How to Fly the Pattern Without Making an #@$ of Yourself

For some reason, pilots often make a hash of flying the traffic pattern with especially nasty arguments over straight-in approaches. In this descent into animated madness, AVweb's Paul Bertorelli takes a humorous look at the issues.For Ercoupe and Mooney owners, the thin-skinned and the humorless, viewer discretion is advised. All others, Happy 2021!

[@zorkleplex5]

My teenage children who barely acknowledge my existence actually came to see what I was laughing so hard at!

[@roderickcampbell2105]

I believe it. One of the funniest video's I've ever seen. Paul at his best. Well I did love the "cheap pilot bastard" clip. And after all the humour and information, then great music. And closes with more dry humour. Long live Paul. I hope your children liked the video too.

[@spinnetti]

are all teens like that? I'm not sure mine are even alive. They only come out of their rooms for food. Next, how do I find an instructor that isn't a bitter old man who resents having to try to teach me?

[@venusreena2532]

@@spinnetti ... cant hurt to engage the teens.. dont wait for them to come to you..

[@autumnbeds]

@@spinnetti Any luck w/ the instructor?

[@ZhihengCao]

This is nothing to laugh at, it can cause instant death! In flying fire and mid air collision are the two things to be truly afraid of.

[@JustPlaneSilly]

Why have 50 people from my local airfield emailed me this video? Weird.

[@deeanna8448]

This channel is what led me to your channel

[@circuitmonkey6653]

BWAHAHA! "*Censored* traffic, Grum-Grum 7JB, 60m final, *Censored*"

[@dntower85]

Paul completely missed having SUV's driving on the north end of the airport. :)

[@romesprofitchannel7881]

0:41 Fast Win Money🎰 kzbin.info/www/bejne/f5LFeZ6Keq91fc0

[@safetyinstructor]

@@dntower85 don't joke about that. SUV drives are always in the right, never forget that.

[@FlyingNDriving]

I find the lack of cirrus parachute deployed animations in this completely disturbing and unrealistic!

[@flyyourdream9716]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

[@tropicthndr]

I wonder what the chute has been pulled for the most in the Cirrus, stalls to final or engine failures, because there’s a ton of both.

[@ganthrithor]

They probably didn't remove the arming pin on pre-flight.

[@charlesbranch4120]

There was a video uploaded by a Cirrus owner/pilot some years ago that was hilarious. Anytime he moved anything anywhere, the nagging alarming voice activated. "Are you sure you want to do that? Pull the parachute now!"

[@1mouseman]

Possibly the best KZbin comment in history

[@mattguthmiller]

This should be a part of all pilot training. A true masterpiece, Paul.

[@masonmax1000]

facts

[@whoisntwhoisit2126]

Your stuff is enjoyable to watch too, very nice bird you have as well, I am envious :) -- Blue Skies and happy flying!

[@jamesmiller8591]

This should be great stuff for a flight review don’t you think?

[@geraldmartsy2165]

My new year's resolution is don't disappoint Paul Bertorelli. He's the father I never had to constantly seek approval from.

[@wheelerdavea]

Loved seeing Car 54. Only us 79 year old pilots that can't hear will recognize it. Well done. Oh, and the FedEx truck taking out the UPS wing was classic. Thanks Paul.

[@terryboyer1342]

Dave Wheeler Where are you?

[@wheelerdavea]

@@terryboyer1342 Ou Ou!

[@182driver]

Don’t forget lake sully

[@77thTrombone]

I thought they took each other out. I guess since Dave can't hear he missed the tinkl of broken glass.

[@davidoickle1778]

I don’t know about that, I’m 75 and I got it.

[@safetyinstructor]

8:55 You know it's serious when the bring out the police Cub

[@dalgrim]

Surely you mean the Poliec Cub!

[@timstreetrealestate]

I'm wiping tears from my eyes, that was one of the greatest aviation segments I've seen - but the text at the end! Holy crap, straight out of the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That was some of the funniest shit I've seen in years, well done guys! Who know y'all would be able to bring such humor to an otherwise dry topic and yet teach me something anyway. Hot damn.

[@HectorWPadilla]

" We are not implying that Mooney owners are drug users. ( We're not implying they aren't either.) lol

[@winforworkgroups]

This animator needs a raise! (Oh right)

[@Ichinin]

Informative and hilarious. Didn't know that "Lake sully" existed :D Don't forget about the "Harrison Ford option" when landing. Btw all those cars intermixed with Air planes on the road reminds me of Microsoft Incursion Simulator 2020.

[@charlesbranch4120]

I know the Harrison Ford Option: Land where you know you'll find the doctors that will respond immediately Before the 19th Hole is preferable.

[@TheMarcball]

Not Disney level, but South Park level. Thanks for the inspiration and keep on trucking!

[@junqueboi387]

I hope you had as much fun making this as I did watching it.

[@geoffeg]

The amount of effort that went into making this video is impressive. Well done.

[@spurgear4]

I was practicing doing forced approaches once in the mighty cessna 152 and had my flaps stay fully down with the flap switch selected to the retract position. I made a straight in approach slightly below circuit altitude, I was the only one in the air because I lived in Nova Scotia, and no one cared.

[@kevinheard8364]

oh, wow... my wife is from Yarmouth :)

[@spurgear4]

@@kevinheard8364 I grew up in New Glasgow, been to Yarmouth a few times during the opening of the lobster fishery, I was a helicopter mechanic working search and rescue. The pub there was the red kight, or lion, your wife may remember.

[@captainkidd1234]

I’m in Nova Scotia. Have to agree with “and no one cared.” LOL

[@1mouseman]

Ricky and Bubbles care!

[@spurgear4]

@@1mouseman I miss Mr Lahey

[@BlaineNay]

This 11-minut video took 30 minutes to watch! (19 of them going through the credits/acknowledgement.) Nice job!

[@Skybusdriver]

I’m a Navy pilot and your channel is hilarious. This is a great refresher for me!

[@mbbyair]

Paul’s been in the eggnog again..::

[@cuteswan]

You folks have way too much fun with these things, always in great style. Thanks once again.

[@vsavatar]

Holy shit! I could literally not stop laughing for the last 3 minutes of the video, and that's after laughing my ass off for a good portion of it. This video is pure gold!

[@PelDaddy]

I don't know what the hell then end animation was, but it was oddly captivating, and now I want a margarita and some burritos.

[@eddiexoc8430]

Great video. Had to play 7:45 to the end several times. We definitely need to go outside & enjoy life.

[@lisabreuer6390]

I am pulling good videos for my school webpage to help the students with home study. Your pattern video is freaking awesome LOL!!! I love rule #2. We use that a lot at our airport too. Keep up the good work, I am going to look for more of your stuff.

[@sleektruck22]

Paul(s), I have got to say, y'all make the best aviation videos on the internet. Learn more here than I did in flight school and all made in a humorous yet comprehensible way. Keep up the good work!

[@FlyingNDriving]

"Annnnnnnnnd, any traffic please advise"

[@FlightSimHistorian]

Came for the thumbnail, stayed for the laughs!

[@charleslawson6824]

That was really terrific and, from 7:30 or so onward, absolutely hilarious! The only thing missing was a little running figure charging into the crops for “protection” from the duster. Thanks for that needed cheery start to 2021. Here’s hoping we all get to fly more!

[@JoseRivera-lt2cc]

Smiled start to finish. Have experienced all of the examples ... of course all by others except for my one very own NORDO at uncontrolled home base. Luckily (?), radio issue transpired midway transiting Class Bravo airspace. Better news, using transponder ident with controller notifying I could hear, I was informed no traffic reported at field. Still, my head went into beacon mode - swiveled 360 until on ground & parked with engine off. Thanks for sharing your sense of humor approach to very serious issues. Much appreciated. Happy New Year.

[@MichaelAhlers]

Far and away, the most informative and useful instructional content for aviation I’ve found.

[@UAL1kFlyer]

Totally epic. A great way to start the year.

[@yanDeriction]

Avweb makes the best aviation videos hands down. Other channels may have slick production, this channel has the SOUL!

[@WilliamsWings]

That paramotor hitting lines was hilarious. Flew them for years and it's true! Can't see the lines and were usually flying low...

[@vincentbaelde-millar670]

Paul: This isn't disney Also Paul: Animates a 5 minute cartoon showing aircraft landing on freeway.

[@alanjwalker249]

Absolutely genius. A very funny look at a serious topic. The animation at the end was Monty Pythonesque. Great work and the funniest aviation content I have seen in a long time.

[@MrMartinglob]

I'm working my way through all your videos - and damn you're good! Important stuff told with humor and great irony. Love it! New fan from Denmark

[@ClintonRyanThompson]

Love it! Happy 2021!

[@kycsip3066]

Instant classic! This is awesome!

[@autorepairexpert]

Thanks Paul & Crew. Another fun and informative video.

[@JE-dv2ms]

This was awesome and should count as my BFR. I would like to take this opportunity to plug a few things. 1) if you're post licensing, keep you patterns tighter, I don't want to be 2.5 miles abeam.the numbers. For all the students out there, do what you instructor tells you to do, even if they are wrong. 2) We should allow straight ins into the downwind like ICAO does. 3) The overhead is an ideal entry pattern. 4) Oval racetrack patterns within 3/4 of a mile are the gold standard of pattern flying.

[@aethon6335]

One of the best videos on the Tube. Thank you for sharing.

[@pilotsharkshanger9182]

Happy New Year! what a great little light heart video with real meaning. Lake Sully nice touch. Thanks Pilotshark out

[@glennstocker487]

I haven't laughed this much since the road runner animations! just gold, thank you Paul great effort.

[@jonathanshirer2395]

Brilliant. Just because flying is serious business, it doesn't mean it can't be funny. Which you prove all the time, Paul.

[@jamesrunnels2399]

The best thing I've seen in a long time. Or at least this year so far.

[@johnlibra7734]

So well written! Great graphics. Excellent,

[@michaelwiggins3663]

This made me laugh more than any TV level production in years...and was still highly informative. All training should be done this way

[@benhammond6717]

This is one of the best aviation videos on the internet hands down.

[@M0ToR]

Brilliant! Happy New Year! 🙂🥂

[@ajofscott]

OMG thanks PAul for that closing animation! I will be chuckling for days!

[@TheBullethead]

I think this vid is provides the highest level of good info combined with witty snark of any in the sainted halls of AVweb. Brilliant!

[@dtvconsult]

“Car 54, where are you?” Love the reference!

[@tonygunn6920]

Great video ... and yes, a 79 year old in a Nordo Ercoupe came in below me on base. Fortunately my instructor was with another student in the pattern, saw it and requested I immediately go missed approach... accident avoided.

[@bhi7165]

I demand, uh, respectfully and admirably request, more videos from Paul.

[@rolandocrisostomo2003]

Very nice graphics. No complaints here. And the information is priceless.

[@nickhart5332]

Love it! Happy new year Paul!

[@MrSixstring2k]

Very informative and hilarious, I actually was hoping for more.

[@iflycentral]

I'm happy I'm not the only one with that impression of Ercoupe pilots.

[@andyhunter1208]

Paul informative as ever, but also hilarious more like this please.

[@shippo72]

Well, I can tell someone had WAY too much fun making the ending animation.

[@B1970T]

I loved the Fedex truck tearing off the wingtip of the UPS plane. I hope that didnt delay any vaccine deliveries. Lol! This was so hilarious! Keep it up!

[@aviation3530]

I love all your videos, this one is particularly hysterical. Too many pause and rewinds to count. The only thing missing was an Airbus being decorated with Christmas 🎄 decorations while on final. 2020

[@bujablaster]

Great and very funny video and animation :). Laughed a lot through whole video. Thanks and wish you health and luck in 2021! :)

[@DColcla]

Classic! Love this video and the narrator!

[@teamground0229]

Paul, I love the dry sense of humor. The animation to the spicy music very funny!

[@gstone3148]

OMG!!!! I laughed so damn hard this is so great!!! I just love these vids!!!🤣😂

[@FatGuyInaTruck]

The FedEx truck clipping the wing of the UPS plane was a nice touch.

[@earlfoss99]

Another great video from Paul!

[@1mouseman]

Awesome video,your channel and Juan’s are must watch aviation YT.

[@Lawson8330]

Love this video! By far my favorite training video lol.

[@SmokingBeagles]

The animation at the end is truly hilarious, the mariachi band was a nice touch

[@adrianpad]

ROFLMAO the animation at the end LAKE SULLY XD HAHAHAHAHA OMG so many gems in it!

[@oltimer5544]

Hey Paul, I got a traffic pattern story about your home port at Venice. We were approaching from the northwest off the coast in a Gulfstream G280. Local traffic was using runway 23 (rwy 24 at the time) with numerous training aircraft in the pattern. At the time, I think runway 23 was slightly less than 5000', which was our minimum length (OPS Manual), and runway 13 was over 5000'. So it made more sense for us to go straight in on runway 13, even though it crosses runway 23. We maneuver at a minimum of about 150 KIAS in the pattern, so it didn't seem like a good idea for us to enter a downwind for 23, where we would quickly overtake any Cessnas or Cherokees doing 80 KIAS in the pattern; or a little yellow J3 Cub flying at at little better than a fast walk. So we made no less than 5 calls on final, at every mile or so, and then again on short final as we approached 13. All looked good at that point; no planes on final, both runways clear. Then a dual instruction Cherokee starts a takeoff roll on 23. I again announced our position and asked him to abort, which he did. He then advised us that local traffic was using runway 23. (sigh). In my most sarcastic voice, I advised him that we could have landed on runway 23, but then we might have ended up on the beach. I still think we did the right thing. Because of the vast speed differences and the larger patterns, a lot of bizjets will do straight in approaches at uncontrolled fields. The quicker the jets land and are out of the pattern, the better for everyone concerned.

[@TCPUDPATM]

This was marvelously done!!

[@Aerospace_Education]

This was awesome!! Might be the best traffic pattern educational video out there.

[@mikelong9638]

Truthfully one of the best traffic pattern videos I've ever watched. Most just regurgitate the language in the AIM. It also made me laugh so hard that I spit coffee all over my computer screen.

[@rceric1]

This video made my day, thank you!

[@Steeyuv]

Mine too, and I’m under EASA rules.

[@marklawton1795]

Best entertainment ever ! Do more please. 🎉. Love my Mooney - don’t do drugs. 😂

[@TheAirplaneDriver]

Laughed my ass off the whole time I watched this! Loved seeing officers Muldoon and Toody standing by in Car 54. Great job! I’m guessing the 42 people that gave it a thumbs down are pilots that really need to pay attention to what you are trying to say. Or, maybe they are all FAA employees?

[@Yak54PR]

Men Paul your videos are the best, even on cheap Animation Mode.. Happy new year, and if you are by any chance down to Puerto Rico we have 2 Cubs down here to have fun with..

[@N412BE]

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh to start a better year!

[@RustyCoon]

You guys have outdone yourselves. Good show!!

[@sam-545]

LMAO for the finale! Thank you I appreciate this informative video!

[@SIGINT007]

The highway landing sequence is gold. I had to watch it twice to pick out all the nuances.

[@JohnF732]

That put me in a badly needed good mood. Thanks, Paul...

[@RyanVoight]

this is fantastic. Thank you!

[@kevinabeard6904]

Thanks, Paul. Needed a laugh.

[@captainjj7184]

OMG the chaos brings back memories at one civil-military joint airfield where tower cease to exist at exactly 17:00 and suddenly everyone spawned in and out at the same time... amazing nobody died each day. Btw the ending had me dying on the floor and is truly a masterpiece, love it! Great job!

[@Kimoto504]

This would have been so boring with high dollar animation. It's 100% perfect.

[@1972C182]

Brilliant. And that Car 54 reference tremendous--now that is knowing one's target audience.

[@TroyWhistman]

Paul, your best work yet! Even made me laugh harder than anything my friend Bryan Turner @JustPlaneSilly has made. (Could be “former friend” after he reads this). Also at 8:13, the Mooney pilot’s passenger bent over the police car appears to be prepped for a Field Cavity Search (TM). Add the new overhead descending teardrop entry, and I would have believed everything you said, but now I know it’s a parody!

[@AnonyMous-jf4lc]

I watched this when I was doing ground school, before I had any real experience in the air. I didn't want to be the ahole, so I studied up. I'm coming back to this now with a full understanding of why this warranted it's own video. I would say only about half of the people I encounter at untowered fields make the appropriate calls and entries. About an eighth are a serious hazard. Every single time I've had to take a drastic evasive measure, some ahole was in the wrong place going the wrong way right at pattern altitude with no or vague position reports. Heck, just this week I was departing a runway and had someone just passing through decide to fly pattern altitude and call crosswind just as I was climbing out. Wouldn't seem like too big of a deal except they were going the wrong direction and flying towards the runway, so instead of being on a left crosswind for 18, they were on a right base for 36. I realized this as I was looking for the traffic and saw it heading to intersect me. Arrest the climb, drop a few hundred feet, and watch them buzz 350' overhead. Yeah, not cool. When called out, they played it off as no big deal. They weren't even landing there, just passing through. MIDFIELD at least 500' over pattern!!!!!!

[@MegaMech]

Wow... That ending... avweb hilarious as always.

[@jetdoctn]

I found out a while back that its great using your radio in the traffic pattern but its really great to be on the right frequency when your using your radio in the traffic pattern.

[@PuppyDogPilot]

Another great one, Paul!

[@182driver]

Well I have never seen a video like this...... loved it... basic information is correct and adapted to the Aussie way... it made me laugh all the way to the control tower ! Well done

[@UncleWiggy252]

I always admire the guy on a straight in final at 4 miles who says "Cessna blah blah blah on left downwind runway ___". Then at a 2 mile final says "Cessna blah blah blah left base ___". Eventually he, of course, tells the truth on final after everyone else has had their head on a swivel for the last five minutes. In the end no one is terribly surprised to finally see a Warrior pull off the runway!

[@PeteDriver530]

thank you for a video that was both educational AND entertaining! :)

[@jeffohmart7053]

Do you have a law enforcement background? This is made in the same spirit as many, many officer-made "training" videos. Love it!

[@simeon2851]

2020 improved Paul Bertorelli's language and updated his sarcasm.

[@fivestringslinger]

Thanks for the good lesson and the even better laugh.