How to improve your writing with ONE simple step!

[@schlumbl84]

This brought me to a realization: I seem to be a natural "show, dont tell" kind of writer. I want to leave it up to the readers mind how things seem and let my characters EXPRESS their feelings, rather than telling about them. If you wite about a couple having an argument, its toally unnecessary to write that they are screaming at each other "angrily". Every reader with more than two brain cells already knows that they are angry at each other. You have to use dialogue and their actions to show HOW angry they are. Their words,their expressions,their body language. Its as simple as that.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

This is also how I write (fiction), and is, imho, what most readers want. While I think the Show Don’t Tell principle has been over- emphasised and hyped, I still believe that a more visual and subtle style is the norm in finer writing today. Your account of your own style meshes with that in an instinctive way. Thanks for sharing.

[@stephenlogsdon8266]

Adverbs are also a great way to give a limited narrator a voice, specifically when one has many.

[@TimeslipNovel]

Good point. I'm going to try that. ❤

[@stephenlogsdon8266]

I guess my point, while I agree mostly about adverbs, these are tools in enriching the story, and care should be taken in their removal. After all, a writer shouldn’t limit one’s tools in writing.

[@johnjackson374]

Great video. I must say, you have a wonderful speaking voice.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@johnjackson374 thank you kind sir

[@bradrobertson4995]

There's a lot to like about this breakdown, but I do have some counterpoints. It's not that adverbs are inherently bad, but that the habits they encourage are terrible. Weak verbs. Filler words. That sort of thing. If you could use a stronger verb in a sentence, but your closest synonyms sound either pretentious or tone-deaf, then using an adverb may serve better to maintain the pacing and connotation. It might also be worth market-testing younger audiences before swinging the gavel. Styles that look flowery and wasteful to a grown man may sometimes provide texture and stimulation for kids. I say this anecdotally, but I recall that several of the girls in my middle school loved flashy dialogue tags (a similarly maligned style choice in writing). I always preferred the invisible "said" but I acknowledge that young readers who like variety in their dialogue tags do/did exist. It doesn't matter that they are/were inexperienced readers. An aesthetic preference can't be "wrong." (Other types of opinions can be, but that's a different discussion.) This is only a thought, of course. I worry that writers are too quick to hang their advice in an all-or-nothing frame, when exceptions and context are critical to the discussion, so I just wanted to play devil's advocate for a moment. Splendid video either way.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Thanks Brad. Insightful thoughts. Much appreciated. Especially the reminder that I must do a session soon on dialogue attributions! All v best.

[@Eutychus15]

This is great. In future I will meticulously go through my work and ruthlessly expunge any adverb that has in advertently mischievously, crept in.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Cheeky!

[@martinadavisstudio]

You are paving the way for us toward that 'Brilliant Craft' you mention, Mark! Packed with experience and wisdom. Thank you.

[@grimmdanny]

I find adverbs useful for other reasons: *Flow and Consistency.* Removing a word simply because it's an adverb can create an instance where it feels like I hit a sudden stop in the flow of text. Even in my head, I carry syllables from word to word to try and keep a consistent flow, or it feels jarring. "He leapt up and started *banging* his head *furiously* on the window." If I remove "furiously," the sentence becomes a bit lifeless to me. It feels as if I am hitting the brakes after reading "banging his head." And then I have to restart that flow with "on the window" because of how it *sounds*. "Furiously" acts like a descriptive *bridge* between the two sections of this sentence: 1) It gives life to it because the overall tone of this is cartoonish, and "furiously" becomes the trigger to evoke a much more wild image. 2) There are varying degrees of 'banging head,' which can be slow or fast. Furiously = additional context, such as it being fast and erratic. 3) It fills a noticeable gap for me to continue reading with a consistent flow. After the word "banging," my mind is still yearning for another multi-syllable word to quickly follow it; instead, without it, I would get four single-syllable words (his, head, on, the) until "window," and it *feels* like I am missing something in between, so it feels a bit lifeless. I used to be a snob about adverbs, but then I started to realize their uses outside of context and more based on my own reading habits, something I tried to change but simply couldn't. I'm ok with adverbs, but *obviously* in moderation.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Excellent response. I would still advocate ditching 90% of adverbs I see in manuscripts and using stronger verbs. However, you have almost persuaded me with the flow argument! 😊

[@johnheitmuller5386]

In just a few minutes, I have learned more about writing than most of my previous education. Thank you for this video.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

That’s so encouraging to hear. Thank you. Godspeed with your writing

[@thetributary8089]

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” One of my biggest gripes with grapes or wrath is that Steinbeck chose to end the novel with an adverb.

[@DorothyNorris]

Great tip. Thanks - now back to the chapter I've just written to take a look!!

[@stephenlogsdon8266]

Yes … regarding the speed, it is important to speed up and slow down the text. Adverbs are a great tool to do this.

[@Colorlightt]

I think that there's a different flavor between asking and asking curiously.

[@tomaria100]

I found this truly helpful and am abundantly thankful.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

I'm so glad!

[@misc.2331]

Adverbs aren't bad. I think this example goes to show that including adverbs, even more than one should, will not damn your book to the clearance aisle. Once again, this example shows that above all, a good story and natural prose will reign supreme.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

In 2024, I can assure you the lazy use of adverbs - a sure and certain indicator of telling over showing to a seasoned editor like me - will not make for compelling prose. It might have done in Rowling’s time when it was far easier to get published, but the bar is set so much higher now. Trust me. And adverbs are neither inherently good or bad. It’s the use to which they’re put that justifies those adjectives. Happy writing!

[@misc.2331]

@@TheChristianStoryteller Prose does not sell books, story sells books. The writing should get out of the readers way in engaging and experiencing that story. Nobody is reading a book they are invested in and thinking "Hmm, bashing implies furiousness, therefore furiously should not have been used. I shall not read this garbage any longer." Also, what is "showing" language to a child, may not be "showing" language to an adult. Jk rowling wrote for children after all, and children may find adverbs more agreeable to their imagination. Further, since HP is a whimsical fantasy story, the use of adverbs gives off a silly, fun character to the writing itself, adding to the world building. My point is that adverbs have their place and story > prose.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@misc.2331 you argue your case very well and I have complete respect for your POV. However, my point is that prose is the vehicle for storytellers. One of the things I am constantly stressing when I coach middle grade writers is this - make it your aim to be a great writer, not just a great storyteller. We need to set the bar high in both the vehicle (prose) and the vision (story) because we have a duty to kids to inspire them to do both. Tell a great story yes, but do it through the medium of beautiful prose. That requires enormous discipline which is something with which Lewis helped Tolkien. What we are talking about here is self-editing as much as anything. Tolkien became proficient in that thanks to Lewis’s input in the Inklings. That’s why The Lord of the Rings is the pinnacle still of what can be achieved when beautiful prose and the finest storytelling come together. I really hope if you’re writing MGF or something in that area that you’re a champion of both, like JRRT!

[@misc.2331]

@@TheChristianStoryteller Fair enough, and I appreciate that. I'm definitely not saying prose should be overlooked or isn't important. I think we just have them differently numbered in our list of priorities, which is fine. And I agree with you about Tolkien, and TLOR. I personally consider Tolkien the greatest writer in human history, so far. I think his writing is a great example of how prose adds to the personality of the world.

[@hglundahl]

4:19 To my ear, "curiously" conveys a certain tone. Sure, it could be gathered from the sober and matter to fact question. Asking curiously is not just the diametric opposite of asking because it's expected of one, something I hear lots of, but also a "slanted opposite" or oblique opposite of asking for instance agressively or in fear or in other ways that would not invite the one asked to detailed disclosures. Perhaps it's somewhat vulgar of me, but I think that is not _necessarily_ covered in "asked" but only in this context _probably enough._

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@hglundahl very well put. However, in coaching writers, I would always task and ask them to try and SHOW this through well-written dialogue rather than TELL the reader through an adverb. Really good storytellers can convey curiosity without resorting to adverbs.

[@infinitymfg5397]

That tip @11:15 was incredible. I never would have thought to do that until you pointed it out.

[@inaede]

Bill Bryson. Best use of adverbs IMO. Could you talk about him?

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Yes! Terrific point! I may have to do a short just on this. Thank you!

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Ps what’s your first name? If you’re happy for me to use just that, I can mention your v helpful question. Otherwise I’ll happily use a made up name

[@MrSindala]

5:04 'Secondly adverbs [...] make your sentences feel clunky and ponderous, whereas actually what you want is for [them] to flow smoothly and reasonably swiftly.' QED.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Very nicely and wittily done!

[@jeyhey5320]

Adverbs and « telling » might very well work and do actually work in many stories because they add to the information they convey the opinion of the narrator. Many good books have an interesting narrator and the reader wants to know what he thinks. But if you have nothing but a story and don’t have much more to add as a writer, it is probably better to stick to « showing » for your book.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Interesting perspective. Do you have actual examples of acclaimed works where the narrator’s personality is enhanced by their use of adverbs? It would be good to see evidence. Even JK Rowling has now confessed that she wishes she’d eradicated most of her adverbs!

[@jeyhey5320]

@@TheChristianStoryteller Sure, Don Quijote, The Brothers Karamazov, all books of Balzac, and Liasons Dangereuses come to my mind. The latter being an epistolary novel where everything is an opinion piece. Epistolary novels are in general a great example where „telling“ and adverbs works great.

[@jeyhey5320]

@@TheChristianStoryteller „Even JK Rowling“, Rowling is an author of children novels and foremost a commercial phenomenon. Every epoch in the past few centuries has produced a considerable amount of successful writers of which none have kept any relevance and are practically forgotten. If anything can be learned from JK Rowling it is that applying current writing best practices produce mediocre books, as her best books are the first two and all following could not match their level.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@jeyhey5320 thanks for the reply. The only thing I’d say is that you’ve chosen (mostly) novels from the 19th century which was primarily the age of telling not showing. Today, because of the rise of cinema, the advent of smart phones, and our consequent collective dependence on the screen, we are loving in the age of showing more than telling. Our age is visual and adverbs, when used by a narrator, discourage visual and immediate storytelling, and as I argue in this video, actively work and war against it. In short, today stories are shown more than told. Adverbs belong to a bygone age when they were told more than shown.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@jeyhey5320 very true (about JKR), and what creates durability when it comes to a work of narrative literature is a fusion not only of truthful content but beautiful writing. Adverbs militate against the latter. As does indiscipline. One of the reasons why most of the Potter novels will imho not be a permanent part of even our middle grade literary canon is the fact that the author failed to employ any controls over herself (especially with regards to book length) even while exercising control over others (eg editors, film directors etc).

[@emacarvalho7889]

Thank you, I will keep that in mind. You gained a new subscriber ❤🎉

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Awesome! Thank you!

[@sladewilson9718]

I was always taught the only time you need to use an adverb is when it’s a contradiction to the verb. Like aggressively creeping.😂

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Excellent!

[@graemewillis410]

Excellent video, instantly subscribed. Could i ask your thoughts on when and how to use adjectives correctly, if there is still a case for them that is. Lol.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Great question. I’m going to be doing a video on this in the new year, so if you’re happy to wait, I’ll offer a POV then.

[@graemewillis410]

​@@TheChristianStorytellerI look forward to it, thanks!

[@rallyrobx7604]

Dandelions are a sign if a healthy lawn. I like the video but when ever someone says to "not" do something and then gives examples of two of the most successful writers currently...take a pause and think. Adverbs have a purpose and should be used when necessary. Time to check out more of you videos.

[@JeffreyJuanitaTaylor]

How do.i become one of your students? Do you do private teaching?

[@CJBradley]

I took lessons from Hemingway, he is king for me. Thank's.!

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

He was a great pioneer! And a key character in my novel A Book in Time. He’ll be featuring a lot in my videos

[@CJBradley]

@@TheChristianStoryteller I'm quite sure you are a much better writer than myself. I'm listening and will check out your book when I get the chance. I should have been a journalist or something of that nature but took up engineering instead, but at least I'm writing now.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@CJBradley we are all unique individuals when it comes to creativity so I never think in terms of better but in terms of different. I’m so pleased you’re writing. Truly.

[@OlettaLiano]

How about, "Their eyes stared, unseeing."

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Nice!

[@SimonAlexanderMarlow]

What a shame that J.K.Rowling didn't realise this earlier, perhaps she'd have had more success. I bet she feels a right wally.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

What a shame indeed. Although one that could in part be mitigated if all her palatial lawns were cleared of dandelions …

[@samfranck2119]

A shame that some of the greatest authors in literary history did realize it and weren't as successful as J. K. Rowling in their own lifetime, but instead created high-quality art that would still be read decades and even centuries later after the literary crazes of the day had long subsided. For shame, I say, for shame!

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@samfranck2119 if I’m to be remembered at all as a writer - and I’m not saying that’s one of my goals at all - I’d rather be remembered for making great art than making big money!

[@SimonAlexanderMarlow]

@@TheChristianStoryteller I'm not a Potter fan but I don't think her writing is diminished by the use of adverbs. It's a children's book. Regardless authors aren't obliged to follow all these so called rules. If people enjoy reading what you've written then you've written it well. Being read is the only goal really

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@SimonAlexanderMarlow I respectfully disagree. Her writing is severely impoverished by these poor practices - ones that should have been ironed out by her editor early on (but which I suspect became a thankless task and a battle just not worth fighting). I’m a romantic in this sense - I believe that beauty (form) is as important as truth (content) and that the two, when richly endowed, enrich each other

[@dannyboy1983]

If adverbs are so abhorrent, why are they not expunged from the English language?😢

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

I think some should be expunged - great word btw! ‘Literally’ being first in the list. The few reality tv shows I’ve watched have been swamped with this word. Comments like, ‘my head literally exploded.’ Absolute verbal shambles. I reply in my head, ‘Well, how come you’re still talking then?’ Ps adverbs of place and time - which I mention in the talk - are indispensable and should never be expunged. It’s the LY ending words that are often lazy. Thanks so much for your comment. GB

[@natbirchall1580]

It's a kids book you do realize that right?

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

Are you referring to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? I’m not quite sure what you’re asking. If it is, how do you understand ‘kids’ (sic) story?

[@genvievestasinos6626]

☺️ *Promo SM*

[@Chociewitka]

You completely disregard the rhythm of a sentence. Sometimes a sentence just asks for a syllable or more to add, to get the sentence feel and sound complete and balanced, adverbs are perfect filler words to achieve that. Read the sentences above without those adverbs and note how dry and boring do they sound without them.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@Chociewitka I couldn’t disagree more! Filler words are the first resort of immature and indisciplined writers. Prudent and self-controlled writers believe, like anglers, in tight lines. You can achieve a fine effect of rhythm and musicality by using the best and the fewest words. In my decades as a writer and editor, I can tell when someone has not been mentored in this area. Redundant words like completely appear within the first sentences. Wink!

[@Chociewitka]

@@TheChristianStoryteller o.k. lets regard the example you have given with the adverbs removed: "Hedwig had woken up with a loud screech and was beating her wings against the bars of her cage." This seems completely random and not as her reaction to the unusuality of the current situation. Removing the adverbs make the whole sentence functionless for the given scene. The whole sentence could now be removed. But doing this consequently would remove about half of the scene. Which would made the scene feel far to short to carry much weight in the story.

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

@@Chociewitka what I’m trying to argue is that adverbs become redundant when stronger verbs are chosen. It’s interesting to me that JKR has not long ago confessed in an interview that the one thing she wishes she’d done earlier in her writing career is remove the adverbs for which she had such a fondness. Someone commenting here pointed me to that and I’m v grateful to them for that. I hear what you’re saying, and I’m not advocating for a total ban on adverbs, but my experience working with and coaching multiple authors is that once they and we start being ruthless with them, our writing - including the rhythm (I agree with you about the importance of that btw) - starts to improve within days. It’s like an editorial antibiotic. Thanks btw for engaging.

[@Chociewitka]

@@TheChristianStoryteller "what I’m trying to argue is that adverbs become redundant when stronger verbs are chosen." - well, then please demonstrate that within the given sentence, so as to keep its importance for the scene? Because - while it might theoretically improve an author overall writing style in a decade for now if s/he tries to avoid adverbs, this in itself does nothing for "correcting" the given sentence and upholding its function in the given scene.

[@_surreal99]

Smells like dyed chicken!

[@HardKillaz]

I ignored this advice no matter who gave it, but this time I finally get a reason that makes sense. I won't make any promises but I can't unsee it now, I know what makes adverbs bad. Thanks.

[@TimeslipNovel]

I'd pack all the adverbs I could find if I was going to sell like JKR. ❤😂

[@TheChristianStoryteller]

I know! Wouldn’t we all! ❤