How to FIX your Relationship! | Answering your Questions!

#relationshippodcast #videopodcast #marriageadvice
We want to help you fix your relationship! In this episode we answer some of the most frequent questions we get surrounding people's relationship struggles such as "Why won't he help out with the dishes?" or "why does she blame me for everything?" We try to cover it all while giving you specific tools to help you navigate communication and conflict resolution.

[@tlingitgirl07]

Emotional safety is so key to communication and connection!

[@aurelienyonrac]

I love that things don't have to be resolved. You can walk out of your heat into your heart anytime. Like geting up in the middle of a movie and taking a walk outside. Come as you are. Heaven s gate is open. And in hell, na, let me just fix that before. 😅

[@Joy_736]

I really enjoy your podcast. I smile and I learn as I listen.

[@allysontrethewey1970]

I have a great relationship (my husband is one in a million), but I still enjoy listening to you guys because it reminds me to take a little more action to keep it up and keep improving. Like any self-improvement effort, you need refreshers!

[@rikkiandjimmyonrelationships]

Love this Allyson!! So happy for you =)

[@allysontrethewey1970]

@@rikkiandjimmyonrelationships just want to add that the other day he did admit that he wanted to be touched a little more, not necessarily sexually. He’s such a pleaser that he rarely admits he wants more of something. But I took it in and I’m going to 100% act on that feedback! I’m mean that’s easy! Low-hanging fruit!

[@kalinin81]

It's always a great pleasure listening to your podcast and posts..keep doing the good work...☺️👍

[@rikkicloos]

Girish, I'm sincerely glad you're here. :*)

[@vanessafuchs1878]

I am obsessed with this new podcast. I can't wait for episode 4. I think we need an ig account or email list, something so we know when new episodes come out. And so I can repost it! Thank you!

[@JimmyonRelationships]

Thank you so much for this Vanessa!!! You’re right!! So smart.

[@rikkicloos]

Vanessa... episode 4 is OUT! Check it out on the Rikki and Jimmy on Relationships page. :*) Thank you for listening!

[@JimmyonRelationships]

@@rikkicloos

[@lindadeise4575]

the question on anxiety when my partner is going away as soon as you asked it, oh my gawd that is totally me.

[@glazedconfused8764]

You two are amazing!! Always take notes and implement to my relationship- thank you for the inspiration!!

[@brightpage1020]

Love Rikki's color changing mic! I'm ADHD. So it's cool to watch while we listen.

[@ash2824]

That’s not adhd tho - it’s normal ❤I think we are mislabeled a lot tbh- it’s trauma responses with most adhd

[@rikkicloos]

You're my people! ;-) I've also got a brain that needs a LOT of stimulation!!!

[@kathrynroemer3203]

"It takes two to fight".. nope one person can start a fight, and escalate themselves without the other doing or saying much or anything. Also even after walking away that escalated person can continue on; that escalated person can also decide it was your fault, and say that you were the one doing all the yelling or what have you; even though you were not even in the room because you walked out...

[@terrabillings2695]

Absolutely...been there. 🤗

[@aurelienyonrac]

So true. Some people fight in there head and hearts. They are divided. They are 2 or more so yes it takes 2 to fight. If you are one with the world, you are fighting and not fighting at the same time. Are you not already one with everything? Beliefe changes nothing, water is still wet. Denial is weak. It took 13.7 billion years to generate this state of fighting and separation. And it did not even happened. Its just delusion. We thought it was a snake that we saw in the alley, but all along, it was a rope.😅

[@abcisneros91]

So you are avoiding their feelings and conflict?

[@kathrynroemer3203]

@@abcisneros91 no he was and could be irrational, unreasonable, talks over you, raises his voice, can't get a word in.. so when you know this toxic situation and it starts.. the only course is to walk

[@joannakowalczyk5442]

Whatever they say applies to a relatively healthy relationship. The one you are talking about sounds like a toxic relationship, maybe even abusive one. Then, a couple like that should look into counselling 😊

[@erinjaa6653]

I love the humour you bring to these touchy subjects. Thank you for being open and honest about your own struggles. I am very hopeful that I can learn how to deal with my own anxious attachment style and be a better wife to my husband of almost 25 yrs.

[@racheldyan1986]

I get it Jimmy! The unresolved conflict statistic makes you lose a little bit of hope

[@robertpost4640]

You and your show are awesome, soon you will make it big time.

[@babblingbrooke1094]

My husband passed away 3 years ago, but something I did throughout our whole relationship when it came to things like being friends with men, or really just about anything I did on my own without him, I always asked myself, "How would it make me feel if he did the same thing?" We lasted 18 years until he died.

[@aarongarrison6466]

So I’m the man that’s more in touch with his emotions that y’all talk about. My wife has high functioning autism/asd. She’s the one that doesn’t show emotion. We get little time together because we have 3 kids. The kids sports take priority over me, work takes priority over me. There’s little to 0 emotional safety. My feelings never seem to matter or they just make her mad and upset. She says I’m controlling because i need time with her. I’m the anxious she’s the avoidant. I need quality time and touch. She needs acts of service. I try to cook everyday, help with house work, be understanding she’s always busy at work, understanding when she needs a little time to herself all to make her feel loved. I take the kids to all appointments (dr, braces, etc) then when I need some time, she says I’m too needy. There’s little intimacy or affection between us. I love her so much, I keep trying to make this work but it’s soul crushing most days and I feel like our marriage is supposed to run on cruise control and we should just be grateful for the little amount of time we get.

[@megancranford4247]

I love you guys so very much and watch/listen/learn/implement daily! However, as an English teacher I have to skip Rikki’s intro every time because, in her words, it low-key enrages me! 😂 When you have the opportunity, please have her fix her grammar to “like you and ME.” 😬💪🏼🙌🏼😘

[@sammyyo5817]

I'm really enjoying your channel, learning so much, appreciate you guys!

[@rikkiandjimmyonrelationships]

Thank you so much Sammy!

[@imjustanasshlesometimes3488]

Would love to see an episode on how grief (I recently lost my mom) affects relationships. My husband is great.... but the grieving is consuming me. We also have a 2 and 3 yr old that I stay home with... I know I'm picking fights and pushing him away (I'm also in therapy). I just feel like my world has been rocked.... and everyone else is fine.

[@user-si8ng3ei6w]

Hi Rikki and Jimmy, Your podcasts are amazing growth tools! Thank you for sharing💜 So my question is; My boyfriend of 20 months is avoidant and I am anxious. I’m 58 and he is 63. For about a year and a half I have asked to be introduced to his friends, and let’s do things with them and not just with my friends. He stated he doesn’t have friends so what that did was put me on the defense to have to prove that was not true by naming all of the friends and groups of friends that he has. That night ended with neither of us speaking for the night. Days later he tells me that he accepted a out of state wedding invitation to his good friends sons wedding. Yep, no mention of me being a plus one. After expressing my anxious thoughts, coupled with my hurt of not being included, he still chose to go to the wedding without me. Is it me and my anxious tight grip to control him and not want him to go without me or is this just the anxious/avoidant dynamics at work?

[@lynettejohnson9051]

Lack of quality time... lack of physical contact is causing distance.

[@brightpage1020]

Try making polite invitations or requests for your needs from body language positions of shoulder to shoulder or somehow facing the same direction - not pointed at one another or from across the table. Like sit on the porch swing together with a tea or beer or cocktail or wine... For a relaxing moment together...for a deep breath While the kids watch a movie or after they go to bed, if you can stay awake that long.

[@brightpage1020]

Or lemon water with blueberries or rasberries in it.. Or some other healthy version that makes it feel more special than just basic can o'soda so the moment can feel more special... Or light up the fire pit and ask them what they hope they could burn from the day. 😆

[@danadecore6872]

It hurts when HEEEEEEE doesn’t initiate! Or oh wait he doesn’t even notice WHEN I AMMMMM! Trust me I’m insanely FRUSTRATED! Talk about a turn OFF

[@JimmyonRelationships]

You’re absolutely right Dana, this can absolutely go both ways. I’m so sorry.

[@audralafuente7556]

I have heard it called the 80/20 rule. 80% of guys are wanting sex all the time, but there are 20% who don't really care. It's so frustrating to have a husband in the 20% and thinking to myself, "why am I so undesirable that I have the only husband that doesn't want sex". I stopped initiating all together. It definitely is a turn off.

[@MajorieRoyal]

I have a question. Something I never hear in the tips for couple.. what do you think of emotional responsability. Like, I believe that it's not always our partners fault omif we feel a certain way. Let's say I have some stuff from my mom that had hurt me etc and my partner can touch on the memory ... its important to take a breather and not just blame the other person before looking at why do I feel how I feel.

[@lynettejohnson9051]

I miss my person in my everyday life. What to do?

[@deanaskeen6710]

What do you do in the reverse situation? I'm the one begging for more sexual intimacy and have more often than not faced rejection from my husband in that way. I would love y'all to touch on that in the future.

[@brightpage1020]

How important is remembering that marriage wasn't invented to make us feel happy or to help us feel better or well or healthy or as an antecdote to our lives... It was not invented about feelings or because of romantic imagery about love. It may have been invented as a way to protect and promulgate economic wealth that would indirectly support the church (or temple or synagogue or mosque or place of worship) that supported the family producing offspring. That it is more than an emotional house. It's a societal responsibility. In the days of dissolving borders, fluid relationships, musn't we ask: Has society outgrown marriage or the need for that symbolic commitment? PS - unrelated - oh my word, Rikki, you poor girl - if you can do your man's laundry so wrong he separates his himself, I am so sorry 💔 the fact that you were doing it for him should be enough. That guy values perfectionist laundry more than your love? His loss - obviously - his loss. How much should the role of marriage be considered in society along with our roles and emotions within the marriage?

[@Pepperfam]

Just got into a fight because I didn’t do laundry correctly and he has told me so many times took it as disrespect and attacked me so badly. I reacted so now I’m getting the silent treatment he’s still mad almost been a week now.

[@catchyourstory]

Chad here, but feel free to call me frank

[@rikkicloos]

Hello, Chad/Frank! We're glad you're here. :)

[@deloreshinton2533]

What about when the woman is always the one that touches and makes the first move. And if she doesn’t they pout.

[@rikkiandjimmyonrelationships]

You're right, that would leave anyone feeling frustrated. I would prefer it to be far more mutual and instead of pouting for them to be able to share how they are actually feeling.

[@priscilladucharm-ferster2795]

She's not as fun to listen to as you guys are!