How to Gain Freedom from Porn & Masturbation | LITTLE BY LITTLE | Fr Columba Jordan CFR

Pornography and masturbation: they're uncomfortable to talk about, but we need to have this conversation. If you struggle with either or both of these, you know they can lead to shame and addiction - but God wants so much better for us. Fr Columba discusses Confession, accountability partners, knowing your triggers, finding alternatives, helpful resources and, ultimately, how to gain freedom.
Episode Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
1:05 Turn On the Light
1:39 "This Is Me Without You"
2:58 Confession: The Trash Heap
4:39 Accountability Partners
5:02 Shame (Bad), Guilt (Good)
7:07 Know Your Triggers
8:09 Find Alternatives
9:01 Resources
10:18 Patience, Without Excuses
10:48 St Augustine
11:42 Like & Subscribe!
🔴 LINKS
Exodus 90: exodus90.com/
Fiat 90: fiat-90.com/
Victory by Matt Fradd: bit.ly/3X0L9qV
Fight the New Drug: fightthenewdrug.org/
Covenant Eyes: www.covenanteyes.com/
🔴 THIS SERIES
Little by Little | Episode #91
Little by Little is a weekly video series by Called to More in collaboration with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. Our host, Fr Columba Jordan CFR, brings you quality Catholic content with new episodes every Thursday at 6pm GMT. Be sure to subscribe!
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[@ctmcatholic]

You'll find links in the video description to the resources mentioned by Fr Columba.

[@kennethbeal]

Thank you, a friend needed this and it arrived in front of me, just in time. Neat how that works! God bless in Jesus name.

[@tony1685]

i chose this page to address you since it's pertaining to sin, Sir. while i totally agree with the porn and masturbation being sin - you have to remember - sin is transgression of God's law - 1 John 3:4 therefore, when this 'church' ignores Exodus 20:4-6 and makes and bows to idols, statues, body parts - it's promoting sin. when this 'church' ignores Exodus 20:8-11, which proves the 7th day Sabbath is the Lord's day, not the 1st day - it's promoting sin. it just doesn't get any more clear and undeniable than that, Sir. please repent, turn from your ways and start to teach and follow Truth - God's Truth. thanks for reading, Sir.

[@m_v_j]

I've been an atheist my entire life, and fighting the addiction since my early teenage years. Recently I experienced a massive setback and I was at a really low point. Then I stumbled upon this channel and started watching some of your videos. They helped me a lot and made me actually try and reach out to God. Since then I've had a lot of success and just been a happier person overall. It feels like I've found this place of boundless love and light within me, that I know even in the darkest moment, I can always go to. Thank you for what you do, and God bless you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Dear @Villum, we are humbled and delighted to hear the channel has been a help to you in some way. God is clearly calling you to Him and so wonderful to hear you’ve been answering and finding peace and happiness in drawing closer to Him. Hope you keep in touch, we’d love to hear more from you. Blessings, friend.

[@tds2070]

This is beautiful.

[@Giygas-c5n]

This warms my heart.

[@timboslice980]

Praise god! How fortunate to stumble on this channel!

[@SoylentFoods]

After 25 years stuck in this sin, I realized porn destroyed human dignity/life through human trafficking and devalued my spouse. I didn't want to participate in enabling this, so I made a resolution to stop. It was a battle. I finally stopped after starting to pray the rosary daily with a meditation focusing on the 2nd sorrowful mystery. Two weeks later, temptations decreased significantly (from dozens of times a day to a few times a week). Free for 6-7 months now and tempted 1-2 times a month now which are easy to push aside.

[@kentd4762]

Congratulations! Our Immaculate Mother is so helpful with this.

[@anthonyw2931]

wow. this is actually a miracle. Thank you for sharing.

[@MrCheesywaffles]

Thanks be to God, may your good success endure to a happy death!

[@roadsailor1221]

Same here. Been back to the faith for 2 years and been an addict for 30. The rosary has helped me so much along with going to TLM. We will win through Him!

[@henrysharpe9976]

@@roadsailor1221 YES! I'm still on this journey, but I started praying the rosary daily, and then I began to realize that I was relapsing much less frequently, and when I did it was the days I hadn't prayed the rosary yet for some reason. Our Lady will free her children! Gloria in excelsis Deo!

[@ChicagoIL50]

This is the dirty little secret. Confession, every week if possible, delivers us from this. TONS of grace to get past this. 🙏🏻 For anyone going through this, seriously.

[@ctmcatholic]

Regular confession is so important!

[@iamterico]

Confession is necessary, but by itself not enough. Most men watching porn have a full blown addiction, although the natural tendency is to deny it. When there is addiction, you need rehabilitation. Catholic men addicted to sex often use Confession in hope it will magically disappear. Feel good after the Confession, and 2-3 days later the acting out returns, that's when you know it's an addiction. A recovery way of life and program will lead you to freedom and holiness. This is a serious issue, it's in the brain, it progresses, at par or worse to alcoholism and drug abuse. If untreated, will destroy you.

[@PaxIesus]

I really appreciate this video. It comes during November, which is the month a lot of us men are TRYING to break the habit of porn and masturbation. It is...good for us to hear this message, not only as a reminder to flee sin, but a reminder that our Father loves us and gave us guilt so that we could live rightly with Him. I will be quoting "This is me without You" often now, as well as "Freedom from sin is only the beginning of freedom." Thank you, sir.

[@ctmcatholic]

Very glad you found this helpful, we are praying for you and your freedom!

[@PaxIesus]

@@dionoconnell8973 [deep belly laugh] Oh, the reason is QUITE apparently.

[@GaetanoLetiziaMusic]

The problem with confessing porn while your addicted is that you know you’re going to sin again until you finally realize it’s killing you and the porn stars. It has no end until it damages you and your relationships and it’ll never satisfy you. It always wants more. You’re its slave. A great priest made me face that. And then I read books on the horrors of the porn industry. And with much prayer, Jesus freed me.

[@lexodius]

Totally free for more than 5 years now. The sacraments are what saved me. I never imagined I would be free of it after years and years of addiction, but becoming catholic did the trick quite unexpectedly. I wanted to share this for someone who doesn't believe it's possible. There is hope: Jesus saved me and He can do it for you too! It wasn't a road to damascus moment, it took some time for me too, but it happened. May God bless you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Praise God! Thank you for sharing.

[@jouzelfeather-pelt7686]

A year for me. Thanks for the inspiration. The evil one is still trying to pull me back. So annoying.

[@lexodius]

@@jouzelfeather-pelt7686 you're worth it and the devil is boring.

[@oyveydetoymeny]

Been struggling, did better, fell again. I know the 5 « R » method : Recognise, Repent, Reject, Resist, Replace. God is present even in these moments we do fall. I’ve watched interviews of people involved in the industry on how they came to it. So many stories of abuse, brokenness, addiction, childhood trauma. I’m doing better in the sense I know when it is about to happen and I am no longer hypnotised by it. Shame is a double edged sword. Thank you brother for addressing this sensitive issue.

[@ctmcatholic]

Very interesting method. Thanks for sharing!

[@davidtombs7385]

Father, I have to say that as a retired Psychiatrist this is an excellent video. With a practical, useful behavioural approach that can be used by all for many things not just this subject. Thank you.

[@ctmcatholic]

That’s great to hear, thank you.

[@MrCheesywaffles]

This conversation takes courage, thank you for this video. We live in an era of dehumanization, where the young in particular are targeted and used as if they were objects. May God have mercy on us.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for watching!

[@drinkwater4549]

This is exactly what we need to hear. Thank you, Father!

[@ctmcatholic]

You’re welcome.

[@kentd4762]

Using Fr. Gaitley's book and 33 day consecration to our Immaculate Mother would help tremendously, too: "33 DAYS TO MORNING GLORY" is the name of the book.

[@ctmcatholic]

Good recommendation!

[@danclancy5319]

I've been struggling to break this addiction for the past three months. Thank you Father for shinning a light on this! God bless all my brothers and sisters in Christ who are also struggling.

[@ctmcatholic]

Praying for you, Dan. You’re strong and God’s stronger. You’ve got this. God bless 🙏

[@MajorTom546]

Long-time porn addict for as long as I can remember. One blessed moment in May 2023 I had the pleasure of watching Search at our parish, and in one of the episodes was about life after dead and NDEs, and I got spooked; in particular, by life reviews. The thought of having a watch party next to Jesus of my sinful moments horrified me. I dropped everything in a day - I went pretty much cold turkey. Never looked back. I thank God everyday for that. I went to confession, and as Fr Columba said, the priest didn't make a big deal out of it and instead my confessor was so happy that I had the courage to run to Jesus for forgiveness. If you're still on the fence, I'm praying for you that may God grant you the grace that you need to overcome your weaknesses. Jesus, have mercy on us sinners.

[@samanthalewis1791]

BHALT 😂😂 That's a good one!!! But so true! Sometimes it's just boredom that gets us into such terrible situations. Thank you Fr. for sharing this. Another thing that really helped me here is the 33 Days to Morning Glory self-retreat! It's an amazing experience and I truly feel the protection of our dear Mother in these situations. I really encourage all to do it. God bless 🙏

[@kabhijith8902]

Yes .. another book by the same author ( fr Micheal gaitley) called " consoling the heart of Jesus, do it yourself retreat book" talks about trusting the heart of Jesus when ever there are attachments.. Trust, trust, trust the heart of Jesus..

[@samanthalewis1791]

@@kabhijith8902 Amen! Will definitely check it out 🙏 Thanks 😊

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for the suggestion, Samantha!

[@ctmcatholic]

Great book!

[@samanthalewis1791]

@@ctmcatholic 🙏😀

[@Martin-id1ri]

Well, I need a countability partner!, it's getting worse and I can't stand going back in circles, it hurts bad and the devil inflicts me when am down, it's true I been thinking about opening up to someone asking for help, i didn't do it probably because i am prideful and afraid about people's judgments, I can't even discern about my vocation with this in the way, am almost 26 and I want freedom, pray for me!

[@anthonyw2931]

it's hard, man. But it's common among us. I'm nearly 50 and I still struggle with it. If you have to find someone, find someone who is going through it as well.

[@animula6908]

Try some deliverance prayers. They help you get more advantage over the demons that influence this stuff so you can then just have your own mind and body to deal with. Over time it’s helping me fight some things that are just as plaguing and destructive (I’m trying to quit vaping), and see if you can either get a side hustle or volunteer somewhere because what he says about boredom and loneliness is true. Guys who enlist tell me they never knew they could quit until they had to for basic training. Don’t let anybody make you give up on yourself. God bless you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Dear Martin, know you are not alone and an accountability partner could be very helpful to root out shame (not guilt, but shame) and break the habit. Also bringing the sin to confession as regularly as possible - that is, as soon as possible after a fall. Praying for you, for your freedom, and your discernment.

[@ctmcatholic]

Love this advice, thank you for sharing.

[@mariebrett2179]

Someone above said a friend overcame this by saying the rosary every day and found meditating on the 2nd sorrowful mystery very helpful also

[@hogandonahue9598]

I needed this! Thankyou Father Columba! God truly blessed you with wise words! Glory to God.

[@ctmcatholic]

Glad it was helpful!

[@brianfarley926]

My priest a while ago told me to stop confessing it and to keep taking the Eucharist. Been a bit conflicted on that one since then. Felt like I couldn’t take the Eucharist unless I first confess to now it’s more like confession every 4-6 months, regular prayer and receiving the Eucharist. Just is a bit off to be honest. So going back to confession this week. We’re at a new Church because we moved. Not trying to bash my old Priest, really liked him he baptized my daughter and we got married in the Church with him as our Priest but I don’t think he helped me on that one. Perhaps I’m wrong. He went with the Eucharist is for the sick so keep doing it

[@hogandonahue9598]

@@brianfarley926 from what I have seen your priest is half right. When it comes to venial sins like masturbation, constant confession is just problematic and not good for you or the priest. There are videos out there on confession that explain this in more detail. Sadly I don't remember them off the top of my head.

[@sstartend]

Thanks for the video fr. Been struggling in this area of sin for a long time, though through prayers, confession, the intensity has reduced. I pray that the Lord be merciful to me and help me and many others struggling in this area.

[@ctmcatholic]

Bless you and your fight for freedom.

[@corneliaadolfsson9379]

"Under your nose"😂 So important too talk about this! And I love that you break the silence with such wonderful humour in all seriousness! Thank you Father!❤😃

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks for watching.

[@xrendezv0usx]

Shame makes me feel like my sins are a core part of my true spiritual identity. The grace of God teaches me that my sins are NOT who I am nor how God created me. He created my soul to be beautiful and holy and perfect through Christ. The Holy Spirit convicts our hearts toward righteousness, but shame is from the enemy and it drives us to hide ourselves from God and seek comfort in the secret shadows of our sin. Thank you for this much needed content. Nourishing food as always!

[@ctmcatholic]

All very true! Glad you found the video helpful 🙏

[@rushthezeppelin]

I still thank God for the massive grace he gave me five years ago to completely walk away from porn right before I started my conversion. For anyone wishing He would give you the same grace, remember that He allows you to suffer with this is because you actually have the strength to do so. He knew I needed that extraordinary grace because I didn't have the strength. Not that I don't have sins He allows me to struggle with. Anyone out there fighting this addiction, know that I'm praying for you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for sharing!

[@thecatholicman]

I would just add for men to do a Power to Choose: Twelve Steps to Wholeness programme that many men in Ireland are doing (me included). Confession is good, but important to go to the root and to analyse our defects. I highly recommend that men talk out their problems and to help other men.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks for the recommendation! Support and accountability are key.

[@neilpemberton4652]

I love the way you approach topics Father. With compassion and humour, but without reducing the importance of the subject. Thank you and God bless you 🙏

[@ctmcatholic]

You are very welcome. God bless you!

[@VienasKunasIrVienaDvaisa]

For those really struggling with this, and then ending up hating themselves, loosing motivation and falling again and again. My little advice is: 1. First, you have to deeply comprehend this addiction and what it does, before hiding your computer or deleting apps. Because without a real comprehension - hiding your apps will work only for a week or month. You need to Reflect deeply. Now reflect on how you felt at the bottom of this addiction, the moment when you feel completely ashamed, not able to resist the temptation, when it works against your will, the moment when you loose all the motivation, almost giving up on life. This state of struggle, pain, disappointment in yourself. Remember this when the temptation comes - remember that it Will 100% leave you broken and lost again. Remember that it will bring a Chaos in your mind. You will feel miserable, not in control of your life. Remember the end product. And tie it together - this temptation satisfied equals your mind in chaos, and great pain. 2. Remember your spiritual goals, look at the lives of Saints to inspire you, reflect on how you can and should become holy. Reflect on the fullness and equilibrium you feel in the presence of God. Instead of internal chaos - you have a sharp, vast, peaceful and clear mind. 3. Cross. We as Christians should study more about the meaning of the cross. Understand that the cross is a part of a Christians life, we sacrifice, we die. Seek the lower place. - meaning sacrifice your desire, it is better to bear the pain of this sacrifice than to give up and let the Chaos reign. Don't run away from pain. Pain - is a beautiful thing. When it is conscious and in the name of God. To bear a great Pain for denial of the sin - is a cross. Its a beautiful cross. Be with your pain, your cross, and remember Christ. God - is always with you. 4. When you practice chastity long enough - you will forget these temptations, so don't worry. The day of peace will eventually come. I'm talking from my own experience. These temptations that you fight tooth and nail right now.. If you persevere long enough - they be almost irrelevant for you in the future. Instead of burning temptation - there will be peace and understanding. But first - you have to Comprehend it deeply. Reflect. for a dog returns to his vomit. right? Yet, once you comprehend it deeply, and persevere the temptation will not burn you like before and you will Know - if i go there - i Will end up in a deep mud, with a chaotic mind, much worse than before, so - there is no way i could go there. Now i try to share this strategy from my own experience. I live alone for many, many years now. Gave up on this addiction, but struggled really hard in the past. I noticed that it was probably The Most destructive one for a spiritual path.

[@ctmcatholic]

This is incredibly solid advice, thank you so much for taking the time to share. Praise God for your freedom!

[@heathsavage4852]

Very timely. And excellent as always. The issue I found is that the state education system actively encourages sexual activity and deviance, and those of us who worked in youth mental health (as I did for many years) are shouted down if we suggest chastity as a solution! We are all called to chastity unless called to the sacrament of marriage. We forget that, and the world encourages us to forget that.

[@ctmcatholic]

It’s a very sad situation but we must keep speaking truth. So many people are desperately seeking it.

[@DistributistHound]

Thanks for talking about this father! I strongly recommend Theology of the body 🙌 as well. In few words, it talks about why God created as bodily souls and in particular the purpose of sexuality in creation and how it can help us love instead of use ourselves and others regardless if we are male, female, single, married, consecrated etc. We tend to think there are only 2 ways repression or indulge(addiction) but there is a third way to live our sexuality as God intended

[@ctmcatholic]

Great recommendation!

[@dialogos585]

Amen! Theology of the body is truly the answer to re-sacralize bodily union between spouses and to excite those who want to have holy love in its proper place. Thank you for speaking to it.

[@terryallen3904]

“I was cheeky to my Mother and I was shaving a cat”! 😂 I love you Fr Columba! Thank you for making this kind of content.

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome!

[@dialogos585]

Thank you as always dear Fr Columba. I am an accountability partner for a friend and I'm always accepting and encouraging to him and proud of him for taking steps to stop his 20yr addiction. He only confessed this behaviour to me a couple years ago and luckily he did become a Catholic in the meantime. He goes to confession, but feels that telling me has a bigger impact on his progress. While I'm solid in God and want to be a good influence on this man, sometimes I struggle (with feelings of disgust) hearing about his failures, and don't understand how anyone could be continuously attracted to it, especially after knowing the harm it does. I ask God to guide me but I wonder if I am not suited for this role, or if there are resources to help people like me to process being the soundboard for such things.

[@ctmcatholic]

Hi @castidi, it’s wonderful to hear how you have been able to be such a rock for your friend. I understand it’s not always easy, and perhaps maybe you should speak to a priest or a spiritual director about the difficulties you’re facing in being his soundboard? If hearing of his sins isn’t causing you to fall into sin and it is helping him get closer to freedom, it would be great if you could keep going. However, if hearing his sin is ever tempting you to fall in sexual sin also, then I would say that role definitely isn’t working out and perhaps he needs to find someone else to talk to. If it’s just the judging you’re struggling with I’d say that’s quite normal but definitely try to root it out, again hopefully by speaking to a priest or spiritual director who will have lots of experience with this. Bless you, friend!

[@dialogos585]

@@ctmcatholic Thank you so kindly. Your response has helped me identify more precisely what the issue is. I'm not in any danger of falling into sexual sin (God thankfully didn't make me susceptible to that), nor judgement, I am unconditionally supportive of my friend. It's more that I am now exposed to unsavory ideas/imagery that I wouldn't have otherwise and I fall into despair knowing that even someone as good as my friend is controlled by it. If even he fails to guard against it, how can those without a relationship to God have any chance? I have asked for guidance from my priest, and will continue to let God sturdy me. Thank you for addressing the issue and how your ministry constantly uplifts us. I pray everyone who wants to get free of this will do so. It's a long and painful process. The sooner you start, the better chance you have.

[@mariebrett2179]

Read the comment above from Gotu s2 , he says praying the rosary helped him and meditating on the 2nd sorrowful mystery helped. Maybe your friend would find help in doing this also.

[@Curious-traveler]

Thanks for your openness and bringing to the light 💡

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome.

[@anthonyw2931]

the intro!!!😂😅😂...especially when you looked up to see if there will be retribution!!!😂🤣😂

[@ctmcatholic]

😁

[@maxheinrichliebow]

A fantastic video. And its no easy habit to break, and its a journey.... even with heavy determination and prayer, it took MONTHS of (often) daily confession to eventually grind that sin and vice to a halt. The end result is fantastic and actually changes you as a person for all the right/good reasons! Fraternal Greetings!

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for sharing your story of freedom! Glad you thought the video was helpful. Blessings, brother!

[@XereNak]

Thank you so much for this.

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome!

[@snokehusk223]

Thank you for this video.

[@ctmcatholic]

You're very welcome.

[@CaptGiboo]

What a blessing your videos have been (not just this one). I guess the KZbin algorithm sometimes does a good job. :) Please keep me in your one minute decade prayers 😊 God bless you!

[@nekelly123]

Thank you for bringing up this subject, Fr. I know from experience that a solid prayer life is essential in order to avoid sin. When I/we abandon prayer, sin creeps in. When we feel the temptation to sin, let us call on our Blessed Mother to protect us because she is most powerful in banishing demons. God bless you and your work, Fr. Columba! 🙏

[@ctmcatholic]

That’s incredibly true, Noel, thank you for making that point. And bless you!

[@mariebrett2179]

Very important subject these days. Thank you for covering it. This needed to be addressed

[@ctmcatholic]

Very happy to do so, thanks for the encouragement Marie.

[@cwstreeper]

Thank you for this good word.

[@ctmcatholic]

You are so welcome.

[@fightforeire3209]

Thanks Father I've just admitted to myself within the couple days that it's an addition and having a very serious impact on my life, I've asked God for help and we are working on it together , so this upload just dropped when I needed it, thank you and God Bless all the way from the North of Ireland . God Bless.

[@ctmcatholic]

I hope some of the advice is helpful. There are links in the description for the various resources mentioned. God bless you in your struggle for freedom. Stay close to God and he will set you free.

[@fightforeire3209]

@@ctmcatholic THANKYOU , and Mother Mary with you and everyone who is leading and saving us .

[@charlief.]

Thank you for discussing this topic, Father. God bless you.

[@ctmcatholic]

No problem, thanks for watching!

[@paulthompson4332]

The shame cycle, that vicious circle of "sexual thoughts", so easy to dwell on them, a sort of release, then comes the masturbating. The thoughts are tough....if I can stop the dwelling on sexual thoughts, the masturbating will not follow Thank you for this Praise Jesus

[@bencarter6702]

Thanks Col! This is me without you is brilliant. I've struggled on and off with the lure of the wrong stuff online over more than 20 years. I still do at times. Good to know God is great at offering and providing full freedom.

[@ctmcatholic]

You're welcome, Ben. Thanks for being so honest. Will be sure to pray for you and that struggle.

[@Jasiel.95]

Thank you for this. I’ve had a terrible week / month with this issue so I’m going to work on this hour by hour for the rest of the week. Keep myself busy. Don’t allow the temptation to rise from boredom.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for your honesty. There are some resources in the video description that can help. We’ll be sure to pray for you especially this week, Jasiel. May God bless you!

[@RAFAELLO077]

it is a fight many men do not even know they need to have

[@ctmcatholic]

Amen

[@thecatholicman]

Excellent video!

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you very much!

[@LostArchivist]

This is awesome and are all excellent suggestions father! I also think that remembering the other people such as models, filmers, financiers, artists etc, they are also beloved by God and locked up by sin. Pray for them instead of watching if specific things come up, press you, or if you want to go farther in your repentance and rehabiliation of your vision of every person as someone God wishes to be as His beloved child.

[@ctmcatholic]

This is important to remember.

[@craiggillies6228]

Thank you father

[@ctmcatholic]

Bless you, Craig.

[@michaelphillips5786]

Oh fr. You made me laugh with your hilarious intro !🤣 A good laugh introducing this particular subject matter is fantastic! One of my hero's of the faith , the great ar archbishop Fulton Sheen was gifted with comedic timing and a wonderful sense of humor. What a beautiful human being he was.. Fr. Your in good company is one of the things I'm saying. Thank you from the bottom of my heart..

[@ctmcatholic]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@jimchandler6065]

Thank You, Father, for this video and the help for men of the world struggling. Reconciliation is the answer; as you said, say it first and avoid it. This is the most uplifting of my spirit. Then make a firm commitment to change my life.

[@ctmcatholic]

God bless you, Jim.

[@gplil1]

Thank you Fr Columba for your courage and honesty speaking on this subject. I was in a marriage with someone who had these addiction it was destructive and became abusive. 🙏✝️🙏

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks, Gail. Very sorry to hear that, these addictions can be very destructive for the one involved and those around them. Sorry to hear you were caught up in it. Bless you.

[@hobes9]

This is great. If anyone is wondering whether or not Covenant Eyes is effective or if you really need an accountability partner. You do. It’s frightening at first but you’ll wish you had done it sooner.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for your insight!

[@williams.carpenter2362]

I struggle with these sins daily. Thank you father.

[@ctmcatholic]

You’re welcome, William. Praying for you and your freedom.

[@compellingbutforgettable903]

God bless you for talking about this Father. Pornography and masturbation are a scourge on the faithful and society at large. Continence IS possible, with grace. Thank you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Amen, so true. Thank you for watching!

[@realmccoy124]

Hello Father Columba - Bless! Great episode about a very complex and sensitive issue. In my parish, we sing together "O Heavenly King / Psalms 51" in the Divine Liturgy... and when you said this statement of acting out of one's brokenness, "This is me, Jesus, without you -- it really resonated with my spirit and I thought of this particular stanza, "O wretched man that I am .... come and abide in us ... and save our souls, O Good One".... I cannot think of a better statement -- "this is me, without you..." It just leads us to understanding, that in Christ, we stand complete in Him. Wow! Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit ... THANK YOU for this precious insight! As your soul prospers....

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for sharing this with us, Lee, love the connection to the hymn. Bless you.

[@tristanbrench1977]

The hardest thing I have ever had to give up thank you jesus for the strength 🙏

[@fr.mattmccarthy9744]

I especially like the advice he offers to “make a list” of things to do when triggered. I find that simply focusing on one thing at a time (ie this book, this video, this conversation w/ a friend, this coffee break etc.) really helps to stave off temptation. Trouble happens when the mind is open to literally “whatever” - usually a consequence of social media scrolling nowadays (or channel-flipping in my day :)

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you, Father.

[@richardsoderkvist6383]

Thankyou for your video talk message. Praise God everything you said is so true and righton. Its all very inspirational comforting helpful possitive and very encouraging to our faith salvation healing deluverance freedom and overcoming victory in the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. God bless you Amen.

[@fergalgriffin5858]

Very nicely spoken in getting your message across by speaking perfect sense on how to be repentant but sadly as long as the priest has to be non judgemental when it comes to listening to this in the confession box its hard to see an end to this issue ever especially with the way technology has gone but lets not lose hope that some day something will happen with global warming, covid and further pandemics possible that this could kindle a rise in young people in giving time to God and hopefully the church will stay rekindled since we'll always need it there.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks for your comment, Fergal! I think it makes sense to say the priest should be nonjudgmental of the sinner, but certainly not of the sin - the sin needs to be called out and eradicated. Bless you!

[@TheFunfolks]

A Thoughful - Sign of the Cross - at the first inclination helps bring one back into the Presence of God... Thank you, Fr. Columba for your uncannily relaxing way to explain a serious Habit !!! God Bless you always🙏🙏🙏

[@ctmcatholic]

Great idea, and cheers! Bless you 🙏

[@seanscott2063]

I'm thinking about converting to Catholicism and I will need to take confession. I would like to do this with FR Columba. His humour is uplifting and refreshing. It also has a ring of truth (of the divine kind).

[@ctmcatholic]

Very kind of you. Best you enter an RCIA programme in your local parish. Where are you based?

[@seanscott2063]

@@ctmcatholic Plymouth, I've had 3 Bible classes with Fr John at St Peters.....I'm daunted about the old confession to be honest...the "giving up " after so long..

[@emberdrops3892]

Awesome talk! I participated in Exodus 90 and made huge strides against lust during it! Absolutely would recommend, however it is veery challenging.

[@ctmcatholic]

We love Exodus 90! Highly recommend it.

[@dw1533]

I'm liking this video because of the intro😂😂.. great advice

[@ctmcatholic]

😁

[@adrianaansaldi9248]

It’s really good Father that you are talking about these topics because everything that we keep hide it rotten and we know who acts in hidden and darknesses, sadly these are the issues we are having nowadays because of the technology meaning accessibility. It is so bad that people at the office had been fire because watching and pleasuring themselves during working hours, adults men unbelievable, most men although women also struggle with this out of looniness I guess, idk in being married 30 years so I’m good but I understand that women also struggle now with different issues that were usually a “ men thing” and also something you didn’t mention maybe in the future SM because of that stupid “ 50 shades of grades” book and movie who made a lot if damage mainly because people nowadays are very immature and confused reality with fantasy. Those who want to “ experience “ should think why they are so unhappy and look in their lives for meaningful things instead of “ instant gratification “. I’m being there, doing that and at the end it does not work because we are made for something higher, to reach Heavens, St Augustine said that our souls can’t never be happy until we find God because they are made for God”.

[@ctmcatholic]

True Adriana 🙏

[@bradyandjodi1]

Also, for ladies, check out Magdala Ministries. The foundress, Rachael Killackey, was on Pints with Aquinas (Matt Fradd). Amazing program!!

[@ctmcatholic]

Must check that out, thanks for recommending it!

[@tomasidh]

had a vice grip on my life for years & was genuinely destroying me. the church needs to speak up & be honest with how prolific pornography is among the youth. so thank you father. God works miracles if we let Him.

[@callumclarke1733]

Thank you brother for your talk on Masterbion and Porn I did have a Problem with porn as a Christian but I got out of it I understand we are all dead in sin Ephesians 2:1 But we go Straight too Christ himself 2 Timothy 2:5 just been truthful with yourself that's the most important thing.

[@ctmcatholic]

So glad to hear of your freedom Callum, praise God and keep up the great work.

[@thomasskendzel7616]

It really is interesting how the devil works. First immense temptation and promising this is a good then, once one falls, slams you with shame and depression. I've been struggling with this for years and been going to confession for it usually multiple times a week throughout this period but nothing seems to work. Usually stress and boredom are triggers for me, idle hands are the work of the devil. I suppose a lot of this addiction for me is also a habit that's been heavily reinforced. Thinking about doing a dopamine detox now but the problem is I don't have enough discipline. Thanks for this video.

[@BigPhilly15]

Your videos are so edifying. Thank you so much, Father. Please pray for me to grow closer to Jesus and His Church. I will pray for you.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks for watching.

[@TrustInJesusThruMaryWithJoseph]

+🙏🏻🕊❤️‍🔥Thank you❤️‍🔥🕊🙏🏻+ Wonderful truth in charity!!

[@ctmcatholic]

🙏🙏

[@MrMikepresley]

Lord make me chaste....(you know the rest)

[@ctmcatholic]

🙏🏼

[@joshualopez9175]

Also want to say, remember to go to Confession before receiving the eucharist if you've masturbated or committed a mortal sin in general. We aren't supposed to receive the Eucharist under a state of mortal sin. Also want to add, its so worth it. God freed me from masturbation and porn, and my life is so much better for it.

[@ctmcatholic]

Very true, thanks for adding that, Joshua!

[@joshualopez9175]

@Pax Domini I've never heard that. Maybe for other things such as severe drug addictions, but from all accounts I've heard, masturbation is a mortal sin

[@emilymckellar7443]

I'm going to let this comment be a prayer for all those who are watching this and have not brought things into the light yet, and are afraid to comment about how this video has helped them. Our prayers are with you! Side note: that would be an amazing video. Addressing people in that situation specifically....If that makes any sense.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thank you for this, Emily! We will bring them to prayer also. I think I know what you mean - there’s a lot of people living in the dark on this subject. I suppose that’s what Fr Columba means by starting to talk about this and breaking the shame cycle!

[@elf-lordsfriarofthemeadowl2039]

I don't have a long-term solution, but I bet my friend $500 that I will at least make it through November. Fortunately (unfortunately) I care about money! Going longer now without than ever before. Thank God for this opportunity you have given me to take this opportunity much more deeply.

[@ctmcatholic]

Incredible to hear, and lol do what works - the bet was a great idea. Bless you!

[@joecoupon8299]

Ever noticed how the Vice is free at no cost to the viewer? Like water for Baptism doesn't cost anything either.

[@Cpripri85]

Thank you Fr. What's it's insane, is it's in ads everywhere.

[@ctmcatholic]

You’re very welcome. It’s incredibly sad how widespread it is.

[@gabrielseth5142]

It's a back and forth struggle for me. It's gotten easier over the years the more that I've worked on it, but I'm a young single guy and I'm just happy I'm not doing it everyday anymore. I can go a few weeks or months but eventually the pull is too strong and I fail God. I haven't confessed this to my priest because frankly I don't want to come back to confession every few weeks and tell Father Wilson about the same sin, I know there is shame in that, but I'm working on it and I want to eventually go to confession, with the problem under control and say "I lived like this for years, but now it's overcome." I tell God about my struggles and I tell my close friends who go through the same struggles as I do

[@ctmcatholic]

Hi Gabriel, thank you so much for sharing this with us. It’s so great to hear about your progress. I totally get it’s not easy to go to Confession with the same sin all the time, but at the same time I think we have to ask ourselves do we believe in the power of Confession, do we believe the priest really represents and stands in the place of Christ, do we believe our sins our truly forgiven, and that if we choose not to got to Confession with mortal sin on our soul and die in that state that we go to Hell - all these things that the Church teaches. If we do believe these things then I don’t think we can allow ourselves to avoid Confession, which is a huge gift given to us by Christ at the greatest cost - of his passion and death on the cross. It’s a small sacrifice we have to make in getting to Confession compared to the ultimate price paid by the One who made Confession possible. Bless you, friend. Praying for you and your freedom.

[@gabrielseth5142]

@@ctmcatholic you have my thanks for the reality check. I know the right thing to do, it just feels hard to do it. I would ask however a little more pressing question. I have committed greater sins in my life and I have confessed these to my priest, but sometimes I think it's easy to get tunnel vision working through the harder stuff and neglect the small things until they become worse. I've caught myself with this trying to kick drinking and drugs, but began to rely more heavily on pornography and masturbation. I noticed a similar trend as well with others and if you have any advice on how to avoid this game of whack a mole, it would be much appreciated

[@mariebrett2179]

@@gabrielseth5142 someone said in the comments above that saying the rosary and meditating on the 2bd sorrowful mystery really helped someone he knew. Hope this helps . Also maybe calling out to Our Lady and St Joseph when you are tempted as they are strong intercessors for purity....etc A friend once told me she was in the act with her boyfriend and at the last min called out to our lady in her head ...IMMEDIATELY everything stopped bcos Our Lady intervened

[@gabrielseth5142]

@@mariebrett2179 I may be presumptuous but I think it is a little harder. Everyone has their struggles in their own way and your friend refusing her boyfriend is very admirable, especially now when that kind of temptation is just everywhere. But I pray, I meditate on the sacrifice made for me to have the chance to reach Heaven and to be a better man on earth, I work regularly, I get off work and immediately work out, on Saturdays I leave the house, get out in nature and on Sunday I go to church for 2 hours before continuing with my day. The moments that grate away at me aren't in my waking state, but in my dreams and inbetween. When I wake up from pleasant dreams I have to refuse and I'm laying in my bed at 3 in the morning trying to go back to sleep with unworthy thoughts in my skull. But I still do not fail then, I grit it out, I remind myself of the God who made himself into man and of the early Christian saints who made a name for themselves being the best of humanity. And for 14 days or 30 days or 45 days or 77 days of building pressure I choose God over flesh, then for 1 day I don't and it is a disgrace. It's hard, I have made progress, I do go farther and farther almost every time, but it's a slog and this is why I have respect for guys like Fr Columba who have devoted their lives to shirking off such things. Thank you however for the advice and the personal story, I will try the former and remember the the latter

[@mariebrett2179]

@@gabrielseth5142 God bless you .

[@sstritmatter2158]

Very good video - God will give grace for this. I broke pornography with God's grace and World of Tanks. It's non-existent now. I still struggle with self satisfaction a bit but keep working on it with God.

[@ctmcatholic]

Thanks for sharing

[@united4631]

Praying The Holy Rosary certainly helps in resisting addictions

[@ctmcatholic]

Absolutely!

[@FabzRoma-is3sq]

Attitude of the soul consecrated to the Holy Spirit is to love what is holy and hate what is unholy, abominable/

[@ctmcatholic]

Amen!

[@archangelliii2536]

I came back to the Lord and His Church after a 15 years or so entertaining atheism/indifference. But the thing that shocked me the most was, not priests judging me because of the sin of masturbation. No but THE OPPOSITE. I had this one priest in Tampa, FL, a Jesuit, who got really mad at me once during confession because I confessed my sin of masturbation basically telling me to stop wasting his time with my "scruples". I was about 2 years into my coming back into the Faith and was caught off guard. Of course I knew he was wrong but I never dared to tell him so I almost apologized and froze. I felt intimidated quite frankly. Of course I've grown in my Faith since then and if that were to happen today, let's say I wouldn't let him finish his sentence and then would have walked away from such a sacrilegious impure man (a "priest" or clergy who opposes Church dogma looses my respect in a flash).

[@ctmcatholic]

That’s awful. We must pray for those poor men.

[@James_RC]

Thank you Father. When you made your video on habitual sin I felt this was the elephant in the room. I am concerned however that the modern church is moving ever further from tackling sin in a time when we face ever greater temptation. Coupled with this is in my experience the lessening of opportunities to deal with it sacramentally. Confession is rebranded as the sacrament of reconciliation. Our spiritual leaders (yes Cardinal Nichols I'm thinking of you) never talk of sin let alone the devil. My parish church no longer schedules weekly confession times and buried deep in their website is a passing reference to asking at the house if you require the sacrament of reconciliation. There are no confessionals so asking at the house for this subject will be intimidating and perhaps especially so for a female penitent? And yet each Sunday I watch as everyone without exception goes to receive communion. But when priests who eschew the title Father ("call me Michael") and refuse to wear priestly garb outside of mass... Okay I'll shut up now 🤐

[@ctmcatholic]

Edward here from the CTM team. I'm sorry to hear that about your parish - there is a lot of rot and confusion in the church unfortunately. I agree entirely with everything you've said - regular penance is vital to life with the Eucharist. You could try to fix things, ask the priest for a regular penance schedule, get involved with the parish groups, help inform your fellow congregants, etc. ... or find a better parish and community of Catholics striving for sanctity. My wife and I travel over an hour for Mass on Sunday for this very reason.

[@James_RC]

@@ctmcatholic thank you Edward I'll give it a go.

[@timlarkin4471]

I read St Faustinas diary and I am gifted the golden girdle of Christ.

[@ctmcatholic]

God bless you.

[@richardsoderkvist6383]

Deliverance

[@brianfarley926]

Those devices that don’t allow you to view it help slow the process. Nothing says you can’t delete the app. So, it helps delay it a bit but that’s about it. Sorry, been there. I find the Rosary tends to be the best weapon. Something I need to make sure I myself do it daily. Or just the Prayer of Contrition and saying what you need to say as well

[@ctmcatholic]

That’s great advice, thank you Brian.

[@joelconolly5574]

Been struggling with this for nearly 14 years. Still trying to break it. Though successful for a month I'm still pushing it sometimes with ongoing pursuit of porn and masturbation pleasures but unlike before, I've been able to reduce it. Hopefully with persistency and prayers I can pull the plug on this for good. Really tryna be a better man and a better children of God.

[@ctmcatholic]

Bless you, Joel and your pursuit of God and freedom. We will be praying for you. We know it’s not easy, but it is possible and the success is very worth it.

[@joelconolly5574]

@@ctmcatholic Thank you Fr and team CTM. I'll be diligent in fighting the urges as well. Do pray for my healing after my heart attack. It's s struggle, but a slow and steadfast healing.

[@bojabang2188]

Salvation in God

[@ctmcatholic]

Amen.

[@bernadettegonzalez1258]

Oh Lord, there are soooooo many triggers. I no longer watch most "commercial" movies and television. They are all so prone to perversion and disordered thinking. No alleged "romance" novels, either. I know, I sound boring, but rather boring than wallowing in sin. 🤣😂🤣😊

[@michellemonks6855]

My heart is very heavy & hurting for my husband. He is bipolar 1 and is in a mania episode where he is having hypersexativy. It hasn't gotten this far but he is watching it and has uncountable women he is texting and exchanging pictures. I realize that he can not help his actions and in a clarity moment he did say he knows it is wrong. It is now going into month 3. Yes he has a counselor, therapist and is on medication. I am trying really really hard to be compassionate and helpful. But it is now hurting or marriage. We've been together 23 yr & I have never experienced anything like it before with him. I am praying hard and doing massive crying. Being he has a mental illness is his soul protected? I am getting him to say with me the miracle prayer twice daily if possible. And please if there is anyone out there who has gone through this, please let me know how you survived. Thank you.

[@h82cUg0]

There are so many triggers! The bombarding of the senses, from caffeinated drinks to suggestive music and movies and advertisements to trashy conversation. The desert father's fled because of much of the same things we face today. To live in this world and not be of it requires a lot of discipline. Praying for an infusion of grace and patience. Come Holy Spirit,come! Holy Mary, Mother of God and full of grace, pray for me. Pray for us who have recourse to thee! in Jesus Name,Amen!

[@ctmcatholic]

You're right, it's tough out there. It does get easier though as other commenters have shared.

[@mariebrett2179]

I got rid of my tv a lot of years ago bcos i was watching it to much and am so glad i did ...one thing less to keep me attached to the world and not see things that arent good. The bible says to be radical with sin ..

[@RK-dk5vt]

Thank you for your advice and encouragement.That last part: we need to do the work and really want it; but it's about us relying on God. How would you explain the tension between the two and what does relying on God look like in this context?

[@ctmcatholic]

Relying on God in the sense that, out of humility, realising God can and will give us the grace to break free and that’s a gift that comes from him - but we have to cooperate with it, we have to choose it. While temptations in this area can be strong, God doesn’t leave us without the means to fight through. But he can’t fight the fight for us, we have free will and have to make our own free choices. However, without His grace (again which we need to cooperate with otherwise it’s an unopened gift) we would never be able to break free on our own. Hope that makes sense! Katie

[@RK-dk5vt]

@@ctmcatholic Thanks a lot!

[@fabianpatrizio2865]

"God already knows all about it" hahahahaha 🙂

[@fabianpatrizio2865]

Methinks the world seriously needs a patron Saint (against) pornography...it's such a massive, destructive issue - unless there is already one that I don't know of :)

[@ceciliacastelino1250]

+HOLY MARY, VIRGIN MOST MERCIFUL, TRIUMPH and REIGN in me and in everyone+

[@ctmcatholic]

💙

[@thissaintme]

Greetings Father, Can you make a video on perfect act of contrition because I live in a muslim family, never been to Catholic Church but I really want to repent from my mortal sin. and be 100% sure that I'm in state of grace. Will be praying rosary for you.

[@jamiemay8294]

I've already gained freedom from this.. but I have this propensity to relapse on a certain type of drug at times which brings me right back to this and nearly destroys my life every time.. every time and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to fully get a grip.. and it's starting to get very worrisome

[@ctmcatholic]

First of all, praise God for your progress, that is wonderful. Very sorry to hear you’re struggling from time to time though, I know it can be so demoralising. Do you have a spiritual director or accountability partner you can talk to?

[@newshades7009]

we may also use porn to suppress our anxietys even though we know it isself defeating it seems extra difficult when you have insomnia

[@newsradio5706]

I know i shouldn't say this and it would sound disrespectful but I like when he shake his head and his beard swing ,he gives the feeling of Santa .

[@ctmcatholic]

Lol.

[@kabhijith8902]

To me boredom is good..if i am bored and i am trying to seek some thing else then i am not resting in God..

[@VienasKunasIrVienaDvaisa]

My friend, i always say that boredom - is an invention of this modern culture, it was called peace and calmness long before. The thing is - God provides us with true internal fullness and peace. And if we lack the presence of God in our lives - we feel anxious, empty, and nervous.. Thus when nothing happens in our lives - we look not for God, but for all these external things that keep us busy just to distract us from our own emptiness inside. Its so good to rest in God

[@ctmcatholic]

Good to know your triggers, praying for you!

[@ctmcatholic]

Couldn’t agree with this more, thank you for sharing!

[@yaahqappaadaikkalam7971]

The Garden of Eden spiritual narative (part 1) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ In the abundance of the Garden there was two trees symbolizing the negative and the positive part of Creation . First was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil talking about free will and there was the Tree of Life of the eternal predestined divinity. The two trees are what our inner dispositions is all about , it is about on which premise do we function ,the Ego or Divinity! The Divine forbade the Ego to form because it will eventually lead to death and so it was in the story where eating (forming) from the tree of Free-Will had a devastating effect which we feel even today! The Serpent being the symbol of virility and fertility wanted the woman to partake the sweetness of materiality, pleasure and power( to be God) which the woman could not contain and got the man to eat as well to which the man lost his manliness. The outward projection and the illusion that ensued is when the Serpent is outside coiled around the tree. Indeed the salvation rest in getting the Serpent to be within and transforming the Ego by grace, love and righteousness through the Virgin Mother. This kundalini awakening happens when the Divine penetrates into this outward illusionary realm to bypass the Cherubim with the flaming sword opening up the path to the Tree of Life!

[@antonioramos7139]

I thought masturbation was necessary because it decreases the chances of developing prostate illnesses (including cancer) by a third. It would be interesting to see what the rates of prostate cancer are among those who claim to be celibate & chaste to see if this latest medical research holds any water. A dilemma for many young catholics.

[@ZeniaLarsen]

@@ballsjr9286 Do you have any sources? As far as I can tell, research is pretty solid. It's not "masturbation", though, but "frequent ejaculation". If you do have solid sources to back up your claim, please do share.

[@ctmcatholic]

Hi Antonio, thank you for your question. While there is some research out there that suggests this may be the case, it hasn’t been definitively proven, much like many other medical theories that don’t get much attention. Given the topic, however, I’m not surprised this theory has been given such a hearing. However, even if it could be proven, I would say that masturbation causes other (arguably worse) issues (and these it almost definitely will cause) such as addiction and with that a lack of a sense of control, self-esteem, etc; and also a host of issues in relationship with eg a spouse (because it makes us focused on ourselves, particularly sexually) - all of which can easily lead to decreased mental health and happiness. Then of course the biggest consequence of all is the fact that it’s a grave sin and sin puts a block between us a God, between us and the life of virtue. Given the shortness of this life and the eternal nature of the next, it is incredibly important to do our very best to avoid sin of any kind, particularly the sin of masturbation which can become so addictive and difficult to root out. Ultimately I believe we will be much happier without masturbation in the long run (despite the very short lived pleasure it can bring about), happier in our relationships, and mentally healthier and happier overall. And most importantly, more virtuous, free(r) of sin, and closer to God and our eternal life of happiness in Heaven. I hope that helps in some way. Bless you!

[@ZeniaLarsen]

@@ballsjr9286 Thank you. I do not dispute the teachings of our church (although I - being brought up by atheists - am surprised that 'masturbation' and 'pornography' is so often mentioned like they're almost the same thing .) I was asking because I was only able to find studies that supported the hypothesis and although I haven't read the actual research they did seem solid. And I am of the firm belief that if there is a consensus among researchers that something should be viewed as scientifically true, then we should not dispute that just because it doesn't fly well with our faith. Instead, we should reflect on how to incorporate the findings, which is not the same as saying that we should reject the teachings of the church. It is perfectly valid to say something like "despite the fact that masturbation may have some positive health affects, there are other consequences, especially with regard to our relationship with God." We should not say that because the church teaches something, then science must be wrong if it seems to contradict the faith. Often, there is no contradiction on a deeper level, and if there is, we need to keep an open mind in order to understand what God might be telling us. Hope you get my point, sorry about this wall of text :)

[@mateomurphy7281]

I love your thoughts but it’s hard for me to get passed the religion and god aspect of it. Not sure how to understand it as a person that doesn’t believe in religious endeavors

[@ctmcatholic]

Hi Mateo, you’re very welcome to the channel. You might find fightthenewdrug.org helpful - they look at the impact of porn from a non-religious point of view.