How to Reunite with Healthy Souls I Inner Work for Relational Trauma & Mature Love [40/52]

[@jordanthornton]

*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)* It's an absolute pleasure to film these KZbin videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together. I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions. Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024. To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together. Please take the time to read this service description before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc. ... *READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:* I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions. Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for containment and collaboration. I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive effort. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation. I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability. ... *HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH* Unlike other coaches and teachers who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense. This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months. If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated transformative practice per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual reflection, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs, no cigarettes, no vapes). These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with my KZbin videos may not be the right match for four months of structured mentorship. If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me. I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked transformative experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path. I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to making consistent and meaningful progress towards your unique goals and mentorship aspirations. I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via friendly and informal messenger contact, where I am active and available four days per week to cultivate an intimate personal connection while likewise enhancing your positive momentum via accountability check-ins and additional support as required. By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations. I often support people who are accustomed to wrestling with the emotional challenges associated with working through complex wounds in previous therapeutic relationships before we begin our coaching work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. We will be exploring your psyche and soma at scale and depth, and it will be your responsibility to keep me informed about the emotional texture of your internal reality, especially if you encounter negatively charged experiences, and I will of course do everything in my power to support you through the hard times as we integrate the darkness and move forwards together. KZbin is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private mentorships, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material. Ultimately, this is a highly-demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions. ... *SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:* The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or approximately $9,400 USD. This is my only coaching programme, and my mentorship pricing is liable to adjustment over time. Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and informal calls upon occasion. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday. If you’ve scrolled this far, and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to start exploring your goals and intentions in real-time. IMPORTANT: I am an intentionally independent coach, and not a licensed therapist or associated with any professional bodies or coaching institutions, and therefore enjoy the freedom to collaborate with my clients across all areas of life in an intimate, direct and highly involved coaching style. I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I also manage my own inbox and do not use automated systems or employ people to pretend to be me on Instagram, which means that it usually takes four to six weeks for me to respond to new messages and begin the interview process. Although my approach takes time, I hope you ultimately appreciate my personal emphasis on authentic and confidential communication from the very beginning of our relationship. I once again encourage you to message me immediately if you want to start working together within the next two months - bump yourself to the top of my inbox, and I’ll send you some voice notes to get our conversation started.

[@tricatame7427]

The fact that there are men like you is the proof that everything is going to be alright in the end.

[@jordanthornton]

Hahah - appreciated, but why do you say that specifically? 🧐🌲

[@tricatame7427]

@@jordanthornton Because you are literaly promoting Wisdom which I personally don't know too many men care about and your voice reflects the level of inner calm and security you achieved in your own life. You come across one guy like this even though its online, and next thing you know you will see more of them in real life because now you know they exist and it conditions the mind to include that in your mental spectrum of perceptions pertaining to men as a whole.

[@jordanthornton]

@@tricatame7427 This is a huge compliment, thank you. Increasingly conscious men who are doing the work are indeed out here - and more of us increasingly too, hopefully!

[@dealensky]

@@tricatame7427 I absolutely agree! 🙂

[@methodmuse]

"To really have grown together." (8:40) - After 16 years with the same person, I’d say this is the biggest benefit of being in a relationship. It forces you to grow as a person because you can't fool them the way you trick yourself. If there's a problem it will keep coming back up until you solve it. Basic social skills like sharing, communicating and de-escalating all take on serious meaning. Lack of self-development puts the connection in peril. You both change over time, and learn how to navigate that. I think many people get confused by the “Hollywood” version of love. They think they can just be who they are and their partner must accept their bad behavior. They don't realize it’s a give-and-take, a constant courtship. Becoming your best self makes success much more likely. Thanks for another incredible topic and video! 💫🙌

[@jordanthornton]

I love hearing this - congratulations! An increasingly rare achievement in today’s era 🌲

[@methodmuse]

@@jordanthornton Thanks very much! I just wish young people had better education on what constitutes a healthy relationship. Reality TV it is not. 😑🤫

[@PippiBarbieri]

Yea and this is why the divorce rate peaks at around 4.5 years where you realize that your projections are not working any more!!!

[@jordanthornton]

@@PippiBarbieri Great point - there appear to be several points like this (especially the 1.5 to two-year mark of dating initially, when the honeymoon projection shared fantasy can potentially break if not consciously dissolved beforehand!)

[@methodmuse]

@@PippiBarbieri I agree that many people don't have the foundations that make a long term commitment work or they chose it for the wrong reasons. My relationship lasting as long as it has seems like some crazy miracle. When I was 13, I determined I was never going to marry or have kids. So much for that. 😄 I'm glad the universe had other plans. I would have missed out on some of the best learning experiences in life.

[@yasmenebadereldin]

You bring up such an important point: complimentary doesn’t mean enriching, healing and growth oriented. This is especially the case today, with this movement back to traditional gender roles and emphasis on our innate differences. Which is bringing back SOME sense….buuut in a very transactional and wounding way. Especially in those dynamics you mentioned. I have seen many interviews of couples with this outlook on their relationship saying “it works for them” but can’t help but see a deep sadness emerge from the unconsciousness. Each person will naturally fall into their respective “role” once there is that mutual love and trust. Not when it’s a “you owe me” attitude toward the other person, which is that objectification you mentioned. Great food for thought, thank you once again 🙏🏻

[@jordanthornton]

Yasmene, exactly! Trans-actionality with a cover-contract beneath the surface is less than ideal. It all ultimately begins with self-awareness and inner work (shock) - two loving and conscious people coming together means that the likely level of communication upgrade will also be tangible. Imagine that world, damn. Difficult for two 'increasingly conscious people' to keep their lover trapped in unconscious dynamics which dramatically devalue them - role will also more likely be agreed upon in the open, with love, in many cases (as you mentioned) Appreciate this thoughtful comment hugely, pleasure to read.

[@yasmenebadereldin]

@@jordanthornton You’ve said it all 👏🏻 I think the world will get there. At least I believe it will. And your work is accelerating that process for so many people already, so thank you. Happy to contribute to the conversation 🌙

[@LadyLeonardo]

As a woman in her 60's I can relate deeply to all of your commentary of object relations throughout my life, and moving on to the self development that makes us whole. Keep on Rockin! 🙏🪷

[@db9062]

This is really good! In Lowen’s book The Spirituality of the Body he discusses this paradigm of achievement is the equivalent of what scripture says regarding what has a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul. Very relevant and articulate video in this age of “red pill” philosophy and how it falls short of the deeper meaning and purpose of connection with our souls and bodies. I love your emphasis on trauma resolution, clearing the body of emotional pain and healing internally in the Spirit of love…where we all truly want to be, I believe. Connected to our original essence before fear of abandonment and interference of our natural empathic state occurred. To open up again as adults rooted and grounded in love, vulnerable but ever secure.

[@jordanthornton]

Great book, I've read it twice! I really appreciate Alexander Lowen's perspective on life and can see how I may have even drawn upon this idea subconsciously in this episode. Connection with both soul and body, exactly.

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

Lockdown, with all it's freedom of rights violations, did allow some folks a chance to lose many shallow unhealthy relationships, with so called friends. Lock down was just the retreat I needed and I have detoxed my friend circle. I am much more in touch with my authentic self now.

[@jordanthornton]

Yes, this is an experience that I’ve heard a few people having - an ‘easy opportunity’ to find more alone time and reorient to where new relationships could be formed. Glad to hear it, Pip.

[@gailaltschwager7377]

Thank you, Jordan!

[@mm.00n]

It’s like every video is perfectly synced up with most situations in my life.

[@jordanthornton]

Made the whole series just for you, Matt 😉✌🏻

[@jordanthornton]

*INNER WORK ESSENTIALS - EXPECTED LEARNING OUTCOMES (what you'll get from these videos)* On completion of this series, the student should expect to be: 1) Auto-therapeutic. The student will feel generally competent in their ability to select and self-administer the most suitable therapeutic modality on a full-spectrum basis: ranging from the somatic resolution of central childhood wounds to the everyday self-regulation of symptomatic stress responses such as anxiety and addiction. 2) Closer towards baseline integral consciousness (Wilber). Through their combined efforts of rigorous self-inquiry and critical engagement with recommended reading material, the student will have significantly developed their intellectual and spiritual maturity to a noticeable degree, in likely correlation with their depth of engagement. 3) Holistically Empowered. The student will enjoy a meaningful expansion of their physical, emotional, sexual, and creative expression as a result of their healing and expansion work. In short, they will be healthier, happier and feel more complete. 4) Self-educational. The student will have felt organically inspired to move beyond free video content and create a self-structured learning arc which takes maximum advantage of at least several dozen inner working books mentioned within the course. The student will consequently enjoy lifelong learning habits including: critical research skills, long-term focus, and the ability to know when to stop studying. *MY TEACHING INTENTIONS & STATEMENT OF DIRECTION* 1) Provide the student with an informed and representative overview of multiple complementary therapeutic modalities to support their self-healing process; with special encouragement placed upon the auto-therapeutic application of holistic healing modalities for particular problems at particular stages in their journey. 2) Nourish the intellectual and spiritual maturation of the student by familiarising them with the most exciting, challenging and credible concepts in developmental psychology, consciousness studies and transpersonal metaphysics; with central emphasis being placed upon comparative analysis of multiple complex theories. 3) Encourage an empowered and more authentic sense of individual self-expression as a combined outcome of the two previous intentions, plus the application of holistic lifestyle principles, self-educational practises, and foundational healthy habits.

[@sophiafara5997]

cool, subtle humor while providing nice insights, good work.

[@jordanthornton]

Ah yes, gotta find a way to add some lightness - hope this video landed well, Sophia.

[@urgestalterin-wegezumurspr1034]

Wow, It's so hard working through all of this while already being a mother! It's suffocating most of the time. Also realizing,while being a very consciouss human being, how much trauma my son has already endured during the 21 months of his life because of our unhealed trauma. It's horrifying. My Son doesn't go to kindergarten, since much trauma waits there, and he will be homeschooled, that's why i don't really have any free time and i really don't know when to do all this Trauma work, somatic experiences etc. Do you have an idea? I really love your videos, you're amazing. I want to watch all from beginning to end and get the books. It will be a slow but steady process, while battling with depression and being pregnant again... and living with a deeply traumatized husband who is of no help.

[@MandySky]

You speak such a profound truth. My life carried the heavy burden of which you describe. I've spent the better part of my life in a sense of dissonance in my two relationships. Even going back into the dating world after waking up, seeing this cycle play out in my choices. Until finally settling on myself. I'm generally turned off by dating profiles that are empty and shallow. Mostly men and women simply putting "ask me about myself". I'm at a time in my life of wanting a partner who will have their own autonomy. And in order to attract that, I need to get a handle on my own. Thank you for another truly healing video 🙏 ✨️

[@jordanthornton]

Mandy, you’re most welcome - highly recommend getting off the apps and going to yoga classes / workshops / mini festivals and shifting to meeting people in person as soon as you can. Dating apps keep us shallow, the medium is naturally restrictive for both people. Good luck 🌲

[@MandySky]

@@jordanthornton Thank you for your message and advice! First time I've ever felt a star struck vibe from a content creators reply! 😄 I've definitely been trying to get out there. Still shaking the covid isolation out of my aura lol but I'll take it to heart as a divine sign ✨️ Kind regards 😊

[@SamanthaFule]

Thank you for this. I've been trying to navigate the relationship I'm in that was formed while I was in a wounded/less conscious state.

[@jordanthornton]

Samantha, you are most welcome. I'm glad the video resonated - what are you finding to be the primary issues you're facing with this consciousness shift currently?

[@SamanthaFule]

@@jordanthornton For me, its how I have parentified my partner. I used him to fill a void where I had no father and I am mainly taken care of as a dependant. Now that I'm getting my own needs met and not requiring validation from him and others, I'm finding it hard to transition the relationship where my partner isn't meeting his own needs and doesn't speak on them. I refuse to continue that old dynamic and he doesn't believe he needs healing. Our relationship is far from toxic, and if anything is deemed as enviable of the old dynamic, so its new territory for me.

[@jordanthornton]

@@SamanthaFule Thank you for sharing, I see. It seems like it will open into a significant growth opportunity for him to explore other aspects of himself - either already known areas at greater depth or rather unconscious areas with new curiosity. I'm happy to hear that the relationship appears healthy overall, what a great new exploration to go on together - right?

[@valadawnsvoice12]

Thank You, totally resonate with everything and grateful to your depth of shares. Parts work, family Constellation and advanced hooponopono energetics as aligned me to your more practical & depth phycological aspects! thorough you are🙏 truly inspired.

[@jordanthornton]

Great practices - appreciate your attention and engagement with the videos! Thank you.

[@ceejaybeard9121]

Love your content friend. Soooo good. Needed this. Thank you.

[@jordanthornton]

I appreciate you taking the time to watch and let me know - thank you!

[@amandaschneikart3711]

It's so tough to find that balance between being self-sufficient without burying that soft femininity completely, like a lifelong dance between the ebb and the flow

[@jordanthornton]

Beautifully said, yes!

[@telaporta4790]

Brilliant! Great stuff Jordan!

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you - sending all my best!

[@Saoussennelina]

Beautiful video, as always ☘️

[@jordanthornton]

Appreciate your attention, as always.

[@milenamarushkina3195]

Do you happen to have any further supplemental book recommendations or resources on conscious relationships? Particularly how to navigate them in conjunction to the outer patriarchy? There is a feeling of comfort knowing that it exists, but it’s also something I haven’t truly witnessed/experienced. Thank you again for your wisdom ♥️🙏

[@jordanthornton]

Great question - apart from the classics like ‘Conscious Loving by Gay Hendricks’ & various non-violent communication books, I don’t actually recommend ‘relationship books’. What seems to be the most effective is psycho-education about male/female archetypal realities. I’ve found that female clients especially benefit from learning as much as they can about the male psyche & their inner masculine to be able to better understand the world of men and choose very wisely and appropriately while also supporting their partner in his manhood as he expresses. ‘The Shadow King’ by Sidra Stone is particular good for women relating to inner masculine, and of course the classic King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Moore & Gillette. Can also read something like ‘We’ by Robert Johnson to look at the mechanics of romantic projection. Hope this helps, not much direct answers but psycho education of archetypal realities seems hugely important for understanding of each other 🌲

[@milenamarushkina3195]

@@jordanthornton Wonderful!! Thank you!! I absolutely LOVED “the shadow king”. The spiral of self realization I was sent into was next level. 🫠 I’ll be adding your recommendations to my library! (:

[@jordanthornton]

@@milenamarushkina3195 Happy reading - fuels my fire to know you’re taking the suggestions offered in this series and comments! Thank you for doing the work 🌲

[@veronicaguerrero3201]

Thank you❣️

[@jordanthornton]

You are most welcome, Veronica!

[@veronicaguerrero3201]

@@jordanthornton gracias ☺️ i need help. I know i need to share something i have inside, its a lack of sharing. I think it is because humans are not taught in this aspect. How to say... respect and apart of this, LearniNG about the partner

[@our_own_wonderland]

Invitation accepted 🌲🐿️

[@jordanthornton]

Beautiful - wishing you the best in romance and partnership!

[@imnoemit]

What do you think of relationships base on polarities? Something I have came across recently over the internet and lots of things I have read makes sense with me by looking at myself, family, surroundings. Women operating mostly on masculine energy on our times and men more in their femenine how this affect relationship between a man and woman, resentments, etc...

[@jordanthornton]

Naturally disastrous for men to be primarily oriented in their feminine and vice versa - I’ve yet to see convincing evidence that anything less than distinctly polarised energetics between men and women is the best ‘overall solution’ for the majority of people in their love life. Controversial opinion for some, and I of course encourage both men and women to explore their inner masculine or feminine equivalents. I personally have a decently developed archetypal feminine energy which I can call upon when I need it - hope this helps? 🌲

[@imnoemit]

@@jordanthornton thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, cheers💜

[@akpenguin1859]

It’s kind of hard not to see yourself as an object when men have treated you like an object your whole life

[@jordanthornton]

Yes, it's a common tragedy and difficult to break these patterns. I've fortunately worked with women who I see overcoming this societal conditioning and brainwashing via their inner work. It's possible, and worth doing the work to restore our self-honour. Good luck!

[@Saoussennelina]

❤️

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you!

[@kevlandon]

Please speak up a little, I have the volume maxed and there are times where I can barely makeout what you are saying

[@jordanthornton]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this - I test the audio on three different devices before posting and nobody has ever given this feedback before. Perhaps, it might be your speakers?

[@kevlandon]

@@jordanthornton I just finished it, I had headphones on on my bike, I guess the wind was too much to hear through, sorry for the mistake. Nice insights, I can tell you've talked about this a lot

[@jordanthornton]

@@kevlandon No worries brother, glad you enjoyed the video! You're right that I don't tend to factor in wind resistance hahaha

[@abhishek-px4jj]

666 😂

[@jordanthornton]

🌲🌲🌲

[@maceyr.6583]

Thank you for sharing us this knowledge, Jordan! I believe love should really transcend beyond physicality. 🤍

[@jordanthornton]

Beautiful comment, transcend and include - yes!

[@maceyr.6583]

@@jordanthornton I still love your calmness. ✨

[@lovecreatesfreedom]

Did you find my instagram message. I havent seen a response to me message a few weeks ago

[@jordanthornton]

Ah, I can’t remember seeing anything - it may have somehow been deleted as spam on Instagram? Feel free to send me another introduction message and I’ll be with you as soon as I can 🌲

[@callieelliesociety]

Thank you ❤

[@jordanthornton]

You're most welcome!