How to let him know you're not interested (without hurting his feelings)

[@stevenphillips2446]

Men don't want to just be friends.. they get into their feelings way to fast.. whenever you turn them down.. they turn against you... 🤥🤥

[@Tinyfurball]

Very true. Some even go as far to physically hurt you.

[@crzxm]

Girly inside, but look like men.

[@EYELOVEMUSICSOUL]

Facts and it’s just unfair but it’s always gonna be a mans way or the high way which is why I prefer a woman

[@crzxm]

@Christopher Williams nonsense.

[@crzxm]

@Christopher Williams Here's another one: cheers.

[@omegac95]

This literally just happened to me. He was such an amazing guy, like everything I want in a man but I just couldn’t pull myself to like him the way he liked me. I tried to but the feeling wasn’t there. Made me heart broken tbh I couldn’t feel love for him. But I hope he finds someone as special as he is who will love him unconditionally💗

[@harryschlitz4067]

Glad for you. But do me a favor, and I hope this does not happen 2u BUT ...After you have been through the ringer with at least 3 other better looking pretty boy floyd's and have 3 kids with these 3 different Men, as karma will have it, you run into him just out and about PLEASE let him know how wrong you were to not grab him when you had the chance, at least the Man will have some closure years later on it was really not him but YOU blinded by bad advice from other Women who have no idea what there talking about and can't stand to see you happy because there not.. And BTW that female that's standing next to him PROUDLY holding the Son she just had for HIM Because she was NO FOOL and not going to PASS on a GOOD thing, That's his WIFE, good luck prying him away from her, she's not stupid.

[@Dizzy.Brunette]

@@harryschlitz4067 you're a bitter little man who has clearly turned a lot of women off. She said she TRIED to love him. Are you automatically attracted to any woman who is good to you, even if you find certain elements of her too unattractive to ignore (physically or emotionally or both)? Didn't think so. Bore off, idiot.

[@way2girly]

Dealing with the same situation

[@way2girly]

Thanks for sharing

[@gabriellebrown7776]

@@harryschlitz4067 why was she wrong to let him go if the feelings weren't mutual? If she says she tried to reciprocate but she didn't see it go anywhere, its alright. You cannot force yourself to fall for anyone, and there is nothing to repent. She said she felt bad about it and hoped the best for his future , she seems like a good person. There was no bitterness anyway. So, stop spewing crap about your insecurities about feeling guilty about not liking someone back. Your advice was completely unnecessary. If your ego cannot handle rejection, life's going to be difficult.

[@crzxm]

Be direct. He'll move on.

[@surryakhan7989]

ive been very direct for 12 years, this guy just doesnt get im not into him romantically and doesnt stop trying, i am now beginning to find him repulsive and want to end the friendship.

[@crzxm]

@@surryakhan7989 sounds like a bad marriage.

[@alexisglass9959]

That’s what you think 😂

[@crzxm]

@@alexisglass9959 Yes, but it also doesn't matter to me.

[@crzxm]

@@alexisglass9959 It's best to stop any communication with that person.

[@mariannek6735]

Personally I wouldn't be so detailed in turning him down if the reason isn't something he can work on. If you're not physically attracted to him and you write a long letter saying how good he is but that you still don't want to be with him, he's just going to feel like you're calling him so ugly that his great personality can't even make him acceptable.

[@saraparis8186]

you're here cause you're a nice person and don't wanna crush a guy

[@keishawilliams7546]

I think people should get over the WHY. Him/Her not wanting you is all the closure you need.

[@apputaiparambil]

Just tell them openly. More you delay, more it's worse. Now if the guy is mature they would want to continue as friends because they like you and respect you and your choice. If he's not, he'll feel so bitter. Now , there are some guys who keep their feelings to themselves cause they don't want ruin what they have with you.. They already know they can't have you , they just keeping it together for their sake.

[@OnlyYouCanBeYou]

why does it have to be too wordy? It's still going to hurt him saying I'm not physically attracted to him then saying all the other wonderful characteristics of him then ending it with let's be friends. This is how men end up hating women and vice versa.

[@wendysmith9682]

He asked me if I’m dumping him already ... I said “hey ralph,, ya I’m glad we chatted a bit but I’m not feeling this developing. I wish you all the best though..... Feels good to be direct and final.

[@ariannamonet6054]

This exactly what i needed, a template😂Im gonna have to copy & paste this💀

[@mphohlohlolo3986]

Would do the same thing but I feel like I want to call him😭😭😭but the phone call is gonna be so awkward

[@Smokey_Cookies]

I said sorry 500000000 times and said it's just I realized I care for you as a friend

[@LatinRoses]

I totally have been guilty of doing it the wrong way. This really helped

[@lilith8778]

The problem is my psychiatrist told me to use the 'sandwich' technic (in which u say positive layer about them and the negatives on why you are not feeling it) as expected, he went on smear campaign about me and cut ties to who ever chose to speak to me. Did asked whether they wanted a fake one sided relationship or a real natural one, he chose the latter and told him that I have no control over my feelings or brain Chem. That's why I fear of rejecting, because God know who's truly ur friend and who's simply there for sth else and if u gently kindly and politely refused, they go against u 180°. Props to men who took rejections in mature way knowing sth like that can always happen and it's part of life.

[@lovekavita]

Yeah often even if you start with positive, the negative is what we all focus on, so often that doesn’t work. It’s about being as loving and honest as possible. Rejection is hard.

[@theanimalkeaper]

I’m not even straight and he won’t take the hint :/

[@goldstateofmind8555]

Dude that’s what’s happening to me 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@simonandozansmicrophone312]

Samee😔

[@yolanda5756]

I have told this man that I am not interested in a relationship with him for a few years. He keeps coming back around asking me to marry him!! I...don't....want...him! I have told him this since I first realized he wanted to be more than friends.

[@preciousgamer7286]

I'm not interested in other guys I don't want to their feelings

[@sarajefferson5393]

Men don’t want to hear a long explanation be more simple … like your a great guy however I don’t think we’re compatable

[@robertblake9892]

How about "Thank you for asking, but I'm seeing someone." Said with a nice and genuine smile.

[@lovekavita]

Only if that’s true. If it’s not the other person can feel that.

[@florindagonzalez5700]

I once had someone who wanted to know why I didn't consider though he made attempts, until I was finally direct, I asked: "Do you want a sexless marriage?" Then, told him I was sexually attracted to him. Being polite and gentle did not work for years. Being direct was. He backed off, moved on with his life. I'm happy for him and hope he is doing well.

[@mitacestalia7532]

I actually being direct with a man and say I am not interested in further relationship with him and let's just be friend and chat. He keeps insisted that he likes me and it triggers my first time anxiety disorder (already diagnosed to the level i need to take medication). I even reply don't wait for me and go for someone else and he still flirts with me to the level I have to say I hate everytime he's flirting (it triggers my anxiety). He turns me from being compassionate to hate him. Now I'm ignoring all his chats and too afraid to use my Instagram because once I post something, he will chat me again.

[@lovekavita]

Did you share exactly why you weren’t interested? Like did you say “I don’t mean to be mean but I’m not feeling chemistry between us or a level of attraction is missing.” He probably needs specificity to get over it. Does that make sense?

[@mitacestalia7532]

​@@lovekavita Yeah, I told him I found no chemistry yet he insisted he liked me. He still texts me when I ignore him for two weeks 😢

[@jeanineevereux]

Exactly what I needed. I just got back into the dating game and was over thinking of how to approach the situation.

[@lovekavita]

So happy it helped.

[@chamcham123]

Just tell him the truth. That’s all he needs.

[@lovekavita]

Yes the truth is always best!

[@graciecanil8482]

I met someone online 4 years ago, we really liked each other, we had connection, we went straight to each how much we like each other, however we realized we cannot be together, because of the distance and lack of money, and also the difference of age, he is 28 and I'm 32, personally I do not care about it but he cares, we started hurting each other, I told him webhad to stop, when he used to message me, I told him many not to, and he said, let's be friends. He crushed my soul the moment he said, even though I still loved him at that time, till now, actually just yesterday he called me, after a long time, and I asked himw what the call about since we haven't for a long and he said, he misses me, I just realized I was glover him, I don't have feelings anymore, those feelings that one almost killed, those feelings woke up entire nights, I don't have them anymore. Should I tell him?

[@handsomesquidward2130]

yessss before its too late

[@linaazmiin7479]

yes

[@redbone8844]

I tell them as soon as we meet and tell them what I’m looking for we will never be more than friends so if you looking for love please don’t sit and wait on me go and find you somebody that’s going to love you!

[@user-mt2co8ip4u]

If a guy asks me out and I'm not interested, I usually say "Sorry, I'm not interested." If we've went on a few dates and I'm not feeling the spark I just say that and block on socials. Blocking may seem harsh but it's for the best, there's no reason to continue talking at that point. I don't have the male friends complaining about the friendzone problem because my friends are all women

[@YourEnchantedLife]

Hummm- so I really liked this advice - so I used it almost verbatim what was suggested and this happens Message one from him: “Okay- good luck and hope you find what your looking for” Message two: “I’m sorry for wasting your time” Message three: “I’m sure you probably don’t care” I cant read or respond to him as I’m busy - had I wanted to Message four (he’s messaging every couple of minutes) “Your message messed up my whole day” Message five: “I don’t believe that your disappointed” Message six: “It doesn’t matter how you feel- just block me and pretend that we’ve never talked or met” I finally responded- as he has not blocked me “As you wish” and then I block him I just really do not understand men these days! In my case I have never even met this man in person - just through Facebook dating and we’ve been communicating for about a week. Does that really warrant this response?! So yeah - if you consider a response like that to be a sign that it worked then wonderful - saying it this way works! 😂

[@lovekavita]

How did it feel to receive all of that from him?

[@florindagonzalez5700]

"YOUR message ruined MY whole day." I didn't like that one. It sounds strange to me. Only known him for a week and already trying to put you on a pedestal. The problems with pedestals is there's no room for movement. And, the moment something moves the pedestal, whatever is on it falls off of it and shatters. You did the right thing by blocking him.

[@angell504]

That message is too long. I’m dealing with a man who’s in his late 50’s and still can’t get the hint. He’s cool and kind, but more like and uncle. And on days I don’t call him, he stalks my social media which I have to be on to market my business, or he gets mutual friends to call me. It forces me to have to rudely spell it out for him, and that’s awkward

[@stefanisheppa8038]

Thank you, Kavita. This is excellent. So honest and clear.

[@lovekavita]

Stefani Sheppa Thanks for sharing Stefani

[@bang.chans.babygirl3352]

I’m feeling really bad because I kinda liked a guy and we talked for like a week but we had amazing connexion but his looks turn me so down .. I don’t know how to act now :( I don’t want him to be hurt or become insecure of his looks but it just doesn’t do it for me. I’m so confused cuz I don’t know how to act now lol should I just ghost him ?

[@crzxm]

Yes.

[@bang.chans.babygirl3352]

@@crzxm ACTUALLYYY he’s an asshole soo it’s alright lmao

[@bang.chans.babygirl3352]

@@crzxm I guess the "never give a chance to an ugly guy" rule is true 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@crzxm]

@@bang.chans.babygirl3352 can't feel sorry for a sucker

[@crzxm]

@@bang.chans.babygirl3352 but women try to find a good guy once they are older and lose their looks

[@nardosgirma4558]

Kavita! You're amazing. Thank you 4 z video!

[@ipshitajee]

I feel so guilty, he was a really nice guy and he took the rejection well. But I still feel so so guilty

[@salazar556]

My situation is slightly more different. So I've been friends with this guy for a couple years now and he's been HEAVILY showing signs that he's attracted to me. He'll usually rub my neck with his fingers and hug me for a long time. I feel so uncomfortable when he does this because one, I have a boyfriend and he knows that, and two, I just don't like him. But at the same time, I don't want to ruin our friendship or whatever. I just don't know what to do. I'm not good with telling guys I'm not into them directly. So could there possibly be subtle signs I could show him to clarify that I'm not interested?

[@thomasmargolis3313]

The decent thing is to say it, but you still want him as a friend?

[@ymellia70]

Salazar did somebody Help you with your situation ? Somethings similar happen to me, but i m ont in a relationship, he is. I don't know how to tell him toi stop flirting, without being rude. And i steel have to Work what him after that.

[@jdhxgyu9701]

Just tell him, its not your fault you don't like him and if he cant understand then its not meant to be (friends I mean friends)

[@apputaiparambil]

If you don't like him then why keep him as a friend. Bitch please

[@crzxm]

Stop being friends with him. Stop communicating with him. As long as you're communicating with him, he'll think he has a chance.

[@stringnoodle7364]

Mine is close but almost different. I have been friends with this guy since third grade, and our parents really want us to date. He recently asked if I had feelings for him. I did not know if I had feelings for him or not, and since I didn't want to break his heart because he was into me, I said I was. I now regret this and I don't want to date because I really want to focus on school. I even made an oath to never date until after college and I don't want to break that oath, neither his heart. I have had really bad anxiety ever since he asked. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! xd (He also said, "we won't make it official until we both know when we are ready.")

[@florindagonzalez5700]

Oh, no. Tell him exactly what you told us. Don't be with someone because you pity them.

[@erenthebombjaeger]

What sucks is that he’s my supervisor at work :(

[@amyjacquelineg.715]

I never fish in the company pond for that reason!

[@majanowogorska3568]

This guy has started to recently talk to me and there are obvious signs he likes me. However, I don't feel the same way and find our conversations boring, to the point where I'm thinking of ghosting him. He hasn't told me anything yet but I still don't really wanna talk to him. I don't wanna be rude but also want to be direct. Should I tell him whatever we have isn't working out and just end it now before it's too late?

[@jessicajohnston5693]

I am going on a "date" tonight and the guy I am spending time with might have the wrong idea. I just want to be friends and I am not even interested in a romantic relationship at this point. I have my own hopes and dreams to follow. How do I maintain my boundaries during our conversation tonight?

[@lovekavita]

I know this is super late. But be honest about where your priorities are. Honesty supports you and him.

[@lucettadiamond3978]

Omg I am kind of in the same situation. And i am beginning to resent him.and i have told a million times that I was just not feeling it.then it so happens that I have roommates who think he is good for me and they kept on entertaining him.he does favors for them etc and at the end of the day,I start to feel like am bad person.and so I have been entertaining him.and recently slept with him for the 2nd time and am still not Getting there with him.i am just not physically attracted to him.and it is not what I need at the moment.

[@gull7581]

In my case : last year i talked to a boy and he purposed me so i asked him to wait till i get my career done so he got ready but in heart i was not ready for that relationship so once i told him that i am not ready but he insisted me that i will wait so i accepted by thinking that he loves me so i should care of his emotions anyhow he wanted to get engage but i told him to wait as our families never met i forgot to mention its long distance relationship.. Well he wants me to talk to him not everytime but when we have free time as he study and do a job at the same time but i don't know i don't feel comfortable with him because he keeps saying me to get marry to him and i want time so for that reason we fell in fight and i asked him to leave me but he does not leave me so i started texting him shortly so he says why you talking shortly are you mad at me etc etc even though i don't have interest in him but he force me to talk to him i don't know now what should i do he does not let me leave him plus i got hurt because i told him to not involve parents in our matter he involves

[@coloroseliisa]

Thank you for this video. This really helped!

[@SunShine-uw4ff]

hey can I ask u something if its possible ?its about the same what the lady is talking about

[@mirp124]

Good advice, thanks

[@lovekavita]

Thanks!

[@ada8990]

No how to let him know that, I'm slow but not stupid. I know my worth and because I make mistake s they don't define me. I really want you to be happy so then I can know your OK. Cuz I will be fine.

[@hanabi235]

Hi! I am friend with a very nice guy and I just want to let him know that I just want us to be friends. Not more. But I don’t know how he perceives me because we spent the whole time together at a party (the theme was Valentine’s Day but hey I didn’t choose the theme xD). And now he proposes me to do things like going to the cinema and the restaurant together and I want to but as friends. But at the same time I’m not sure about how he perceives me so I don’t want to assume that he is into me. I just want to make things clear without appearing like the “Ugh just promise me first that you’re not into me” girl xD I would really appreciate any advice!

[@nardosgirma4558]

Yeah! I think you should make things clearer for him before you guys go deeper. Even though he doesn't show it.... he might be into you. The sooner, the easier!

[@kevinewing-oo8ix]

My husband ran away from home. The men have come around like bilthres. Ugh. Im not even divirced yet. I am still grieving, healing and going through my own .... Runaway bride ..... Moment . Deciding what i like and what u want from here on. It takes time to make myself a better woman. To dustyself off. Learn. Grow... Each man coming around is unique and special in their own way. Im not remotely intersted in any of them. How do i turn down offers graciously... I was dumped in the woods. Isolated. I do need help. Im wiilling and more comfortable paying a contractor to help me. None are really available. Thin pickins in the middle of nowhere. I do need help. I am thankful. But i know men font assist women thesefays... Just because.... What todo. One guy texts that he thinks a lot about me. Im not interested.. oh my. What to say. What to do what are some suggestions you all might have?

[@kevinewing-oo8ix]

Like vultures ... It should say.. phone helping me text

[@moodymoosh]

This guy told me he likes me but im aroace and I don't want to hurt him help Im p sure hes straight abd i dont wanna b outed

[@clairefisher956]

You are such a girl. Wordy. just say "Mike/Misty I like you but not as a boy/girlfriend. And if you keep trying you're going to annoy me". Smile. The end. If I heard your words and I'm the one not liked, your niceness would give me hope... Kill the hope.

[@lucettadiamond3978]

Lol..mean.

[@kevinewing-oo8ix]

I keep thinking about the movie runaway bride. Each man was funny, creative, ... Good men but they cant all be the one. She liked, likeable peolle and just did what each one of them liked to do. Then finally took dome time to find what she liked to do. Anyway. Thete was nothing wrong with sny of them. But not the one fir her

[@ruiningyourlife1237]

dude some guy told me he was gonna clap my cheeks and now I'd rather date a girl

[@NohealaniMakanani]

😂😂😂

[@gr122]

I have a guy friend I considered him only a friend, he never said anything maybe because he was shy, but he would ring at my doorbell every single weekend without notice! I had a hard time because I had to entertain him, we don't have anything in common, nothing really to talk about, and am not attracted, he is a nice guy but that is it, lately he was more esplicite wanting to come over and I might tell him I am already in bed, and he says we can sleep together, I change the subject make believe I don't understand, another time he said he wanted to take a shower together! This went on too long, in the end I had to make things clear, I consider you a friend and nothing more, so please stop insisting because it is irritating, never heard from him again!

[@lovekavita]

Good for you for sharing how you really feel. The sooner the better.

[@makaylacarpenter7180]

thank u so much it helped alot

[@toyotagaz]

Just tell him there's plenty of fish in the sea

[@lovekavita]

Well it’s important to share more so he can let go too.

[@bird5027]

Hi. I am a girl who has had a hard time with men in the past and is scared to be in a relationship. I was wondering if you had any tips.

[@omegac95]

@@Meme-xq1wn That doesn’t help her situation lmaoo

[@افنان-ز4ن]

Please and please I want your advice #Kavita.J patel My sitution is I have aguy who I think he love's me so much but I don't love him although I try to love him but I Couldn't succeeded So I wanna to explain him that I DON'T love him but I do not wanna to hurt him so please what I do

[@Khushikhushi-jn7fy]

same here

[@pinetree7196]

there is this guy in my school that has ligit done these to my that have 1 made me mad or uncomfortable. touched my hair, touch my boob, smacks me in the back with his bag. etc. anyway im not afraid infacted I tell him I hate him all the time and he don't care. Im just like ughhhhhhh. I can't stand him so I need ways to smack it into his head that I'm not into him

[@sophiehelene2760]

I am in the absolute same situation like that girl

[@morcan6304]

in my opinion, do not target his emotions its not gonna help a lot. men have a mechanical way of thinking. just go straight to the points ( why this relationship wont be possible) and give him some factual reasons instead of talking about feelings

[@v2osksksk]

I swear there are more of "How to reject men" to "How to reject girls" on this uncultured app.

[@user-hd5lz7qp9p]

thank you!

[@rachelbouttell1502]

I have a thing with a guy but we're not "dating" but I went to a party and met like 2 other guys and I now I don't know what to do because I like all 3. Help meee

[@guard6304]

Okay I got a question if you can help me, I've known this guy for a while. He's chill but lately he's been nervous around me, talking to me alot. And his friends ( which are mine aswell) are acting weird around me.... I think it might be because the guy like me, however im gay, and he know that... What do I do??? I dont want it to seem like im just saying that to deny him. I need some help.. Anyone got tips?

[@toswots]

Jesus loves you and doesn't want you to b gay.. Embrace him, hes got d best for you.

[@Classic_literature]

Because you’re not supposed to be gay heal bitch heal

[@guard6304]

@@toswots Nah I'd rather finger bang girls.

[@juliaheredia6246]

I really don't know how to dump him 😢

[@lovekavita]

What’s stopping you? Usually there is some fear, even if the fear is you don’t want to hurt him?

[@amandamurdock3471]

I need help I have freind name Michael who is deaf and he thinks that er are boyfriend.and grilfriend I have Be tell him a lot and he douse get it h and I want to let go

[@KennyBucketz]

Amanda murdock what was the point of putting his name out there? I hope you’re a kid because that was a crazy immature thing to do (even though the name is common in this case). Don’t do that.

[@ub1308]

Such an immature women you are! How can you take someone's name publicly? And also you don't call someone deaf, you call them physically disabled! Shame on you!

[@thomasmargolis3313]

When in doubt, the fall back "...its not you, its me..." A woman that cares about how the guy feels, seriously?

[@sarahphillips1208]

THANK U SO MUCH

[@popeyesalmon5119]

This helps

[@lovekavita]

I’m so glad!

[@FamousDEntPrize-ze9pw]

I want to let this love in but after 6 years I've gotten no communication this is not love she showed me narcissistic behaviors I won't entertain this crap all I ever did was love her but she doesn't even care. I don't even know wear she lives she doesn't care.... I've sean that now I've had enough time she doesn't have to say a word

[@christinaescajeda3470]

He’s not nice does not treat me beautiful it’s all about him He’s a lying ghost wants to be on my Facebook google and his friends are the worst tired of them all I can’t get rid of them have any ideas thanks For sharing

[@puabi666]

I have given up on evthing

[@lovekavita]

Why? What makes you want to give up?

[@stevemcfarlane4019]

Tell him ur having a baby' for a x

[@itaekumba33]

smh - never be a nice guy - - woman.. ?

[@splouffy]

#mgtow