how to stop being a victim | mindset shifts to take control of your life & cut out the BS!

[@sunshine-zk1vq]

Girl your timing is so insane. I was falling back into the victim mindset and here you go...Thank you so much for this video.

[@SaronMulugeta-iz6ro]

Omg yes ur so right

[@arinhe8654]

Sameeeee

[@Akshin27]

This was my first school day for senior year and i felt like I'm going to have a bad year again but after watching this i thought why do i let people to treat me like that? So from tomorrow i promise myself not to feel like a victim again 💪💪💪

[@fiona_jis_nnie_ose_isa_8816.]

I used to blame my family that i'm not productive and that they judge me for every thing i do and that they say (it's just a waste of time) but now i ignore them and i do what i think is good for because i know we all don't have the same opinions

[@Sharanx01]

omg same girl 💅🏽🤧

[@LatelengNDance]

Well done, I used to be the same girl now full control of life it's on me.

[@fiona_jis_nnie_ose_isa_8816.]

@@LatelengNDance I am so happy for you!

[@Halima-l8d]

I relate to this so much and I have a better mindset now

[@fiona_jis_nnie_ose_isa_8816.]

@@Halima-l8d This greatly increases my hope, thank you.

[@butlerka2606]

I am 39 years old and this video was so on time today😩 The main character analogy really helped to put things into perspective for me. I would literally be screaming at the Tv if a character I liked was just sitting there doing nothing, not making any progress in life as though someone was holding them back. I would be so mad at them and want them to know how much power they actually had. I don’t feel like I have that kind of power, but you showed me that I do. Thank you so much, Tam!!!!

[@cleanloofah]

So random but I hate when people make fun of KZbinrs and content creators. People don’t understand how much work and effort it takes to make videos like these. People don’t understand that these videos literally enhance individuals mindset’s and ultimately change lives. Big Thanks to Tam for making these videos. Keep putting in that hard work girl!💯✨

[@raya7390]

yesss and I don't understand how youtubers deals with negative comment or cyberbully like wow ...if someone/ stranger call me anything I would still think abt that for weeks lol

[@breeaireal]

I’m so proud of anyone working towards growth. You got this!

[@AmritaMishraPerformances]

The "main character in the movie" thing is something I used to do child a child, feeling and acting like there's a camera following me and I'm a star in that series/movie. Good times! gotta bring that element back into my life 😁

[@Cherr3278]

Please ,please, please also make a video on how to stop being toxic to your family..eg. constantly criticising ,passing negative comments, blaming them,overstepping their boundaries etc.. I don't want to be like this anymore.

[@selina4908]

Something you can already be proud of is you not wanting that identity anymore. You are aware of it and you‘re trying to find ways to be better! At the end of the day these kind of behaviours don‘t serve US. Ask yourself where these behaviours are rooted. You might have a reason because of things that happened to you in the past. Adress the cause, but don‘t blame others neither yourself. Just soak it in but then let it go. You couldn‘t control some outcomes or circumstances in your life (or from your childhood), but not you have the power to control your mind and behave differently. Start with positive affirmations saying: „I am in control of my behavior“, „I don‘t react“, „I am balanced“ … Whatever would give you more strength:) also journaling is amazing! keep your milestones in your journal but also your up‘s and down‘s, we are human beings with emotions, sometimes it might feel like a roller coaster but you‘ll get there❤ Change is hard/uncomfortable, but growth is rewarding!

[@soiloveme9441]

Why is her voice so firm today❤

[@itsmariam597]

Yeah it's different

[@Sevisingh17]

Your Book is so comforting. It's like I am sitting right beside you in your new home living room, and you are telling me all those things so patiently, and I'm overwhelmed because I am with you, and you are teaching me all those things like you really, really love me and care about me! It's so heartwarming. Thank you, Tam!! I love you❤️

[@gardenia166]

she's sooo prettyy, i love this hairstyle on her and the jewelryy!!!!!

[@NicoleReign]

While I don’t particularly like the term “victim mindset” as I find it incredibly dismissive of real world issues like systemic oppression, prejudice, class/poverty, etc. All of these things are incredibly traumatic to the human psyche. Despite ALLL of that, I think it can be an incredibly powerful concept and tool for healing. It just takes a bit of understanding nuance: while you may have been victimized in your life, you still have the power and the right to live and thrive despite any awful things that have been done to you.

[@ChrisGaultHealthyLiving]

Love this, Tam! We can't live our desired lives if we put them in other people's hands. We have to take control of our own happiness & success! Awesome tips! Keep being your awesome self!

[@emy6822]

so glad i escaped this mindset when i became an adult! i hold myself accountable!

[@avocadosalad14]

TAM STOP BEING SUCH A MIND READER.. I needed this video 🥲

[@nehaved5309]

i am not even kidding she literally just knows us so well coz i needed this so much rnn😭

[@mebakyabum4032]

Cutting the why me and replace it with gratitude thank you

[@_pizza2465]

Hi Tam! I just wanted to say that I realized that I was in the victim mentality a long time ago. I was waiting for the right video, and here it is! I really recognized myself here. I felt so validated when you said that it took you years to get out of this mindset, because I was getting frustrated with my progress and feeling like I was going too slow. I’m going to try asking ‘what is next?’ to myself and questioning the ‘Why me?’ narrative. And later I’ll do the visualization technique (I find it difficult to do it consistently, haha). Thank you so much for this video! It was really helpful. I think the new aesthetic is great by the way, and I love how you kept the same music in the outro that you always did because it took me back to last year when I first started watching your videos. Anyways, to whoever is reading this, I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you have a wonderful life ahead of you! I know that it is possible for all of us, we just need to take the steps to MAKE it happen. Bye for now!

[@sriya7640]

she’s my hero 😭 needed this video ig

[@riddhiyaps]

Video Takeaways / Lessons: Shift your mindset from victimhood to empowerment by taking accountability, recognizing your power, and embracing challenges as growth opportunities. Highlights 🌟 Recognize victim mentality by blaming others for your situation. 🧠 Change your language to empower yourself during tough times. 🚀 Focus on “what’s next” instead of asking “why me.” 🎭 Visualize your ideal self to shift your identity. ✨ Take accountability for your role in life’s challenges. 📖 Create a victory log to celebrate daily achievements. 🙏 Shift from “why me” to gratitude for lessons learned. Key Insights 💡 Blame vs. Accountability: Acknowledging your role in situations fosters growth. Stop blaming others and take ownership to change your narrative. 🔄 Empowering Language: The words you choose shape your reality. Transform negative self-talk into affirmations to attract positive outcomes. 🧭 Future Focus: Asking “what’s next” shifts your mindset from stagnation to proactive growth, empowering you to take action. 🌈 Visualization: Imagining your best self can motivate change. It helps detach from past traumas and inspires a proactive approach to your life. 🎯 Character Switching: Adopt an alter ego that embodies the qualities you aspire to. This mental shift can significantly alter your actions and decisions. 📝 Victory Log: Keeping track of daily wins reinforces a positive mindset, helping you recognize your progress and potential. 🔍 Gratitude in Challenges: Viewing challenges as lessons promotes resilience. Shifting from “why me” to gratitude fosters a growth-oriented mindset.

[@dishabhutada]

I literally just didn't give myself enough credit, because like you said I was consumed by where I need to be, instead of what progress I have made!

[@neelevol]

the timing is crazy , tam knows what we want at what time

[@arbueshelena]

omg. can we talk about how pretty she is??

[@greentea_iceonrice]

Thank you for this masterpiece, it has really affected many of us, leading to look down on ourselves and blaming or criticising. But this actually made me realise the significance, that it's not a failure but a chance to improve ourselves💜💫

[@starring8847]

homework: 1. do the oppisite actions ( graditude) 2.write down all the vicitories you did 3.challenge why narrative ( what benefits would come from those challenges, what lesson can you learn , how can you use that experience to grown into your dream self)

[@prajnams9036]

going through shit wasn't your fault but not taking responsibility for it will become your fault

[@MaryamQQQ]

Omg tams timing is crazy 😭 ❤

[@bobaxtea4512]

HER OMG>>

[@craystalsquad7154]

shes so motivational i love her🤧

[@nongnoc267]

3:22 signs 3:30 #1 5:10 #2 6:32 mindset 6:45 #1 7:46 #2 10:12 #3 12:31 homework

[@EliraAkimbaeva]

Tam, I just want to thank You from the heart, I am so greatful for you helping us! You are amazing, God bless your heart❤️🫶

[@4ngelicBrookie]

Omg your hair style, makeup, skin, is so gorgeous!!! Idk if this is a weird compliment but you have such cute ears!!

[@tamkaur]

Oh thank you!🤣

[@kimwonnie803]

thank youu, lots of school stuff is really making me feel like an academic victim right now- but thanks to you!!!

[@ThePervinca99]

Amazing video and I looooove the subtitles. They're so much better than youtube auto generated ones and they make the video easier to follow❤

[@444dlvatnce]

tam, your lessons are always on time. i'm about to face a new, massive challenge that will affect me and my family but i remembered that everything that happens to me, only happens FOR ME. then i ran and watched this video which just solidifies that belief. treat challenges as your friends, as road signs that leads you to the right path. and you'll never be a victim again. thanks, tam! ily girl ❤

[@rebecca.T-620]

feel grateful to all the challenges! that's it girl

[@Tiffany-123w]

I luv when u use Lola and Athena as examples 🤭🎀

[@Sharanx01]

Hey Tam, i just bought your book recently and I've just read the introduction (cause I have exams going on) and istg I'm already tempted to finish the entire book in a day (I've done it before with other books lol). thank you so much for passing on your holistic knowledge in a simplified yet comprehensive manner. I'm not only talking about your book but also about all your channels. you are the big sister that I (and many other people) always wanted but never got. thanks once again for everything you are doing. I really hope that you achieve all your goals and we all really love you. plz write more books in the future for nerds like me and never stop posting these wholesome videos, vlogs and podcasts 💗💗💗💗

[@Hirooo_yukii]

I'm still moving forward, I was stuck somewhere but knowledge is always what gets me out, thank you GRL !

[@Des-po7wt]

I really need this, especially today that something happened and I blame it on others even though it's my fault. Thank you.

[@lyricco9523]

TAM i had to pause the video mid way to say this.....YOUR NEW EDITING STYLE IS CRAZY😭🩷 It's like so beautiful and i remembered you talking about in another video how people are copying your editing style and you said you'd just improve yours but i was like there is no way this can get better, BUT IT JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER I FEEL LIKE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS MISSING🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 LOVE YOU SO MUCH TAM, YOU'VE REALLY CHANGED MY LIFE😭🩷🩷

[@leshamininatesan]

Whenever i feel low and stuck i come back to your videos and it gives me a boost of motivation and inspiration to handle it all. Thank you 🥺😊

[@samridhijoshi4035]

Girl!!!! The timing cannot be right. I was thinking about this yesterday only, that I have this mentality and it took me so long to accept this. And i was just cruising through various videos about this issue and you post this today. It's Universe's way of guiding me✨🧿

[@sushmitanaik1577]

I m actually using ur 3rd homework ..and it's been a month now ..I started when I finished watching all ur videos til half of the August month.... Omg I have changed alot...after watching all of ur videos ,how I use is 1.Processing the emotions 1st in private instead venting out. 2.I have seprate journal for every challenge....where I write every detail of the challenge Then I check wt it is triggering me by asking y questions... 3.Lastly I ask all ur last home task questions... Until found solution.. Grateful to you! You changed my life for better and I m not even 1% of my old self now... And it feels so amazing....

[@Emma-Smile_1275]

I literally took NOTES on this bc I’m so done using my trauma as an excuse. You’re so amazing, Tam!😊

[@NoorBashi7]

التخلص من دور الضحية:بعض الناس يستخدمونها كذريعة للركود والبعض الآخر للقوة. 1/انك تلوم الآخرين على ما يحدث في حياتك. *كل ما يمكنني التحكم به هو العقلية التي افكر بها حول هذا الموضوع * ٢/عقلية الضحية هي لغتك/بدلا من قول اوه لا انا وانا وفر البروانة.. لا قول لازم أمر بهاي التجارب السيئة لكي اكون شخص افضل واقوى واصلب. واكون النسخة المثالية من نفسي. لذا أرحب بهذه التحديات لأنها جزء لا يتجزأ من رحلة النمو والتطور. خطوات الانتقال من الضحية الي البطل : ١/لا تقل لكل شي ولكل تحدي (why). بدلا من ذلك فكر كيف لي أن لا اعيش هذه التجربة مرة أخرى وهذه الطريقة تشعرك أكثر قوة لانك متحكم أكثر بالواقعية. ٢/تبديل الشخصيات.. تخيل نفسك بعد ٥ سنين انت ناجح ومزدهر تحصلين على اي شي تريدينه تخيل نفسك ليس لديها اي صدمات اي ندم ومزدهر يعيش بكل سعادة. هذا التخيل فعال لانه يقلل من قضاء الوقت في استهلاك نفسك كضحية بدلا من ذلك تفكر بمستقبل أكثر اشراقة ❤. حياتك كتابك اكتبه كيفما تشاء كرواية تراجيدية او كوميدية او درامية!.. واجب منزلي/بدلا من القاء اللوم وعيش دور الضحية اعمل الرد المعاكس وأشعر بكل الامتنان واشكر هاي التجربة الي خلتك تتعلم اشياء واجد والهدف هو توصيل أهدافك بلغتك لاخراجك من نمط الضحية. +سجل كل الانتصارات في دفتر الانتصارات حرفيا كلها مهما كانت صغيرة او كبيرة مهمة او غير مهمة. واقرا الدفتر عندما تحس باليأس... بكل بساطة تتوقع عن عيش دور الضحية عندما تتوقف عن قول لماذا انا!؟

[@AnamIqbal]

LOVEDDD this video! It's SUCH a power move to replace the 'why me!' victim narrative in our minds with trying to understand how each situation we're in can be a learning curve for us and take us one step closer to becoming our DREAM SELF!

[@solarium7887]

I loved this video, I needed it, because lately I slip in victim mindset, and I got a déclic that I did it almost all my life, thanks for this

[@angelinacasucci7749]

Heyy Tam! I am a HUGE fan of your videos. They have helped me improve and continue to improve into the best version of myself. You are my inspiration as the other sister I wish I had ❤️ that’s why I was hoping I you could make a video about a question I have. I grew up in family that viewed boys in a very strict matter, always saying that girls don’t talk to boys, which makes me view them as foreigner and anxiety inducing which most the times even keeps me from having a simple conversation with them. This also leaves me with an over idealization of love without the tools to actually make a connection for myself. It also leads me to think that every possible guy that talks to me has a crush on me and that makes me soo nervous. This isn’t about having a boyfriend-I am only 15 and I’m only focused on bettering myself- (plus I just saw your school tip videos and are following your advice not to date on high school) it’s about being able to make guy friends and not feel shy or inferior.

[@JagaveeVasavada]

YOU GOT THIS GURLLL SAME HEREEE WE BOTH GOT THIS ❤❤

[@KamilahBorg]

Love it TAM! your the person who has helped me get on my self development journey

[@catbeingcurious]

Hi Tam, just want to say that the production quality has gone up so much and it's beautiful! Love the light, colors, background, audio and everything 🥰 Thanks for another helpful video

[@aechanniefer7512]

I am trying to stop having this victim mentality. I blame my family for everything that happened in my life even when it's not their fault. You are a great help thank you.

[@_Priyanaya]

And then she said - wait are you going through it again ..? Wait I'm here let me help you fix it ❤❤❤❤

[@ArunimaMandal15]

Just this morning I was journaling that I have to let go of what happened to me and move forward, coming out of that victim mindset. The timing is just perfect. Thank you Tam❤

[@maya19989]

Timing is crazy (per usual with you) just 2 days ago I had a therapy session and told my therapist that I feel like I’m falling to victim mindset again and here you are a day later

[@riyathakur1884]

Damn. I really needed this rn and that's when i found it! Tam is really the big sister i never knew I needed. She has this insanely strong mindset, and I really look out for her! I wanna have this mindset one day, too. And she'll help us all get there

[@jadenngabriellee]

i usually just listen to your videos in the background, but i couldn't stop staring at the screen this time - the aesthetic is so freakin on point! everything about this video is gorgeous (and of course the advice is amazing, but that goes without saying)

[@Wishinguponadandelion]

Signs 3:22 Mindshifts 6:31 Home work 12:29

[@destiny_hallows8728]

I was sooo down and was complaining about my life rn 😭 and your video Gave me THAT energy

[@Leonardo258thF.A.]

Thank you Tam, for helping people achieve personal success & happiness!

[@Yourgurlaina]

Tam i just want to thank you cause i started feeling confident in my brown skin cause of you , you're a QuEen

[@TumiM04]

She always delivers! I LOVE your background!! 🩷✨

[@sirius796]

The timing is so so so on point ❤ I was literally asking myself "why me??" So many times this week and was looking for guidance on this

[@yamunaaaaa]

Not trying to play the victim, but I often feel like I act pretty dumb. The good thing is, I’m working on improving myself, and that’s how I ended up here.

[@melissasardjo2069]

Same.

[@MantashaParween-hm1je]

Same here 🙌

[@solarium7887]

Same

[@mahita4392]

Girl, I read somewhere that when you want to become strong, you will feel your weakness before you feel your strength. Keep going ✨🔥

[@vii6081]

Same here 😢

[@maryr23]

girlll this makeup look suits you a lot, love it on you 😭❤

[@irast00]

The timing😭😭 I love you so much ❤❤

[@nuhakarzan6306]

I like your new design. It’s so organised and perfect for taking notes about obviously your video because your videos are always useful.

[@THeMUSEee]

Gurll your timing is crazyyyyy

[@Coffee_Gal]

Really needed this pep talk. The video showed up at absolutely the best time! Thanks, Tam ❤

[@burmakara]

there's a book called Hidden Manifestation by Oliver Mercer, and it talks about how using some secret techniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal

[@Jhxj11111]

Do you know how to get a pdf file of this book???

[@xijulian]

@@Jhxj11111this comment is an ad

[@Zenivy-111]

​@@xijulianare u sure? Iam asking for real.. I also wish to get a pdf of that book if it's real

[@jnoun.]

@@Zenivy-111 those types of books promotions are often times in self dev videos. It leads you to download dangerous links and get hacked be careful

[@tavleen_]

I wanted this video from so long , thanks tam ❤ I went on a solo date today and that's my start of loving myself more ❤😊

[@aminahsxoxo]

i sing grace for each moment and oppootunity to hearing and seeing your videos! the positivity and hope visualising is the way i continue to improve my mindset too❤ thank you for the reminder to 'step into a higher self' ❤

[@MissMarissaForman]

I’d love to see a video more on boundaries and how to set them and stick to them!❤

[@PadmajaMukundan]

You are the elder sister i never had tam. i love you so much. thank you !!!!!

[@Honeybadger-e9o]

I'M GLAD I HAVE COME OUT FROM THIS VICTIM MINDSET MENTALITY LAST YEAR , STILL I'M GONNA WATCH THE VIDEO WITH MY EVENING MATCHA 🍵 AS TAM POSTED IT AND I DO NOT MISS HER SINGLE VIDEO

[@snehawadhwani2021]

would love to see an in depth video on healing avoidant attachment style specifically!

[@DiyaDabhi-ti5nh]

I think she has it

[@subhratasen4757]

Hey Tam, thank you for this. I have been feeling low and sorry for myself for quite some days. I have been following your videos and your book is really comforting too ❤ P.S.: Your hair looks great. I am inspired to get curls like that.

[@DiyaDabhi-ti5nh]

Could you make a video on how to stop doing too much for people. Considering fixing their life as your responsibility. Making sure to cheer them up 24/7. Helping them 24/7.

[@katyadi2551]

Omg I really love the new format with all the icons/slides/logos!!!! 💗💗💗💗

[@vicsolimo]

Self-accountability is the key✨️ I would love a video on how to life a soft life and slowdown for working girls that are constantly going and going

[@rhearoy2338]

Hey Tam your videos have been such a comfort to me. You’re actually younger than me but you’ve actually given me so many valuable tips. So thank you ♥️

[@ChristyNhlapo]

I started taking my KZbin channel more seriously and recently hit 1k subscribers that has motivated me to create more, I made a decision to believe in myself❤️ Tam you inspire so many of us, more blessings to you✨❤️

[@ionelamariarus2405]

Thank you for what you do Tam ❤ you inspire me so much everyday. Your work is so important.

[@waniaslibrary]

3 MINSSS????? LOVE U ALWAYS POSTING EXACTLY WHAT I NEED

[@MERJayaShree]

Girl really really needed this. ur timing can’t be any more perfect ❤️❤️

[@lavenderhoney777]

Please make a video on spiritual mindset and spiritual books.

[@leoguy022]

One word: life saviour, thank you!

[@btstankpop]

tam looks soo prettyyy♥♥♥

[@sofiechraskova4284]

This just resonated with me so much! I really needed to hear this video in this moment, thank you Tam for opening our eyes and wanting only the best for us, I just feel it from your every lesson :)

[@simeonowaa5974]

Never falling into the victim mindset again, thank u Tam 💖

[@SID-RIUSLY]

Woahh, Queen is here with yet another amazing video 💅✨

[@SkylarNevaeh]

Love this!! Thank you for sharing this valuable information 🫶✨🌟

[@ShopwithAnny-nv1yv]

THE QUEEN HAS UPLOADED 🎉❤❤

[@Karinaa444]

Tamm your videos always leave me feeling so energised i love them!! Thank youu🎀✨

[@clarablavia8324]

Absolutely love this new type of editing!😍 (pd: thank you for adding subtitles!)

[@BetterTomorrow2512]

This was the first video i watched of yours and honestly it helped me find the problem and part of myself that was missing.... Thank you😊

[@mariamb2009]

The video came at the perfect time. Thank you, Tam ❤❤❤

[@ee44535]

hii tam, in case you read this: i love your videos changed everything and i love them sooooo much, but there's one thing at this point in my life that is keeping me from doing anything for myself (growth, development, self love). And that is alot of 'body dysmorphia' it is basically ruining my life (negative self talk, panic and depression attacks, constant comparison and etc etc) and ive tried so hard to heal but i just can't seem to. Professional help isn't available for me now, and I really would love for you to talk about it, i just know IT WILL HELP ME SO MUCH :)

[@fhvdd5678]

omgg I feel like I am always aligned to self development as I always get recommended right videos at the right time!

[@kristinallysonlim]

Tam, you are literally a legend

[@Soniyasaiyed]

Tam may we please have a video on how to live a happier life with obviously the homework chapter ❤