How To Make The First Move! | Courtney Ryan

[@tstreb66]

The best rejection I ever got was, "Hey, thanks for asking. I am flattered, but to be honest, I'm not attracted to you and don't want to waste your time. Good luck." Direct communication is what men want and love!

[@josephfogarty6902]

“Rejection lasts a minute. Regret lasts forever.” -Alpha M

[@pviau90]

I think it was more like “REJECTION LASTS A MINUTE! REGRET LASTS FOREVER!” 😆

[@CourtneyRyan]

It’s so true! 👏🏼

[@josephfogarty6902]

@@pviau90 he has a lot of energy!

[@Dwayne7]

Understandable have a great day

[@Stephen-bq4nq]

Yep so true

[@joehepburn7910]

" The worst thing she can say is no. " me: * asks her out * her: I thought you were gay me: * dies inside *

[@iliumboy]

It's sexy if she likes you, it's sexual harassment if she doesn't. One gets you a date, the other gets you reported to HR.

[@RoughNek72]

Ooofffff!!!!

[@randomdude3646]

Lolz

[@jamesmata2945]

Thats why you shouldnt wear yur jeans so tight

[@CourtneyRyan]

💀💀💀💀

[@parabadaba]

Me to myself: "The worst she can say is no." Her: "Ew."

[@Mrmannyguy]

🤔 hits to close to home.

[@beastmomo7457]

if a girl says that, then she is just flat out rude and not worth your time anyway

[@jawaanwatkins6569]

I've experienced this one before. I don't what happened but 2 weeks later she was calling me "babe" and wanting my attention all the time. I just stayed cautious and kept it professional cause I didn't wanna put myself in a position to get disrespected again.

[@spacecowboy5995]

Exactly why I don't even bother approaching these creatures anymore.

[@Lite727]

It has to be the way you asked her then. Don’t make it weird or nothing bruh. Ask her to hand out how you would the boys. Start the convo talking about a movie or something, get balls deep in the convo, ‘you wanna watch it with me’. Done.

[@chenenzejackson]

I don't have a problem if she says no, I appreciate the honesty. What I do have a problem with is her not replying at all. Like I don't exist.

[@angrybellsprout]

The number of times where yes was the last time I ever saw her just makes it that much worse.

[@bricklayerlzdp9825]

Fr. And a lot of women think that's the nice way to say no but in reality us guys prefer your words so we aren't left guessing

[@Dekkard5]

I would take no reply as a no and move on

[@aodh5966]

No one owes you a response, just take it as a no and don't take it personally

[@spacecowboy5995]

If a chick doesn't reply at all, I see it as more of a blessing than anything. It shows you her true colors and saves you time, money, and energy.

[@JohnnySoccer1977]

Courtney’s like that sister that you have that’s always looking out for you especially when you’re having trouble with dating.

[@ldreese33]

Courtney is way cooler than my sister. I do not get along with my sister.

[@kboid5919]

You are lucky man if you have sisters like that. Mine was bitting me and calling names till I was too strong for her.

[@TheCentennial4]

This is the problem right here. Guys that have older sisters or sisters are more confident talking to girls because I got a sister (girl) constantly near them. Guys that have all brothers do not have a female figure to look up for knowledge.

[@hyperelon5067]

@@TheCentennial4 ain’t true for me. I grew up as the only guy in my family. And I suck at talking to girls.

[@iamrojasbaby]

True✅

[@palamecianrider7385]

"Just ask her out" was the thing I always keep in mind especially if the fears start to creep in. Worked wonders but I'm still making sure that the plans are set and my actions done with tact

[@hannaassaad5044]

I wish more girls had a calm smooth voice like Courtney's

[@CourtneyRyan]

🥺🥺❤️

[@Dan-ei2be]

Nowadays these girls got masculine voices eeeeeek

[@hannaassaad5044]

@@Dan-ei2be their voices are nightmares (and they think they have a singing talent)

[@stevenglock]

She doesn’t talk like this at home. This is only to make money

[@pa4760]

Because not every human are same

[@Elluzive]

That feeling when you craft the perfect witty message and get no response. 🙃

[@colinogorman8279]

🤔

[@clintzuleger8918]

Just look at it like practice reps and find someone new and better.

[@jakubb3368]

Logical thing is to actually write somewhat decent, but not too good message. If she's initially interested she'll respond, otherwise you may set up bar too high and lose her interest once you start declining with your jokes and stuff. I had the same experience by the way. A lot of girls just don't have any sense of humor. Still, even my "decent" messages some girls called the funniest they've received so far. Most of your competition is just horrible at texting.

[@lazysnipeify]

Gotta be hot for that to work

[@1badsr]

Always make the first move. Get used to rejection, but get even more used to success.

[@sebastieng-r9764]

Yessir

[@caballerotemplario6734]

Never had any success. Only rejection

[@austinrising4761]

One thing that helped me avoid fear of making a move was going out seeking failure and rejection. As in, “I’m going to go and get 100 overt ‘no’s’ in a row” and if I get a “yes”, it resets the counter. Seeking rejection consistently freed me up more than pressuring myself to go find success.

[@dklang]

No need to seek rejection. Just keep trying 'till you find the right one, and she'll say yes, even if it takes a long time. Sure you will get more no than yes replies, so what, that's the game. Get used to it

[@justin_6381]

@@dklangnah Austin lowkey onto something 💯

[@Kjertinge]

My grandpa always said to me when it came to girls, if I can be brave for a minute the possibilities are endless. Especially if you’re someone who is introverted/shy. If you can just step out of your comfort zone for 1 minute, you might end up with someone meaningful. As soon as you can spark the conversation it’ll become easier as the date or interaction continues

[@gabyk2163]

be brave for a minute get destroyed over and over again for every minute of bravery when u've been rejected as many times as I have, and I can assure u, i've been rejected every time i hit on a girl, u will not have the stomach for any more bravery You'd just want to go hide in the darkest corner and die

[@Kjertinge]

@@gabyk2163 Well that says something about you. Change needs to happen within yourself if you're going to give up that easy. I believe in you, but you need to believe in yourself. Hit the gym, work on yourself emotionally and mentally and you will overcome the fear and rejection.

[@gabyk2163]

@@Kjertinge you have no idea about me, I am cursed, I sit with my friends at events we go to, stye get hit on and even though I am the one leading all conversations and I am all smiles and engaging, it's my ugly friends around who literally get hit on by women and I end up going alone and one more thing, hitting the gym is a crappy advice, i see the herds of gym morons around me and I don't like what i see

[@lujangaming2354]

🙏

[@AliAhmed-pt3ly]

lmao for a second I read possibilities as prostitutes

[@shanejones578]

You’re an angel Courtney. You give a lot of these dudes the encouragement they need to especially coming from a pretty woman like yourself it’s a breath of fresh air.

[@toymachine2020]

If she rejects a kiss say, “it’s ok, I didn’t brush my teeth either” and smile.

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂😂 okay that’s hilarious

[@toymachine2020]

Makes the situation less awkward.

[@quakstak4812]

Or say "whats wrong are you shy 🤭" or "do you think your a bad kisser?" And yeah, always pay attention until they give you the "interested eyes" and smile while you talk to them like 😃, then close the distance to their face and 😎

[@colinogorman8279]

👀😂

[@badrequest5596]

or: you're right. safety first. let me put my mask on first

[@alexanderjacksonart]

'The worst thing that she can say is no'- I think that's one of the better things she can say since the 3rd option is 'yes' and then just flake out later because rejecting people is awkward so just say yes and then pretend to be busy everyday forever. At least 'no' won't waste your time.

[@guitarista666]

Alexander, I think we've all been through that one. I used to have a 3 strikes and you're out policy, but even that can be a little rough, especially if the excuses seem plausible and she is very nice about it.

[@GMell123]

I wish more women would just say no and reject me outright. Save me a lot of grief and time wasted. Ugh!

[@janpauledwarddedios5366]

There is no better teacher than experience so dont be afraid when the opportunity comes along. It's going to be frustrating, tread carefully and pay attention... I think being direct fast tracks things.. time is a precious commodity so use it wisely. Great content. You and my relationship coach have the most calming voice. Thanks for both of you ladies help.

[@chandlerbong1776]

“If she’s staring into your soul, she wants to kiss you” idk why this had me rollin 😂

[@tstreb66]

The only thing that has ever stared into my soul was an owl I saw at the Zoo. Sooooo.

[@thevindictiveking1456]

well maybe you should give it a try ​@@tstreb66

[@bahaatamer1245]

1. Make the first move 2. Ask her out on a date 3. Going for a Hug/Kiss (OH GOD, THE KISS! - THIS ONE IS A NIGHTMARE TO GET IT RIGHT) 4. Physical Intimacy

[@simoneracioppa5733]

In your fantasies... Everyone is good at imaging the perfect date and evolution of the relationship.

[@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return]

@@simoneracioppa5733 how you know it can’t happen for you

[@simoneracioppa5733]

@@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return because Fs nowadays are not relationship material. In anime you can see the main characters being in healthy relationship with Fs (except the bitchy tsundere), in real life you will be only used as free meal doing lots of effort to get nothing in return, while Fs easily go with Chads that get all for free. So no thank you. I'm done, I don't play shitty rigged games. Dating is a rigged game and it's also a hoax/fraud/cheat, call it whatever you like, this doesn't change the fact that men are duped.

[@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return]

@@simoneracioppa5733 how would you know females nowadays aren’t relationship material you are most likely taking your anger out on women by watching red pill vids which has convinced you that all women are the same

[@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return]

@@simoneracioppa5733 you will never get to meet the down to earth girls if you have your gaurd up and quit the game even if it’s mostly bad apples it’s not worth not trying and being alone

[@Natepullup]

To people that aren’t “socially aware,” this video’s gold.

[@FH-is9ej]

So basically the main point of making the first move is to pay extra attention to subtle things. I wish I was a psychologist or a communication expert I think it would help a lot in this case. Anyway's thanks for the awesome video I learned a lot!

[@nathnaielnigatu9462]

i love how you say " ......she would say is NO. but you will survive I promise "

[@Stephen-bq4nq]

I was cursed with scoliosis since my early teens and it destroyed me mentally I lost all my self esteem and confidence. There were so many woman I wanted to ask in my late teens and through my 20's and didn't and I live with regret everyday it never goes away and is a nightmare to live with I am 47. Guys if you see a girl you like ask her out just go for it because regret is way worse than rejection.

[@alexist4223]

I'm 20 and a few months ago I just got diagnostized a scoliosis. It's hard and painful but I try to overcome that and to make it a source of additional power unstead of weakness. I try to work everyday on this and I'll do whatever is in my power not to make it messing up my life! Your comment is inspiring me at my most. I'd like to discuss further with you so here's my skype ID in case your keen on talking your experience (sphinxal3), send me an invite ;)

[@Stephen-bq4nq]

@@alexist4223 I don't have Skype but we can talk on here feel for you it sucks having the condition.

[@Stephen-bq4nq]

@@alexist4223 The best advice I can give you is both physical and mental. Having an x ray so you know exactly how your spine is shaped is important so you can get a rehabilitation programme specifically trailered to you. Chiropractor, osteopath and neuro muscular massage will help keep you flexible which helps with pain. Try to stay as fit as you can and keep an eye on your cholesterol levels for some reason they have been found to go up in people with scoliosis. Now for the mental side of things it's really important that you try to maintain a positive outlook and continue to love yourself. Having a bent spine can make you very self conscious if your not careful and cause you to live your life in a state of deep shame. If you allow this shame to take hold it can consume you and the longer you are in it's grip the deeper you sink into it and the harder it is to get out so be aware of that and don't let yourself become consumed with shame keep loving yourself and keep living. Living in shame will cause you to withdraw from life and isolate yourself which will lead to chronic depression and a lot of missed opportunities in life. Don't shy away from the opposite sex if you see someone you like ask them out if your scoliosis is a problem for them it's their problem not yours just walk away and ask someone else out because there are billions of people in this world. Remember rejection lasts a few seconds regret lasts a life time. I hope things go well for you.

[@nathanlong4801]

I used to think that until I was rejected by the woman of my dreams. It’s better to not ask, and never know. Who knows? You could’ve had a chance. When you get rejected you know for sure the answer is no. Trust me; trying and failing is much worse.

[@gregproefrock4114]

Have you made a video for women on how to make the first move? Thinking of your other video, in which 65% of men are hesitant to approach a woman in public due to fear of how a woman might react badly, and remembering experiences of my friends and me being too intimidated sometimes, and not knowing the non-verbal cues during my twenties and 30s, I think it's more important than ever for women to be willing to be more clear toward men they are interested in. I see a lot of videos, many sources, about how men are to adapt to the socialized ways of women, but I haven't seen many encouraging women to adapt to the ways of men. Example, any obvious indication of being open to a man approaching. A wink, a wave, "Hi" and hold eye contact for a couple seconds, or "Hi. I'm [name]" as she walks by, or "Hi. Let's talk" if she is near enough to hear. I imagine, many people would say like, "Women aren't like that. They're not going to do that." ... But I mean to say, it's important that women become more willing to Show more clearly that they're interested, for the sake of making connection, instead of missing connection. With so many people single, lonely, discouraged, and so many good loving men deterred from reaching out, whether due to internal insecurity or concerns of being judged or blasted socially, then the shortfall of connection becomes partly up to women to remedy. ... And I guess a lot of women need encouragement to be willing to try, to communicate clearly. So, have you or other people made an effective video toward that? Like you do for men; simple tactics to open up a talk, to then get a sense of the chemistry.

[@keithscommunityanddomestic9513]

Courtney, you are the first KZbinr I have considered making financial contributions to. You are awesome, thank you so much for your amazing advise! Really, really helpful. And listening to you is so much better than reading a book.

[@TheCentennial4]

Damn right. She gives excellent advice, nice voice to listen to, pretty but doesn't dress all sexual like other girls for views or attention. Courtney (not her specifically cos I'm not a simp) is the type of woman I really want.

[@Lifes_Frosting]

About going in for a kiss on the first date my advice is to hold off until the second date or just kiss her cheek. If she’s looking at you like she wants to kiss, not kissing her builds tension and leaves her wanting more. You’ll be on her mind and she will be anticipating the next date.

[@tstreb66]

I agree with this. The first kiss on the first date is really unnecessary unless the chemistry and vibes are clear as day. Otherwise, a little kiss on the forehead is so sweet and sufficient for the message you are sending.

[@kmart1303]

I wish you'd do audiobooks. Your voice is so soothing.

[@LoneWolf-yg1mr]

You: “Hey we have a big problem!” Her: “What problem ?” You: “We don’t know each other” It’s worked for me good 😎 By the way Courtney looking lovely as always ☺️

[@marianpavel8293]

Lol dude. I'm gonna use this use. Thank you ❤️🥳

[@marianpavel8293]

Soon*

[@BalezinD]

Funny thing, I used the same pick-up line a long ago....

[@garmisra7841]

Gutsy, my man. Good on ya

[@emyf9197]

Not bad! And this is coming from a girl. Recently I turned on love story from 1970 bcuz of the well known soundtrack. And the first time the two leads meet are not great. The guy is rich and a Harvard student while the girl is a poor music teacher. The girl made the judgement that he must be one of those rich sports jocks and was pretty cold to him when he was returning books at the library where she was also working. But the girl turned around with greatest first move. - hey, just cuz I'm a Harvard student n in the hockey team doesn't mean I'm snub, dumb n douchey. I am academically smart. - no, you're rich and dumb. I'm smart and poor. And that's why I would not go out for coffee with u. - you're really not all that. I wasn't gonna ask u out anyway. - And that's why I was correct, you are dumb to not to. Something of how the convo went...

[@sheva10978]

For me, i use the no kisses on the first date rule. Takes the pressure away and it's purely a get to know you exercise. Also avoids any #MeToo actions. The clip you showed emphasised my point, Do you think it can make her want it more? For next time? I've listened to most of your videos on here. Congratulations on being able to go full time on KZbin. I'm sure you'll continue to grow and reap the rewards.

[@carlossantiago9926]

Your advice is so awesome. I feel like these are things that I've just had to learn through trial and error. You may be the first person I've ever heard verbalize the nuances of simple dating. I really do think you're making the world a better place by laying out a simple, approachable map for guys who struggle to understand how to treat a woman with respect. So refreshing.

[@craiglange4523]

I have watched alot of your videos and you have some great content and advice. The hardest part about meeting people is if you ain't yourself and where to meet people who are single. Haven't spent majority of my youth in a church I found too controlling and the relationships were based on status, not if a couple were compatible at all, now it's difficult returning to the real world after being isolated for so long is where to start. Pubs don't interest me or churches. I'm not a affectionate guy by nature due to my childhood and each new group of people I meet are either single mothers, no thanks or already in relationships. I had a local coffee shop I visited and often caught the attractive young woman staring at me who worked there, she was a nice person but to me too young as I just turned 40 and she is 21. I also found out she is a real party girl, another thing that doesn't interest me. I think the modern world is like a maze in finding what you need or want in life. Thanks for your videos they helped many people and Jordan Peterson psychology on relationships are great to help those looking to navigate through life are a good channel to get the right advice for those who are stuck in life as well😀

[@pviau90]

“Sitting on the couch watching Netflix” Instantly knew where you were going with this 😏😆

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂 keeping it classy here lol

[@almostgifted]

I don't get it

[@EduardoSantos-pv8yo]

@@almostgifted I do 😏

[@almostgifted]

@@EduardoSantos-pv8yo Don Juan up in here

[@masterofdisaster492]

@@almostgifted Google "Netflix and chill"

[@oreocookies1356]

She’s beautiful, well spoken, kind, soft spoken, and down to earth. Great vibes here on this channel. 😎

[@amosbarg]

What I really obtained from this video is how important it is for us men to truly understand biological nature of women. I am up for the challenge and the important thing is to practice these situations as much as possible. Most men will always struggle because we are wired to be more direct with this first move but you have to remember that women will respond indirectly. Take on the challenge to learn evolutional psychology so you get better success for this topic. Great video Courtney.

[@simoneracioppa5733]

Are you really listening a F to get advice for how to get a F? Do you really want to ask a fish how to get fished? No fking way. Fs DON'T FCKING KNOW WHAT THEY WANT!

[@TimSter15]

@@simoneracioppa5733 alright incel. Calm it down

[@Discaptured]

@@simoneracioppa5733 incel detected: guidance provided 🙂

[@mcpartridgeboy]

All wel and good if your you, but im autistic i dont ven remember the basics like dont fidged and keep eye contact, for me to get good enough at anot only spotting the clues but acting on them in the correct way is basically impossible !

[@herculesbrofister265]

Take it one step at a time. Or two maybe. Like don't fidget and maintain healthy eye contact (not an unblinking stare). Work on those two in day to day encounters. Like with people you don't have romantic interest in.

[@carspotter_mike]

I had been talking with a girl on Instagram, everything was going well and then I asked her out. I thought it was a kind message and didn't make a big deal out of it, but she ghosted me ever since… so I "made a first move" but wasn't expecting such a harsh response to that :/ it sucks, I really started to appreciate her, doesn't know what she is missing haha

[@petey1365]

Sorry to hear that bro, maybe in the future try to ask her to come with you to a gathering or party with friends, this way she’s under less pressure. And will be more comfortable

[@gerardoa9179]

Move to the next. There a lot of fish put there. Dont hold because of one

[@shutangmbah8932]

Lol, my first move is mostly like this "hey, why are you so beautiful" . It gets her smiling while she responds.

[@ybt595]

I'm going for dinner today with a girl from work and will tell her that I like her if it feels right at the moment. I am so scared can't describe the feeling because bc haven't really been into a relationship. Wish me luck. God bless you all!

[@txdang2009]

i have same situation, but can't do that since we have no work dating policy

[@jaymusk1]

how’d it go

[@davidsisson2026]

The low down is high quality women are rarer than the other type. And also a little harder to figure out I may have struck out recently with a high quality woman. But thanks to Courtney and other coaches I'm going to look at it as a lessen. I'm an older guy been married twice and been out of the game for a while. Thank you Courtney for your advice.

[@ericv5435]

*ask her out, the worst she can say is no* Her: 911

[@babacalouche]

so true...if rejection was not " that bad" then why girls don't do the first move ? why are they so reluctant to do it and despite all this " women empowerment" there is no sign of evolution on relationship between women and men when it's up to do the first move.

[@joaquinsantillan4130]

@@babacalouche because feminism isn't about make mens and womens equal is about have more privileges

[@enniswhalen2428]

@ b b c - Women like that double standard . . . .

[@zombieslayer7759]

more privileges, hating men, destroying the family unit.

[@zachmiller6941]

"If you were the trophy at the end of my race I'd run backwards"

[@flammarama]

Nice to see a positive perspective on dating. Making the first move can be rewarding.

[@ru.kiddingme]

When I tried making a first move that involved touching, women have always said "get away from me you creep," or "hands hands take your hands off me." So, I decided I will wait for the woman to make the first touching move, and have found it never happens. I will never know what was wrong with my approach b/c I was always respectful - brief light hugs and no kisses. However..... I discovered dance classes! Women like being led by the man through a dance, and never object to having their hands touched or being in body contact. There are almost always more women than men in dance class or dance event. The swing and latin dances are great, and worth the time, effort and money to learn. It has been a real confidence builder for me.

[@staydismantling9354]

“Hey could I kiss you” “Could I hold ur hand” or make it a bit more smooth like idk what’s wrong w my hand could u feel this part that hurts or whatever and then hold her hand. How difficult is that?

[@PaulKoumbarakos]

Thanks

[@JosueRealty]

If she rejects your kiss at first, don’t feel awkward or dejected just play it cool. It’s not unusual for the girl to come back around and kiss you later that night!

[@jerrangreenlee393]

Exactly! She either just wasn't in the mood to kiss at the moment or she was caught off guard and wasn't ready yet. But it is almost impossible to tell and you just have to wait for her to give you the signs that she wants you to kiss her or if she kisses you.

[@angrybellsprout]

Or just walk away because only a predator would try again later.

[@angrybellsprout]

@@tonybeerhockey you've never actually interacted with a girl have you? Most of my adult life has been walking away after getting told no, and then laughing at her get mad af because her no really meant yes.

[@simoneracioppa5733]

A rejection is a rejection, no matter what. You are basically harassing her if you try to kiss her again. That's why I always say that I'm done making the first move. If a F reject you, just throw her away. She had already a chance, and she ruined everything.

[@simoneracioppa5733]

@@angrybellsprout what? If someone says no to me, it's a NO. NO doesn't mean "yes". A rejection is always a rejection, rejection doesn't mean you are accepting someone.

[@1940ssinger]

i literally just watch these videos (after i stumbled on while deciding if after all these years my beard should come off..) as she is so calming to listen to talk 🤣im beyond help trying to find a woman anyhow.. so just like her dulcet tones ha ha

[@thegray5730]

I was out with a girl when she started putting on chap stick, I asked if I could try some and then kissed her. It took 3 days for the hand print to fade from my face.

[@simply11believelane47]

Lolll

[@LoneWolf-yg1mr]

You should’ve asked “does it taste as good as it smells?” 😂😂 I think you would’ve been GOLD there

[@shinobiendgame4939]

Good, *Stay away from my Sister.*

[@thegray5730]

@@shinobiendgame4939 Your Mom's still ok right?

[@enniswhalen2428]

@ b b c - The propaganda types do NOT want you to say that . . . .

[@jamesmata2945]

Girls make 1st moves now'a days? I didnt notice 😂

[@marcusbrown188]

I been asked out by 4 girls in high school but it was competition from the 2 pairs of girls

[@return0fthegupta390]

same here most women are too lazy to do that

[@hilde_the_bread]

As a girl, I used to make 1st moves, but I was too immature by then. Really I don't thinks it's a good idea to accept them.

[@bahaatamer1245]

I just learned that. Now I'm curious why it never happened to me :/

[@Ariovistus50]

@@marcusbrown188 Yeah, if you're really hot the'll make the effort.

[@KC-kp4vh]

You can avoid being rejected by noticing social cues such as her body language when you talk to her. If done right, you should definitely know whether she’s interested in you or not, without even asking anything. (25 and wow, my own advice is hard to keep in mind in practice!)

[@zachmiller6941]

Those cues feel the same as a rejection to me lmao

[@simoneracioppa5733]

You can avoid being rejected by not approaching her at all.

[@ArchibaldWasTaken]

I have this girl in a few of my college classes and the first time I saw her we locked eyes and she smiled at me so subconsciously I feel like she’s in to me. A week later I try to get to class a little early hoping she would too. Sure enough she goes towards the door not wanting to be the first one in, so I approach her and initiate small talk. I learn what she’s majoring in and where she’s from and these small leaps made me sleep at night. On the first exam day of this class, I got to class early again and sat down to do some last minute studying. Sure enough she sits down next to me and expresses her worry about the exam to me. I’m thinking “Okay, she could have just gone to class without taking the time to say all of that to me, maybe this means something?”. So in 2 days I will try to talk to her again and ask her to coffee or something using these tips. I noticed she’s the type of person to hurry out of class so hopefully she gives me a window to shoot my shot. Sorry for the venting these thoughts have just been in my mind and it’s nice to release them. Thanks Courtney! 😅

[@thewarrchitect4121]

Well man, what happened?

[@arielpacheco7726]

Why is no one talking about how Courtney has the most relaxing background music ?!

[@Sagefrakrobatik]

It kind of sounds like Nujabes

[@randallhubbard6342]

This girl really gives good advice really the best advice out there

[@MKF30]

Thats what I try to tell myself after being rejected thats its their lose even though it feels like mine. I was also born rejected, I was given up at birth for adoption it was predetermined then I found out I was the 3rd child they kept the first 2...so I take rejection more personally than most do. So now I just accept the single-life. It is what it is. Nice video though.

[@CourtneyRyan]

I’m sorry that happened and I totally understand why you feel that way but know that your past doesn’t define you. Some things are out of our control but it’s all in the way we respond and grow from it. There’s nothing wrong with being single but I hope you know how much you deserve to be loved! Rooting for you 😊

[@MKF30]

@@CourtneyRyan Thank you Courtney, appreciate that. 🙂Youre right, its just hard sometimes to forget you know? But yeah with a job or a girl I just tell myself that's ok wasn't meant to be. With corona throwing a huge monkey wrench into our lives it just makes ir more difficult but I will try to be positive. I enjoy your videos and youre so nice. People like you deserve to be happy.

[@MKF30]

@Akhil Thomas Thanks alot dude, appreciate that. God bless you. 😃

[@kboid5919]

That sucks man, I can only hope you found yourself better parents than those asholes that bring you to this world. If so, think about how much better your life is thanks to being raised by good people, and not those egoistic bastards who will probably raise you badly. Always look on the bright sides.

[@MKF30]

@@kboid5919 Thanks yeah man, appreciate it. I am pretty sure I was an accident lol. I am curious about my 2 older siblings(they must know about me) though I doubt they wonder about me as I do them. I was lucky to a point being adopted by loving italian americans, however I grew up an only child so between the being given up at birth thing, not having any siblings and seemingly always having bad luck with dating I've always felt kind of alone, this void I've tried to fill but I find the more I think about it, the more pissed I get so I don't and try to distract myself with other things like hobbies, friends(though they're all married so I try to dodge that "hey dude when are you going to get settled") topic...I just tell myself, you were born alone, you've survived alone and such" not to sound negative or pessimistic, it's just how I view life and I suppose when you have a history like mine you see the world differently than most people.

[@ClatoriXima]

This is the best dating advice I've literally ever got

[@bradc7767]

There's a difference between being confident and desperate. Learn that the best way to get along with a woman is to be able to get along without one. I'm 53 and at the point in my life that companionship is an option not a necessity. I've lived with a woman, fathered two sons, have a successful career as an Electrician. I've dated quite a bit since me and the ex divorced 12 years ago after an 18 year marriage. Met a lot of good women, some very interested in me but i just didn't have the same interests as them unfortunately. . Don't try the corny pickup lines. Be confident, honest and be yourself and the right woman will automatically show interest in you.. at least in my experience...

[@simoneracioppa5733]

Your experience doesn't matter. You don't understand nowadays how is the dating market and how difficult it is to get a F. So shut up and put yourself out there and see how many Fs you can get in few months: LESS THAN 1.

[@Abonike]

👍

[@RyanNoseBest]

Ive been using dating apps on and off for like, 2 years now, and I had a very late realisation last night that the reason I never get anywhere with any of these girls, is because I literally never ask them out - I'm always too timid and shy, so the conversation turns into a Q&A, then flatlines. Had a first message from a girl on Bumble this morning; 10/10 stunner, really genuine, wants the same thing as me, and within 10 messages I asked her out, and now we have a date on Saturday. Fingers crossed it goes well :D

[@autoclearanceuk7191]

What happened ?

[@RyanNoseBest]

Date went well, but things didnt work out with that particular girl - no bad blood, just not a good fit for eachother. It was really my first dating experience ever so i learned from my mistakes, of which there were a few lol... Ive done a lot of dating since though, still officially single but its not a race. Just taking my time finding someone whos a good fit :) @@autoclearanceuk7191

[@alexithymia6288]

For better or worse, I'm incredibly introverted, and it takes me a good bit of time to get comfortable enough with someone to even see sexual intimacy as an option. I'm sure some women will appreciate not having to worry about me being one of those guys that's creepy or pushy, but on the flip side I'm sure there are women who will be very turned off by having to wait a while to start exploring the more intimate things that occur in most relationships, sometimes even on/after the first date. That said, I'm all for cuddling and smaller forms of physical yet non-sexual affection after a couple of dates. I'm not sure whether that's part of my social anxiety, if that's just how I'm wired, or maybe because I've pretty much only had long distance relationships up to this point, but it's definitely something about me that is very hit-or-miss with women in my experience.

[@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return]

Your weird buddy

[@alexithymia6288]

@@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return You're*

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*Making the first move doesn’t have to be complicated - a simple, confident approach is often all it takes. Women appreciate it when someone is direct without being overbearing.*

[@omarlerouge5420]

Hi Courtney, great video. I've been listening to your material recently,. I live in France and not using English that much, so bear with me :) This particular video interested me a lot and reminded me an anecdote that happened 3 years ago (sorry if it's a bit long) : I was travelling to Rome with two good friends, one is a girl. On the way back to Paris we got to the bus after the unload of the plane in order to get to the customs area. I was standing next to a very lovely girl and I made some joke about some stuff (I can't remember actually, but I got her attention), after a little bit of chat, I learned that she was from Hungary and getting back to her job after a long italian trip.. so I continued engaging her to this small talk. I noticed that she didn't ask much question (I'm very good at noticing signs of disinterest) .. later, on the luggage zone, we met again and I asked her to keep and touch, which she politely refused, I wished her good luck on her starting job on that very Monday which start in few hours! later in the cab, my friend (the girl) said that I was too "pushy" with this girl and it was obvious she didn't want to engage in the conversation, which I replied that averge looking guys like me don't have this possibility to wait around, we just can't rely on the interest of the girl and that we must go for those signs, we must engage, push, because we can't rely on our look, we must rely on the humor and personality.. because some aspect (like a hobbie, or common thing..) might show up during the conversation (for example, I speak russian and japanese.. which is impossible to guess from outside) and get the girl interest growing. .. we couldn't agree with my friend, for her I was too pushy and guys shouldn't do this. what do you think ? I mean both point of views have solid arguments :) should an average (or a bit low) guy approach women, engage them in conversation anyway, hoping for the best or do you think he should wait for a slight interest sign .. which frankly won't happen for a guy in my situation, I live in Paris, I can count on the fingers of a single hand the number of times a random girl looked at me in the street (being average looking in #hypergamy era). thanks :)

[@tomasdeleondominguez7693]

I think one must be very observant on her body language including her voice tone and must be able to either escalate the approach or to get out quickly.

[@jaymurdoch6161]

Really hard to focus on what you’re saying when you’re so mesmerisingly beautiful you know!! I feel thoroughly hypnotised after watching this! 🙃🌹

[@gerardoa9179]

As my previous comment, first rule: She must be physically attracted to you, if not, next rules will not apply because she Will see you just like a friend.

[@cv97035]

Or not see you at all! :)

[@robertdeyoung350]

Totally agree. They say looks are not important, but let's be real here.

[@patrnogic.99]

Looks don't matter completly, they just give permision to approach with confidence, if you behave as if you were a handsome guy she will think there must be something about him, passive attraction

[@patrnogic.99]

Arousal is what gets girls

[@musejames93]

Being attractive just holds the window of opportunity open for longer. If you’re ugly an you open a girl with something stupid, she’ll blow you off. If you’re attractive and open a girl with something stupid, she’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But you’re looks will only serve you so far. You can’t keep fucking up.

[@RovilleX]

You can set-up some expectations for the kiss, like if you're not sure if you should or shouldn't go for it just tell her "If you keep looking at me like that I might have to kiss you later" and see her reaction. If she smiles go for it. If she doesn't, still go for it, but she will most probably reject the attempt. But be confident when you're saying it and when you're doing it.

[@matthewkriha4624]

The important take away on approaching a women is even if you get rejected, she will respect you because you had the confidence to go after what you want.

[@chicolofi]

Interesting point.

[@nathanlong4801]

What the hell does that get you? Her respect and 4 bucks will buy you a gas station sandwich.

[@kbtrades535]

Omg this women’s perspective is amazing. Tysm you are so wholesome

[@rincewindtwoflower3989]

"Hey baby... emmm... ahhh. I'm sorry bye" Works every time!

[@pranav288]

Been there done that

[@cuauhtemocmorisco3493]

The cringe🤣🤣🤣

[@SportsBoss999]

Its all about confidence. Since i dont have any, im shy and actually intimidated. I cant be something im not.

[@John-xd6qu]

That clip just physically harmed me 😂

[@CourtneyRyan]

If I have to suffer so do you!! 😂😂

[@curlywhites]

Admittedly, this is almost close to my first kiss at 16. I didn't ask, and I wasn't making a creepy smile like that. But the peck and uncomfortable hug was spot on. lol.

[@s4v4ge167]

I never thought I would be listening to a woman’s advice. My friends would usually tell “never listen to a females advice” This is very informative!

[@s4v4ge167]

@John Anderson you’re right!

[@RS-xo7rd]

The trouble is that constant rejection is wearing and confidence sapping.

[@dgwaters]

True that!

[@crowstylerrat2799]

Haha! "She's either really shy or she's not" Right, got it.

[@WudanMogul]

You give great advice, I literally binge watched like 3 or 4 of your videos. Never change Courtney... never change💙

[@melancholyparty]

I just got back from a second date. And she had told me “I feel like ive given you plenty of options too kiss me” and we kissed. Although I feel like I took an L on the first move I feel like im not wrong. I feel like there is usually a special moment where you both go for it. She said I could have just asked but these days im way too scared to make a first move on any women

[@DanoJose]

Omg, I was waiting for a video on this topic from you. For 6 weeks now. I almost lost hopes. Thank you immensely. I will study it. You are best. I consider your advice highly, as feel you score low on neuroticsim( the big five personality). There are not much people like you doing the same on KZbin.

[@db4419]

I was just about to ask for the TLC clip then I saw Courtney was way ahead of me. That's why you're the Best Courtney!😁

[@guidoberto7]

I love the way that you say "this can be a little tricky" on one or two advices, lol.

[@psongman9536]

Great video and intriguing. The only problem with some of these advice chats is, the girls that guys would really like to connect with are usually taken or on the prowl on their own. I mean, I had some really dyno girl friends and one wife, but I had to move so fast when they were available , that there was no time to do make some of the maneuvers you mention in most of your videos, so my input, be ready to move fast guys, be prepared!

[@FreddieBadBoy]

It just feels amazing to throw direct flirtatious energy at women who are cute as fuck. Whether they want me or not almost doesn’t matter. It makes me happy to let it out.

[@simoneracioppa5733]

I don't want to give them egoboost. Just ignore them until they get humbled.

[@ethio6301]

@@simoneracioppa5733 that’s a bullshit method. How bout you both equally put in the work.

[@Firesword534]

Great video once again. Above all get consent! Just because someone doesn't want to hug, kiss, whatever doesn't mean they're not interested, they just don't want that particular thing right then. So ask, "may I (hug, kiss, whatever)?" They say yes, sweet. If they say no and good follow on to that is, "then I'm glad I asked. I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable." And then you go on about your date.

[@G3ro_Oni_mo]

If a girl enjoys spending time with you and is receptive to going out with you, vibe with her and if you feel like you want to kiss her she probably feels the same way. Go for it

[@johndardi1334]

Girl “drops handkerchief” Me “excuse me I think you dropped this “ Girl “pulls out can of mace”

[@Smootus]

“You never know if you don’t ask....” was dating advice my dad gave me.....my mother told me women are like street cars, if the first one says no, there will be another one along in five minutes.

[@BustyGretchen]

Woa, I never got any advice from anyone, about anything really. I thought this was a parental thing, guess I was wrong.

[@kairotox]

I've had a LOT worse than just "no." ..."Ew, why would anyone date you?" or "Fuck no." Like, It's the look of disgust that hurts my soul. I know, those type of women, I don't want to date anyways, but, it still hurts man.

[@burnias3]

Just ask her out. Don’t waste any time. You have nothing to lose. Don’t ask her on a lunch date. You’re asking to get friend zone

[@alexist4223]

loool that's what I previously did

[@EnligUlv]

Been on a dating app for a few weeks; went on 6 dates in the last 9 days. Every initiation I’ve made was accepted. All high value ladies: doctor lawyer, construction superintendent, IT Director, stand up comedienne, and a flight attendant. I’ve got absolutely zero game; just what I am. Hadn’t been in a date since 1985 before I met my late wife of 37 years.

[@jbeast_131_6]

Can you make a video on how to approach someone in a public setting, “cold approaching”,and how a guy should go about it

[@martincolunga1889]

Ima use this when I make the first move to a girl thanks Courtney for the advice your a lifesaver keep doing what your doing we appreciate it 💯

[@SuperSlimshady1]

How did it go?

[@soronoc]

Courtney, male insight. Some men/boys have never seen the signs that you are talking about. It might be worth unpacking that. In my teens, I had no idea why women were so incredulous when guys or me "had a go". Truth, most women are very transparent when they are into you, and the first time that happens you will "get it". Most guys who struggle reading body language "cues", just aren't getting them, ever.

[@garmisra7841]

I agree, it's hard to look for cues that aren't there.

[@simoneracioppa5733]

Yeah, I've never seen those signs, BECAUSE THEY DON'T FCKING EXIST.

[@soronoc]

@@simoneracioppa5733 that seems a little extreme

[@enniswhalen2428]

@ C O'S - You might be really surprised at the "inexperience" that is out here.Perfectly rational ,well-adjusted, 'good' guys who had no HS dates ,no prom, gave their time to charitable causes, etc., and have nothing even "close" to your social understanding. These men will NEVER understand the "games " . . . .

[@jamarmoore5567]

It’s not more common. The woman always make the first move. The first move opens the line of communication for the man to speak first. The first move doesn’t mean speaking and we don’t know how to do this because we don’t know how to communicate verbally anymore. All social media. I’m old skool. Love your content though.

[@Pazuzu69420]

Hi Courtney, great video! I would like to give some of my thoughts on the middle advice of "you'll just know" and that insanely cringe video. By the time women are in their 20's (pre covid) they have been approached dozens if not hundreds of times by men and have lots of social experience so they are able to read cues really well. It might not register to all woman that a man simply cannot "just know" unless he is also very experienced. I believe a good way for beginners to build this kind of experience is to actually ask the question "Would you like to kiss me?" It doesn't have to be awkward and If she says; yes- kiss her, if she says no, - make a little joke such as "I didn't say you could, it just looked like you had something on your mind" and if she says maybe - "Well, let's find out" and kiss her. As a final note, DO NOT kiss her on the cheek then give an extremely timid hug and walk away hunched over with your hands clasped behind your back, that was ungodly cringe.

[@talhakazi9182]

To be honest I have groomed my mentality quite alot after subscribing to your channel

[@harrissonprins9206]

Damn Courtney putting that work in pumping out all these good videos💪🏼

[@CourtneyRyan]

👏🏼👏🏼 thank you!! ❤️

[@funnyjokesforall1]

I really like your vibes, so calm, you're doing great Courtney ! :)

[@harbar3000]

Me: "Let's get a coffee." Her: " I'm uncomfortable. Sexual Harassment." Me: "I will never do this again."

[@ghostridersinthesky21]

nah thats thinking it to the extreme, thats not likely to ever happen

[@TheGeorgeD13]

Richie Smith, Seriously. I’ve asked out a lot of women over the years. Never happened. Got no a few times sure, but a harassment charge? Never. That’s exceedingly rare to happen, even today. And no, it wasn’t my looks. I’ve been very fat and very fit, both got rejected and have been accepted as well at both stages of my life. It doesn’t matter as much as guys think it does.

[@ghostridersinthesky21]

@@TheGeorgeD13 exactly, ive asked out over 40 different women before covid and I had never gotten any threats or accusations of harassment. The key is to just not flirt with strangers and be respectful

[@TheGeorgeD13]

@@ghostridersinthesky21 You can flirt with strangers BUT with the caveat that you SHOULD NOT flirt right off the bat. Get to know the person and see if 1) they're single and 2) gives strong signs of being interested in you, then you may proceed to do some light flirting. Back off if its not received warmly though. People like to make simple shit complicated, so hence why you get these bitter ass dudes in this comments section lol.

[@ghostridersinthesky21]

@@TheGeorgeD13 Yeah maybe theyre over thinking it. I personally wouldn’t go any further than telling a woman that she has pretty eyes or hair. At most, I might tell her that shes cute if things are going well

[@KleinmeisterPang]

The problem why many men do not make the "first move" anymore is that so many women are so mean towards guys,... however your videos are great - keep going

[@Lordran__]

For pretty much the first time in my 33 years, I stepped out of my comfort zone & made the first move to talk to a random girl at the gym some months ago. She happened to have a PlayStation T-shirt on which really caught my attention (she told me she’s actually not a gamer). Her eyes lit up when I spoke to her & we couldn’t stop smiling. The eye contact was very strong & her smile was absolutely perfect. I sensed a major spark of attraction & it felt like I had known her for a while. So there was mutual attraction & I had that working in my favor. I got her number on the spot. We did a little bit of grocery shopping after we got done at the gym & she was down for me to walk her home just a block away. Gave her a hug & she told me to text her when I got home. Sweet! Everything started off perfectly that night so I was cautiously optimistic. It just all seemed to good to be true. The next day, we texted for a bit (I learned her mom passed away in the Summer) & at one point, she enthusiastically scheduled plans for us the next day. So we ended up hanging out for about 3 hours. She was so sweet & wonderful, i.e. didn’t want me to be cold, held a door open for me, paid for my drink. Now at one point, after I had told her a bit about myself & after she commented on how nice the night sky looked, I put my arm around her & she asked if we could be friends. To say I was confused & bummed out is an understatement. I thought she liked me!! This soured my mood & I barely remember most of what she told me, most of which was about her issues. She really opened up to me. After I walked her home, again she told me to text her when I got back to my place. The following day I received this: “Hey Luis I think you are a really cool person. But I’m really scared I’m gonna fall for you and I just can’t handle a close relationship right now. Please know it’s not about anything about you or something like that. You didn’t do or say anything wrong. You are pretty perfect. I just am really fragile and I need to take care of myself and I am afraid to get close to anyone. I’m going to distance myself. Please try to understand where I am coming from and don’t take it personally 💕” In another text, she said: “Hey Luis I felt like you were perfect on the day we went out. You didn’t do or say anything wrong or anything I didn’t like. You were great. I’m distancing myself not cause of you, but because I am not in a good place right now in my life. And I know that this is not the right season for me to be dating anyone. I can’t gamble with how I am doing emotionally, if I date someone and it falls apart that could be really dangerous for me mentally and emotionally since I am already struggling and going through a lot. That’s where I am coming from. It’s not about how I felt about you. I hope you believe me because it’s true.” Now about a month later, I asked her if she’d be willing to meet up or at the very least talk over the phone to discuss a few things & that I’d respect her decision either way. To that, she said this: “Hey Luis I am only replying late cause I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m messed up and I wanna keep my distance. There’s nothing wrong with you and this is not about you I promise 💗 I didn’t want to just say nothing at all and make you feel weird for no reason.” This was her final text to me. Over a month later, we happened to be crossing the same street at the same time. I said hi to her & she ignored me. It felt very cold & weird. I had to know why, so I texted her to find out but I never got a response. I’ve seen her several times since but I’ve left her alone. Some people think she has a fear of intimacy/avoidant attachment style. I’ve also only seen her at the gym just a few times since all this happened some months ago. It’s as if she’s trying her best to avoid me. On one hand, I feel she may have been telling me the truth. On the other, I feel she came up with those very elaborate lies to avoid hurting my feelings but at the same time, everything she said seemed too genuine to be a lie. Either she was telling me the truth or she was just rejecting me but in a “polite way”, essentially letting me know ahead of time that she’s gonna ghost me. She’s probably just really good at lying. Whatever the case may be, this has been the most confusing experience I’ve ever had with another person & unfortunately I have not been able to get over her. I’ve been really depressed about it. The girl left such a lasting impression on my soul to say the least. I wish I wasn’t so attracted to her. She’s 5’9”, has a very feminine walk & perfect smile. This entire ordeal has really deflated me & makes me not even want to go out of my comfort zone again to talk to any other girls.

[@tigre7951]

Another fallen brother. You can do it again brother. She was just not the one. The day you stop trying is the day you lost..

[@emyf9197]

I just think she's emotionally not ready or like she said, she's scared to get close and then later get heart broken. Sounds like she spirals on the "what if's" Thoughts. At least she gave an explanation to u. I just don't think she should've lead u on so much n should been direct that she's in need of a friend

[@pianoslayer2516]

Lol. She's bullshitting you, dude. Believe me. The first time you hear it, it seems so genuine that you think it's believable. It isn't. She's getting railed by Chad, no doubt. Don't worry, she's not worried about that with him. It's just you. Learn pickup and don't believe nonsense like this chick tried to sell you.

[@at4371]

I suggest to move on , even if she come back ! You don’t afford the emotional cost, if she do it again ! And she will do it again , because she was able and goes with it. Take care don’t welcome her

[@toastyfellow1]

Very similar thing happened to me. Met a girl outside the gym. (Seen her there a handful of times) we chatted for a couple minutes and got her insta. Also asked if she wanted to get food sometime. She said yes. I followed her on insta and have messaged her a couple times but never engaged in convo, and left me on read multiple times. I now see she wasn't interested from the start. I'm sure she may have a lot going on or she simply was being polite. But alas, I must move on and try again somewhere else. There's hope for us. Don't give up!

[@landobester3568]

Thank you for this video Courtney! Much appreciated💫

[@apiFerrari]

" The worst thing she can say is no. " 😀 she can call police she can accuse you from harassment etc... when i was younger, my friends (and me) were joking about this. now it is a reality 😞

[@OliverKane3582]

Dang dude you must have really poor game

[@jasongibson8870]

I often will let her pick a place for the first meet, and I do so saying I want her to be comfortable and feeling safe meeting some random. Don't know if that is appreciated or seen as unwilling to pick but I do it.

[@collegegymgains1012]

Also, rejection doesn't necessarily mean that the girl dislikes you as a person. You just might not be her type, and that's okay.

[@iboskillz8434]

Girls like you or others , never talk about “break up” fak it fak that moment after spending huge effort, time on her and following all these steps and even much more ,That mind couldn’t believe! They just forgot everything and break up easily. My inner heart in broken since 7 days .I missed u and I love you Meaad💔

[@BodyTrust]

The kiss: If you want a kiss from her, sweetly tell her to kiss you. If she refuses, or kisses you on the cheek, smile and move on. Verbal interaction cuts through all the baloney.

[@Fielion]

"We all love when someone is interessted in us?" whenever i show a women that i like he she starts avoiding me, becoming unfriendly towards me. That hurts especially when she had been friendly towards me to begin with. And i never understand why that happens. First she is friendly, i start to like her, she starts becoming unfriendly to me.

[@arefghadimkhani5137]

Finally!!! I've been waiting a long time for this topic.thanks courtney every thing you say really works!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Hope it helps! ❤️❤️