How to make an INTJ fall for you | 8 ways to make an INTJ fall in love with you | Mindimalist

[@EliotPlaysMinecraft]

A major thing for me as well is humor. I (and many of the fellow INTJs I know) seem to have a really weird combination of dark jokes, smart jokes, and then plain silly jokes, and someone who can not only appreciate these but match my humor themselves will come across as way more attractive.

[@Mindimalist]

Ohhhh yessss!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 Good one!!!

[@curtiswong7515]

This 100%. And they don't even necessarily need to be a comic genius. If they're at least amused by some of my weirdness and jokes instead of downright hating it the way many do, they will appear very attractive.

[@user404notfound3]

Yeah.. accutrate to the point

[@joshpatrick8809]

Absolutely 💯 agree! Unfortunately, I've only found one in my life outside of my family. She became my only friend! ❤

[@mcopaal5926]

We do hidden jokes. Something people with a certain wisdom will get and laugh. I personally love dad jokes. They are logical and simple yet you really need to think to guess them. Haha

[@Arieswitch47]

Female INTJ here. She is correct. The people that interest me have an opinion and loves a good debate. The more intelligent they are the better. Being far more intelligent than me, WOW. Those people attract me personally for sure.

[@stephenzehnder5484]

I am a male INTJ. Fortunately my girlfriend is an INFP. I had to laugh she understood me and did everything you suggested. Amazing.

[@tripletvn]

Awe, female INFP here and my best dates are hands down with male INTJs. Dating one now and would hope for it to become permanent, fingers crossed :)

[@heedmywarning2792]

As an INTJ the first thing I notice are people who don't follow the crowd. They burn up my 'radar'.

[@phillipschulz4492]

100% this. anyone with a unique look. i think its a design we see that if they dress interesting and different then they probably think differently and will have unique conversations with us. I would prefer a rebel look over a sexy look every time.

[@Mindimalist]

Yup!!!

[@guitarcamo5473]

There was one girl I noticed that was different from the crowd, not anything in particular that she did just something about her, turns out she is an infj Edit: she broke my intj heart and now I dont trust anyone

[@hiefia8568]

​@@guitarcamo5473owww I am so sorry. What was the reason for the breakup? I am infj too so I'm curious

[@guitarcamo5473]

@@hiefia8568 we just had different ideologies

[@elypelowski5670]

1. Yes - Have an opinion. INTJ Te loves to ponder and accumulate data points and talk over why you have that opinion. INTJ want to understand why you believe what you do. 2. Yes - INTJ love to learn, also a very Te thing. However, if it is something that is uninteresting (Fi) to them they may listen for a while to be nice, but after a while they may drift off. 3. I agree - While I think this applies to more than INTJ. I personally like learning significant things about other people it helps me to make a connection and remember details about them. 4. INTJ might shy away from this one on a deeper level at first but over time they will warm up as trust is built. 5. YES !! - Most definitely respect the INTJ "me time". It is our alone time that is very sacred. We use it to think/process/create/solve/set goals etc. All the things in our life that gives us purpose. But don't be afraid to get them out of their retreat if it has been days/weeks ?? LOL who's counting? 6. OMG YES !!! This was a huge issue in the beginning of my relationship with my ENFP wife. She ALWAYS wanted to be with me every minute of the day. I finally had to tell her she really needed to find a hobby, or find something to do independently. As mean as that sounds, it was for a good reason and for the over-all health of our relationship. 7. While receiving gifts is not our (INTJ) language of love, we will notice if you go out of your way to give a gift that is unique to us. 8. Yes !! Be Genuine. I personally really really do not like 'fakeness' and most INTJ can sniff 'fakeness' out a mile away. It will actually repel INTJ majorly. We will reject you and shut you down/out. Great video Mindi !!! Cheer :)

[@RelentlessRoxas]

The reason we need the "me time" is not just to learn something new, it's to process what we have recorded/felt, which is "everything" between our last "me time". Alot of people think INTJ are the least feeling but I believe it's the opposite. We feel everything and deeply we just don't show it. It's like when a cat is hurt you will rarely notice it until it's really bad. The reason we are not easy to get close to is because we want to make sure that if we let this person in they won't wreck the China shop once inside. When an INTJ gives a gift they have probably thought about it a thousand different ways even how you might react to that gift. We never expect anyone to react to a gift with as much as we have put into deciding on it. For example that one gift probably had 50 other competitors in our decision making but we chose that one because it was the most useful one to you, the gift that would make you the most happy and make your life easiest. INTJ's don't want to just give you something, they care about you so very deeply (unless you aren't on the inside) and they want to make your life as problem free as possible. Seeing your happiness, the person they have let into their heart is a greater happiness than they can ever feel for themselves.

[@elatrasi]

this is beautiful, thanks for sharing. i relate to the need for seclusion to process and reflect, aswell as the thought that goes into someone’s happiness, alignment and wellbeing in gifts - enfp

[@raylane7056]

As an INTJ I can confirm that this list is right on point. Well done. After 2 marriages I can testify to my need for in depth conversations about ideas as an essential. Even now in my 60’s I find myself looking for a lady capable of intelligent conversation and a willingness to lean in to a truly committed relationship based on shared interests and intellectual compatibility.

[@Arieswitch47]

Yes, I'm 58, and it seems harder to find an older man that appreciates intelligent conversation and is a deep thinker with ideas or thoughts that are challenging the status quo. When I encounter those people now I really take advantage of the opportunity and enjoy any time at all communicating with them as long as it lasts.

[@FloridaRaider]

As an INTJ, for me, it's the uniqueness of their eyes. Their expressiveness speaks to me... which you have.

[@Mindimalist]

Flattered! ☺️

[@marigi2013]

Male INTJ, the gift thing hit hard, you got that one really accurate. We don’t need gifts, if you give us one, just something showing that you know what’s going on with them at the time is the best idea.

[@p_k_2000]

Be independent is the biggest one for me no doubt i can't even imagine having a partner who is not indipendent

[@mayulverma]

Hey, INTJ here... I always love your videos although its kind of creepy when someone knows about you, more than yourself... One thing I wanna add, although it is personally for me, I like when people take things slow and don't try to push our introverted boundaries, which also includes our "me time".

[@Mindimalist]

Oh I love that you mentioned that! I could have made that one a #9!!! Thanks for the input

[@madabout4628]

so fucking true bro(

[@LaurelsChannel]

I'm an INTJ who just broke off a long-term relationship with an ENTP. I like your video because it highlights some of the reasons why we were together in the first place. As for why it ended - the alone time was a big one for sure. He just didn't get that I needed at least several hours a day alone. Another one was that he was too aggressive in our discussions. One of the reasons I got together with him was that he was a deep thinker who liked to explore topics. But when he was too aggressive in those debate-discussions, it was no longer enjoyable for me. Another issue was distractions. I like to focus and concentrate on whatever I'm doing. I'm pretty sure that's an INTJ trait and not just me. I prefer no extraneous noise or distractions. He, however, always wanted something playing in the background - TV, podcast, video, etc. - and he had lots of pets (three dogs and a cat) that were always moving around, making noise, and trying to get our attention. I found myself constantly craving silence and calm.

[@Arieswitch47]

Too bad your long-term partner couldn't grasp those things. As an INTJ female, I make sure that as soon as I assign a value to a person, I believe it could be a good match for both of us, I am very firm about my alone time and how much distractions bother me while I'm working on a project or going down the rabbit hole in researching a subject that has sparked my interest. I don't know about you, but your comments lead me to believe you do this same thing, When I've committed to a long-term relationship, I'm in it and devoted to the bitter end. It had to have changed so drastically that you felt you had to end it. Tough call for sure.

[@LaurelsChannel]

@@Arieswitch47 The end was quite bitter and I was indeed very devoted until then.

[@MariamZawjatNomayri]

As an INTJ personality type, I'd say that one of the best qualities about my husband (ESFJ) which inspired me to stay in love and loyal to him is his admirable charisma with people in general, specially with children, he knows how to make others feel good about themselves and he successfully taught me to be more lenient, forgiving and empathetic. An INTJ would consider you worth liking or keeping as a true friend if they sense you're genuine (not fake, pretentious and untruthful) and your calming presence emits positive vibes, as you've got loads of valuable things to teach directly and indirectly.

[@Arieswitch47]

I agree with you. My husband was an ESFP. One would guess an INTJ could never be with that personality type. However, I found his honest joy of being with people, especially strangers, and his enjoyment of engaging other people with his calming, laid back, hysterically funny, companionable way and how others responded mirroring his enthusiasm was a true wonder. He loved to be in a big crowd and would always end up being in the spotlight. He never once took that spot light alone, he would pull me into with him. It was actually thrilling. So out of character for me. I learned so much from him. In return I showed him how making a plan before you go to the events he loved and taking just a little time to pack a few things you might want to have like water, toilet paper, food, Event plugged into Google Maps with gas station alerts on or rest stop alerts on. Burning man is not something you just spontaneously want to jump and run, too. He really appreciated it the first time I planned for the trip. Having a bucket, a shower curtain and a roll of toilet paper came in very handy when he got bowel issues the first night. It was the most wonderful relationship I've ever been in.

[@Arieswitch47]

Truth again. Show me the real you right from the very first contact. If your silly, be silly. If you are a blunt, to the point kind of person, be blunt. Real, honest, and vulnerable attracts me.

[@beast8222]

Ayy Social Engineering 🧐, that's not fair 😂. Anyways jokes apart, my tip as an INTJ - be an ENFP, be yourself, never lie and ask them for help. Stay consistent with them and they are yours. No one can stop them to fall for you.

[@Mindimalist]

Exactly! Be authentic. Many ENFPs will behave this way naturally (not if they are unhealthy though, here's how they are then: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d3m0qY2roMiEhJI

[@stupidandsensitive]

NO WAY WHAT I'M AN ENFP AND MY CRUSH IS AN INTJ LOLLL

[@freidenkerin5198]

😂😂 lol thank's for the compliment! Going to explore the INTJ personality type further!

[@FPT84]

Do ENFP'S ALWAYS have to be the 1 reaching out ALL the time? It gets boring when INTJ doesn't reach out 1st! It's IMPORTANT to us because makes us feel DESIRED too and WANTED!

[@freidenkerin5198]

@@FPT84 I was thinking about that as well but regarding almost all introverts.. Maybe they initiate more if they really love you. Not sure tho. As someone who feels loved the most if the other person spends willingly quality time with me being fully focused full heart while being in contact (phone, in person, a chat conversation) I suffer as well from initiating too much. But it also depends on what's coming back. My favorite aunt and my best friend are ISFJs. I have to get in touch most of the time, but they always make time for me (giving me an alternative date if they are busy) and being all eyes, ears and heart when connecting. This way it's ok by me and I cherish them a lot. Otherwise I make sure I have enough extroverts in my life to balance things out.^^

[@terebiomimasu]

Pretty good list. Just 2 things I'd like to add: 1. For your first point of having an opinion: have a reason for it. We only want to hear your opinion if it's well thought out and you have reasons to support your mind set. Everyone has opinions. And we're most definitely open to see how others view things, but we also want to know **why**. Plus this helps us gauge how much you are rational vs. emotional. 2. In all honesty, there's a pretty good chance that an INTJ may actually be into you but they just won't make the first move (or even try their best to not show it, as showing emotions in general is something we try to keep hidden). If you really want to make an INTJ fall for you, you'll also have to: (a) be so open about it that they don't question whether or not you like them but whether or not they want to pursue a possible relationship with you or (b) be the one to make the first move.

[@Mindimalist]

Interesting points, thanks for sharing. Point #2 is true, though I have experienced the opposite, INTJs reaching out (but maybe that's an exception since I'm a KZbinr) I share this in one video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a6XUhIOKlNd0fM0

[@shashikanthnuthanaganti8738]

2 Nd point is obviously correct .

[@p_k_2000]

@@Mindimalist 2nd point is not that accurate Its like i just have to make it clear that you like us In my case i will reach out for sure But again majority of intj and my past version might not do that

[@esnardojaredralph94]

just be straight forward and feed them with knowledge about something their curious about

[@FPT84]

If ENFP male pursuing INTJ female then cool but when it comes to female ENFP pursuing Male INTJ...it doesn't feel good. A guy pursuing a gal is way more SEXIER!

[@hfortenberry]

55 year-old female INTJ here. That’s a good list. Good job! 👍🏼 For me, in addition, I need the following: - curiosity and intellectual stimulation (I know you already said this but just driving the point home) - open-minded - a LOT of alone time - someone who appreciates my ideas - good communication so we can resolve conflicts - someone in touch with their emotions enough to help bring me out of my thinking bubble.

[@Breaking_creative]

Yes! I agree with these points.

[@VE11]

I find it funny how it's mainly INTJ'S in the comments INTJ'S : let me see if this will work on me

[@Mindimalist]

"Let me learn how to date myself" you mean? LOL!!

[@RishaBond]

She asked INTJs to comment, so... logically... many of the comments are from INTJs. Personally I'm here prescreening for an INTP guy who's is doing a bunch of research (on brand) about INTJs. I find it endearing and want him to have good data.

[@matthewjohnston3383]

I like this. 1. I definitely like it when people express their opinions, even when they conflict with my own. 2. Learning something new is also one of my favorite things. 3. I love it when someone shares their soul with me. This is true intimacy. 4. A potential partner sharing their main interests and motivations is very much appreciated. I like people who are trying to grow as a person by learning new things. 5. Completely agree about the 'me time' explanation. 6. Presents....I never expect anything from anyone. Receiving a non-expensive thoughtful gift is great! 7. Be authentic or genuine. Absolutely. I noticed she said 8 ways...so I must have missed one. - INTJ

[@Mindimalist]

"4. A potential partner sharing their main interests and motivations is very much appreciated. I like people who are trying to grow as a person by learning new things." This one is also sooo high on the list of the ENFPs. Thanks for sharing this!!! 💗

[@iloveGod1105]

Thank you sooooooo much for this!!! 🧡 God bless you!

[@effie2164]

I guess the part u miss is "be independent, And enjoy doing your own things". It is like a follow up for "respect INTJ's me time" so it's 2 sides of the coin~

[@saadmughal5478]

OMG so many facial expressions in the first 20 seconds.... Instant like!

[@Mindimalist]

Haha really? ☺️😅

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

Wow!

[@Kellymarionkerr88]

Be an enfp. The end!

[@Mindimalist]

Being an ENFP def helps :) 🦄

[@fluckyred2533]

😂😂😂

[@m4lev0lentdem0nknightamv5]

INTPs could help too ...but they have to spend a lot of time with us

[@hollyhayes9640]

It's true. My ex-boyfriend was an ENFP, and we were together before I even finished middle school. (We were together for 19 years; 2001-2020). We only ultimately ended up breaking up because we ended up living in two different countries (Canada - me - and USA - him). ☺️ Edit: overall, though, it was a positive experience.

[@silent0141]

😄 correct

[@EvanAtkins]

This was a very well thought out video! I think you definitely hit the nail on the head with every point you made. This probably wouldn’t belong on this list, but I think one of the hardest things for people to understand about INTJ’s (at least in my own experience as one) is that at certain times, we can act extroverted, even around people we don’t know, if we feel like we have to OR if we are really into somebody and want to make the first move and ask them out. When we return to our natural introverted selves, though, it can throw people off, which I kind of understand, but think is unfortunate. At least in my experience, if somebody experiences some extroverted tendencies from me, they can’t seem to handle it when I just need my me time (friends and in more serious relationships as well)

[@maureen7653]

Wow, you were 100% on point for me. Opinionated and authentic people are the best. My favorite, most touching gift I’ve gotten in years was from a friend whom I had shown my treasured teardrop camper. It is stored in a very small rental garage. The next time we met we brought me a short 2 by 4 wood scrap and a piece of chalk. He explained how I could use it to mark and block how far back I pushed my trailer before I was in danger of hitting the taillights against the wall. He listened and knew what was important to me. And he used his engineer brain to solve a potential problem. A perfect gift! Thank you for the video.

[@oc1655]

it is nice to know there are people out there this enthusiastic about intjs ❤

[@rkplaylist8252]

Those are all correct. I think where many fall short is they stop doing it, that is why being genuine is extremely important, because we will know it you’re not or fake. We need to be challenged. We also know that we are far from perfect and have our strength and weaknesses. We simply find that most people aren’t worth the effort, which is why many stick to more casual encounter. If we give you our time, we are intrigued by you and want to know more.

[@phillipschulz4492]

another great video. I would add that it helps to have an opinion that is original can be a huge bonus. As the years go on, evolve yourself as well. We grow mentally very fast but want someone that can keep up a little. When we present new ideas or concepts, please respond intelligently. my biggest pet peeve as an intj is when someone just agrees and doesn't add on or bounce the conversation around. Don't change the subject either, its so frickin rude. we spent hours and hours thinking of how time is perceived and have built a structure of our viewpoint, weighed numerous possible scenarios and came to a conclusion that would destroy Neil deGrasse Tyson. Then you respond "that's interesting" and then continue with small talk about local event or family situations then our respect and interest fell to zero and we want to run away. all your other points here in this video are good, especially the present thing.

[@Mindimalist]

"my biggest pet peeve as an intj is when someone just agrees and doesn't add on or bounce the conversation around" I have absolutely noticed this one. As an ENFP I dislike small talk as well, I have made a video about it some months ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHTbi3SwqbWcf9E

[@bittercoffee113]

I clicked on this video suspecting some mumbo jumbo. But no! The list is a correct roadmap to an INTJ mind or heart. Well done!

[@theintjperspective2958]

Great Video, you brought up some good points. From my perspective as an INTJ 1.) Have an Opinion; I don't know, everyone has an opinion lol just try to keep an open mind I'd say. 2.) Teach Them Something; Sure, so long as its something we're interested in. We tend to be hyper focused on efficiency and usually only leave open room to learn things that have some kind of utility or insight. If you try to teach me a frivolous thing, I will politely nod and listen until I can escape. 3.) Share Something Significant; Yes we like to make sense of things and people so long as its sincere. 4.) Learn About What They Love; Well this is good advice for anyone really, but generally I'll test people and talk a little about what I'm interested in. When their eyes start to glaze over, or they take over the conversation in an Extroverted way, I let them and I shut up. But we can tell if you're generally interested. The interesting thing about ENFPs is they are interested but can't always follow the conversation, like if there was a test at the end of the lecture they would fail but would still have a fun time. 5) Don't Fear Their Me Time; Yes this is a must, I mean a mature INTJ should make compromises but for every bit of extroversion comes at a price. When I'm stressed or vexed by a problem I get tunnel vision and everything else drops away. But I believe a mature INTJ should still check in with their partner during these times. 6.) Be Independent With Your Own Time; Yes that actually wonderful. What I tell people, if you have extroverted needs that are not being met by your INTJ then thats what your friends are for. Don't burnout your INTJ 7.) Buying Presents; Yes precisely. My family is clueless even when I tell them exactly what kind of things I'm into, I hate Christmas and Birthdays because of it. 8.) Be Genuine; You don't have to be genuine at all. Doesn't matter to the INTJ but you may not like the vivisection as we dissect you, we'll have a good time, but you won't ;) ( contrary to the rumor we don't have emotions after all, just sophisticated algorithms that mimic emotions)

[@nicoledyer9231]

As an INTJ someone telling me I’m wrong is not what I value. What I value is someone’s ability to recognize that I’ve already made a decision on what I’m going to do and if they are able to add to that or tweak it then that is a HUGE bonus for me. Perhaps this is from my natural way of being in that I value individuality and what may be right for one person may not be for the other person. Recognizing this and being there for someone in a way that they appreciate is much more appealing to me.

[@glueball214]

Wow, that was fantastic. I love sharing intellect. I love to see the world through a thousand different eyes. I did in fact fall for a guy who wrote philosophical quotes on the labs white board. And my favorite presents are little, cheap, personal and usually silly. This was just awesome.

[@Mindimalist]

Thank you for showing us your sweet side with this comment!!!! 💚💚💚💚

[@thestoicchimp6342]

I love when someone passionately challenges my opinions with logic. I cant stand it when someone passionately challenges opinions because of a feeling that prevents them from accessing the logic altogether! Also i feel like engaging in ideas is like the intj equivalent of holding hands.

[@natashacastro71]

INTJ here 🧛‍♀️ 1st point = be honest and loyal

[@Puff_Chady]

INFJ: Just researching and taking notes.

[@mrmusiccrow2461]

Great video! I'm gonna add on to point:1 about opinions is that, as an INTJ myself I'd prefer a person to have an informed opinion, even if its a stupid opinion, I'd respect it and engage in a discussion about it if the person came to a conclusive opinion after a well put thought on the subject. I have an INFP friend who has opinions and when i engage with him most of his responses are "oh its just a feeling"...which drives me up the wall and makes me feel like I'm wasting my time talking to this person.

[@RishaBond]

Yes. It's one thing to have feeling-based opinions about e.g. matters of taste (though uninteresting if someone can't articulate it). However, I have an INFP friend who makes major life decisions based on feelings, with seemingly zero logic and very fuzzy long-term planning. I had to talk him out of buying a house in a town he hated (luckily he was able to back out of his offer). After that, he joked that he should run all his decisions by me for consult. I told him to get an financial advisor and a therapist instead. He's a nice person, but exhausting.

[@mrmusiccrow2461]

@@RishaBond Very similar experience! I mean i actually enjoy our conversations when he is nerdy and geeks out about stuff. But when it comes to talking about problems, which in my experiences its 60-70% of the time when communicating with INFP's, its always a tremendous amount of uncertainty and indecision. As you've said, they're good people, but as an INTJ it feels very exhausting haha

[@darthconquest1046]

As an INTJ, I've been over challenged and tend to find the opinions of others... wanting. Time usually shows the validity of my opinions. At this stage of my life, I'd rather just be agreed with.

[@Veronica-mr9gk]

You’re upstanding of the INTJ archetype is soooo spot on. And I do love presents 😊. Also, I agree with your viewpoint on authenticity. I can be absolutely terrible at reading the emotions of people in the room but it’s like I have this super radar for inauthentic people. Edited because I commented before I finished the video 😅

[@Mindimalist]

I love it! Thanks for sharing ☺️🙏🏻

[@AiletaEyail]

Lol I'm an INTJ who doesn't care for presents. If it's not something that I can use everyday for practical purposes, then it's clutter taking up space. Inefficient and distracting

[@delven7867]

As an intj, im just watcging this video for self defense.

[@luithedude3300]

I'm intj and saying that this video is legit, it may not "fall" someone for you, but if his already fallen, you'll drag him even deeper

[@midnightgaming.9162]

#7 heres an easy secret to how it actually works. Utility is more valuable than sentimentality to an INTJ. If they hate shopping, volunteer to do it and they will love you for it. Its really easy bc we are so low maintinence do anything the INTJ does not like, do for them. This is why we love them in social situations for example how they handle that for us. But dont baby or spoil them, find something they need or want or have trouble doing or obtaining themselves and do it for them. Or if they always forget to buy shavers and dont shave enough buy them a nice effecient electric shaver. Some of these seem like bad example. Its absolutely not likely, but if they forget to gas the car often, do it for them, and say you did it for them, bring them their favorite treat (but dont get anything for yourself)(this shows you did it for them and only them. this will gain you loyalty and get them eager to think more of only you next time they do something. its a small sacrific and I bet you'll see they always try to sacrifice more in return. but like with everything there is a balance. Also if they dont reciprocate well they are an immature or unhealthy INTJ and the only solution is more time. Save yourself that time and have them be alone, as in, move on.

[@IkeOg]

Mindimalist is an INTJ thirst trapper... and im here for it 🤪

[@rnesmith1959]

You are adorable AND I enjoyed your suggestions. As an INTJ, it seems that finding a genuine "connection" from another is not an easy task. Depth is essential but hard to find. You were spot-on on how a kindhearted lady could get my attention. Keep up the excellent work. :-)

[@Mindimalist]

You're very kind, thank you very much!! I'm sure you will enjoy other INTJ videos of mine, on my INTJ playlist: bit.ly/3qW5AWx

[@Arieswitch47]

I'm most attracted to an ESFP or an ENFP.

[@PsychoFrenzy305]

as an intj we love our partner unconditionally if we really into that deep in the relationship....and we prefer spiritual or emotional love over physical love..

[@ARedMagicMarker]

I am INTJ. Give me my space, be organized/clean, shower, brush your teeth, be quiet, be civilized, don't be a jerk, act like you have some sense. Be funny, be cozy, mind your manners. Have good taste. Know how to behave in public.

[@philiparmstrong3750]

As an INTJ... This is too accurate. Now if I ever get in another relationship and they behave in a totally compatible manner... I'm going to have to worry about if they saw your video🤔

[@kennethbosley1915]

From and INTJ-A #1) Have an INFORMED opinion (nothing worse than uninformed/irrational ideas). Read before you speak! #2) Correct. Be more than you appear to be. Have real world skills. Be passionate about being better tomorrow than you are today. #3) Not necessarily vulnerable, but willing to open up something exclusive to the INTJ that is not shared with the rest. #4) Correct. Be passionate about us, our lives, and our plans and projects. We are searching for a partner, not an accessory for our life. But become passionate about sharing our selves and our lives. #4a) Have something for yourself. Some interests you are content to be about, but which we can understand as valuable and not trivial. #5) This is where #4a comes in. We need our own time inside our own heads, we also need to know that you have your own space and interests which are just as valuable and significant on its own. #6) See #5 #7) Spot on! It shows you are paying attention and both appreciate and support what we are doing. #8) This is an absolute necessity. Not being genuine is a type of lying, and lying is completely unacceptable in an intimate relationship.

[@MichaelEdwardWright1]

The 8 items sound correct to me. I’m an INTJ scientist.

[@iurk0_streaming]

For non INTJs, a little disclaimer: having an opinion is important, but if it's not an informed opinion based on sound logic... let's say that you need to look for friends or relationships in other MBTI types

[@Mindimalist]

Haha 😂

[@RishaBond]

Lol, it literally drains my energy to be around someone who can't defend their arguments. I recognize it drains other types to constantly be in that mode -- us INTJs generally have no chill -- but it's a sign of incompatibility.

[@andreashalay7473]

I'm INTJ. I endorse this message.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

When you are here, because you want to know if someone flirts with you and or to not be manipulated by people you don't like or trust... yes I'm an INTJ. (ps: special and intelligent humor is the most important thing to me)

[@fifi3111]

I am an ENFP and my boyfriend is an INTJ and sometimes an INFJ. I feel the same way as the part mentioned in the video. He needs his me-time. This was also the part that I couldn't accept at the beginning. But later we communicated and adjusted the way we get along with each other. Now We have a great relationship. He really likes to take his time and doesn't like that I keep asking him things he doesn't want to say. Regarding the gift part, he also thinks that having the intention to give a gift is the most important. As for expressing my own opinions, sharing and being myself, because I am an ENFP, I believe I have done a good job in this part, which may be why he likes me.

[@brennanbosco9477]

INTJ here, love for us is not logical. We don't have Ti (that's an IXTP/ INFJ thing) which makes the interworld more logical. We have Fi especially if the INTJ is a jumper we want emotional love. not logical. We extrovert thinking which means we are going to come off very logical and cold because of a Fe blind spot, but emotional interworld.

[@brennanbosco9477]

to be completely honest this seems to be how to date a Ti savor like an XNTP type.

[@Mindimalist]

Sure it's not, as I said INTJs want to feel the warm and fuzzy love, their way to reach that love is what for other types might seem rather rational. For us ENFPs the experience (how we fall in love) is totally different for instance.

[@brennanbosco9477]

@@Mindimalist fair point. maybe it's me being a Fi jumper that makes the romantic love a bit easier to hit me. I also did notice a bit of your Ne come out with especially when wanting to teach the INTJ something new. I guess I misinterpreted it for thinking you thought the INTJ wants to learn stuff for the sake of learning it. which is Ne, thus saying it was for attracting Ne-ti savors

[@joshuamorris4853]

I appreciate you so much and I am so glad you are making these videos :) (intj)

[@Austin_Schulz]

Yooo, INTJ in San Antonio here. If you're Catholic, in the area, an ENFP, I would LOVE to meet you 👀 😂

[@Channel29andHalf]

The much awaited video!! This video had some really deep insights!! ✨✨Loved the disclaimer 😅

[@Mindimalist]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻☺️

[@Reindeer911]

These ideas will work well with an INFJ also. I'm personally right on the line between being an INTJ and an INFJ, and can identify with both.

[@asivicosophia3290]

Am intj female i love ur work❤️❤️.

[@YeonAooJ]

what a massive infos! I'd love to try this later! Thanks for giving me an advice!

[@chantararix]

"You cannot push yourself to be someone you are and you can never be" This should be the first rule. INTJs value authenticity. They know that a facade do not last long, so dont try to impress them as someone you are not. 1. I dont think INTJs like to be "challenged". They hate confrontation for a reason, They are Ni-dominants, first and foremost. But sharing your opinions will be preferable because THEY WANT TO SEE ALL THE OPTIONS. Your opinion is not a challenge, it is another POV they could use to formulate a proper analysis.

[@AzraiRazuan]

For No.1 do have an opinion that is well thought and logical. An opinion without any substance isn't good. Definitely don't express an opinion just for the sake of having one. For your explanation on No.2, I'll add that I'm not nerdy (I think). With Ni/Te. I'm a deep thinker and like to ponder deep questions, generally existential in nature or specific to projects I'm into. Lastly, if you have to pick only one tip... Be Genuine and Authentic... Have a mind of your own, have goals, be independent and driven. Yet be kind and hold values Outgoing nature would be nice as it complements our introvert nature.

[@FF-zv5ho]

here is lonely intj male waiting for somebody to fall in love with.....😄

[@KatanaKamisama]

1: Have an opinion. Yes. But more importantly have an INFORMED opinion. If you have an opinion, but you can't defend it, because you haven't researched WHY you hold that opinion.. 0 respect. 2: Teach me something. I mean... if you can sure. INTJ's ARE open to corrective / constructive criticism. Just be sure that your way IS in fact better, and have good logic / research to back it up. 3: Shard something significant. I don't think this applies exclusively to INTJ's, and has a lot of overlap with point 8: Be yourself. What INTJ's DO value highly is deep meaningful conversation. We find "small talk" tedious and pointless. So if you want to get an INTJ's attention, it's most effective to go deep, and keep it there. 4: Learn about what they Love. Absolutely. INTJ's WILL chat your ear off if you engage them in a subject they are interested in or have studied. And if you are interested in them as a person it behooves you at least be aware what their passions are, and have a basic understanding there of, so that when they talk to you about those subjects that you can participate in the conversation instead of just being "the wall". 5: True and on point 6: True and on point 7: Demonstrate that you payed attention if you buy presents. True. INTJ's generally don't desire or expect presents, unless they know there is a social convention such as birthdays and Christmas where it is expected that gifts are given. IF the INTJ has reason to expect a gift, and one isn't presented they MIGHT feel ignored / unloved. But if you make them feel seen and loved, a physical present is not exactly required. But if you do whish to give a gift to an INTJ, follow Mindi's recommendations, and DO NOT get us things we would never use / wear because then we feel obligated to keep them even though they are useless to us. 8: Be genuine, be yourself. No one likes interacting with a fake person. But INTJ's value authenticity more than most. To the point that we often come across as rude because we would rather be honest than fake nice. SO if you want an INTJ to like you, absolutely don't be fake to them. It's okay if you're being "socially polite" to other people, as long as that politeness doesn't obligate the INTJ in any way. They have no interest in being friends with people that you had to be "fake polite" with.

[@KatanaKamisama]

Forgot to add onto #2: If you let an INTJ teach YOU something, or ask them for advice AND ACT ON IT, they will feel invested in you as a person. INTJ's enjoy fixing things; be they systems or people. They also like to see growth in themselves and their partners. If you demonstrate the ability to level up and accept input, AND you are able to constructively hold the INTJ accountable at the same time... that is GOLD.

[@digitalissplit]

My friends know that it's best to ask me what to buy for a present.

[@klon3579]

Technically an ANTJ, INTJs' typical third function is Fi, mine is Ti, so just know what I'm about to say is coming from Antarctica in a refrigerator. I think there's some good advice in this video but approaching an INTJ with an opinion is very much like telling them you love them, in the sense that your opinion may really intrigue that INTJ or they may just think you're an idiot and never want anything to do with you. If your goal is to attract them, just be yourself. Act goofy as you do and make jokes and talk about interesting stuff, we find that charming and attractive and that's really all it takes I think. I find it rather attractive when ENFPs are being goofy and entertaining both in the way the act and communicate. I imagine just sprinkling some romance onto that will make the xNTJ fall for you.

[@mattblom3990]

Texting an INTJ I'm taking a fancy to today and somehow this gets suggested on KZbin...Whatever creepy tech is occurring here, THANK YOU KZbin.

[@jakubwrona2040]

To be honest, INTJ are pretty good at sensing someone forcing himself to act in a particular way. So yes, you're probably right, but it should be natural and come naturally in order to make him fall in love with you !

[@johnknight9150]

Some of this is more on the advanced side, but around the 6:00 mark I would also add to have a really interesting and/or tasteful aesthetic. I know I go instantly gaga for someone who has an exotic royalty about them, especially if they are well spoken. Secretly, we want to worship you like a queen. BUT... That could backfire I suppose because we might be too intimidated to make any kind of move! ;-) Otherwise, here are some basics: 1. Develop a taste for dark humour if you don't already have one. No one does dark humour like the British. Check out something like Jimmy Carr or Black Adder. 2. Be open minded, especially about other cultures, other foods, and other ways of doing things. 3. Be a critical thinker. Please, please, think. Don't take things on face value. 3.5. Opinions are not the same as facts and do not hold the same validity. You won't get far with an INTJ if some kind of "personal truth" is the same as an objective fact. If you disagree on a point, construct an argument based on evidence. We don't mind being wrong about something if it's verifiable or objective. 4. Be classy. Elegance is our secret fetish that brings us to our knees. 5. Instagramming your Kardashians on a selfie-stick will make us run a mile (Keeping Up With The Kardashians is the worst thing in the world!). If you're heavy on social media, try disconnecting and exploring what's really happening in the world. Try new foods, new music, new cinema, learn a language, learn an instrument... anything like that will be appealing. 6. Be weird and be proud. Unconventionality is always appealing to an INTJ and we will never dislike you for being weird. 6.5. Be nerdy. Don't have good taste in aesthetics? Aren't well spoken? Not particularly elegant? Then you can make up for it all by being nerdy. Nerdy women ARE THE BEST! Especially women with glasses... And knee-high boots... Ahem... that's enough ;-)

[@Mindimalist]

OMG, I loved your point 3.5 especially. "Opinions are not the same as facts and do not hold the same validity." Absolutely!!! That's why a Ni dominant is better suited with a Ne dominant: a box of infinite ideas LOL!! Ne dominants are the ENFP and the ENTP. I have a video explaining how the mind of the ENFP work, but it applies 80% to an ENTP as well. Have a look at it here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6nUkp-wlNWpgbs

[@johnknight9150]

@@Mindimalist Wow, I thought that made me sound cold and harsh, but... cool. :-)

[@Mindimalist]

@@johnknight9150 haha definitely not. Curious to know what you think of the video recommended.

[@johnknight9150]

@@Mindimalist Cool video, though "subconscious"(ly) is a naughty word in psychology. :P (See Freud's footnote in his paper The Unconscious, Jung had a rant about it too). I used the word "efficient" in my comment on the ENFP video, but I have to say I actually kind of hate that word as an INTJ -- it's very... ISTJ? It makes me think of bureaucrats with clipboards who don't have any fun. Videos about INTJs always mention that we are trying make things more efficient, but I don't think that's quite right... almost right. We're trying to make things easier and simpler, and not just for us, but for everyone. I guess that is efficiency, but despite our systematic thinking, I think INTJs all have an anarchist side. I find the Joker in the Dark Knight very easy to relate to in some ways. Whenever I see a stuffy, repressed, clipboard carrying accountant or bureaucrat, I just want to say, "WHY SO SERIOUS?" Why not introduce a little anarchy. So I don't mind being efficient, but I kind of hate being called it... maybe? It's kind of a weird trigger, it's probably showing me a part of myself I don't like.

[@Mindimalist]

@@johnknight9150 Lol! I had to immediately think of this series, super cool, with a woman with the most correct life but bored as hell, who transforms into an anarchist www.netflix.com/nl-en/title/81069541

[@nafisesh7822]

True 👍 specialy present part

[@supersaiyan8437]

Knew an enfj that was “obsessed” with me but never tried to get to know me or my interest on a deeper level so I just stopped engaging with her

[@tripletvn]

18:30 why not INTP and especially INFP when INFP is the most genuine type out there? :) (but that's just an example, the whole point and the whole presentation are truly valid, great job and thank you!)

[@nobodyhere4667]

INTJ here, this is my response to your fun list; #1 - Yes otherwise there is nothing to grab onto, nothing to sink your teeth into. Lol I want to see your Narnia :p (as in secret world) #2 - OMG YES! Nothing gives me butterflies more than a womyn who can spark my sense of wonder. #3 - Spot on again :) #4 - Yup! It also helps if the INTJ doesn't have a bunch of mainstream interest. I know I find it easier to speak about something I have even a small amount of interest but things like sports teams or celebrity gossip, I don't think I could make myself retain any of that info because it is so undesirable to me. I would probably drift back in my own mind and the boring information would just float past my ears and die crashing to the floor. Maybe if the person was SUPER important we could attack it like a mental exercise but otherwise I would struggle. #5 - 100% - I don't like what I start to become without that ability to decompress alone. My ex-wife was Columbian, no idea her MBTI but she would harass me and keep poking when I was trying to escape. I did not enjoy it. #6 - I love doing the boring regular running around basic life requires with a significant other. That being said, a self reliant womyn, and she doesn't have to be good at it but she has to be willing to try is extremely attractive. I have met womyn who, looking back were probably putting on a bit of a act, in the cliché of a "bimbo" or "airhead". Twirling the hair, pulling gum and one person claimed she didn't know how to put gas in her car. I don't know what group of men that decided helpless womyn were attractive but I doubt it is primarily INTJ's. #7 - YES 100% - remembering a detail or buying something that required some thought or fore planning (kinda makes sense) would win so much favor with me. I know I struggle with feeling like people don't really and truly hear my words. So if someone buys or gives me something with that thought in it and it shows you were actually listening, it means so much to me. It is the meaning behind things that motivates us. #8 - Yes, absolutely. Who you really are is what we are interested in. A façade will also make some seem fake and that is not something I think most INTJ's would like. I have a very difficult time being around "Plastics" people. We figure out the lie and then it is like a giant neon sign we cannot un-see. That was fun. Mindi, I think you understand the INTJ very well. At the very least, you got me down. 😁

[@Mindimalist]

To your point 6 I'd add up that there's something in our genetic as species, that pulls us women to appreciate and even feel attracted to a man who is protective and goes first to put the gas in the car before she even bothers to do it (and vice versa). Of course, she can do it, and probably she has no problem doing it, but many women will appreciate their man fixing their car, filling the tank, and whatever other physical activity you can think of. (for sure some women won't want that, but by nature, a woman will feel attracted and appreciated this way) Independence should not kill romanticism and polarity in a relationship. Without polarity, there's no attraction. I talk about that in another video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gIjTp4Noo6-em80

[@NoDnaJustRsa]

I'm an INTJ and I'm not drawn to ENFPs , intentionally...I prefer INFPs and ENTPs.

[@livinsimon7029]

No you can't make crazy about u without he approves his mind to go crazy 😂

[@coolbreez]

May be "like" is a better word that " fall for" here, it sounds a bit devious to INTJ like me. But, overtime i will find out through assessing consistency in a person's behaviour whether he has learnt something from such kind of video to impress me once in a while. Being genuine for sake of it is not so easy!

[@IsmoYliviiri]

If you want to buy present to INTJ buy a book where to learn something or book for INTJ's hobby's. If you like INTJ show that clearly, because most likely INTJ wont understand that you do.

[@pclever828]

1) Have an opinion: "Thinking" comes along with facts or logic. Too many Women tend to confuse "Thinking" with "Feeling" which does not require facts nor logic. The first thing an INTJ will say when a notable opinion is given is "Why?". Your point about connecting with his intellect and thereby opening relationship possiblities is correct. 3) Share something significant: The better words were "Weird" and "Dreams). For an INTJ boundaries are made to be pushed against and not to keep things inside. This kind of pushing can be very intimate for an INTJ as it opens vulnerabilities. 8) Be yourself. An INTJ knows what is fake and may put up with it if other things are really good. If the other things aren't there, then this is what he will focus on.

[@RishaBond]

Lol, why make this a gendered thing? Plenty of men (like an INFP friend I have) confuse thinking with feeling as well. -Signed, an INTJ woman

[@pclever828]

Like it or not Male and Female INTJs are Apples and Elephants. When a Woman brings the “I” and “J” to the table guys don’t seem to hang around until deeper qualities shine through. Male INTJs get “Friend Zoned” until they have their STEM Degree and Female Hypergamy kicks in. I think a Female INTJ needs to be on the search for a Male INTJ before he starts his first STEM job. BTW: Feeling-Type Men can be attributed to the emasculation of Men over the past Seventy-years. This STEM-Educated INTJ Male relocated overseas and took a foreign wife. An INTJ Female should be able to analyze this dynamic in a way most Western Women cannot.

[@sonali.s864]

Thanks for sharing this. How to trust a INTJ guy when they not picking phone and now telling where they with whom?

[@Mindimalist]

Change the guy 😜

[@sonali.s864]

@@Mindimalist :(

[@AndreKochDre]

Hmm.. as an INTJ, yes I agree with your points however, u also mentioned something about INTJ pairing with ENFP / ENTP.. honestly I dont see how an INTJ can pair well with E types, but I'm open to discussion

[@gabrielnadia1085]

E takes you out of your shell when you need to stop overthinking and be refreshed. You need a well balanced and mature one that is energetic in one's own space and is ready to be guided into enjoying structure, which your I will bring. You need to be well mature and balanced also to be able to bring a positive improvement in their life without being too judgemental, causing the attempt for growth to fall on the ground of resentment.

[@timhill356]

Great info, right on everything once more.From my point of view these are just healthy and fun thing you would do with someone you value. I curious if ENFP would appreciate the same treatment as much as a INTJ? Yall would probably like it more.

[@Mindimalist]

I have made a full video about the key things that make an ENFP fall for someone. Check it out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fWmXgGWunZd8lbs For sure “being genuine” is one of the overlapping traits, but there’s more that I consider more relevant for ENFP’s than these 8 points for INTJs.

[@Arieswitch47]

Asking me questions about what I'm doing or working on will probably irritate me, unless I feel you are someone That could grasp it with a brief dissipation. If you require me to explain step by step with questions because you don't understand it, I'll probably just find an excuse to exit the situation. INTJ's are very private people. It takes a while for us to open up with private things we have assigned a value to.

[@madabout4628]

I am INTJ - though i LIKE SOMEONE -i WILL ACT LIKE I HATE THIS PERSON - SO EVEN THOUGH A PERSON WILL MaKE ME LOVE HIM -He has to know we won't be able to express it as we want!!!!!!! Recently a guy came to me and even fucking touched my shoulder - but I said loudly "don't touch me, I don't like it "-and he just left the party, and I like him but i cannot control my fucking emotions! Thank you for reading))

[@mshshchkln6797]

Video that only INTJs will watch

[@skylrv]

im an intj and idk if this has to do with mbti but i instantly liked ur channel, and i couldnt stand another mbti channel who was a ESFP or ISFP. And btw i noticed in some of ur videos, u have this squeaky chair making squeaking sounds every time u move, and it kinda got me cracking up😂💀 especially at 15:20

[@Mindimalist]

Lol, my chair!! I didn't notice before, but on this video I did, while I was recording I thought "damn I should move less"... But I get carried away 😂 and forget. Nice to hear you like my channel 💜

[@skylrv]

@@Mindimalist yeah it was actually in many videos i watched.. about intj/enfp. it just became more and more conspicuous the more i watched😂

[@LAStars-sratS]

🤔 With the ‘have an opinion’ part. If you disagree, a better way to handle it is to ask how they came to that conclusion, make them explain their thinking, then if you see fault in that process, state what is missing or how to do it better.

[@hollyhayes9640]

1. Be an ENFP. ☺️

[@ilajourney7831]

That is so true.. Feel like u really understand them tho. Definitely will subscribe bcoz i lov this so much 😄

[@mcopaal5926]

As an INTJ, if i want to flirt with someone......what personality is she?.....if she is an INFP i might scare her away. So before trying to lure in an INTJ, you should know the person in question is indeed an INTJ. Wich might take a long time....

[@JeffreyWillis800]

As an INTJ, I will sometimes challenge a girl who directly tells me they like me, by trying to see what their ideas are in their heads, and then seeing if they can comprehend discussions about those ideas. But I will also say that I have been happy in the past with a good smile, a loving personality, and some good curves (either small or voluptuous).

[@ezpz4646]

Not going to lie those are traits I look for but If I don't find them physically attractive to the very least my bare minimum standard I wouldn't give two s**** they could bring me water from the moon and still get ghosted.

[@selaluoposisisiapapunpresi7982]

just be the chess master

[@yt-sh]

1. Have an opinion 😂👏

[@cathyohare7835]

Only watching this as an intj so I don’t fall in love

[@urnaauukaa4280]

Thanks 💕💕💕

[@deperez8877]

Hey can anyone tell me what kinda things intj like to do on first date?! Thanks!!! Im enfp

[@alinebaruchi1936]

All the intj I know need medication that you can't replace from SUS 🤘 They are nice people, actually But they are panicking

[@Habu_habu]

Really, y'all think you can catch us😂😂😂

[@MrCLIVEX]

We know what you want

[@chosen7127]

Its just simply being intj's pet project.

[@TEAMHYBRID007]

I like your high-value Insight on this particular personality type however your chair moves around too much and it distracts me from what you're saying but you impress me and what you're saying with your words I will finish the video Even though I got 15 minutes left I hope

[@Mindimalist]

Sorry about the chair, i noticed too but didn’t want to cut my inspiration to change the chair 🙈 (I was in a flow state talking lol) I hope you could finish it :)

[@JeffreyWillis800]

oh gosh, it is very, very unlikely you will teach me something new about something I am interested in or want to learn about, unless you really do know what you are talking about. And then I am interested. And if I think you are attractive (in my own odd INTJ way), you will have me interested in getting to know you better.