How to Earn Respect from your Restaurant Staff

Restaurant Owners... It might seem silly, but there are 2 tips I give to clients when they tell me that they are struggling with their staff respecting them in their restaurant. One is to ensure you’re improving their lives, the other is unconditional love. Watch the video as I explain both of them.
To learn more please either watch the video above or click the link below to read the transcript or listen to the podcast on my website.
Also, please leave your questions or comments I will answer them all.
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Please be sure to like this video and leave your comments or questions below as well as share this video with your friends, co-workers and other restaurant owners, managers and operators. I promise to respond to every comment or question!
Thank you,
Ryan Gromfin
The Restaurant Boss
TheRestaurantBoss.com

[@restauranttrainingvideos9516]

Right on! Yes! Managers have to add value to your life and make your job easier. Otherwise they are in the way. I wish all managers understood this!

[@Therestaurantboss]

Most managers won't get this, if they do they have jobs. Our job as leaders is to to develop them into the manager you want them to be.

[@faraviqureshi777]

These two points are correct. Another way to earn the respect of your staff as Manager/Owner is to lead by example and have the most established skills. Employees don't like bosses who just point with their finger and shout orders while sitting at the bar reading a newspaper.

[@Therestaurantboss]

I don't completely agree, do be the best coach you don't have to be the best at the skill you are coaching. Otherwise all great golf coaches would be playing professional golf. To be a great coach (or leader) you must improve others lives. You don't need to clean the toilet first to inspire others to clean it.

[@dereckkami8200]

I'm only a cook. But I appreciate having a manger that worked all positions of the service.

[@jimmyortiz9474]

Great perspective!

[@Onevoicefromjoi]

Best video on this channel ever. Unconditional love, improving their lives

[@tami_zee]

Great channel Ryan!

[@MattFeige11]

This was unexpectedly deep great job man

[@venanciocassule6857]

Fantastic advice! Keep it up, Ryan!

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thanks, I will.

[@karieborton8211]

I sent my thanks for sharing this information

[@SimbaAllergy]

wonderful advice

[@marinazablit]

I absolutely am learning so much from your videos- thank you 😊

[@Therestaurantboss]

I'm so glad!

[@jonathantran8622]

You are so simply right! Luv it. Just subscribed.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thanks for subscribing!

[@jeffgragg8768]

These videos are helping me more than any other single thing I do to improve my leadership skills Thanks so much

[@Therestaurantboss]

Wow - we are blown away by this comment. You are very welcome!

[@boscossendagire3456]

thank so much i love what you are doing may God bless you

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you.

[@savanahquinn4237]

Thank you for all your advice , I literally use it on a daily basis!

[@Therestaurantboss]

You're so welcome! Thanks you :) -Dawn, Team TRB

[@dezerayb3980]

Love this video. I cannot explain how frustrating it was working in restaurants that expect their business to be my life (come in Every Time the phone rings, regularly stay late with utterly No Notice, etc.) but had absolutely NOTHING to contribute to my life. Accountability from Both ends is underrated and understated, so hearing it from an owner who Clearly knows what they are talking about is uplifting and wonderfully reassuring!

[@Therestaurantboss]

I am sorry that you've had these experiences. But it's great to see you are learning from their mistakes!

[@JAYAKODY191]

Good job..

[@rubyrosaderoma]

Hello Ryan, thank you so much for your effort to teach people whos want to learn more how to run or build a new restaurant. Even a person like who have no pln to put a business but since i follow your vlog, i had learn so much from you. The first time i hearded your voice and the way you talked it really magnet me , ur explanation is so clear n believeable . Thank you so much and God bless you. More vlog please.😃

[@Therestaurantboss]

I am so glad the videos are helpful!

[@bimhu1]

yes but sometimes there are staffs who has bad attitude and dont wanna follow the system no matter how many times you tell them. as a manager i would first evaluate thiers perfomances and give them few chances but still no improvement i would consider replacing. at the end of the day it is 'BUSINESS". "RESPECT" is other thing, it has to come from both the sides. if you do whatever the staff wants then obviously they will be happy and respect you. Every restaurant must have an employee handbook and should follow accordingly.

[@Therestaurantboss]

I am sorry, I don't understand "if you do whatever the staff wants they will be happy and respect you"? Was that a typo?

[@cdsand45s]

i'm in complete agreement with you Brad

[@johnnyblade1293]

I get it. If all you do is appease them then of course they’ll be nice, but we all need balance. I’m working with a pinched nerve, in a place I love, just made restaurant manager. I’m in a predicament where although I NEED time off, neither the restaurant nor I can afford it. Most restaurants don’t want to pay workers comp because they can’t afford it. I’m excited and a little scared at the same time, but I know this back will heal up and what I really want is for staff to have fun, work smart, work hard and get paid.

[@brandoboyer731]

@@Therestaurantboss agreed, you will not earn respect by doing what your employees want you to do instead of whats right for your business. It will literally do the opposite

[@kristas.gramens3430]

This is so helpful... thank you. I was in the military for a long time and a lot of these concepts were just second nature for me. But now I own a bakery/restaurant with my husband and am having a hard time with knowing how to apply these concepts and putting forth the right energy to make my staff happy, motivated, and understand expectations clearly. I really appreciate these videos because they help me put the right labels on some of these concepts I know need improvement in my establishment.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Awesome and thank you for your service! I am glad the videos are helping you. Watch for the March videos series - it's all about becoming a better Manager. I think you will love it!

[@7nishant101291]

Mr. Ryan Gromfin you teach us the best things everything about restaurant. I have been watching many videos but your videos are the best learning lessons one can have. Thank you and respect from INDIA

[@Therestaurantboss]

I appreciate that! Thank you, sir!

[@williamjaysongamboa4432]

What a very helpful topics!!! More POWER to you!!!!

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you! You too!

[@stanleymwangi6724]

Im new to restaurant management and i guess few things can be stressful and important as human resource. we need more of this. I hope to learn more, to make my new role successful

[@Therestaurantboss]

Welcome and happy to have you here!

[@kabirislam5201]

Thank you

[@mehboobkhan6913]

Thanku very much Dear. Really it's very informative and useful information. X

[@Therestaurantboss]

You are welcome!

[@jamalmneney2613]

Brilliant I love this plan

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you!

[@ec-globalwithpastorfavour7657]

Amazing

[@chantelvanacker6601]

Been in the restaurant biz for 20 years but this was so helpful. I've managed before but I am newly managing a restaurant that is very busy and I really find your videos helpful. I hope I don't disappoint them. Thank you for your videos!💜

[@Therestaurantboss]

I am so glad the videos helped you!! If you really want a refresher, then be sure to check out my training program, Restaurant Manager Certification. It's a deep dive into all things a manager needs to know and is very affordable! therestaurantboss.com/program/restaurant-manager-certification

[@chantelvanacker6601]

@@Therestaurantboss awesome thank you

[@thepianistcooks3776]

I agree!

[@jackiewills6915]

Very great video on knowing how to earn respect from your employees. I communicate with my employees a lot with the Connecteam app. It has a chat for communication and also has a service schedule for scheduling of the restaurant.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thanks for sharing!

[@LotusM-mk9ms]

Thank you for sharing your ideas with us. I just got my first promotion at work and I'm trying to improve as much as possible as well as gain respect from my co workers the right way

[@Therestaurantboss]

Congrats on the promotion! - Dawn, Team TRB

[@arashsani6719]

that was sooooo helpful thanQ sooo much

[@Therestaurantboss]

You are very welcome!

[@stefanuzunow4931]

awesome lesson.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Glad you liked it.

[@benhudson9861]

Preach it

[@user-loser97]

Trying to get promoted to general manager at the restaurant I started working at a month ago. I’m a hostess right now but they really need a new manager and the restaurant is less than a year old so I feel like I’m part of something special and I’m trying to learn as much as I can so I can get this position!! Thanks your videos are awesome. ☺️

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi Ashley! Congratulations on recognizing the need and having the drive to get there. You might consider taking my Restaurant Manager Certification course. It's very affordable and will teach you everything you need to know about being a manager. therestaurantboss.com/programs/rmc

[@Sajid_7177]

I am your new subscriber realy love it.i would like to learn everyday from your vedio. your vedios is helping me a lot.Thanks.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Awesome! Thank you for subscribing. We release new videos (almost) every week on Wednesdays. Hope you enjoy them!

[@milkiyasmussie6557]

Truth!

[@magicworldamit2023]

thank you sir

[@Therestaurantboss]

Your very welcome.

[@tammykilmer3784]

This was insightful and very good, but I wish that it would have been more in depth. Maybe you could do a follow up or another one that builds more on this topic. And maybe some ideas for walking into a new job as the new Manager.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Great suggestion! I will add it to our idea list.

[@scottcountryman6090]

Nice video I learned something

[@Therestaurantboss]

Awesome!

[@evangelosanagnostou3981]

Hey! Can we have an updated more in-depth video? You're awesome!

[@biswajitdey9066]

Sir nice information. 👍👍

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you!

[@thelandingpub]

I love this. As a naturally gentle and nurturing person, I have had SO many people tell me I have to come down harder on my people. Not only does it feel icky to me, it never ends well. I feel so validated in my management style after watching this! Thank you!

[@Therestaurantboss]

Manage systems and develop people when they don't follow the systems. Don't come down on your people, develop them into the person you want them to be.

[@Therestaurantboss]

But that does not mean you lower your standards, you must maintain standards.

[@clarobscura]

Thanj you for your videos and i have just found your channel, i am trying to get a position in the social media/promotional non existent department at the restaurant i really want to work. I am learning a lot and will get my proposal soon to present them with it.

[@Therestaurantboss]

awesome, good luck.

[@Xaiando]

Thanks, I'm on the right track it seems. 👍

[@Therestaurantboss]

Awesome!

[@Xaiando]

@@Therestaurantboss did you cover how to help staff train speed and focus? I find mine trailing off in thought as they do dishes or polish glass. I'd like them to be snappy about those tasks so we get time for other things, and I'd rather inspire them to greatness instead of yelling

[@Therestaurantboss]

Try these videos: therestaurantboss.com/create-positive-culture-restaurant and therestaurantboss.com/hold-restaurant-staff-accountable

[@victoriascallion8120]

Thank you so much for your information. Want to come run my restaurant? HA! All jokes aside, thank you for your help.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Where are you located...but all jokes aside, you can do this yourself and train others. It takes work, no question but it also takes the right strategy.

[@showman9632]

I have literally been binge watching a ton of your videos, good stuff and thank you by the way for all of your valuable advice. When it comes to improving the staffs lives as a manager for (Servers, Bartenders, server assistants), can you give me some examples?

[@Therestaurantboss]

Find out what is important to them, are they in school to be an actor, a barber do they have dreams to play golf on a certain course one day, do they a kid that is struggling in school etc... and go out of your way to help them. It's the small things. I had an employee that needed a lot of dental work and could not afford it. We had a regular who was a Dentist. I spoke to the dentist and he did a certain amount of free work for people who could not afford it every year and agreed to do a majority of the work for my employee at no cost. THAT CHANGED HIS LIFE.

[@showman9632]

The Restaurant Boss Awesome thanks!

[@trevorthebarber995]

Hi Ryan......Starting a new job as the senior F&B assistant I am finding it very hard for my young staff to respect or listen to what I am telling them. Being ex British forces I am used to people doing as they are told....staff from 17 to 24 years old constantly on their mobile phones, going off to have a cig break or disappearing to use the bathroom with out telling us where they have gone. Myself and other senior staff are part of a new team to improve the hotel where I am working now. Its frustrating and struggling while we slowly improve things......This video and many others your doing is helping a great deal. Some things are slightly different in the UK compared to the USA. ......I am striving to become a GM of a UK country side hotel.

[@Therestaurantboss]

First, thank you for your service. Remember one thing Strict and Mean are very different. I assume in your service, your senior officers were strick. They might have also been mean. You don't have to be mean, but you do have to be strict. You have to set the standard and hold everybody accountable, just do it nicely. If your policy is no phones, ENFORCE it. This generation is rebelling against leadership because they have never been lead to great places. Take them there. They will listen and they will follow when they trust that you can lead them to a better place. Trust me, things are not as different as you think, people are people. Good Luck.

[@trevorthebarber995]

Many thanks for replying.....Great to hear from you. I am looking at putting together videos to coach new and present writers / waitresses in the hospitality industry. I work at a 4 star hotel and the surroundings are very much a wow factor in Kent , UK. ......From military to civil life I have to now be cotton wool so not get put in from of HR department, lol......I'll get there slowly ....Cheers for replying

[@carerector6266]

Thank you for the enlightenments and different perspectives to better management. It’s always good to know there are genuine managers in the world. We definitely of light. I do have a question: how would you advise me on following up on an interview? What are the things I should include besides checking on the status of my application? How do I continue to be confident in my work in speaking but not sound desperate or trying to sell it to them? Thank you!

[@Therestaurantboss]

I was always very confident and basically asked to skip the interview and go right to putting me in the restaurant for a few hours. I wanted them to see how good I was. When I needed a job in a kitchen, I called the best restaurant in town and asked when I could come in a work a shift. They would say they are not hiring, I would say, let's have that conversation as I work a shift. I got both of my 5 star hotel jobs that way. Times are different, you should not have a hard time getting a job today.

[@alexguzman743]

I'm a new subscriber and started watching your videos and I like them...I been in the restaurant business for a long time and I'm still trying to learn to be a good manager...my question is, how you improve an employees life? Is there's a system in place that they have to follow to make the work load easier, them what else can I do to improve their lives?

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi Alex! Great question. Yes, by having checklists in place and a process for following them, everybody will know exactly what is expected of them. This will make their workload easier because expectations have been set.

[@mateomatthews9473]

I am almost 21 and I have like 2 years working in restaurants. I have great achievements and great feedbacks from costumers and even the boss tells me I’m a great worker. Should I ask to try out for manager? Or is it too soon? Hopefully you could read this.. I like the job but I think I can make some new improvements.

[@stevec404]

There is a place for everyone in the workforce. Not everyone can fill every place due to their capacity to master the required skills, or attitude. If the organization is big enough, then there might be a right place for each of their employees. In a very small organization, there may not be a place that is the right fit for everyone. Keeping the wrong person in the wrong job is a disservice to all. By hiring with care, providing structure through systems, extending trust, verifying performance, and having an 'always learning' policy...every conscientious employee will give their best every day. It is up to owners and managers to provide the structure in which all can thrive. Anything less builds degenerative stress into the workforce culture. The ideal is to have a collaborative workforce; following leadership that values employees as much as customers.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Well said Sir!

[@orlandocancino8239]

Okay Ryan that was right on sir! Now how do I keep my children in mind when talking to those bearing employees

[@Therestaurantboss]

Ha! Sometimes, yes. They are like an extension of your family.

[@sandoshack]

I start my first day as kitchen manager Monday. I've always been a line cook. I'm so nervous lmao. Your videos are helping though.

[@ClickToPreview]

Just remember this magic line, "Hey Steven, can you do me a favor and...", or "Hey, Steven, can I get you to...". That way you are delegating to your crew in a friendly way. The worst thing you can do is try to do it all yourself. Make a list of everything your boss expects from a kitchen manager, and what the boss expects of the people under the kitchen manager. That will help you immensely.

[@Glover6011]

Simliar spot now. Been server, host, dishwasher, line cook over 13yr period. Starting as a manager at new location next week. Feeling the pressure haha.

[@saranrai2929]

Hi Sir, if I am a new for ARM position. What would be the first goal in order to optimize further operation?

[@monadawod3]

i am having a competency interview for restaurant manager position within two days and your videos is great help , if there is any advise that you can provide to help me , i will be so grateful to you , thanks and best of luck

[@Therestaurantboss]

Did you get the job?

[@monadawod3]

The Restaurant Boss, yes i did

[@Therestaurantboss]

Fantastic.

[@monadawod3]

The Restaurant Boss it is a big challenge for me as it is my first time to work in such an area . Honestly i tried to resign last week but my manager was sad and he told to give a chance

[@shyb0y13]

do you have any tips on employee scheduling for a small burger joint? what to do when one person calls off (avoid someone staying all day or coming on day off)

[@monkeydoo1489]

Johnnymacias13

[@reynaldofranciscoblakewrig7716]

I'm from panama

[@mcquade50able]

Unfortunately I have tried this with my staff from the day dot my door is always open and I have always gone above to make sure that they are OK and have been firm and fair when mistakes and general lack of enthusiasm and some times incompetence has taken place, but it has come to the point where they think I'm a walk over and respect I feel has actually never been there.

[@Therestaurantboss]

There is a difference between always having an open door and making sure your staff is OK and improving their lives. To improve somebody's life, you actually have to get them to do new things, to learn new skills. Otherwise, nothing will actually improve. The way you do that is by holding people accountable, by being strict, but never mean. Think of the best coaches and teachers you have ever had in your life.

[@asdfghjkl123418]

ur superb

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you.

[@asdfghjkl123418]

The Restaurant Boss , I am from India. I running a small qsr. I am planning to open another small qsr. ur vedios r very helpful​. thank you

[@Roady1013]

I need to send this to my manager

[@Therestaurantboss]

Please share away! :)

[@pebyraegranzon2840]

HI ryan how can i handle their pesonal attitude in the restaurant? and how can i help them on their personal growth in this business

[@Therestaurantboss]

Be the example! And be consistent in that example. Show them the behavior you want to see and let them model after you.

[@enriquejsalazar]

I just try to lead by example

[@Therestaurantboss]

Always a good strategy as long as you are consistent with your example!

[@franciscoleon1402]

Been there done that this does not work

[@virnicepajares6146]

i am a good employer i teach my staffs what is right and wrong for the business but it seems they don't learn from it the mistakes they do has not changed and still they do it again.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi! You have to give it a little time and be very consistent with your expectations and consequences/rewards.

[@dhanareyes]

I have staff who shows aggressiveness with the guest and can’t handle difficult guest, how can I manage it?

[@stanleymwangi6724]

wrong guy for the job

[@moonjaguar1]

how do i get the respect form my boss that i should

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi Mada! That is a great question and I think a lot of what is in the videos applies. However, for me to answer the question specifically, we would need to jump on a call to discuss your exact situation. You can grab a One Thing call here: therestaurantboss.com/hire-me

[@surajanthonygomez1688]

how to do this every time there make so many mistakes and iam forgive every time they not a child

[@Therestaurantboss]

That has to be incredibly frustrating for everyone involved. Without knowing more, perhaps the best place to start is back at the beginning training from the ground up. Check out this video Ryan did on training employees: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZTJpK2kr553bs0 Then be sure to get our free Restaurant Owners Toolkit: www.therestaurantboss.com/toolkit -Dawn, Team TRB

[@orlandocancino8239]

FYI I’ve subscribed. I really need help.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Awesome! If you need some one-on-one help, hop on over to therestaurantboss.com/hire-me and grab a One Thing call.

[@ulisesmartinez4253]

I love most of you videos just not agree. With this one..some employees just needs to go..even if u love them they wll not love you and respect. You back

[@Therestaurantboss]

And I'd agree with that - you can't make everybody love you and there are some employees that just don't "fit".

[@barrfam3411]

How could we set up a meeting

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi! You can visit therestaurantboss.com/coaching

[@justinbroadway4940]

Terrible tooth brush analogy. I don’t need to remind my fry guy 4 times that Thursday we dump the grease and put in fresh tallow when he’s a 26 year old man.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hey Justin! I know the toothbrush analogy was oversimplified, but that was why I chose it. Easy to grasp the concept. In your case, I agree, you shouldn't have to remind them over and over and over again. Perhaps it's as simple as improving a process in your kitchen by implementing a weekly checklist that has that task on it. Then you don't have to remind over and over...the checklist does it for you. That was more the meaning of the video.

[@rockyp3917]

Good advice but very vague. A few more to do actions to achieve the desired result would be great

[@Therestaurantboss]

Hi Rocky! Do you have specific questions that I can help answer?

[@rockyp3917]

@@Therestaurantboss Yes, thank you for your reply. How to deal with non complying staff or how to make sure that people who resist bonding with you to do their job. A lot of staff have a know-it-all complex and resist taking instructions from a superior especially if he has been recruited from outside. How to deal with these scenarios

[@Therestaurantboss]

@@rockyp3917 Well that is a totally different topic than earning respect. These are very common problems that have a very common solution. The reply you will get here is very simple, you will likely not like it, but it would take me hours to give you the details you want. The answer is systems. The answer is black and white systems that are either done properly or not done at all. There must be clear checklists, prep-sheets, side work all formatted in a very specific manner and all managed by a manager who knows how to hold people accountable. They must be managed multiple times per day, checked up on etc.... what I am saying takes work. More work then most owners are willing to put in, but the ones that do fix the issues. I have an entire training course dedicated to this topic exactly. It's called the restaurant owners roadmap and if you are interested you can learn more about the course here: therestaurantboss.com/ror

[@Fancyfarmgirl23]

Hope this includes drug addicts and alcoholics as well as bullies with family bullies and don’t forget the famous manipulators

[@akdogmom3940]

You can only do so much with stupid. Dealing with your own children who may be only 4 years old is completely 100% different than dealing with a 17 year old teenager. I'm not going to give a 17 or 19 year old teenager a thousand opportunities to fuck up my restaurant.

[@AskRemy]

please plan out these courses better - stay on topic, do not drag anything out - I scanned the first 45 seconds and now am leaving, it is a waste of my time - title is misleading

[@Therestaurantboss]

Thank you for the feedback. These videos are short, free training videos that I do for my viewers. They are not meant to be a full-blown course...I have those available on my website. I am sorry that you didn't find value in this video. I have 100s of videos on this channel and hope you can find something that suits you better.

[@TheMysticCraft86]

Unconstitutional love?? Yeah, you won't put your child up for adoption if they forget to brush their teeth 300 times... But as a kitchen manager, I would gladly let go someone who undercooks meat or doesn't wash their hands without improvement - before they fkn kill somebody. 🤦‍♂️

[@Therestaurantboss]

Of course, but why are you hiring people who don't wash their hands? This should have been flushed out in the interview process. There has to be an improvement, that is not the point I am making, the point I am making is that we give up too easily and we don't mentor enough. I have done it and I see it too often, we expect change instantly but we don't provide the tools, the training and the mentorship, then we write them off and push them out. How quickly do you think you could change a bad habit your boss points out to you?

[@TheMysticCraft86]

@@Therestaurantboss To answer your question, I think if my boss wanted me to change something - it would be instantaneous... A lot of that is proving that I understand, and am capable of the requested change - if additional resources were needed or if there was a lack of understanding, I would not be shy in communicating that need... I understand your point of view, and respect your qualifications. I agree most managers do not practice empathy. As managers - we are not in charge, but responsible for those in our charge; many forget this. Thanks for the reply.

[@deltabravo1371]

Your kids and your restaurant staff is not a great analogy.

[@Therestaurantboss]

Sorry you feel this way. My point is that we are all humans and respond to a consistent message better than flying off the handle.

[@Fancyfarmgirl23]

Employers are not responsiBle for their spouses and others no wonder the world is yucked up click out