How To KILL Your Inner "Nice Guy"

[@johannwilder1437]

It’s simple. Don’t be afraid to make enemies or have people hate you. Focus on your purpose and only concern yourself with the opinions of those you respect.

[@The1stHomosapien]

come on, like you respect anyone.

[@raalaa121]

if you DONT have enemies you are failing in life

[@zakhachemi3929]

@@raalaa121 yesssirr

[@icew0lf98]

I'm not afraid to make enemies, I just have a habbit of avoiding it

[@jonathankaranja405]

Johann that comment shows you the man God bless ya!

[@goodmorningweimerica9741]

There is no better way to build strength and confidence than going through hardship and relying on only yourself and God to get out of it.

[@thecarpentershow8507]

Going through real hardship make a man humble, hence nicer to people because he knows what real hardship is about and doesn't want other people to go through it?

[@jonboner1731]

@@thecarpentershow8507 idk about that. If anything hardship makes someone understand the essense of self preservation and purpose. So it makes someone less likely to be a pushover. Usually signaling aggeession and "rude" behavior

[@thecarpentershow8507]

@@jonboner1731 There's a reason why war brings peace in the mid-term. Someone who is going through aggression and "rude" behaviour is still at war with themselves and not quite over their "hardship". There are those who will never overcome hardship.

[@shawnbenoit3774]

Some dudes turn into lonely cynical assholes and call it growth while circle jerking with other lonely dudes about how self sufficient they are

[@goodmorningweimerica9741]

@@shawnbenoit3774 indeed some do. That’s why God is most important. He will keep you from becoming a coping douche.

[@ImBritoEric]

do the hard things and have discipline

[@AsheetBull]

👍🏼

[@gaetanop.4153]

100% i agree

[@omarthecupoftea7224]

Hahaha

[@6-98]

Not only do them but do it like you love it and then it is discipline

[@omarthecupoftea7224]

@@6-98 cope

[@gmchessplay9043]

I’ve come to realize that “your best self” is simultaneously existing as part of your unconscious. Your ultimate version exists right now, inside of you, it’s just an unconscious reality.

[@flob4585]

Facts, to make it even trippier its looking at you now through memories so yes simultaneous

[@lifebydesign9435]

How do you bring it out?

[@gmchessplay9043]

@@lifebydesign9435 Well one thing I can suggest is to challenge yourself to get really good at something you don’t like to do, but you know it would be rewarding to be good at it.

[@nathanhaynes598]

well spoken

[@ericyoumans2670]

7:45 Latin roots of words are awesome

[@usamakaram4538]

How to Kill your Nice Guy. Elliot Hustle 1- Never Judge Yourself, Be what you are and vision to become who you are. 2- Notice yourself, Self-awareness. Notice when you become Nice Guy and Replace with Bad Guy Mentality. Notice what kind of people triggered your Niceness? Where this pattern works. Be Observer, Just Watch and take Inventory. Don't notice based on Action, start take notice of movements. Self-awareness leads to Self-Control. All happens through the body. (Hack) Breathe deep with Grace. It's hard to be fake when you're Relaxed. 3- Trust yourself that you are more than enough. You have Confidence, keep surrendering. Always in a Being State. Practice Confidence. Practice being responsive in the moment,and the way you became responsive is just by being Relaxed,and how you can become relaxed is by Stopping and noticing being self-aware

[@nh6402]

Thanks brother✅

[@princeekeson12]

Sounds like metacognition. I can honestly say that even though I've gotten better, I still have to make a conscious effort every single day to push the "nice guy", people pleaser out of me. Therapy, meditation, and recover help me with self awareness.

[@alifakherddine785]

I find myself reverting to it unconsciously

[@jason-jc9bz]

I feel u on that bro

[@skillcoiler]

So your goal is just to be a petty douche? Not being a twat is not something to be ashamed of.... For such a "masculine guy and fans" as the few videos I have watched has suggested.... there sure is a lot of weak, what this guy would call "beta or soy boy" since he doesn't understand the ACTUAL facts behind those words, comments about things like being so worried about your masculinity that being a nice guy somehow threatens it.... Don't be like this guy or the guys like him just be decent and nice to people and live your own fn life. Guys who are always so worried about APPEARING "alpha or tough" are usually the weakest among us.

[@princeekeson12]

@@skillcoiler My goal is not to be a "petty douche." That's not what I wrote...AT ALL. I believe in respecting my rights and the rights of others. Furthermore, I'm not a fan of the whole "alpha-beta" paradigm. Humans are much more complex than that. I believe in being the best version of YOU. Elliot always talks about that. Take care bro.

[@skillcoiler]

@@princeekeson12 Well if you don't want to be a "nice guy" anymore kind of leaves some mix of petty douche. Glad to see you do not follow the alpha beta nonsense since the guy who first coined it, about wolves in captivity, said it was even nonsense for wolves in the wild. People who push this or the whole "soy boy" stuff always seem to end up over compensating for something. They always talk about weak "blue pill cucks" or something along those lines but then constantly whine about imagined attacks on them and their apparently very fragile masculinity. I mean ffs I was told by one of them it wasn't masculine to own a cat and literally called me a "low T beta" for having 3 strays I just couldn't find a home for so decided to keep them.... I am a Marine combat veteran. The guy who told me that works out a lot at a gym while he stares at himself in a mirror, definitely not for any sort of weird sexual fetish, and that's about it. But that is how weak and fragile these self identified "alphas" really are, they let others decide how manly they are by the random pets they keep and other nonsense.

[@tokyodrift1175]

ive always struggled with this as a 22 year old. whenever i interact with someone i have the need to smile and become extra friendly. the thing is i really dont feel comfortable doing that.

[@gagacrazy10]

Hi mate, I’m 40 and I’m struggling with the same thing at the moment.

[@electric0618]

I'm 22 as well but I think this video just solved my dilemma. This video is amazing. Everything he said was so helpful. Opened my eyes.

[@greencrocidile6246]

Yea 100 percent like I’m not like that I’m nice but not overly smiling responding to everything I get nervous my heart race rises

[@Darkstar-ux5yo]

27 here brother I’ve noticed the same thing in me. I’m a nice guy but when it comes to interacting with others I can overdo it. Not to mention I can be highly agreeable. Lol best to know our weakness now and convert them into our strength.

[@WhoeverDeniesMeIsKafir]

Then just be yourself without caring what other people say. Just be REAL. You may not gain respect early on, but you WILL

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

Throw yourself into challenging situations, first learn how to cope and eventually you'll thrive. That will develop your self trust and confidence

[@haroldmerewether1224]

My vocal chords often tighten and my voice becomes higher pitched when my nice guy comes out lol

[@vinnyhaddad]

Yes 100%

[@SR-uz1ov]

I can relate but also it gives off cuteness or innoncense which isnt bad

[@J0lker]

100% agreed, i sound totally different.

[@oranges557]

@@SR-uz1ov it is bad. People dont take you serious.

[@theerealatm]

@@oranges557 lmao people take Mike Tyson serious. Your voice aint everything...

[@keyonsimms1930]

Training in martial arts helped me evolved not as a person but as a Man . I'm still dedicated to be great in life. All I truly care about is my journey and the success that will come with it thanks Elliott for this lesson 💯💪

[@angelrivera-pu7lt]

I’ve lately been observing this and every time I’m with a girl I have any feelings towards mr nice guy takes over...vs when ever I speak with my mother for some reason mr.nice guy leaves very quickly and it’s almost like the way that I treat my mother is the way I should be treating every other woman and I should be treating my mother the way I treat every woman I have any feelings towards (current girlfriend/ex girlfriend etc) I’m very frustrated as to why this happens subconsciously no matter how aware I am about it AFTER the fact that I’ve been basically an asshole to my mom but I bend over backwards basically for all these girls and rarely ever speak to them with a short temper and assertive tone... if your reading this Dr.E...Please HELP ME🙏🏽

[@angelrivera-pu7lt]

Apologies for the typo...I meant to say(*And I should be treating every other woman the way I treat my mother*)

[@krisdalton1213]

Man I'm having the same realisation too!!! It's crazy I thought I was a lone in this...

[@FIFO333]

omgggg me too... and i’m a homosexual... but it’s the same thing. do you have a bad relationship with your parents? like they didn’t accept you unconditionally?

[@FIFO333]

@@hayden8491 i said homosexual. NOT lgbtqrstuvwxyz+.

[@angelrivera-pu7lt]

@@FIFO333 no actually my mother loved me unconditionally my whole life especially cuz my father wasn’t around until now that I’m 21 he’s finally popped back into my life and Ive noticed he does the same thing on the phone with his new wife that I do with my own mother which is..he has a very short temper and he raises his voice fairly quickly to put his foot down, basically he’s an ass hole , and when I observed that about two weeks ago I reflected on it since , especially after I get off the phone with my own mother, but when I talk to these other girls it’s a whole different story and to be real with you guys I kinda find it stressful that I act like a bitch(mr.nice guy) to these girls which only makes them not respect me as much as I should be but when I speak with my mother she respects me even though I turn into a douchebag when I talk to her and I now know that it should be the complete other way around but I’m stuck trying to figure out where to start to change this bad habit

[@brady1692]

Relaxation causes realness is so true that's why people are different when there drunk it's because there's no guard up your being yourself

[@ChristoVlogz]

For some reason this video gave me the motivation to trust myself again. Great video Elliot Hulse

[@RICHIE_RICH89]

Man i was brought up with a hard hard core dad he looked at you one time mad you knew to listen like right now he was known by everyone where i live that that was the guy you did not mess with. He cleaned bars out in his day . That and i grew up with three brothers that where hardcore. We paved our name in our city for sure . Not proud of it now i realize how awful and foolish we all wh were. Violence is bad. You grow up and have kids and do not want them to be like you. Different subject but the authority is still there for sure. Being confident is huge . Nice guys kinda do finish last unless you left a big big impact people know and do not forget. I call it respect. Anyways a blance of nice and being straightforward is a must. Kindness goes a long way. But today theres always a ass hole that is out there sadly . Self awareness is super huge in any situation. Good speech elliot. Nothing worse than somone thats mean but will not help someone in harm or someone of LESS STRENGTH. That is a huge thing i do not like. Good luck you all jave confidence and trust in yourself . Practice at everything the best people fail and become better and better.

[@domagoj905]

I noticed that there are a lot of people who only pretend to be nice just to get something out of someone.

[@benc4380]

Con (with) fidence -> fidelity (trust, faith): Build your inner trust by working on improving yourself and getting better, that's the only way for your concious and subconcious mind to trust and have faith in yourself. Amazing video Elliot!

[@johnlopez4441]

Just bought Eliot’s book King 4, this guy is the real deal, he exudes confidence but always trying to be humble about it , i may not agree with all his views but I sure am attracted to his “best version of yourself” approach

[@joshtrenchard462]

My nice guy came out yesterday & I got so fucking angry & hateful at myself… it’s a challenge to not judge yourself sometimes when you feel how much of a fake lil bitch you’re acting like lol. Great advice Eliott & shout out to all the recovering nice guys out there 💪🏻

[@stingforever]

Don't be nice, be kind. Being nice is violence to yourself. Elliot Hulse 2013

[@NoPhatChicks313]

Man im 25 years old, been a subscriber for a long time and just started pickin back up on your videos again recently and man timing could not have been any better. your insight on all these different topics in life are so refreshing and meaningful man thank you

[@Viral-Boss]

Gotta love Elliott. The things you say are so relatable to me. Thank you for everything man.

[@TonTon.2142]

This is actually golden material. It basically relates to the “frame” concept that gets tossed around a lot in TRP circles, but it’s a refreshing take on it. Self-awareness leads to self-control. Self-control allows you to better navigate your interactions with others, because you can make the calculated moves. Roissy said something like, “once you have control over yourself, you will have control over her.” Also, another one worthwhile: “confidence is the belief that, no matter what happens, everything is going to be alright.” Though, don’t get ahead of yourself. Arrogance is going balls to the wall without any regard for the consequences of your actions or what’s gonna happen when you press play in any given scenario. Anyway, this video’s getting added to the classics list.

[@PrestigeWorldWide179]

Discipline really is the good start too all things

[@InfiniteOutlaw1188]

Respect my dude. You've evolved much over all these years ✊

[@Jasalexander-vv2uw]

Great advice as always Elliot

[@colinm366]

There's a really good book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Tons of good advice but most importantly, just noticing and identifying your 'Nice Guy' trends is key. A lot of times we can't even I identify these weaknesses. For me it was toxic resentment of "Chads" and not pursuing what *I* wanted (because I didn't even know what I wanted).

[@soccerguys6004]

KEEP DOING VIDEOS PLZ! DONT STOP! NO MORE BREAKS! WE ARE ALL GROWING EVERYDAY CUZ OF THE TRUTH YOUR SPEAKING!!!

[@Collinzmusic]

I find knowing how fast your body is moving too can influence the energy of a room say. I was with a colleague before and I sensed she was being very frantic and flustered from work so what I done was slow everything down with my body from putting my sugar and milk in my tea in legit like a super slow motion type vibe.She went from scoffing her food to eating it in a more calm fashion and within 8 minutes she was very zen. I was happy I was able to do that at that time cause I really had work on that and it worked thankfully.

[@1SainSaiya]

Self awareness is transformative in itself.. Or The devil is invincible as long as it is invisible.. Make it visible then slay it

[@io-rj6sk]

hay i like ur clown profile pic, wheres the art come from?

[@1SainSaiya]

@@io-rj6sk I think its from D&D, I am not sure

[@io-rj6sk]

aww true, well whatever its from its the most aesthetic clown ive ever seen (:

[@1SainSaiya]

@@io-rj6sk if you like it try looking for Venitian Jester Mask online, you'll like them and they're pretty cheap !

[@Takethiskeycard]

Already did. Never felt better

[@zkhan9936]

Love how this channel has grown sooooo much. Used to watch the living videos back in high school to get lifting in for football,

[@colbyd.5044]

Yo Elliot you made this for me bro! I finally found my center again after a month of identifying with my thoughts and emotions. It’s all on me and I understand the saying “the mind is a great servant but a lousy master” on a far deeper level now and am feeling much lighter! Peace bro!

[@1019jen]

My parents weren't emotionally available and didn't teach me much about how to conduct myself. I'm reparenting now. Thank you for the info. I'm now 37 and finally have a clue. It's was a long time coming and I'm still working on confidence for sure. Work in progress.

[@norris2123]

Here’s the old Elliott. I love this shit. My only question is this…I’m aware of when and where I’m tense, but what do I need to do after knowing that information. Thanks Elliott, glad to have you back.

[@davidanderson7093]

So glad you touched on your earlier videos, your hiatus, your rusty return, and now your normal, confident current self. Genuinely one of the coolest, most confident, assertive “advisers, coaches, teachers, mentors…” I have seen on KZbin. It’s great to have you back brother, god bless 🙏🏻 keep doing your thing…

[@BlueFlame_l.o.g]

Thank You brother! It’s crazy it seems like we can’t even be into God and be a good Person now a days it’s crazy

[@breatheeasily4013]

You can be, you won't be aceepted.

[@dictator7586]

@@breatheeasily4013 i don't care if im not accepted if i can become Übermensch

[@overprime3978]

@@breatheeasily4013 god is merciful lol u never read a bible

[@BlueFlame_l.o.g]

@@breatheeasily4013 Yea I see that now with this world especially with women it’s sickening

[@BlueFlame_l.o.g]

@@dictator7586 Yea you have to do what’s best for you

[@mikemendez3778]

Much respect brother, im a good guy and i always try to treat better than or how id want to be treated. and now i see that me being that nice makes me seem fake and leads to people taking advantage of me. Now i try to treat everyone like normal people instead of empathizing how id want to be treated.

[@steelrain8411]

Elliott’s videos are my meditation after a long day of hard work. Keep em coming brother! These teachings are invaluable.

[@David_Hammond]

Great as always 🙏💯

[@cyrusB.33]

David🐐

[@brayantsanchez3910]

I love your stuff bro😭😭🔥🔥🔥😒

[@Sergio28Q]

Yo these questions he is saying we should we questioning ourselves to notice with our body parts , crazyyyyyy but so trueee.

[@drusantana]

I haven't tuned in a wile. But dam this is what I subscribed for a year ago for. Dam I been missing out. 💯

[@Dlo831SC]

Glad to have you back brother

[@J0lker]

Yes it has amazing old Eliott vibe, wasn't feeling it some time ago but I can feel he's back. And daily uploads! Welcome G

[@tbsdrummer87]

This guy has gone off the deep end in a lot of videos, you’re not missing much

[@J0lker]

@@tbsdrummer87 for example?

[@Newishrevolution1]

Brotha Elliot needs to give us some more intro music. That ish gets me jacked for the focus of the message

[@codeknight7]

I think my shyness came from watching steve urkule on family matters to much because my name is steve and in jr high school they would call me steve urkule i dont know but i used to read proverbs in the bible and listen to it on youtube for months when i would go to bed at night and my voice started getting deeper and i could exspress my emotions more its like the bible was changing me like i was becoming a different person a better person.

[@jesuslopez6873]

Thanks Morfin Depay

[@Dkguerilla]

What killed the nice guy in me is when the gym was closed for almost a year in my country.

[@discussionswithdemetri2883]

Yup, that'll do it lol i take a whole lot of my anger out in the gym as well.

[@activatekruger446]

Let’s just say I got really good at calisthenics last year.

[@omarthecupoftea7224]

Keep coping

[@bettermanchannel770]

We tribal men , kicking in the walls of the empire

[@MajinBradPrime2]

Similar situation with me, coupled with working through the lockdown getting shit day in day out from the public. Now I’m pleasant with customers, but the moment they have attitude my entire demeanour changes, my voice goes lower I talk slower and more deliberate. I’ve had more personal growth this past year than the last ten and it’s all even because of negative situations accelerating that growth because I had no choice but to grow.

[@AsheetBull]

Loving all the videos you’re dropping lately, much appreciated. Thanks for the coaching!

[@dethtrap98]

Wow elliott... I've been watching since I was in late middle school and through out highschool and its awesome to see you still going at it. You are one of the greats that helped me change how I perceive life. Thank you.

[@anti_hero_660]

Indomitable spirit, perseverance and courteously

[@lukaseric1040]

Yoo Eliot, spitting clear truth, thanks brother for reminding us

[@OS-yf3ko]

I feel once I got to my 30s this all became much easier to understand and natural. But I had to go through the mess that my 20s were in order to learn this.

[@stingforever]

I always remember that video "Don't be nice".

[@coltenkelso5764]

Anytime conflict comes up nice guy mode comes out. It's being afraid of disappointing others or others not liking you for who you are.

[@MrWinning43]

Thanks uncle Elliott

[@wolverineforce2068]

The real Elliott Is preaching again!

[@shamiefleming5026]

Your coming back hard bro. Been watching for 11 years. Your looking boss. Still pushing to be the strongest man I can be 💪peace

[@FreedomLocs]

I've just started journaling my nice guy. Great experience so far. Observing the observer 👑

[@gabrielvelez5656]

I was thinking about you yesterday and BOOM, back on my feed.

[@robertomendez187]

👍🏽 excellent advice!!

[@questforwholeness]

Always come back to big ell thank you

[@samualcalnan4774]

This is the most original take I've heard on this subject

[@sushant.280]

Yes u have already a video on this topic and this is a pretty awesome modification..😍👍

[@008boot6]

Respect sir. You are developing this generation and making valuable advice to the youth

[@MindMetalworks]

cheers mate i will be watching your vids from now on

[@PISANITY]

I love this, I love your recent videos, they are awesome, your advice helps me. Keep up the great work!

[@90sgrunge1]

He is right great video brother

[@STRONGERDAILY1995]

Time for some elliot motivation!

[@ZevvyEdits]

Meditation and mindfulness practices are the key to self awareness

[@Er.MayurRajendraPawar]

Self-awareness lead to self control. What you resist you persist. You should had a vision. Notice what is happen when you go nice guy mode.

[@barberlifts]

Love this, E. Becoming the observer during stressful situations is ongoing work for me 👍

[@mig1017]

This is brilliant Elliott. On point. Self awareness is key

[@InkorrectLol]

this man speaks from experience

[@pauljb07]

Stoic journaling helps with this

[@stefanmckannon1634]

I love how you have so many different ways to explain your point! 🙏

[@waukeganhighbrooksidecampu119]

We learn from constant trial & error

[@Yaboi89]

Your children are lucky to have you wish I had had a father in my life, none the less one who actually would’ve have amazing information and life lessons you teach, thank you for the lessons sir.

[@stevelethal2910]

Yo Elliott!!! Thanks for bringing this series back brother 👍

[@NewVoiceSound]

The most important actions are inner

[@zico82495]

Thanks for the video man 👍🏼 good video

[@wotaredo1881]

Right off the bath I wanna say, confidence doesn't mean no doubt, no second thought.

[@Valhal1776]

Throw back intro. Love it

[@grumpy_0ld_man]

Solid advice. I'll give it a try. Thanks

[@Kollin011]

This is really good advice! That's exactly how you deal with you're subconcious issues.

[@jayceu1881]

This one helped me a lot

[@johnrodrigues5915]

Came across your channel with this video. Subscribed in less than 5 mins👌👌

[@ivan_8136]

Thanks for sharing a lot of knowledge greets from Argentina!

[@ifeanyigohard3054]

This was a great video!

[@akshayjairam1669]

These videos are really educating. Keep em coming Uncle E.

[@spirit3697]

So much knowledge Elliott, we really appreciate you brother

[@Shibi.A.R]

Awesome content ! Glad that you are back Elliott.

[@aosseily]

Brilliant brother.

[@GloryToFatherGod777]

I love these videos keep them coming

[@wendellkirton3694]

Happy your back Elliott you tube is your calling

[@jjking8577]

“Do I pull my belly in and my breath get shallow”? Wtfff no cap I noticed you become a nice guy when you get anxious and just follow. It’s like you’re all reactive instead of creating (being proactive)

[@Blkxr6]

Thanks Elliott. Your really helping me see things clearly.

[@leonufchampfan1258]

This is gold! I’m lovin it E!

[@samfisher5302]

This video was delivered with divine timing. This is such an awesome breakdown! Thank you Elliot for bringing in both the somatic intelligence and etymology aspects, very well said. 💯👏👏

[@lomelifx412]

I notice it’s when I get to a point of exhaustion from the day that I don’t have the energy to observe myself anymore is when I go back to that fake smiling bullshit. I guess it’s when I notice that “ok I’m getting posses off easily cuz I’m so tired.” That I become this fake nice guy. In reality I wanna express my irritation but it doesn’t suit my relationships so I don’t. I also don’t like to drink beer or alcohol or smoke weed anymore because I lose the ability to observe myself in the present moment. Observation is not judgement. Remember that. God bless you all family

[@m.imamurreza2763]

advices much appreciated!!!

[@daltongalindo7496]

Came at an unusually convenient time! Great vid!

[@Michael_barber613]

Cant be fake when you just relax. Wow never realize that 👌🏽👌🏽

[@moemoneysouth]

✊🏽. Trabajo especial, ahora. a seguir, dale !