How to Manipulate the Narcissist

[@cocofoster5505]

This guy gives the best clinical understanding of narcissists. It is so complex for someone so new to experiencing the horror of this pathology. What concerns me is how the subject consumes you once your eyes are open to its existence in your life. It is trying to make sense of the madness that has been like a hurricane of evil personified.

[@eladoaa]

You are 100% right

[@TaraDaylami]

It’s all consuming for a time. It’s a reality bending experience in the most horrific way. It will get better. Even though that’s impossible to believe when deep in the pit of hell. Loads of self compassion, courage + wisdom are the ingredients.

[@gemigames154]

You're never the same again but definitely in a good way. The first two years after no contact is just as much as a hell as the previous two years, just in a different way. You spend all this time trying to please them as they make you think it's always your fault and then that vanishes the instant you go no contact and it's like a giant chasm that needs filling with self love. It's quite a trip! To anyone out there, let your full emotions out in private if you wish. Cry, scream, punch pillows, drain it all out and in time things WILL get better. If my dumbass can do it, anyone can! Also, while what they do to us is criminal and downright horrifically chilling. They shape us into better people because they reveal a truth about reality that's too big to ignore. The reality that yes, truly evil, irredeemable, extremely covert people do exist and we need to minimise their danger and ignore them as much as is possible. We don't need them once you understand these types but they absolutely need our supply.

[@kathleencampbe3ll70]

@@TaraDaylami I would ad 'loads of educating yourself on NPD' to that list as well. Another key to healing is fully accepting that the person you love so much has a personality disorder and there's no chance of fixing them. If you can't accept that fact, you'll never heal. Through education, it makes it easier to accept that's it's THEM, not you... 👍

[@TaraDaylami]

@@kathleencampbe3ll70 yes 100% I think accepting that they will not change is super important. But I have seen people overdose on NPD information as well. Sometimes it keeps people stuck. Just my clinical + personal experience. 🙏🏽❤️

[@Ambergris24]

After many years of "wondering" what was "wrong" with someone , its finally nice to have answers. Also sad to realize I can't help this person, and he will never change because he isn't capable . Narcs get worse with age . The lies and manipulation are unbelievable. They can be so nice to your face, especially if they think you are going to leave. But so angry if confronted by the least little petty conflict, they have pure hate against you and you don't even realize it sometimes for years. They don't really love anyone because they don't even love themselves. Often times they are incapable of loving their own children sad but true. The attention they seek in the form of pity is exhausting. They pretend to care about you to other people but they always tell lies about you to other people to "justify " their actions. They play the role of victim so people feel sorry for them and they the Narc are just these kind caring people trying to help you with your problems that don't even exist.

[@napoleonsparis2058]

Ideal summary of the Narc Playbook. Succinct. Oh so true. What a world!

[@ivyjahcares2665]

True that describes a narc ....

[@spriya7]

Exactly

[@Ilovetobealone089]

So true

[@samuelgoodman2825]

Nailed it,at least from my personal experience as well.

[@EasternPearl]

I am survivor from Narcissist and the chapter of Narcissism manipulation closed, the best way to survive from Narcissist is leaving them, let they live and finish their delusional life by being a Narc because that's their destiny.

[@samvaknin]

+EasternPearl 2015 Right! NO CONTACT: kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3apfGR5aJucpdU

[@EasternPearl]

+Sam Vaknin your words are great 👍, on behalf of all narcissistic survivors and victims AND Potential victims I would appreciate for all your wonderful job which are great resources related to Narc.

[@EasternPearl]

***** Narc attacks us coz we are emotional and kind, just get out and leave them as they are, they were born and suffered from mental disabled so we couldn't treat disabled people that way.

[@rainandfog4322]

Well put and agreed.

[@michellestaunton2264]

EasternPearl 2015 me to ,just get way and enjoy your life

[@wordswordswords.5422]

The best way to manipulate a narcissist is to leave them behind and focus on your own life. Because there is nothing to gain from having any kind of relationship with a narcissist.

[@thorazine0076]

Abolutely true

[@carolineharbour1673]

The positive outcome of dealing with a narsist Is that you get too question yourself at the end and reflect on your inner wounds and how too heal yourself and put yourself first Best advice is understand the condition Recognise them early on Don't give them a inch And learn how too Keep them far far away from you Then focus on rebuilding your life By getting loads of hobbies Educating yourself with skills Swimming the gym anything that makes you feel good And enjoying your life too the full And never make the same mistake again Sam's doing a great job with the videos and nobody understands it or relays the information as well as he does Thank you Sam

[@luiscaceres-qk4yk]

You are absolutely right that’s the only way to get ahead in life by creating your own life without being disturbed by this type of people or only letting them in once in a while without them fully controlling your life

[@lme6482]

The second best way to deal w/ a narcissist is to show that you don't care. It drives them crazy when you show them that you don't care about their feelings. The best way? Is to not be around one period lol

[@thearcadegamer8128]

Also murder

[@sunkissedheart347]

@@thearcadegamer8128 LOL Amen🙏

[@moirabijker7117]

I do this to the best of my ability. Minimize contact as much as possible. Unfortunately I can't go no contact with the ex-husband Narc as we have shared custody of our children. It's a daily struggle to survive these severely disturbed people's abuse and constant crossing of boundaries. May God give me the strength to continue taking care of myself first so that I can be a good mother to my children.

[@francescosoprano1644]

I guess the advice is sound. Thing is, it’s impossible to show them you don’t care when you do care. And when you finally stop caring, then they don’t mean nothing to you and you don’t want to show them nothing at all. So it’s one of those advices that only work when they’re not useful anymore.

[@arwenrosalie3031]

True and then they start their discarding period with you.

[@cryptkeeper7175]

For almost two decades I gave my ex narc all the love and support and admiration I could give; it was never enough... He is a very violent man filled with rage and jealousy, it became to dangerous for myself and my children so we left..

[@HandSolitude]

Well done, I tried to get my mum to leave when I was 7. I found my sister tried the same thing. My mum threw us under the bus, because her only understanding of the world was one of abuse.

[@michellestaunton2264]

Kerry Jayne well done! Enjoy your kids and your life

[@GodsChildrenOnEarth]

Same here. I can't believe I gave 18 years if my life and sacrificed everything. The parasitic violent narcissist took my physical possessions, but he will never take my heart and spirit and happiness. He is so lazy, and his narcissist mother tells him she will support him. But what the narcissist doesn't REAL is that his own mother is playing him and hurting him. I just sit and watch as two narcissists ruin each other (though they believe they are ruining me)...little do they know that I don't care for wordly possessions--as my Heavenly Father will give me double of what I had. I am just watching him ruin his own life...and the sh!t hasn't even hit the fan!

[@GodsChildrenOnEarth]

Same here. I can't believe I gave 18 years if my life and sacrificed everything. The parasitic violent narcissist took my physical possessions, but he will never take my heart and spirit and happiness. He is so lazy, and his narcissist mother tells him she will support him. But what the narcissist doesn't REAL is that his own mother is playing him and hurting him. I just sit and watch as two narcissists ruin each other (though they believe they are ruining me)...little do they know that I don't care for wordly possessions--as my Heavenly Father will give me double of what I had. I am just watching him ruin his own life...and the sh!t hasn't even hit the fan!

[@charlesholland1895]

Kerry Jayne You are a selfish bitch for putting your children through that bull shit.

[@xpehbam33]

Very good points. But remember a narcissist uses people. THEY do not care about you or others. They are remorseless and empty inside. They are empty walking shells that devour matter like black holes to fill their endless void inside. Best advice is to stay away. Remembering my narcissist makes me feel empty.

[@Mario_N64]

Or use them, too, if the need arises. They are amazingly gullible.

[@samvaknin]

No contact kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3apfGR5aJucpdU

[@samvaknin]

Gullible narcissist kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHXUp4Fnr8Z7l9E

[@stellaomoh4155]

Sam Vaknin

[@anniewilliams9317]

Stasik C. They are truly demons and there are a lot of them out there they do not have conscience

[@annemeade5836]

True story. As I read the introduction to your book, the voice of the narcissist, and found myself violently weeping and terrified, uncontrollably shaking in horror. The monster was there in the room, unmasked and on the page! And then suddenly I was saved, suddenly not alone. Your book held the truth I had been unable to define for years. The clarity and perspective I gained from your book and later videos saved my sanity and probably my life and those of my children. Did it all work out? I fought for but lost my home, my family business/income, my security and much of my community but I have my kids safely away. I am alive and 4 years later finally happy and healing. I am not crazy. I am grateful. Thank you forever.

[@RainettaJones]

I have encountered these two legged he/she devils in real life. I have no words for these bipedal creatures masquerading as humans. They are better left alone or rocketed to another planet.

[@melanier7309]

I agree.

[@RainettaJones]

yup

[@RainettaJones]

Not sure but in my research there seems to be many who encountered these types of people and their abuse.

[@RainettaJones]

True

[@Letters7]

Presence

[@kr1221E]

There is only one way to deal with a narcissist and that is to get away from them.

[@samvaknin]

+Fobile Moan Seriously? This is such an ORIGINAL thought! Watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3apfGR5aJucpdU

[@samvaknin]

Narcissist's Victim: NO CONTACT Rules kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3apfGR5aJucpdU

[@kr1221E]

i could never see myself 'deterring a predatory narc soi avoid them. theyre stubborn and the more you try to change them the more they dig thier heels in and if you try to be as nasty as them, you're lowering your own standards.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

Or kill them.

[@DollGirlie]

@@20ASilva I have a fantasy that someone will do this for me. Dispose of the vile creature that harmed me viciously. But I have no one that would do this for me. And I am sad about that.

[@massimobozzi1]

The only solution is to get away from them!

[@samvaknin]

+Massimo Bozzi Absolutely kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3apfGR5aJucpdU

[@always-stay-positive5187]

+Massimo Bozzi If the narcissist is your brother or sister, or even parent, you cannot get away from them. Unless you get away from the whole family. In fact I am not certain that your narcissist can even measure up to the narcissists that I have around me (three of them in total).

[@always-stay-positive5187]

+AllGuts NoGlory I wish to stay away from my narcissists, but they would always telephone after a while to feed their drama.

[@always-stay-positive5187]

AllGuts NoGlory Exactly the same happen to me. It is really unfortunate to be surrounded by such arrogant bullies who claim to know everything, who assume great strength, vigour, intelligence, compassion, humility, importance, etc., and assume that they are higher in "good qualities" than others. Always trying to humiliate me. Please avoid facebook because it is full of narcissists. You would be bullied if you go to facebook, because it is a narcissists playground.

[@always-stay-positive5187]

AllGuts NoGlory Narcissists are fuelled with adrenaline they enjoy from being admired. I remember when I was a teenager and always wanted to be noticed. This is how they are even as grown-ups above 40 years old. They are the ones who want all the fame and success, who would travel abroad on every holiday so as to have a story to tell after the holiday. They always see what you do as inferior, and do not appreciate your success and efforts. They would keep one victim (you) as their source of the supply, so they cam be-little you at every opportunity and feel better out of it. My younger brother has all ten traits of a narcissist to the extreme. Whenever his wife is present he uses me to prove to her that she is more "macho" and "intelligent", for instance advising me and puts me down at every opportunity, controlling the situation, etc. Narcissists would play all the tricks to appear superior at their victim's expense. I really wonder whether one day the wife will discover that he is a narcissist, though both of them seriously are. My mother was a huge narcissist and I do not even like what she did with her innocent first son by not even showing him any motherhood. Yet my younger brother supports this because of his possessiveness. It is really not fair. I think people always discover too late when they have been burnt out, like what happened to me: the damage would already have been done to you. I wish I had taken my stance earlier. I think you should move to another state and do not even attend birthdays and do not even phone them during Christmas.

[@TheeCuteness]

"Narcissists attract abuse" How true that is. About three months into our marriage I decided my husband was literally crazy. I realized that when I calmly asked him to do something he would rebel and start an argument. But if I berated him, called him lazy and suggested that he was wasteful of his time he would jump right up and do exactly what I wanted him to do. I tried to get him to pay attention to this aberrant behavior and he would FREAK OUT and tell me that I was the crazy one...smh.

[@ErNomadLife]

I agree .I'm in ur position now..what did u do next ? He makes me look like I'm the stupid one when it's actually him..

[@candieee]

@ErNomadLife Instead of being sad and upset, find your anger and fight back. It’s there to protect you. Give it right back to him. Criticize him. Tell him he’s a Stupid one. Point out every flaw and imperfection in him every single time he attacks you. Narcissist are bullies, but they don’t bully people who don’t take their shit. Tell him off call him stupid and then ignore him the rest of the day and go out and do something Fun without him. Come back and ask him what he’s done all day and what he’s done with himself, and then continue to ignore him. Reverse the roles. Narcissists can always dish it,but they can never take it. they have no egos. The people around them create their egos based off of feedback. You might not gain his respect, but at least he will leave you alone because it won’t be worth it. Lol.

[@TheeCuteness]

@@candieee That's alot for someone already dealing with narc abuse. I tried couples therapy for about 3 months, and then I went on to do individual therapy. During individual therapy I decided that I could do nothing about who he was and my only option was to save myself and get out of the marriage. I have and had no desire to become exactly like the person who was abusing me. That's their game. As long as they can get you to act like them then they are always the victim.... And he wins.

[@candieee]

@@TheeCuteness well, if you can get out, and get away,that is your best option, but if you can’t, being a sitting duck won’t help you. So you can get bullied or you can defend yourself by not taking the bait and handing it right back.

[@zakithiganyaza5525]

@@candieee I like your advice it make me crack so hard

[@ricadaripa4388]

The narcissist often induces his abuse by his partner/family and then enjoyes it, playing the martyr to third persons to get narcissistic supply.

[@binkinbelle]

My mother and father, their sick dynamic

[@markmartens]

"Yes, even abuse, is wasted on the Narcissist." Classic!

[@EyeLean5280]

I'm sure these manipulation techniques are effective, but basing a relationship on them strikes me as a lot of work for an ultimately very bleak existence.

[@Mario_N64]

It can be fun, though. And useful, or profitable. Sooner or later you will come in contact with one. They're everywhere. Better be prepared.

[@Mario_N64]

+Cymbeline Britain That is a very good point. In a sense, they are like the cyborg in the Terminator films, scanning and looking for targets. They can even have some traits that seem "robotic", like boasting "I'm a machine", or wondering out loud why we human beings have to eat in order to stay alive. Tasks like preparing meals are of course, beneath them, and considered a nuisance.

[@samvaknin]

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013

[@samvaknin]

The Narcissist as VAMPIRE or MACHINE groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4944

[@jivngirl1]

unless, you are forced to deal with someone like that, by family or having children together

[@Kirra713]

Everytime he contacted me on Facebook even picture liking,I contacted his probation officer. He blocked me on Facebook. I feel peaceful finally.

[@quicksilver3x3]

The only time my most recent narc "loved" me and asked me to give him another chance was when I no longer wanted him; when I wanted him he openly despised me for it...that's the emotional torture they enjoy. Looking for actual love from a narc is an exercise in madness. Problem is, I didn't recognize him as a narcissist until it was too late. Of course he was a victim of childhood abuse and has several chronic addictions, even attempted suicide, again, recently. I never thought to abuse him in return for his abuses against me, I actually cared for him. Education is great, but doesn't always lead to knowledge when infatuation kicks in. Maybe I needed this experience...one more hard kick to bring the lessons home. Maybe these narcs keep us reliving our being rejected by mother or father in the hope of solving it. But it fails every time.

[@quicksilver3x3]

Shasha8674 Wise thoughts there, and "abandon you many times"...so painfully true. I understand, narcs are also replaying their traumatic childhoods, running away from love because love was ruined for them; it represents trauma/confusion/shame. Also, narcissists who attempt suicide usually do it several times, never "succeeding"...they so need the attention and after-care.

[@quicksilver3x3]

Shasha8674 Sad indeed. My narc had a diet of meat, milk, cheese, eggs, white flour, sugar, and alcohol & drugs (prescription and otherwise), so I don't know if he had celiac's or not. He had some serious health problems though. I'm vegan, animal-lover and a health nut, but couldn't help him since he didn't accept my help. I can so relate to your "Loves me one time and hates me the next time." Emotional roller-coaster in Hell. Mine is gone far away in another state since last winter; hopefully he stays, stops trying to kill himself, gets healthy, and settles down with someone strong & good who can deal with him. Good luck in dealing with yours...or in releasing him and moving on. I only hope I've finally learned how to avoid going through this again.

[@quicksilver3x3]

Ó Slatraigh So true, thank you. I'm not into hurting people at all, of course, but that doesn't matter in this situation. Narcissists and other damaged people expect betrayal from everyone, since their own parent(s) betrayed them and hurt them deeply. Parents must rise above their own damage and stop damaging their children.

[@quicksilver3x3]

Ó Slatraigh Exactly.

[@quicksilver3x3]

AllGuts NoGlory But they make you feel like NOTHING, less than nothing, by their great skill at putting you down, while claiming to treat you great. I think they have "lives," just that they don't feel they have any goodness in them, so they want to feed on (and shit on) the supposed goodness in others. This is at the same time as they're proclaiming their awesomeness, so it's all contradictory and confusing. I'm trying to not be a N magnet anymore. All I ever wanted was love/kindness/loyalty...too much to ask. Thanks for your thoughts.

[@arlenekadrich9045]

This seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for someone who can never truly love you. But then, if you are willing to do such things, then you are probably a product of a pretty screwed up childhood yourself.

[@limitlessinfinite2284]

Truth!

[@MyNameIsAhalya]

True. I dealt with one for 2 yrs. I don't have that kind of energy. I would rather stay single & enjoy life.

[@juliedowdy2154]

I finally drew a line in the sand about something with my ex simply because I knew he'd hate it. Anything remotely near compromise he felt was a power issue, that I was trying to take control or ruin his life or emasculate him. So I said I wouldn't see him until he made this one thing right. It infuriated him and I got three weeks of the silent treatment punishment. Every time he tried to get around my ultimatum, I reminded him he still hadn't done it. Haven't seen him in seven months. At least he's gone.

[@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULAR]

Julie Dowdy girrrll ... please tell me what the thing was.

[@FluorescentRebel]

I currently have an ultimatum in place. Wish me luck.

[@sasgulloni]

@@FluorescentRebel Sorry for saying this to you but... not going to happen. He's not even thinking about it. And that's what you should start doing. Please, please, run away while you can. I am not saying this just because, I had the same hope, believing deep in my heart that she would dio the right thing. And I'm not talking about coming back together, as a couple... everything I wanted? Just hear she asking apologies. That would be so important to me, that is enough for me to believe that our kid, family, relationship, our Story meant something, that at least something was real.

[@sasgulloni]

Well the closest thing I got was: "I'm sorry for not saying sorry." . And that only came after wake up with cops in my house, pointing a gun to me and see she screameing and crying, saying to the police I hit her, and said that I was going to kill her. All that looking at my eyes like she met me yestersay. Cost me my house, image , my kid, health, mental and physical to realize I was in a false relationship where the only one fighting for, was me. WALK AWAY. I'm ok now, but you are in time and can avoid the terrible pain you re going to suffer.

[@sasgulloni]

FUN FACTi; you can look at medical records, university memos, , psychology books, everywhere :IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND, NO SIGNAL OR RECORD OR A SINGLE WORD ABOUT A NARCISSIST WHO HAS BEEN CURED EXIST. NOTHING. So if anyone needs more than that to walk away....t

[@joygill7050]

My narcissistic family member hates me because I won't hesitate to tell him off lol.Sadly, I am the only family member who can see him for what he truly is.

[@andreacenteno6563]

same. I'm the only who knew what my mother is. Still trying to convince and make my father realize that his wife is a narcissist. It is hard. Really hard. But I know this will be worth it in the end. Wish me luck! ps. I am 16 years old female

[@fromunderthekilt6310]

@@andreacenteno6563 Hope things are going better for you today. Any update?

[@Beautyargentina6]

They don’t wanna see. They look away and don’t see anything. It’s really that simple.

[@travisbolton6942]

You can control a narc by telling them that you are writing a book about them. Then don't

[@carolyncampbell8001]

Psy0psAgent is

[@super.surabhi]

sadly I did write a book on him

[@Spiritcrown]

Thats a good idea. Actually in my opinion it is very easy to hurt a Narcissist, they just try not to show any of the hurt but they are. A huge ego has also a huge fall. Even telling a narc that he only looks average or saying to him that he has average skills in something will make him go into a rage. Any mean word weights for them 3 times more than to us imo. Its simply that they try to act cool and tough. They have a lot of emotions for themselfes though and though we may want to search revenge, the best advice stays.. simply leave them.

[@jimbo9354]

Travis Bolton that's genius

[@noomiblumquist2450]

Haha i thought about that tonight

[@philu4621]

The worst thing is being raised by a narcissist and having the whole narcissistic paradigm and behavior rubbed off onto you as if it's normal. I am this way and I hate it. It is a sad reality. All I wanted since I was a child was love, care, and healthy people in my life. Trying to change, but it's hard...I would have killed myself already if it wasn't wrong or wouldn't hurt anyone. I never asked to be infected with this shit but sadly, as an adult, it's now my responsibility to clean up the mess inside me that was put there by someone else. Hardest thing to accept, life truly, TRULY is not fair.

[@philu4621]

@@Wes-Tyler what is what like?

[@philu4621]

@@SA-px3ln omg I know...the mental twistedness they cause, affecting the heart and body eventually. It's no joke.

[@philu4621]

@@SA-px3ln its a demonic force no doubt.

[@philu4621]

@@SA-px3ln I spent 2 years collecting info and reading it everyday. Strict self care routine, strict eating healthy. The more you understand the more you overcome it...say your prayers too.

[@philu4621]

@@SA-px3ln study jezebel/narcissist get s spiritual understanding of what you're dealing with.

[@BBNicks]

Why bother? Just walk a way.

[@insect2696]

My mother

[@michaels99tabletclouatre37]

Sometimes people cannot just walk away,,, it would be great if we could. But unfortunately not always the case.

[@karenbonnici6204]

Not worth the time. Manipulate the narcissist to live a pretend and empty life.

[@christinemiller6566]

I constantly receive the silent treatment, I go on about with my life, he's so immature.

[@gregbartmess3538]

Sam, this reminds me of the old Aesop's tale about the crow and the fox. The crow is sitting on a branch and he has a piece of cheese in his beak. A fox comes upon the scene and sees this, and begins to hatch a plan to get the cheese for himself. So, he begins to praise the crow for the beauty of his deep black glossy feathers and the regal nature of his presence. Then the fox says to the crow, "I would bet that you have a beautiful singing voice, and it would be wonderful to hear it!". The crow, completely taken in by the praise and admiration, clears his throat and open his mouth with a loud "CAW!!!" and presently the cheese drops from his mouth. The clever fox (naturally) grabs the cheese and runs away to enjoy his cheese!

[@samvaknin]

+Greg Bartmess Flattery will get you anywhere and anything with a narcissist.

[@correaplayz01nunya93]

To collude in a shared psychosis with him- I think that sums up my whole relationship

[@KirstenWagenaar]

This makes me aware of the behaviour I developed with my narcissist. I think I figured out after about a year where his weakspots were. I could always come back, he was never really able to say no. I got what I needed (being a codependent) and he got what he needed (his supply). We kept eachother hostage. And the funny thing is indeed that I grew. I experienced, I learned and I developed myself. But he suffered, gained weight, got very bad skin tone (turned yellow-ish), and had continuously high levels of stress. I noticed the worse narcissist behaviour diminishing but I also noticed the stress, angryness and helplessness grow.

[@pathofclouds85]

I'm in the exact same situation. Were you able to get away? I think we are both addicted to each other

[@OrdinaryJoe12]

Sounds like good times you guys had

[@blackreazor]

Mine found himself bending himself backwards for me. Doing all the things he never did for anyone before. He would get so bitter about it to. Remind me he would never before be likenthat with anyone. De developed anxiety. Lost weight. He even would cry when i tried to leave and I coudk see that the only time those tears were kinda close to be sincere. He would be so mad that he would be conflicted for me and he would resent me for it. And he would tell me. He would say he always was a costumed to be in control at all times but not with me. That he allowed me to take too much control. But yes I was able to take some leverage

[@FDArtistry]

this is valuable information because everyone cannot leave the narc instantly. sometimes you have to play a role until the next pay day, until the house sells, until you find a new job, until you move, etc.

[@Mario_N64]

One way of manipulation is saying you're keeping a written record of EVERYTHING, and it's kept in a safe place, it might once surface "should anything happen". It's also kept digitally, in "the cloud". This terrifies them, as they actually think they're as important as a head of state or something.

[@Mario_N64]

+Cymbeline Britain Very good points, and I can sense that you've been through a lot of bad stuff. They are stunted children, a small child that never grew up due to incredible amounts of abuse and neglect. Their shriveled, malformed, "True Self" barely exists. I can occasionally see it in the form of an awkward smile and a clumsy attempt at a hug on birthdays or holidays. That's as good as it gets. There is no hope for a happy ending. Once that becomes evident, you start to protect yourself, and on occasion, turn the tables on the narcissist, not to make him aware, just for self-preservation. But trust me on this one: They KNOW "something" is wrong or "off" with them. Deep down they have some primitive notion of that, and they work incessantly on keeping up the façade. You have to set some really good boundaries. They actually grudgingly have some kind of respect for those who keep them in check, and they might even become sort of dependent on them. I think that's part of the point Sam is making in this video. I wish you the best, and hope things have improved.

[@samvaknin]

The Narcissist as Eternal Child samvak.tripod.com/journal92.html

[@Mario_N64]

You are right, there is nothing to gain. It's more about coping and survival strategies. Our own issues might have set ourselves up as victims, or dependents. If there is something to gain, it might be insight and awareness of our problems, to either set strong boundaries, or walk away. A friend who is an architect entered a business relationship with a full-blown narcissist. this guy returned burgers at a Carl's Jr., as they were "not up to his standards" that's how bad it was. He was driving the architect crazy with unreasonable demands and micromanagement. I advised him to just drop him, run away, there is nothing to gain from this. He feared litigation or bad-mouthing. I told him: "He will bad-mouth you anyway, don't be afraid of litigation, that takes effort and work, things a narcissist loathes, nothing will happen". He dropped the project abruptly, and nothing happened. The house remains unfinished. As you said, walking away is ultimately the best option. Good luck.

[@judithprins7132]

head of state that is so funny

[@fluxpistol3608]

That's how I got rid of mine.

[@User24-g7]

I think if you do all these things, you will actually become the "narcissist". Just get away from them!

[@kkibela]

'He fights like they do' (observing neo fighting an agent in the matrix)

[@anneillerbrun6860]

Isn't that exactly what this society has devolved into. But you're right Sam Vaknin, it's the only way to GET ALONG with a narcissist and that seems to be how they all get along with each other. Balanced people dream of being surrounded with people with healthy brain function and after going through the narcissist tunnel at least we clearly know what that means.

[@theothersideoftherainbow4547]

just so spot on. horrible people and the wreckage they leave behind.

[@Angus1966]

Narcissists are individuals and differ , they are no less likely to be ripped , on the contrary , they usually surround themselves with superficial friends, people offer narcissistic supply to them.The Narcissist has no problem with being a thief or con artist. Trying to manipulate them will lead to strife , never worry about leaving one they are usually fast at making new friends..

[@ruthchinenye8700]

But not good at keeping them.

[@untakenUserName420]

What a perfect last line to the video... “Even abuse is wasted on the narcissist.”

[@garydavidson922]

I left my narcissist last week. I keep finding myself saying, "And this time I MEAN IT!" And I think this time, I really do. I was with her for nearly a decade, but I only figured out that she was a narcissist and what that meant about a year ago. Before then, I just thought she was crazy, and hands down the meanest person I've ever encountered in my life. What's strange is that I began writing this comment with the thought of disagreeing with your assertion that a narcissist can be manipulated, because I've negotiated with mine countless times and she never keeps her end of the deal. But then I remembered how easy I found it to manipulate her back in the first year we were together: I would tell her that I wasn't attracted to her anymore, and not interested in her sexually, and suddenly she would be all over me! I used that trick several times on her when she was depriving me of intimacy, and it worked like a charm every time. Eventually, though, it stopped being effective.

[@zakithiganyaza5525]

😂🤣😂 you were tricking each other until tge trick stop the trickery.I am glad you left her though

[@deborahross97]

Psychopaths are born, Sociopaths are made. Most interesting composite on Narcissistic Behavior I've seen. Thank you.

[@tomloper9984]

My karate instructor many years ago use to say your best two weapons in a fight are your feet-- run.

[@rainandfog4322]

Thank you so much. As usual, your insights are so helpful. The last thing you say here, that "even abuse is wasted on the narcissist," is something I really needed to hear.

[@kdalessandro9895]

Strange thing is they always seem to get what they want including rewards they don't deserve. They never seem to fail! They're the people you'd LOVE to see fall on their face because they're evil, but they keep on winning. I don't know what they're learning from life since they consider themselves infallible. When people leave them they don't even entertain the possibility that it could be their fault.

[@aslioz7326]

They have empty souls. Is it winning? I don’t think so.

[@gothedelic8006]

Exactly omg. You read my mind 😳

[@dreamtolife2385]

So true!! 💯

[@carmineruocco3768]

@@aslioz7326 they have empty souls in new cars and nice houses, what do you have?? Pride??

[@rupk5578]

My narc mother is an alcoholic who works at a minimum wage job has no friends, a toxic relationship and is aging terribly. She's definitely not winning

[@sagatuppercut2960]

People wonder why I don't try to make friends, and keep to myself. I'd rather be alone and doing some activity that is meaningful to me instead of dealing with crazy personalities. I'm glad there are psychologists that are willing to understand people's mental problems 'cause I don't even want to try. I just want to make a lot of money and be left alone.

[@coletteDJ33]

💯💯💯

[@Idontknoooww]

Best personality

[@Idontknoooww]

👏👏

[@magnessko]

It is not worth to lose a your own soul and character just to manipulate them, it is like going down to their level. Just let them go with a good wish for them to have a breakthrough after which they could grow some real human traits and emotions. If not it? It is not your business, you have already invested too much heart, time and compassion into them. Say bye. And mean it.

[@Privacy-LOST]

"Yes, even abuse, is wasted on them" This last punchline killed me hahahhaaa x)))

[@JohnThornley]

probably some of the best advice I've heard for those under the thumb of a narcissist. shift of power to the previous victim.

[@rioreason]

Being financially and legally locked in, this is extremely helpful.

[@micheleruzicka1264]

Buys everything for his selfish self, never anything for me. I did everything he wanted to do, me I couldn't go anywhere in the 21 years. He holds the keys for cars. I would have to ask to go somewhere . I am so glad I found this video . So very true. You are so right sir. Thank you

[@aphro23]

Best video by far on what I had to deal with with my covert narc! Especially the grandiose fantasies. Spot on Sam

[@zipfooo]

I knew about narcissism to some extent for 15 years. But I only learned how to interact with my father, who is a covert narcissist, at 30 years old, when I put up some very needed boundaries such as meeting only in crowded spaces, and only 1:1 without his flying monkeys present, which was an immediate relief and did a lot of healing in and of itself. But to be really able to still sit down and talk to him and feel totally in control, I had to first research interrogation techniques and studying facial & body language. It takes me a solid hour every meeting of me shutting down his lying and delusions, pointing out his abuse, making ultimatums whenever he won't stop, over and over and over. He will try and use every technique in the book every time, but eventually with my technique I'll get 5 minutes of actual, non-pathological, non-abusive conversation out of it. Obviously, this isn't tenable long-term and even though in my control, every interaction is almost as draining as it ever was. My long-term goal is to go NC to drastically improve my quality of life. I never regretted any steps taken away from this man.

[@valentina_politova]

Все то, что вы описали действительно необходимо, чтобы иметь хотя бы 5 минут не разрушающего разговора 🙁

[@maureenabais4968]

Gee I wish they would incorporate this study into our education system. It would not only prepare potential victims it, would also offer the person who possesses this disorder with a chance to self identify and the opportunity to change or alter their behaviours. Especially if they are educated at a younger age. This has helped me so much. Thankyou.! I have saved you and intend to buy your book , or, videos. I will pass this forward to others I know who will benefit. Wonderful work.

[@spizsocs7181]

If you want to manipulate the narcissist then you become one yourself I think it's.better to walk away and find peace within yourself and for the future you will have the tools to protect yourself from people like this

[@lykedady72]

spiz socs stfu sometimes u have to in order to survive

[@leawilliams7893]

Unfortunately that's not so easy when you have a child together.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

One word: Murder

[@Christian_Girl120]

Just GET RID of the evil excuses for human beings COMPLETELY. That's the only way. What this gentleman is explaining is a good exit strategy. But the end game is to get rid of them PERIOD.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

I hope you mean murder. Yes I think that's only way to rid them from our lives is to end theirs of course you'd have to begin by physically torturing them in the most painful ways possible.

[@dianeconti7602]

I wouldn't waste any time on the narcissist and completely cut off all communication, even change my address. Cut off their supply. Then the next step would be to focus all my time, energy and efforts on myself. Living well, being happy and successful is the greatest revenge. Cut them off. When trying to manipulate you are still being controlled by them. Get a new hobby. Let that be your own self betterment.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

No the greatest revenge is MURDER. Trust me it's the best revenge there is and then maybe you can do all that soul searching shit

[@Handsoflight7766]

Just got rid of the old owner of my business who was a narcissist. Asked her to change station and she said no. I needed that station to greet clients and surveillance on my inventory. I signed a five year term to keep her to be able to purchase the business. I moved all her stuff to another station in the back where she could not be seen from the mall but while she was on vacation. She was so insulted that she resigned with 4 weeks notice, found another place the same day and kept telling clients where she was going in not 4 but 2 weeks. Then she kept bragging about how nice the new salon will be compared to this one (she decorated this one). After two days of listening to the put downs I asked her to leave that day. Gone for good and all my clients are soooo happy about it.

[@sieracki001]

Usually a narc is in a position to have ample NS and so your individual contribution to this is always hedged. They will make sure to have other sources available as they know they have this vulnerability. This is why the corporate narc is always wanting to build overstaffed teams so that if their primary source(s) exits they have will have ample backup.

[@absolute3112]

Done this a million times over, starting from childhood with my malignant narc gma and covert narc mom.

[@apersonthatsnice6202]

Somehow I feel like a narcissist myself applying these things...but I have to stay with this narcissist at least a year in order not to end up homeless and broke. Thank u

[@chillout7975]

My ex had gay fantasies he told me about in writing - when he threatened to ruin my life - I told him I'd do the same to him and send everyone he knows his little fantasy catalogue ....I didn't enjoy having to be just a nasty but it did make him back riiiiight off !!

[@karadiberlino]

NICE!! 😁👌🏼 And WELL DONE! That‘s EXACTLY how to deal with narcs. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💯

[@juliamarie8551]

Chill Out You can bet that he fulfilled those fantasies. Many narcissists are bisexual. Supply is supply to them. They have no boundaries.

[@kynathomas4809]

@@HUMILIATRIX That's so funny that you say that because the NARCISSIST woman in my neighborhood who I thought was a friend called me a gossip. I've been in the same neighborhood for 10 years and she has been here 5 years and knows everyone's household and personal business because she's a nosy gossip. Talk about projection!!!!!!!!

[@dave80trkr]

Should had told him "Lets see ur fantasies come true" lol.

[@marlyhort]

So good to find you. Totally agree with you. Without knowing, I have been way 1 and 2 for the narc in my life and yes, I have him at my feet. When he gets into his "insecurity behaviours", I totally ignore it.

[@GRAHAM2109]

Having BPD, we seem to attract narcissists and it's hard to walk away from them.

[@powermom]

A narcissist is dating my son. I don't care about their feelings or tantrums. Call them out. Get rid of them. Raid for roaches

[@naughtyue7284]

DTH Mom stop comparing narcs to roaches. that is for uneducated unintellectual people with no common sense. the world needs roaches. it doesnt need narcissist. ps, raid does not work on all species. also dont smoke raid.

[@naughtyue7284]

DTH Mom i wouldnt be surprised if you were someones narc or an affiliate. no content.

[@huaweiwei5678]

Are they still dating?

[@aliccoop33]

To me it seems like doing all of this madness in order to manipulate a narc is acting just like the narc. No thanks! I dont want to be like that evil thing!

[@thearcadegamer8128]

Then kill it

[@chiriviscospower]

No just a good punch in the face will let them know you mean business..

[@laksyrowpolysdg3153]

@@chiriviscospower No, by doing that you've given them something they can use against you. Once you've punched them in the face they could sue, go to the police etc. and enjoy watching you have a horrible time.

[@krisg1604]

I’m a borderline,and for some reason I instinctively know how to manipulate narcs,nobody had to tell me.Sam is 100 percent correct!.

[@oliverlopezgarcia204]

Hahahaha tell me your secret to manipulate them ... im sure its fake

[@krisg1604]

Pour Le Miens lol, I’m sorry, do I know you?.If not, then you have no clue what you are talking about :)

[@belove9]

Every single diagnosis in the DSM 5 was voted into existence by a bunch of quack doctors including borderline personality disorder. My grandfather was part of the APA who made up every version of the DSM for the depopulation agenda. He created genocide at the largest mental asylum in the states and used his patients for mk ultra trauma based mind control programming. With that being said, his diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder fits him well 👿. I believe people who are mislabeled as borderline personality disorder are in reality highly empathetic souls who have spiritual gifts. We can see the evil in people and feel the need to bully the bully. I have all the empathy in the 🌎 for victims of abuse but I lack any type of empathy for those who get off hurting innocent souls. I have yet to meet someone who is labeled with BPD that hasn't experienced childhood trauma and come from a toxic family or generational curses. I hope that this information comforts you the way it comforted me. I fell for the gaslighting for so long and believed I had borderline personality disorder. I was so angry as first to find out psychiatry is nothing but a pseudoscience but then this truth set me free. Much love and light 🙏😇😇😇😇

[@andreaowens4861]

Same 😂

[@Ava.Luna.Bellatrix]

​@@belove9 This is insightful. Thank you for sharing 🩷

[@Michelle-lc3jy]

I work for a boss who is narcissist. Sam's videos have been a godsend to me to understand that it's not me, it's him. I now understand I work for a mentally ill person, and am taking steps to set clear boundaries while I'm still working there, while I'm also looking for a way out. I do agree the devil slowly infiltrates people's lives and settles us into comfortable behaviors and paths. I guess I'm at the juncture where I think I still may be able to do some good at the firm I work for, but am realistic that my boss' behavior will likely not change, but become more virulent. This particular video gave me some good ideas as to how to approach an upcoming compensation adjustment meeting with him. While I don't like the term manipulate, I do realize I'll need to use some of these manipulative techniques to get my salary adjusted up to a fair level considering all the hard work I perform, and abuse I have endured catering to his narcissist persona for many years.

[@patriotmom777]

I've found it easier to diminish their demand for supply by having educated myself about NPD first off, traits strategies calculations etc which also aided with my own recovery of self and Individuality. Last but not least: Calling it out as it has been observed plus mastering the use of reverse psychology whenever a narc argues, insults, rewrites history, gaslights, manipulates and more. Playing the same games as the the narc doesn't work (been there done that) it only fuels the volcanic need for supply. Wise educated victims, reverse psychology, standing one's grounds and staying fearlessly true to ones own life and living it too. That's how a person Truly- keeps the narc from being abundantly fed a buffet of supply. The more a narc is starved of supply, the sooner they begin to realize who and what they really are whether truth and reality hurt their feelings and pride or not.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

And let's not forget revenge murder. Why let them live any longer? They dont deserve to thrive on others. They deserve to burn in hell

[@ds-oc3vj]

Yeah that's the best way. U can actually get through at times. And even see some growth. They slip back into old ways too quick tho

[@ds-oc3vj]

There needs to be a boot camp for these people

[@patriotmom777]

@@ds-oc3vj I've seen that pattern as well and had made it a point to keep metal notes that when new strategies fail narcs, they revert back to old dead fruitless tactics until they can regroup, devise new fallible strategies and find themselves failing again. Narcs absolutely refuse to give up. Failure is an insult to their ignorance and hurts their arrogance as well. Learning lessons is beneath them according to the deluded self worshipping beliefs they've they create for themselves. Victims have to stay in tune with true self Care, physically, psychologically and emotionally. Being broken down and completely deteriorated by narcs has never been, is not now and will never be, essential to individual survival.

[@themegaislandman]

@@thearcadegamer8128 That is certainly not the answer. Vengeance only belongs to God. He will allow you to see your opposition fall. But when you witness it, do not outwardly rejoice. Have the inward, humble, recognition that God carried out justice for you. Prepare to be amazed. Be well.

[@richardallonzo6734]

Thanks for being such an insightful advocate for sanity Sam. Your first hand wisdom is very much appreciated. I like the idea that to defeat these wolves in sheep's clothing who also like to cry wolf, one needs to be a well prepared shepherd in wolf's clothing.

[@Candie183]

I find myself constantly wishing he was different. Constantly wishing that overnight he'll find the empathy and compassion. He'll find the ability to love.

[@gratefulforlifeandkindness]

Why don't you find a guy who care about u? Why deal with that. Why deal with a man that care about himself Only. You think u can fix him huh? Make a cold soul produce love. Your wasting your time. You can't fix him. He has to fix hisself. If it ever happens.

[@John-N797]

The only way to control a narcissist is to become one. If you try to pretend so that you supply them, you will finally become a narcissist. You will definitely destroy your soul. The only way is leave, don't look back, close any road, path, river, sea or route that they could use to get to you.

[@MeanOldLady]

"No." & walking away.

[@toni-kristianpuska9100]

I must ask you a question. I was in an abusive relationship for eight years. It all was wonderful until my gf got his first outburst. I was baffled. I had never seen her like that. I continued, and I noticed, that I was dealing with someone whoms anxiety and emotions I had to regulate. She also was telling me always what to do. She was really neurotic about cleaning, and she also nagged about everything. One time there was somekind of breaking point for me. I remember, how I was once again but down.... I was standing on balcony when it was raining. I was smoking heavily, as my nerves started to shatter. There came something in me... I heard voice, that I had never before heard. It said in my psyche, that "You need to defend yourself, or she will destroy you." There were certain signals on her body language, when we met, that gave me a gut feeling: I was in a wrong place. When we first had sex, it felt amazing, and after she went to bathroom. When she came back, I noticed, that she look at me really weirdly. That made my stomach turn and my feet felt numb. I didnt listen my intuition. Once we were at party, and went in bathroom together. I remember it always what she said to me with blue bright eyes: "You are controllable." I still didnt listen. She had ex boy friend whom she dumped, and ex boyfriend was devastated for years. First time I ran from argument, I went to the pub near by. I started talking with her ex boy friend who was there also. He said to me: "If you stay in a relationship with her, you will kill yourself." I put that thought inside my head, but didnt still do nothing. Things started to escalate after her ex boyfriend got an advive from psychologist: "Dont go into her web of high conflict narrative." I am not sure if I am right about this, but she got me in relationship to get vengence against her boyfriend. When her ex got new girlfriend and moved away, shit started to happen to me. I was the main source of projection. All anxiety, everything that was wrong. I actually became defensively violent against her, when she started to attack me verbally. It was like I had turned into darkside, I was becoming her. My question is? Can I turn into narcissist, when I have been abused by narcissist for year. I think I am now at discard phase. I got really broken, but it had already happened 3 times, so now I reacted differently. I got away for 2 weeks. Thought of things. Trying to get the bond thinner. Now at my own apartment, I have only concentrated on my own wellbeing. I has been difficult, but I am better, fragile, but getting stronger.

[@davess]

sam, love hearing your videos very informative and find them comforting oddly enough...

[@bitcoinski]

80% of my neighbors behave like toddlers..smh. Thank you for helping me deal with them. Cheers Doc!

[@OceanbornAngel]

When you talk about stalkers of narcissists I keep picturing Kathy Bates in Misery. O.O

[@tiffanyayseyaseminsungur1600]

Thank you Sam for the wonderful video! I appreciate that you mentioned the defence of the disorder. Your video inspired me to research and understand the defence of the disorder. You are a great teacher!

[@VanityGold]

Accurate!! All of these techniques WORK!!!! Behave the way they do, and bam!!! You've got them where you need them to be!

[@audragrima2784]

When you said “name your price” that made me laugh because of how true it is

[@auptag4846]

Exactly spot on. This is HIM PRECISELY.

[@ingeborghaave6235]

They stay with you, as long as they need you........I have an example. We were going for a holiday - but the day before leaving, my brother died. I had to cancel the trip to US, but wanted to drive him to the airport, so I did. On that journey he told me he didn't feel sorry for me, and relationship between us (brother and me) wasn't that good. I was crying, and at the airport he only told me: Good luck - and left. I am strong and hopefully reflected, so I have laughed about it lather on. "Good luck" with what ? Life or funeral ! He came back some months later - and who took him back? He never apologised for his behaving. Well - I was looking and hoping for it. Today I know:) More conscious about boundaries Ingeborg needs. I care about people, but admit I often in my past have been taken for granted. Have a lovely daughter I try to make conscious about this issue.

[@wildcatalert]

The only way to manipulate a Narcissist is to be a Psychopath, cause if you are a normal person with emotions and empathy, you can't stand his manipulation and psychological abuse! Run! Run away! If you can't, try to ignore him as much as you can! Find the strength to be calm and silent. This will probably drive them mad, bored, and finally they find another victim.

[@deannamcv8869]

Manipulating anything feels empty. I came thinking, maybe I'd get one over on him. However now I feel like if I try this, I will not only feel worse but I feel like I will think it works and instead I'll be falling for the narcissist's trap. Lol.

[@joemetzengerstein8519]

Thabk you so much for this video. We need to react in the certain ways. If we're dealing with a toxic narcissistic abuser and we can't break contact, we need reparation for what they took. We need benefits just so we can get out of the survival zone. Specially if we're talking about parental relationships we can't yet dispose of. I want and will do everything in my power and learn any resource I deem valueable to exploit my abuser financially. I was made miserable, and shaped to be dependant. It's time to learn how to be independent, yes, but I aim to at least take back money out of this, since my mental health crumbles in shambles every moment I need to keep contact. Ten words are enough to ruin my day, and they never ever speak only ten words. I wish there were more videos like this. I've been stuck in a loop before on watching videos about deciphering their tactics, but it hasn't been as helpful as learning how to act in ways I can reduct the harm by being counter-exploitive. I recognize that this is a better way to react.

[@sophiamcnamara9851]

Copy their behaviours and tactics sure enough they run a mile I outsmarted mine I endured that side of him max 3 months they are easy to outsmart and you can do it in a clever non abusive way mirror them they are baffled.

[@whoKnew1621]

I've tried this but it seems they become more competitive and vindictive. It's like they stop at nothing smh.

[@thearcadegamer8128]

If that doesn't work I'd go for brutal murder. You wouldn't believe the things a person is capable of when they've had to endure constant abuse.

[@teritapeterson5236]

I absolutely agree! Short term only but justice is served!

[@NoNormalBloominFools]

Wow. Even abuse is wasted on the narcissist. Powerful impact statement. Yet i feel bad for them.

[@lucyhellbroke]

In some respects, there is an interesting thing to consider when you say the phrase that even abuse is wasted on narcissists... Seeing as narcissism usually stems from some significant childhood trauma that usually entails abuse, I have always pondered what is the defining factor that causes some people to learn from their abuse and become better people, and why some end up becoming narcissists... Having come from an abusive and traumatic background of my own, I recognize many of the same Tendencies and abilities Within Myself to have easily become a narcissist at any point in the game. I made a decision consciously to not do so. So why did I make that decision, and why would someone, say my ex, who had a very similar upbringing, and even in many ways objectively less traumatic, somehow end up choosing (whether inadvertently or not) the path of what ultimately becomes narcissism? I think it goes back to what you said. Abuse is wasted on narcissists. And perhaps that is all the difference in the world... Perhaps it is that initial abuse, and the choice that we both had to make respectively along our ways over and over again, with me choosing NOT to perpetuate the cycle of abuse and Trauma, and whatever trigger caused my ex to become a narcissist, perhaps as simple as him making the opposite Choice... Perhaps the fact that abuse is wasted is not just true of the "finished product" of a narcissist... but also, the truth of what really CREATES a narcissist to begin with. 🤔 Could it really be as simple as (again, deliberatly knowing or not...) just that? A choice?

[@7deadlysins415]

Narcissists are angels in comparison to psychopathic manipulators!

[@edwardgreller]

Thank you for your educational videos. I didn't realize I had many narcissistic traits until I got into a relationship with one. For the longest time I knew something was not quite right about me, but I could not explain it.

[@zulmamatos3198]

I'm going to start to record the conversation I have with my narcissist . When I confronted him that he was a narcissist and how I was going to tell all his friends he laughed and said No one will believe you. Of course they're not because he treats them differently in person but when the day is over he talks about all of them in a bad way. So by recording him I will have proof

[@hatchetmagee8313]

how about using a hatchet

[@andrews5091]

I don't see how manipulating the person is healthy or beneficial. That's just how I feel about it

[@lauramurman2642]

Hello you all! Patience will reward itself. With two extrem narcissists in my immediate neighbourhood, both of whom continuously excrete psychological and physical abuse/violence, I personally implement and as a result of the effectiveness therefore strongly recommend the following "treatments" (mantras): "What goes around, comes around". "Every dog has his day". "What doesn't kill you just makes you sick for a while". Both our physical and psychological immune systems need to be challenged continuously and therefore should not, under any circumstances be left to idle in various comfort zones. "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen". If you can't take the shit, go and hide in the attic. Narcissists are everywhere! They are the pandemic against which here is no other vaccination than patience and psychological resilience. Take care and be well! Laura

[@Privatenospying]

Yes! Professor! Gullible - this trait is often over looked! Thank you for these tips for survival in my live long relationship with them

[@atlassorroughs2073]

He just ran me down to a "T"....scary. I finally got help after hitting the bottom...this guy is good

[@bmwe24M6driver]

weird...I did all three unknowingly for 10 years until my ex wife burned me out. . Thank you for helping me realize my ex wife is a covert somatic narc. She finally decompensated blew up and moved 2000 miles away when I stopped her narc supply.

[@mandyporras07]

Thank you for making this video. Seriously... I don’t know if you understand what a big difference you are making.

[@michelefaydobb7247]

I don’t think Sam Vaknin is actually suggesting stay with him. He is showing us how they will react ( and use different tactics or behave differently if and if we do this and this ... if , if we ( are considering ) stay with them. And the picture he presents is not one most want ever; we’ve experienced enough. He’s saying don’t bother. Thank you.

[@michellestaunton2264]

Learn thislesson well! Even abuse is washed on the narcissist ! Just LEAVE them alone kick them out of your life!

[@trinka123]

had a relation wit a narcissit, now i see him every day, but i learn to live with it

[@stevei-cj4sc]

this was very good. We have the narcissist property manager and I have seen her destroy good people who dared to ask even basic questions to her. She sees everything as a personal affront. I am glad I saw this because now I have some empathy for her situation. Not that it makes it easier to deal with her.

[@jokerjolly5873]

Sometimes, by not knowing that, through business, you must act like those around you, just to survive. Understanding is really good. Informations are more valued than gold. In this case, your mental health.

[@mikegordon6404]

The fact that these type videos are so popular is scary. Narcissist sociopaths look like normal people. Seems to be their greatest power. I wonder what the percentages are?

[@DevoidVoid]

Sociopaths have nothing to do with this particular dynamic. 😂

[@briannaw.7226]

I always admit when I need help. And I don't view myself as superior to anyone. But I do revolt to my narcissists mother who always thinks SHE's the victim. I'm physically ill and I think she holds that against me too. But I also get stalked a lot. I'm the scape goat in my family. My mom tries t destroy my relationships with everyone I know. I don't boast or brag. I don't abuse but I do fight back when I'm shamed and abused. I am always admitting my mistakes and apologizing to my mother when I think I was the aggressor, she never ever has apologized to me and she's almost always the aggressor. So why would I be prone to getting stalked when I'm pretty sure I'm not a narcissists?

[@I9s7lam5is-S3tu1pid]

You’re an easier target for their rage. Leave them by giving an ultimatum that you must mean and keep. Don’t expect any reciprocal or humble actions and words from them until it truly comes to that from them.