How To STOP Teachers From Hooking Up With Kids ft. Usama Siddiquee | Chris Distefano | Ep. 142

#ChrisDistefano #Podcast #Comedy
Usama Siddiquee gets in on the Chaos in a conversation that covers EVERYTHING, everything from circumcision preference, prison tok recipes, teachers sleeping with students and a brief recap of Usama's time on America's Got Talent.
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[@kaylamontgomery4091]

But who misses the blue sectional couch in a small NYC apartment with Jazz's spin bike in the background and the occasional clap back from Vin in between uber eats orders? :/

[@MlRAAK]

I do :( I miss the Chaos, I don't want the same freshly painted studio thats used by every other podcast. I want the interruptions and screaming kids and messiness.

[@dc-gs9qx]

Mike Cannon was great on the Tim Dillion Show last week 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@trashbag128]

I love when podcasts end mid sentence!

[@kendallleingang]

Soul douching cry was a great way to end the episode. 😂

[@Benjamin.S.S.]

Wth was that? It just ends abruptly.

[@tbsteez]

This is what happens when you try and replace Pimpy...

[@toonce101]

Last week the audio levels were janky lol

[@TendecaKhan]

The Bobby Lee episode was/is quiet AF and this episode gets cut off....truly some CHAOS!!

[@jac0bh7821]

Please re upload the Bobby episode with better quality volume

[@colbystoneking1222]

Absolutely agree

[@WKRP187]

Did Chrissy invent some kind of time machine?? lol. If it got recorded bad about all you can do is make it the same bad quality audio just louder, isn't it??

[@alexsaucedo4930]

Mike Cannon was on Flagrant’s Patreon episode, Tim Dillon’s pod, and these with Chrissy and he’s hilarious! Keep him! lol

[@cyninin1346]

Love how it cuts off at Mike saying soul douching cry. 😂 I was hoping he would team up with Chrissy!

[@Benjamin.S.S.]

Yay! I can hear it this time. Good job Chrissy.

[@dot_t]

Love Mike Cannon! Happy he is joining you in the Chaos! ❤️✨

[@sarahcotterswank4251]

A soul-douching cry 😅 I’m stealing this phrase!

[@joes6108]

How much time does it take until he mentions intermittent fasting?

[@briangalloway3684]

50 mins

[@saintplayer86]

What did I tell yall babes?! Nothing but Bangers with my guy Mikey C!!!😂💪🏾 Hell yeah and welcome to your official spot!🙌🏾

[@Specialcowgirl69]

This episode made me so happy 😁 it’s been a min since I felt like Chris is really happy and being himself since post homeless pimps exit.❤

[@AlexisHumm-vu8pt]

I NEED to know why homeless pimp left but is still on hey babe????

[@Specialcowgirl69]

@@AlexisHumm-vu8pt I think he said he just didn’t have enough time for personal projects and other things because both took up so much time. Honestly his laugh and contributions to the show is what brought out the best in Chrissy Chaos.

[@MREpicIpodApps]

Damn, comedy podcasting is gonna be different without Nadav and Pimp. Wishing the best for both of them though!

[@brunodanner7777]

It seems like Chrissy's numbers have dropped hugely since Pimpy left...but why?

[@cypresswoods5220]

​@@brunodanner7777they were dropping before he left. Jumped off the sinking ship 😂 Chrissy should have just stayed with Yannis

[@LindsayWilliams-su5md]

Mike is such a great addition to the chaos!

[@maloojisloves6586]

The mid sentence cutoff was so weird! 😂 This was a good episode though, despite the abrupt ending. ❤M

[@NKRomeo]

I miss you and Yannis...

[@3Tacos1coke]

It’s like when KG went to the Celtics lol. My favorite episodes were always with these two. Love you both!

[@spacerace6847]

we need a return of the pimp

[@tbsteez]

Chrissy is back to saying tubberware again 😂

[@lordfordification]

Somehow they managed to get the volume higher than the last episode. Turning on the mics would help. The echo is wild.

[@Kaminoextragalactic]

Tf happened at the end

[@themanwhoknewtoomuch6667]

Usama is smart AF ... no one caught on on the Chamberlain pun

[@KBerry-ug5zx]

I have that same floral H&M hoodie.

[@medusamoss7528]

I think this means u have 2 invite Yannis on tha pod

[@racheldinan]

this is awesome! they have great chemistry

[@lohta773]

Yo that patriotic tinge line was funny as hell

[@bradleyhebert1632]

When is Titi Jerry coming back?

[@JenisELMAN]

Want those glasses! Fire

[@jvillan94]

Still wondering what happened to titi Jerry?? 🤔

[@jessicabodhaine6314]

Yes, a duel! Best idea so far!

[@RustOnWindows]

got Vic’ryan long on the pod

[@JenisELMAN]

Lol I feel like the volume is the highest ever now? Quick fix, as done by a BOSS!

[@giannacargill6096]

LMAOO the Long Island jokeshahahahaha

[@angieglover159]

Why does Chris sound like he has a lisp during the ad read?

[@giannacargill6096]

Obviously I’m commenting while listening, but in 8th grade there was this girl in my French class who used to full blown finger blast herself in class. Hand in pants and everything. It wasn’t every day, maybe once every two months. Fucking wild! No one ever said a word to her but you damn well know we all talked amongst each other.

[@WKRP187]

Did she think she was being sneaky or was people seeing her do it part of her kink you think??

[@RGEF1006]

Did I grow up before the cutoff where most of my teachers were old ladies and middle aged dudes?😂

[@snoogcity]

Perfect rebranding . Mike is great

[@aliciainbloom]

Dude our Chrissy is on fire today and he is looking good

[@BazookaTooth707]

@13:40 A priest is essentially a teacher. Best of both worlds, baby.

[@stoneguy223]

Mike is a good fit for this 🎉🎉

[@mattmorel]

Shout out to Lillie's in Union Square! Charles should be there around, oh... 8:00 / 8:15. @YMHStudios

[@RaDicAL808]

20:03 I caught the reference lol

[@MsBritanie73]

My half Rican Queens made son went to Gallaudet in 2012-13!! He went to play football. Still have the acceptance letter.

[@user-te8dj1jd1n]

Your Chris-tory theme song songs just like the " MoM" sitcom theme song

[@raquelapplegate82]

Yaaay Chrissy!!!! Good morning!

[@Kristybooful]

“Tubberware”

[@darkocebuhar3889]

I thought that he would release a dirty version ep with bobby lee, because previous was so clean you couldn't even hear anything 🤣

[@willz0rz1]

was it supposed to cut off at the end like that?

[@Lalalalala...]

lol it was so sudden 😂

[@heretolaugh8404]

I really ❤ Mikey “Mushrooms” Cannon. Great work on a cohost

[@lilbrod321able]

Bring back HH !!!!

[@shovelface6874]

It’s over boys

[@1AoSd]

Props on the audio, but cutting it short randomly. What’re we doing here

[@WKRP187]

Watching free podcasts on a free channel on a free app.... Quit whining!!

[@1AoSd]

@@WKRP187 smoke my natch

[@terriblepaulsey4904]

So, why is Chris talking with a speech impediment during the ad-reads? He sounds like he's doing a Carol Channing impression.

[@victoriaarmstong322]

lol 😂😂 I have scrolled and scrolled looking for someone to mention the ad reads 😂😂

[@hijinks21]

Did chris so the ad read as Watch the rimming.. When it was watch thr winning come in

[@tanklin4015]

Love the podcast 🔥🙏🙏🙏

[@timmy8808]

Keep Mike, I know he’s got free podcast time now!

[@jond661]

Just end it on soul douching cry? 😅😂

[@showtime1285]

Seems like this guy is doing a impression haha:)

[@berger21488]

i see chris still says tub-o-ware instead of Tupperware

[@mcclure463]

Usama giving an extra %50. 3 halves.

[@Lalalalala...]

Well that was a very sudden end

[@Flaccidass]

Your last episode with Bobby lee still has messed up audio

[@CheechElMexicano]

Chrissy D 🤙🏾🤙🏾🤙🏾🤙🏾🤙🏾

[@Sojj1]

Love Chrissy D

[@sweener88]

Please reupload the Bobby Lee episode with audio fixed!

[@ulisesvazquez7766]

My guy have a super lazy eye lol

[@rawdog9674]

Mike is so great to have on the podcast, so funny. Never heard of usama but he's hilarious too

[@MikeyMooks]

Ending like the sopranos, good job Vito this is why nobody misses pimp !

[@jmaice83616]

I freaking love Mike Cannon! He's a perfect person to do this show with you Chris!!! I love it! I want to see you get high with him as much as you can.

[@mq6389]

Soul douching Cry … The end.

[@giannacargill6096]

LMAOOO

[@DigiFolk]

crissy runs his life like a disney exec

[@LukeNeidig]

Anyone else think Mike looks too young to have grey hair? I can’t figure out if he’s 30 or 50. Distinguished but kinda gay.

[@mattnara4917]

Chrissy you were feeling the stress/pressure of doing this poddy alone? Then why didn’t you just jump back in with Yanni???? Still enjoy your chemistry with Mikie C but just saying lol

[@williammontague84]

Please fix the audio on the Bobby Lee episode.

[@CharlieSpecter]

Damn this is why cannon dropped Feeeny and Sagalow 😂

[@kggregorie]

Cannon was going to have a Barstool show, then Portnoy bought Barstool back and that went away

[@ptvangela]

1 of the hottest guests besides jazzy

[@derek_underwood]

Turn Chris's mic up some!!!!🎤🎛🎚

[@ashleywhieldon7362]

He was too far away and talking to the top and not the face and there was an echo :/

[@derekhayes3963]

We want yannis back not mike cannon!

[@kevinfernandes8527]

WOOD CHIPPER 👍

[@boymadeofleavesmusic]

Barstool fell through so Chrissy is helping mike out?

[@comedycrackhead]

Couldn’t budge for a nice shure mic for mikey boy? Yikes

[@looksee8192]

What a way to end the episode

[@FunkySwanson]

Love the new chaos babe!

[@babalous7479]

Hey Chrissy, you need to get up nice and close to that omnidirectional mic and have it directly pointed and in front of your mouth like you are about to blow it. Thanks babes

[@krlossosa]

Cannon is 🔥🔥🔥but we wanted yanni Biden!!!

[@ryanmc8169]

I dont like the new font. Go back to sitting on a sectional with tete or titi Jerry chilling. That was great entertainment

[@renepena3715]

👍👍🙃🙃😂😂

[@Amouroso]

Can you guys not fix the bobby lee episode? :( two of the funniest guys alive and the episode was quiet as hell and completely dark

[@dysay]

I need more diversity on this podcast plz

[@VicTockDesign]

Cannon

[@UnBreakAble1111]

Love you bros, but the set is hideous.

[@ThedeadlyOG]

Yo mike legit sucks on this show and should go back to here’s the scenario, like why would y’all break up tha5 amazing pod for this? Bc sagalow was blowing up too much?

[@tokoloshe42]

Chrissy cutoffs

[@alexkuhnel8128]

This dude has a major lazy eye lol

[@succulenttuna9678]

getting so lazy just make a longer episode for once geez got forbid you gotta do more than one pod in a week

[@hendrikclaytonvanveenen7565]

Brown guys voice doesn’t match his face

[@comree11]

Chris lies as much as Husain Minage

[@NaruBrilu]

Does the guest have a sort of eye condition? That side of his face not as movable

[@balmorep85]

First the audio with Bobby Lee wasn't properly working and now he stops mid senescence, get it together! Glad he stops talking about fasting