How to Set & Enforce Boundaries w/ Covert Narcissists

Рет қаралды 4,058

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 21

@taliajournee212 2 ай бұрын

Going through this right now with a family member. What I find incredible is everyone says 'family first' or 'blood is thicker than water'. When you have a family member that you have to ask to not be disrespectful to you -- it's actually insane. The fact that a stranger sitting in a coffee shop shows more respect for you than a family member is CRAZY. I encourage anyone going through this, especially with family, love and strength. Do not let ANYONE drag you down.

@QuinnPrice 2 ай бұрын

It's next to impossible to set boundaries with coverts because they have such a strong desire for control. When you are clear and assertive with them, you'll be villainized, but you can navigate that.

@JeepTJay6 2 ай бұрын

Yup. Once I started setting boundaries and sticking to them my wife began going out of her way to alienate me and shut me out of family events and get togethers. She also purposely fills up our daughter’s schedule with all sorts of extra curricular activities to make it harder for me to spend quality time with her. I know my boundaries are driving her crazy because she constantly complains about how “unreasonable” I have become. It’s like my boundaries are living rent free in her head. She’s absolutely consumed with finding ways around them to the point where she’s become bitter towards me. I know the marriage is done at this point but I’m trying to stick around for my daughter’s sake. It’s a mess. 😢

@gerardolopez2575 2 ай бұрын

@@JeepTJay6that’s similar to what happened to me, I recommend to make sure to have certain things as evidence in case she does something more extreme like accuse you of something legally. Text messages, recordings, anything that’ll show her true nature.

@JeepTJay6 2 ай бұрын

@ I’m 2 steps ahead of you. I have literally hours of recordings of her acting a fool. Even one of her threatening to call the police on me for stopping her screaming at my daughter.

@maxwellmiller7 2 ай бұрын

This is especially difficult when they are your mom and you still live with them.

@nnglnd 2 ай бұрын

The only winning move is not to play . Once you figure them out there is no going back.

@Puppylove82-gv3gm 2 ай бұрын

Gosh, I'm going through this mess with my mother inlaw. We had to sit her down and talk with her 2 weeks ago because she just flies right over our boundaries. She literally got up, stomped her feet like a child and cried harder than anyone Ive seen at a funeral and stormed out the door. Woman needs some serious help. We were even sitting down and calmly but firmly telling her what we didnt appreciate what she was doing and we felt disrespected. She a few days later text my husband that we humiliated her and we would NOT do that again and she doesn't like being told when she's doing something wrong. Lol ummm......yeah, my boundary is now I don't go around her without my husband. She will not guilt trip me and manipulate me anymore. Funny how she's different around me, by myself. Lost her mind trying to guilt trip me over my son. We stay away from you because you are outta control!

@ginaofficer2595 Ай бұрын

I am in a very difficult 24-7 caregiving situation, and I can only describe it as being locked in a cage with a boa constrictor. It is bad enough dealing with a narcissistic person, but add an illness or injury where their freedom is threatened, loss of a spouse, and they are becoming elderly and in need of assistance, and you see some narcissistic tendencies with your adult kids, it adds a whole new level to the battle. The cries, meltdowns, and manipulation etc is exhausting. I was told she IS in control and in charge. I realized my needs do not matter at all not to her or her enablers. She made a threat that has tied my hands for at least now. I talked to my grief counselor and was told I have been shoved in a difficult corner, and the leash is getting tighter. The child in me wants to run away, and her enablers are not helping to loosen the leash. When I'm exhausted and beginning to feel physically sick, it seems like it is harder to remain calm and not give into the triggers, causing me to not like myself and feeling like I'm going crazy. Or, I become like a turtle around others because my stress levels are overflowing, and I am running on fumes. You feel like your oxygen mask has been taken away from you. You try to explain the situation to others, and it falls onto deaf ears or it is invalidated. What triggers the frustration is there is NO TALKING to her. She interrupts, cuts me off, changes the subject, lies etc. Like when a hard of hearing person turns up the volume of the TV, I find myself tempted to turn up the volume in my exhaustion and frustration because I just want to be heard and then kicking myself because I remember who and what I am dealing with and it feels like fighting a spider web. When I do hold my own and she thinks she is losing control, then comes the love bombing. Do you have some techniques as to how to put the wisdom into practice. How do you find the calm in the midst of the engagement? How do you turn off the emotions and stonewall (?) So you don't give them anymore power? I think it doesn't help when you realize you are in the middle of unprocessed grief, unable to do self-care, no support, and due to past trauma caught in fight, flight, & freeze mode. It isn't your imagination because you have been living it.

@meeeeves Ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you, I hope you can escape one day

@ThinkPeace3 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Michelle. This video in particular was very helpful for me and I'm grateful for your information.

@JohnBarrylizard Ай бұрын

I had to cut my dad out of my life in 2019 because he is a toxic narcissist. He villainized me to the family, even though they know what he is like. To one side he plays the role of the kindly victimized doctor, but to me he, and some others, he was pure evil. He had no interest in me but sent all kinds of people to try to get me back because he wanted his whipping dog back. Without me there, another will be victimized.

@tonybolakowski6076 2 ай бұрын

Hi Michele. Great video.

@naveedrehman2987 2 ай бұрын

You can’t set boundaries with manipulators only avoid them.

@jennifermarlow. 2 ай бұрын

Outstanding! When you started talking about "the topic", I busted out laughing. That was so real.

@stylist62 Ай бұрын

If it’s a covert spouse it is impossible to set boundaries with covert narcissist, they get evil cruel vindictive steal cheat they take everything that hurts you and torture you, I had to tell him go. Almost cost my life the trauma 😢🙏🥰

@doranvee5944 Ай бұрын

Coverts always have an ulterior motive, but they sell (manipulate) you to believe another reason.

@chocolatecookie8571 Күн бұрын

If your potential partner demands from you to throw away belongings of your ex-partner to prove to her that you love her then you dealing with a red flag person.