How To Help Child Overcome Fear

[@SaraM-wz7zz]

My nine year old son has anxiety, struggles to be by himself in our home (day or night). Fear of being sucked into the bed and suffocating or being stabbed by a person who comes into the home. I’ll continue to use the techniques you suggest. I’ll also practice empathy; remembering that it is hard work to change our minds. I’m continually working to manage my anger and screaming. But I’ll remind him that we can both improve in our challenges.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sara M, it might help to have him talk to someone.

[@victoryo8000]

This is great! My 13 year old daughter was afraid of walking to and from school. She is afraid of being kidnapped. We have played the what if game and have had the chance to open up dialogue about what to do if a stranger does approach them when they are alone or with friends. Just to vouch for Paul, the imagination of a 12/13 year old girl is stronger than mine. Also, shutting them down and saying that won’t happen, can also have them feeling like we as adults don’t respect their feelings. I’ve made that mistake in the past. I’m glad I’ve had Paul around to show alternative ways to talk to my kids.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Victor Aguayo, thank you for sharing. I am happy to be with you on your journey.

[@kendale2003]

Oh! This Makes SO Much Sense!!💯 ...and the breathing techniques are quite useful💨👨‍👩‍👧‍👧🏆 Team Paul👊🏻 All The Way!!👏 Everyday!!!👌

[@yvette.3075]

✊🏻

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kendale N' Tatoo, glad the video was helpful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks.

[@kendale2003]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV It really was!! and I enjoy scrolling through LiveOnPurpose's playlist just to see what's offered before I wander to google for random advice.. Seriously, Best Advice Ever!👍 Imho; I find it's always clear, understandable and thorough... (even amusing when Vicky joins in!!!) ⭐# Team Paul⭐ AND ⭐# Team Vicky⭐ ⭐EachDay-EveryDay⭐

[@prickly_patroller_YT]

✊🏻

[@in1606]

Dr. Paul I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! thank you for all the youtube videos that I can watch all the way from Bangladesh. Thank you! Best wishes for you and you family❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome, I love that we can connect through KZbin.

[@MrG__2]

One of the reasons Inside Out is one of my favorite movies (kid or adult). Thanks for all you do sir!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Zazen Stoic, my pleasure.

[@marcysikes]

Thank you! My granddaughter saw something on a video that scared her (yes, I try to be aware of what she is watching, but this happened anyway!). She told me it scared her and she was upset. I asked her to tell me about what she saw. I told her that it wasn’t real but it was really scary. We cuddled. We read and looked at baby pictures of her and let her cuddle with the cat. All things she loves to do. These things worked a time or two but then it got worse. She is fine until we go to bed. I sleep with her when she is at our house. She wants to see us but no longer wants to spend the night. She calls it the bad dream. Her parents have talked to her. I am concerned and don’t know if I should try talking, to her about it again or just give it time. I have told her I understand why she doesn’t want to spend the night and that is okay. We can still visit. I don’t want to add to the problem by pressuring her to stay over night. I will share with her breathing exercise with her as soon as possible. I practice LaMaze breathing when I am upset. It does help! Thank you for this video!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Marci S, I am glad you are not pressuring her. She needs to mature a little to understand that the scary thing is not going to happen at your house. Give her positive memories at the house and then as she develops a bit she will probably want to stay.

[@jenniferbtoo9344]

Hello Dr. Paul, Future video topics on parenting children with brain differences due to drug and/or alcohol abuse in the womb would be helpful. Specifically, anger management, calming techniques and handling defiance in preschoolers in a positive, effective way. We are coming up on our 2 year anniversary of adopting our twin girls ❤️ Thank you and God bless you and your family!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

rjtooill rjtooill, God bless you and your family. Thank you for the topic suggestions and I am honored to be on your team.

[@yvette.3075]

Your explanation is helpful in so many levels and we'll be practicing it, thank you!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yvette D., honored to be on your team.

[@rencho8236]

Can you talk about having only one child? Great video as always:)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

REN Cho, sure, I will add it to the list.

[@sabinachka17]

I love your videos, thank you for helping me be a better parent ❤️!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

sabinachka17, honored to be on your team.

[@binduvijay8372]

Your vedios are very helpful... Thanks alot 🙏🙇

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

bindu vijay, honored to be on your team.

[@mariyamdukuray9063]

My little brother is only 12 but suddenly begins to be scared of every liquid substance. He doesn’t want to touch or smell anything and keep repeating the fact that he is “trying to be safe and doesn’t what to die”. We tried talking to him and everything possible but it’s getting worst . He washed his hands 10 times a day and kept repeating the fact that “there are bad things (chemicals) in the environment and he does not want to die”. How can I help him? He is super intelligent and way too advance for his age so he base his fear on precise facts and research evidence which makes it harder to convince him. Can you please make a video about kids with scary thoughts and how to help them?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mariyam Dukuray, your brother needs professional help. Urge your parents to take him to his doctor for a recommendation before the behaviors get more intense.

[@sukiecastillo2351]

Sounds like OCD

[@kelsaadni4116]

Thank you, that is very useful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

you are welcome.

[@Dontdalla]

Thanks.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dontdalla, welcome.

[@randsaloumi4854]

Please can you try to help us simplify the concept of fear for 4 years old because what you said is great but it won’t work with younger kids

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You realized something that is true and will stay with you. Well done.

[@Gshkent]

I love your animation stories!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gshkent, thank you!

[@hollyndolly397]

My 8 year daughter had an pee accident one time in school. Now she doesn't want to go to school because she is afraid she is going to do it again. How do I help her through this fear? Your videos are so helpful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nicole Flamisch, show her how many days she has gone to school with no accidents and how that compares to one. Share with her how you have been able to get over something you were afraid of.

[@suzstewart3567]

Just found your videos and am finding them really helpful. I am a psychotherapist working with children and teenagers. Just wondering if you could please offer me some advice. I have a 16-year-old who has successfully worked through many issues with me, but I am getting stuck on one last issue she is having. She was in a minor car accident (everyone, thankfully was okay, (not even a scratch or bruise) last year and since then, needs to stay up till after midnight as she feels if she doesn't, something bad will happen. We have worked on the trauma of the accident, looked at how many times she has been in the car with no accidents, and other different angles but the habit has become hard to break, any suggestions, please?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

If she has worked through the trauma, it is more of getting her sleep patterns back. Have her exercise at least and hour or two before bedtime, no napping, no caffeine, quiet, dark place and she can learn to quiet herself and sleep.

[@Samwise_92]

Look into Peter LeVine. He's amazing and gives excellent advice on trauma trapped in the body. Totally worth a listen on KZbin!

[@Dontdalla]

Hi, great videos! Thanks. Quick question. My 4 year old boy has began biting his nails. This happens troughout the day. How can I get him to stop this habit?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dontdalla, Consider redirecting him when he begins or there is a liquid you can paint on the fingers that tastes horrible so kids won't put their fingers in their mouth.

[@kristenwalbright2579]

Lol mine sits in the floor and bites his toe nails off hes 6 and autistic have a hard time getting him to understand things

[@mautse7120]

No way... Just what I needed ;-))

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love it when the universe aligns like that.

[@asktoanamika]

My son 9yrs old, otherwise intelligent and scores well in subjects. He has fear in maths, its not the fact that he doesnt understand it, even if his preparation is good but then also he is not confident in subject or exams. Whenever he gets less marks, we always encourage him by saying, its ok, next time we will practice even more. but i know he knows everything and practiced quite well, but still couldnt find any solution. Pl guide me how to deal with it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ask to Anamika, focus less on the score and more on his effort. He will stick with it more long term if his effort is rewarded. Try some relaxing breathing techniques and see if that calms him when he goes to take the exam. There have been a few studies that show when a scent is inhaled while studying and then the scent is there again when taking a test, that recall goes up. More studies are needed, but it looks promising at this point.

[@queenqueen7731]

Dr is fear a sign of low self esteem? my daughter is 11. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

queen queen, not necessarily. It could be something else. Hard to know.

[@kristenwalbright2579]

My son is terrified of public bathrooms hes 6 and autistic he just started getting to where he would go at 5 years old...this is presenting problems in school and travel. He will go through motions sometimes with teacher but will not do it...its hard to get him to understand things sometimes. Do you have any tips. He would rather pee on himself than to go in public but tortures himself holding it

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kristen Walbright, give him incentives or rewards for going. Would it help for the teacher to send him to the nurses office to go a couple of times a day? Ask for a meeting with the school.

[@kristenwalbright2579]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV nurses office wouldnt hurt to try it good option...he likes but is not motivated enough by incentives at this point had the same problem when I tried a couple of time before he was actually ready. One of the days I was trying him at random he was like ok and went I though maybe it just finally clicked for him and was relieved because he was getting ready to go onto kindergarten. Now it's ok at home and mamaw but he wont go anywhere else. They have given check Mark's stars happy face candy toys and stickers and I think that has helped spur him along with them as far as they have gotten plus the familiarity of the bathroom they keep using but he is still afraid and still will not do what he needs to do. Hes not even that far along with me. But also if we have to go in somewhere and I'm trying to make him at least try it's not going to be the same bathroom every time. He stands with his back against the stall door and you try to talk him into trying he gets anxious upset and panics.just not sure what to do with it

[@imperfect13]

I have a question that has nothing to do with this video. I need help 😭When should I get my child evaluated. He is 6 years old. Since pre-k the main concerns on parent teacher conference is he talks too much and he doesn’t focus as if he is “la la land.”. For example, they tell the students to take out the textbook and needs to be told again.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

nazerah08, he is definitely old enough to be evaluated and it wouldn't hurt. Just look at it as gathering information.

[@mysobermission2509]

Im struggeling with my 3 year old who is constantly scared of noises he doesn't understand in the house. We moved 10 months ago and it seems to be getting worse. I've limited tv as im worried this is playing with his mind. He tells his grandmother her doesn't like her (she lives with us) because she makes noises moving about the house. Im just stuck as how to help him understand. He says there are monsters and ive told him monsters are not really but he thinks they are. He takes everything so litrally right now. I've just got him through being able to understand that I will be picking him back up from nursery as he thought I was going to leave him 😭 and not come back. Poor little thing is just all confused with covid, being home then not being home its all to much for him. Please help 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lesley Webster, it is a lot for our kids to take in. Be assuring and positive. He will get used to the noises. Smile and assure him he is o.k.

[@mysobermission2509]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV yes I've done all that and im consistent with it daily. I've also thought about maybe writing him a letter from the pretend monster from monster vil saying that no monsters ever come to our house as his granny is to scary 🤣 but then im lying to him which i hate doing to any of my kids. We did the door open if yiur quiet and shut if yiur noisy and wow its helping. We have introduced a grow light and he only gets up when the sunshine comes out now, only took 2 days and he understood what he needed to do. The noises are still an issue but we are working on it. Thank you for your reply its really appreciated 🙏

[@sanjogxtha1145]

My uncle died by suicide and from That day I become so anxious that whenever I sit in room alone automatically negative thoughts come plz help sir I’m only 14 yrs old I want to live life

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sanjog Xtha, suicide is tough because there isn't a good ending. You need to realize what you can learn from the experience and how you want to remember your uncle. What would he want for you? Not the same, he would want you to live your dreams so concentrate on those. Do it for him.

[@duchessdelarue8781]

My kid is scared someone is going to shoot me when Im away from him. So he doesn’t want to be without me for one second. He refuses to go to school. He knows it’s irrational but he can’t help it. Do you have a video about separation anxiety ? He’s7.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Duchess DelaRue, I will add this to the topic development list. Please consider having him talk to someone as this should be dealt with while he is young.

[@hollyndolly397]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV yes! Please do a video on separation anxiety and/or school anxiety. I have 2 daughters experiencing this right now.

[@rockyayyy5505]

My six year old hyperventilates and cries when he gets scared. I trying to help him. It’s every single night. He doesn’t even want to be in a room by himself in our home 😭

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You sound amazing to want to help your brother. I hope you figure out what is happening and a way to help him.

[@rockyayyy5505]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV he’s actually my son. He has said he wishes he was never born because he’s scared all the time. Last night, he started hitting himself because of how frustrated he was. I don’t know how to handle the situation. We’ve cut off scary shows, KZbin, I try to create a soothing environment at home. But he works himself up so much.

[@hollyndolly397]

@@rockyayyy5505 I hope you have figured out something to help your son. My daughters are the same way about going to bed. What helps us is to sit in the room with them until they fall asleep. I'm not sure if that is good advice or not but it works for us. A therapist may help as well.

[@BrianDonato]

I appreciate the content - parents need to instill courage in their children. The last video on my channel is on raising my son to be courageous. For those reading this, face your fears & courage will come!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love it! Thank you, Brian Donato.

[@benjaminbrown5245]

I remember when I was a child I was scared of the cuckoo clock. It was a sound I had never heard before and it was something that was weird sounding for me. Beings that I couldn’t see it I heard this weird and strange sound and I couldn’t make it out. Well, at night when we all went to sleep I heard it and the thing that made me scared was the unexpected sound of the cuckoo. I had this idea that it was going to jump off of the wall and come over and attack me. I don’t know how I got that idea. Even now 42 I look back at that and wonder what caused that. To hear it was very traumatic for me for some weird reason. I thought that the cuckoo clock was out to get me. I didn’t for the longest time want to have anything to do with a cuckoo clock. Then I had to learn to get over my fear of it. Really nothing as a kid really scared me to much. Just really cuckoo clocks and balloons. The fear of a balloon popping and the different shapes. It was abnormal with a balloon. Balloons should bee round I thought well, when I would feel different shapes I would scream. Too I sometimes have often analyzed this. It was something very unfamiliar. It freaked me out and I would scream bloody murder hahahahaha!!! I learned to get over my fear of this one as well. I had people showing me the way. And I think too as I started growing up I could really see the cause of this and I didn’t really need to bee freaked out about it but at the time it was so dramatic. Now I look back at that and it really seems very silly that I would even bee scared of these things. As an adult you see things from a different prospective.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Benjamin Brown, things can loom very large in small minds. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@bojanmksk]

How old the kid should be for this not to have overload effect on the kid

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Bojan Shkordovski, old enough that you can talk to them and know that they understand what you are saying.