How To Move On From Your Ex - 5 Proven Detachment Strategies

The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith reveals the psychology behind why you're stuck on your ex and shares 5 proven detachment strategies to find fulfillment. This video provides a clear pathway forward.
Adam explains why people get stuck on exes - fear of loneliness, nostalgia, validation seeking, and missing intimacy. He shares proven techniques to find peace alone, make new memories, increase self-worth, bond platonically, and envision your ideal future. With these steps, you can detach from the past and create a fulfilling relationship.
Key topics:
-Overcoming relationship nostalgia
-Letting go of an ex
-Attachment theory and breakups
-Building confidence after heartbreak
-Envisioning your ideal partner
-Getting over infatuation
-Healthy relationship habits
Need to know when it's time to MOVE ON from a relationship? Give this a watch: 5 signs you should break up - IMMEDIATELY!! ▶️ • 5 signs you should bre...
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If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.
Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity
www.amazon.com/dp/B07S33YGJZ
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Chapters:
0:00 - Introduction
1:35 - Why You Get Stuck on an Ex
3:34 - Fear of Being Alone
4:43 - Shared History and Memories
6:13 - Seeking Validation and Low Self-Esteem
7:01 - Missing Physical and Emotional Intimacy
8:24 - Strategy 1: Embrace Solitude
9:33 - Strategy 2: Make New Memories
10:43 - Strategy 3: Build Self-Worth
12:17 - Strategy 4: Redirect Oxytocin
13:50 - Strategy 5: Define Your Life Vision
15:06 - Seek Support and You Are Not Alone

[@Ismail-kv3ex]

Hey Mr. Smith, first just want to say I found you from Chris Williamson's podcast and you easily became my favorite guest to ever appear (twice!). Secondly though, while watching this video to help my brother (who seems to be starved for Oxytocin) I noticed the video chapters appear to be misaligned. Really hope this channel explodes and you get to reach as many as possible. Cheers.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey thanks for coming over, glad you've found my work valuable! Happy to help. And thanks for the heads up on these chapters. Much appreciated.

[@user-pv2dp4dq8b]

Thanks Adam. One thing I really like about your videos and advice... I have a lot of the problems you talk about (lol). I tend to arrive naturally at the same strategies. But having someone else to flesh them out a bit, and reiterate that I'm on the right track, really helps. It also makes it seem like you know what you're talking about :)

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey thank you, and I'm glad these are resonating with you. My job is to bring solutions to people who are ready for them!

[@eddiehdd]

Amazing video. Thank you so much. Glad I found this at the right time

[@soeunyoo2292]

Incredible video. Thanks a lot ♡♡

[@lynnferry291]

Great advice, Adam. Thank you!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad this was helpful!

[@oic1968]

Thank you for providing your insights...

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thank you for appreciating them!

[@stephaniestambuk1494]

AMAZING ADVICE!!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thank you so much for your feedback. Which part was the most helpful in your opinion?

[@MartaHobzova]

Thank you for providing lot of tips on this, to make sure we are not stuck on someone and also making sure our attachment is healthy to build secure relationships going forward!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Correct, it's time to move forward into a better relationship instead of staying stuck!

[@solutions4tenants141]

Adam thank you for more awesome content. I’ve needed these detachment skills for years… thank you for flipping from attachment specialist to Detaching specialist for this episode.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey there, glad this helped you. Sometimes we need to detach first so we can attach better later with someone healthier for us!

[@sandram6068]

This was so good and positive! Thank you so much. I needed it 🥰🙏🏻

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad it was helpful!

[@tomtales5954]

hate to say this, but your video subjects are on point

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sorry to hear it, but glad you have the info you need.

[@GJones247]

Golden.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks!

[@amyjomoore9390]

Spot on

[@AttachmentAdam]

Appreciate your feedback! What stood out the most to you?

[@arminxvs3372]

Got any additional advice on what to do when your ex is working in the same company? No cut possible because I see her in the office so we have to interact and pretend how everything is fine. Usually a cut is essential but due to worl I cannot cut her off. It's not always easy.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Try to compartmentalize when you’re at work. It’s simply a professional courtesy you are doing by interacting. When you’re off the clock you’re also off the mental clock of thinking about her. Do you think you can achieve this? It might require a lot of mental fortitude.

[@g.r.s5200]

I'm finding it hard seeing my ex when i go to pick up my kids from her. Struggling to deal with this and make boundaries

[@spyroluver0951]

that is hard. That is normal to feel and you are doing great seeing your kids. Give yourself love for the small wins you do and setting boundaries requires a friend and a paychologist to talk about.

[@spyroluver0951]

i'm setting boundaries with my ex but writing down what i value and believe, then seeing what i need. Having kids makes it difficult as you know you cannot cut them out but talk to friends who understand your situation, supports you and can give you logical solutions

[@AttachmentAdam]

This is such a common problem! We just had to hold a whole group coaching session in my private community on managing the behavior of exes. Many of the members were facing this same problem.

[@michellegirau8136]

I dont know I'm beginning to think you never get over a first love. So much time has passed been married with 2 kids then divorced, then married again with 1 kid been together for almost 14 years, have spent 10 years getting a few different degrees, spent a lot of time doing fitness classes, spending time out doors and currently started a new job. I am also a therapist. I still miss my ex now it could be how things ended on my end I hurt both of us but maybe its because things in my life would have been completely different if I didn't do what I did. I just have to live with my mistakes.

[@moonknight4053]

Gee, you should tell ur husband of now that…… that’s a pretty big red flag in a relationship.

[@lynnferry291]

There are no mistakes. A lot of what people call mistakes is just "the grass is always greener" syndrome. Maybe if you had stayed with the ex, you'd be miserable now. Leave the past in the past and move on.

[@slick_Ric]

you're right, you don't know, but thankfully you found your way to Adam's channel and he can help with all of that. to me it sounds like textbook dismissive attachment where you're using longing for an ex as a way to escape your current relationship when it's convenient. a lot of us do it, it's nothing impossible to overcome. yes 14 years of all those things but not 14 years of applying the things that Adam teaches. also if you know God through Jesus Christ you would know that the things that have left your life were not meant for you, and you'd have peace about where you are now because that's where God wants you. seeking God in the Bible would probably be the best thing you could do at any given moment, i hope you'll find Him and get peace about this

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey, this takes a lot of guts to share. Sometimes we get a connection with an ex that never activates with a new partner, sometimes because the new partner is actually healthier and doesn't provoke us on purpose like an ex did. There are ways to generate those similar feelings with a new partner and make it happen FOR you instead of TO you, but it has to be intentional. I'll be glad to explain more if you want to send me an email at [e-mail].

[@ErkekAdam]

Most people can. It is you who cannot get over your 1st.

[@moonknight4053]

Hey Adam, what are your thoughts on Johann Haris book on depression? Lost connections

[@AttachmentAdam]

I haven't read it yet, what did you think of it?

[@spyroluver0951]

Hi Adam. Can you please reccomend me anything. I am setting boundaries slowly with friends and family, i have disconnected with my ex strongly with boundaries and i am finding myself in a loop searching for validation, comfort and intimacy with men (just reaching out via messaging) in friendship circles. I am doing my new hobbies and working on getting a new job but get stuck randomly on fantasying loop with what a relationship with this person would be like. What would you recommend?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Yes, absolutely. Shoot me an email at [e-mail] and let's discuss, I think I've got a specific term that you need to hear for what's happening.

[@AdrianRahn]

A year later, but I take it

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad you've got this now to help. How you doing?

[@BeckyJB]

9:02 good to know that the things I am doing are the right things but when the ex comes back and reignites those memories 😢then what?? I appreciate these things mentioned ❤❤❤❤ can you please share your recommendations with me?

[@oambitiousone7100]

❤ 💣

[@AttachmentAdam]

🔥

[@angieevansortizlopez]

All of these apply 🤦‍♀️

[@AttachmentAdam]

Time to apply them!