How to CLOSE a Coaching Conversation

How do you close a coaching conversation successfully? Have you ever had a coaching conversation that seemed like it would never end? Have you felt like you and the client never got to the outcomes? Or that you are going over time because the conversation doesn't seem to have a stopping point? Join me; I give you examples of questions and a flow to the conversation that will help you!
I hope you will enjoy the short video as much as I enjoyed making it for you. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas! What subject should we explore next?
Please subscribe, comment, and share - thank you!
Thank you so much ‪@Icecandy1882‬ for bringing this question forward for us to explore!
Free coaching resources, coaching conversation demos, & training: academy.lyssadehart.com/
Where can you find Lyssa?
Website: lyssadehart.com/
Book: The Reflective Coach: amzn.to/3LeW7oQ
Book: Light Up: The Science of Coaching with Metaphors: amzn.to/42iI74l
RaeNotes: bit.ly/RAENOTES
Mentor Coaching: academy.lyssadehart.com/icf-m...
Certified Power of Metaphor Coach Course: academy.lyssadehart.com/power...
00:00 Welcome
00:56 Why it's important
02:40 Agreement Setting
03:41 Linear Questioning
04:48 Examples of Questions
05:26 Relationship to X
06:06 Sets Up Container & Facilitates Client Growth
06:40 Time Awareness
07:40 Anchor Learning & Actions
09:14 Longer Session?
10:06 Managing Time
11:08 The Client Gap & Insights
12:44 Overview of Ideas
15:04 Wrap-Up and Closing
If you would like to buy me a cup of joe as a thank you for my content, please visit me here: www.buymeacoffee.com/lyssadehart
Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC, BCC is the author of StoryJacking: Change Your Dialogue, Transform Your Life; the Reflective Coach, and Light Up: The Science of Coaching with Metaphors. She is the host of the Coaching Studio, is a Confidence Coach, Certified Mentor Coach, Coaching SuperVision Partner, ICF PCC Assessor, and coaching educator. Using her understanding of the ICF Core Competencies, combined with her knowledge of Neuroscience, Lyssa works with Professional Coaches to expand their capacity to partner with their clients through how they show up and hold the space for those with whom they work.
Cheers, Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC, BCC

[@maureenclement2553]

Wonderful explanation and suggestions. Thank you🌸

[@LyssadeHart]

I look forward to hearing how you play with the ideas :)

[@jacquelinechen8284]

Thank you so much Lyssa for your rercording. It is truly helpful about what you mentioned to exploring "the relationship about X", going beyond the limit of following what client thought would be the goal of the session.

[@LyssadeHart]

Thanks for the comment @jacquelinechen8284 I do think we owe it to our clients and our coaching, to anchor the learning :)

[@robertoj.bendana9760]

Lyssa, thank you for these amazing videos, they help me sharpen my saw.....this one is great....gracias, gracias

[@LyssadeHart]

Yay, I love supporting people to continue developing their coaching. I am constantly in a state of growth myself. :)

[@daliah7547]

Thank you so much Lyssa for this profound explanation.

[@LyssadeHart]

You are absolutely welcome! What landed with you the most?

[@JenKumar]

Thank you for this rich conversation.

[@LyssadeHart]

You are very welcome! What are you taking away and going to play with in your coaching?

[@hadaralfi1284]

Thank you. I’m learning coaching this days in Israel and I love watching your videos. You help me become a better coacher ❤

[@LyssadeHart]

Wonderful to hear that the videos are useful :) Happy Coaching!

[@juliaheatherwick]

Wonderful! Always leaving me with more to think about.

[@LyssadeHart]

Yay! I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t leave you with something to think about 😂

[@jennifermcgucken8657]

Thanks.....that was a very helpful video! Struggling with the ending of sessions. Going to try your suggestions. Cheers

[@LyssadeHart]

Thank you @jennifermcgucken8657 for watching and commenting! I'm happy you found the video useful. If you have any suggestions on a video topic you would like to see, please send my way. Happy Coaching!

[@sibyllejasinski3643]

Very helpful! Thank you 😊

[@LyssadeHart]

Yay! Happy Coaching Sibylle.

[@Icecandy1882]

Thank you so much for this video and answering my question. I really appreciate it. I learned so much and will definitely watch it again for more impact and better retention. I love your use of metaphors (bookends, presents etc.) Thanks for reminding me that sometimes messy is okay and that learning from coaching happens between sessions too. BTW, really cute dog on the sofa. I got a bit distracted. hihi

[@LyssadeHart]

Well, I really appreciate your question!!! Please ask more, you may be my muse :) And, I agree, I love my little Taavi dog.

[@adepejuadegoke9960]

Thank you for your insightful sessions always. Very relatable.

[@LyssadeHart]

:) Thank you for the feedback!

[@glenajanemamauag2045]

Another insightful video and your dog at the back is sooo cute! Lately, I've been listening to your podcast. Wondering if you can also invite Marion Franklin, MCC as a guest? That would be wonderful! Thanks Lyssa!

[@LyssadeHart]

I do love my dogs, in my new office you can't see them, but they are still here. I appreciate the vote for Marion Franklin :) I will put her on my list.

[@veronicagarciacampos3934]

Love your coaching demos. They are extremely helpful. Wondering if you will do more 1:1? 🙏🏽❤️

[@LyssadeHart]

Are you interested in partnering with me? We could do a coaching session... Let me know I am always open to coaching. :)

[@LoriWoods]

This is awesome.

[@LyssadeHart]

Thank you, Lori! I'm delighted you found it useful. Please reach out anytime with questions. Cheers, Lyssa

[@ShivrajParshad]

Thank you so much Lyssa, I love your videos. The one place I get stuck with in some coaching sessions is tackling clients who say 'I don't know' very often when asked to reflect or go deeper. I've tried the 'as if' frame and also asking what they would like to know now that they don't know and get push back. Would be really grateful if you had a way of addressing the 'I don't knows'

[@LyssadeHart]

LOL. The "I don't know..." (IDK) is tough. Sometimes it is that the client hasn't thought in that way before and they are processing; sometimes, they really don't know, and other times, it is a way of creating distance. You have several choice points: 1. Stay quiet; the IDK may turn into something if you don't fill the silence. 2. Ask about what they do know, for example: I hear the IDK. Is there a place we need to explore that might bring more clarity? 3. Ask the client to reorient you, example: If this is an IDK place if we are considering your goal for today, where do we need to go from here? Those are a few ideas, given I am not in the conversation you are thinking of :) Thanks for the great question!

[@clarebeckett-mcinroy7953]

Great

[@LyssadeHart]

Hello @clarebeckett-mcinroy7953 - thank you so much for watching and commenting! Cheers!

[@sabinebarth2220]

Hi Lyssa, many thanks for this insight. I sometimes wonder in coaching sessions, wether I am helping my coachees enough, because I have the feeling that nothing happens (which I know cannot actually be the case). I just want my coachees to get the best support possible from me. Do you have a recommendation here? Maybe switch the level more in exploring feelings or how to ask a good question?

[@LyssadeHart]

Great questions. I wonder if you might be under valuing the importance of supporting your clients to have inside out self-awareness.  My experience is that coaches feel that there is something they need to “do” to provide support, versus learning to hold the space and staying curious. I would absolutely agree that training yourself to ask powerful questions that invite the client to explore their relationship to situation.

[@sabinebarth2220]

@@LyssadeHart Thank you so much, this answer is very helpful. Do you maybe have a couple of favorite questions that you like to ask for exploring their relationship to situation? Happy Holidays!

[@LyssadeHart]

@@sabinebarth2220 Happy Holidays. Questions are so dependent on what the client offered the coach. Do you have an example of something a client said that you are specifically curious about? Here is an example that I came across in one of my early coaching demos. Scenario: "The client wants to work on their new business, but there are a couple of areas that feel like stumbling blocks that they would like to explore in the conversation." Now the coach has some choice points: Ask the client about their business idea. Ask the client to tell more about the stumbling blocks. Ask the client to start to envision an outcome. Ask the client about the meaning and importance of the topic. In this convo, when I was an ACC, I asked the client, "Before we get started, could you tell me a little more about your business idea?" Not horrible, but definitely focused on the surface/situational. If I were having the convo today, I would ask these types of questions: "I am hearing stumbling blocks, what is most important about those blocks today?" "When you look at those stumbling blocks, what would be different if we were to explore them?" "What block would you like to begin exploring?" I know the stumbling blocks are there, and she wants to explore them, so what has me not asking about them and instead asking her about her business idea? So, the questions that lead below the surface are going to depend on what the client shares with you.

[@sabinebarth2220]

@@LyssadeHart : Thank you so much for this vivid answer. I actually have two examples: Client 1: Is not connected with her emotions and most of the time answers with: "I don't know", "I can't think of anything" etc. Here, I would hold the space for the "not knowing" and would try to find out, what shows up. Client 2: We are working on how to reach self-efficacy in her work environment. In her personal life, it works already, but she cannot transfer the ressources, that she brilliantly uses in her private life, into her business life. What would you do here? Thank you so much in advance!

[@LyssadeHart]

@@sabinebarth2220 Very interesting. I am often curious about how "not knowing" is serving the client. One hypothesis might be that the "I don't know" is a protective response to saying something that might impact how people view or judge her. I might share I am noticing this pattern, and I could be completely in left field, but it feels [insert your best guess here] protective; what comes up for you as I share that? There are lots of versions of this. I would also be interested in what the larger overarching goal for the coaching is and how does the "I don't know" impact the larger goal? As far as client 2, now that I shared some ideas on client 1, what comes up for you as ways to get curious? :)