How to Say Goodbye on a Good Day - 🐾 Dr. Mary Gardner

Dr. Mary Gardner, the co-founder of Lap of Love, is dedicated to the care of geriatric pets and helping the families that love them. As a veterinarian that exclusively works on pets in their final life stages, she has seen it all. From vision issues to mobility to incontinence to mobility issues and everything in between.
Having lost one of her dogs without her being present, Dr. Mary Gardner would not want that again for any of her other dogs. But planning euthanasia can be an emotionally challenging thought. As the common saying goes, “A week too soon is better than a day too late”, Dr. Mary discusses this topic and how a pet owner can prepare for a goodbye while things are still ‘good’ to help avoid an emergency situation.

[@mishmosh277]

I'm riding that roller coaster now and this video has been really helpful. Thank you.

[@kimlittleton4943]

This is such a great video. Thank you for sharing. I lost my Rex several years ago. I wanted to let him pass naturally at home. That did not happen. I waited too long, I feel like. He had always been by my side. However he had withdrawn from me. He would snip at us when we had to help him get up. I finally made the decision when, even with assist, he could not stand on his own at all. He had already not been eating well for a few weeks. I felt that anticipatory anxiety grief horrendously......but I felt that relief as well. I am glad you explained this. ....... Now fast forward, I have a 12 year old, Wilson, with LarPar. He has had 2 somewhat scary episodes in the last 2 months with his breathing. His mobility is still good. However, we cannot go on walks because of the breathing. The last episode, we had only walked in the yard like 5 minutes on a cooler night, and his breathing started stridor. He is still eating fine. So trying to make this decision is hard. But I do not want him to go into a full respiratory failure with the LarPar. Anways....I could go on and on.....but this video is really helpful. Thank you so much. I went to your website, and unfortunately no Lap of Love vets in my area.

[@leslieleslie1284]

grief is love that has nowhere to go.

[@Jones8orejas]

Im so grateful.Im putting my cat to sleep tomorrow.I feel a little better....as if someone has me and my cats back.Thank you so much from Mexico City.

[@shannonthejeepgirl]

The universe sent me to this video tonight. I’m on that emotional roller coaster of good days and bad days with a dog with bone cancer and it’s so hard when the rest of their body wants to live.

[@bellablueheadlam7823]

I lost my best friend Brooklyn on Monday. The grief is unbearable. He was the best dog ever!

[@Padre_Kalibre]

I had to say goodbye to my best friend this morning around 4:00 am. She was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on her spine and the pain has gotten to the point she would scream in pain even when at rest. Right now I'm like a moving vehicle without an engine. And I don't even know how I'm moving. I just recently bought her brand new bowls for her food and drink and she had one more diaper left. I hadn't eaten, slept for almost 48 hours knowing she'll no longer be greeting me at the door whenever I come home and barking at me while wagging her tail. I'm going to be grieving her departure from this world for a very long time and she will always be in my heart just like my other pets that had died under my care. I know I'll see them again someday when my time comes.

[@BunnyandMoon]

Hi, I hope you’re doing okay, I’m so sorry it was so difficult for your dog in her final days. It’s hard to let them go, but it’s such a relief that they suffer no more. My cat also had a spinal condition although a different kind. One night he just spasmed in pain, it was horrifying, and it was hard to watch him get weaker and weaker. He was only a year old. Now I’m sadly anticipating the death of my senior cat, the one who sleeps under my arm almost every night. I’ve been watching a lot of these videos and tracking her QOL progress. 😢 I’m going to miss her so much. I hope we both see our pets at that rainbow bridge someday.

[@claudiaonorato4340]

Thank you so much for this. Saying goodbye to my Stella on Saturday. She won’t ever be gone. She’s a dog body with a soul and the soul never dies.💔😊

[@Die2liv]

I was able to record my westies heartbeat. Stethoscope on microphone on iPhone. A few minutes before she passed.

[@jmpond4217]

Thank you for your video. We lost are precious 13 year old Samoyed last week and I just can't get over that I'll never see her physically again. She was my whole life.

[@TheBostonhibiscus]

Sitting here waiting for our goodbye appt and this video was so special. Thank you! Lap of Love is amazing. Thank you for all you do! It means so much!

[@sewillowpatterns]

Thank you for this video. I have watched this twice - once before we made the decision to say goodbye and again now just over a week after saying goodbye for reassurance. Our 10 year-old mixed breed rescue had scapular Osteocarsoma and even on multiple pain medications he was limping and unable to find comfort lying down by the end - he also stopped playing with his favourite toy - his frisbee. As a result of watching this, we took our boy for lunch with his grandparents the day before, and then in the morning we took him to see his friends, and for a swim in his favourite stream. It was a sunny day (he loved the sunshine) and we sat in the garden where he licked the bottom of my hot chocolate mug when the vet came to our home. My heart is absolutely broken, and I still have had my doubts about whether it was too soon - but it was a good day and we told him we loved him. And for that I am grateful. Thank you again.

[@roberthold6365]

Thank you so much for all of the videos on this channel-so helpful and compassionate! We used Lap of Love services and everyone was amazing! So grateful for Lap of Love!

[@jjbinderr]

The Doctor who came in, checked over our girl to make sure it wasn’t something treatable. She confirmed that we were doing the right thing.

[@fog1238]

Thank you for this. My father passed away recently on a good day and I've become determined that our cat should have the same gift. We have to make the decision within the next week or so and while my heart breaks I am taking comfort in knowing that I'm stealing the bad days from her. This video was exactly what I needed to see.

[@Lukesmommy]

Saying goodbye to your beloved pet in an ER is not the worst thing that could happen. Them dying alone is the worst thing that can happen. Unfortunately I had to bring my pet to the vet ER but he died on my lap wrapped in blankets covered in kisses.

[@andreabushnell4394]

Thank you. Struggling with the "when" to say goodbye to our sweetest boy. 😢

[@adammfanning3654]

It is 10 months since My Sweet Emma passed. We had ten months of anticipatory grief, with walks several times a nigh due to her kidney failure. She was euthanized at the end when the time was right. She was loved by many and 25:15 was given a proper funeral that was attended by so many of the family and friends that loved her so much.

[@BunnyandMoon]

Hi, idk if you’ll see this or if I’ll even remember to check but my cat has kidney failure too and I wanted to ask if you’re okay with sharing what sort of condition Emma was in when you made the choice. I’m in the rollercoaster now and I’m getting dizzy going in these circles. Some days are good, ordinary, some are not. I’d value your story because I’m a bit delusional I fear. I know your Emma is resting peacefully.

[@squishysirenita]

So grateful to your video🙏 watched it a few times to get me in the right head space, mentally and emotionally. Just helped my 15 yr old daschund cross the rainbow bridge🌈 at home, with family, on a good day. I appreciate you holding my hand through this. Gracias por existir❤ Thank you for existing❤

[@finnajane]

Thank you - your videos have been very helpful. In this video, you touched on a lot of emotions I’ve been experiencing. We had Lap of Love come to our house 2 ½ weeks ago to send our kitty to the rainbow bridge. I saw our cat “rally” by running up the cat “wall shelves” that we had for her. She hadn’t done that in a long time. I was shocked and in disbelief. Not too long after that, she started the decline. I’ve been utterly devastated losing her. I still fill her water bowls. I’m sure one day I’ll heal enough to donate her items to the local shelter. We did get to say goodbye on a good day for her. I waited too long in the past with my other kitties…..some to the point of having to go to the emergency pet hospital at 1 am.

[@kayvee2262]

Really helpful video - 💚 to Duncan and his super strong and loving humom! I scrolled through the thread looking for the bucket list and other links the vid. said would be here but I'm not finding them. Are they in your socials or something?

[@deborahwoolridge5366]

so helpful....crying as i write my boy,,boxer,pitt,bullmastiff rotty, is 12and half suffering from kidney problems, ive been hanging on for selfish reasons, thank you for helping me see....

[@jazznbluessinger]

Thank you so much for posting this! I have a 19 year old cat that I am really coming to grips with going to have to let her go. And you're right there are good days and bad days so I don't feel like it's time to let her go yet. But like you I am actually getting ready to leave on a trip for 9 days and I have a girlfriend coming to stay with her but boy oh boy would I hate for this to have to be a decision that I have to make while I'm gone nor would I want my friend to have to go through it with my cat . I reached out to lap of love because of your video today and definitely did some anticipatory crying while listening.... it's close. I know it is. And it's going to be so hard! 😢

[@Elienguitar]

Thank you for this video. I just put my 13.9year old buddy yesterday. Lotsa regret. I have one more left who is having a lot of bad days. Time for his bucket list and make his last moment as great as they can be.

[@sharonsanmiguel2304]

Thank you for this video. After watching this video and also losing my father earlier this year in a way that followed his wishes where it was a good day for him, I realize I want the same for my dog Chloe. I'll write up her bucket list and live in the moment as we share together her list. And I'll remember that I'm taking away more bad days coming up by saying goodbye on hopefully a good day. Chloe has been my sweet, gentle companion for 15 years. Thank you Lap of Love for your compassionate understanding ❤‍🩹

[@SheriBrown-m3o]

Been going through alot of these videos. I cry because it’s hard. Just started on our journey. Not sure how long my doxie has, she’s almost 16, but the decision will come…❤

[@aiko17deskedo25]

just 12hrs ago so much a lot of pain😢

[@MitchGrooms]

Thank you. I have used your company 2 times..

[@adammfanning3654]

Thank you so much. I view this frequently- you are so sweet and helpful.

[@KayHuddle-j3c]

Thank you for these videos!!!🫶❤

[@nutmaegspiceandeverythingnice]

Thank you ❤

[@leahnaomi322]

Thank you tons for this! Very helpful & comforting

[@albrightfs]

Thank you for this.......

[@cutemoos8738]

Thank you for this.

[@luckyyarnall2009]

I just had to put my dog down today he had stage 4 kidney failure it was hard thing to do