How to heal from narcissistic relationship when there is no justice

[@foteotw]

Life without the narcissist is the happy ending.

[@Paradox4152]

Plot twist! 🙌🏽

[@r.s.s3882]

isn’t that the truth!

[@shancabezas]

Exactly!

[@Picca65]

Yes! Let them move on, just that they don't bother me anymore.

[@Picca65]

@Anne Briggs i guess that is the worst case to happen :( But still: first of all you need to radical accept that she is how she is and might never change. Stop ruminating, for you can't change the past (whatever happened, it will be sad and hard to overlook, but still...) I think i would stay in touch, but from a big distance. So I know a bit about how she is doing, but keep the souldistance. And live your own life!! If she still lives with you, you are the one in charge, enetually kick her out.

[@liesldowdeswell4389]

The best part about watching these videos is that I no longer think I am the crazy one, or going crazy. All of a sudden my life makes sense, thank you Dr Ramani.

[@jonbreen146]

Agreed. These videos have changed my life. I never knew!!!! There are other channels, but this one has the best gentle message that is needed for us. Thank you Dr Ramani.

[@christinahirsch95]

Absolutely. These videos are my daily therapy session. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!

[@mh-tu9dd]

Me too!

[@carinawoodmansee9699]

Agreed. My mom was Narc, my ex and my sister. I never understood why and how I could be so messed up to the point that I destroyed lives as told by those three in my life. Once my mom died, divorced my ex and walked away from my sister my life had new meaning. I felt peace, no longer panicking over phone calls wondering what I'd be listening to this time. I didn't need anxiety meds and my relationship with my children has blossomed beautifully. Sadly however, I'm still dealing with a lifetime of abuse and PTSD , it's hard to climb out of. I do talk myself out of a lot of things because I don't feel worthy and don't wanna risk meeting more people to validate my fears. It's a hard world out there

[@liesldowdeswell4389]

@@carinawoodmansee9699 so sorry to hear this Carina. I do trust that you will learn to trust people again and that you find love and worth with your children and your Family. You are worthy. You are Loved and you are Cared for.

[@microcosmos1864]

"I wanted them to suffer.. but then I realised they were already miserable". This quote helped me change my view towards revenge..

[@Greenmade106]

HHahahahahahahahaaaaaa😂😂😂

[@auriuman78]

Anyone who's ever beat themselves up for something, you have a glimpse of what they're feeling, but ten fold... There is NOTHING you can do to them that is worse than what they're going through in their own mind. The clencher on this, for some, is that someone made them this way through some kind of horrible, torturous injustice. It's no excuse... but I'll be damned if I can't help feel the compassion and empathy for their plight (from afar, there is no change possible I finally accept).

[@KobeKing-j6l]

I’ve never wanted her to suffer. I only wanted her to be the woman I fell in love with again.

[@microcosmos1864]

@@KobeKing-j6l That's not gonna happen buddy.. especially with a narcissistic person.. accept it and promise yourself that you'll find someone better, more special!

[@sooticablue1664]

@@KobeKing-j6lif she was a narc she never was the woman you fell in love with - that woman didn’t exist. It’s brutal. Trust me I know. I’m sorry you’re going through it too.

[@currypablo]

Being gas lighted is one of the worst parts of having to manage complex PTSD. Triggers, flashbacks, shame, guilt are part of everyday life.

[@Cgruiz8690]

I can relate

[@williamsilva5701]

I still feel guilty for asking my mother to leave my house after her being extremely contemptuous. He defamed me with a lot of relatives because of that! Had some health problems and went through them alone because they thing I’m a horrible person!

[@bunbury420]

Triggers 😵‍💫 make me cry everytime and everyday 😵‍💫

[@preetiishrrma]

I can relate… even if i am going no contact these thoughts never goes out of my mind…. How he used me

[@allthingsjana7870]

​@@preetiishrrmawas discarded and going through the same. Horrible and I completely get it

[@tiptapkey]

Don't let a narcissist live rent free in your head.

[@patrangela]

So much easier said then done 😔

[@paulsayan3177]

Great advice Arysta, I had a guy that lived their for 20 years in my penthouse. After hearing Dr. Ramani's messages, I now feel sorry for him. I originally thought I was dealing with just one, and now can see there were a few more in my old work place.

[@zebeart8808]

Great advice. Wish I could charge back rent!

[@iwonaula9]

This is the hardest thing to do. But it is very important.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

They’re going to do that in some form or other anyway but you can make that room as uncomfortable for them as possible. Think of them as rats living rent-free in the kitchen scullery who have no choice but to roll around in potent peppermint oil until they eventually die.

[@JesusIsTheWay.Truth.Life.]

The narcissist's rejection, is the Lord's protection! Keep on walking, stay no contact, and keep your head held high! You are worthy!

[@ETTe316]

@ Dreene, Thank You! Amen!

[@nomaswazimbata7287]

Thank you Dreene. Never looked at it that way... You have really helped me- after being rejected with a 6months pregnancy and now My beautiful son. The Narcissist’s rejection ,will definitely be the Lord’s Protection...for my son and I.

[@JesusIsTheWay.Truth.Life.]

@@nomaswazimbata7287 I'm so sorry that you were hurt like that. Thank God that you and your son will be free! God bless you.😌

[@kikiellender5228]

Very deep! Very true.

[@lucasessman1910]

@@nomaswazimbata7287 I’m so sorry queen 🥺 you’re worth way more than that ain’t shit dude I promise. God was clearing him out because he saw things you didn’t

[@kathyjohnston-keane2623]

The best "revenge" is to live your life well... being authentic, being truly YOU. The narcissist doesn't deserve any more of your energy.

[@ginap5003]

Oh yes! My hubby’s favorite mantra is ‘The best revenge is living a good life.’

[@jhafner2634]

Amen! Spend no more of your precious time on earth by devoting any more mental or emotional energy or resources on this disturbed person.

[@gretabrown1408]

Every day I see the pattern of narc behaviour and I am now an observer and when I see the confusion of the narc bc she cannot figure out what happened! In this stage I am receiving a whole range of love bombing which by the way I don’t notice these days bc I see it for what it is. I see the need the narc has for validation and I watch to see where it will come from

[@DianasStudioDesigns]

That is so painfully true. But I hope that the internal reward of succeeding at getting away from them will be enough to keep me going on so I can help others.

[@reneeleighkaraoke]

Agreed!

[@innerworkshealing22]

It is so damn hard to watch them never face a consequence and simply sail through life wreaking their havoc. It’s been one of the hardest challenges for me as I try to heal in a small town from a malignant toxic narc. There’s no escape and there is no justice. I continue to work on accepting that.

[@o.t.9047]

Do you ever travel or spend time with people outside of the circle who knows both you and your ex?

[@dustingraves1172]

Such a hard challenge in a small town especially when your the new one and the narcissist has been there her whole life...

[@fazeenamansoor]

In the same situation. Are healed?

[@thetruth3325]

Here is what can help.. dont take it personal. Let me explain.. the battle you are fighting is a spiritual one... what you are fighting is not the person in front of you... you are simply looking at the vessel. There is a demonic possession behind the narc.. the person infront of you is simply the devil in human form.. the person infront of you whatever youre looking at.. there is nothing there.... their soul left yearssssss ago.. if they are malignant, many are born and grow with a mínimal to no developed conscience . Its easier to heal when you know you are fighting a spiritual battle...

[@jane_white]

❤ I wish you could just move. Your decision, you're in charge, your live, your world!. What keeps you from it? Maybe even 30km away will do (you can keep your job) I did it 3x. And believe me the best things and friends last forever. And the pride and self-esteem when you conquer your new world on your own, heals. I hope you're doing well. Please update us. .

[@Pollyanna-uv8pt]

The justice is they are them. And I am me and they don’t get to have me.

[@gretabrown1408]

Yes! That’s me too! Thanks for a concise interpretation of the joy which comes with a good knowledge base of what we are dealing with

[@DianasStudioDesigns]

Totally 🙏🕯️🕊️☮️🌺

[@EnigmaX-p3v]

Yes

[@hazlinakahliep5826]

Nice!!! And I agree...

[@mariajosequevedoserrano8130]

This!💙 Thank you

[@lizzy5437]

Free from their: Invalidation, devaluation, minimization, gaslighting, entitlement, dehumanization, lack of empathy. BOOM nailed it! Nice list right there.

[@DianasStudioDesigns]

Yes. Very on point. Mic drop summary🙏🌺🌻

[@feminotti3134]

I agree with you! And you typed it up such that I could take a screenshot and print it out. Thank you Lizzy 🧡🌈🧡!

[@carenallen5841]

Perfect

[@taneyat6_33]

Great job !

[@sam06758]

I just cry whenever I watch her videos on how my stupidity is and not being aware of how much I was swallowed. My reality was completely altered and wasted most of my life being hurt and worried I was not enough in reality nothing was ever enough for him because of how broken he is. There was always dark clouds around him that I felt and I just couldn’t put my mind to it. I had a strong intuition on that

[@angandhercatemma1984]

As my grandmother told me when she was alive..." the best revenge is to live well". Narcissists hate when you live well without them. My narcissistic abusive ex is alone and cut out of my life... I am in a happy, healthy relationship with a man that loves and treats me really well now. I still suffer from trauma from my ex, but my new partner supports me and let's me cry, vent and talk to him about it whenever I need too. We are not victims of narcissists, we are survivors!

[@dawnnicholson6703]

Yes I can relate. I was married to one for 18 yrs. I agree the best revenge is a good life. I am healing too and a surviver. I have been through allot. A year after the divorce our son passed from a drug overdose. He was only 18..I am slowly piecing my life together again and someone really special came into my life.I miss my son dearly, but my new partner is nothing like my ex. I agree we are survivors.

[@Peanuts76]

Aww..... I envy you, i don't have someone to hear my sadness, i do want hug someone i love, like a lot, and i can cry let out my stress and trauma, not supress my pain everyday.... Deep hug, where i can feel validated, not gaslighted and pushed away....

[@amwil4980]

@@dawnnicholson6703 for me it was 17 almost 18 years of the same cycle I left about 2 and half weeks ago We have kids So I'm getting my kids on the weekends I feel like more myself now

[@katec9893]

@@dawnnicholson6703 I'm sorry to hear about your son, that must be extremely painful. I hope you're doing OK.

[@aquastone5870]

Why aren't you talking about how to heal? Talk about healing please. Speak to your title

[@hipnhappenin]

I asked my friend verbatim earlier today, "How do I move on and find peace when all of this was so unfair?" Thank you for such an important video

[@janeyip1855]

Your success is your best revenge. Forget about them, walk away to create your dream, and focus all efforts on it.

[@jesseskellington9427]

Agreed 👍 Easy to say. Hard to do. Be patient with yourself. Wax on. Wax off. Practice makes it easy over time. Just look. When you first started something to where you are now. Give yourself the admiration and appreciation you deserve for putting that effort into whatever you started :-)

[@poulomi__hari]

The thing is, "success" is also something that Narcissists define. And even if you surpass them in money or fame, they will still find a way to put you down. My mother is a housewife. And she deems herself better than us, you know why? Because she is religious!!!

[@jessicajoyhardee6668]

It took me until this year, the year before I turn 35 to realize this, and then there is still so much grief! I'm mourning my childhood bc I was so lonely and didn't experience many joyful moments. I will keep seeking my dream, but unfortunately, some opportunities are lost forever. My motto has become what version of that dream would satisfy? Having lived some version of that experience even though I am past my 20's.

[@PPMOCRG]

Yes! They hate seeing other people happy and successful! My narcissist was jealous of my salary. I hope she knows that I retired at 46. 🤣

[@shaulmatobassum7366]

Experienced emotional abuse for last 1 yr by my narcissistic bipolar SIL . After taking psychotherapy for stress and adjustment disorder now I'm handling situations in much better way. Able to focus on my own career . Thanks dr ramani.

[@tjd8139]

You know what else is MAGNIFICENT? Your commitment and generosity of time and experience to helping so many people who might not be able to afford therapy or maybe see you face-to-face. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

[@sarahwatters]

Yes!

[@naeslyrrad]

I completely agree!! The Doc provides such an invaluable service to the world with these videos! Great point, it's like therapy for folks who can't afford it or have the luck of interacting with her in person!

[@missa2445]

I agree. Thank you doctor

[@el5880]

@@55melange same thing for me. All of a sudden, everything makes sense but none of my prior therapists identified what was going on.

[@deborahjamesdendtler9415]

Amen

[@pyiushsharma2166]

There's no justice. You gotta let them go. They're doomed for life. That's all the justice.

[@erinkayeozga9947]

Actually, that is the best Justice!

[@pyiushsharma2166]

@@erinkayeozga9947 Freakin best.🤣 Let them carry their damn weight of constant sullenness..!

[@venusrising6554]

I disagree. You CAN fight back. There CAN BE some justice. You hurt them most by depriving them of what they want. - control - your attention - your pain The answer is No Contact/Grey Rock. You know them. Anticipate their moves. That's KEY. Put safeguards in place before they can act whenever possible. Utilize whatever legal means necessary to diminish/stop any effects on your life. Protecting yourself & your life is # 1. ALWAYS. Then move on, build your life & be happy. GOOD LUCK !

[@joseenoel8093]

That they're so needy is such a head's up it's not even funny! That they show such interest at your wanna have boring life, such comparisons when you never heard the starting gate's gun go off is another!

[@pyiushsharma2166]

@@venusrising6554 There you go..!🔥

[@stardustlia]

what goes around, comes around. Narcs burn bridges til they're an island. We don't have to do anything but distance ourselves.

[@nebulanigrimleonis3883]

LEAVE THEM and NEVER LOOK BACK. They will need you before you need them. It's so satisfying the first time you say and feel the word NO. And you MEAN IT. NOTHING THEM. No reaction. Its like taking their batteries out. They NEED your reactions, feelings, fuel, energy. Without your attention, they really don't exist.

[@shabnamrafique7730]

Be careful of their neediness it's "hoovering". They're just sucking you back in with they pretend helplessness.

[@aliciam7774]

Thanks for saying that.

[@FarahY1991]

Exactly. When they had your attention they took it for granted

[@NiritNeeman]

But they find someone else for it

[@t.f.6297]

So true 👍!

[@paleobc65]

“Your giving them too much psychological real estate” Dr.Ramanis way of saying you’re letting them live in your mind rent-free

[@prpudd4323]

so true!!!!!

[@dawnfletcher9838]

Awesome analogy

[@amandabotterill1000]

OMG HE ACTUAKY RANG N SED THST TO ME WEN ID MOBED ON WITH SOMEONE ELSE N HE WAS FURIOUS COZ ICOZ THEY DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE U U ARE THERE PROPERTY HE SED U THINK HES BETTER BUT U WONT 4 GET ME IM LIVING IN UR HEAD RENT FREE I WAS NOT SUPRISED IT WAS NO SHOCK THATS HOW THEY BREAK THERE SILENCE AS SOON AS THEY SEE U MOVED ON THATS THE TIME TOO WATCH 4 HOOVERS EVEN NASTY ONES ARE FUEL FOR THEM X

[@italiaamara3415]

Wow Your right

[@firehead4]

The BEST revenge is living well! Getting a better partner, upgrading your life, chasing your dreams, fulfilling life goals...having the gift of starting over--that's my justice!

[@mr.ramlalsingh6698]

Yes i agree. I had a covert female covert narcissist.

[@anonymous.2727]

Exactly! Narcissists are one of the weakest people ever. Their sense of self is so weak that just by looking at you living your own life without them controlling you makes them insanely angry. That's the best revenge

[@mami-e2q]

Yes..I agree: the fact that we can START over chasing our dreams upgrading our lives. So well put.

[@firehead4]

@@mami-e2q thank you!

[@divyapoduval4402]

One shd leave them early and if one is little mentally vulnerable thats all they will have a gala time with thisr emotions. Me facing

[@Harv1790]

I’m lucky enough to have witnessed my former abuser karma on three separate occasions. However this satisfaction never lasted long so I decided to focus on moving on and healing.

[@MsTangoXray]

Going through hell to heal. The pain seems never ending. The obsessive thoughts are crippling. But the narc just went on their merry way, unbothered, onto their new supply, like the years with you never happened...There is no justice.

[@venusrising6554]

There CAN BE some justice. You hurt them most by depriving them of what they want. - control - your attention - your pain The answer is No Contact/Grey Rock. You know them. Anticipate their moves. That's KEY. Put safeguards in place before they can act whenever possible. Utilize whatever legal means necessary to diminish/stop any effects on your life. Protecting yourself & your life is # 1. ALWAYS. Then move on, build your life & be happy. GOOD LUCK !

[@annachan8151]

Knowing that the narcissist is so desperate for validation from others because on the inside they're in a hell of their own is a relief for me at least. None of the things they did to hurt me helped their internal hell and they'll never be able to escape it while I'm gonna be getting better and actually smile because I'm truly happy to me who I am.

[@joseenoel8093]

Know that country song? 🎶 When you're going through hell don't slow down 🎶, probably a good idea not to look back either!

[@32dramaqueen]

Your justice is knowing that you CAN be fully happy and they can't. They need other's validation and suffering to feel good about themselves because of their own inner turmoil. Think about what an awful existence that would be. You can heal and be happy, they can't.

[@sunflower7532]

You Tango your way to happiness and healing and you’ll experience justice. Be patient, it gets better. You are not your trauma. Soothe it like a skittish poodle.

[@veronicac4874]

I personally have found strength and peace in the fact that "all that chaos" is no longer in my life. Freedom!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Veronica Cedrez, you are too beautiful to be with a narcissist 😈!

[@penelopelgoss2520]

Thanks for reminding me of that fact!!!

[@flowerfreedom7168]

yes there is no price for peace!

[@sibongilemolale4414]

Its been 1 day for me and I literally just took that in for the first time the fact that all those woman he cheats with, are no longer relevant or a part of my problem to solve.

[@reneeleighkaraoke]

The lack of injustice has caused me bitterness. It's a roadblock on my healing journey. Working on it. This message came right on time for me.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Renee Leigh, you deserve a better man not a narc 😈!

[@IAmDasani]

it's really hard for me to get past this too. it's so discouraging to know that people can do such horrible things and just get away with it.

[@bestdaze7802]

Don't worry, you are you. More strength to you.

[@DianasStudioDesigns]

Same.

[@Picca65]

Please at least do justice to yourself!

[@anabonacicdoric7118]

When you are caught in a loop of negative thoughts about what he had done to you or of what he is doing to you and you become angry...tell yourself: "I will be kind to myself, I will love myself, I won't abuse myself with such thought, I will forgive and thus free myself". I agree that living well is the best way to deal with a narcissist.

[@princessirulancorrino4695]

I thank you for your comment because every day in the past couple of days I wake up in the middle of the night obsessing and remembering all the hurtful things he said to me, how he discarded me like I was worthless… You are right, I would stop that train of thought and feel the light and love in my heart for myself…

[@lisamoag6548]

well said

[@ektaagarwal1579]

Thank u for this comment....it gave me a positive vibe to face the recovery..

[@ryani777]

❤❤❤❤ thank you ❤❤❤❤

[@momo90416]

I needed this. Thank you. 🙏🙏🙏

[@jencameron8124]

I believe that narcissists ARE their own Karma. The misery, pain and misfortune they create for others is their very life breath. They live a very empty, dark and pathetic existence. During and/or after their wrath, we at least stand a chance of happiness. That's what we must hold onto. Blessings

[@karmakarma9239]

Well said!

[@snehak6314]

True

[@pantsenfuego9986]

If this belief brings you comfort, that’s not healing.

[@pantsenfuego9986]

@@maggiemae9099 easing resentment brings healing. Learning to be comforted by ones own blessings.

[@lisewinne4423]

Child abuse needs an outcry and perhaps even demands from government. Let us not forget that narcissism gets its start from the family. The scapegoat lives forever with PTSD (PTSD reactions become involuntary by the time a child is an adult). Then the dangerous parents try to do their destruction behind the scenes to the scapegoats who prefer to leave. This needs a movement, similar to the Civil Rights movement, or child labor laws.

[@truthserum5855]

Their karma is they have to live with themselves.

[@deannahudson6873]

Some die sooner or later...

[@pughub8908]

Some got married but end up divorce and unhappy

[@karencampuzano9374]

"Still ruminating over abuse Is taking up too much psychological real estate." Dr Ramani has helped so many 💯

[@darlalong1957]

I feel like ending the ruminating, will be the last hurtle in my healing...and it's a biggie..

[@Pistonhammer]

@@darlalong1957 Same here !!! Omg am Ruminating over my Narc mother too , its because shes sent her Flying Monkeys over to my house after i want " No Contact " ( I suspect it was a social service worker who leaked out my personal information to them b$%&ards ) that Re-Triggered me again !! Hence why am still Ruminating too !! truer words have never been spoken

[@a.a.a.651]

No one gets away with anything in the long run. No one can punish better than God, he does it on his timing. Thank you Dr. Ramani, you are the best.

[@Coco-og7zw]

Amen!!!!

[@xxamxx]

Like the Roman's verse, "Justice is mine, says the Lord."

[@Lynch888a]

Why would God punish them? They already live in hell. NPD is a result of a severe child abuse. They are tormented souls, who can't find a peace. God should let them to paradise , hug them, kiss them and tell them that are deserved to be loved. So finally, narcissist can find an end to his/her hell. But your comment is actually narcissistic by itself. You are victim, saint, and he/she is evil. That's how narcissist think.

[@michelelewis5666]

The best revenge is a life well-lived.

[@patrangela]

How do you live a life well when you can't quit replaying what they did, and your watching them "succeed "?

[@bessdeguia]

I agree because a Narcissist would never want to have their partner to succeed. They believe that their partners need them and are dependent on them .

[@michelelewis5666]

@@patrangela yeah, I hear you. Plain old time. It takes time to be able to quit ruminating. And concerted effort to learn how our thinking was changed by them and to get in the habit of thinking about other things. It doesn’t matter if they are “succeeding”. They are still miserable hateful unhappy souls and life is better without them.

[@messue428]

@@patrangela search on KZbin for narcissists and rumination. It really helps with the replaying in your head all the bad things over and over.

[@snowbear1877]

A wise colleague of mine once said that sometimes, all you have to do is wait, and these awful people will eventually self destruct. Usually, by that time you don't care anymore.

[@ania5905]

True but still have to be really careful with the narcissist because usually most of them won't just let you go.

[@invinciblesam6735]

Hope so

[@wayneelliott1180]

@@ania5905 Yes - especially if they are close in your life - a parent, sibling or (as in my case) a neighbour who is a stalker as well. They are always there, right there, plotting, spying, slandering, baiting, provoking. I day dream about revenge, things I would never actually do but would if I could.

[@ania5905]

@@wayneelliott1180 right, narcissistic people think they posses you and you're their property. And when you try to separate, they will do literally EVERYTHING to make you stay dependent. So have to be really very careful. Especially with words and whatever you do. Because they manipulate really well and will do everything to appear as if they are a victim. It's very hard to gain freedom around those people and often means you'll gain your freedom by a "war". Like in a movie "Gone girl" Whatever you do have to take care of your reputation and how you appear. Never allow a narcissist destroy your reputation and fight for your reputation if a narcissist talks or exposes your weaknesses. Have to always appear as a nice person. You can't beat a narcissistic person alone, without help and support of others.

[@pattylong6014]

Yeah, I agree, but it can take a long time! Sometimes decades!

[@junepagan8715]

Like my father-in-law warned me about my husband, ”He doesn't get ulcers, he gives them”.

[@angbat3655]

Omg his own father warned you?! He musta been a right nightmare! Wish I had someone warn me

[@junepagan8715]

@@angbat3655 even so, I was naive and trusting. I always thought I’d rather get burned than become suspicious and bitter.I was wrong.

[@angbat3655]

@@junepagan8715 I hear you, hope and an optimistic soul makes us turn a blind eye. let’s hope if the wrong person ever crosses our path again, we don’t need bitterness as a defence, as we are wise enough just to walk away.

[@hahadarrie]

Wow.

[@bethmorano1452]

My father in law warned me.

[@karensjoborg8110]

I never understood what what’s happening to me and my personality. I couldn’t get why I was behaving so strange and my happiness vanished. I do now thanks to you Dr Ramini

[@coreyanderson1457]

I was assaulted by a man who I now know was probably a narcissist. He had taunted me and pushed me around for months. But one night, he assaulted me after being very verbqlly abusive, picking a fight for literally no reason, he just wanted to make me miserable and abuse me. Well, a relative of mine called the police. A sheriff came over, I told him what happened, he examined me for evidence, apparently found a lot of it, and the DA pressed charges. He didn't get away with it. He also later, tried to intimidate me to not show up in court when they were going to possibly convict him. He even told me that everyone was saying that there was no case, and made fun of me.Well even though my own sister tried to discourage me from bothering to show up, I got out of bed and got myself down there. The look on his face when he saw me enter was something else. He was convicted, and for the first time, I got some kind of justice.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

I'm sorry to hear your sister tried to discourage you. Is it worth wondering whether she's an enabler?

[@sagba947]

Did he get a slap on the wrist?

[@themarro6695]

Justice is letting go, healing and THRIVING! Remember they set out to destroy you and look they have failed! For me that is enough Karma! The fact that you are no longer in their life. Be happy 😊

[@sarahalessa78]

Thats great!

[@themarro6695]

@@sarahalessa78 Totally 💯 They CAN’T abuse us anymore 🙅🏽‍♀️ Their control over us is OVER.😊

[@jonbreen146]

@@amiraabdou4054 Yes, this is the way. I'm proud of you.

[@bekind9150]

I agree. Since I have started watching these videos and reading the comments, I am trying to let go and move on. The first thing I did was go no contact, which is way more difficult than I could have imagined. I am still grieving, but I think I am coming to the indifferent stage. In order to get to where I am now, I had to get out of the situation and try to look at his behavior objectively. I was a fool for being on the merry go round for so many years.

[@survivedandthriving]

The Marro. You have a very wise and healthy way of dealing with the situation. Good for you that you are healing and thriving and thank you for sharing this good advice with us!

[@pinkstawbus]

Do everything for yourself. The love, kindness and mercy you tried to show to them, redirect it all to yourself. The garbage took itself out.

[@Gracenglory5]

Love this! 💞💞💞

[@mh-tu9dd]

Nice

[@janicebennett-allen9341]

I learned to truly love myself from narcs ordeals. And just being happy with me is so liberating that I simply cannot waste any more precious time and mental energy thinking of all kinds of ugly revenge.

[@Chahlie]

Great idea! I used to take my mom to the hairdresser with me, spending $100 at a go as she refused to ever wash. I cut my own hair, but I could probably spend that money on a spa treatment :) She complained non stop to people about me getting her hair done.

[@ClownGirlsHonkHonk]

Someone put me into a deep depression for over two years and this video made me feel better. The worst feeling is trying to make them understand they are a narcissist because they will never admit it. Narcissim is becoming so common that its not even worth being in a relationship anymore. People have become so selfish and cruel.

[@pippinlowe6555]

So its something in the water? I only half jest about that. I think a deeper focus on your correct idea that 'they will never admit it' is that they can't admit it without destroying the spirit of their character. Who does that? The hermit. Who has enough confidence in themselves to do that within a social context? Probably an emerging from their cave 'hermit'. The idea that relationships are not worthy anymore is just sadness in the heart. Understandable sadness, yet it is self-destructive when release from it is unavailable. So my advice as a nobody is to cry hard for your loss, turn your back on the narcissist, find the lesson in the experience, then MAKE PLANS FOR A BETTER LIFE.

[@MandyWoodArtist]

I don't think there are more, you have just had the lights come on and can see them. Like when you buy a certain model of car and then you see them everywhere. A few years ago there was no info on narcs now KZbin is swamped in info -- so yes we are learning to see them but they have always been prolific. In the Garden of Eden, one brother kills the other because he received more praise from God, BOOM, there is the beginning.

[@migz9932]

It's been almost three years for me and I have never felt so terrible. I lost the person I was 8+ years ago. That happy independent woman so full of life and hope, still able to like humans.. I don't know how to reverse time and be that person anymore.

[@adventuresofkatekat]

They will never know true happiness and love, only temporary fleeting moments of satisfaction here and there.

[@kristins4494]

Absolutely!

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

I don’t pity them. Karma💖

[@Hundredacredaycare]

They think everyone worships them

[@sunnyday6408]

i THINK THEY ARE ON A MUCH WORSE EDGE FROM PAIN, PUNISHMENT & PLEASURE OF HURTING OTHERS.. DANGEROUS PEOPLE ARE NARCS.

[@kittykitty7571]

Sending love💌to all those who have been traumatised by these villains💥

[@SpecialAgent-zn1vv]

One Love Fam 💜💛💜

[@gigattwarrior6201]

Thank you!💖💕💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺

[@jenniferconroy4517]

That's so nice , happiness and healing to you also...

[@cindeewhiting4358]

My heart beats so fast for all the wrong reasons!!! I am crushed. Killed, destroyed. Gosh I hurt. I feel like my heart and soul is located somewhere in my toenails.

[@mh-tu9dd]

❤️

[@punk91]

The happy ending actually happened to my best friend. Her incredibly narcissist ex husband took her to court for custody of the kids. It was such a long exhausting court battle, but in the end, she won. She got to keep her kids and move across the country. It was such a validating moment, to know that someone saw this man clearly, finally.

[@mndldvs1]

The same thing happened with my partner. 10 years ago it was quite common in the UK that the courts favoured the Mother, but my partner gained full custody of his kids. She had ran away with a man she knew for 6 weeks, totally abandoning her children, didn't even call them, everyone thought something terrible had happened to her. Yet she was so narcissistic that she believed a year later she could waltz back in and take the kids back. She turned the tears on in court, we really worried the judge would fall for it, but he said dry your eyes lady, I know all the tricks! When he awarded custody to my partner I don't know how we didn't all jump to our feet and cheer lol. She never kept up with contact after, and hasn't seen or spoken to them for about 8 years now. As sad and vile as that is, they are all young adults now, we have finally got them through their trauma and they think of me as their Mum now and have my kids as siblings. I hope it is a happy ending for your friend too, it is the hardest thing to go through xxx

[@mndldvs1]

@Dawn Green Oh my goodness Dawn. It’s not very often I come across someone that understands! For some reason people don’t think that women are capable of treating their children this way. I think these mothers are much more covert, they seem to be able to convince people easily that they are innocent. Some of the things you shared are so similar to what my stepkids mother did too, although it sounds like you went through hell for a lot longer. I can relate to your experience as the oldest child so much, as my eldest stepson being 10 at the time witnessed so much more than his siblings but he buried his emotions and trauma and happened to unfortunately be the child that behaved, where as his younger siblings acted out massively and my step daughter being the only girl and the youngest seemed to get the most attention and support. The youngest were wild at school and at home and were referred for counselling etc whereas he suffered in silence. Like you, his experience was not just limited to her abandoning him, he had suffered 10 years of abuse and witnessed so much that his siblings don’t remember. A few years ago it all came out and he told me he was suicidal, finally opening up and asked me to help him with getting to see professionals, he was so painfully introverted he could not pick up the phone. Their mother has had 4 more kids too, and when she did have contact it was only to tell my stepkids how perfect her new family was, they have met the eldest child and she too wanted them to babysit him while she chatted online to some guy. She was a very reckless person in general, driving like a lunatic with babies in their car seat, she was violent, smashing the house up, stabbing the furniture in front of them. She has no sexual boundaries, and this resulted in the kids displaying sexualised behaviours..Leaving them was the best thing she could have done really, she could have gone about it differently though. I’m so sorry to hear how horrifically you were treated, and for such a prolonged time, it’s not often that I realise that things could have been much worse for my stepkids, I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean by that. It’s only recently that I’ve found all this information about Narcissism and personality disorders/abuse etc. I wish it was available 12-13 years ago so I was able to help them and have a deeper understanding. My partner and I were just in a constant state of rage for about 5 years trying to process everything, I’m a very emotional person and I thought I was going crazy. The worst part was how people believed the crap she told them, they believed her when she told people that we were lying and had made the kids tell people about the abuse! Your grandmother sounds like an amazing person, thank goodness, it’s not easy to heal children that have been so mistreated! There was so many times where I nearly gave up, I just couldn’t find a way of reaching into their souls and healing the hurt, it was a constant daily battle and my children would also feel jealous of the time and energy I spent with the stepkids. I bet she is beaming with pride of the person you have become! A survivor. There are some good people out there. I hope you and your siblings are on the road to healing, I don’t think it ever leaves you but I’ve seen that it makes you want to be the best person you can be, as far away as possible from that horrible woman. Much love xxx

[@sherryripepi6024]

@Dawn Green You are inspirational and inspiring, keep sharing your story, you might save lives. xoxo

[@michaeljensen4650]

I am happy to hear that your friend was able to hold on to her children, however we need to bring some balance to the larger discussion and shed some light on the ugly truth of what is really happening in our society. Dr Ramani is extremely biased and gaslighting the public. The court system rarely gives full or even joint custody to fathers, even good ones. Most divorces are 'no fault' divorces and end with a court enforced redistribution of communal property, half always going to the wife. Narcissists rarely win in divorce court unless they are a woman or powerful and well connected. Women generally are the beneficiaries of divorce. Not all men are abusers or narcissists but all men get fleeced in divorce court and have their children taken from them. This is by design. The family court system is biased and stacked against men. We can waste time blaming the system or we can assign responsibility where it belongs. Women who are more than willing to game the system use their protected status and the power of the courts to strip men of their wealth and take away their children. These are facts not opinion. Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 75% of divorce petitions are initiated by women. The wedding and divorce industry is a billion dollar business. If half of the Narcissists and Borderline in any given population are women who stands to benefit most from divorce settlements and custody proceedings. Narcissistic men and women are created by abusive, neglectful and exploitative Borderline and Narcissistic mothers. Leaving children in the hands of women like this is not good for the mental health and overall life outcomes of children from 'Cluster B' families. More commonly where you will see justice subverted by sociopaths, narcissists and the rich and powerful is in the criminal courts. Dirty cops, corrupt prosecutors and venal judges are paid off and routinely shame and vilify victims, threaten witnesses and let perpetrators get away with larceny, fraud, rape and murder.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

@@michaeljensen4650 interesting comment that you feel Dr Ramani is gaslighting. Her whole point is entirely agreeing with what you are saying here - that most narcissists get their way and are not brought to justice.

[@kimsnailcorner9682]

"They walk around with a joyless life"... That's enough justice for me 🙌 I have won my freedom from HIS behavior.

[@Niles-Guy]

Best way to heal is forgive yourself for ignoring all those red flags and take our time to reflect . Plus putting our faith in God and allowing us a second chance to find peace because a life with a narcissist is and will always be a manipulationship

[@marigolddeleon4564]

Amen!

[@lesliebucari4096]

My mother was my abuser and after 3 years of her brutal attacks she has moved on. The best part is that she is now with the Golden child. My scapegoat self has let go of her treatment and forgiven my mom. It feels so good to live my life free and I am growing more every day. I thank God that I don’t have to live in my mom’s shadow and I can see how wonderful I really am. The freedom of not being under her thumb has released me. It’s truly amazing. My faith and you Dr. have helped me Live again. Thank you for your kindness, God bless you.

[@sahpire75]

Never a truer statement

[@ellah9003]

Amen. Exactly what I am doing.

[@danarchambault8723]

Thy will out themselves , no need to help them , they live in a hell of their own making

[@travels360]

I could only hope that others will see who they truly are. I have given up trying to point it out to others. Waste of energy. They don't see past their "perfect image"

[@jessiecarmen22]

I needed to see this tonight it saved my life ♥️ I’ve been in an extremely dark place because of the injustice of it all. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@AngelicCreationsTV]

I hear you. Sending you miracle thoughts and angels of light and hoping you get some peace around the situation. ❤

[@Kathleen-p1l]

Hope you are feeling better! It’s such a process…..

[@rorolilred]

I hope you're ok

[@Hopischwopi]

Yes. There are a lot of awesome videos but rarely does anyone talk about the problem of injustice and how to deal with it.

[@misscindyasmr]

Hang in there. It’s worth it and it gets better. If you had nothing to offer they wouldn’t want to bleed you dry. Without you they are nothing. Please remember that next time you doubt your worth 🙏🏽♥️

[@laurajones5352]

You gain justice when you see the injustice in your relationship, see the red flags you missed and can leave it behind and survive. You grow with failures however, they will never change and they are never satisfied or happy. I'm glad I can cut out toxicity from my life.

[@charleneremillard574]

Perfectly stated.

[@elinashaukat7007]

I can’t even explain how much your content means to me. It saved me. It saved my life. I was drowning in grief. You saved me. God bless you Dr.Ramani!!

[@notnow7973]

These people do cause us to grieve.

[@timothygenaw2199]

The best revenge is no revenge. Just stop caring.

[@detjaggillar8081]

Exactly! Do not care anymore of him or what's around him in his life.

[@fastmail55]

Yes, and so is doing well. The narcs really hate that!

[@justChrisjones]

Yes!! ""Good fences"" make good nieghbors!!

[@anniejuan1817]

The best revenge is complete indifference.

[@jean6453]

Also - the best revenge is a wonderful life : )

[@papakael8247]

The only justice I had was my boys saw through the narcissists mask when I thought I'd lose them too. So grateful for that.

[@MaineEmOcean]

Very fortunate.

[@sois1569]

Doctor Ramani, I’ve been involved in a narcissistic relationship for 4 yrs of my life and it has destroyed me spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. I’m relieved to know I finally had enough and I don’t care about what happens to him anymore, I’m completely detached, it came to the point I just had enough. I’m an extremely caring person and I had never been treated this way. It shocked me to the point I believed I wasn’t good enough but I’m finally free. I’ve been listening to your videos for about a year and it changed my perspective, it gave me the knowledge I needed and the push to walk away from him. I don’t wish him any harm I just want to recover all the pieces of my soul he broke in these 4 yrs. I’m happy to finally let go of that which was silently killing my joy for life. Thank you!!!

[@BadmintonBombshell]

The best revenge was moving on with my own life. Three years out from my abuser I finished my master's degree, I'm living in a new town, have a great permanent job and a new partner. My abuser is back in my hometown doing what he was nearly 7 years ago when we met; living at home with his mother and unemployed.

[@sueshe5953]

I love it!

[@MaineEmOcean]

So proud of you! I graduate next year at 50 with Bachelors. Yay for us!

[@maryluharmon3267]

I started to heal when I had freedom from the narcissistic abusers. If I sought revenge, they would still have power over me. That's not freedom. I choose freedom!

[@tanyadavis6138]

I had those feelings too! It was also about a years worth of healing, aloneness, reflection, no contact, prayer (12-18 months anyway). Yep, now all I feel is pity for them. 🙂 Happiness for me.

[@susannay.3437]

Exactly! Well put, MaryLu. ❤

[@roxanneschmidt8192]

Good point !!!! Better to be out of the devils web !!!

[@nahiedlaila9601]

Sooo trueee! Good for u!!! Take care of urself and ur wellbeing! No one i worth risking ur health over! Health is literslly wealth. Dont throw that away for anyone❤they will die from within seeing u happy thats true revenge! Thats their biggest fear and thats just the best revenge for us victims of abuse! Their karma will catch up on them sooner or later either in this life or after their death! They r not invincible and wikl get what they deserve and pay a high a price for their ongoing abuse to innocent lives. They have will to pay the price in the end and we have the luxury to whether to forgive them or notm what also helps i think is feeling sorry for them instead of resentment cuz that way they will seem a lot less intimidating knowing their lives sucks and they r totally miserable and want to drag u down with them to hell is enough reason te pity them and move on and forgetting about them! They r not worthy of our precious energy and time. Thats too big of price to pay to sucb narcs. They dont deserve anything from us. They have denied us mercy, love, empathy, happiness, peace, security, wellbeing, sense of safety, sense of worth, sense of humanity so we have all the right to deny all these precious things from them. They r true parasites sucking the life out of u and leaving u drained, empty, halfdead. I am truly exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally. The pain and torture is nonstop and very crippling. Endless rivers of tears crying my whole life, crying right now as i type. Feeling soo much pain, grief, anxiety, depression, stress, anger, resentment, frustration, betrayal, loss of worth and feeling less of a human being and unworthy of love and compassion. I feel destroyed and defeated but i dont wanna give up and let them win. I wanna walk away and never turn back but having nowhere to go and being super dependent on them financially. I dont know what to do. I am truly at the depths of despair. I really need help to escape from this daily nightmare that keeps getting repeated everyday. I cant even trust myself anymore. I feel like a fraud, a lifelong failure, like trash, unworthy of existence. Story of my life

[@debrafilipelli3801]

@@nahiedlaila9601 You will be okay. Try and go NO CONTACT with any and all of them! No Contact = Sanity for life!

[@olakhatima3831]

The movie “sleeping with the enemy “ is so satisfying to watch

[@wandanelson9888]

Yes! I may have confused that with ‘the burning bed’.

[@theiswithin3649]

Just like the movie " enough"

[@dlwsport250]

Sleeping WIth The Enemy seems to have been the script my ex-husband went by. I was verbally assaulted for leaving even a thumbprint on the refrigerator. This was the beginning. How on earth am I ever going to heal? Rhetorically asked.

[@carmellac2000]

@@dlwsport250 im glad i am reading EX, wow he sounds crazy

[@shivii3850]

Thanks!

[@Y.O.97]

Protect this woman at all costs. What a life saver 🙏🏽😭 I finally feel validated, seen and heard! Thank you!!! From the bottom of my heart for deligating your time to help survivors deal with emtions and traumas that are so hard to explain and understand. To every survivor of these miserable people, I want to tell you it was your light and your goodness that attracted the narc in the first place. They KNOW a good and giving heart when they see one. Do NOT let them win. Keep shining!

[@oravandroogenbroeck3234]

Thanks again. The only justice in my narsisistic story is that my ex-husband is now a very lonely old man, no friends, no wife (he had 3, all left him) and very little to no contact with the children. And that helps me a little. I am 71 years old, was married to him for 20+ years.

[@tabatasennadagracalopes5180]

Awesome!

[@cindyl7197]

I hate to say...... but I hope this happens to my ex.

[@annemccarron2281]

Mine was married & divorced 6 times. Had 5 children with 3 different women. He never married one. Died oweing me child support. And my oldest still. puts him on a pedistal.

[@denise9831]

@@annemccarron2281 here’s hoping you eldest has an awakening…and that they are not narcissistic themselves. 🤞🏻

[@marigolddeleon4564]

@@cindyl7197 HAHAHA. I feel you, girl!

[@deborahwilliams529]

The lack of justice from the flying monkey's experience is the hardest part because it continues the trauma of being vilified.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Deborah Williams,hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!

[@dorotheemackenbach4808]

So true.....

[@DianasStudioDesigns]

Well said 🏵️🌺🌻🕯️🌸

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

Flying Monkeys are the most toxic manipulators and also the most dangerous component in a triangulated emotional situation. Be VERY careful.

[@debrac1688]

Sorry, hugs

[@ambergrimm795]

"I'm letting you go." The most hard/emotional words I told my gaslighting, narcissistic husband of TWELVE years.

[@lindsenddddd12345]

im SO unbelievably proud of you

[@redaries2198]

Jesus! I got “Yea [new person] said i need to let you go”. Infuriating, but i’ve been trained by Dr. Ramani’s videos. Really dulled the blow.

[@ambergrimm795]

@@lindsenddddd12345 thank you

[@MsEconway]

I got you impose yourself on people 😳 18 years!!!!

[@shaunoftheshred]

After catching mine out cheating, knowing something had been off for months, being gas lighted and belittled, telling me I'm paranoid, she wouldn't look me in the eye, didn't react emotionally to anything I was saying at all just sat there like a dog being told off, until I called her a narcissist and boy did I get a reaction. I left the next day after 8 years, erased any trace of her, changed numbers, blocked everyone she knows and just left. I didn't recognise who I was looking at kus she was already mirroring the bloke she monkey branched over to. The smear campaign after being proved she'd been messing around was so ridiculous I'm grateful the majority of people know me well enough.

[@germainetanjiemin]

I just received my first paycheque today for my first full time job since graduation and I just want to say, thank you so much doctor Ramani. Your videos have helped to pull me out of a toxic relationship and in my weakest moments, I looked forward to your uploads daily as it felt like someone was there for me and truly understood what I experienced. Thank you for doing what you do and I am so grateful. I might also add that I’m much more at peace now than 4 months ago when I broke up with my narcissist. My current job is so fun and fulfilling and my colleagues are such a quirky bunch to be around! Life really does take the uphill with time :) wishing you happiness! Additionally, perhaps you could set up a patreon/gofundme account so we can support you directly rather than having KZbin take a 30% cut off our Thanks! 😝

[@DoctorRamani]

Hi Germaine! You're so sweet! And congratulations on your graduation and your first full time job! I wish you all the best! Thank you for sharing this with me. I really hope my videos continue to be helpful!

[@TheRealMonnie]

​@@DoctorRamani your videos are VERY helpful. Both of my parents are narcissists, and it blows my mind that all three of my sisters hate me for being the one who said "ENOUGH" and went no contact. They refuse to hear the truth and say I owe my parents for everything I have. I'm not behaving like a good Christian... 😢 I know my parents, and they're whispering in their ears about me... Now I miss out on my nephews and nieces birthday parties and family Christmas and Thanksgiving, Easter... reunions... it's very lonely, but your videos help me move forward. It's been 2.5 years and I'm still working through the emotional issues. My wife is a godsend for helping me through it. I don't know where I'dbe without her support. I thank God for her everyday.

[@earthkindsanctuary]

Congratulations on your first full-time job I remember how getting my first paycheck felt .🎉 Thank you for financially supporting this channel for all of us who can't manage to right now. We appreciate you ❤

[@thejollyhub]

I'm so happy for you 🤗❤️

[@pastorkaywhite-pkw5676]

I just to say that Dr. Ramani you are not only a wise Psychologist, you are so intelligent. The use of the language when you speak phenomenal.

[@pastorkaywhite-pkw5676]

Want to say**

[@margaritahadjipapa9831]

She’s amazing ❤️

[@tobehonest4833]

I’ve finally reached the “I don’t care” phase. I even lift them up in prayer every now and then. They’re oh, so pitiful.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

It is difficult to heal when I saw no consequence for anything they did.

[@earlyammusic]

Same here.

[@evolvingshan7970]

Yes!

[@TheWorldOfMonika]

I find it so gut punching for individuals who have been severely abused to not get justice. I know so many men who were molested as young men in the 80's. The justice system is another abuser only looking to lock someone up b.c its $. Most ppl in jail are victims who tried to protect/help themselves while the real criminals are loose

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@TheWorldOfMonika it is a joke.

[@CiciC2410]

I relate and it is still ongoing!

[@malibu90265]

By understanding narcissism I have been able to give myself closure. There is no justice. I learned so much about myself through a very painful relationship with a narcissist. I escaped with my life and gained freedom. I paid a high price, in every way.

[@ponytail911]

They eventually self destruct.

[@lisewinne4423]

I disagree. Child abuse needs an outcry and perhaps even demands from government. Let us not forget that narcissism gets its start from the family. The scapegoat lives forever with PTSD (PTSD reactions become involuntary by the time a child is an adult). Then the dangerous parents try to do their destruction behind the scenes to the scapegoats who prefer to leave. This needs a movement, similar to the Civil Rights movement, or child labor laws.

[@danielkaiser8971]

The narcissists may eventually self destruct, but by that time they have already done serious damage to others.

[@Acetyl53]

I will help them self destruct.

[@mariee.5912]

@Cool Repurposing Passé Tech I know I am dealing with a narc coworker and she is winning. I can't be so malicious. I am about to quit.

[@Acetyl53]

@@lisewinne4423 I agree in all but the government. That avenue simply cannot be pursued, especially at this particular place and time. If you try, bit by bit, you're going to end up with something like the USSR or Brave New World. The idea of standardized periodic mental health screening and subsequent filtration, or manufacturing the ideal standardized citizen by placing them in state facilities from an early age, is not new. The Soviets were particularly fascinated with cybernetics and the role of the environment in modulating and behavior. To quote a report of the time: "As one Soviet author puts it, cybernetics [use of the human system of feedback and internal control] can be used in molding of a child's character, the inculcation of knowledge and techniques, the amassing of experience, the establishing of social behavior patterns, all functions which can be summarized as control of the growth process of the individual. Students of particular disciplines in the USSR, such as psychologists and social scientists, also support the general cybernetic trend." I can see the rationale in further transferring the role of the parents to some state apparatus, but I think the risk in establishing formal mechanisms to further dissolve the family unit and its role in personal development, is too great. Not that what either of us thinks matters. The world will eventually, probably within the next 10 to 30 years, create some sort of machine-God which will do exactly as you described, one way or another. This will incentivize and punish, to regulate the broader human behavior.

[@chefdeena]

Success is always going to be the best revenge 💯.

[@sanrei5911]

Yes, but careful to not want to be "successful" just because you think it would hurt them. It's just another proof that they still have a hold on you, I think. Actually, I prefer for them to not know anything about my success and to think that I am miserable, because I know they would try to ruin my happiness if they knew of my success. ;)

[@sarabechtler7921]

Success is freedom 💟

[@seld6019]

@Assala B I agree with what you have assessed and decided. I feel the same way.

[@karmakarma9239]

@@sarabechtler7921 There is life after narcissism !

[@chefdeena]

@@sanrei5911 i totally agree, that's how I know I'm healing... he has no idea of my wins...I don't post it or boast it.... that's not to say I'm totally "there" yet, but I'm working on it ☺... another way that I know I'm healing is when I find out about his losses I'm not celebrating anymore..

[@Itsgonnabeok4]

Imagine not suffering in that way anymore and meeting someone who actually loves you and who you are allowed to love.. that’s the best case scenario, that’s justice

[@angiesmith9293]

There are so many narcissists and broken people that I fear I might not ever find my person.

[@typical_snowflake]

Yes!😊

[@therealsachin]

This is the best video of all! Ironically, You know you have healed when you stop watching DoctorRamani and Surviving Narcissism channel videos.

[@Lynch888a]

Exactly, reading comments "I'm fully healed and don't care about him" makes me laugh, cuz if you are here, narc is still in your head.

[@leannethomas9797]

Yes, my narcissist just moved on, he has more money after spending all mine, has a new woman and I am alone. I'm trying to be indifferent but I'm not there yet.

[@susandickson637]

I understand ......

[@kellygilmore334]

I was in the same exact situation. The healing is such a sloooow process.

[@kellygilmore334]

@Happy Dog IM not on Facebook anymore for the same reason. 3 years gone now and never 1 post about the loss of me. His whole family cut me off ?word.

[@geekyarleenie]

@@kellygilmore334 too slow.

[@geekyarleenie]

I filed for divorce two years ago. He's already remarried and no consequences for what he did for 18 years.

[@the1betterpodcast84]

This comment is dedicated to everyone caught in between hope and fear for the next year. Hugs.

[@SouthernGirl89]

Thank you.

[@Sycksyde666]

Same

[@capnhunch4095]

I finally realized she was lying to me the whole time “to keep my feelings from being hurt” and gaslighted me whenever i would communicate honest feelings about how her actions made me feel. If they ever make you the bad person for feeling bad about what they did - get out.

[@Zoya194]

If they ever make you the bad person for feeling bad about what they did - get out. Priceless.

[@chefdeena]

This should be on a Tshirt... "If they ever make you the bad person for feeling bad about what they did - GET OUT" I'm seriously about to print this on a shirt 👕 😫😫😫

[@shellym1736]

Mine unfriended me on social media and left for ever, because finally I had decided to tell him how his actions had made me feel. He is my sexual and emotional violater by the way. His going away made me feel paranoid, "did I do anything wrong by telling him exactly what he is? " Many months later, I still feel the bruise.

[@Canaday291]

the psychopath narcissist ex I divorced this year and my grown children further punish and weaponize my pain and suffering against me by triangulating with each other gaslighting projecting blaming me for what their dad and now what they are doing back onto me Which has caused me to be the demonized villain and alienated from my family It’s makes you feel like you’re going insane and drowning as you’d think one of my children would throw me a life preserver when instead it’s a cement block

[@travels360]

Yup. It's a good reminder. Well said

[@born2breality]

I sought revenge after years & years of dealing with the unfairness. All the lies just became more than I could bare. So I decided I was going to teach her a lesson, but I'm the one who got the lesson. I can't beat her!!! She took what I did & bit me with it. Used it to turn my whole family against me. Give it to God, because you won't win. Being evil comes second nature for them. We're just not made to be like them. So don't ever allow yourself to get so angry that you're willing to stoop down to their level.

[@salettamyers8845]

We have definitely been refined through the fire- changed us into someone we never knew we could be- You are a true blessing Dr.Ramani😇🥰

[@zillinalovedance]

Only way I can think about it is , they were a real cruel teacher, the hope is what we learned .

[@pyiushsharma2166]

GOD BLESS THIS WOMAN.🤗

[@AshleySmith-yf7ig]

Dr Ramani, thank you!

[@FaithfulandTrue777]

Amen 🙌

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Saletta Myers,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@sanjanashenoy5724]

When I finally announced a breakup with my narc ex of 4 years, the last thing he asked on the phone was "Do you think you will ever find a better man than me?" I said "Yes, I think I will." He instantly cut the phone. That was our last conversation. I'm still in the process of healing myself but not having him in my life, is truly relieving and liberating.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

wow I'm here. She did The dame when i broke up. I was very stupid. I was there for only 4 months but Made me a terrible damage. I needed to validate myself for 2 months.

[@tiffanybrickner4194]

The best feeling in the world is when you get the weight of a narcissist off of your shoulders and out of your life because they often weigh you down and I love that comment do you think you'll find a man better than me my ex is a narcissist and his favorite line was you will never find a man as good as I was to you and I used to tell him I can only hope for a better man but the fact that he thought he was a good man is disgusting and unreal

[@Nat-oj2uc]

@@tiffanybrickner4194 ikr they're literally parasites

[@_so_ya_]

In my experience with narcissistic abuse, I was so relieved when he left the country that I didn't even question how or why. Five years later, a friend of mine who knew my story, had seen him on a TV show that helps victims of crime receive justice, and he had been extradited from the country he had hid in for five years, and was jailed for his acts. I finally had the courage to press charges for the hell I went through. He even had the nerve to press charges against me for false accusations, and the local police were clear that they did not believe him even for a second. Justice was served, thanks to the brave woman who shared her story, and I could begin my healing and therapy.

[@KatjaBaby]

Yes yes yes!!!! I am so glad to read this 🤍🤍🤍

[@mollypaskie5039]

It destroyed me, he just walked away I did everything for him. But I'm working on finding my inner peace.

[@alesiafoster7750]

The fact that I’m NOT them, is justice enough!

[@mau18reen]

I agree to this

[@paulsayan3177]

Hi Alesia, I couldn't image being them? Having a hole in your soul that you believed could only to filled with cruelty and then never being able to fill it.

[@aishwaryakulkarni3551]

❤️yassssssss

[@chelmrtz]

That part!

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Exactly! They have to live with themselves all the time!

[@ioehrj1141]

Doctor ramani it is therapuetic and quite refreshing to have the honor to watch your videos free of charge. You are an incredibly talented, passionate, and hardworking women. Thank you.

[@candyg2063]

You just summed up my story. Therapists said he wasn’t narcissistic because he was just such a nice guy. But the person they saw was not the same person I saw. After the divorce, he paid cash for a $500,000 home on the lake and his new girlfriend, who is the age of my oldest daughter, lives with him. My children and grandchildren want nothing to do with him. My justice is, I’m now living in peace.

[@Karinalarasart]

My estranged narc bio father abandoned me left to Mexico started a new life with a woman same age as me and had a daughter with her. I want nothing to do with him, but it hurts me so much.

[@therealbronxilla]

One thing that leaving my narc has done for me is make me appreciate so much more the people in my life who love me the way I am and don't devalue me. I can't ever take these loving friends, family and others for granted again. The darkness of my narc has revealed to me the light of love that I was bathed with by other people but was too blind to see.

[@MotoMantra555]

Both of my parents are medical doctors. My father, grandiose-malignant. My mother covert. My sisters, 5&6 years older than I switch roles of golden to invisible; both having extreme narcissistic traits. I’m the empathetic scapegoat that’s been trauma bonded to this dynamic for 30 years. I am doing everything in my power to break free from the cage and chains they’ve ordered me to be in for their comfort. I have a son now and use corrective emotional experience with him to give us both, but more importantly him a free chance at life. His biological father suffers from antisocial personality disorder and when I try to go no contact he teams up with my family to family mob me.. it’s a grueling dynamic and often I loose sight of my strength to pursue freedom. Dr. Ramani’s videos are profoundly helpful, and at times crucial for me to hold onto my truth. I will continue to pick the lock on these chains until I am free. Sending love and strength to all of the scapegoats out there.

[@boston22185]

🙌🏿🙏🏿🦋❤️

[@BellaVita1890]

From one scapegoat to abother, hugs!!!

[@foreverhis5833]

I am scapegoat invisible. I am so sorry that happened to you. The only good thing that came from my experiences is that I am an extremely strong and aware empathic soul now. Maybe that was the whole point??

[@mervyngreene6687]

I realized when I ended contact with my family, I would never have"justice." I had a dear friend who gave me one piece of advice I needed to hear: "let go and leave it to God." I knew that I had to go on with my life. I have no desire for vengeance or retribution. I am happy with who I am.

[@user-mu3mx3sm5v]

"I am happy with who I am"

[@donnaderrico5392]

👍👍🙏🙏

[@ETTe316]

Amen!

[@susieneville5612]

Yes, Let go and Let God....when I let go I have seen a narc 'friend' in my life act put with others, having her behaviour witnessed is a sanity check....xxx

[@mervyngreene6687]

@@susieneville5612 I think the biggest lesson that I am still learning is what "let go" means to me. It is the same as "forgive and forget." When I let go or forgive, I do it primarily for myself. I couldn't survive with all the anger and pain these people caused. I grew up in a very competitive environment. My educational and professional environments were equally competitive. They were the perfect feeding ground for narcs and their enablers. These narcs knew immediately that I was not susceptible to their tactics, so I became the scapegoat/smear campaign victim. It used to eat me up trying to understand why this was happening. I had to move on. But for me, forgetting would have been fatal. What I mean is that I learned from each experience. I am more aware of the signs and I know how to avoid the most obvious pitfalls. I didn't hang on to the anger or pain. But by remembering all of it, I know what I stand to lose.

[@dionnemagyarpeterne3787]

This channel has literally saved my sanity... I now have a full explanation about the person I wasted so many years on... I feel like a new person.. The best revenge is mental freedom and personal success.. Be strong everyone and look forward to a beautiful and brighter future..

[@dbion1]

Wow this is what I needed to hear. My ex was a complete narcissist. He was emotionally mentally and physically abusive. Seeking justice currently in the legal system!

[@allthingsjana7870]

I hope you get it

[@chanellover2143]

Dr Ramani, Cinderella is the ultimate example of this! She had a nasty narc step mother and sisters and she ended up marrying a prince and lived in a castle while her step sisters remained single and stuck with their awful mother.

[@arielbonzai462]

We don’t really know what happened to her. The prince could be a narcissist who had her condemned to sexually degrading chores until she got too old to be sexy to him. Fairy tales are fuckery. They set us all up for suffering . Desire caused that and we want what doesn’t really exist. Prince Charming is bullshit,

[@lauraw.7008]

Read “The Paper Bag Princess”

[@HerbaceousSW]

hmmm... did she?

[@lizwoods6661]

I've been through two extremely difficult narc experiences and I'm the one who has ended up being alone. It sucks

[@yulingo5577]

@@lizwoods6661 I know the feeling. At least we are here together to share our pain and move forward 👍

[@kristinastaire9431]

This is why I liked “Gone Girl.” That’s how it ends. It doesn’t with these types. They never give up trying to mess with your head.

[@tracy3812]

“I was raised Hindu & that’s not how Karma works.” A great Ramini-ism! 😬

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

Indeed.

[@emalanispeaks883]

So helpful because wanting justice keeps you bound to the narcissistic merry go round. Losing everything and having to start over seems hardest for me.

[@susanhunter5626]

I need to listen to this 20 times

[@aishageorge3056]

How does one get over the injustice of having to co-parent with a Narcissist who is a popular professional athlete who makes 30k a week and is Withholding child support while I struggle to care for myself and my son...10 years and I just feel a huge injustice. I recently used my savings to get a Lawyer. Wish me luck! ❤

[@irisvanlimburgstirum9878]

All possible!

[@ChooseLove1979]

Good job for getting a lawyer!! Get your child support. They can even give you back child support. Don’t hesitate to do that because the court will likely go in your favor.

[@ChooseLove1979]

30k/week? Get your money sis

[@lovecreatesfreedom]

Go public with your story that's one way

[@TheologyofRisk]

social media to make the club he plays for look bad

[@beverlytate2669]

I love how the first example of the justice is, “they die...”

[@jeszrah5889]

And worser: will stand fully alive before God and suffer for eternity in hell..

[@taneyat6_33]

@@jeszrah5889 Yes but since I'll be heaven I won't get to see the prior. I'm struggling to determine which one I would prefer.

[@truthh8597]

Dying is much better than the pain they make their victims feel. The only peace if they die is that they won’t be alive to torment you anymore.

[@estyrer]

The moment I realized my freedom was when I genuinely felt bad for the next person the narcissist I dated started seeing. It was so eye opening that I couldn’t feel this compassion for myself when it lasted. But now that it’s not me anymore, I feel lucky to be out. Thank you as always, Dr. Ramani. You’re a blessing. A classic narc themed movie is obviously Wolf of Wallstreet. He doesn’t get the punishment he deserves, though. Quite as reality would script it.

[@Bohemianrose888]

That’s wild you brought up the movie. That’s my narc ex’s favorite movie and deep down I knew why 😂

[@naveedrehman2987]

What I want more than anything is to go back before I met it.

[@SarahDale111]

I like your use of the word "it".

[@tabatasennadagracalopes5180]

Me too, but yet in a better version, like not stupid anymore to be with someone like it... we are growing to be much better =)

[@SarahDale111]

@@tabatasennadagracalopes5180 That's the silver lining right there...we learn hard lessons that change our lives for the better. Now I know what to look for. Now I know to set boundaries. Now I know to trust my gut. Now I know never to do that again. Breaking unhealthy patterns and healing childhood traumas. Hallelujah!

[@paulsayan3177]

I've met more narcissists since my first meeting with one. They seem to be people who want to inflict harm even if you give in to their control. But, after meeting my first one and getting wrapped up in their bullshit because of my lack of experience with these creatures, I am very equipped to withstand, resist, withdraw from these idiots. Unfortunately, I have a younger relative who I am convinced that is one of these people. I really feel bad, but I sent him a message that he will no longer be a part of my life. Now, I feel sad for these folks. If you want revenge their own behavior will do the dirty work for you, just let them be them.

[@arielbonzai462]

No you don’t because you’d meet them or someone like them anyway.

[@domoniquekyle7590]

I like to think that the “justice” is losing me. I know my worth (now), and know what I could’ve or how I could’ve contributed to my narc’s life, had it been a healthy relationship. His loss 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@joey_youtube]

WOWWW THIS IS POWERFUL AS FUCK THANK YOU FOR SHARING

[@SquizzlesWG]

You look good lol

[@zzz-o2p]

Yeah exactly. They could have had what they really wanted, genuine love and validation if they had just been nice. Now someone better will be getting that love instead. They'll come up with all sorts of stories in their heads to rationalize this and feel like they haven't really lost anything, like you were never good enough for them. But the truth is they wanted you, they worked hard for it and they lost, all because they couldn't stop being an asshole. My problem is that my narc abuser would project all their behaviours on me so whenever I write something like this there's a small part of me that feels like I'm describing myself instead of them. I think that's what did the most damage, even though logically I know what they did.

[@getrudemwaura946]

I have accepted that the Narcissist came to my life for a Purpose . And this is to Heal Myself . I am working on myself not caring what he does. To me that's a Great justice.🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞

[@jewelmathewson2997]

They may move on, but they are still miserable inside. They don't sleep, there's no stability in their life. That's the justice.

[@Lynn-jl2yz]

right on

[@migz9932]

This is wrong. A narcassitic doesn't sleep? Really?? Mine slept within one second while I cried my eyes out in the next room and proceeded to snore so loudly you could hear it in the entire house. I even suffered months without more than 5-60 minutes of sleep Since when do narcissists ever feel guilty or worry over what they did ... All the normal thoughts that keep normal people up at night? Since when do they loose sleep over hurting others?? Maybe only the ones with active minds and insomnia loose sleep but definitely not because they lonely, hurt others etc. The ONLY time he could not sleep was if there was something extremely important for his image (like an important meeting to get a promotion) the next day or something he was extremely exited for.... Even though he was so distressed when his mother passed... The second he was in his bed .. he fell asleep within minutes.

[@forensicfaithinprofiling]

The justice is they live w an empty space in themselves and they don’t even know why they they feel uneasy every day. The justice is when you recognize ur far from crazy, and you’re offered a job bc you’re recognized for your sanity and communication skills! (That actually happened to me recently) The win is getting to do everything you were told you shouldn’t do. The win is when you realize ur nothing like they tried to convince you that you were. The win is when you go full no contact and starve them from knowing anything about you so they can’t Hoover. The win is when you live healthy and ur not laying in a bed dying. The biggest win is making decisions by yourself and pursuing your dreams ... And I might be a bit narcissistic saying this but the narc finds out ur living ur dreams, but can’t do anything about it. The very sad thing is you know the new supply is in danger and there’s nothing you can do to help her. I wish justice for that alone, never mind my justice. I’m alive. That’s a win to be alive. I weep for all victims stuck in this very confusing long term dynamic . Thank you Dr Ramani. U talk about some excellent topics no one is addressing.

[@deannahudson6873]

Beautifully spoken...Amen...

[@donnaderrico5392]

👍👍

[@pricillageorge6593]

Well said

[@jaynewayne493]

That's a win to be alive and now thriving

[@liviamoreiralima3536]

How do they know about your happiness but cannot ruin it? Please, how are you this safe?

[@mariajosequevedoserrano8130]

They eventually bring justice upon themselves with their amazing personalities. It's just a matter of time.

[@bobtaylor170]

I think that's true. Somewhere down the line, they blunder in a way which is catastrophic for them. I've had two, neither of whom knew the other. One ended up in prison on a felony of psychopathic proportion, and is DONE as far as having a pleasant life is concerned. The other, a cousin, got exposed in the media as a laughable and not very bright phony. He still has his father - in - law's money, but from what the Internet tells me, I gather he's lost most if not all of his reputation, and with that, his business.

[@mp4455]

Are u being sarcastic?

[@swanam_1]

Exactly! This kind of mindset has helped me not to worry about my ex painting me in a bad light. Their true colors will be revealed eventually.

[@jenniferpilon2843]

"Mommy Dearest", spot on narcissistsic mom and scapegoat daughter!

[@alexandriascott4656]

Yea exactly 💯!

[@peekaboo21284]

I can't even watch it without crying.... Great movie tho!

[@eleodel1]

Borderline mother

[@judithosouna3389]

B

[@judithosouna3389]

O

[@TheWrightEmilie]

Narcs are everywhere. I’m an empath working in the film industry. I’m having to give up my dream to avoid burnout. This video really helped me be at peace with what I can’t change. Life is too short to ruminate about the undeserving. Thanks again

[@chearts2572]

I had a narcissist lay me off from my dream job to replace me with her best friend. I was devastated. But it just so happened that I was the only one who knew the coding for very important monthly reports to the company's president. She was fired the third month that she didn't turn them in. It was satisfying.

[@kered2400]

Thank you for this. I just ended a 4 year relationship with a narcissist. I’m trying to get beyond it. It leaves you soul less, confused, like YOU had the problem. Even during my cancer diagnosis and treatments, it was about her. Her compassion was transparent. Her lack of empathy was palpable. She helped spend thousands of dollars and discarded me after my purpose was filled. I’m broken, confused and hurt beyond measure. I know in my heart this is the best for me. But it hurts so bad nonetheless. I’m trying to remain positive and not go to that dark place. Reading your comments has helped me work up the courage to comment. Thank you for listening.

[@julietcrowson3503]

Bless you Prayer helps some people too Richard Grannon did a KZbin video in Serbia recently where he discusses codependency, which might also help you Good luck We'll be fine when we've recovered more and have the strength to rebuild our lives ✨✝️✌️🌼☯️🌍🕉️🙏☮️🙂

[@afterthestorm9355]

We will get through this. Let’s be compassionate towards ourselves!!

[@cyndimoring9389]

my partner can't divorce his narc ex because she's waiting for him to die from the cancer he contracted while married to her, working his ** off to make her rich...............

[@puneetkohli2527]

Somewhere god is there n may god bless you these people use n throw

[@samhassan9448]

Sending you so much love

[@care59801]

The justice is doing everything they thought you "couldn't" do. It feels like you're on shaky ground at first but I promise you it will be worth it and so sweet. It will give a nice confidence boost for you. They might poo on it or try to dull your shine, that's just their insecurities though

[@IndorilTheGreat]

Your statement about people in their lives "needing to walk on eggshells and protect the narcissist" rung true with me - I definitely did that with my ex, and her friends did it with her as well. It was an exhausting way to live. I barely managed it for two years; I can't imagine doing it for an entire lifetime. I no longer need to walk on eggshells and protect my ex, nor do I need to ever do that with anyone again. I *have* gained my freedom, and it feels good. Thank you for your content. It helps in the healing process.