How To DESTROY Narcissists’ Mind-Reading Claims With Facts & Logic

Narcissists like to claim they know what other people think. They'll tell you they're right. They'll accuse other people of "being bad people" or "thinking the wrong thing". And they're so convinced, we might believe them.
But of course, this is more rubbish as we know that they are not mind readers. So how can we avoid falling for this trap?
First, reframe our thinking to avoid binary "either / or", "black or white", thinking. Then, learn one simple question to identify whether the other person is engaging in overly simplistic thinking.
Finally, I share one question we can ask ourselves to make sure we're not doing the same mistake and haven't been tricked into thinking like a narcissist.
#narcissist #healingafternarcissists #ribersson

[@fribersson]

What do you find most helpful? Anything you disagree with? Does this remind you of anything that happened to you? Thanks for the likes and comments!

[@MH-cv5ye]

Here's the thing, I actually love having to use my mind to 'work things out' even really abstract things, but the reason narcs really don't do it for me is the fact that everything they say fluctuates. Everything in the universe has a specific value, such as numbers and words. The values from narcs change from scenario to scenario, therefore have absolutely no meaning.

[@fribersson]

Absolutely agreed MH, they have objectivity and claim it doesn't exist because, if it does, they lose power. And all they see is power. "Facts don't care about feelings" - therefore facts are unpractical because they can be studied and are hard to manipulate... Those people are exhausting...

[@missally3333]

@@MH-cv5ye Never thought of it that way.

[@anonymouslyanonymous4774]

As I am getting older I am starting to realize that I fall prey to gaslighting myself too often with over simplistic thinking. I really appreciate you sharing this.

[@fribersson]

We easily do Anonymously, especially as we get more jaded or cynical. Hence being really careful around angry or resentful people who might seek to live out their revenge through others… Happy you found this helpful!

[@anonymouslyanonymous4774]

@@fribersson your exact verbiage is more timely then you may realize. As I am learning more and more about who I am and why I have responded (actually reacted) the way I do I am reminded more and more how much I need to grow. Just yesterday I gave my peace away allowing myself to be triggered. I think that I might not know how to fully grow…but as I learn about my past I only go so far…and I think I become prideful in my knowledge (sad…but at least I am seeing it). It seems that there will always be toxic people to remind me again and again to grow and to also be a type of mirror to show when I am being prideful I really appreciate your content

[@noacitri9809]

Yes. 'Mine' used to say he can read people's minds !

[@fribersson]

That’s common. And when someone tells them they’re wrong, they’ll tell that person that that person is wrong and is lying to themselves. Beware people who spout nonsense that can’t be falsified and claim to be right 100% of the time.

[@hissyfitz7890]

Love the thumbnail! Looks like our Cleo but you’d never get an aluminum foil hat on her. 😹😹😹

[@thecrabbydad]

I love your work: your analysis, insights, and delivery of the toxic mindset is calming and foundational. Thank you. 🙏

[@fribersson]

Thank you so much Conrad for your kind words, I really appreciate it and am pleased you're finding some ideas helpful. Yes, we can see through this and realist it's more annoying than anything else, once we're in a good place. Until then, it is a nightmare... Thank you and all the best!

[@mandilynn24]

I am super intuitive and half way through this, and it is so tough to make sense of these people. It is like they almost have a form of dementia and you can always see how ridiculous they are but these folks are so blinded by their own illusion, nothing can break them of it...nothing....not trauma That has currently happened to their own child , etc. They are strange. It's like a hypnotic state of "I rule" ....from the 80's....

[@fribersson]

Hi Amanda! The key there might be the "trying to make sense of it". That's a trick to keep us vulnerable (and also keep cashflow going for dishonest shrinks and keep views coming for unhelpful channels). I might actually make a video about that specific topic today, it's really important to understand so we don't waste our precious time! (and it's easier than to explain in a comment 😁).

[@izquierdocollar]

Very well described. Similar to the black and white metaphors in the other videos, I.e. no grays, the good and bad extreme options negate all possibility of nuances, I.e. grays. When the narc succeeds in having you agree with their viewpoint, all narc supply funneling is cut off. Then, the narc will need to disagree, since that would bring more fuel. Lose-lose is the only two options available.

[@fribersson]

Yes, exactly Jose, expanding the topic and taking a slightly different angle. Indeed, they remove nuance as that prevent us from navigating life and makes us dependent on them - then they can mock us when we navigate poorly on our own. And you’re right, get us to agree then create a new conflict. We expect honesty, but they just cause chaos for the fun of it… And this is never sustainable, a win-win relationship with narcissists isn’t possible as they always want others to lose, even if it means they lose to. And maybe that’s they’re goal: drag everyone down into the mud with them…

[@izquierdocollar]

Hence an opportunity to gaslight.

[@martiemcbride9420]

This is incredibly enlightening. I love the triangle/square stick figure models. Thank you.

[@fribersson]

Really pleased to read that, thanks for your kind comment Martie!

[@shmikkil]

Extremely helpful! Your channel is a revelation & you deserve so many more subscribers!

[@fribersson]

That's so kind Harsha, I'm really pleased to read you're finding the ideas helpful. Re subscribers, the KZbin algo will decide - and I'm cognisant that with a relatively small (not sure how 2k is small?!) number we can actually share more, these are precious times. Very best wishes!

[@shmikkil]

@@fribersson Sure, Fred! Your videos helped me get a diff. perspective and I have shared the content with a few of my closest. 2k is not small and I think this is the language and nuance in thinking that needs to be introduced to folks who's had experiences with various personality issues (Not pitting these folks against your channel but subscribers from Dr Ramani, Dr Les Carter, Mr.Grannon will also find your content very very helpful)! Wishing you the best to you and the channel! Take care!

[@shmikkil]

@@fribersson Thank You, Fred!

[@sleeperno1215]

If I could make one statement that describes narcissists, it is that everything they do is to get you to ultimately delegate your judgement about pretty much everything to them.

[@fribersson]

Yes, power and control. Hence their difficulties “agreeing to disagree” or respecting other opinions.

[@missally3333]

So then they can abandon you, and know that you are floundering without them, and that they have hurt you, even crippled you, emotionally. Narcissists have to cause pain, suffering, doubt, and bewilderment. There is a demon inside each and every one. My daughter is a narcissist. Life's been good to me so far? Ha ha ha

[@adbc8737]

For myself, forcing anything generally has had a poor outcome….I have learned, actually still learning, to simply pay attention and if the context changes then adjust that which you can change… yourself… I am much happier these days… Thank You for these videos… they are reinforcing what I have learned to be true and what works for me…. 🌀❤️🌀

[@fribersson]

Hi AD, I find that generally forcing anything is unwise. Surfing taught me this, I can believe the wave is wrong, then I'll end up in the water. That perhaps differentiates us from toxic people: we're not trying to force an outcome, we're willing to accept disagreement and respect others as equals. Really pleased you're enjoying the videos, thank you for the kind words :-)

[@saltnsugar3025]

I thank you for the clarity and understanding

[@fribersson]

Most welcome, happy you found it helpful - and thank you for commenting!

[@LeafsIn2025]

Complicated statistics made simple and how to arm one's self in a position of healthy authority versus gaslit vulnerability. Another well-researched and, "Ah, ha!" 💡 moment-filled video, Frederik. Thank you!

[@fribersson]

Most welcome LeafsIn, thank you for your kind words!

[@LeafsIn2025]

@@fribersson My privilege. 🙏🧡

[@lrooney813]

They love the unspokeness … if you take that bait- they have got you & they can do whatever they want from there if you give them your power….

[@fribersson]

Yes, indeed, make the mistake of engaging and we're often trapped through their mind games - a nightmare. That makes us doubt ourselves as we easily contradict ourselves when talking, or rather they make us believe we're contradicting ourselves by perverting our words and intentions in ways that make it hard to understand. That's how the gaslight starts: make us distrust ourselves :-/

[@flawedplan]

It's a hard lesson, staying inside that gray area about people who are triggering me, and our culture has a lot to do with pushing us into the good/bad dichotomy. I do work at it, and find the bell curve and calm presentation helpful.

[@neo_7864]

sometimes if not most of the time, comparing makes things worst..because every thing unique on their own.

[@fribersson]

Very true, Neo, in which case comparing can… help us realise it is unique and the comparison makes little or no sense ;-)

[@neo_7864]

@@fribersson true, comparing just makes realise our own mistake..in other point that doesnt mean NPD person doesnt compare...if that makes sense.

[@peterwolf2497]

Grey areas in thinking that's most people, as modern life puts so many pressures and influences on people, we can't reasonably be expected to get everything correct, but the delusional ones fall back on tried and tested formula of manipulation.

[@fribersson]

Indeed Peter, we can't get it all correct, and we can do our best and let it go. The lunatics claim to get it correct and reject any notion they sometimes are not 100% accurate. Good to be aware of these people and stay clear...

[@uk7769]

The intro made me think of that scene in the movie Dinner For Schmucks, when Zach Galifianakis plays that "TELEPATHIC" IRS income tax auditor! lol I love that scene. Thank you for these vids. Been working on my emotional intelligence. Very helpful. Cheers from Florida USA!

[@fribersson]

Jeez, I missed that remake of the French movie, thank you for sharing! Great, happy you're finding them helpful :) all the best in Florida!

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

I always watch your videos to the end :-)

[@fribersson]

Thank you Susan, much appreciated - I do my best to make them worthwhile! 😁

[@jlmadd]

⚪️◾️🔳🔲☑️ SCRIPTS, actors, roles, characters, talk. Use your damn voice. We all humans

[@arashigumdrop]

Him: "I believe blah blah blah..."; Me: "I Don't Care What You Think Or Believe - - HaHaHa." Bye Now.

[@gitasart]

I don't know. I was constantly told that things are not black and white and I am a box whereas the narc is a circle. Keep in mind this was when confronted about cheating. I suspected and called her out and then she told me cheating isn't cheating. There are so many types of cheating and she did all of them but used this black and white thinking accusation to gaslight me.

[@fribersson]

Great point Brigitta. Here I'd suggest the following: yes, we can debate what it cheating and what isn't (black or white), but using the 0-10 scale, we can assess the behaviour was at (for example) 3 / 10 for her and 9 / 10 for you. And for you, the dealbreaker was anywhere about 6. So that's that. Sure, there are many types of cheating, but what happened didn't work for you. You don't need to explain or justify, it didn't work. And did the other person expect you to be happy? Neutral? Are they saying they don't know you? Are they surprised? Does this reframe make sense? Thanks for sharing, that must have been dreadful :-/

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

I think it's a low self-esteem behavior. These ''mind readers'' project their inadequacies on to you and they tell you what the real meaning of your words is. It's something I've experienced a few times, when I had a lower self-esteem and was resonating on a lower frequency. About 10 years ago, I was dating somebody who seem great to start with, then BAM, I was up in the metaphoric dock, defending myself against charges of having meant x when I said y! I said that I was surely the best judge of what my own words meant, but no, I was corrected, I was on trial. He was the judge of what the actual meaning of my words was. I am so wary of this now. I spot it a mile off as it's something I've come across a few times.

[@fribersson]

Yes, it largely is insecurity. Secure people are ok with others doing whatever works for them, they even encourage it. Toxic people try to force outcomes, that's one thing that makes them toxic...

[@gobigirl1]

Yes, narcs/sociopaths present a world where you can be either a doormat or a villain (the black and white, you're with me or against me) model. The people I have found to be the safest, most trustworthy, least aggressive people are: those who can "do" emotionally vulnerable self-disclosure themselves; who are relaxed about having flaws themselves; and who neither idealize nor vilify others (the nuances and shades of grey that you describe). I have been drawn in by narcissists and sociopaths partly because they are often skilled at first praising and inflating other people, then completely deflating other people, just as they themselves are exquisitely sensitive to inflation and deflation. I had to learn that if I am initially dazzled by someone, and electrified, that that is a danger sign for me. Genuine, safe people tend to be much quieter, more matter-of-fact. I also notice that my body feels relaxed and my mind feels quiet around safe people, there's no frantic internal effort to make sense of what is going on, because with safe, congruent people, words and actions mostly match.

[@keithachrist]

I’ve actually had a narcissist read my mind it was the only time in my life that it truly has ever happen to me it was quite alarming as I was thinking of the narcissist and he actually responded in full sentence to my thought ……

[@fribersson]

It's weird when it happens, uncanny - some people can, hence the likelihood being low but not 0. However, they claim it's 100%. You know, I worked at one point as conference interpreter and a few times I finished the translated sentence before the speaker. Was that "tuning into their thoughts" or simply "highly unoriginal thought"? I have no idea. And yes, weird feeling when someone does it to us ;-)

[@EstherMadrigal-t9q]

Prophecy 🌟

[@chickenbiscuit4525]

I'm still wondering if the gone green person with the triangle in mind is sane and rational at all. That they might be an extreme geometries and the true telepathic red triangle visionary person really feels like giving them an issue to solve. The third person still needs to demonstrate sound logic high up on the bell curve or what use are they going to be? As it is they're running late enough to school as it is. This scenario reminds me lots like how catfights are in alleys when they first start standing-off to eachother. ✌ Maybe cats generally are more telepathic and their all just walking around with a fish shape in their minds.

[@fribersson]

Ha, excellent question Chicken. Maybe the only answers are: how can we know and why should we care? If they’re insane but act nice, so be it. If they act awful, so be it. As long as their life works out for them and ours for us, that’s that… As for the third person, they can just observe there’s a disagreement and let people lead their life, keeping away from toxicity when possible. Of course, models such as this one don’t explain everything, but they can reduce the confusion and noise…

[@Skualo-77]

Nah!!