How to Get a Good Divorce (Best Practices)

[@christopherlindsay9618]

I did exactly what this video recommends and it turned out well! She was having an affair, didn’t really want to divorce (as John points out, she was probably scared) but wouldn’t end it with the other guy. We had many deeply emotional conversations, and I told her I didn’t want to live like that anymore and something needed to change. I had already done my homework and prepared my vision on paper for what a divorce would look like and shared it with her. She knew she messed up and said she didn’t want to hurt me financially, so we included a waiver of maintenance. We got a mediator and filed jointly, uncontested. I was friendly and amicable throughout. Everything in my plan was included in the marital settlement agreement. I got the house, no alimony, 2 years to pay the equalization payment because of the high mortgage rates, for about $2,500.

[@zoraster3749]

Masterful. Well done.

[@avidwaterfowler7522]

No they shouldn’t, just stop getting married. It really is that simple, stop complicating life and justifying it. I am with the same woman for 15 years but no marriage. I earn 90% of all income and don’t need her so I can split whenever I may need. The home is under my name and I pay for everything in the house. We do not have any legal ties other than two older boys…

[@SKBottom]

And you got rid of a cheating slor. Bravo!

[@Cjwilkins1989]

3 best things that helped me when I went through my divorce at 24. 1. Not being established financially at the time so there was nothing for her to salvage or take from me. 2. Being young enough to have learned my lesson at an age to where I didn't have to learn the true dark reality of female nature, in Union form at 40 or 50. 3. Filing for divorce the minute she betrayed our vows and became physically violent with me. ( So many men take decades of disrespect. Getting out of it when she showed me she didn't want to be my wife was the best thing ever.) Love your channel and your daily crusade to make men better John!!!

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@TheRoyalWe123]

You're a champ. I met her at 21 and am divorcing at 30. She's basically winning the lotto after years of using me. The breadceumbing and playing like she was just depressed worked until it didnt... never again.

[@Brent-z2s]

My dad came out ok because he had 3 mortgages on the house and his wife had inherited another house so she gave him the house.

[@heloramos82]

I am sorry you had to go through a divorce so early in you life but on the other hand it is also good it happened so soon because you still have lots of time ahead of you.

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

Good Stuff you bounced back young Sir. Little Old Me.. Will NOT allow myself to get entangled in that marriage game again.. I warn all the young men I meet...

[@scanstyles]

My forth year as single (I never mention or write anywhere I’m divorced because it has a negative impact on the words and life is so positive now). Coming home from work today, everything is quiet, prepare and eat dinner, watch news, do laundry and then relax time. An old girlfriend I fact wrote to me: “Do you want a visit in the upcoming weekend?” “No” was my answer “I’ve got plans”. But I don’t. The freedom as a bachelor is a relief in so many way. So You guys who are going through divorce: be patient, as John mention, behave, close the door quietly and afterwards live Your life to the fullest 🙏

[@Bigguy_33]

Marriage licenses should have an expiration date, just like drivers licenses. Say 5 or 10 yrs, and after that they need to be renewed or the marriage is over.

[@brianwatson3581]

YES!

[@racebannon96]

Too many men would be bailing out.

[@John_Wood_]

perhaps add penalty points also. She doesn't put out every week, 3 points added. Over 12 within 12 months and she's out on her ear.

[@byroncummings2952]

Unfortunately, that will never happen. The courts wouldn't make money by railroading the ex-husband.

[@Brent-z2s]

With a 2 minute warning.

[@americanflyer4126]

Just went through a very, vary nasty divorce. I tried to stay civil and keep the lawyers out of it. My friends and family begged me to hire a lawyer. I finally did when I realized she was out to ruin me in every way possible. Negotiating was useless. Went all the way to a court trial. Her attorney was "too busy" to come so mine roasted her in court. But it was mostly for naught. Even with all our evidence the judge gave her almost everything she wanted. Yes, the courts are stacked in their favor. Still glad I had an attorney though. I have enough to re-build. Otherwise I would have been ruined. Life is peaceful and quiet now. I feel like I can breathe again. Good luck, gentlemen.

[@allseeingotto2912]

Same experience as mine , there was no reasoning with the demon she became

[@robertclaus1102]

I agree with you regarding not talking disparagingly about your soon to be ex, especially to your children. An important addendum. I didn’t allow my children to talk disparagingly about their mother to me. I corrected them when they did, and told them to respect their mom that she was a good woman, and they shouldn’t ever speak that way about her. (even though I really didn’t believe that) It didn’t take long, before the children finally looked at me and said, “come on Dad don’t be so stupid, mom had boyfriends you didn’t know about! I learned a lot of new things (that they saw and heard)that I had no way of knowing. Children always want to feel smarter than their parents. You’re giving them the opportunity to feel that way, and perhaps leverage valuable information for your divorce in doing so.

[@papj349]

I was completely honest about our split to our 18 year old daughter. I stayed in the marital home and when my daughter gets upset and wants to talk about the split I simply say ' she has left me, I am still here for you and your room will always be here for you as will I'. That is the raw truth and the kid sees it very clearly.

[@SKBottom]

Sorry, I know you were trying to be the better person, but gaslighting your own children will only cause them to eventually resent you. Kids aren't stupid.

[@cobblestonefun6268]

I could not make it through this video as it opened up wounds that are trying to heal. My ex lawyered up and was unreasonable about the kids and finances and used the system to lie her way to the end. I am a good man and father and was a good husband. She destroyed me financially and tried to take the kids. I do not talk bad of her to the kids. But i dont talk good either and avoid contact as much as possible. I believe sugar coating and playing nice with someone who tried to hurt you and take your kids from you is demeaning. I want nothing to do with the ex ever again. She has not apologized and never will as she is a narcissist. Why would i just sweep all that destruction and pain aside and pretend to be buddy with her? No. The kids will know the truth someday. I will be here in the marital home. My advice? If she hints at divorce be the initiator and get it done quick. The longer it takes the more you lose. Her on the offensive is brutal and unbelievably cold. Take that option away. Any woman that wants to divorce a good man with no cheating or abuse or drugs or spending or alcohol problems etc who has a stable job, is a good dad, wants it to work out, etc......is not worth it. She is just a selfish monster willing to cause the entire family suffering just so she can play super single mom. Disgusting. If her friends and mom arent in good marriages....forget it. She is too impressionable and will find a way to fault you...even though you may have done nothing.

[@robertclaus1102]

@@SKBottom I wasn't gaslighting them. I meant it. The results were unexpected.

[@John-i1g]

100% Been there and feel your pain. Takes two to tango to go down John's path here.

[@Brent-z2s]

My cousin tried stay on good terms with his wife in the divorce and his ex still burned him and said I want to take everything so no other woman will want you.

[@heloramos82]

Tell her it won't work. I know... I am a second wife. When I met my husband he had nothing, just a plan to rebuilt himself. I wanted to help him and now he has much more than what he lost. There is always a woman who can recognize a good man even if he is burned. He will rebuild himself, money came and goes. But her bitterness will end with her opportunities because people will sense it.

[@papj349]

What a cow.

[@hectorvillarreal3676]

@@heloramos82thank you for taking the time and replying to this with your positive experience 🙏🏼god bless yall

[@greener8116]

I've helped several friends navigate their divorces. The advice given here is pure gold.

[@byroncummings2952]

The only way to come out unscathed is to not play at all. I got friends that divorced and it damn near ruined them. One even self-deleted, just isn't worth it.

[@papj349]

Another good one John. When we decided to split I did a dissolution statement on a spreadsheet to divide the assets. (This was easy as I have always done my wife's tax returns so knew all her investments.) Generally, in the UK if the marriage is a long one (>10 years) and there are no kids under 18 then it is a 50/50 split. So, it took an hour or so to complete the spreadsheet. My wife said a friend of hers did the same thing,gave it to her lawyer and he just agreed it and charged them £12k, so we agreed no lawyers to get involved. As for the legal divorce, a no fault divorce can all be done online with no lawyers needed for the sum of £600. I said I could do that to avoid any other fees. I think I have got off lightly and would always advise staying amicable and try to avoid the lawyers.

[@dont6441]

I didn't see it coming (twice). The signs were there but I was naïve, chose to ignore them and thought being a good guy was enough. It wasn't. After the second, I decided I needed to educate myself about women's nature. Can't change the past but I sure can change the future.

[@k.p.636]

Life is short... no need to beat yourself up... for me it's the nature, nature heals us.

[@Horatio1886build]

Just don’t do it again. Resist the temptation to be “ normal and married “

[@ivanguban7143]

You are not alone, I ignored all red flags and after 25 years of marriage with two kids, she decided to break up. It was very stressful, everything I worked for and earned while she stayed at home. It was painful, but as soon as I got my final judgment, I felt so great. You have to have a plan. I saw it was coming, I prepared myself, stashed my money, removed her name from joint account, appraised all my equipment with fake statements of repairs needed to reduce the value. And after your divorce gets finalized, don’t be afraid to take what is yours, even though it was awarded to her. After divorce, it will be hard to prove who got what and what happened. It will cost her more money to go after you, usually it never happens. Good luck. Set yourself free.

[@WilliamMartinez-vq2bn]

I have a friend who married for the first time at 62,,,she put the sqweeze on him she told him marry me or its over they dated 4yrs. Shes 10 yrs yuonger,,he recently said to me. ," i dont know where all my money has gone"" i told him i know where it went,,,,he just stared at me!!!!!,,,john all men know woman are SPENDING BEAST!!!!!AND MOST ARE NOT VERY GOOD WITH MONEY!!!!

[@racebannon96]

Expensive lesson for your friend. These women do not care.

[@Horatio1886build]

100s of thousands of dollars just gone forever. Some guys never recover or are set back decades in life.

[@Drunkmonk2122]

😂 getting married at 62 ? Like get a dog I’m 29 I’m giving it 10 more years of dating and I’m fully done ….. I’ve given up recently but no way am I worried about woman now let alone at 45-50+ I’ll just get a dog and or pocket pussie😂

[@heloramos82]

Some women are very good with money, not all. I grew up in a household where my father worked two jobs, and my mother skillfully handled the household budget. Even when my father received promotions, she maintained the same grocery and expense budget, saving every penny on a savings account. All the properties they own today were aquired because of his hard work and her financial expertise. However, we are latins not americans... I think culture is a game changer. For example, we often cook at home, while I know many Americans who eat out daily, which can be significantly more expensive. I believe that financial education should be part of the curriculum for both boys and girls. However, as a woman, I also recognize that we tend to spend more than men, it is normal. But what is a major red flag for me is if a woman has expensive taste and she herself cannot aford for the things she expect to own.

[@MrBusta30408]

Brother, I really needed this video today! Wife met with the lawyer yesterday and we are meeting this Saturday to discuss dividing our assets. I'll be so glad when this is over, it's been a rough road. I completely resonate with living in a state of hopefulness.

[@john-griffin]

Good luck

[@reclaimtheframe]

Paid for a mediator today just to agree to things we already agreed on

[@ivanguban7143]

During my meditation I made a mistake because of my pride, I requested to be in a separate room from my ex. Big mistake. I should stay in the same room and in a professional manner agreed to divide everything 50/50, instead I ended up going to trial and spending thousands on attorney fees. Brother, save your money, agree on dividing everything, you won’t win anything in court, John is right, women get favored in divorce a lot.

[@MrBusta30408]

@@ivanguban7143 I will take your advice. Thank you!

[@etebol]

I always wondered how some man are able to stay married to very obese women or utterly unattractive women; and I usually just would end up chalking it up to, me being a superficial asshole who could not look past skin deep and just know that the “person” I fell in love with is still somewhere deep down there. But it just occurred to me that these man are clever, and they know that their wives got no where to go after a divorce and are probably good wives all around, assuming she is not crazy, because staying married to an angry woman who can literally knock you out and the crush you, is probably not to clever.

[@trevorthetherapist4200]

Any divorce that does not involve lawyers or become adversarial is extremely rare 😂😂😂 like seeing Big Foot in person.

[@racebannon96]

I agree. The wife had her affair and even dated in front of me hoping I would lay my hands on her. I didn’t take the bait. She couldn’t just leave. She had to destroy me first. It was ugly but I got through it. She became the most hateful creature I ever dealt with.

[@danbev9313]

I met Bigfoot on my first divorce. My Second divorce, I couldn't find the mother F'er. Got divorce raped Deliverance style

[@WilliamMartinez-vq2bn]

Thanks. Please keep em coming we all men need these at least 3 times a week thanks

[@HomeSchool4You]

Less is more.

[@mh-do3pe]

Divorced a foreign woman 1 year into the marriage at the age of 40. No assets to divide, no kids, no lawyers needed, no nothing. Just told her to sign the divorce papers so we can be both on our way. Got off scotch free. Don't know her whereabouts don't care

[@CeeVeeMilkan]

If she cheated on you, move FAST! She wants the freedom to play with her new toy - use that as leverage. Make her accept concessions to get out quickly. It’s okay to lie to her (just don’t write it down!), whatever it takes…. Just make her pay for early freedom.

[@zoraster3749]

100% pure facts. I lived this. Hope and pray she is cheating on you when she wants to get divorced. If you initiate the divorce and she isn’t in lala land dreaming of her new life you’re going to pay dearly.

[@SufferousTosh]

The 2nd greatest accomplishment in my entire life, was my divorce. 1st was quitting the booze.... Both equally rewarding. Don't let the abuse continue....

[@mikesvatek1178]

This was the video I needed today as I walk into the early stages of mediation. Thanks for all the great content.

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you found it helpful.

[@TheSnookman]

My ex lost about 50k 'cause she wouldn't agree to a payment plan to give her half of my money over time. She wanted all of it "now" so she had to settle for much less. Always insist to pay over time (that's how you saved the $$ and will spread out the tax hit). The judge agreed that my logic was acceptable.

[@john-griffin]

Good for you!

[@georgesontag2192]

The judge wouldn't let me pay my alimony over time. The judge deducted my alimony from my share of the house equity. She married a new guy in 30 days. The courts control everything.

[@mikejames9642]

Your advice for a mediator is a great idea for you, not for your wife. Unless she is shallow, you are going to have to work hard to sell this idea. Her friends and family will all be encouraging her to get an attorney and get everything she can because everything she’s told is that you are narcissistic, selfish and inconsiderate.

[@WilliamMartinez-vq2bn]

Just started my second year retired,,,,so much peace and tranquility,,,im my redpill positive christian mgtow life!!!!

[@johnmartin1314]

I still date them adult fun hangout but will NEVER let them move in! One I dated for six months wanted to move in to MY mortgage free house and she gave me the choice of me putting a ring on her finger and moving in with me or as she put it " This relationship is over" my responce was quick! "Have a good life!"

[@PeterCunningham-rk5qk]

Very good advice. I did some of this well but my main tactic was kind of grey rock. I simply refused to participate in or communicate anything. I guess, now that I've been divorced for 25 years , the question still lingers ,why did I get married in the first place, then and now. It's not like I didn't know what she was like and to be honest I wasn't "in love" or anything like that . I regard myself as a very good judge of people's character but still fell for this . Could you make some more videos about why guys enable the whole marriage thing and even abusive dating relationships in the full knowledge that it's simply the wrong path to take. I know you've covered the subject at length before and it would be very helpful for younger men I feel.

[@markthomas2436]

Here is how to get the very best divorce ever; don't ever marry her in the first place.

[@mysticone1798]

Advice with good intentions, no doubt. I think the problem with it is that women initiate divorce 80% of the time, and by the time they do that they may already have another man to lean on, or to follow (the lawyer?). Seems to me that most husbands in most cases will not be able to discuss divorce in the logical, reasonable way you envision. That's just my opinion.

[@john-griffin]

Maybe you’re right

[@John-i1g]

I agree, most men haven't done anything to deserve or lead to the destructive path their wife goes down in the divorce. She's done with you, out to harm you and max out on her financial return. John is great but naive here. I've observed there's a selection bias in his videos in that they are focussed on good relatively divorces. Not the ones where your wife is trying to get you incarcerated. Like mine.

[@antevrankovic4539]

I can't stop being fascinated with the photography of your vids and how different and beautiful the sights are IN THE SAME WOODS

[@beereaucrat3233]

Get your house appraised. At least the state that I'm in, the person who gets the house has to pay the other party one-half of the equity of the appraised value. Our house appraised out a lot higher than when we bought it. It cheesed her off because at the time, I was underemployed and never made a single house payment. So check the laws in your state first. But for me, it was the smartest thing I did in the whole mess.

[@Cashizzking]

Just went through an uncontested divorce. We sat down as adults and discussed the specifics of who would get what. I was generous and respectful the entire time as she is family and the mother of my kids. She wanted to reconcile but I knew we would end up at this place again. Take the lead as a man and follow through. We still love each other but life is much simpler when you are single. I refuse to spend my life trying making one person happy. Finalized almost 3 weeks ago. I would NEVER get married again. It could have turned out much worst.

[@khanhcao3123]

Very smart man. You can not make them happy. They need to be themselves.

[@larryreis7273]

Don't get tied down with any woman who's not going to enjoy being with you the way you are and want to be. They will screw with your happy life.

[@abstractholiday]

This is the best divorce advice you are going to receive on YT.

[@johnmartin1314]

Was lucky enough to see my divorce coming 3-4 years before it happend. It gave me a chance to pre-pare mentaly and money wise. Had to take-out another mortgage to pay her out but 15 or so years later my house is paid for again, completely out of debt and 5 figure savings to boot. Her on the other hand is broke and burned through the money I had to legally give her the kids are telling me. Know so many other men that are blind-sided by divorce and never see it coming. Now in retirement I am sitting pretty but would NEVER EVER let another one move in with me as thats when they snag you legally. Date them still yes, adult fun yes, hangout yes but have my ass coverd by keeping them on my sidelines.

[@kevingeorge1095]

Agree 100%. I would only add that if she is behaving badly and you sense that a divorce may be in the works, even if 2 years away, you owe it to yourself to quietly DOCUMENT her behavior. Write it down in a notebook, get audio recordings or video recordings, or all 3. Over time these will be your armor and better than having the best attorney on your side.

[@arturmassa3600]

In some countries, recording without consent is a crime.

[@kevingeorge1095]

@@arturmassa3600 Yes! Everyone needs to check the laws in their jurisdiction. But I doubt that taking hand notes in a notebook can be considered a crime. It is important to find a way to document events.

[@ellenroehl6022]

Probably doesn't matter with no fault divorce.

[@kevingeorge1095]

@@ellenroehl6022 No, not if you are already assuming that the assets will be split 50/50. In the case of children and custody, documentation can make a HUGE difference.

[@john-griffin]

You're right, you can't be too careful in this situation.

[@larryreis7273]

The more I remain single without looking for any relationship, the happier I become. Life can be any way you want. Now I can live my dreams without some woman telling me what to do. I get to be ME!!! 😁🤣🥳

[@larryreis7273]

The longer I'm single, the happier I become. I have so many possibilities awaiting me. New adventures for me to discover without having to answer to ANYONE. 😂😁🥳

[@john-griffin]

That’s awesome!

[@negeto2460]

Thanks again for your amazing content brother John. Your channel and George Bruno's channel are truly an inspiration for those who are going through or been through a divorce (myself included). God bless you man!

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome! Glad you found it helpful.

Good advice if you can make it work this way. Emotions will Have to stay in your pocket. Wasn’t an option for me when wife wired cash out of our bank accounts, surprised me with the divorce on the phone while I was traveling, and told the kids without me there. She put me in that corner and I did all I could do to protect myself.

[@Brent-z2s]

I had heard about a guy who told his wife they needed to divorce for income tax purposes but he would get back together once that was settled but then refused to get back together. That was in the 80s

[@john-griffin]

Great idea!

[@Drunkmonk2122]

This is one of your best videos yet im single but parents went through this and this explains a lot and how to handle the situation

[@PersnicketyWhippets]

If she cheats on you, see if your state will allow you to sue for depravation of affection. Mine did and I made out big.

[@TheBlackGlovesOfficial]

I think that most men resist the process because vows are immensely important to them. Once you realize that vows or integrity mean absolutely nothing to women compared to their feelings, and that you cannot take them seriously, everything becomes easier. The sooner you accept that, the smoother a divorce you're gonna get.

[@papj349]

Exactly, ' for richer,for poorer,in sickness and in health' all in the trash can.

[@Horatio1886build]

Basically we are always dealing with “children” be they kids or the spouse. Woman like kids need leadership even if they want to act like “ strong, independent, powerful woman of the millennium “ 🙀

[@larryreis7273]

I have some recent acquaintances that said they were getting married soon, and I said, "DON'T DO IT."

[@seanl904]

Not sure what most women you’re talking about? 😂 Most will try and take everything they can and leave you in the desert to die. If the man has a lot of money, he’s toast. Glad your experience was different.

[@aminai8581]

Masterpiece. Thanks John

[@ItalNico]

Thank you so much John. As a man who is finally ready to file for divorce I've had a tough time figuring out where to start. I needed your advice more than words can express and I will put it to good use.

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome! Good luck.

[@ASHERQARNI]

The women John is referring to are from planet earth, most are not.

[@ICFUBAR]

This is Best advice for men in broken unfixable marriages that see the writing and want to act proactively. From seeking an arbiter for fair asset division to how to conduct yourself while the divorce process is taking place. Better yet is a solid prenup before marriage that sets out percentage of asset division in the event. That way a couple can just skip all the haggling and be done.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@anthonymurray742]

You're an absolute God send. Watching from the great southern land of Tasmania.

[@BWalker123]

Can you do a video about getting past the rumination of your ex being with another man.

[@racebannon96]

Be thankful she is gone. Don't think about her. Don't communicate with her or ask anyone about her.

[@Drunkmonk2122]

@BWalker123 don’t worry about her the guy she is with dosent even like her and prolly is just using her ……. It’s over brother just move on we all have had this happen before just focus on yourself

[@oscarm.1417]

It's tough to get over this feeling until you realize that her new man will someday be a ruminating ex just like you are today. She wasn't yours and she isn't his now, it's just another guy taking his temporary turn after you've taken yours. There will be more turns to be had... trust me on this.

[@SeanC1959]

I love your videos John. Not because I'm a divorced man, but because I'm not! I'm one society's fringe dwellers......... a single man who's never been MARRIED!!!!! We are a marginalized group, frowned upon and regarded as non participating time wasters by many. But, who cares?? Great videos, as I feel more validated as I get older and reflect on the often broken lives of all the divorced men that I know. Thanks as always, Sean.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks for watching Sean. It's good to hear from someone who's never been married!

[@rostamr4096]

Thank you, I really appreciate these videos it is helping immensely. I am going through a divorce and when I look at you, you motivate me. In a way, I imagine myself where you are in about a year( and with two dogs).

[@john-griffin]

It’s all here for you!

[@TallmanSE]

This information and the way you describe it is invaluable to me. Many thanks again!

[@denisbelanger4473]

Divorces suck it can cost a lot of money ,Drama, and pain. I did not want my young children to grow up in 2 different homes and partly being raised by another man. Thank god they were all moved out and on their own. Most men probably feel this way and know how the court system works. John you may have thought of this when your kids were young and this is why you put it off. I know I did.

[@trapTv3]

Hey Good Morning John Can U Do A Video On The Pros And Cons On PreNubs I Think That Would Tie In Good With Your Message

[@john-griffin]

I’ll give it a shot! The problem is state laws tend to dictate how those agreements are dealt with in court. There’s also a lot of subjectivity when it comes to judges.

[@trapTv3]

@ Oh Ok I See Thanks John Enjoy The Rest Of Your Day. Stay Blessed

[@niner8tangojuliet149]

@@john-griffinsounds like the “subjectivity of”, loop holes, and misconceptions would be good to concentrate on. probably nothing worse for a guy feeling confident in the prenup just to have some slick lawyer unravel it all. You’re doing good things. Divorced and staying single here.

[@maximushung]

this year will be our 29th anniversary and we agreed to divorce at the end of this year. my wife began cheating around 10 years into the marriage. i blame myself because my career went off track when I didn't make partner at McKinsey. I failed to achieve a major career objective. we stayed together for financial reasons and opened up our relationship. because of her infidelity, I fell into depression but eventually pulled myself out through weight lifting, intermittent fasting and a low-carb diet. i was fortunate enough to meet the love of my life. unfortunately, she died during the pandemic but promised to be my wife in our next life. now, I'm looking forward to my freedom and hope i have one more chance at romance and having children.

[@john-griffin]

That’s quite a story! I think you should write a book about it. Seriously

[@maximushung]

@john-griffin thank you. unfortunately, I'm a bad writer. I'm thinking of sharing my experiences on KZbin as a hobby.

[@fudogwhisperer3590]

You'e delusional if you think she doesn't want take everything she can. Most women are like that. The reason she's going to do that is because she's got girl friends that are going to inform her of how she's got you by the balls.

[@kingdavid1614]

There is just too much psychology for any one person to handle. It is just unfortunate that it takes life experience to learn how to handle these issues. Life is too short and most men usually cannot recover from a divorce especially if it happens at the later parts of your life.

[@davegayaldo]

first and foremost, i just wanted to say thank you … people don’t understand unless you’ve experienced certain thing in life and that’s what called wisdom.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@stephenlyon8577]

🇬🇧 uk . Was it Lincoln who said, you'll catch more flys with honet than vinegar ?

[@daveclarke5512]

Thankyou John very good advice

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome!

[@TrevyTrev-andTheFunkyPets]

From what I’ve witnessed, instead of going through the inconvenience of getting a divorce and starting over, they would be happy with being “ separated “ and just continue living together as roommates.

[@clint120]

Who wants a bad roommate?

[@79bull]

How does dating work in this quite frankly terrifying environment? 😱 I’d much rather have less stuff than live with an ex. Honestly what a nightmare concept.

[@jasondowns2510]

In till she puts an order protection on you like my wife did. Forced me out of the house for two years false allegations. The blessing on the cake I was able to take a pretty good chunk of my 401(k) money loan against myself. I had to reestablish my own house. She played stupid games. She’ll win stupid prizes when there’s far a little money in my 401(k) to go after.😂

[@MoreFunInTheNewWorld]

🤣

[@billthebutcher6873]

Yea I'll never do that.

[@user-st7sz6xg2c]

All pie in the sky here, reality is she will be prompted to seek legal counsel immediately from her girlfriends then it's game over......

100%

[@john-griffin]

You’re thinking shortsighted. I’m telling you you can do it without lawyers. You need to find out what’s important to her. Her kids are always going to be important to her. She knows her kids need a father. That’s your leverage.

[@GBPaddling]

"Harmonious" is the word, John, 'Acrimonious' means bitter and argumentative............We forgive you for that little faux pas......🤩

[@kiddytube3915]

Tried that, didn’t work. You’re at her mercy. Just hope that the new guy that she’s with is in love with her and doesn’t want the children and just want her to quickly get her divorce settled so that they can begin their lives together. Coz that’s the truth. You have no control over your divorce and it’s just luck and coincidence from that point forward. Be cordial, and mature because you don’t want to rock the boat at that time. But once the dust has settled. There’s no need to put up a front anymore. If she’s not playing by the books, then you don’t have to play nice either. Don’t be a doormat to a person who doesn’t value you.

[@kiddytube3915]

Always remember that women are in the business of love and men are in love. So when a divorce comes along, she has already decided to quit her “job.” And usually when people quit, they already have something lined up. The best time to get a divorce with a woman is when she’s focused on the new guy. That’s when terms and agreements usually goes your way. Far too often I see good men waste this golden opportunity to get the divorce settlement done in the hopes that their soon to be ex wives will turn things around. That’s a decision you have to make.

[@WeeklyHealthShow]

Great advice

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@darmy713]

Never lie to the children. Don’t shit talk, but lies only confuse and cause trauma later in life with massive unanswered questions that burden the children later. Don’t be graphic or detailed if they are young of course, but be honest. It’s enough of a disillusionment about the family, let alone more lies.

[@papj349]

Exactly

[@Scott-M1]

I'm one of those children. My parents have been divorced for over 30 years and my mum still shit talks my dad to this day, it's so bizarre. My dad isn't perfect, but he barely mentions her. Says alot. My mum has become a very bitter and resentful person. For years she blamed my dad, but the real problem was her all along.

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

I can see so clearly that you were an insurance salesman…… Always selling……

[@strangeanimal1535]

The easy and sarcastic way of getting the point across is don't get married in the first place. Ingenious. All aspire to what is expected of us as part of "The norm". Yes, confronting the world as it is requires cooperation in order to pass your DNA, to a certain extent. How important is it to you and how far are you willing to sacrifice to do so is an another. Easy to get trapped in this dilemma until you realize (often to late ), this is the rational option. Those of us who get through hoops and came out of it after a failure as far as the Disney version are few and far between. So, the saying still holds true... Don't get married.

[@duhg6059]

John i did good in court in ca.. i got 50 50 custody divided assets and i was paid child support until my son turned 18 and i still get alimony for life.. i hired a woman attorney, fight fire with fire.. she tried to get a restraining order against me (she failed) hired a PI to run her unemployed live in bf she left me for was a convicted child abuser which helped my case.. always check her bf history if he is around your kids..

[@heloramos82]

sorry to ask but why do you have to still pay ur ex alimony for the rest of your life? shouldnt she work? If you don't have to pay child support because your kid is off age and society understands that he can work then it should be the same for your ex. I am not american so it makes no sense to me this alimony thing...

[@duhg6059]

@heloramos82 she pays me because she made more and she thought I would have to pay her..God bless equality... here in california after 10 years of marriage alimony is for life or until the person getting paid gets remarried.. I was married 33 yrs until she found Mr right..

[@john-griffin]

Great story and advice, thanks

[@alfredopampanga9356]

This really very good advice. It’s almost a shame that now you are in possession of all the wisdom you will probably never implement it

[@JohnRhodes-lv3rg]

If you divorce an entitled brat, she will not compromise.

[@larryreis7273]

Any smart person should know better than to put ALL those negative influences on themselves.

[@Slamitdownhard]

I believe that most women wait to be "unhappy" and file for divorce when she knows that it is to her benefit. My ex got advice from the jaded divorced b*tches that she worked with so she knew she was going to use the process to punish me. Her lawyer screwed her big time, so there is that, lol. Stay hard brothers.

[@jameshogue6814]

That sounds like some very sincere and solid advice.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@jameshogue6814]

@john-griffin lt's all good, I enjoy your thoughtful wisdom.

[@georgeg2369]

Good advice…but hard to deal with a screaming emotional wahmen who gets a DV order based on false allegations. It’s all a sham.

[@paulbooij7594]

This was so good. I will listen again later.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it

[@davegayaldo]

it’s a negotiation to the end. and it HAS to befit both parties are it will not work … cost me 250k and 100k in taxes i paid .. it has to be a win for her and for you to , do move forward. her all bill paid ,new car paid off , student loans paid off and i don’t have alimony for the rest of my life . move on and move forward as fast as possible and it’s therapeutic for both of you . she wants out , help her and if she realizes it was bad idea it’s way too late . by that time you still love her but don’t and shouldn’t take her back

[@tacey01]

Thanks John! Appreciate you!

[@williamcollins4583]

good stuff the problem is they want to "seperate for a bit" and then wham! you are served papers...

[@bingisnow]

The biggest question that I am struggling with myself is knowing when it’s time. I was unfaithful to my wife and we are struggling through the process of forgiveness however, I don’t see a lot of change in her and I don’t think things will change in our relationship. It’s been a very unhappy season for the last few years and I don’t know how much I can really handle itso when do you know when enough is enough?

[@racebannon96]

When is it enough? When it is affecting your mental health. You can’t sleep or eat. You are living in a state of constant confusion. You are living a nightmare.

[@allseeingotto2912]

Oh man , I wish I had the luxury of having a wife that I could’ve sat down with and had a reasonable discussion about our divorce, no , she despised me and just wanted me to burn so she went running to daddy government who used everything against me .

[@georgesontag2192]

Divorcing women will never agree to a mediator. Their attorney will tell them to let them handle it all. They will get them all they can get. And they do. A married man with a job is in big financial trouble.

[@DVul]

Wishful thinking most of the time you don't get a choice, they plan the exits and may already have a lawyer Lawyers are the shit heads who create most of the problems in divorce... I still don't understand why they are necessary at all, instead of mediation which would halve the stress, cost and time to resolve

[@john-griffin]

That’s why it’s so important to get out in front of the thing

[@papj349]

Agreed,read the book 'Lawyers can seriously damage your health' by Michael Joseph.

[@duaneh1973]

My ex-wife came to me wanting an applicable agreement when I filed for a divorce. When she found out the day I was moving out. It went to shit real quick!

[@scanstyles]

You can get divorced in Denmark in 24 hours or choose to be separated for 6 months and then get divorced. Why wait? I applied for divorce through an app. It took me a half hour and the next day we were divorced. Two days later I moved out. She kept the house, I wanted my children to have a safe base, and it was for them not for her. I didn’t get anything from the house. Nor any savings. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to build my last future on building blocks from the time with her. So it was an easy divorce and I even pay child support. But my life is healthy and rich now more than ever. Move on guy without ghosts in the closet

[@john-griffin]

Wow!!!!

[@clearsailing7993]

A woman should not be able to take anything that you acquired before the marriage. That is is outright stealing. She also should not be able to take anything that you inherited.

[@cobblestonefun6268]

How about retirement savings? She saved almost nothing despite me advising her to do so. I saved a good amount. She is 12 years younger and took half of my savings in the split. Plus she had a pension the entire marriage and i do too...but she took a big chunk of that also. I lost 100k just on retirement to the ex who is 12 years younger and worked the same job as me. Legal theft I say. Be aware those men with younger wives. They can pull themselves forward while pulling you back....with many years still in their favor.

[@KristopherStidd]

Thank you for the video John. I appreciate you! ❤❤❤

[@john-griffin]

Any time! Thanks for your support

[@urbanart7325]

You can tell your adult married children the truth

[@john-griffin]

Yes

[@Paul-oe9sy]

Yes, mediation is cheaper, but it relies on your ex being capable of voluntarily signing an agreement. Many exes can't due to personality disorders like borderline or narcissism, in those cases go straight to court.

[@jasondowns2510]

John , I’m curious what state you live in it looks cold there is it cold here in Minnesota -17 today

[@andimallouttabubblegum5218]

F yeah it's cold here in MN.

[@john-griffin]

I’m in Northern Virginia. It was 22° when I was filming that. Today it is going to be 20° as a high temperature and tomorrow I think we might make it up to 18°. Filming outdoors can be a little uncomfortable sometimes.

[@kylebooker1987]

13:08 Is it shit talk if it's entirely accurate tho? I'm genuinely curious.

[@john-griffin]

I guess it depends on how old your kids are before you start telling them the truth. My son‘s mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic. I did not tell him that until he was a teenager. He was living with me the entire time and he had spent very little if any time with her. She had promised to send him gifts and never did. He was very upset by that so I had to explain to him that she was in jail. With that further explanation about her drug use and alcoholism. I have told him that if he were younger. So you’re gonna need to use a lot of discretion.

[@kylebooker1987]

@john-griffin Got it.

[@quantum7154]

John…the EX wife do shit talk about the ex husband to the kids since they spend more time with the kids, so it’s fair for the man to state his side to avoid the kids hating him.

[@sumdumgai-c5e]

Evidence was the biggest thing I had in my favor.

[@northernmichigan4108]

We have 50/50 joint legal and I pay a ton of child support.

[@sdtind1897]

Your videos are great. However, could you record in maximum, 1080p 2160p is way to high and data heavily on mobile , and I always have to adjust the resolution down manually Thank you for what you do

[@trockstar303]

Thank you

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome!

[@northernmichigan4108]

I disagree with the soft spot analogy.

[@Lifeisshort-wealthylovewell]

Thanks

[@john-griffin]

Thank you!

[@Lifeisshort-wealthylovewell]

@ you have changed my life John. I finally see the code in the matrix with my marriage which I will be peacefully ending soon.

[@emaij]

Thank you.