How to Support Someone Having an Autistic Meltdown

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AUTISM + MELTDOWNS VIDEO-
• Autism Diaries: Meltdo...
SELF HARM DURING MELTDOWNS VIDEO-
• Self Harm During Autis...
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[@bexter107]

I was very much that aggressive child. Please, please, please if a child is telling you to “go away”, “leave me alone”or “F off” no matter what the age if you truly care about that child leave them alone. They do not want to hurt anyone, it’ll be so much worse if you go after them and rile them up even more

[@runawaygerm]

ugh i FEEL this. I was such an aggressive kid and even to this day people don't listen to me when I say LEAVE ME ALONE

[@xnibbybooksavage]

@@runawaygerm if somebody is saying, leave me alone, or go away while having a meltdown should my big sister Intervene?

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

With being an Autistic person myself when I am having a meltdown the only people that I want around me is my close family. And I am very embarrassed that when I have a meltdown I have accidents on myself. I literally wet myself. I lose control of my bladder. So I have to wear protection like protective underwear or pull-ups. I am being very open and raw and honest. That is how bad my meltdowns are.

[@jamrollz]

💜

[@emdarki]

Loved the video. I think it will help a lot of people. One small thing I do which has helped enormously is me and my partner have code words. I find that when I'm in a meltdown, it is nearly impossible for me to communicate and if I'm asked any questions, it makes me really angry. So pre-meltdown, I will tell my partner that I'm "fizzing" which means - I'm extra irritable/agitated and I am overstimulated. I need to be in a low sensory and safe environment where you don't talk to me. I will have a meltdown soon. Previously, my meltdowns have been made so much worse by a lack of understanding of my needs between me and whoever I'm with. I appreciate that it must be really difficult for people that don't have them to understand our needs, but as you said, talking about it way before a meltdown happens is definitely the best support anyone can give.

[@runawaygerm]

that's such a great idea! thank you for sharing I hope more people see this :)

[@kaylaprinsloo-steiner9437]

I usually have uncontrollable crying fits and I run like the wind away from people. It’s been super alarming to my friends/partner when it seems like I suddenly disappear. I gave my parents a few frights when I ran away on them. Had a bad one at work once....or twice and was super embarrassing. I’ve been told to stop being a child and it just makes it so much worse. I understand the pressure thing. I’d squeeze my fists and if my nails were long enough they’d actually pierce my hands and bleed sometimes. Thanks for being vulnerable and making this video.

[@camilaleon810]

omg I do the same, when I was younger I felt like I was crazy or had bpd because of the running away thing, now I know that I´m autistic

[@kaylaprinsloo-steiner9437]

@@camilaleon810 💯 the same, felt completely crazy, like why am I like this. I’m super late (30 years old) self diagnosed. I regressed during my pregnancy and after the birth of my daughter (first baby) and knew it needed to be addressed, that’s when I realized I was autistic.

[@bexter107]

This is exactly what I’m like now although I used to be the aggressive type and now it’s switched to this so I still very much need to be left alone or I will be terrified of hurting people and that’s only makes things worse

[@runawaygerm]

ah yes. Running away. Definitely my go to move forever and always when I'm having a meltdown. I used to lock myself in my parents bathroom because it had the most locks before the room.

[@DanaM18129]

I have had shutdowns all my life, but having the first meltdown is so much more exhausting because it goes outwards (if that makes sense). You just can't keep the energy in. I remember my first meltdown like it was yesterday. I literally just went from being okay (or acting like it) to not being okay. It was so embarrassing and I felt deep shame. That's why I love to be surrounded by sensitive, empathic or even autistic people. I can trust that they get me. I am honestly scared to go to concerts now, even though I used to love them. But the risk of having a meltdown in a crowded and extremely loud place is just so high. And I really don't want to make the people, I would be going to the concert with, uncomfortable.

[@runawaygerm]

Totally feel the concert thing! I couldn’t go to concerts until I was like 18 and even then I’ve only gone to like 1 or 2. And I always need someone there to help me stay ok

[@DanaM18129]

@@runawaygerm But it is so cool, that you have people around you, that you can trust this much! it is kinda sad, because we should not give up on such beautiful things like experiencing music, just because it could lead to a meltdown. Maybe one day I will find an autistic person, that loves concerts just as much as I do and then we can have meltdowns together afterwards xD (just kidding!) Thanks for posting! I used to only see the "stereotype" of autism on the Internet or in the movies (like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory) so listening to you gives me a lot of confidence!! Best wishes.

[@camilaleon810]

I relate to the concert / party avoidant, even before I knew I was autistic I avoided them because of the sensory stimulation , I think somehow my intuition knew my brain was different and I protected myself from the pain, if that makes sense. Love your videos and reading the comment is so useful to learn about myself and Autism.🌸Thank you

[@BriBooth]

I’m going to share this with my husband. I always go mute and he insists on asking questions lol like I literally can’t talk even if I wanted to I physically cannot. It feels like my mind is far away from my body if that makes sense

[@clicheguevara5282]

I'm more of a shut down than meltdown dude but last time I had a meltdown it was because at band rehearsal my equipment was setup far too close to the drums and I got so overstimulated by drumming that I couldn't think straight. Our singer was trying to help me by just letting me freak out and rant for a minute, but he was looking at me intently the whole time - and then I could see myself through his eyes - which made me feel crazy. If the rehearsal space wasn't so cramped that day and I was able to be in my normal space, I would have been totally fine. It was a difference of maybe 5 feet. :/ Music has been some of the best therapy for me in my life but it can also very easily trigger me if it's not being done "correctly". I'm really hyper sensitive to things like pitch, rhythm, volume, ect.. When I worked in a music shop and people would just come in to kill time and play guitars (usually badly), I would be sitting behind the counter absolutely ready to explode. It felt like I was being personally singled out and tortured. Lol Even if I'm just having to listen to music that I really don't like, it can start getting very, very stressful for me after a few minutes. ..or sometimes I can completely tune it out. Depends on the day. What's funny is that I know music is subjective. I don't judge people for their level of talent. I'm not AT ALL an elitist or snob in any way. I'm just so sensitive to certain things that it causes a physical reaction - and I can't help that. If I play with a crappy drummer, I'm not sitting there judging his skill set. I'm freaking out because I can't follow it.. and I don't know what to do.. and now I'm not playing well.. and stress.. anxiety... dizzy.. shut down. Being overstimulated isn't a choice you make. It's like being drugged against your will and then being told to act normal at all costs.

[@aidenmje]

i used to have meltdowns almost daily as a child. now, they happen every so often, maybe once a month maximum. however, the meltdowns as a child turned into shutdowns as an adult. is this common with other autistic people?

[@alexthemole2987]

Thanks, aiden. Meltdowns as a child did eventually transform to shutdowns as an adult for me. I hadn't really thought of this as a continuum in my life until you phrased it this way. In my thirties -> half a lifetime ago

[@willowisp9150]

I have shutdowns more often than meltdowns. But they share a terrible migraine and having absolutely no energy left. Usually I'm able to leave a situation that leads to a full blown meltdown. Getting irritable is a good sign for me to leave, I can hold back until I'm alone. Usually I manage to leave early enough to then shut down. I need a lot of time to recover, alone, so I can control light and sound and don't mask. Would like you to talk about internalized ableism. Thanks for the video btw 🥰

[@bruce5]

Great video! This is advice I wish other people in my life had received when I was younger. As for me, when I'm in public (especially in the workplace), I'm somehow able to keep meltdowns in check, but when I'm at home (I live by myself), that's when I let loose, mostly whenever I screw something up I know that I shouldn't have in the first place. BTW, drywall is something you can easily do yourself. All you need is joint compound, a putty knife, and a drywall sander, plus I'm assuming you know how to paint a wall. DIY will save you so much money in the long run.

[@runawaygerm]

yeah we've looked into doing it ourselves but it's such a big hole it's very daunting and is a lot more complicated so I'm nervous

[@donielledavis4880]

I'm in the process of a possible ASD diagnosis and your videos are really helping me understand and come to terms with it. Thank you for being so open and helpful.

[@runawaygerm]

of course! I wish you the best on your journey to a diagnosis :)

[@temple69]

After watching this video and the linked one about melt downs I'm further convinced i have ASD-1 or ASD-2. I tend to pull my clothes super tight to my body to feel pressure. I also bang my head and push my hands really hard on walls when I'm having a melt down. Would love to see a video discussing ASD -1,2 and 3 differences and similarities .

[@juliabassham4864]

Hi i love your videos i also have autism and at school sometimes i have meltdowns and some people laugh at me

[@runawaygerm]

Yes have definitely experienced that unfortunately. I wish I had better advice

[@tayloregleston]

I appreciate your willingness to express these things. It's hard to stay optimistic, though, because from my experiences it's more common for people to not want to help or not care than to not know how.

[@runawaygerm]

I agree that both are more common! Unfortunately, for sure. However, like I mentioned I mostly make videos based upon what I have searched for and didn’t find something for and since my roommate searched for this video the other day and didn’t find one I felt like some people must also be looking for it :)

[@tayloregleston]

@@runawaygerm I've thought about starting posting videos and talking of similar experiences, but anxiety. Lol Thanks Meltdowns can be so discomforting to others that I think they get afraid, I got bullied for them my whole childhood & people in a lot of ways act the same way as adults. I like the idea of support. A lot of times when someone is doing something people think the solution is to try to shut them down.

[@galacticmia8371]

I get meltdowns on a rare occasion, because how embarrassing it is. What she's saying is helpful I wish people I know know not to treat me like I'm having a temper tantrum and/or like it's not a big deal because it is a big deal I'm usually extremely logical, but there are times when emotion takes control.

[@1articoli]

Well done Shaina !!!

[@runawaygerm]

aw thank you!

[@theunexplainable2995]

Thankyou for sharing your thoughts and experience with this, I mostly have shutdowns and the the occasion meltdown and I can relate to almost all of what you said, autism makes me who I am and I love that, I wouldn't ever want to change that but it can be so very hard to live with at times, I don't know about you but for me, having such an understanding about everything I experience can make things hard when I shutdown/meltdown because i know what's appropriate ect but still have no control over it really..

[@saewix]

I missed you beautiful!

[@taresy6789pp]

its amazing that you promoting adversity and awareness upon neurodiversity good luck

[@runawaygerm]

aw thank you

[@jennalynkennison7047]

I think its super helpful you spoke about your experiences with self harm during a meltdown, I haven't found a lot of content to read or watch about it. At least first hand, a lot of what I did find was from parents of autistic children. I struggle with self harm during meltdowns a lot and growing up everyone told me I was throwing tantrums, so learning about ti now is so important to me

[@danyelPitmon]

For at least a year to two years I’ve been having so many problems with self harm that I now figure they were meltdowns and I’ve ended up in a psychiatric ward for at least a week one time we can have another time and the last one that I was in the hospital was three weeks and I just kept having several days of problems to where I put my head into the wall or I try and hurt myself scratch myself trying to break the skin all of that oh I should’ve said trigger warning but I am I did all that and I don’t really know what helps me to get through it all all I know is that when I have it I have to just let it go through and when I’m in the psych ward they make sure that I stay safe and don’t really try to harm myself much but this last time when I was in they actually had to put me under with a anesthetic to keep me from doing anything more and it took several staff members including the nurse told me down and give me the injection and I just couldn’t handle any of it at all it was just too much that’s the only way I know how to deal with mine is only going into the hospital not like I want to do that but sometimes I find us the best option for me and I do the best when I ended up in it was always constantly crying hitting the bed whatever I could hearing myself even and so far I’ve gone about eight or nine months now without ending up in the hospital and it’s been about that long almost a year since the last time I was in and I really hope I don’t end up in the hospital again my wife what she does she kind of keeps an eye on me but she asked me if I need her to come by me and help me when I even just break down and start crying and that gets uncontrollable and right now I’ve got so many thoughts and things going on in my head right now that it’s hurting my head Plus emotions of all levels going right now and there isn’t a whole lot I can do about it but I do the best I can I have to keep my mental state level and good otherwise I can’t get my bottom surgery and I need to avoid ending up in the hospital again so I’m doing the best I can with it managing and I just get so wore out lately to where I’ve had to sleep and I just got the vaccine for COVID-19 on Monday and I’ve been sore been hurting my spine has been hurting all the way up to the base of my skull and back of my head and throwing everything else on that shit now that’s close enough for me and it sucks having autism at times and masking emotions I just would love to be able to get rid of the mask completely and I’d love for people to believe me that I have autism and a lot of people are not believing me but I going to get tested in July after that once I have the documentation then people will believe me thank you for reading this long rant I greatly appreciate it

[@jg1681]

early! thank you, this is helpful because my mom has a hard time helping me in meltdowns

[@BouncermanDotCom]

@Runaway Germ Thank you for sharing with us, it has given me several things to think on.

[@businessbusiness9407]

The drip is devastating

[@runawaygerm]

I have no idea if this is a bad or good thing 👀🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Ricardo_424]

@@runawaygerm Definitely good!

[@businessbusiness9407]

@@runawaygerm Good!

[@sysye]

Thank you 🖤

[@michelevisser6811]

another great video thanks 🙏

[@oliviah.2346]

This is so helpful thanks a lot 💛

[@altfk0503]

You are looking gorgeous 🌌

[@runawaygerm]

oh thanks :)

[@brawlerstar2654]

Hello

[@hodgeh]

Have you heard of Temple Grandin's hug/squeeze machine? I've linked below, it wonders for her and her squeezie/ pressure needs.

[@hodgeh]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eGOkg6Wia9N_r7s

[@hodgeh]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/omLbh2SZerGtmsk

[@NOThanslopez]

Hey lol