"How To Talk To Trans People" Reacting To Cringe Ally Tips

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[@marcusdib]

Do you follow me on X and Instagram?

[@drpikachu]

I do. Naturally. 😀

[@taki7546]

What is an X? I only know Twitter

[@RaccCity55]

No. I am banned for life from Twatter and I can barely stand KZbin anymore.

[@dcrane3950]

No

[@zmajoljupka]

Nope, don't use them. Honestly, I don't understand how people have so much time they have several social apps if it's not their job. I also like this format, I can speed it up, watch or not watch and just listen etc. Have a wonderful day! p.s. as someone watching this giant US experiment from Europe I really like your healthy level-headed take.

[@geirpg]

I support trans-people in my life by treating them like anybody else in my life. Simple.

[@untype3992]

Facts. I support human beings, and if some trans people are crazy, mean or delusional, I don't like them because they're bad not because they're trans.

[@23rdcenturyhobbit]

I concur! it's that simple.

[@QueSeraSeraaaa]

I treat everyone the same, no special sruffs from me.

[@Godstud]

Right. I live in Thailand. Lots of transgender people. No pronoun police. No pride flags. Everyone just gets along and has fun. If you misgender a trans person, they laugh. A pronoun is not their identity.

[@chocobro3198]

Yeah, exactly. I do the same regardless of race, gender, heritage, disability, disorders, etc. You get treated like everyone else and if you're a good person you will have my respect. Easy as that. And, as a transsexual myself, to just be treated like one would anyone, that's all I need. All I'd even want. I am sure that goes for all the legit ones. Being treated differently because of it would actually make me feel super dysphoric. Just wanna be normal and seen as such. But, I mean, that is the case for me anyway as I just live my life minding my own business and don't seek attention over it. I don't see why anyone would want to when truly dysphoric. But these people get off making issues so they can be a victim. Being trans is not a higher moral ground to take advantage of but that is what many who appropriate having this mental disorder, use it as. It's similar to people trying get away with doing unacceptable shit otherwise they claim it's racist. It's so nasty and manipulative.

[@starmangriff]

how to talk to a trans person: 1. say hi 2. carry normal conversation

[@naomivought9317]

Facts. I trained this girl at work. Had no idea she was trans tbh I just thought she was a tomboy. About a week into training them someone told me she was a biological male. I was like okay..? Went on training her like I would anyone else, on a normal ass day.

[@ktbg05]

It's the classic "I want to be treated like a normal person!" And then expect everyone to walk over eggshells around them

[@dcrane3950]

Not sure they want to be treated like a normal person . They seem to be wanting special treatment .

[@Kornknealious]

they want to be treated like a "normal" person. but scream and shout that being "normal" is bad.

[@ellemmenn2930]

Bingo

[@sharlenemckenzie9688]

But it’s not normal You are male or female

[@annabellthedoll9953]

​@@sharlenemckenzie9688 And intersex.

[@salazar556]

What's funny to me is how these activists always preach about educating people but when they are in a debate, they are usually just screaming at the opposing side and calling them a bigot.

[@theresas740]

TRUE DAT!! Somehow "I disagree" is murderous hatespeech.

[@dcrane3950]

When people can't follow the rules of debate there can't be a constructive outcome .

[@eleanorrigby9556]

That's because they are not looking for a debate, they just want to "educate" you by telling you that whatever you think is wrong and whatever they say is right. Like you say, it's about preaching, not about discourse. If you accept their rules and their explanation of the world, they are satisfied with the conversation and will treat you nicely. If you don't agree 100% with what you have been told, you are deemed problematic, hateful and phobic.

[@katcankan7129]

​​@@eleanorrigby9556 Exactly! Agreed, except i'd call in brainwashing with lies.

[@Chriscraft50]

When you do educate yourself, you find the science is woefully inadequate or not justifying their talking points.

[@storm1402]

I was at some point one of those gender-confused children, and it went on until I was about 16-17 years old, and I'm incredibly grateful that my parents made sure I'd get the help I needed instead of what these activists advocate for.

[@jesyjohnston6955]

Same

[@QueSeraSeraaaa]

I was 16 when i was confused. That grew out of it as my doctor said it was depression in reality.

[@linusgustafsson2629]

Ironically I was never gender confused, because I found porn at age 7, and realized that yea, I'd like to have sex and my genitals are important. I wonder what would happen if we gave all children porn instead. Probably much fewer gender confused children.

[@Prettyinsilver333]

I also was 16 and gender confused. Also very ashamed of my womanhood back in the days

[@xfile1966]

@@linusgustafsson2629maybe not porn, but send them to a farm/ranch for a couple of months - they’ll learn all about the birds and the bees. Literally happening every day.

[@lsteber9774]

Trans people can help themselves by just stopping being self-absorbed, living as most of us do - go to work, do your job, pay your taxes, abide by laws and stop focusing on yourselves. Living in this world is hard for everyone. Grow up and get used to it. We are tired of the constant whining, complaining and self-indulgence of this "community". We are done coddling everyone.

[@XDBXPQ]

Thanks real transexual just want to be like everyone else 👏

[@courtneymeyers82]

Yes this is how I feel about Gen Z as a whole, and unfortunately a lot of them are from this generation. Of course, there are good decent people in the generation, like this nice guy. It seems quite a lot are narcissistic. So like you, I'm done. I refuse to coddle them anymore, they're old enough now to take responsibility for their own livez

[@courtneymeyers82]

*lives

[@XDBXPQ]

@courtneymeyers82 idk what the hell happened to all the gen z people I'm a gen z too but like I'm nothing like them and I'm like 15 I never had tiktok maybe that saved me

[@lsteber9774]

@@XDBXPQ ♥♥♥

[@cielizzy8860]

They finally confessed that “preferred” pronouns are actually “mandatory” pronouns. If that doesn’t sound like someone on a narcissist tirade, policing the speech of others, I don’t know what is 🙄

[@Mr_user_1000]

I think they are dropping the "preferred" because of the ridicule they got for choosing who they are, indicating it's a made up thing. Now it's like "I am a man, I don't simply identify as one" (which they do)🙄

[@free2yodel]

I just want to point out the hypocrisy of the first person saying that, names have a deep meaning and are chosen with intention by the trans person so you should respect them... And yet, when it's a name held with deep meaning of years or decades of family, love, and connection, it means nothing and actually it's selfish of you to experience that sentimentalism for the "dead name"

[@unitysprings3631]

Dead name is also very insensitive for those who are grieving..... If I hear it, I'm taken right back to my twins grave.

[@megsley]

well duh only trans feelings matter, don't ya know? 😉

[@jadefire2817]

@@unitysprings3631 I'm so very sorry. That is something that I never even would have thought of , in that instance. How painful for you. Gentle ((HUGS))

[@teresaodle857]

I refuse to call it a dead name, it is their birth name

[@yellowsoy2475]

In my culture, the name given to me is very unique and there is a big responsibility and honor for the person who gave me the name. It is likely, I’m the only person who has that name in the world so if I were to denounce it and to change it to something else is really a slap in the face.

[@amandaleadugray2753]

Marcus…Blaire…..Buck…….& Sara!!!!! 3 trans people who changed my mind about trans people as a conservative Christian mom of a 8 month old son and a 19year old daughter I used to think all trans people were wacko’s trying to warp kids minds…until I stumbled across their channels these few fabulous humans are fighting to protect children and I respect and admire the work they do ❤THANK YOU ❤️for telling it like it is!!!!!love you guys

[@thegovtdoesntcareaboutyou]

In the future you will meet more don't lose your hope

[@relaxandunwind564]

That’s 4 people

[@goddammitalana]

*4

[@JS-ep7qv]

*wackos. Not “wacko’s”

[@guma9106]

same here

[@Revert2017]

Back in the day, the pronoun was a bit of a milestone. If people still called you he/she rather than she/he, then the person knew there was more work to do. Once the person was seen as the opposite sex, the trans knew they did it!

[@HimmelsDaemon]

A milestone in the scope of perception, either the perception itself where applicable or a change/shift in reference, towards social position; versus an innate and inherent quality justifying restriction and/or imposition. (Pronouns being a referential linguistic construct; and with that there are more than just third-person pronouns -- I first-person, you second-person, we first-person, etc. Which is also why the neo-pronoun thing almost works, but is built off the wrong reason so they have lack of reference logic.) Connect it with the misconception of and assertion that slurs are inherent and not slurring of, misassociative, or perceived unkind references. And not just a word, but the sound so as to be applied to all languages or non-human noises. Or connect with the claiming of tomboys, femboys, etc... Other references points aren't permitted, or "don't exist" and are all unified -- the abuse of asserting traits/qualities as mutually exclusive to demographics.

[@Melnokina.-.]

It's messed up how people hate their bodies

[@opps8511]

But for some people their natural appearance makes it almost impossible to pass as the opposite sex. Should they not be called their preferred pronouns ever?

[@carolthedabbler2105]

@@opps8511 -- We've all seen some very masculine-looking biological women and some very feminine-looking biological men, but somehow we know which pronouns to use. So if a trans person is making a good-faith effort, I think that's adequate for most people to pick up on.

[@opps8511]

What about transvestites and butch women? They look like the opposite sex too.@@carolthedabbler2105

[@kamen8361]

People dont do this for me cause im straight, why tf would i do it for you...we are both humans lol you dont get special treatment

[@cwcpants140]

“When you’re used to special treatment, fair treatment seems like oppression and hate.”

[@NurseSnow2U]

This is SO spot on!! Bless you both 💯✨👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@eliekurtz]

I'm tempted to make one of these videos for trans people. "When you're talking to a normal person - don't call them Cis"

[@MyBeautifulHealth]

Please do. I’ll watch!

[@amandawilkinsontarot7096]

Thanks again for speaking the truth and calling out these toxic people, Marcus.

[@nancyhanson9661]

Toxic

[@amandawilkinsontarot7096]

@@nancyhanson9661 Opps

[@amandacounts327]

For me, it's the control thing. Seems like they are all on a power trip. Even if you're trying to be nice, they can be so confrontational if you say something wrong or get it wrong. Sometimes you can't tell! Especially when they change pronouns on the regular. I'm in a fb doll collector group and I "misgendered" a doll and was threatened with being kicked out of the group and called a bigot. It's a doll! It's gotten so controlling that people can't even describe a doll without being jumped on. It's just crazy. I feel like my 2yr old throws less fits!

[@Violetbunnyfish]

I left a doll collector group because I saw people being bullied for "misgendering" a Monster High doll. It wasn't a real person, it was a fictional character! It was disgusting and alarming that they were being like that. I'll bet I know exactly which doll you're talking about. Particularly disgusting since this character (Frankie) didn't even say she was trans in the cartoon, only that she was using "they/them" pronouns after having been a "she" for the past 10 years. I personally don't care about the character's personality in the cartoon, because I don't watch cartoons. I just thought the doll was neat.

[@elenawilliams32]

Oh my god. You've both made me laugh out loud all the way down here in Australia. That's insane... 😂

[@megsley]

these people have no life - I would have laughed in their digital faces 😂

[@amandacounts327]

@@Violetbunnyfish yep I’m talking about Frankie. I can’t believe how crazy people are being about it. I mean for one it’s a doll and secondly, it’s from a kids show. Why does this even need to be a thing?

[@theresas740]

​@@amandacounts327these people have too much time on their hands. They have run out of Cosmo magazine quizzes to occupy their minds but can't get into grad school and are bored.

[@jinndoe7068]

Some people confuse support with obedience.

[@askavilucken8768]

Well said

[@MyBeautifulHealth]

And some confuse observations with judgment..

[@drpikachu]

Why would anyone want to voluntarily interact, let alone enter into an abusive relationship with them??

[@XDBXPQ]

Probably because if you don't your transphopic or something it's better to just run

[@drpikachu]

@XDBXPQ agreed. Do a 180 and run. You can't lay a hand on then, and you certainly can not verbally go toe to toe as they are recording and will make all attempts to cancel you. It is better to act like the Borg on Star Trek and ignore them if they are not truly effecting you in life. Like the classic movie "Wargames" starring Matthew Broderick, "the only winning move is not to play."

[@RaccCity55]

I avoid them like the plague. If I have to deal with one at a business I can come back later or forget about it.

[@XDBXPQ]

@RaccCity55 i do too but EVER fandom I'm in they filled with the "pronouns people" its so annoying

[@GanondorfsWife]

​@@XDBXPQI found a way to keep the trans whatevers out of my life. I tell em I voted for Trump, which I did, and they block me lol. I can enjoy my franchise's in peace thanks to my Trump Spray.

[@peanutbrittle99]

‘Please assume. That is the f* point.’ Had me laughing out loud because I’m still not used to hearing that 😂

[@kirstenroche8160]

I work in healthcare and try hard to use affirming language for all of my patients, but I've always felt weird about asking peoples' pronouns as part of introducing myself and asking their name (which is encouraged in my line of work). This point helps me understand exactly why I have felt uncomfortable about it!

[@justachickwholovesmash]

"Please assume, thats the fucking point"... Couldnt of said it any better.

[@MyBeautifulHealth]

Couldn’t *have*

[@eloquentia7207]

Yep

[@bruises.n.bitemarks]

@@MyBeautifulHealth its the same thing

[@MyBeautifulHealth]

@@bruises.n.bitemarks No it absolutely is not. It’s never “should of, could of, would of”-all of those are just misspellings of the contractions should’ve (should have) could’ve (could have) would’ve (would have)..

[@bruises.n.bitemarks]

@@MyBeautifulHealth a comment section doesn't mandate perfect grammar, especially when the original statement is (on purpose) very casually spoken, there are many things we say in everyday conversation that are grammatically incorrect, that's because everyone understands what you're saying regardless, well, everyone except you, apparently.

[@Tracylynn62]

Marcus, I always say "make it make sense". You make it make sense. Thank you.

[@AMKB01]

My initial reaction to some of these would be "get therapy", but these days, here in Canada, at least, it's basically illegal for therapists to actually treat people who claim to be trans. They must affirm and validate their claims, or they risk losing their jobs and licenses, and if you "misgender" someone, you could end up in prison for it. Parents that don't go along with transitioning their children risk losing custody of their kids, and be imprisoned for it. But it's a "scary time for trans people", apparently.

[@hayleylongster4698]

Yup. They are a threat to us. Not the other way around.

[@jennyrabbit4643]

Just a small token of my appreciation for the way you combine your sharp, hilarious wit with critique and helpful info.

[@Commentsareforlosers]

I hate when I'm supposed to support certain groups of people who are artists just because they're black/asian/gay/trans etc. I am into art so I follow alot of artists on social media, but I don't care who's behind it. With most of them I don't even know what kind of person they are or I found out much later. Just try to stand out and gain your following just like the rest. Why do you expect special treatment?

[@darkangel_1978]

I have a few trans friends, whom I knew before the transition. They have been completely fine with people slipping up and going by their old name. They know it's a hard adjustment for parents and friends who grew up knowing them from before. Sadly though, I do have that one friend who if you do something they don't like, they'll cut you off forever.

[@carolthedabbler2105]

Well then, that's a self-correcting problem.

[@annieengelstad8803]

Agree. I'm 40 and still get called by childhood nickname at times

[@tuffwith2effs899]

I have people in my life who make no effort whatsoever to use gender neutral pronouns, preferred name or in any way acknowledge that I'm NB. In the 3-5 times I've brought it up over the last 3 years pointing out that it literally never happens and asking that they at least try I've gotten mixed reactions but no change and have been made to feel like some "crazy" "nazi" "radicalist" trying to "control" other people... Y'all I'm just asking that you at least try, I get that it takes time but you've had years... I'm never gonna hold an honest mistake against you I just don't want to feel like it's your intent to act as if none of the conversations ever happened.

[@jadefire2817]

Can't we just be decent , kind, compassionate *GENUINE* human beings to one another no matter what gender , journey, or place people are at in their lives and journeys? Wouldn't that be "being an ally" to ............well, everyone? Unless what these activists are *actually* saying is they want special, preferred , exclusive treatment?

[@1tommyday]

What you just described is also called The 1980s.

[@jadefire2817]

@@1tommyday You're so right. I miss my childhood. I 'd not really thought about how much it has changed in just my short lifetime. It's actually really sad. And so many people think we've move forward in a *good* way.

[@randomusername3873]

​@@jadefire2817activists don't want that

[@jadefire2817]

@@randomusername3873 I think I am beginning to wonder what it is they *DO* want? It's all over the place.

[@JadeEyes1]

​@@1tommyday...No?

[@Cynnas]

I have a trans nephew who came out about 10 years ago. It hit his mom incredibly hard, he went through trying out three name before settling on one, and he agreed with his mom (and us as family) that when talking about the past using his old name is ok (which we don't actually do now). Also, he dosen't use "dead name" but "old name". He understands that was who he was to the family in the past and that's ok.

[@jamessinclair2778]

It is so personal that dead name and other labels are meaningless really. As long as you all figured it out together as a family ❤

[@sounsure9108]

I really like your comment, I don’t feel good when my trans kid uses dead name why isn’t birth name.

[@Cynnas]

​@@jamessinclair2778Exactly, literally everyone goes through their own personal journey and they don't all think the same way about a lot of things.

[@meechie69Official]

As a person who has a family member whose parent is trans I can tell you that that is something people do not talk about. The impact it has on the family. Especially, when you’re an older adult and you switch your gender. When you’re a boy and you look up to your father the father who is taught you how to be a man, and that man decides To come out transgender late in life that has an impact on the family 🥹..happily ..they our on speaking terms but I can say when we got together they weren’t so much..

[@megsley]

if you do dare try to talk about how it affects the family, you'll be attacked and shouted down. nothing matters except the trans persons feelings.

[@meechie69Official]

@@megsley even the trans person in my family doesn’t realize the impact it had.. it’s a very selfish condition sometimes. That’s how it is looked at and that person get basically a lost parent.. They now have to call by her first name

[@megsley]

​@@meechie69OfficialI can't imagine how destabilizing it would be for a adolescent boy to have his father decide to become a trans woman.

[@meechie69Official]

@@megsley especially when that happened when they were older. So they grew up with them as their father and then just pretty much one day it switched it up. They didn’t get along too well for a while. They do a way better now

[@randomusername3873]

I've noticed that with gay people as well Person comes out after a 10 years marriage, somehow they are the ones needing support and not their partner

[@noone-jw7nd]

I bet that person upset about "transman" has no problems referring to people as cis.

[@heatherbeau4759]

When I meet up with a transsexual I say, " Hello, nice to meet. I hope you're having a good day." That's how I greet everyone.

[@daisysunshine1324]

Yup. Me too. Then I ask them their name because I’m not interested in calling them by their pronouns.

[@heatherbeau4759]

@@daisysunshine1324 I agree about the pronouns.

[@puppydogs68]

@@daisysunshine1324 …what if they completely resemble a girl or boy (like, actual look like a normal person, not the woke “non binary” people with green cropped hair and piercings)?

[@heatherbeau4759]

@@puppydogs68 I greet everyone the same way. My personal opinions don't need to be mentioned.

[@sayjay26]

Wow, as a teen girl I got confused for being a boy twice and I didn't care, I laughed because its how I looked. I had short hair and was flat as an ironing board both sides it was what it was. This was the 80's in San Francisco and I'm so glad I have always known who I am from a young age. Self-Acceptance is key and it would stop all of this need for acceptance from everyone else. I'm a goofy African-American Woman which means I was a goofy African-American Girl and Teen-Girl. Trust that was hard but life is hard and I made it and if I made it so can you, remember this "The Hardest thing to do in this World is to be Yourself. The Easiest thing to do in this World is to be Yourself" ~sburnside You are who you are, no matter where you go and no matter how much you change your appearance, you are who you are. If you can't accept who you are why do you expect everyone else to validate and accept you. Much Love to You Marcus ✌✌✌🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜

[@toodlescae]

I went through the same in the 70's. Especially after the time mom butchered my hair. The beautician tried to fix it but it still looked like a boy's haircut instead of my usual pixie. I looked like a little boy. The only thing that mitigated it somewhat is the fact I had very delicate female features and wore dresses almost every day at school.

[@sayjay26]

@@toodlescae I was a full on tomboy, the first time I had on a baseball hat, my best friends friend asked her who was the cute guy😂😂😂. Second time a classmate confused me with her brother, he and I had the same short hair and sweat jacket. She was calling his name and I turned around and she was like I thought you were Wenchie(his nickname)😂😂😂

[@NoOne-bp2jw]

@@sayjay26 At least you were a "cute guy" and not "eww why are you hanging out with him?" 😂😂😂

[@TC-rv6sz]

Beautiful thoughts, Sarah! ❤

[@sayjay26]

@@TC-rv6sz Thank You🙏🙏🙏✌✌✌💜💜💜

[@sarahwilliams755]

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your video. I am a transsexual M2F and I keep being told to join a LGBT community. I am all really suffering for really serious depression mainly because of my past experiences. And people keep telling to join a LGBT group and all I can say is “I have depression and you wish me to join a group full of toxic people, telling me that I am not trans due to me not going with there ideas of a trans person”. It is like ya I am not going to let people tell me if I am trans our not so why tell people how to live there life?

[@megsley]

I hope you find a healthy group of people to associate with - maybe try a UU church?

[@sarahwilliams755]

@@megsley Thank you 😊 but I really don’t like church’s, toxic family too. My grandmother was a big church member, hated gays, lesbian, transgenders and black people. She hated me I a big way “oh he is a bit funny, you best straighten that boy out” which meant going to church a lot and even more beatings which means I have some really notable scars everywhere. And then a all boy’s boarding Catholic school which is just WTF, like ok you think I a bit funny and then put in a sausage fest. So you wish to add emotional scars to the ones on my backside, arms and face? You got it. But thank you it really nice to know there are one or two people out there who cares.

[@waynejohnson2855]

Yeah I really hope you find some comfort in life, soon. Church would definitely be a bad place, but there are plenty of others. Have you tried just checking out normal gay bars to meet. They are mostly filled with just decent people who don't judge and get along with everyone else. Doesn't necessarily mean joining the LGBT community. But you will meet like-minded people and make some friends. Most people, whether they be straight or gay are very accepting of people in your position, we just don't like having other people's ideologies rammed down our throats. As I'm sure you appreciate. Don't give up hope, and don't give in to that ideology. As you say, it is extremely toxic. The last thing you need. I wish you all the best.

[@sarahwilliams755]

@@waynejohnson2855 Thank you for your support and advice. I have been thinking of going to a gay bar now and again just have not gotten around to it. And I do agree that ideologies should not be pushed on anyone, I have some of the same from the church and Islam. I really feel that individuality is best for everyone, not only does it open us up to new ideas but innovation. After all if we all think the same then the world would be very boring and we still be living in caves. Thanks you and all the best to you.

[@TP-nx7uf]

It´s funny how there is so much hype about how to talk to trans people but what about people with depression, anxiety, PTSD or personality disorders? Is the world not a scary place for them? As a person with a PD I also feel pretty outcasted and misunderstood by the society yet nobody is learning how to talk to me or make me feel comfortable. I am the one who has to learn how to function in the society and that´s how it should be. You can be different and yourself, but don´t force people to accomodate your mental disorder. It´s your job to deal with your mental health. It´s okay to be trans and live as a gender you wish to be, but to force people to validate your inner experience in every single conversation is exactly what drives people away.

[@crazynicesonya]

When someone tries to control how and what you should say it’s the end of democracy and respectful society

[@willdegra317]

leftists don't want democracy. they want one party control, no free market, no choice. they are marxists

[@user-xt3fl9yd2d]

Marcus, I owe you a big thank you 💖 At some point in my life I got so fed up with all this trans-activists nonsense, that I started questioning the support I always gave to trans people. But then I met you, and other amazing people online and in real life, who reminded me that out there is plenty of normal trans people just wanting to live their life like everybody else. No hysteria, no chemically castration of kids, no toxic manipulation into guilt and so on. Please keep up the amazing work, you're truly a well-spoken voice of reason in these times 🤗

[@gwenking7700]

When do these people wake up and realize that we are not here to affirm anyone.

[@Tusitala1967]

Remember... when a person changes their gender and their name, they are no longer the person you knew so it's ok to end the friendship, or at the least start over and treat the person like a new acquaintance.

[@pjsmommason5783]

Sydney Watson has a video about trans widows that's really interesting, explains how you're deemed a bigoted transphobe if you no longer want to be in a relationship with someone who transitions. It's sad. But you're absolutely right. People change all the time in different ways and sometimes you just no longer vibe with that person and that's ok.

[@LittleLulubee]

I would say in the case of a romantic relationship, it’s totally acceptable if the other person wants to break up (and if it’s a spouse, it’s totally understandable that the other person would be traumatized and devastated). I can also see how for some kids, it could be extremely difficult if it’s a parent (depending on different factors). But as far as like a friend or sibling, because of the nature of those relationships, there’s no reason not to see them as still the same person. They’re just showing a side of them you didn’t know. But they still have the same values, personality, spiritual beliefs, hobbies, interests, etc. So to end the friendship, or treat them like an acquaintance, seems rather harsh and unnecessary, and I imagine would feel like an unjustified abandonment for many people. Not criticizing, just offering an alternate view.

[@pjsmommason5783]

@@LittleLulubee I agree, to end a friendship solely because someone transitions would be crappy. Often times though when someone goes through a big life change, they change. And that's OK. We want to change and grow as we get older. But with that, people come and go in life. There's definitely a difference, IMO

[@Tusitala1967]

To all those commenting on this post, my comment was meant to match the intolerance transitioners in the video show towards everyone else, while expecting utter and complete acceptance and 100% validation. I would not actually end a friendship because a friend transitioned. However, if they started to become like some of the people in this video, I would have no problem ending it.

[@Tusitala1967]

@@LittleLulubee I appreciate your gentle rejoinder, but I am only matching the intolerance of those in the video in jest. See my other comment in this thread.

[@JenniferMcMahonhawaii78]

Grieving a living, loved one…is harder than people know.

[@jamessinclair2778]

❤

[@chocobro3198]

"The world is a really scary place for trans people right now." Me, a transsexual man who just minds his own business living as a dude facing absolutely no problems due to being trans at all: "It is?" I am starting to see a pattern here. This goes for many "issues" people face, in regards to many things. The ones dealing with the issues, often ARE the issue. The ones dealing with he issues, often MAKE the issues.

[@tlynhen]

Yeah the men ones didn’t believe the women ones that we are always watching always smaller always weaker always sex objects. Being a woman is scary. Men don’t even like to be alone with bigger and stronger men.

[@Peacefulpreface6323]

Can I just say: 1. Marcus, you're looking so well and I'm so happy to see your channel booming 2. I love the community of this channel! Everyone is so level headed, laid back and genuinely kind. It's one of the most toxic free spaces on the internet and I always feel a wave of ease and comfort here. I hope everyone here has a fantastic day 🙌🤗

[@sazziestar202]

Your right it gives me faith in humanity when I come to this channel and read the comments

[@lindseychan5493]

I was misgendered once. Once apon a time in 1999 while shopping at Target with my friends, teenage me was approached from behind hearing a lady say "Can I help you young man?". When I turned around & said "Nope!" the woman was clearly shocked & embarrassed. 😅 I wasn't offended that she mistook me for a male. I had a short pixie haircut & it was winter in Michigan...so I was wearing bulky clothing. My friends & I laughed & joked about the misgendering the rest of the night, (they kept called me "sir" & "young man"). 😊

[@JenAmazed42]

"Please assume! That's the effin point!" I love it!!

[@joeyk5]

🤦‍♀️ ugh. Marcus this is beyond. You are BRAVE to keep being the voice of reason against the BS on social media

[@lsteber9774]

Seriously, who in real life goes around asking everyone what their pronouns are?? What reality, what world do these people think they are living in? If it's so tough, form your own "community" like the hippies did so you're surrounded by like-minded people and stop telling the rest of us how we should act and speak. And can heterosexuals start going around in public asking for support of their sex/sexual preferences?

[@rory____]

I'm going to be transitioning soon ftm. I wouldn't want someone asking me what my pronouns are, like the hell? It's either she/her for right now because I still look like a woman and he/him when my characteristics look more masculine. The reason they/them was supposed to exist is honestly to be a singular and plural pronoun. If you don't know what the hell someone is just say they or them. 3 simple forms of pronouns that doesn't need to go anything past that. It's absolutely ridiculous.

[@jamessinclair2778]

I'm a 40 year old gay man...through all the 'confusion' in my youth, I was glad to process my sexuality and body issues myself and not what the people around me were forcing on my behalf

[@jamessinclair2778]

​@@rory____that sounds clear enough to me. ❤ good luck ❤

[@randomusername3873]

I'm pretty sure they themselves don't do that

[@toniremer1594]

@@rory____ I wish you the very, very best of luck, and may your transition goes smoothly and without any complications.

[@sheryldyer5017]

I don't have time for all that, I'm too busy being a functional adult. Hard pass.

[@megsley]

right I have real world problems to deal with, I certainly don't have time to play middle school pronoun games 😂

[@nahboi936]

the pronoun thing is so true…i’m not trans but i absolutely hate being asked my pronouns because what it implies. obviously i look like a girl, i am a girl and i know they think there’s a possibility i could look like this and not “identify” as a girl and that pisses me off 😭 if i was more androgynous it maybe wouldn’t be as offensive but im not…u obviously know i’m a girl so just call me a girl and don’t ask me if im comfortable with reality.

[@jamessinclair2778]

I don't care about pronouns if it is about being respectful....I just hate that horrible people don't respect back. Eg using labels like cis and terf. Both of which are only said with venom. Where is the love and respect? Nowhere

[@1tommyday]

Just say your pronouns are "I and me" That should shut it down and it's the truth

[@hayleylongster4698]

I always say "my pronouns are whatever / you / want" Gets the message across very quickly and easily.

[@Captain_Jack28]

Lol same. Granted I’m a bit more masculine looking than other girls but my favorite response to that pronoun BS is “Take a guess” 😭😭

[@nahboi936]

@@Captain_Jack28 i gotta start saying that. though i might end up being yelled at by one of those woke queers lol

[@stuff1784]

You have a talent at finding the most unhinged tiktok videos!! 🤣🤣

[@Lijoue]

Brilliantly put. IF the rest of the trans community had this attitude towards their life and everyone else's it'd have the full support of everyone instead of being universally reviled by anyone not willing to be a moron for it.

[@zoep.2891]

I don't think right wing conservatives would support the trans community though. And the trans community isn't "universally reviled" as not all trans people throw a tantrum, if people don't take part in the pronoun dance etc.

[@nix9849]

I'm always really careful around everyone and everything but I had couple of issues only with an ex friend of mine who claims to be transman (although after listening to everything Marcus says, I don't believe she is trans, I don't fricking care anymore) where she attacked me for giving her gender dysphoria BECAUSE I treated her actually as I treat my male friends, so EQUALLY just as she wanted to and used a term that I wouldn't use for my girl friends right. And the attacks like such weren't even only for her "gender dysphoria" but many more where it seems as if she expected me to read her fricking mind. I mean she obviously has mental health issues, as she claims herself, but won't seek a professional, hopes to get operations and testosterone and Idk what - I mean she obviously needs help but she doesn't want to get one. And all of these attacks affected my mental health as well and I'm so done over walking on the eggshells around those... idk even what they are anymore. Oh yeah, and she dared to tell me that she walks over eggshells around me FOR ME. First grade manipulators!

[@zoep.2891]

Wait! Your former friend identified as a trans man, but when you treated them like you treat all your other male friends they became upset? Why? Did they still want to be treated like you treat your female friends? If you had just done that, I'm sure, they would have taken offence, too. And treating them differently, than both your male and female friends, wouldn't be right either, I assume. So yeah, total madness.

[@THEWinkQUEEN]

As a teenager a wanted to volunteer in my local LGBT organization and when i came up to one of their centers and said I wanted to volunteer (I'm a fem lesbian) they asked :" oh! Pronouns?" When I was a teen the whole gender thing wasn't very well known so I didn't understand what he was asking so I just replied :" what?" -"she and her right?" -"who?" -"nvm" And they literally rejected me because I wasn't aware of the NB narrative

[@jamessinclair2778]

So accepting eh?!

[@gnomie2.0]

It really would’ve taken one sentence to explain to you what the question meant/educate you on the subject and move on with life! Expecting people to already know everything about everything in order to be in community with them is how we keep people in separate “camps” and feeling “othered” indefinitely. I can’t stand that mentality.

[@THEWinkQUEEN]

@@jamessinclair2778 very!

[@THEWinkQUEEN]

@@gnomie2.0 also , in the mindset i was in at the time i would probably so go with it lol

[@gnomie2.0]

@@THEWinkQUEEN right? Could’ve trained you right quick and had a worker!

[@janemacdonald3732]

Thank you for explaining to my generation that NOT supporting people who shout all over social media about what they want to be called and what we should allow them to do.

[@mannywilliams6409]

Why do these people feel that they are owed my time? I am in no way obligated to speak to them at all!

[@porksrgoth]

Marcus, fabulous video! I don’t know if you have seen the “lillytino” getting misgendered compilation that blew up some days ago. But I think you should talk about it, and how it lacks common sense to get triggered and put people’s jobs in jeopardy for something they aren’t wired to know or assume.

[@melodybrundage8844]

I saw some of the video clips about the interactions with waiters/servers. People that work in restaurants put up with so much. You are not a good person if you set out to give them grief or get them fired.

[@Schrodingers_Kat]

I’m not an ally. I don’t need to earn a badge they can constantly threaten to take away. Have it. I will just try to be a decent human being to everyone. Sometimes I’ll succeed. Sometimes I won’t. But even if we disagree you (generic you) don’t get to decide who I am in general. You can decide who I am TO YOU, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything to me.

[@jamessinclair2778]

Good point. That's all we can ever do....other people's point of view means shit! As long as we can know that we've made peace with our self That's all that matters

[@hayleylongster4698]

Exactly. Well.... this was my view until people who acted accordingly started getting arrested. Then I began to view people trying to engage me in these conversations as a threat to my wellbeing, and now I just avoid them completely.

[@Flyig_Walrus]

Thank you again for another fantastic video. I love how level headed you are.

[@fuchsiasecret120]

Marcus your expressions are Wonderful, Adorable, and absolutely Perfect!!! Sly, shock (fake or real), sorrow, joy, concern... they all come across so very clearly!!! You're so handsome and sweet Marcus, never change who you are as a person!!! We all love you!!! ❤❤

[@sluttymctits4496]

I may be a boring "cis-hetero" woman who doesn't get offended over damn near anything, but if someone came up to me and asked what my pronouns are "out of respect," I'd be like "Excuse me? Don't I look like a woman? Are you implying that I look like a man, or that I'm androgynous enough that you can't tell?" It's not respectful to ask, it's just plain weird. One of my best friends from college transitioned a few years after we graduated, and I can only imagine what he would think if someone asked him what his pronouns are. He actually looks a lot like Marcus but more buff (into lifting weights and is a black belt in karate), and no one in a million years would ever think he was born a girl. Even though he's chill and is a "true trans man," and he doesn't get involved in this insanity, I can imagine him saying what Marcus said -- "I didn't go through all this medical crap to be asked that. I look like a man, so call me a man."

[@Lemonade_Stand_]

I completely agree which is also a reason why i dont put my pronouns in my email signature at work.

[@Prettyinsilver333]

Why is there always a new video from Marcus on my feed when i am done with my workout and about to make my protein shake? THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS but i love it 😂

[@LepusDiaboli]

This video alone in what it uses as an example is a mirror of low functioning and high functioning autism. Something else this group really doesn't want to admit. Again, if you are triggered or angry is that actual progress as that causes you to think but again, Common signs of autism in adults include: finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling. getting very anxious about social situations. finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own. seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to. finding it hard to say how you feel.

[@alexpeters7987]

Love how your videos are getting better and better! You're always so insightful and eloquent ❤

[@WrappedInPlasticine]

I have so much to say about this... As a conservative, straight, white male that really doesn't care about whom other people are bedding with or what they choose to do to their bodies, the only thing I care about is that they don't try to police the world and how we think and speak or even see them. IDC what their (or anybody's) preferences are because I'm busy over here trying to survive in this world all the same. I have my own struggles and I can empathize that they're struggling but refuse to coddle these adults. IDC what their s*xual preference is, they're adults and they need to grow a tougher hide. This world is viscous and it doesn't gaf about who we are or what we do, it will chew us up and spit up out all the same and when they start that policing speech, they are making the world even worse and more brutal, for us all, including themselves because they are making enemies out of people that wouldn't pay them any mind otherwise and suddenly, they are getting more pushback. All cause they think their feelings matter more than the next person. That's pure narcissistic and sociopathic energy and I refuse to give into to them and their domestic t*rrorism. I have to say it's nice to see that there are allies from within the LGBT community that sees the toxicity and narcissism of these sociopaths. My kids have 2 older sisters from their deceased mother's previous relationship. The eldest sister has cut off all contact and communication from my children (her siblings) because I told my kids that we do not have to affirm that she's now their "Uncle" because she said so...and so my kids refused to call their aunt their uncle after transitioning. She's literally putting the feelings of an adult ahead of the feelings of their adolescent siblings. So I've taught my kids that they have shown who they are(their sisters) and need to believe them and just because they're family, they don't need to remain loyal (if they're going to be toxic) and to never beg family to spend time with you because if they cared they'd be there. They've shown my children where their priorities are, now it's time to move on and forget they exist cause I'm not going to change my values and beliefs just to appease family that really doesn't care about how their actions affect their adolescent siblings. I'm not going to raise my children to be like the rest of this world where feelings

[@zoep.2891]

Why do they call their half-sister aunt? She's not theit aunt. And I think you got something wrong "I'm not going to raise my children to be like the rest of this world where feelings

[@WrappedInPlasticine]

@@zoep.2891 lol yes I meant it in the latter, I always got those mixed up. I remember the crocodile thing but I can't remember the rule of it. Thank you for checking this, I'm gonna fix it Oh yeah and the first part, I was talking about their mother's sister, that's my children's aunt. So I'll make this a bit clearer. My kids' mother had 2 daughters before we had kids together. Their sisters are adults. Their mother also has a sister that is transitioning and demanding to be referred to as their Uncle. Their sisters were pushing it on my kids and my daughter said she doesn't have to call her aunt, her uncle. This made their (my children) sister mad and cut off all communication to my kids. She went as far as to threaten to slap my daughter over that if she said it again then proceeded to pretend neither of my kids even exist. Hope that made more sense

[@dolores7589]

I miss the time when goths were just goths, with their names and culture. Now they are dressed in rainbow colors presenting a woman and demanding me to call them he.

[@DebDunn]

Marcus I think you have a point it is control . You are such a breath of fresh air . 😊

[@scottish_centrist]

"No matter what you do, you will never be a good enough ally" is so accurate. I had a friend who started claiming to be trans, I said everything right, and then she turned around in the end and "officially" broke friends with me because I happened to also be friends with people who were in a political party she disapproved of, and I wouldn't choose her over them.

[@jamessinclair2778]

You have always been concise but you get more and more concise with every video! Thanks for keeping me rooted in reality cos I was starting to feel like my own life experience and beliefs were redundant.

[@elenawilliams32]

Its such a time bomb with some of these people. Im starting to think not interacting at all is the safer route. If only common sense was common.

[@hayleylongster4698]

Not interacting at all is the only safe route, sadly. I just won't be in the same room as anyone talking about this stuff any more. I have to protect myself from any possible (legal) repurcussions Hell, even talking about it on the internet is now getting risky in the UK

[@Cardinal_claw]

If i had a breakdown every time someone called me the wrong name, I'd hardly ever stop lol

[@georgettedenholm477]

You are a delight to listen to.Thanks for sharing your thoughts, love listening to the very sensible information

[@1tommyday]

If anyone ever asks me what my pronouns are my response will be " I and me" Because I speak in the first person.

[@hbic4242]

I’m going to support trans people the same way I support everyone else…just by being a nice person without pandering to them. Treat them the way I’d like to be treated. Easy solution. I’m just so tired of all the labels. Treat people like people.

[@Vi420TTV]

This is why when I submitted my legal name change I did it for myself and I didn’t care what other people called me ❤

[@Mrspuma527]

Thank you…it’s so nice to start the day with a dose sanity and reason. Love your videos!

[@ihintrr]

Brooo got that fade, looks great!

[@KitsuneAdorable]

6:03 Really sweetie? Because you and the rest of the activists have purposefully made it that way. And purposefully made it so _any_ accepting that was built is now fading away. Keep doing what you’re doing Marcus. 🙂

[@judylapointe3507]

It would be hard to find out your child was trans and having to realize how unhappy they have been. I would be glad they found a way to make themselves happier but I would also mourn the loss of "my" child.

[@giobianchi3232]

Marcus the fade is on point!🔥

[@ijustagirl74]

You are very refreshing.Talking sence and with integrity.Thank you.

[@P3891]

I just see Duper's delight with all these activists

[@__rm307]

I Don’t think it’s duper’s delight. I think it’s just plain old smug condescension. I think they believe in what they are saying, actually. They drink their own koolaid.

[@mikaneko]

@@__rm307 I think smug condesension IS Duper's delight, or at least a degree of it

[@courtneymeyers82]

​@@__rm307I don't think they believe it. I think they believe it enough to act their story out

[@heimirjosefsson510]

I say respect everyone but I don't want anyone to dictate how I should act or what I should say. But I would never even think of saying Marcus is a woman or Blaire White is a guy. Because you guys pass. I know one guy who wants to be a woman and I say she/her to her because I have respect. But I am no ally.

[@sharonflowers66]

I subscribe to all the people you mentioned at the end. I especially love Buck's interviews with people who are trans, de-trans, parents of trans and detransitioners, and therapists. Some of their stories are so heartbreaking and infuriating

[@dianemarkey2899]

I ruddy LOVE your videos, been watching for a wee while now but subscribed only today. I love your views, your rational and how you articulate it all so perfectly! So refreshing, you make me laugh whilst also restoring my faith in humanity ❤ Keep up the amazing work

[@brainfreeze1925]

Hi Marcus and thanks for yet another intelligent video. When you refer to someone who is trans, does this mean that that person has actually been diagnosed with sexual dysphoria? It seems that many in the trans activist community have self diagnosed/identified/fetishcized trans and completely rewrote who should qualify as being considered a trans sexual. A very good friend of mine's daughter transitioned to a guy almost 15 years ago. It was a long process with mental health experts and surgeons involved. It was not easy physically and emotionally. He (the now son) still has all sorts of issues but apparently is mostly comfortable with himself. And he completely presents as a masculine guy. No-one would suspect he was born female. But now, we see trans women with beards and aggressive alpha male attitudes. That hardly sounds like someone who is in the wrong body.

[@JackerySnaxxx]

Or how about we just “support” EVERYONE by being kind and just treating everyone the same across the board.

[@silverysnowfox]

Every tomboy (growing up) I know, including me, went through a phase where we wanted to be boys. We have all grown out of it now. Some of them grew out of it by 16/17, I grew out of it around 19/20, but it’s a very common experience for girls who aren’t that feminine. I’m much more feminine now and I love my female body. Stop indulging the delusions of teens and get them proper help!!

[@Feverm00n]

Love your grounded responses to these videos. Also your hair in this video is sooooooo perfect 😮

[@KJT4888]

This video kinda sums up what is wrong with the world because of the internet. Social media has exposed a lot of us as egomaniacs. The way people make these long babbling TikToks. Like their opinions matter that much or people actually want to hear them. They regurgitate unoriginal talking points but it's also the level of stupidity. The 1st person actually said "you may really love the person's old name or have fond memories of calling them that" who the Fuck has fond memories of saying a person's name 😑 The problem with my generation of millenials and Gen Z is too many have been told from a young age that your feelings matter AND that the world has to respect your feelings.

[@megsley]

there was a book that came out in the last couple of years that talks about how we did not evolve to communicate as much as we do now, and how that's driving us all bonkers 😂

[@zoep.2891]

"All of us" stop generalizing. I'm not an egomaniac and most of the people I know aren't egomaniacs either. Moreover, it's not wrong to raise a child, telling it, that their feels matter, it's healthy. Raising children and making them believe they are the best of the best, can do no wrong and their feelings matter more than anyone elses is wrong, but again I barely know anyone who behaves like that, including people of Gen Y and Gen Z. Maybe you should switch of your phone, or whatever device you are using and interact with people offline.

[@KJT4888]

@@zoep.2891 thank you omg I meant a lot of people not all. I fixed that. I really do appreciate it. I always make it a point in life to point out nothing is 100% besides death. You know when I talk about egomaniacs I am specifically talking about social media culture and things like how much someone checks their own and how many selfies they post. I have not taken a selfie in 6 years. Yes I agree there is nothing wrong with telling kids their feelings matter but they must realize the world will not care when they enter adulthood. The world is not a nice happy place that operates off feelings. Believe me I wish it was 😑 Perhaps you feel this applies to you otherwise why reply? I do not even want to get into this but yes I know weak human beings from both generations. So do not tell people to get off the phone and go interact when you are literally using the phone to say that 😑

[@aussiegardener1773]

Another wonderful video from you. Thanks 🇦🇺

[@aswithinsowithout]

Marcus, you really are just great. I really appreciate you. ❤

[@paintproduct2332]

I love your channel! Thank you for your work. You’re loved and appreciated on purpose!

[@aries0968]

Sweetie you are doing amazing work, keep it up! It is wonderful that rather than being silenced by, lets be honest here, a very vocal and agressive community when sombody opposes "the message" So sick of "the message" and "the narritive" Didni miss a meering or some form of memo whe j quit going to 'look at my new fettish con' ?

[@naritod]

Hello Marcus! I'm a big fan of your content and Blaire and Buck's, I started experiencing major gender dysphoria as soon as my body started to develop but before (as a child, between 6-10 years old) I had gender envy when I saw boys. What do you think about that? Im almost 18 now

[@IslandFurby]

I went through that too when I was starting to go through puberty and for a while I identified as a trans man (I’m female) but I was personally wrong

[@rory____]

Give yourself time to think about this. Like a good while of looking through your life, what you could envision for yourself. Could you see yourself in the longterm still having these thoughts and wanting to be a man. There are all intricate parts and it's all on a spectrum for everyone. If you plan on transitioning make sure you have thought of what your life will shape out to be, the new routine that you'll need, the new life that you'll lead, and how you manage the struggles of making that transition. I wish you the best for your journey in discovering yourself, and I hope you find who you believe yourself to be.

[@naritod]

@@Garbeaux. Yeah, like really bad. I was a happy kid but internally I was never happy with myself. Its a similar experience as Marcus, thats why I was asking. Im a trans man

[@naritod]

@@rory____ I do. I started questioning myself around the age of 10, but I didn't know something like that existed. I didn't feel comfortable and really wanted and desire to have a beard, when I got my first period I didn't understand why it happened to me, but I knew it was for the females. I'm almost 18 years old and I still suffer from gender dysphoria.

[@naritod]

@@Garbeaux. Thanks, I do think the same. Its ridiculous to claim that you are transexual without having gender dysphoria. I asked because I do not remember having gender dysphoria itself in my childhood, I did desire a beard, short hair, a masc body, etc and I did like the "boys stuff" but the second thing means nothing if you then feel okay with being a woman, Im not. thanks for answering 💕

[@rebecca967]

I enjoyed watching this video it makes such perfect sense. keep up the good work

[@nobo764]

Oh honey I'm so glad I found you. Love your sense of humor . Not the first time I'm fashionably late to the party. Just subscribed ! ❤️

[@sirbaronvoncount4147]

Oh yay the trans community has come out with this weeks orders for how I should behave and speak to people who hate me. Info so deeply personal that it was made into a video and posted for all to see. Which is it are you deeply sensitive or attention seeking? It’s extremely rare that both occur simultaneously

[@offbeatblackgerl8360]

This is a very serious question, I am really asking: Why is it really scary for the trans community? Like what is happening that is dangerous to the community. I googled and found nothing substantial. Am I missing something massive?

[@glykera]

Some people disagree with them on social media. And some countries become reluctant to blindly affirm and transition gender-confused children. It's a truly horrible time, apparently.

[@simplybri3608]

I’ve had people ask me what’s my preferred pronouns at work.. I’m a woman I got pissed off and professionally cursed them out.

[@BH-pt1ps]

Love the new haircut Marcus! It's very flattering and handsome!

[@Kitkat613]

Give me a break. It’s not my job to accommodate you. Your demands don’t work on me.

[@Nekromancer98]

I know its off topic but whoever did you hair absolutely smashed it, that fade is awesome dude!

[@rileyknight358]

Thank you! I thought I've been walking this journey alone! I'm also a trans man that agrees with you and Buck. I watched both videos with you and him and it was great and very informative! It's so refreshing to see a voice of reason and sanity amongst this new "trans" 🙄 community. I don't even know why they call themselves trans when like 75% of them would run screening from the idea of ACTUAL transition that resulted in ANY permanent changes. I'm also a healthcare professional VERY interested in getting involved with trans healthcare needs. Please feel free to reach out to me.

[@dcrane3950]

I really care about and respect you and Blaire White . I think you realize how your happiness in life comes from within yourselves and not being affirmed by others . I affirm the content of your character .

[@jamessinclair2778]

But the good thing is they don't need anyone's affirmation...what a relief 😂😂