How To Talk To Women? Use These Effortless Communication Hacks

Ever been puzzled 🧩 when your girlfriend or wife pleads, "Talk to me"? Ever felt that daunting silence or received a disheartened response from her? If yes, this video is your essential guide to understanding the intricacies of male-female communication!
About this Video, How To Talk To Women:
➡️Decode why many men find themselves at a loss for words and why women often yearn for deeper conversation.
➡️Dive into the unique wiring of male and female brains, backed by my 15 years of expertise in relationship dynamics.
➡️Uncover ancient hunter-gatherer patterns that still influence our communication today.
➡️Discover a foolproof 4-step method for men to communicate in a way that resonates with women and builds a stronger bond.
🔍 Topics Covered:
📚Evolutionary psychology and its impact on modern relationships.
🧠The roles of male and female brains in problem-solving vs. bonding.
⚖️Practical strategies for fostering open and meaningful conversations.
🗣How men can use effective communication as a tool for connection and intimacy.
✅ Who's this for?
Anyone looking to strengthen their relationships, build better communication channels, and foster a deeper understanding of their partners. Especially tailored for men seeking to improve their relationships through meaningful communication.
👤 About Adam Lane Smith:
As an attachment specialist with over 15 years of experience, I've dedicated my career to helping individuals enhance their relationships. My insights draw from vast training, personal experiences, and countless coaching sessions.
Don't forget to LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE for more expert relationship advice! 💬🫶
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[@feelsrestricted8322]

Adam dropping truth bombs like nobody’s business

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks, that's my job!

[@AjeyPandey216]

This, oddly enough, illuminates an interesting dynamic I’ve had with my mother since I’ve moved out! I’ve gotten the since that she would really prefer hearing from me on basically a daily basis, and my initial impulse was “Okay but nothing really happened today; what is there even to say?” I kept this video in mind when I called my mom today, and even without asking for specific input, telling her (from my perspective) boring details about my day and letting her do the same seemed to gratify her.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Yes that can be so helpful for female bonding! You might consider asking her WHY she likes hearing that, what it does for her.

[@brianmeen2158]

I’ve had numerous girlfriends in the past that wanted to hear from me every day and I was totally confused by this - I’m very introverted and despise small talk so everyday convos are a no no .. I found out very few women will understand this lol

[@everObvious]

@@brianmeen2158 😕 I’ve been in a similar situation, so glad you brought this up. It helps 🙏🏾 tremendously to understand the evolutionary motivation behind this. But I refuse to accept that I’m an ass for lacking the energy to participate in a description of lunch every day. It’s like slow water torture. Eventually I’m going to snap at her. Then I’m doubly the jerk: once for avoiding the daily distraction, and again for being resentful in my response. How can I long for someone who requires periodic check-ins?

[@nathanrobertsofficial1524]

@@everObvious​​⁠I wish I had an answer for your take. I’ve had the same frustration in at least one past relationship. But your comment resonates with me in another related way. As a man, I respect independence. A very fact that women are so much more INTERdependent than men can cause me to lose respect for just about any woman. That attitude of mine hasn’t been helpful in my relationships with women, but I don’t know how to respect a woman when she needs me every day or several times a day for things I think she should be able to do herself (entertaining herself, regulating her own emotions, figuring out how to spend her time, for example). It helps to understand how women are wired, though.

[@everObvious]

@@nathanrobertsofficial1524 "regulating her own emotions?" 😒 See: I think that crosses the rubicon into what ALS describes as "anxious attachment." But I'm still learning. 😔That's why I'm here.

[@v9b23j]

Whether it's a woman or a man, when someone shares an issue with me that could potentially benefit from a solution, I've developed a habit of asking, "Would you prefer me to give you an advice or simply hold space for you?" This approach ensures that I align with the other person's expectations and respect their boundaries while meeting their needs.

[@AttachmentAdam]

This sounds like a great approach! How do most respond?

[@v9b23j]

@@AttachmentAdam Most respond positively because it sets the tone for mutual expectations and establishes a boundary 😃

[@brianmeen2158]

“Simply hold space for you?” I’ve never heard of that - it means just listen?

[@v9b23j]

@@brianmeen2158 It means to be fully present with someone else, without judgment or distraction, so that the person can share their experiences and perspective.

[@jjaxner]

Interesting topic! But I have a really hard time to filter it out from the background music.

[@alexandrodl1371]

I second that. Your videos are absolutly interesting enough on their own. I personally would listen to them all without any music

[@FrancesZaldumbide]

Softer music maybe?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks for the feedback, I will look into this

[@marik8624]

Yes. I'm saving this video for later.. might need it. The music in the background is distracting but it helps when I switched on the texts. Thank you for the helpful tips 😊👍🏻

[@soham9496]

I dont have a girlfriend yet , but its good to know that i will know how to navigate my relationship in the future because of you. But im also ready to face the reality that things may not workout as i intend them to . And the background music is A ok. Dont remove it

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks for the feedback. It's good that you're getting ready now! You will do great.

[@Degast92]

I had this with a girl I was talking with. We got in a bit of a conflict, because I accidently offended her, by saying something the wrong way- After this we broke contact but after a month I told her that I wanted to talk, to solve the problem. I basicly repaired damage by explaining my intentions, sharing emotions, and by really stating what I meant. We had a few sessions to talk things over. So the third conversation we had starts with her explaining to me what happened at work. She never did this, since she was pissed, so I was confused. Now at the end of this conversation, she tells me she doesn´t have romantic feelings anymore. This is fine, I accept her decisions, however she also told me that she would like to have more conversations like this. But for me not her not having feelings defeat the purpose of these convo´s, so i don´t really feel like having many more of these sessions. Now i get this is a man woman kinda thing.

[@AttachmentAdam]

This does sound emotionally confusing and there was a major disconnect here. I'd be happy to help you troubleshoot this and make sure it doesn't happen again, you're welcome to email me at [e-mail] for some dating help

[@chwk2003]

I'm trying to listen and focus but the music is not helping.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Got it, thanks for the feedback, I will look into this.

[@johannakunze3300]

So precise. Beautiful. Now I feel connected to you.:)

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad to hear this was helpful!

[@Rhodes8926]

I realy enjoy learning from the content you create. The background music on this video is too loud and distracting for me unfortunately so wasn’t able to concentrate on what you were saying. Just wanted to let you know as I can see you are interested in improving in all aspects to serve your community well x

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks I appreciate the feedback, newer videos should be fixed!

[@a.catherineremy4424]

Thank you Adam Lane Smith, this video is such a gift

[@AttachmentAdam]

I am so glad to hear it was helpful!

[@srikrishnavasanth3895]

Men are like Problem Solvers and Guiders. Women are like Empaths and Nurturers. Due to different situations I've stopped having empathy for myself but still I will try your method for you.

[@moonknight4053]

I wouldn’t say they’re empaths, what kind of empaths have a habit of talking about everyone aka backstabbing. That’s not empathic, that’s a disorder

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's often the default for most, yes.

[@kathrynallofwhoyouare7645]

This is really beautiful. Your videos make us women feel very seen and appreciated. Thank you.

[@AttachmentAdam]

You're very welcome, I appreciate your feedback. I'd love to hear from you which part of this video resonated most.

[@kathrynallofwhoyouare7645]

@@AttachmentAdam just like you said in , when my husband involves me in his thought process about a particular challenge he’s facing I feel like he values me. I feel useful and good about my contributions to him because of how my “brain differences”, as you spoke about, allow me to see things he might not. (I loved how you pointed out women’s capacity to compute so many relationship variables at once!) Then I feel more bonded to him, (probably vasopressin, right?) because we’ve approached a challenge as a team, or at least experienced collaboration toward a solution. I feel valued, respected, connected, and safe when he does this.

[@Brainin4malin]

When I wanted to share a problem with my ex girlfriend, she told me "I hate when a man has a problem". So I didn't told her and I never tried again.

[@AttachmentAdam]

It sounds like what she said hurt you or impacted you on a deep level. Did you try to understand why she would say that?

[@adamstrle4916]

Could you up the volume on your videos? Otherwise i love your content. 👍👍

[@AttachmentAdam]

I'll let the team know, thank you for the feedback!

[@lurkern]

Hi Adam. I would like to show my wife this episode and agree to consciously daily/weekly come to her and ask her for feedback as you outline, if I do this 5x per week for a few months I think it will stick for the future. Could you kindly recommend what she could do in turn to help facilitate progress on this? Is there any similar excercise she could do in return for our continued progress that would serve us well if she installed to her own behaviour that synergizes well with this, targeted towards an understanding of the male brain as well? We have struggled on days when one of us is not perfectly regulated, I will forget to ask "would you like me to just listen with an open heart, or help you solve a problem?" In the same sense she can start the conversation with "I would like for you to just hear me out without offering unsolicited advice so I can be heard." When those phrases are included, we do well. When they are excluded less so. Any tips on ways we can both jointly work on this concept? Thank you very much for your wonderful content

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey there, sounds like you need to be reminding each other of these skills. Also sounds like you need to spend some time building the positive aspects of your marriage instead of trying to spot-fix the problems. Have you considered doing a coaching session with me to get on track together? Right now I'm running a super special on all coaching packages and single sessions, check out my website for details: AdamLaneSmith.com

[@rashadm.sadigov4366]

Adam, probably you are tired of my questions, but does the way of communication style you describe work with avoidant women as well? No matter how much i tried to communicate but my avoidant didnt communicate at all.

[@namepending155]

Women often died in childbirth and also needed the life insurance for their children’s care. That requires some serious relationship skills.

[@masonmitchell7752]

Did science show that women use both sides of their brain and men mostly the left side logical brain as a general rule? Makes sense to me. I’m sure trauma/abuse has had a huge hand in that too! What are your thoughts on this Adam?

[@AttachmentAdam]

It's more that male brains go mostly forward to back, on both sides, while female brains cross the hemispheres a lot more often.

[@Arquebusier89]

Adam, what happens when woman couldn’t do what woman does and they are more suited to take on male role? Something like CEO woman. (Not saying they are wrong. I will be a happy house husband if I have a rich and strong woman) Also, how does an avoidant woman work? She can’t even have communications with her female companions. 🤷‍♂️

[@v9b23j]

Within a professional setting, particularly in a corporate context, there is an expectation for employees, regardless of gender, to not only articulate the challenges they encounter but also to actively offer solutions. So an increasing number of women have a solution-oriented approach, influenced by these societal norms and expectations. In business, people who tend to discuss the issues yet don't suggest solutions are often perceived as imposing a burden on the organization. There are also instances where female employees adopt a "damsel in distress" persona, seeking to connect, be rescued, and have their problems solved by their colleagues, often favoring those in higher-ranking positions.

[@AttachmentAdam]

It is true that these same issues are more complex in professional settings. Companies need to keep this in mind!

[@jjhuffstutler338]

I hear you she wants to feel safe and secure but what if I don't feel safe and secure. My attachment is insecure not secure?

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's a good question - What is making you feel unsafe in your relationships?

[@jjhuffstutler338]

@@AttachmentAdam thanks for reaching back out to me 🙏 there's so many things first thing is abandonment, nobody was there for me and my parents didn't even know how to take care of their own needs. So I don't trust nobody. I just want to be secure and go after my dreams.

[@jdemille79]

I wish my ex-wife wanted to share and bond. She was literally the polar opposite of everything you say women are. It was very frustrating.

[@RhysLongfield]

Hey Adam! Quick question. I'm a male that is gets off on problem solving. I resonate with evolutionary psychology, but one thing I really resented in my last relationship was that when times got really tough I tried to open up to my partner, but she was immediately a fixer, which i hated because i just wanted to be heard. (Which that often is what people say women want). More than anything I hated that my problem solving ability was not respected. Does this mean I am feminine in my thinking or that our attachment styles didnt mesh? Looking for any opinions here

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hey there! There is plenty of variation in people and sometimes you do need some love and care. Finding that balance together is important and being able to voice what you're looking for is helpful so they can meet that need.

[@marcuslouscious6367]

What does it mean for a guy like me who seems to problem solve in a feminine way? I look for connections and relationships In information and am all over the place mentally when coming to a decision. I don’t jump right into the solution. Am I doomed? I feel like my thought patterns are damaged

[@AttachmentAdam]

Have you ever checked on your anxiety level? I see this happen a lot with that issue

[@KiltedTupiniquin]

What do you do when she does not connect and just say she does not care about the problem?

[@AttachmentAdam]

You shared with her and she says she doesn't care at all and refuses to help? Not a good sign.

[@SamStone1964]

Music is distracting and unnecessary.

[@mattblue144]

I agree, the words are so valuable that overlaying it with music and distracting noise takes away from the value, we hope Adam sees our messages and reconsiders how he develops his videos, love the content still

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks for the feedback!

[@SamStone1964]

@@AttachmentAdam Music and that bizarre camera going in then out then in then out. Weird!

[@changingwoman1494]

​@@AttachmentAdam please please please re-release this content without the music. I need to share this with my avoidant Viking but he can't take it seriously. You added annoying music to the Emotional Intimacy video too. The two I really need him to hear and he has to listen through elevator music. Why???

[@masonmitchell7752]

🔥🔥🔥

[@AttachmentAdam]

👍

[@oambitiousone7100]

What’s it mean when he verbally dumps his workday stress every day?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Could mean a few things, like maybe he's feeling very agitated about the situation and trying desperately to process. Could also mean he feels comfortable with you. Asking him might be a good idea.

[@user-hd9ml7zo4i]

Kill the background music, it is an impediment to listening to your information, please.

[@Lumeone]

The truth, if a man has nothing to say - it means there is no connection with the woman. It means - this is a wrong couple. It means you have nothing in common. Divorce is in the making. What keeps you together?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Well, it's not always that black and white. Sometimes silence can mean many things, not just a lack of connection. What's your perspective on navigating differences in communication styles in relationships?

[@skyloveup]

Everything, but don't exploit or abuse it.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Absolutely! Thanks for sharing.

[@austinjames2721]

This sounds so exhausting

[@AttachmentAdam]

Why?

[@jonrazo7912]

Why is it always on the guy? Everything seems to be about making the guy meet her needs, communicate the way she wants, when is it the guys turn? Happy wife happy life, where's the male version of that? It certainly seems like all of society talks about what men need to do for women, but it seems really one sided from my perspective. Why are you training men to communicate with women and not the other way around. Why is it always on us? I'm a teacher and a good one. I spend all day talking, making decisions and leading at my job. I want to come home to peace and quiet, not more talking, decision making, and leading. I want to power down at the end of the day. Sure, I share my day, kids say and do funny stuff and I've got a million stories, but Most of the time, I just want peace and quiet.

[@ricardocarmignani3602]

Back song annoying and unnecessary

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks for the feedback