I know that this is quite the jump but I want to bring it up because it's become so popular - New Age spirituality and it's similarities/overlap with covert narcissism. The narrative typically goes like this: "Earth is a school, life is a beautiful gift. We are here to complete missions, to grow through our pain and suffering, play out our roles, pay off karmic debt, ascend to the next level or the next dimension, and raise our vibration. You chose this existence. All the good and bad experiences are your fault and it was your choice, etc, etc. You signed a soul contract , you have free will, therefore this reality is all your own doing. If you complain about your hardships or challenges you are playing the victim and you are in a low vibrational state" See how similar all of this is to the way a narcissist treats you and manipulates you into accepting abuse? Narcissists will attempt to convince their victims that they aren't being mistreated OR that they deserve the mistreatment or brought it upon themselves. They may also try convincing you that abuse and harsh judgement and such are beneficial to your personal growth and will toughen you up. They want you coming back to them again and again the same way the new age movement wants you accepting these painful lives on Earth and reincarnating here again and again and again. Just something to think about if you've gone down this new age path at all because I have, and even though I bought into it for some time and spent years working my way through it, I eventually saw how insanely similar it all was to narcissistic abuse. I could go on and on about how they mirror each other but I don't want to ramble too much.
@taylorcusimano4232 сағат бұрын
What is the emotion that drives me to wondering? Confusion 😭😮💨 it definitely feels like I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years. He checks every box as far as behavior and predictability goes with the cycle he goes thru with me every month or so. He’s gone to jail over his abuse with me. So no doubt that he’s got that disorder or some other type of disorder. And at this point I wonder if it’s just a combo of both of us. I was raised in an abusive environment by grandparents, and then dad would get me for visits and tell me I was the most beautiful and amazing person on earth. So the back and forth makes me feel like I could 100% have narcissistic tendencies.. and could have some of my own things I need to work on.
@taylorcusimano4232 сағат бұрын
When good things happen for him I’m undying-ly positive about it. Even if he does something great that I may consider mundane I praise him to a very high degree because i guess that’s what my father did to me.. and that’s where I get that from? Plus I just want him to be happy and that’s one of the only things I can do to emit positivity from him 😅😂
@taylorcusimano4232 сағат бұрын
Reactive abuse has occurred within this relationship but I clocked that over a year ago and learned not to react. Now when he goes into the rages and flips a switch I try to emotionally regulate him, tell him that behavior is not okay and to reach out to me when he has calmed down. I never demand an apology because it’s impossible to get one from him.. I just stopped prioritizing if he regretted his behavior and started prioritizing my safety and wellbeing instead? 😭😅
@taylorcusimano4232 сағат бұрын
Ugh the more I type the more I am de-convincing myself that I may also be a narcissist. lol but i still think me coming from an abusive dynamic myself growing up has contributed to some of what’s gone down. Or at least the way I’ve reacted to it at times.
@taylorcusimano4232 сағат бұрын
I think regardless of being in this relationship or out of this relationship I’ve got A LOT of introspection and therapy to do. We have a son together so he will always be in my life. Forever. The most I can do is work on myself because the better my mental health is the better and stronger I will be at managing him, myself and protecting our son going forward.
@patricktotten97124 сағат бұрын
Hi Michelle. I have recently started listening to you and it has changed my life. I am in the middle of a horrible situation. I am still in it. I have never heard someone describe what’s going on with me so perfectly. I feel so alone. Could you contact me? I will pay whatever it takes. I think you can help me. I have been trying to get in touch with you but I don’t know how.
@Subllama5 сағат бұрын
Its hard to do anything atm bc im living at home as a university student. I’m trying to hang on but I want to leave so bad. The control and abuse has gotten to an all time high. It’s suffocating, it took me years to realize I was being brainwashed to think like her. It opened my eyes to alot and as an adult (22 young adult) i cant even go out, meet people, without being treated like a child and not as an adult that knows better and can do as she wants.
@marika94607 сағат бұрын
Thank you Michelle for this explanation on the transformation that happens within when you reach a point that you do not react to their actions, not just grey rock. I started doing this since I understood about narcissism and I feel very empowered, more of myself, being able to stand separate in my own body, in my own truth. It was scary at first but you have explained its exactly how I felt.
@AsiaLong-z2h8 сағат бұрын
Right omg
@naveedrehman29879 сағат бұрын
After being with the narcissist I prefer being alone. I’m so happy being alone.
@mojovisualstorytellers76369 сағат бұрын
Thank you so much Michele, I've just been through another cycle of Narcisstic abuse and your words helped me so much. Thank youuuuuuuu
@NarcissistHex-nf9eq9 сағат бұрын
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, I should cover this on my channel LOL. But for me I watch these videos just to make sure the information is correct and believe it or not I can learn some things from this channel too, even though I know a lot about my disorder ,I always feel like I don't know enough. Me personally ,my only intention of being here is to try to learn things ,that's all..And it's for my own self discovery in my own Awakening.
@kayykayy686910 сағат бұрын
I love this video great points
@matthewwakeling497810 сағат бұрын
I disagree. I only realised that my hopefully soon to be ex wife was narcissistic specifically because she was watching hundreds of videos on narcissism, and using it to make a case for how *everyone* we ever met was narcissistic, horrible (whenever they disagreed with her in any way), and out to hurt her. I believe covert narcissists watch narcissism videos to self-delude themselves, by explaining away all those times that people disagree with them and to reinforce the internal message that they themselves cannot be the problem.
@AllanI337413 сағат бұрын
8:12 you help phycopaths further thier game by calling them narcissists, that's why they watch your channel.!❤ "thier kind words" that's phycopathy (lies) not self grandiosity!!
@floralgreen80115 сағат бұрын
thank you for this. the visuals are really helpful in actualizing facts.
@SerenaWilling-c9f16 сағат бұрын
I really thought I was going mad , I didn’t understand what was going on , until I left him it , clarity came and I found these channels I understand exactly what was happening it’s mind blowing.
@ASiteSee16 сағат бұрын
This is exactly what I need people around me to see. I fit all those traits, and it just drives people away. I can't just "let go" of my traumatic past. I need to break the trauma chain that's been holding me all these years. I do see a counselor, which has helped tremendously. So at least I've come this far.😊
@kpf201418 сағат бұрын
Yep. They mutate just like predatory viruses.
@jamie538820 сағат бұрын
LMAO, I am waiting for the video titled "Why Covert Narcissists Are Making Videos About Narcissists That Are Watching Videos About Narcissists"... The rabbit hole is getting really deep with the whole narcissists thing. Maybe just ditch the control freak a-holes from your life and move on. It's a KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) thing. All great philosophers would agree. NEVER LET A NARCISSIST RENT SPACE IN YOUR HEAD FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF FREE!
@NarcissistHex-nf9eq9 сағат бұрын
Yeah that's what I'm going to do on my channel! I'm going to make a video "why covert narcissist are making videos about narcissists that are watching videos about narcissist" LOL
@PrettyMamaPatchwork20 сағат бұрын
I could care less what they do. Here's a quarter. Call someone who cares.
@DelusionDispeller20 сағат бұрын
Thought the "friend" had borderline personality disorder but when my husband and I looked up traits of a female narcissist, she had 10.out of 14!
@HoangKimPham-f9x20 сағат бұрын
Love them all but not that portion ❤
@vicknairfirm21 сағат бұрын
I subscribed because this lady is so pretty.
@Mattheus21722 сағат бұрын
One of my favorite phrases that I’ve heard you say in your videos is this: “I didn’t create it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” I wasted many years trying to figure out what the heck was going on with my prior marriage and why she acted in the way she did and talked to me like she did. I was running in circles and looking for ways to change or to do things better and didn’t realize the more sinister undertones of these types of interactions .
@codyshepp7432Күн бұрын
this is spot on....
@FebzxozezКүн бұрын
Miss universe xoxozez
@rainbeau9752Күн бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤ so we’ll explained
@adamslosar5574Күн бұрын
divorce, after you completed at least 6 -12 months extreme therapy during that same time you make record of all your finances and start journaling once your therapist and you are strong enough -file for divorce and immediate no contact. today.
@davidcoupal8083Күн бұрын
Now if they want supply they just start a utube channel
@tiempoparahablarКүн бұрын
This is very true. When my husband realized I no longer wanted anything to do with him, he changed tactics. He's using new things to manipulate me again.
@willieboy4uКүн бұрын
Ya'll would put the narcissist label on Roger Rabbit. OMFG 🤣🤣🤣
@NuvoVisionКүн бұрын
Plot twist.... "narcissist" is just a term to pull in views from the muppet public that is too influencable. (I know...that's really "mean") Sorry...but its true. Also....might be a case that all these gurus talking about narcissists....are narcissists (or professional sheep) wearing "im helping you" masks. It's always the other guy/girls fault....it's never you!! How good must that fee!? Don't get me wrong- im.sure your ex is an A hole and you should run from him...buuuut, Ever wonder why that term just popped out of nowhere and now it's all the rage?! It feeds the ego... just like everything sold these days. Look...I would LOVE for everyone in a bad relationship to GTFO and get healthy and strong and independent....but this constant humping of the word narcissist (by "influencers") is just the latest grift by the people that know they can sell something (ideas included) to needy people. (Save the predictable, brainwashed "this comment if from a narcissist" ...let me guess, you really want to throw the bonus hot term "gaslighting" in your assessment of me😂) You're still getting played people....but its not by me. The only way to toughen up is to do it yourself from the inside.....hyper focusing on a lable the psych industry feeds you about your ex isn't helping you
@JessG_20Сағат бұрын
Yes, there are lots of internet gurus and people in general talking about and taking advantage of this trendy topic. Many who are actually the narcissists themselves. Though 'narcissist ' has become an overused term that people will apply to anyone they aren't getting along with, it's still a real thing. But it's similar to how 'racist' and 'transphobe' have lost a lot of their meaning because the woke mob just throw these terms around constantly. That said, there are abusive, narcissistic people out there mistreating others. There are key ways of identifying them and their tactics. Some of these channels are a helpful tool. The way your comment comes across is questionable. On a channel and a video like this one , it probably will have a lot of people looking at it like: 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐 you could have worded it better, it's clear you have some awareness of it coming across as holier than thou, but you're not wrong with many of your points it's just your delivery needs work.
@NuvoVisionСағат бұрын
@JessG_20 "morally superior"?!?!....relax. 🤦♂️
@NuvoVisionСағат бұрын
@JessG_20 your delivery was very smooth...ill that into consideration
@stranger8449Күн бұрын
i have been in survival mode for 22 years. I don't know what its like just to be me.
@777PattieКүн бұрын
Self entitled thinking the universe🌌 revolves around him👹 & everyone has to acquiesce to his needs 🙄.
@rturney6376Күн бұрын
Great 👍 analogy - car 🚗 with paint job! ❤
@PenninkJacobКүн бұрын
🤯OMG!!! thank you so much👍👍👍👍❤
@rebekahlopiccolo629Күн бұрын
All 20... and then some. 😢
@FebzxozezКүн бұрын
8❤
@lostincredulity5369Күн бұрын
Also because they love to play the victim.
@bird2428Күн бұрын
I am in this abuse for 23 years. The laugh thing you mentioned is so true. I cannot laugh at any comedy shows because I am scared sometimes what will if something bad happens when I laugh now. I feel so insecure when I go out. I will be waiting when I will be back home and in my room. My space. I used to be so social. Liked to be among people. I used to love gathering. I was waiting for festivals to see friends and family. But now I hate all this.
@Puppylove82-gv3gmКүн бұрын
I've been watching them because I've listened to my bro scream that my mom is a narcissist for the past 20 years and yes she is bad but now I watch them because my mother inlaw has screamed that her ex husband is a narcissist for the last 8 years. Do I believe they have traits, absolutely, they've both affected me. But my mother inlaw.....everything she says about my father inlaw, she's becoming. My husband and I had to sit her down and talk to her the other day and she literally started crying harder than I've seen anyone cry at a funeral and got mad and stormed out. It was a pure toddler temper tantrum and our camera outside picked up her whailing outside to her car. Pure embarrassed for my neighbors. Now I'm wondering if she's the actual problem. She's even tried to manipulate me into bringing my son to her house when I didn't feel like going. Like guilt tripping me by sending me pictures of things she's bought my son amd saying, "look what I got him. Spent all morning putting it together, come on over!!" After me saying, not today, I'm not feeling well! I felt like I was going crazy with both my mom and my inlaws so I threw myself into therapy. My mother inlaw would also call and stay on the phone with my father inlaaw for hours even when she claimed she despised that man!!! Yes, they divorced years ago. It was like she got me to trust her and vent to her about my problems and would run back and tell him. I've never seen such a mess!!!! Have mercy, everything got so much worse when we had the 1st grandchild. These people have lost their minds!! Also to add, is that what triangulation is. Like her telling me how much she hates the father inlaw but the calls him. Birthday parties she practically sits in his lap...like she's obsessed...but tells me differently. He's even with the woman he cheated on her with. What is going on!!!!!!!!
@SumSolutionsco19 сағат бұрын
The ones who scream narc are usually the narc. That’s just my experience. I didn’t even know what the word was until about 2 years ago, I then started to do more research. The person who said narc, was most likely in fact the narc. Over time I realized that they like projecting what they actually do, on to you. It’s a good way for them to have control of your mind. A good example is and this has happened to me personally, the narc asked to check my phone bc she thought I was cheating. Turns out, it was her, and she needed to do something to cover her tracks. It’s almost like they put feelers out there here and there and you slowly start figuring out what’s going on as the mask slips. It’s advised just to have minimal or no communication at all once you start to see a lot of the off things they do.
@Puppylove82-gv3gm19 сағат бұрын
@SumSolutionsco I'm going to have to stay away. After the last fiasco when she tried to guilt trip me into going to her house because she bought my son something, I said no more visits to her without my husband. She never pulls this kind of crap with him and I wasn't getting involved with her talking crap about the father inlaw anymore and I don't think she can handle it that I've figured her manipulation out. No more! If you run away screaming from a civilized conversation when someone is trying to tell you how they feel, something is wrong with you!!!
@SumSolutionsco19 сағат бұрын
@@Puppylove82-gv3gm that’s probably the smartest move. I can’t imagine what it’s like when there’s kids involved as well. I’m sorry to hear you’re going thru this.
@alexadellastella5247Күн бұрын
covert narcissism is an epidemic really! They just pretend to be the good saviour and saints also using fake humility by using the trendy sentences like "i don't judge", "let's just love each other", "we should always forgive", "if you haven't forgiven yet, no wonder you are not feeling good", "everybody has his own truth", "we should tolerate evrybody no matter what", "everybody makes mistake" and so on..... when I hear these sentences I roll my eyes and run away....
@CamStubbsКүн бұрын
You missed the mark with this one
@Mike-e2dКүн бұрын
I have broken meck seizures my sister killed herself no help from him major move alone with him uncle died i camt leave house now he blamed it on me
@Mike-e2dКүн бұрын
10:56 exactly
@Mike-e2dКүн бұрын
Feel bad
@Mike-e2dКүн бұрын
I out its hard i changed
@Mike-e2dКүн бұрын
Im just learning about this i get physically ill try figure out i 😢😢😢😢 i didnt trust my own self
@mayLss-u9tКүн бұрын
Shame is source of information about our self that has not been not understood
@KleeKaiPuppiesКүн бұрын
Excellent video and helpful. Thank you.
@InnocentSoul-oc2ylКүн бұрын
True they watch videos and getting smarter to increase their abuse
@halemedeiros5908Күн бұрын
I’m not enumerating which signs I feel apply to me because I felt like they all did. I am so grateful for your video and that I can continue to learn about this topic because it is so complex. I am now better appreciating that even though I’ve exited/escaped the relationship I’ve only really just begun processing and recovery. I’m still exhausted. I still feel like I’ve forgotten who I am or lost myself. I was upbeat, positive, joyful when I met her. So I have a lot of work to do, learning to do, reclaiming myself and rebuilding my identity. I can’t even seriously consider the possibility of starting a new relationship because I presently associate such anxiety, rejection, disapproval, disconnection, miscommunication, confusion, and disappointment with relationships. On a positive note I’ve learned so much, perhaps it would take this experience to wake me up to really look at myself and others more closely. I really want to enjoy the power of being single and free. I don’t want to get into another relationship where I become a helper, servant, protector, and live off occasional scraps thrown from the much sought after table of “love”.