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@TheDiaryOfACEOClips3 ай бұрын
📺 Watch the full episode here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6vChH1ridV_gJI&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
@Brian-rq2ir3 ай бұрын
Remarkable format and thoughtful questioning. Very helpful in every episode
@projectqueenbee55293 ай бұрын
Love this woman; HATE the lighting, does weird things to my eyes.
@TC-fg4gz2 ай бұрын
I've experienced it mainly with other women in my old team.. they were my subordinates & I do believe it was jealousy and a case of dunning krueger on their part. I'd been doing the job for 15 years but they felt like they knew it all after a few years.. I still don't know everything now after 20-odd years & constantly learning and reflecting!
@enock832 ай бұрын
One thing my mentor taught me a long time ago that worked well for me was this: focus on the people that respect you and the rest will follow eventually. I have found that to be true for me.
@slywitit74822 ай бұрын
Makes a lot of sense
@lmiller14132 ай бұрын
Great advice. Thank you
@enock832 ай бұрын
@@lmiller1413 no problem 🫶🏽🤙🏽
@joannbarthold30322 ай бұрын
Amen thats good!
@Userxyz-z2d2 ай бұрын
Excellent
@Yetipfote3 ай бұрын
"do you have anything beneficial to say? If no then don't talk." this is very very good.
@tylerdee613 ай бұрын
this is like baby brain level analysis
@tylerdee613 ай бұрын
@@zzzz-r5b because i'm a genius, baby boy.
@skyefab3 ай бұрын
This would apply to the majority of the population.
@natatattful2 ай бұрын
@@zzzz-r5byou obviously missed the point
@natatattful2 ай бұрын
There was nothing wrong with her first example of “I have a question.” “Do you have something beneficial to say?” To her I would say, speak for yourself.
@bigdoze1723 ай бұрын
They teach this in US Marine Corps leadership training. They call it command voice and command presence. Has been very helpful for me ever since learning it.
@realweisbrot3 ай бұрын
If I’m not in the US Marine Corps, how I can learn it in in everyday life? Just learning by doing or do u have some special advice ?
@helenamuniz52693 ай бұрын
Get Down & Gimme 50 You Big Dosser!!!🗣️
@opsgreg83923 ай бұрын
@@realweisbrot👆
@kennedyj70233 ай бұрын
Same
@bigdoze1723 ай бұрын
@@realweisbrot I think she does a good job of breaking it down at the very beginning of this video. Its about projecting confidence with a strong tone of voice and strong body language. Let the room know “I belong here” its kind of a delicate balance though. You dont want to be yelling at people. I run into it alot at work when you’re in a room with alot of people having multiple different conversations, all these conversations tend to slowly get louder as everyone is unconsciously speaking over everyone else. In that moment, I have to read the room and sort of proudly/confidently raise my voice slightly above all of them to say “Hey! Guys, its getting way to loud in here, lets try to bring it down a notch.” (I work in the operating room.) Eye contact is also a big body language tool. I was taught to always try to notice what color someone’s eyes are when I first meet them. But ya its hard to exactly put into words. I honestly don’t remember exactly how they taught it to me. Just try not to seem like someone who is overly timid because people will tend to disregard you or feel like the can just talk over you. Be loud and proud but not too loud. And speak up when you believe what you have to add is important. Good luck 👍🏼 i hope this helps ✌🏼
@user-oc7uu8ss1x2 ай бұрын
Watch out with never speaking in meetings because you are too concerned with your ‘contribution’ score. If you are silent, the person who speaks will get higher up in the corporate ladder, you will be ignored and overlooked at. So what to do? Something that helped me immensely to add to the conversation is ASKING QUESTIONS. 3 things happen when you do this; 1. You are talking, so people notice you. 2. You will be considered as a critical thinker, because you ask questions. 3. You will have added value because 9 times out of 10, other people have the same or similar questions but don’t say anything.
@vivianeze48892 ай бұрын
You hit the nail on the spot...That has been one of the tactics that has helped me tremendously
@sanane665432 ай бұрын
why fake being interested just so you can move up? better to show with actions instead of words. trying too hard to be someone your not will drain you untill you burn out and then what? you are at a point where you are in a worse spot then you started even if you moved up
@kristamanahan81142 ай бұрын
Yes and no. I’ve been in meetings where people try this tactic and only reveal how little they understand not only the company but their own role. 😳
@stormchild8312 ай бұрын
@@vivianeze4889 " Hit the nail on the~ Head... ok, call me pedantic ..( :
@trusound1702 ай бұрын
Again, don't ask stupid questions. Make sure your questions are valuable and not just filler. Ask worthwhile questions.
@fugitive888883 ай бұрын
Ifvyou are too nice, too good, people will perceive it as weakness
@jennifereverett62982 ай бұрын
True, that does tend to happen. And the greedy, manipulative sorts tend to take advantage of those who won't push back and demand. Sometimes I'll push back while at other times, I let people lean toward abusive knowing that I am putting up with the behavior for as long as necessary and that as soon as a better door opens, I'll be out. I tend to think of this as letting people show me their true colors and that I have no interest in twisting arms.
@blu3j00LsАй бұрын
This is the harsh reality.
@GoneSpeaking-zj3blАй бұрын
Because it IS weakness
@al87221Ай бұрын
@@GoneSpeaking-zj3blmy biggest weakness is being too good
@fallon1227 күн бұрын
@@GoneSpeaking-zj3blNo it’s a weakness to be nasty, arrogant and self-centered.
@6IGNITION93 ай бұрын
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” -Abraham Lincoln _See also: Proverbs 17:28_
@wealthyspaces11313 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤
@ayomideotunba3 ай бұрын
Word!
@abhishekdarjee70693 ай бұрын
Advice to young find out urself don't follow what they say what I mean by that is do silly things do dumb shit(not like killing and stuff) and learn from the consequence. These guys work and figured out and may be they are right but u need the journey , everyone looking for the answers that so wrong find ur own answers my guy.
@Astuga3 ай бұрын
Sometimes in a meeting it's better to ask questions then to just ventilate an opinion.
@vivaansethi3 ай бұрын
True but of course not every quote is applicable in every situation, this is true only with people you’re just building rapport with.
@yehmen292 ай бұрын
'Half the meetings I go to, I don't speak'. I love this lady! I have worked in quite a few companies where the managers and the directors suffered from 'meetingitis', i.e. we'd spend several hours a week and sometimes a day in meetings... totally fruitless. Just platforms for their egos... 'When I'm the least smart person in the room, I am happy'. Definitely the opposite of a narcissist!
@davidm45662 ай бұрын
As a teacher I use this stuff all the time. Sometimes just slowing down, giving extra attention to enunciation, changing my posture (leaning in, etc), and dropping my volume is all it takes to get their attention focused back on me.
@im-gi2pg21 күн бұрын
“Uh-oh, better pay attention, Teacher just put on his serious voice!”😂
@KwertyKeys3 ай бұрын
I have experienced this - I say something I know is valuable, but I get ignored. I repeat it a few times and still get ignored - THEN, another person will repeat what I’ve just said, almost word for word, and everyone turns to them and says ‘That’s a great idea, let’s do this ’ and my idea - which I’ve just said out loud several times, is now credited to them. It’s so frustrating seeing your work be ignored, but then blatantly stolen and credited to another, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. I left the company after that happened six times, and I set up as self employed. I know this happens to other people, mostly women.
@CastleHassall3 ай бұрын
hey things like that happen to me a lot too, getting spoken over like I'm not even there then if i tell them to not do that they act like I'm the one being rude i hope things work out really good for you
@judasblewit3 ай бұрын
Glad you left. No one should be treated like that.
@nerychristian3 ай бұрын
If people are ignoring what you say, then maybe you are not saying something valuable. I'm a quiet person and shy. But when I speak, I make sure to say something that will be useful, so people listen to me
@Noora11_33 ай бұрын
Oh, that's soo frustrating. It's happened to me too, and after a while you just give up and stop Contributing. Like what even is the point
@Brainjoy013 ай бұрын
I left a civilian military job as a woman because I would give ideas out left and right, like huge ideas that could really change things in tech. I was ignored for months. Finally, my coworker says he'll implement the idea after our boss flamed us for no deliverable in time (they wouldnt even allow me to write code even with my engineering degree). Boss loved it so much, he gets every higher up to allow us to show it to them. Not one thank you or good job, they all are so impressed with coworkers coding. I quit after many presentations to investors. Last I heard, my ex boss called and said they sold it to a large search engine company you may know of, and thanks for the help. He asked me to come back. Said no. Now I tell women that if you work in tech, get buddy buddy with the in house patent and copyright lawyers.
@neelgowariker64562 ай бұрын
I like the fact that she applies what she says. In the first 4 mins. of this interview, when he started talking, she immediately went silent and let him speak.
@SweettoothMarie772 ай бұрын
😅
@tommythompson31893 ай бұрын
"I set the tone", this is how I handle my meetings. Love how she said it!
@durchlaucht70502 ай бұрын
You teach people how to treat you!
@hotoceanmusic72663 ай бұрын
I was mentored from the start of my career by high-level Japanese factory managers. The basic philosophy was that leadership is responsible for providing the necessary and sufficient conditions for subordinates to succeed. And when they did not succeed (short of sabotage and blatantly disregarding rules/procedures, a rarity), then the leader must reflect on what conditions they did not sufficiently provide, and rectify the situation accordingly. To sum it up, the shit tended to roll uphill in the Japanese factories that I worked with.
@HumanityInCrisis2 ай бұрын
Which I think is true in most cases. Because they are responsible for creating the environment
@allbirdsarecats2 ай бұрын
Admirable. In the west it's always fingers pointing down, to the people with the least power and influence and lowest pay. Makes no sense. Because they don't prioritize the mission of the company. They only prioritize their own self interest or rather, politics and protecting their position. There is no accountability in the corporate culture here. It's all assigning blame and no discourse can be had because even seeking to understand a situation is received as insubordination.
@koolbeans8292Ай бұрын
That's called conservatism..
@lulumoon6942Ай бұрын
👍🙏🕊️
@jojo57152 ай бұрын
At 7:10 you talk about setting up initial boundaries and not being people's friend, and then later you can relax. I learned this as a substitute teacher. I was given this advice before I started, but couldn't follow it for real at first, and would give in too soon. If I was soft during the first 15 minutes, the rest of the day would be a nightmare. If I was super strict during the first 15 minutes, even a little cranky, after that I could be buddies with the kids and things would go smooth. It was all about the first 15 minutes of my time with a class, and I watched the clock to make sure I didn't relax too soon. If I didn't set the standard then, it was almost impossible to get control at a later point no matter how angry and punishing I became. It was crazy to watch this in real time. I leaned to put off my morning cup of coffee till I was already at school so the kids could meet me when I had no tolerance for nonsense. Halfway through the day, I'd let them call me by me first name and could just relax. Sometimes I hated being a hardass during the first bit of class, but it was the key. Other substitute teachers gave me this advice, it took me a few weeks to figure out how to put it into action, since it way not my natural personality. But I learned from this that I could have control and be friends too, it was all about timing. Because of this experience, I try hard not to judge people by first impressions. It's challenging, but manipulative people instinctively know that if they make a good first impression they can screw around later and use it as a key manipulation tactic. I am now overly suspicious of people who make too good of a first impression. I was the opposite, I would get anxious and overwhelmed when I don't know people and often make a bad first impression and then work hard to show my worth. While I'd get verbal compliments on my performance and positive reviews, others would get promoted who were clearly doing less and there seems to be no way to undue that first impression. I want to see people for who they are, I've noticed how most people are fooled, even when later consistent evidence makes it so clear that someone is not who they pretended to be at first. I want to be the person who rewards good work and sees everyone for who they are, even if they are nervous or awkward, and isn't just going on impressions.
@ecik41572 ай бұрын
Oh, that’s so true with the group of kids. I used to take care of group of kids during summer camps. I’ve learned that a hard way
@TPRM12 ай бұрын
Thank you, that was very helpful. The reason first impressions are hard to break is because of cognitive dissonance. Once you form an opinion of someone, your brain doesn’t want evidence that disproves it, because then it has to admit that its first impression was wrong.
@GermaineNimundel3 ай бұрын
I love how she said make sure you are really being disrespected and it’s not just your ego cause someone pushed back! That is so good!! This is not dictatorship
@lozpamphilon3 ай бұрын
I’m a student teacher and I think everything said here is applicable to the classroom too. Very helpful.
@Dplaysitcool3 ай бұрын
And parenting.
@pvtrichardsonbr3 ай бұрын
Tbh every time im in a group of people i notice im always talked over or interrupted. I use to rage over it, now i simply sit back and say nothing until my presence in the conversation is noticed to missing. If its not noticed i know what circle to leave.
@skyefab3 ай бұрын
Choose better buddies.
@stayhungry15032 ай бұрын
the problem is if you dont have a choice to leave, which you very often dont. lets say youre at work or in school and its a team assignment ? you are just going to get up and leave? you are going to complain to the boss/teacher?
@ericantone87092 ай бұрын
Exactly. Best way to get respect is to not give a shit if people like you or not. If they think you want to be liked, they perceive that as weakness.
@hyppiechyck24022 ай бұрын
Thank you! I love the way you paraphrased that!!
@nataliebutler2 ай бұрын
Are you INFP? Not sure why, but it frequently happens to this personality type.
@leannabedore3 ай бұрын
Oh man this is gold. The worst meetings are the ones asking questions on and on and on. It wastes others' time and can tell they are just talking to talk. She nailed it, is it VALUABLE? I have one coworker who does this and she is always late and THEN asks nonvaluable questions too🙄
@tompchromedome2 ай бұрын
these arseholes just want to hear the sound of there own voices
@graceartsgifts3 ай бұрын
I love how confident Evy is and how she breaks down the communication ❤😊 God Bless
@mumo9413Ай бұрын
Been using this for 30yrs parenting/ 40yrs emergency services/OR manager! This is nothing new, but glad this is being vocalised! Be respectful/secure/ straight/ honest!
@Bunny113443 ай бұрын
I love her !!!!!! She is a breath of fresh air. And I agree with the tone. Being petite and people think I’m meek I talk very assertively. So many annoying females at work who talk to just hear themselves.
@jameystone26503 ай бұрын
It's not just women, it's men too.
@Bunny113443 ай бұрын
@@jameystone2650 I’d still rather work with and for a man than woman. Females are too emotional and play a lot of favouritism. Not saying men don’t do this either, but in my experience working with women is usually worst.
@herintuion883 ай бұрын
…
@Andy-uw9cg3 ай бұрын
Women like you just think everything is about you. You're about as relevant as a grain of sand in a desert 🏜 let that sink in and you'll realise you're doing it all wrong.
@LoLa-kw6wn3 ай бұрын
Her book is amazing by the way. As someone not in her sector of work, every 2 or 3 pages made me stop and think.
@CaptivateCat3 ай бұрын
I find it thoughtful of her to ask the one who made the mistake if she did anything that impacted it.
@Tia.K.C3 ай бұрын
My father loves to debate so I’ve had much practice speaking my mind respectfully and authoritatively
@outsidethebox84063 ай бұрын
😂
@charisma42003 ай бұрын
Same here 🤣🤣🤣
@t008623 ай бұрын
My father is so authoritative that he doesn't let anyone speak.
@monbeauparfum14523 ай бұрын
@@t00862this is not authority this is tyrrany… know it!
@deadparrot59532 ай бұрын
@@t00862That's authoritarian, not authoritative.
@carterconklin81642 ай бұрын
I AM THE ONE WHO SETS THE TONE……….that’s so good!!!!!!
@rolandnelson67223 ай бұрын
Contribution score nation is absolutely correct. Somebody can dominate the conversation and talk solid 90% of the time and captive the rooms attention… based on their high contribution score. Then others see this and mimic it… without the contribution score.
@elizabethcartagena-vp5tp2 ай бұрын
I genuinely think like her. Never was afraid of conflict or confronting things. Never understood the pressure of speaking when I have nothing to say, I simply am there to learn. I'm realizing just how toxic my demographic is and I need to leave this place.
@ninjacats16473 ай бұрын
One thing that helps open up the voice so you project more is doing vocal trill exercises. It helps relax the jaw and warms up the vocal chords. Singers often use this technique. People don't often think about the necessity of vocal projection in ordinary life though, so many people neglect their voice outside of certain professions that utilize the voice.
@Deelitee3 ай бұрын
Should one just google vocal trill and exercises to find them??
@bjewel37513 ай бұрын
Yes thank you. This. I needed to read this. Can you recommend some trill exercises?.
@Wandering.Homebody3 ай бұрын
@@Deeliteeduh, what do you THINK?
@robelso56463 ай бұрын
@@Wandering.Homebodywhy are you so condescending? Bro was just asking a question?
@Wandering.Homebody3 ай бұрын
@@robelso5646 I m just reacting negatively to his negative contribution score. It's the comment section equivalent of the eyerollmoment mentioned by Steven 🤣🤣🤣
@jsniffiles3 ай бұрын
I think when she brought up the point on why people think it's okay to disrespect you, I think it's not even about disrespecting you, they are doing it to themselves so it doesn't matter how many times you tell them to stop there going to keep on doing it. This is not a TV show or movie this is real life. People have reasons that communication can not solve at times you just have to let them go. they live a life of self-disrespect, why would you think? they would respect you?. -Jay Alexander
@katblehm2119Ай бұрын
Perfect. 👍🏼🙏🏼
@gregcassar45843 ай бұрын
'Contribution score' - that is very smart. Love that Steven
@lybeat_gang3 ай бұрын
"Contribution score" that's such an amazing concept, so real in life in general! Great conversation, thank you
@jasonkrick16142 ай бұрын
Courtesy is deserved. Respect is earned. I give as much respect as I receive. Learn the difference.
@bitbit68203 ай бұрын
I think this also depends on the environment and people that you are surrounded with. If they are those who love to talk nonsense, they will tend to think you are too quiet or a loser if you don't speak. From my experience, most people in the office just love to talk. They respect those who have humor content, even however many lies or bullshit they hear they won't and don't want to realize it as long as they get entertained and companionship.
@georgehoaau86523 ай бұрын
I learned so many lessons always from your guests and yourself. One of them is to allow your guests to talk more. God bless you.
@craigmerkey85183 ай бұрын
Thank *** I don't work in corporate! Validation seeking is damaging ! Use your instincts and do you!
@peteg90113 ай бұрын
Doesn't make sense. Do you?
@Kelly-pp1et2 ай бұрын
@@peteg9011yes it does. Do you is an expression meaning be yourself
@lorettasofowora86033 ай бұрын
I have to reconsider conflict and be comfortable doing that. It doesn’t need to get ugly. I’ve let so many things go that I shrunk and that’s not okay either. Things have changed since I’ve subtly begun to put in boundaries. Can’t wait to view the whole session
@ItsJustWalt3 ай бұрын
This is me as well
@cigar82413 ай бұрын
I'm 5'7, quite person so, most people pick on me 😂 Wjen that happens I address it right away forninstwncenif I'm on the phone and someone keep cutting me off. I usually let them know,'hey I don't appreciate people that cut me off" if it repeats I escalate and say,"that's rude and disrespectful of you" it works all the time.
@thewebstylist3 ай бұрын
This entire convo on both sides had a ton of value 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@kt_drul2 ай бұрын
That contribution score is real in almost every area of life, at home, at school, church, work, clique of friends..
@valentinewiggins71303 ай бұрын
Every time I try to subscribe to Evy's channel, it pops up with this guy. She has so many great things to say, but his answers go on and on and about just him.
@NikkyGovier3 ай бұрын
Totally agree with your comment, I noticed this and got impatient with him.
@JulieWolf-j6o3 ай бұрын
Ikr, pretty ironic
@johannechampagne73323 ай бұрын
I love his contributions to the conversation. He’s polite, articulate and intelligent.
@carrie45582 ай бұрын
Yep he’s full of himself. Boring
@ActivateDivineDNA3 ай бұрын
She’s so humble yet powerful - appreciate her value always - great content 🙏🏼
@abfowlie3 ай бұрын
As an educator we were taught to be strick with learners in the beginning of the year and more relaxed in the second semester. It is easier to relase control than to try and gain it. All about building habits and boundaries early, much harder to build later.
@Andie10083 ай бұрын
You missed a great chance to address an even more pressing issue, one that afflicts most people, way more than a boss feeling disrespected by his subordinates: a subordinate feeling disrespected by his/her boss, which is much, much more tricky, but also very common. And considering that most people are not bosses, but subordinates, this is quite an issue. Perhaps because Stephen is a boss, he subliminally avoided the issue. He started to bring it up and then, turned it around to make it about the boss feeling disrespected. Most bosses are not like Evy, they blame others for their mistakes, disregard other people’s opinions, etc., etc. And because they have more power, they often abuse it.
@Kinteresting3 ай бұрын
That’s a good point, I do think she did a good job of (indirectly) addressing this by suggesting to turn accountability to one’s self as a leader. And examining how we are showing up in that sense, especially when in a position of impacting how others are able to or feel comfortable showing up. Women are far more likely to naturally possess that mindset- great leaders understand how to cultivate this skill - regardless of gender. So although the direct language was not there and I agree that would have been a great topic to cover more in depth, I like that she at least points this out- and it seems like an idea that’s less familiar to him. Where he’s far more likely to analyze the how and why of what other people are doing. As I know from my own experience, of my own behavior and with observing others - even the most curious and thoughtful minds (sometimes especially us!) have huge blind spots. And intellect does not equal personal development on deeper levels at times. She also mentions ego which- is another indirect mention, some humility and grace for others is far more important than requiring that others keep up their ‘score’ .. it’s all balance but, true wisdom is to know these things, and to still approach from a space of gratitude and humiliate for self and others. (In my opinion, of course!) :)
@giftneggrodemas37853 ай бұрын
@Andie & @Kinteresting.... May I thoughtfully thank you for the contribution and that's allowed me to listen to you both. Brilliant insights. .... When I think on these topics, I always engage with my innerman that says; Respect the Job Description given by the Boss.... & To the Boss, Respect your own worded article articulating the Job description being put into action by the Subordinate. Then, there'll be ethics vs emotions... Ofcourse I'm not employed nor am I a boss, but I always look at this topic around my worded comment. Please enlighten me further, I read to learn. Thank you
@evaadams9593 ай бұрын
A healthy, dynamic between a boss and subordinate based on respect benefits everyone.
@nickjenkins1663Ай бұрын
❤❤❤ true
@oraclegreen793813 сағат бұрын
Same applies
@adriamaral3002 ай бұрын
Some people are just generally bad mannered or basically disrespectful. Something that should have been taught at home. It doesn’t necessarily reflect poorly on the person that’s being disrespected. It actually reflects poorly on the person behaving in maturely. I don’t command respect, however I will not waste too much time on people that don’t have this basic skill.
@billwalton45712 ай бұрын
If their values are at loggerheads with yours, you wont get respected. Only higher ranked people get respect not because they act different but they have power over the persons job.
@ccraig43993 ай бұрын
You are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking why your colleagues doesnt respect you. Ask yourself what boundaries you allowed them to cross in the first place. People DONT respect people that DONT respect themselves. You TEACH people, how you WANT to be treated.⚔️
@StarGazer8073 ай бұрын
I agree in part. Unfortunately, some people are just rude and disrespectful. That's on them. Don't be rude back to them. Set boundaries. Be polite and smile. 🙏
@carolsaia74013 ай бұрын
Agreed. Verbal abusers will fk with you anyway they can. It's a power dynamic/game. Being educated on verbal abuse patterns, help us recognize those behaviors and nip them in the bud. Oh no you don't. And inner confidence leads to outer confidence, but we have to learn it.
@TsoiIzAlive3 ай бұрын
@@carolsaia7401sounds very interesting do you have resources to read up on this?
@youparejo2 ай бұрын
@@StarGazer807 completely agree. We can't control 100% our environment and how people are going to express themselves. But it if happens very often, you are either in a crap industry or there is something you communicate to people that allows them this disrepect
@manimavuso3 ай бұрын
Funny thing is I came here to listen to Evy and hear more from Steven 😅
@KB-yj1fc2 ай бұрын
I believe this is one of the best guest that you’ve ever had on. Great information. Much of this I have learned through life and being in a stressful career .❤this
@asia19242 ай бұрын
This podcast is a gem among podcasts, very interesting conversations, important topics, smart guests, very well mannered host- thank you very much - subscribed
@Peaceandlove8163 ай бұрын
When you were talking about the low contribution score…a therapist told me that if you are scared to speak up in a meeting or group you should, because people will be curious about what you have to say, regardless of whether you’ve contributed before or not…in fact people are more interested to hear new voices than the same regular people blabbing on …but I agree, tone and delivery make a huge difference
@Brian-rq2ir3 ай бұрын
What an exceptional talent. He's close to being one the best hosts on the the internet. Very estute and very thorough,in his line of questioning. I watched this channel 🪴. Congratulations on all of your success and guests should line up. Jordann Peterson I would love to see you two go at it.
@jcronin31553 ай бұрын
Second to Chris Williamson.
@robertwilson8222 ай бұрын
Social sparring! In a boxing Teddy Atlas voice but my analogy: you don't have to jump out of the ring and run away. You don't have to knock them out with one punch of bad intentions in the first round either. Just pop out a light jab.... Maybe it pops their head back.... But you got their attention!!!!! Don't be afraid of their counter punch. Most of the time there isn't one! To me those light jabs are as she explained, tone of voice , eye contact , body language, handling it right there right away.... Very helpful
@MoreThanA-Notion3 ай бұрын
In the most humblest and sincere tone: 1. Great topic 2. Good points 3. Considering the social constructs, these tips are highly effective, depending on the status of the individual (e.g., gender, sex, race, ethnicity, affiliations, access to realistic and especially effective recourse/backup etc.) Consider if this segment was not inclusive of a “White” woman, and a “Man” coupled with a powerful and established position. The dialogue, scenarios, and potential remedies (i.e., if any realistic remedies at all) causes for a different approach
@brianstone44593 ай бұрын
There's tremendous value in waiting until you have something of undeniable value to contribute. Otherwise a person can fall in the trap of trying to be heard, which is a losing game. WANTING to be heard is more powerful.
@waxk93 ай бұрын
How do you know if it’s of undeniable value ?
@brianstone44593 ай бұрын
@@waxk9 Great question. The way you know is by listening to what the outcomes the key stakeholders in the room care about and are looking for. This may take some time and there isn't a hack for this. You have to listen carefully to what's happening in these meetings and ask them to right questions to really find out. Once you feed it back and they confirm, then you add comments with undeniable value around that. its undeniable value because you have already confirmed its exactly what they care most about. Most people get this wrong and talk fast before they speak from an informed space.
@waxk93 ай бұрын
@@brianstone4459 many thanks. this is helpful
@xellinawieland3 ай бұрын
My whole career I got pushed to talk when I should have stayed quiet. This is golden advice that everyone needs to hear. Stop giving the attention to the squeaky wheel and given attention where value is added.
@sumtingwong87683 ай бұрын
I have noticed if i eat meat and fat for breakfast - eggs. Get good sleep, exercise, then i dont even think in this manner. Its when im sleeping 5 hours a night, drinking coffee and being in a rush i get into a "frenzy, nervous mode" then that shows up in communication. The former i have to tone it back even, im too comfortable and might say a cuss word to say something out of pocket because again my body is pysiologically stable vs the latter which is the antithesis of that.
@Catlovers59832 ай бұрын
I love the taking personal responsibility for your part. I had a low Contribution Score. I was the one who could not stand uncomfortable silences when the sales manager asked for feedback. No one else would speak, so I thought it was my responsibility. I also thought I was honoring a guest speaker to ask a question during the Q & A . Learning in my old age to stay silent, unless I have something very important to say. I hope this is one of those times!
@LouiDali3 ай бұрын
This is cool to hear! Ive always been that quiet guy and ive noticed since a while back that when i speak, people listen because i only talk when i have something of value to share. Before noticing this pattern though, Ive always just thought it was a bad thing to not "small talk" or say something just because. Guess im awesome
@catherinejarvis-guemas31143 ай бұрын
Always set boundaries at the beginning of a commited relationship just for yourelf respect 😊
@leahv.25373 ай бұрын
I believe also with having something important to say is learning to encourage others, bring out the best in people, lift people up with that commanding tone! Look at how someone like Tony Robbins does. He has a commanding voice and he's been a #1 motivational speaker forever. Look at great motivators and how they speak. When you learn to bring out the best in people they will respect you, PERIOD!
@dmystfy3 ай бұрын
Love the idea of the “contribution score”
@MrSignSolutionsАй бұрын
You can say all of this but it really comes down to respect, you give you get or you cut those off that don’t get that, people, friends, family customers, simplify your perspective. You will be empowering yourself.
@ToTheTopwithCarlosNavarro3 ай бұрын
One of the best guests yet!
@marymadelynevangelista9799Ай бұрын
Around 6:55 about Boundaries is so true and even for classroom teachers. Clearly explained with great examples.
@jack-gx3 ай бұрын
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
@Jose-lz6cw3 ай бұрын
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
@jack-gx3 ай бұрын
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach one?
@Jose-lz6cw3 ай бұрын
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@jack-gx3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@Rio.Motel.843 ай бұрын
Spam bots
@omarbellamine3 ай бұрын
The key is the perceived value and how you project it. During initial interactions, the primary objective is to evaluate the value of the other person, a process that typically demands time and knowledge about that person. Without sufficient knowledge, and aiming for maximum value with minimal effort, we often rely on the confidence of the other person to make our judgments. Confidence is crucial, but over time, your true value will inevitably become apparent.
@belleofthecamp65303 ай бұрын
So important she says to first address what we / I may have done to manifested action against me. Our universe is a cause and effect / duality system. Taking responsibility within first and foremost is where we will see the greatest change. For me slowing down and pausing to respond or “do” has helped see the bigger picture in the now moment.
@heikekranz909913 күн бұрын
This is a great review of so many things I learned back in school too… Except at present, one of my biggest challenges is upon asking what I can do to help the situation along, I’ve received the answer: “it’s not always about you“… What can you do in a situation like that? And yes, I did ask what I had done to evoke that statement - but also to no avail. My daily struggle is to just realize that some people do not want things to work well -one of my most difficult and painful realizations.
@ajmk222 ай бұрын
Depends who you are dealing with. There are people who speak quietly and articulate that I’d rather listen to than someone over projecting at me. That’s for sure. But think that is a difference in intellect.
@judithholder25372 ай бұрын
I love great use of language & concission; repetition drives me up the walls.
@TheTrock1212 ай бұрын
Learning to breath correctly is critical. Diaphragmatic breathing is necessary for projection and relaxation. I used to street preach some 40 years ago and it still serves me well at work. Deliver the truth w/ no apologies.
@MrTallAndy2 ай бұрын
Paradoxically, clear communication is actually very difficult, and I think we all, by default, believe it's incredibly easy.
@Dreamworx1002 ай бұрын
Yes when people do not say anything or speak up it is worse since the problem compounds into a bigger issue. The hard part is when others do not recognize this.
@modesphotography2 ай бұрын
Great balance of feeling and rationality.
@nancyrentas443Ай бұрын
I have a strong presence and I present myself strong but with humbleness. It lets them know I respect myself and I don’t tolerate child like behavior after raising 3 strong young adults. My daughter says mom these kids you can’t say nothing to them. I speak to them strong but with love and they listen
@jaclynh93433 ай бұрын
Every bloody time I vulnerably assert or speak up for myself I am met w aggression + gaslighting so naturally it makes gun shy about speaking again. I do not feel safe sharing bc most ppl choose to get defensive + turn the tables on you.
@joejones95202 ай бұрын
same...i now try to never be around people, i go months never interacting or even seeing a human..i love it!
@Tsuki77862 ай бұрын
When you put your foot down and stand up for yourself and suddenly the whole conversation is over because suddenly it's "hostile" 🙄😮💨
@chicowasp2 ай бұрын
@@Tsuki7786 So true.Had this happen at work.Finding my role hard,so spoke up for my self.My boss jumped down my throat,could see i was having a hard time,but just made feel worthless,for almost having an opinion.Jumped on me verbally with quick questions,ie ,if i move you to another role,then everybody else will want to moove etc,then i clamed up ,so the person got closer to my face,im speaking to you,im speaking to you ,did not have time to think of a answer ,so felt intimidated,and a little useless.
@CarlosLopez2320.Ай бұрын
Ima say that at family dinners now 😂 @2:00
@davidsummerville3513 ай бұрын
So important in the work place at any level.
@Busybody213 ай бұрын
Absolutely true about contribution track record. I sit in a lot of engineering meetings and this is how it works: for a real life problem, there is hardly a fix that jumps off the page. There might be multiple solutions proposed, all open to valid criticism and interpretation, and not much between them on quick glance. If you have a low contribution record, people will have a tendency to interpret against you. You are now in trouble, as you have to fend off twice the amount of 'concerns' from team members. You will avoid that by 1) speaking only when you have something sensible to say, and 2) formulate your thoughts clearly and unambiguously. It's not so much about peer recognition, as it is about your ability to sell your ideas with ease (your job may very well depend on it).
@sanane665432 ай бұрын
same the meetings always are so boring it drains my energy more than working 6 7 hours back to back
@PhilCraig-vx3upАй бұрын
From $10K to $25k that's the minimum range of profit return every week I think it's not a bad one for me, now I have enough to pay bills and take care of my family
@Louisbrus498Ай бұрын
I'm celebrating a $30k stock portfolio today. started this journey with 6k,I have invested on time and also with the right terms now.
@KaterinaEvan159Ай бұрын
Damn that's huge, how do you make that much weekly? I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
@PhilCraig-vx3upАй бұрын
Oh, yeah. That was possible with the help of my Guru expert, Jenifer Spencer
@KaterinaEvan159Ай бұрын
That's great!!. I don't know anything about investing and I intend to start. What are your strategies?
@Louisbrus498Ай бұрын
The best strategy is starting with a professional coach, as a beginner who knows little or nothing in the crypto market to avoid losing out.
@rohitpaniker84623 ай бұрын
This is what my mentor and my good friend (who works for some kind of intelligence) would say over again and again about "Speak Less", which meant "Speak only that which is necessary without any drivels"
@stephanielux3 ай бұрын
I used a firm tone and I got called aggressive at work. 😅
@doobybro12073 ай бұрын
Cry bullies are everywhere 😅
@mikepapadopoulos59683 ай бұрын
It’s because you are toxic maybe and they sense u are trying to manipulate them
@doobybro12073 ай бұрын
@@mikepapadopoulos5968 oh look Mike the cry bully 😫🐂
@doobybro12073 ай бұрын
@@mikepapadopoulos5968 😫🐂
@Benjaminthemighty3 ай бұрын
Doesn't mean you were being aggressive. It's all about context. P.S. know you're more likely to be called aggressive, because you are a woman
@johnkarcis51423 ай бұрын
Ground breaking stuff people tend to listen more to people who know what they are talking about about..you two serve a peace prize
@firstnamelastname47052 ай бұрын
Don’t over explain to people who are dedicated to misunderstanding you
@cy3182 ай бұрын
She is brilliant. Thank you.
@LeeLee-ct2vv3 ай бұрын
Steven, thousands and thousands meetings😂😂😂
@Gramercy_Stiffs3 ай бұрын
I always remember my first day with what would become my favourite high school teacher. That day he was an overly strict, authoritarian monster who demanded complete attention. He was never that way again, but he wanted to show everyone what he was capable of and why things were a lot better when you did the right thing.
@alfredwotanson79713 ай бұрын
Speak useful words or be silent.
@fazirahabd35312 ай бұрын
This is actually the word of the prophet muhamad peace be upon him.
@joannbarthold30322 ай бұрын
Wow I like it. Thanks!
@musiclovetara2 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for having Evy on your show! She’s awesome!!! As is your channel. Thank you🙏🏼💖
@thegraciefighter1023 ай бұрын
My bias from thousands of meetings is that the person talking loudly and confidently is generally insecure and covering that insecurity and lack of knowledge up using fake confidence
@Irishwild24 күн бұрын
She is a great listener. Wish i was like that. I butt in on people's conversations all the time.
@MEOW-MEOW194921 күн бұрын
Me too 😁
@steve00alt703 ай бұрын
C'mon man, everybody deserves to be listened to. Its disrespectful if someone is trying to say something and ya'll dismiss it. They could have a disability aswell which is downright disrespectful
@gdeetman15903 ай бұрын
Number one rule: No One Cares. And no one deserves anything or is entitled to anything. Earn your shower. Stop dropping the soap
@kamaljeetsingh81233 ай бұрын
gdeetman1590 👍
@Josh-py2pq3 ай бұрын
Wrong. That what’s wrong with the world today. Before social media, the people who no one listens to weren’t able to put their nonsense in play. Be disciplined. You’re owed nothing. Earn or be quiet.
@judasblewit3 ай бұрын
@@gdeetman1590stop dropping the soap 😂
@alsimmons16503 ай бұрын
That's a cream puff comment No one cares. And that's why were in a society full of 🐈.
@bwnco3 ай бұрын
Anyone else click on this because of the pinky blinder dude n picture? I did! Loved him! LOL
@Bobbyjohnson3823 ай бұрын
She has great body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and presence. Although much of what she says is too subjective and is not representative of other work places. It all sounds good, but in reality, there are too many other variables that deviate from what she is saying.
@asrr623 ай бұрын
Yeah who knows what her job credentials are but ive never gotten anything useful from her.
@bgtsy19 күн бұрын
Love that one of her answers was look at self! Accountability Instead of me me me and me and what can you do for me.
@CastleHassall3 ай бұрын
ironic how he talks too much when they are saying about talking too much.. and he does that rather than listen to her when she's the key new info he could learn from.. you could have made your point with pretty much either your first or last sentence and missed out all the stuff in the middle of your interjections no offence meant, i hope you find this useful to consider
@tandrichter3 ай бұрын
I totally agree. I would only add Steven's inability to abstract his thoughts and express them succinctly. The monotonous use of 'like…, like…', followed by a tedious example in the middle of a sentence, is not going to command respect, particularly as a CEO. No offence, Steven.
@naomileigharlim3 ай бұрын
I gather Steven is a bit intimidated in this space with Evy. He’s trying too hard in his explanation but it results in him over talking . His credit score just dropped
@tijan89483 ай бұрын
What a loud mouth, talking about his board meetings. Tool
@LilianaMe1978ro2 ай бұрын
I don't agree. This is his podcast. Is not a reporter taking an interview, ... where the guest is famous and you are just the tool. This is how we get to know him better and understand his motivation behind the questions he addresses to the guests.
@brip71862 ай бұрын
I disagree also, ironically, one of you retained a key moment of something Steven said, which Evy noticed as a “brilliant way to say it”. His contribution score imo, increased, he was just stuttering a bit.
@BB2357323 күн бұрын
This is a great explanation. You have to set boundaries. If you don’t, you will be walked over. The tone setting is a big thing for me. I had to learn that. I work in retail. I had to learn to project my tone in a way that is business mode.
@kingsta41453 ай бұрын
Such brilliant advice!
@violettabicycletta331Ай бұрын
As part of a team at work I have realised that a lot of people will cut you when you speak just to put their 5 cents worth even if they have nothing valid to say .... the egos at work !.
@Bl4ckheart3 ай бұрын
I feel like that only works in certain, rare situations, like in a meeting with group of elites or high performance people, but for the rest of us mortals, being mostly quiet makes you that weird, boring guy, while everyone loves to listen to people who talk for the sake of talking, even when you can clearly see they make up like 80% of stuff they say.
@AnthonyManzio3 ай бұрын
I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 14 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 39 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous haters and are very miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker who follows women after work. All bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and don't try to defend myself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best to ignore them and let them find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums ever win.
@markham569 күн бұрын
I agree that it is easier to establish a tougher demeanor as a new manager, then slowly ease up than to try and get tough after being the nice guy.
@DadInFastForward3 ай бұрын
everyone is former and current cia nowadays.... How effective is a spy agency if everyone says they are or were part of it?
@kafusada10413 ай бұрын
I agree. And that these Former CIA people look so hydrated and seem to love interviews and public speaking makes me kinda sorta like think they are just actors...
@mary-anncarleton75782 ай бұрын
❤❤❤ Also remember that some of us have had throat surgeries and other seasonal allergies that hurt the vocal chords when needing to raise the voice. I agree 💯 percent about the strength or weakness in the voice. I have vocal chords problems and so when I they are fully functional I do speak up. It's so draining when ppl think your a push over cuz we are quiet. So yeah be where your at. Cheers for the video Evy.