How to Tell the Difference Between a Psychopath and a Narcissist

[@dandiacal]

This is like a psych 101 for the masses. Thanks for doing this: not everybody can be enrolled in higher ed.

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@mehere8228]

Thanks so much. I agree with the previous chat response of higher education and knowledge. Ive asked qualified persons in the field but do not get all the details you mention. Im left thinking do I have to go to college spend thousands on a few questions just to keep myself safe from abuse.

[@joanlynch5271]

It is a good introduction for sure.

[@mintberrycrunch4333]

@Donald J put me down for three Narcissist Detectors, deluxe model. Can I also purchase replacement Ambrosia Glass separately?

[@HAL-dm1eh]

@Donald J Who hurt you?

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

If you’re not already a teacher/professor at a college, I hope you’re considering it. You’re very well spoken, intelligent and knowledgeable. I think you’d be great at it. Just my 2 cents. Thank you for educating us here on KZbin ☺️

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

Yes!

[@marijkevandermeer2772]

EXACTLY! 🌷

[@Lamentable5]

Agreed, I'm wrapped in it

[@headecas]

Why? He would prolly make less money

[@ketchupking9972]

Why teach at university rather than KZbin other than for ego? He is far better here, with a wider/larger audience and room for growth.

[@princyjoseph3363]

I am a public health professional from India. Your videos have inspired me to work in the field of mental health and to pursue a Phd in this field. Thank you so much for taking the time out and inspiring masses

[@wendyhannan2454]

👍

[@Cbd_7ohm]

@@deniseelsworth7816 lol

[@IR240474]

How are you getting along with your dream, Princy? I hope and wish you a wonderful journey in to mental health, I am starting my masters in psychology this september 2022, and we need more professionals and people like you to join the team. Blessings from Ireland.

[@imDavina1331]

i need to re process mine life... see you in another form...

[@SaikiranJetti]

@@deniseelsworth7816 And he's probably not come across a psychopath in real life or seen a psychopath's rage.

[@lcstyle2029]

1:26 - the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath (primary vs secondary psychopath). 1:45 - ASPD and Primary vs Secondary Psychopathy 2:18 - Two types of narcissism - Grandiose vs Vulnerable 2:40 - Things in Common between NPD and Primary 3:00 - Primary Psychopathy Traits 3:11 - Secondary Psychopathy Traits 3:23 - Grandiose Narcissism 3:39 - Vulnerable Narcissism 5:30 - Features of Narcissism you wouldn't expect to see in Psychopathy 5:35 - Envy 5:51 - Need for Admiration 6:25 - Sense of Entitlement 6:37 - Arrogance 7:16 - Hyper-Sensitivity (Covert Narcissism) 7:45 - Features of Psychopathy you wouldn't expect to see in Narcissism 7:53 - Lack of Fear of Punishment or Consequences 8:22 - Low Neuroticism (low negative emotions) 8:52 - Unemotional decision making 9:12 - Lack of guilt 9:39 - Cold and Calculating 10:10 - Features that appear in both (but manifest differently) 10:28 - Grandiosity 11:06 - Delusions of Grandeur (fantasies of success, wealth, power, etc.) 11:37 - Airplane Movie Example of how delusions of grandeur might manifest differently between NPD and Psychopath (NPD First) 14:31 - How a Psychopath might handle the situation in the Airplane Movie Example 15:55 - Continuing with Overlapping characteristics (Manipulation) 16:47 - Lack of Empathy (callousness) 17:27 - Dominance (NPD social vs Psychopathic physical) 18:39 - Pathological Lying (NPD vs Psychopath) 20:01 - Video Wrap up / Closing

[@babygrandma8654]

Thanks so much!

[@DianaEmilia911]

Wow. Thank you!

[@explorer0213]

Thank you are you studying psychology.

[@brianscott9525]

Thank you Ronnie.

[@phyllisirwin5660]

Thxs for sharing & caring for others! God Bless & Stay Healthy🤒😷💜

[@bm-ub6zc]

From my own experience, I think that from the perspective of someone who's interacting with a psychopath is, that the psychopath somehow doesn't induce fear, he's just friendly and well adapted, but seems invincible to any kind of attack or manipulation. I have the impression that a narcissist is very intimidating from the first second on, but is oversensitive for attacks and falls easily to manipulation like flattery.

[@specialtwice4975]

Bingo. I would also like to add that narcissists can be manipulated by psychopaths as well, heck narcissists can be manipulated by regular people if you know which buttons to push. Narcissists are known to not always be the brightest bulb in the tool shed, 90-. while psychopaths I.q are always always always above average, 110+

[@sierushest1991]

@Iris-Angela Jones why stay?

[@specialtwice4975]

I'm glad. I hope you can leave safely and have a wonderful life.

[@stefanostokatlidis4861]

@@specialtwice4975 no, a psychopath IQ isn’t necessarily above-average. This is a myth that has been talked in this channel before.

[@Anonymous-qw]

@@stefanostokatlidis4861 Yea you even get low IQ psychopaths. Those tend to be the highly violent ones that prisons are full of.

[@jenmdawg]

I discovered I was a narcissist and have used DBT to recover. I was literally the last to know! I am still working on it but since I was diagnosed (worst day of my life, lol) and began working on it - my life and those around me - is much, much better.

[@trudytru8224]

Fair play to you, that takes great insight 👏 you deserve to live your best life making sure your compassionate to others aswell

[@reallyhappenings5597]

@@trudytru8224 Don't presume to advise the OP, he's doing something you can't imagine

[@mpv9866]

What is dbt?

[@lunabee89]

DBT is dialectical behavioral therapy. It's very helpful for a wide range of issues. Jennifer D- thought I'd throughout the discernment seed with your new discovery. Always be aware of projection around you. It's not uncommon for people with high empathetic, more so codependent, tendencies are susceptible to believing they are "the problem". Codependents/empaths and narcissists are like magnets to each other. Your comment seemed to echo empathy. So just throwing it out there. Either way DBT is so great for all these intra-interpersonal complexities. It helped me a lot.

[@vlo123veronica]

Thats awesome you realized you had a problem and got help. I think one of the biggest issues with narcissists is the fact they think they're perfect and don't listen to others when they point out their behavioral problems. KUDOS to you! That is awesome for real

[@FivesEyes]

The Airplane example really helped. That form of narrative learning I found easy to digest and retain.

[@anistargameplay4276]

I totally saw myself in narcisstic fantasy:)

[@matthewrocca4197]

Yeah, that was definitely a fascinating example of the different fantasies and motivations between the two! Dr. Grande, in your experience, would you say that a psychopath's fantasy of the same scenario might include fooling the passengers into believing he/she will rescue them, then crashing the plane with everyone (himself/herself included) in the plane? Or would that be closer to a "sociopath" (due to the unnecessary risk factor and "high" from danger)? I am curious because I know there is often an overlap between psychopath and sociopath, and the two terms are typically somewhat interchangeable in pop culture. But I believe based on some of your previous videos and my own research, a "psychopath" has a slightly more cold, logical, emotionless affect and motivation, whereas a "sociopath" is more prone to unnecessary risk-taking, danger, etc. Is that accurate? Also PS - I am writing a character in a screenplay who fits your definition of Narcissistic Personality to a TEE. I didn't know as much about this personality clinically when I wrote the character, but this was very helpful for me in "diagnosing" him. Thanks for the great videos!

[@janlevani8824]

That Airplane example was truly insightful.

[@amicus9811]

Very clear and helpful- thank you I don’t think anyone has ever addressed how charming and socially gifted a narcissist can be with most people while privately inflicting hell on helpless, honest, innocent people. I wonder how many heart broken, shaken, defeated victims are left in the wake of these monsters.

[@DrGrande]

You are most welcome :)

[@hazelrolle5870]

Thank you for that reply that's so true.

[@marijkevandermeer2772]

Many! I was one of them...but I am a survivor now...they are demons...

[@jon9428]

@@dominic4661 how are you doing so far? Genuinely curious, i think i may be a narcissist.

[@jon9428]

@@dominic4661 yeah but how r u doing. U didnt answer. Arr u on somekind of medication or treatment plan

[@violetgypsie]

Main difference between psychopaths and narcs is anxiety. Psychopaths don’t have any (fearless). Narcs have lots (disregulated emotions). That’s one of the main ways to differentiate between the two.

[@invisiblemissx]

I always wonder if this has to do with amygdala dysregulation/deficiencies in psychopathic brains.

[@catherineharward3092]

Agreed psychopaths have no fear and disregard any fear they put others in. They seem to relish in it

[@Punicia]

Good observation. Narcissists seem to have anxiety for themselves but not for others

[@markuswunsch]

Newer studies point out that psychopaths can be highly emotional: Source: "Are Some Psychopaths Deeply Emotional?", Psychcentral, Study by the University of Vermont

[@violetgypsie]

@@markuswunsch Yes, rage is an emotion.

[@ljttlebro3534]

Psychopaths are in my experience more cunning and have an analytical mind that isn't inhibited in and of itself. Where N.P.D often seems to be it's own worst enemy. Narcissism seems to to trip over its own contradictions.

[@egrogan6482]

Good observation and description. Very important distinction.

[@tyyneviljakainen5108]

People who I met who had those symptoms and who were exactly as you and Dr.Grande are talking about are mostly exactly this sociopaths tend to be more way successful because of this cunning part.

[@csc8697]

I think that depends on the intelligence level of the person. Some narcs are quite cunning/ vindictive.

[@J0SHUAKANE]

As a psychopath myself, I agree. We also aren't as whiney or worried as those other lames.

[@trentw.3566]

But Trump is both in an extreme form.

[@kimberlykimmons]

Love bombing is my first warning sign. Unwarranted, excessive praise early in a relationship.

[@koreenalaw8644]

Huge red flag!

[@natashaevsimon1441]

I didn't know. Now its way too late. He asked to move into my house within 6 months of us meeting because he told me he was sure that he loved me, even though I felt it was rushed. The result is Stefan Burgess destroyed me from inside out and outside in, neglecting our children in the process, but pretending to the world that he was perfect father and husband.

[@myrahouse2368]

Miss List I’m unfortunately met my Romantic Narcissist a year ago I never understood wtf was going on? I researched his odd behaviour and sussed he’s a Narcissist a true life genius Narc.... 🥺 I’m absolutely gutted to say the least. 💔

[@kimberlykimmons]

Myra House It’s fortunate it only took a year to identify his behavior. They really know how to break you down. Hopefully it’s small steps upwards from here on.

[@deltaxcd]

Almost all relationships start with love bombing. You usually will not move anywhere without that. And it is also totally natural because your excitement just diminishes over time. which can happen even in few days

[@ClaireSamuelsVA]

You’re a brilliant clinician. You are the only person I’ve found so far that actually gets the ins-and-outs of more stigmatized (primarily Cluster B personality disorders) mental illnesses.

[@paddleed6176]

Question is if they should even be considered disorders when they're just mean and entitled personalities.

[@jessoftherocks]

Sam vaknin

[@lbvv2524]

@@paddleed6176 they should because there dangerous it's like a software error or better like Skynet there terminators there the type to join the military to shoot children

[@loribernardisunwell9663]

@@paddleed6176 seems like you'd have to have some disorder to be so entitled and crooked...I understand a little selfishness but these people are on another level entirely...

[@paddleed6176]

@@loribernardisunwell9663 The human spectrum of character and morality is very wide. Both in positive and negative directions. We'd never say that someone who's extremely nice (far beyond the normal) is "disordered", even if they're just as odd compared to the mean as the monster on the other side.

[@cadenknight1318]

When you talked about the narcissist inventing problems in the airplane scenario it was spot on with an experience I had while working in a large factory. There was a certain control room operator that would constantly exaggerate or find problems then attempt to make himself look good by solving them all the while attempting to make others who knew the problems to be fake look bad. He was constantly looking for any mistakes or weakness in others then exploiting it to make himself appear Superior. Even tho his behavior was constantly causing problems with others no one wanted to address it.

[@gigiarmany]

well observed

[@lydiapetra1211]

Yep, you are spot on!!!

[@kathywedzik4905]

I'm disabled and yep yep yep...invent problems project crimes the whole 9 yards

[@michellebeishline4657]

Yes, had a colleague exactly like this. Constantly created or exaccerbated mild situations to make others look bad, throw them under the bus, in order to pull herself above others and look like she was this amazing person. She even vad disciplinary actions against for maligning others including our bosses. She'd be okay, but only for a while because it was consequence that deyerred her. She would always go right back to it though. Not a team player! NO colleagues wanted to work with her. Can't tolerate the woman... no one can. At office get togethers no one wanted her there and so it was kept on the QT. At previous office get togethers she was "invited/allowed" to attend she tell other departments it was a drinking fest and say untrue things about us... ironically, most of us don't drink at all. No interaction with her on any level was best for all of us. Dealing with narcissists in the workplace, can be more challenging than working with narcissistic family members.

[@light6274]

Fantasy and idolizing people who are on TV or have the perfect life The Who is who / narcissistic /envy , one up on you, critical , competitive about everything, tit for tat /narc / does the math on how much they spend so as not to spend anything and find ways to look like they give, but they get for free and give to others, call you out for using a small portion of something you bought them even though a household item. Etc /narc

[@debravogt7139]

My step sister was diagnosed as a psychopath. She was very manipulative. She was always the victim and viscous! I have worked with a narcissist and they do exhibit similar behaviors. Now that you mention it, the narcissist is looking for attention whereas my step sister had no problem with exploiting people for monetary gain.

[@MissCracker]

Psychopathy isn’t a diagnosis

[@ralfphilipp]

​@@MissCrackerIt is a diagnosis as Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASP)

[@donovangray4246]

Narcissists can exploit people for monetary gifts as well

[@kalebsheridan9017]

This is really fascinating. I have a parent who I may believe is psychopathic. He's virtually destroyed our family with alcohol and affairs, yet when he's been caught, he was very honest about his reasoning and gives what we thought were the most strange reasons for his actions. Reasons that completely lack empathy it seems. For example, he justified his affairs by telling my other parent, "but I still love you". We now have a good relationship but only after I stopped viewing him through the lense of a "normal" person. By trying to see him for what he is. These videos are helping me do that, and oddly enough, bringing me a lot of closure.

[@lindakay1700]

I’ve watched 1000s of videos on this topic, and I want you to know, your presentation is by far SUPERIOR to all the others! I’m sharing several of them w my narc survival ladies group :)

[@DrGrande]

Thank you for those kind words :)

[@spaceflip-zj2bm]

Narc survival group just sounds narcissistic

[@qiuwbr091]

Linda Kay- He brought to mind that Richard Ramirez was the most obvious psychopath who murdered in current times. I don’t understand why he dressed weird during his first murder but the decisions were unemotional.

[@emiliadavis8247]

@@spaceflip-zj2bm 😆😃😂😜

[@spaceflip-zj2bm]

@MrM QuickScope 🥂

[@npcnpc3047]

Distinction between narcissism and psychopaths starts 5:25

[@FirstLast-ie3kq]

Appreciate it

[@ekongkarkaur5117]

And the psychopath can switch from charming to evil in under a second.

[@Hinatafan4ever666]

EK ong kar Kaur My bad.

[@VickiBee]

If that were the case, Trump would be that too.

[@TheOneanjel]

@@VickiBee wow, you Liberals always manage to turn everything into a political attack. How about you get your facts from real sources and stop regurgitating what you hear from Killary supporters. You are a narcissist. No, really. The fist identifying sign is a complete inability to consider the people and circumstance prior to asserting your opinion.

[@johnmorgan692]

TheOneanjel Well said.. Liberals ALWAYS DRAG POLICTICS IN TO EVERYTHING!.. CAN'T B PLEASENT" THEY ARE HATERS. REV 20V10

[@azerosum666]

@@TheOneanjel LOL

[@frankbuchan9052]

An excellent video and very spot on. I was diagnosed many years ago with psychopathy and the awareness of that worked wonders to help me be better in the world. I think sometimes it is forgotten that there is a spectrum at play. Not all psychopaths are identical. In my case, maybe strangely, while I have a very flat emotional connection with most people I can connect with animals. I suspect that was a saving grace in my larger life, because it allowed me an avenue to understand intellectually there is value in emotional connection. I was wired with the mantra to do no harm and the therapy involved working off the connection I could form with animals. I can’t be cured, though, and I tend to warn anyone who gets close to me that I will never be able to be truly empathetic as people imagine has value, or divest myself for the very mechanical thinking processes that make us different. I am not a complete person in the normal sense. Having said that and agreeing entirely with the information in the video, I just want to reiterate that this isn’t spectrum of sorts. Not all psychopaths are evil criminal masterminds. Yes we are calculating, but with early intervention and some supports it is possible to be a functional member of society in some cases. And, in fact, in some social context we can actually be handy given that we have such shallow emotional context. In a crisis, a psychopath can be efficient. Still, I would probably add that we don’t deserve or desire sympathy, and we can’t emotionally bond like a normal person, and that makes even me advise people to be careful about imagining a world where there are friendly neighbourhood psychopaths. We don’t have a whole lot of social ability and value to bring to people.

[@keywest5660]

I think psychopaths are born with a damaged cortex in the brain (the place where morality empathy attachment is generated in the brain. You can see this in scans of psychos. In my opinion though from the psychos I have met in my life at least 10 of them I think I met, in my opinion there was a spiritual problem with them. In my opinion they were demonically possessed. One person that I dated for 4 years and he was a psychopath which I found out later he was like the tinder swindler (throwing himself on women online to acquire money or advance his life) . All this activity I found out during and after the end of the relationship when I started studying him watching what he does in his house in his next supposedly relationship that he continued cheating and also his lack of friends and the continuous change of countries in order to avoid jail. I personnaly reported him to Interpol and to the American embassy. And i think I was the only one of his victims to have figured out what he does and to have reported him. All the women i tried to reach about him they were deep in their sleep. But one time while with him i remember taking him to a monastery where is the grave of saint nektarios I made him kneel on the grave. Next thing I know he nearly died. He nearly fall of a cliff after an hour. I saw him falling. And he said that he has fallen but he felt two hands holding his head up. And that that s how he came up to the road. So I tell you go perform an exorcism on you in an orthodox christian church . I personnaly think that the problem in my ex psycho was really spiritual as his entire family although dutch by blood were demonized I think mainly to their involvement in Hinduism as Hinduism is the adoration of certain deities-demons. Or like i said before since psychopathy run into his family as his dad and grandma were like him and worse them psychopathy is genetic you wer3 born this way

[@michellebeishline4657]

Thank you for sharing. I hope you find pleasure and happiness without harming others.

[@hadleyGo9890]

If you don't mind how old was your mother when she had you in her womb and also your father on earth do you know if either you or your father on earth if your mother's were older than age 40 plus or close to that number ?

[@CovidIslandDiscs]

Wow what an amazing comment. It sounds like your overall guardian is your intellect that compensates for your missing empathy. I'm glad though that you can bond to animals. I hope that helps you experience something of love.

[@JohnWayne-86ed]

Are you sure that diagnosis was legitimate, I'm similar when it comes to emotional connection, although not an official diagnosis due to my age at the time, it was suggested I might have psychopathy, but I believe I'm just on the low end of the autism spectrum, as I've aged I feel more connected to people and animals, I just have to put effort into actually feeling for others by playing out the situation in my head with myself in the subject's position.

[@robnewsome2407]

What makes it even more complicated is someone who is psychopathic tend to be high in narcissistic traits

[@donovangray4246]

Or vice versa

[@robnewsome2407]

@@donovangray4246 yes, a psychopath is just a step up on the barely human ladder but while most psychopaths are narcissistic, a narcissist is not always a psychopath,

[@colleennobbs7218]

Oh my, so true. My ex had really strong traits from both. It was a hard road….16 years. I’m out now. Dr G has really helped me to see what I experienced and most issues were because HE WAS MESSED UP. What’s wild is how charming he was in the beginning 😢 so many things were so right. True deception!

[@Noah-gm1wb]

Could you do a video on narcissist/psychopathic parents? I would be really interested in seeing how they parent and the possible effects on their children.

[@miasma5552]

My mother is a picture perfect narc and it is insane the effects it's had on me as a son, and into my mid 20s. I'm 26. Not trying to gloat, but I'm decently intelligent and have some charismatic tendencies, so I've been told. When I'm comfortable, ppl gravitate towards me. I had tons of potential, still do but squandered most. But reason I'm saying this is, without trying to sound like I'm making excuses and whatnot, but being raised by this egg donor has objectively caused me so much mental shit it's screwed my teens and 20s thus far. Because I developed anxiety to where it seems nearly impossible to answer a phone call from a manager at pizza hut to get a job. I went to college (for what my mother forced to go for), had jobs paying my own bills, bought my own vehicles, was in numerous bands as a drummer trying to be myself, but I was put down so much and couldn't enjoy anything because the narc parent would not leave me alone, endless misery every day no matter how responsible I was doing, even while trying to satisfy her weird requirements of her son. But it was never enough and everything was hell all the time and she even slapped me in the face after I made a quite solid attempt on my own life. You will never feel like you matter to these ppl yet you'll try so hard to please them if you're a regular decent person, because of how ridiculously manipulative they are. I apologize for the long comment but this stuff hits home and maybe hearing from a victim of a narc mother could be neat. Wish I could elaborate

[@shayrenae4139]

Grant Beeson it would be intresting to chit chat with you. You hit every nail on the head( same here) except my narc mother and father were very religious....working a lot of that out to determine what I believe. I went through a peroid of being a liar when I was young just by observing my environment. As a side effect I ve become so truthful that I have to work hard to put love into it. I ve gotten really good at that now with Gods help. I ve become extreamly analytical and fact based due to gaslighting but worked with God to understand the importance of healthy religious views as narcs twist the bible to minipulate. Shame is something I really struggle with as they used this as a tool to again minipulate. Sooo much more to heal from but I am taking them one at a time..... Lots of damage done. My biggest issue is to let people in. I can be precieved as extreamly open but I listen very carefully before I give my heart away. Id like to be more vulenerable without the fear of being hurt. And....I am a reactor. I need to not react so much to crazy and try so hard to defend myself.

[@miasma5552]

@@shayrenae4139 wow the effects on you seem to be so different from mine. It's really interesting. But I bet at the root, we have more in common than we know. I've noticed a tendency to unconsciously seek out mother figures, as my mother would buy me things as a substitute for affection. This means she can say things like "I've done everything for you, you're so ungrateful." While I've just always been someone who tries to recognize what I'm blessed with, and I'll tell her that. But she'll never understand how she emotionally deprived me. But worse than deprivation, she would tell me messed up things such as "You're my only chance at a good son." This messed me up because I have a brother one yr older than me who has cerebral palsy, and the screwed up implications of telling your young son this since birth are quite deep and complex. Unfortunately the gaslighting and manipulation had the effect of me finding difficulty in even trying to love my brother. As screwed as that sounds.. but it's bled into me finding it hard to care about family stuff at all since I've been taught that every family gathering is misery because she'll make me look terrible. I've lost the family I've created myself, 2 times. Lost my first wife, lost my fiance after. Oh how complex, the effects of a narc parent.

[@miasma5552]

@@shayrenae4139 also, so that I can see your replies, hit the 3 dot icon by my message and hit reply to tag me. I saw this by chance. Idk if you know that already haha I'm just saying

[@Guppyg53]

My mom is narcissistic and denies/refuses to discuss any past abuse she did to my siblings and i In the month before i left the house for good (which she is still mad at me for leaving her side to this day) she said "if you dont do as i say and keep me happy then i wont help you with financial aid like i did for your sister and you wont be able to go to college" So i told myself well if she wont be letting me go to college anyway things cant get any worse if i leave and end up not being able to complete the financial aid forms long story short i got on my owntwo feet and the university staff had to help me fill out a dependency override..

[@gianna5869]

oh goodness i like watching these but i am starting to think my dog is a narcissist.

[@Queenbeemusic1]

I feel you hun! I'm pretty sure my cat is a narcissistic psycopath!! 🙍‍♀️😼..Be safe! Lol 💖xo

[@gianna5869]

@@Queenbeemusic1 lol..

[@Queenbeemusic1]

@@gianna5869 😂

[@matthewcallaghan1512]

I think everyone fits into these diagnoses

[@gianna5869]

@@matthewcallaghan1512 I think its more like we all can have" tendencies" towards behaviors like these. However, its not our every day nature that to me is the difference that separates people from those who are dominated by these psychological issues. They live with the disorder every day. .

[@timg6176]

Heres the thing.. Most therapists have no idea. Often times giving the wrong digonioise. Only a handful of therapists out there have the intelligence and understanding to give the correct assessment. Btw well made video, thanks.

[@chrisrodgers4950]

Digonioise is just the best thing I’ve seen on KZbin in a while. Thank you.

[@deltaxcd]

@Fluff Your Garfield I suppose you do not know how many abusers are pretending to be victims. Especially women.

[@deltaxcd]

@Goodnuff Fornow What I mean is that if you get into legal troubles like divorce or domestic abuse situation you will rarely find a psychologist who can identify the real victim and real abuser. Narcissism does not matter here. In other situations you do not need any diagnosis, you may need counseling. diagnosis is for sick people only

[@felicitascruz9395]

You have a very good "conceptual skill " Dr. Grande. i like the way you conceptualized and presented the difference between Psycopathy and Narcissism. For a person without a formal training and experience in these fields of study, i found your conceptualization effective. Thank you for making the difference understandable in just one video presentation. May your audience keep on increasing!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Felicitas Cruz,your pretty smile can make the news!

[@themadjackal7207]

I have seen numerous instances where there is a blurring of the difference between Narcissistic personality and Psychopathic personality. Thank you for breaking everything down to be easily followed.

[@danlhendl]

I would dearly like to see a DSM with all mental illnesses differentiated entirely by the Airplane! method. I think it would be a big hit!

[@lisalida6233]

All DSM'$, are money making utterly Fake, Voted in and out tripe Diagnoses, get a brain. Really Investigate how this stuff goes "in and out of fashion." There are a number of Psychiatric Specialists who aren't "bought," and have vehemently resisted the DSM'$ "PishTosh, pill-pushing, psychologizing, and Profiteering in alleged, "ubiquitous, 'Mental' health issues," Every normal response, now merits, drugs and treatments. LAUGHABLE. And yet a "convenient tool, to silence, dissidentsKGB/ Stasi/Communist Chinese just call it Re-education, our U.S.A., uses "thought reform as a silencer. Lisa (Smith) Lisa Rae Rousseau ✝️🙋 Truth

[@lisalida6233]

All DSM'$, are money making utterly Fake, Voted in and out tripe Diagnoses, get a brain. Really Investigate how this stuff goes "in and out of fashion." There are a number of Psychiatric Specialists who aren't "bought," and have vehemently resisted the DSM'$ "PishTosh, pill-pushing, psychologizing, and Profiteering in alleged, "ubiquitous, 'Mental' health issues," Every normal response, now merits, drugs and treatments. LAUGHABLE. And yet a "convenient tool, to silence, dissidentsKGB/ Stasi/Communist Chinese just call it Re-education, our U.S.A., uses "thought reform as a silencer. Lisa (Smith) Lisa Rae Rousseau ✝️🙋 Truth

[@notsigne3850]

@@lisalida6233 I dont get half of it. But you are right. DSM is not based on science. Because the science we have today corncerning our own minds has very little to do with science. It is just opinions, filosof and money that runs the show. The closesed we come to science regarding psychology and psychiatry is still Jung and Freud. Jung because he based his theory facts in human history Like all the myths and fairytales we have created. And our dreams.

[@marib.52380]

Good one! No one has ever explained this so thoroughly before. I finally understand. Thank you!

[@jolly7728]

A brilliant survey of two very complex "personality disorders." I understand a lot more about the dynamics of psychopathy and narcissism now than before I viewed this video. Really enjoyed how the prof grounded his analyses in science but kept his discourse straightforward and interesting. Great job, Dr., and thanks!

[@iPsychlops]

This is really helpful as a clinician. I appreciate you taking the time to differentiate between two differential diagnoses with specificity. Even in grad school we didn't have enough time to do this with every differential and the examples you gave made it pretty clear what traits to look for.

[@noneya9035]

This man so clearly and efficiently speaks on some illnesses and possible toxic people in our lives. It helps to wrap my brain around it through a factual, scientific perspective as opposed to a "feelings" perspective. Helps tons to make healthier decision when choosing people to become a part of our lives. Thank you

[@lalawawa9134]

super clear and useful information. I am oddly relieved that you helped me identify a narcissist and not a psychopath. still, the feeling of having been prey is overwhelmingly creepy. The term psychic vampire has new meaning for me now.

[@angelinasouren]

(( HUG )) Something similar for me. Thoroughly unsettling to realize that I have been considered prey, and even more unsettling that it was all done from a distance. Sometimes all it takes is to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and have a bad hair day. But there can be more to it than just being seen as "prey". Some people with NPD seem to be looking for someone to parent them, help stabilize them?

[@lalawawa9134]

@@angelinasouren "wrong place ... bad hair day" :) thank you for the hug!

[@jillstewart7355]

Regardless of time these videos are recorded, the learning of psychology is timeless. You, Dr. Grande, are far the best in relating to the public the complexities of the mind. I thank you for sharing your expertise in this field.

[@Kaby629]

This is spectacular. Even though I grew up with an ASPD parent, this is very effective in separating the two types of behavior.

[@TheRepublicOfUngeria]

In a nutshell: Narcissist: "I am so much better than everyone that they need to worship me." Psychopath: "I am so much better than everyone that their worship is utterly meaningless."

[@Shadow25720]

What narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths have in common, is they aren't capable of empathy, remorse and for them other people are just like figures on a chessboard.

[@MH-nw1rc]

That’s a great way of explaining the differences between the two

[@marysanders9461]

Psychopath continues: " In fact, their worship is a weakness that I can exploit--punishing them for it will be fun". That one ended up jailed--twice.

[@Zarasha1]

I think my sister and mother are both. They are also sadistic. My sister since she was little love to tell lies on people to destroy relationships, and to get people in trouble. In elementary school she falsley accused even the school nurse of sexually touching her and got her fired. She was also able to get me kicked out the house lying on me. She also steals, and many more dangerous things I don't want to say. She and my mother are just alike. It's really scary how they hurt people and feel nothing about it.

[@jaygrambling79]

As the child of a psychopath and someone who unfortunately spent every day for the last 7 years with a psychopath partner, I have to say the information in this video rang very true. In my experience, and as he touches on, the big difference between the narc and the psych is the lack of false self or protection of false self. The psychopath won't come across as overtly egotistical. They don't care. It's kind of hard to articulate, but they don't fear exposure of their despicable self in an emotional way. They're like robots. And, first hand exposure to this characteristic is extremely disturbing. They literally have no integrity whatsoever. They have no value, respect, or use for integrity in any sense of the word...be it integrity of character, honesty, loyalty, compassion...nada.

[@JKnight1316]

Can I ask you a question? Because these people tend to be very manipulative, what if you see they have a sense of self protection or social integrity towards other people, but not to the person they are abusing? Like they project a false idealized self to strangers but towards people that their "mask" comes off to they come across as extremely robotic and anti-social/completely apathetic? Would they be more narcissistic or psychopathic?

[@jaygrambling79]

I'm not a professional but what you described sounds more narcissistic to me. I'd say with either the psychopath or the narc, the sense of self protection or integrity towards other people would just be an act. In my experience, the mask rarely slips with the psychopath. They hide their true despicable selves as much as possible. In the case of the psychopath, it's not a slip of the mask in a direct sense but it's demonstrated in the total lack of accountability for their behavior and degree of callousness when confronted. Like the predators they are, they isolate and annihilate their prey. It's not until they think they've rendered their victim incapable of retaliation that they'll let the mask slip, which of course makes it an all the more traumatic experience. One thing I noticed with both the psychopaths I've dealt with is they are absolute cowards. They will NEVER let you know if they are truly angry with you. They will never confront you head on with any issues they have. They have zero integrity. Instead, they'll attempt to destroy you behind your way back in every way imaginable. This makes them much harder to identify than narcs, who are much more emotional imo. I find narcs pretty easy to spot. My father is chronicled in books on psychopaths and when my friend met him knowing his background, he commented that he seemed as sweet and nice of a guy as Santa Claus; and, that this makes him the most dangerous person he's ever met. My advice when trying to spot them...look for shallowness of emotion. Watch how they react (they don't) to powerful movies or at events like funerals. They go to great lengths to hide it well, so it can be subtle but it's there. They have no depth of emotion. Whatever emotions you do see from them are mostly mimicked, which means if you're paying close attention you'll see something's off ;-)

[@AnnaJHaha]

So well spotted, exactly so. I was so shocked facing a person with so dispicable thoughts, however, he thought he was being honest with me of his feelings and thoughts while I didn't appreciate his honesty; or rather he lied to cover his misbehaviors up in such ways that no normal human beings would possibly think of, and claimed when confronted with evidence, that he lied to protect my feelings, which showed how much he cared about me. Their logic is beyond normal people's imagination. When morality and humanity are excepted from their way of thinking, they do open an extra dimension that normal human being's thoughts cannot reach.

[@davidkepke1435]

@@jaygrambling79 They hate it when someone else tells a great joke and makes everyone laugh. They will not laugh because they wished they had told that joke and gotten all the attention.

[@deeb5688]

psychopath is void of emotion, creepy, non=empathetic, entitled, robot.

[@vincenterey1640]

I laughed so hard when you said the psychopath takes the passangers belongings and jumps out the plane 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's the funniest thing I've heard in a very long time

[@emiliadavis8247]

True!!😆😂

[@sdidora5]

Thx for including the fact that some people are jealous af but think it's not obvious. I refuse to be a victim of my narc mother tho. It's very tough however it's got to end

[@sdidora5]

@@mekerr4299 fact that my mom stole something out of my purse then explained that she thought that the lipstick didn't look as good on as she claimed. It's the little things that are eroding the relationship between us. My whole life has been a pack of lies. Long story tho

[@deltaxcd]

I just started to think about how the hell he is going to do that and who will be so stupid to give him their money or other stuff. In fact, getting the right to land the plane would be quite a big deal of its own because there will be lots of people willing to do it. and he will definitely won't get paid and not get any rewards besides maybe some chicks willing tom sleep with him is he is super lucky

[@DeuceBiggerHo]

Me too! 😂😂😂

[@grannysweet]

Hard to talk about, live thru, recover from, having one of them in your world. They leave a high body count. Thank you for the well crafted, concise , clinically correct yet totally understandable description of these demon spawn. How they work, what they do, why they do it. The pain they cause is overwhelming. 😐👍🐶

[@keywest5660]

In my opinion when they see determination and that they cannot but that they will face great losses they run litterally run. The psycho I dated and his dad who was putting him to do those things to me changed countries when I took them to courts and the police. They changed countries in order to avoid jail.

[@happilyavaafter]

Thank you, Dr G. The more questions you answer, the more that spring up in my mind. Is it possible for an individual to be both, or have definite traits of both psychopathy and NPD? My husband told me of how he once beat a dog *to death* with a stick. He was 25 years old at the time and an army officer. He said he felt threatened by the dog as he was running on a beach in Oahu one morning. He does not feel bad about this. I did not know him then, and I was there, I am not speaking from observation on that incident. He did say the dog did not attack him, but nipped at his heel as he was running. His savage response was not only unwarranted, but a murder most cruel. That is clearly the behavior of a psychopath in my opinion. That he feels no remorse or regret 40 years later is chilling. His behaviors exemplify a range of malignant narcissism, yet also vulnerable narcissism, and also cold blooded psychopathy depending on the scenario or situation. He does not lie (except by omission) and is not clever enough to master manipulate. I think he does not feel the need to manipulate because it’s his way or the highway. In other words, he is too arrogant and self righteous to waste time, energy and cunning in order to sway anyone. Things will be the way he dictates until the cows come home. He is more robotic than anything, and seemingly void of any feeling, understanding or empathy, unless it pertains to himself or his particular situation. He has the incessant need to always be right and will outright reject anything that suggests the contrary. I realize that these conditions of NPD (covert and grandiose) and psychopathy do overlap, as you stated, but after observing him for a decade, I feel he is afflicted with all 3. In some instances he cares nothing of what others think of him, and in others he becomes enraged when he feels he has not been presented (or represented) in a glowing manner. I learn more about him every day, but the more I learn, the more questions I have. I did not know he was like this in the beginning. This is a second marriage for both of us. At one point early on in the love bombing stage, he told me it would *have* to take someone like me to put up with someone like him. He was telling me without telling me. They always tell on themselves. We just don’t listen.

[@happilyavaafter]

* I was not there when he killed the dog.

[@ericlarousse1149]

You can be both.

[@Judygurl2]

A specific diagnosis matters less than whether you can tolerate his behavior.

[@horncow4160]

I've dated both a psychopath and a psychopathic narcissist. Main difference is the second guy was more impulsive, attention seeking and less clever in his manipulation. Narcissistic traits are easier to spot.

[@Judygurl2]

@@horncow4160 I agree

[@jameshagy6419]

Fascinating, the nuanced difference between these two personality disorders. I honestly believe that I have met both face to face during the course of my life. I couldn't get away fast enough...

[@cynthiaguarino2016]

Thank you for this particular video. Because my ex has both diagnosed NPD and ASPD, the confusion has always been what type he actually is, psychopath or sociopath. Your analogy about the airplane really brought some clarity to my confusion. On two separate occasions when we were travelling by plane and two times a passenger was in distress, the flight attendants asked if a physician was on board. Of course my ex being a physician was on board, but both times did not raise his hand. They kept asking desperately for help on one of the flights and finally I could stand it any longer, I raised my hand to tell them that my husband was a physician.

[@specialtwice4975]

My ex did that too a lot. Just sit there and wait for somebody else to take action or react in some way. They just sit there, staring, watching, waiting... For what? Idek. 🤷‍♀️ I found narcs do not do this, but sociopaths/psychopaths do.

[@specialtwice4975]

There is a KZbinr who was/is a flight attendant. She did a short story based on a true event that happened on her flight. The flight was getting ready to almost take off when a man comes rushing to the flight attendant. "Stop!" he shouts. "My wife isn't on board!" "Sir," the KZbin lady said. "Did she come on with you? Has she checked in? We can see if her ticket has went through." So they checked and it said the wife was on board. "Can Mrs. Smith come to the front please? Mrs. Smith please come to the front." the flight lady said over the intercom. "Don't worry sir. We have procedures and we will find your wife." 2 hrs later, at the last veryyyy back seat of the plane. "Ma'am, we have been looking ALL over for you! Why did you not come up to the front? And why are you not at your proper seat?" The wife's reply? "I was busy! Not my fault my husband is an idiot."

[@lydiapetra1211]

Thanks for sharing.....all psychopaths are narcissist but not all narcissists are psychopaths.... learned that from Dr. Robert Hare ..yeah ...he just truly didn't care....not getting paid....glad he is an ex.... Iam sure you could share plenty about him...

[@lydiapetra1211]

@@specialtwice4975 thanks for sharing.....so typical of a psychopath!!

[@keywest5660]

Leave him now

[@Tam5115]

Now I know for sure that my ex is a Sociopath, not a Narcissist. Thank you!

[@morten1]

Funny how 80% people has a psycho ex. Or maybe it's just an extreme way of seeing the ex as an asshole/bad

[@victoriamarie35]

There are Covert Somatic Narcissist Sociopaths. They can be BOTH it has recently been assessed. Look up Professor Sam Vaknin, he is an expert on Narcissism. However, I more prefer Dr. Grande’s style better and find him objective.

[@sneak9407]

​@@morten1 fun fact: the world is filled with crazy people. Most just control it well until they leave this earth.

[@swabby429]

Dr. Grande's lessons are more helpful than many others' talks I've heard because he refrains from demonizing the various traits. For instance, it's refreshing not to have to hear about "monsters" and "evil-doers".

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

One of his videos made me stop hating them. I just think to my self. This narcissistic fuel station is permanently closed.

[@janiehlagy752]

Wow, another great video. Thank you. I've been trying to decide for years if my brother is a narcissist or a psychopath, now I can see the difference. He is definitely both

[@VAISHNAVI-di7km]

😂

[@presidentresident]

17:06 I disagree here. I think its actually quite different in that Narcissists have the equipment to actually FEEL what others might be feeling, they just are essentially walled off from it because they're too busy with their twisted attempts to fulfill their own psychological needs, whereas from everything I've come across in the literature, psychopaths simply can never access the parts of the brain that would generate a sympathetic feeling of love, fear etc(if they even have that part of the brain functioning to begin with). Sort of the difference between a bridge to empathy/remorse island that is filled with treacherous potholes and has been closed, vs a non existant bridge to an island that may or may not exist.

[@reswobiandreaming3644]

I think that psychopaths are more likely to have cognitive empathy, rather then emotive empathy. The latter is what regular people have. They instantaneously feel what another person feels. Cognitive empathy is an intellectual way to emotionally relate to people, so there is a processing delay. A psychopaths someone who decides that it's just too much hassle to engage that process because their desires are more important then anything else.

[@inbornwanderlust1076]

I think both of these observations are really interesting. I'm high on the sociopath scale I believe. Emotions are extremely difficult for me, but I do not wish anyone harm. I have strong cognitive empathy. When I was young, I didn't/wasn't able yet to engage the mental processing for that, so I spent a lot of time just feeling blank and/or confused when trying to relate to people and events around me. As I age, and because I'm not at all a mean/bad person, I've worked a lot on trying to connect with that. For many things, I'm able to do it pretty quickly, within seconds or a couple mins. If it's something complex though, it usually takes me days to process, maybe longer. I DO feel. What I struggle with is explaining and/or displaying that outwardly, which is emoting I guess. So that background is where I'm coming from about this. Whenever I want to shut down a narcissist, I just throw a ton of "emotion" at them, generally unrelated to whatever emotions they are trying to stir up, and they go running for the hills and leave me with my peace. When done to another person with strong psychopathy traits, they don't disengage. They'll maybe take a pause, but will then calmly continue their quest. This has been a consistently reliable way for me to figure out what type of person I'm dealing with. It's a mechanism I really never understood until watching this video, but now I think it must have a lot to do with the dominance factor. I think I learned this technique accidentally when trying to mirror and figure out my own emotions, and really never understood why it worked, but I just know it does, so that's usually what I'll do if a narcissist is pestering me. So I agree with you that the narcissist is actually feeling in these moments but doesn't want to, so they vanish. While if I choose to put off processing the feelings they are attempting to trigger me with it simply does not work for them.

[@luckyduckydaisyflower2344]

This is truly thought provoking! I'll be considering this theory for years to come.. cool

[@wirelesmike73]

Based on the replies to this comment, I can see why this is such a complicated subject. I've always been of the belief that the "inability" to connect to or fully and genuinely feel emotions to be more of a Psychotic trait, but only for more pro-social emotions, like empathy, concern for others - especially those weaker than themselves, or love and personal connection (at least, a healthy form of it, anyway). But, psychopaths do feel emotions like anger, jealousy, desire, and fear (more likely the fear of loss rather than fear of others or dangers to themselves or others). This would seem to indicate that the part of the brain that processes emotions is there, and at least partially functional, but the pathways to access or communicate with that part of the brain are limited by the desires or needs of the individual. It seems as though those neural pathways are learned or trained detours around those emotions that the individual feels would limit them in some way, and therefore disconnected rather than nonexistent. More of an inability to process or control the emoutions they do feel rather than feeling nothing, and lacking those conflicting emotions that would stop some people from acting in a way that would be harmful to others. One might say that those conflicting emotions are part of what constitutes guilt in many people without either condition. Where anger or jealousy may cause a brief or fleeting desire to seek revenge on someone or inflict harm, it's the direct and open pathways to the centers of the brain that house empathy, sorrow, guilt, and the desire for emotional connection that balance out their behavior by presenting limitations on where and how far they allow their thoughts and feelings to go in any negative direction that could be harmful. If that's the case then that would mean that not allowing or using those pathways could eventually lead to a permanent or semi-permanent loss of functionality of those parts of the brain. One could either be born that way or be conditioned to be that way over time, or, even later in life. Psychopathy could then, in some cases, be considered to be more akin to a defense mechanism than a deficiency of function, whereas narcissism would be a (for lack of a better term) abnormality. I mean to say that a narcissist is more likely to be born a narcissist, whereas a psychopath can be either born or conditioned to be a psychopath over time. ??? Maybe??? IDK, (edit) - _I could be completely wrong about all of this, and I likely am._ I'm neither a Dr. or a student. And I certainly don't mean to hurt or offend anyone with my attempt to guess at any of this.

[@wirelesmike73]

@@inbornwanderlust1076 Please don't be offended by my suggestion that what you describe sounds almoast like being somewhere on the spectrum of autism or Aspergers. Do you ever feel uncomfortable with social or physical contact or engaging in physical displays of affection from or with others? Do you even feel affection for others - human or animal?

[@kylewood2851]

Spot on! It really irks me when people use psychopath as a broad generalizations, and this video shows the distinctions!

[@Harbaksh1234]

The Airplane analogy, is fantastic!

[@cognitiveimpact5929]

Thank you so much for this. Emotion vs. Material, simplistic, yes, but such an important distinction. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you.

[@michaelnewcomb248]

Thanks doc. Confirms my wife is a self-righteous narcissist. Makes me even happier I live 400 miles away from her.

[@dianahummel1874]

Thank you, Dr. Grande. That made things very clear. I became interested in the subject of personality disorders in early adulthood. Searched for answers just a bit whe. I was a young mother. My father was eitber a psychopath, or a narcissistic sociopath. There were 5 children in my family, born from 1955 to 1962. He spent time in Leavonworth and then Folsom prison for murder of a U.S. Attorney. So, when I was about 54, I purchased a book entitled Evil Genes, author Barbara Oakley. I got to page on Narcissistic Personality Disorder which described my son in law exactly. He fit all of the character traits in the DSM. The first day that I met him, I said to my husband, " Something is creepy about him. He reminds me of my father." I warned my daughter not to see him. He stalked her when she tried to break it off. She was 20. He 28 and separated. Left his pregnant wife after she caught him cbeating with a coworker. He was a cop. My daughter was not the woman coworker. Long story short, she married him. Coparented his first 3 kids. Then had 4 of her own. I never liked him and since my husband and I were involved grandparents, saw him often which made tbe past 19 years of my life miserable. I was polite and kind to him. We even bought a brand new house for them and the kids, because he could not qualify for a loan. Three yrs ago my daughter filed for divorce when he left the family for a long time supply who my naive trusting daughter knew nothing about. He has been dragging on the divorce for 3 yrs out of revenge for her filing for divorce. Parental Alienation is his weapon of choice. My grandchildren are being emotionally and psychologically abused. I watch your channel often and you have answered all if my questions.

[@danstar455]

Thank you for explaining the difference between Psychopathy and Sociopathy

[@mandymulders1]

Only discovered you today! I suppose the hurting of animals and bullying children would fall under the 'forceful dominance' right? Resulting in Aggression.... And in front of someone else to make a point would be also 'forceful dominance' but more intimidation? Fascinating clips...

[@donnadixon289]

Very clear descriptions for the lay person. I truly believe such basic psychology should be mandatory for all high school teens. Far too many people become involved with personality disordered individuals without even knowing such individuals exist.

[@admorgz]

I agree

[@admorgz]

I agree, they're everywhere

[@davidhorobin1060]

Absolutely yes. How did I survive into my 60’s before learning of such things? I’ve been lucky not to have encountered such people (until recently). Boy, they can screw up your life. Best learn early how to spot them at a distance.

[@lillyjacob1134]

Absolutely brilliant and educational video, thank you! I've asked many criminology graduates and a few psychologists and councillors what the differences are between NOD, sociopathy and psychopathy. None could say, one video by Dr Ramani does indicate psychopaths are born while sociopaths and NPD are made. She also points out there is a gradient of remorse/empathy (though scarily minimal at the best case) in that psychopaths are completely devoid of it, sociopaths are capable but it's extremely rare and NPD do have it from time to time but mostly when it's tied to something of self gaining. For example feeling like a better person/ego boost by 'caring' or being 'humble' but it's always self serving in some way. Your video is the first thorough and clear explanation I've heard, thank you! ✨

[@lesleys515]

Wow! Some of these comments are made by either clueless or narcissistic people. Thank you for your wise reasoning Dr Grande.

[@barbaranichols7024]

Love this. I'm a psychologist and have studied psychopathy but your well ordered description has made a very complex topic accessible and logical. Thanks.

[@OrderRealm]

I lived with a narcissist. We did not get along. I gave him absolutely nothing he wanted.

[@tbd5082]

It doesn’t matter what they “have,” just get away from them.

[@JaneDoe-ip5yl]

TBD-yes!

[@kuolettavaVids]

Why did you even click on the video then?

[@rachelchristie1793]

My goodness, so true!

[@samuelsurbrook1428]

YES!

[@rs5570]

I think you’re missing the commenter’s point.

[@samantha5600]

My kids and I have anxiety and I literally had to explain to my ex what it feels like to have anxiety. He looked at me like I was insane, he could NOT understand. He said he's never felt a racing heart or fear. Another time I was in the ICU and he left me to go to work, he even told our kids I was exaggerating my illness to get attention. He is most definitely a psychopath and a very successful person in his career. I am so glad that he is my ex. Thank you for this informative video!

[@me6271]

Well that's a lie, psychopaths get racing heart, sweaty palms etc. Just not the emotional fear

[@samantha5600]

@@me6271 guess he's a liar too

[@DorothyCPincus]

I dealt with a combo of both during the lockdown and it ended up being the worse work situation ever. Thank God for my support systems. Being Complacent thinking it will never happened to me. Well letting my guard down could have caused me great danger. Thank you for breaking it down. You didn’t miss anything.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@satadaldeb4871]

I'm a 58 yrs old man and have been in teaching profession many years. More over I'm a short story writer. In my life I've seen so many such types of characters. Often I get frustrated why are they not changing ?After having watched your videos I'm getting peace of mind. In my opinion this subject should be taught in every school at least just basic ideas. Thank you very much doctor!

[@staciecs77]

They don’t want to change

[@shannon8315]

Covert narcissists are very cold and calculating.

[@mr.lucifer9735]

What is a "covert narcissists"

[@qiuwbr091]

It’s possible that covert narcissists get addicted to social games easily. They fake social wounds so they have a reason to become sycophant to worse narcissists.

[@dreamceline2093]

Shannon Nelson the worse kind

[@mr.lucifer9735]

@Majic C You can take it from my handle I've always fancied evil

[@anglo-saxon9182]

@Majic C yh and they slander and lie about you when you expose thier secret

[@CesarGonzalez-te6ek]

I use to be a Narcissist, but now I'm perfect.

[@jouvani332]

I like you

[@reannamesa7245]

Lmaooo

[@slappy8941]

I'm far too good of a person to be narcissistic.

[@Thelikebutton123]

🤣

[@janinagoodman4156]

Haha😂

[@frantisekvtelensky820]

This channel is my new daily drug. 😊 I like your calm presentation btw. 👍

[@sunneinsplendour8459]

This is seriously on of the most well-informed and informative channels on abnormal psychology out there. Thank you.

[@littleangel18]

Narcissists seek narcissistic supply from the external. Psychopaths are entirely goal orientated, they don’t need supply and no one will stand in their way from achieving their goals.

[@robweissman5952]

Narcissist = Superhero wannbe... Psychopath = Super villain wannabe.

[@t5396]

Not always wannabes.

[@yasminvillanueva3141]

More like the other way around

[@fernandovega5855]

They both gaslight and prefer a one way conversation from them outward.

[@yomama6350]

That would make a wonderful essay. Have fun. Always

[@joosebeats]

@@arnonuhm4022 lol he meant swap the hero/villain parts for psyc/narc

[@irenebuford8930]

Dr. Grande to answer your question about signs you may have missed... You said mostly everything, but being someone that has interacted with both psychopaths and narcissist throughout my lifetime and having them in my family element... The psychopath is much more calmer and genuinely giving and the communication is much better because the psychopath is much more intelligent than a narcissist, narcissist are ticking time bombs that love to argue because they are always getting narcissist injuries from people... I actually feel much safer around the psychopath as long as their addiction and desires are not killing people... I love talking to psychopaths because at least they are intelligent enough to offer cognitive empathy even though the psychopath may not really be bothered emotionally that your relative passed away, at least the psychopath can look you in the eye with that little cute smile and say, Oh Irene, I am so sorry to hear that your relative passed away versus if I tell the narcissist that my relative passed away the narcissist just remains in a rush to get to the gas station to put gas in their vehicle so the narcissist can get to their next supply source, so the narcissist may then say, by the way Irene tell your relative hello even though I just clearly stated to the narcissist that my relative just died, the psychopath has a much sharper memory versus the narcissist forgets your name.. You did not mention hygiene, but their hygiene is a tell tell sign also, a narcissist will dress up dirt, for example a narcissist will not bath or shower but will put on an expensive suit versus a psychopath will be clean from inside out and will dress dressy casual and smell so good and make a woman want to kidnap him... lol... I can aways tell the difference between the narcissist and psychopath by hygiene, narcissist also hoard more things versus psychopaths hoard money in their bank accounts.... I hope this helps... Excellent Video Dr. Grande...

[@oscarmaidana9294]

The question ending this video for me is ... Why clinitians say "all psychopaths are narcicistic" all the time if they seem so different in the core???

[@louiekrousoratis6787]

Thanks for your videos they help me clear what type of person that i was dealing with. Which i have since disconnected myself from becuase being around a person like that had a negative effect on my own mental wellbeing even to the point of getting physical problems manifesting. Im talking about someone who is always right, always having a need to try to control people around him through intimidation (but only the ones he has sized up and feels he can dominate ) and lacks any ampathy towords others around him. He also seems to have a cruel streak on him where he will use his position to exact cruel punishments to those closest to him even. That is only the start of this person who oviously has alot of deep seated issues.

[@embrykendrick4517]

This was enlightening and helpful. Years ago I read Cleckley and Thigpen's Mask of Sanity and later Wilson's My 7 Convicts. Doubtless the latter lead me into what became a 30 year career as a prison optometrist. Many charts have a diagnosis of PD. It seems that I'm seeing at least two different people with the same diagnosis. One enters the office and seems to expand to fill the room. Next comes the statement of what he/she expects me to do for them. The second type enters and tries to convince me that they are better educated than I am, using incorrect medical vocabulary and offering an impossible ocular history. When pressed to clean up the history, various, obvious lies are offered. Never a dull moment. Thanks for this video. I believe I almost understand a bit more about my patients.

[@mysterymeat586]

When you mentioned "expectation of loyalty" and "entitlement" as it pertains to narcissism, you'll never guess who popped into my head.

[@infinitejest441]

🤡 bigly

[@alepta8476]

I'm so pleased to have happened upon your channel, Dr. Grande. I just binge listened to several with good content and presented in a way that is accessible to those of us who are "lay people"; if that's still a term. And thankyou for providing some clarity to the NLP trend. Cheers:)

[@nicmcconchie2199]

You are a truly fantastic speaker and you come across as extremely knowledgeable Dr. Grande. Pkease keep up the informative and interesting videos.

[@Riox147]

Wow! I had to listen a couple of times. I have known both. I was in a relationship with a narcissist and didn't know it until we had separated and I became aware of the psychopath after listening to your explanation of the differences. Thanks so much! My own theory on how they become the way they do is their level of sensitivity. I believe these people have felt trauma so deeply that they either knowingly chose to shut off their empathy or they have had some kind of trauma to their brain that has somehow suppressed or changed their capacity for empathy maybe? and their brains ability to circumvent the trauma in order to process emotion normally... this particular theory on the heals of listening to a Ted Talk about psycho-actives on the brain and the neuro-plasticity it has and how much more "plastic" it is when we are younger. Thank you for NOT saying that people are born this way... something I think so-called "experts" should not say. I could see how it might seem that way and there may be something that damaged the brain in utero (drug use?) that could facilitate being born like that but just overall, I think it's all in the trauma that is not dealt with at the time and who's going to know how people have been traumatized when it could be just being born?! You know? I love psychology and have worked with my own extensively... no formal study.

[@gigiarmany]

unfortunately its very hard to find a licensed & qualified counselour (as you recommend) who knows his way around narcissism,but the awareness is now growing thx to social media,YT & great content like Dr.Sam Vaknins & yours ..thx Dr.Grande

[@NoahVaile]

Thank you, Doctor. I am a recent subscriber and am avidly going through your back-catalogue with great interest - hence my commenting on a video from 2019... In my research for a true crime book, I've been interested in understanding the distinction(s) between psychopathy and sociopathy, and though I've looked in many other places, this video has finally and succinctly explained that to me. Your videos excel in this regard (succinct explanation, that is), as well as (particularly in the case of your various celebrity profiles) being highly entertaining. I would love to see an in-depth breakdown purely on the facets of Primary and Secondary Psychopathy as a stand-alone video - unless of course you can point me to one that already exists? I particularly enjoy that you have taken the time to cover various Australian cases! Some weird stuff definitely goes on down here, but most channels tend to focus on their own countries of origin, so it's nice to see your perspective on these, too. Your work is always excellent, informative and professional, and I - like many others, apparently - am grateful for all the time you dedicate to your channel, and to your subscribers. Keep up the great work.

[@lauragodines8939]

I left my narcissist boyfriend 4 months ago..i always asked my self if he was ..or is a sociopath..but now i know the difference between the two..thank you for explaining this terms..you could be potentially be saving people's lives..

[@christianpulisic7784]

Laura Godines,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@lauragodines8939]

@@christianpulisic7784 hola...thanks for the flowers. Do you consider yourself a narccisist men or not? Just curious..

[@edeypodey2224]

​@@lauragodines8939 hmm good question....

[@toyanajackson4514]

Very interesting. ....I really enjoyed the way both the psychopath and narcissis was broken down in much detail.

[@samcad-ho3ze]

The Airplane! fantasy scenarios are pathetically hilarious in a way. Love it. The narc one cracks me up and I don’t know why?

[@fabianquirogatellez511]

More of this channels are clearly a good point to start for talking about this interesting topic, I actually learn more about this interesting conditions.

[@ASM881]

What’s funny to me, as a psych undergrad, is the extant unto which “qualified clinicians” often disagree with one another. It makes one wonder about the validity of the DSM on the whole.

[@butterfly7624]

Psychology isn't always as black and white as we'd like it to be, plus each professional has their own theories on mental illnesses and how they come about. I wouldn't say that those factors negate anything though.

[@bethocdunwitty6641]

You're doing alot of analysis and going in to depth. It would help your audience if you wrote it down on a white board. Something to think about from a retired public educator :)

[@janeyd5280]

Bethoc Fontenoc Just what I was thinking. x

[@GeronimoKennel]

Good old fashioned... hear it, read it, write it.

[@metajohnston9177]

BTW.....when spelling "a lot" it is two words.

[@alicedoopa5500]

@@metajohnston9177 Are you freaking kidding me? Really? Which one are you, psychopath or narcissist? OMG! Go sit down. You're on the wrong thread for a comment like that. Perhaps you're on the right thread. YOU are what we're all talking about here. YOU are the topic!

[@rosannalara3389]

Another great video dr. Grande! This is the first time I heard a dr. who diligently dissected these two types of mental disorders, their overlapping traits and traits unique to each other. Do you have any video that tackles on how can we have more people to understand, believe and empathized with the true victims of the subtle and insidious harm these horrible people do? Or though they could no longer change, how would it be possible for more people to know them, since their sadistic personalities are shown in the privacy of the home? So dangerous and slowly killing!

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

I 100% agree with you re fantasies of success with psychopaths! My ex is absolutely driven by several fantasies of success. And absolutely true about envy not being big with psychopaths. I thought my ex was a narcissist, but he wasn't envious (my sister is) and I really didn't detect low self esteem during my 4 confusing years with him. While he has certainly exhibited many narcissistic traits, it seemed he was something other than narcissistic. Learning about psychopathy, all the bells started dinging. Manipulative for material gain, the extreme desire for money, the pathological lying and pathological sexual promiscuity...oh, he ticks it all. He's a psychopath with narcissistic traits.

[@sascha2634]

And as a woman you liked his traits like all women secretly do, lol-

[@staceystrukel1917]

@@sascha2634what a stupid comment. So what do you say to all the men that fall for these women? These people are con artists and liars.

[@MS-sr6mj]

​@@sascha2634Found the commenter who needs therapy...

[@michaelpittman7683]

Is it just me or is anyone else recognizing this articulate, phonate,pronounced,intellectual, fluent and amazingly smooth spokesman.

[@MB-pf7gv]

A budding bromance?

[@littleangel18]

Good lecture. Prof Sam Vaknin Is great at breaking these complex disorders down in detail.

[@div7012]

If you try to cut ties between them and you, they will go at any extent to get you into their drama again....being around them can affect our mental health...

[@anjachan]

I will never go back to the person I know ...

[@nodnarbregztem8546]

"Surely you aren't a narcissist." "I am a narcissist, and don't call me Shirley."

[@hackedagain3421]

😂👍

[@fin183]

hahaha

[@michelemurphy3541]

☠️🤣

[@rs5570]

You British are hilarious.

[@zaheerahman7266]

A true narcissist would deny that they are

[@janetkendle2073]

I was married to a vulnerable Narcissist for 25 yrs. He committed suicide 9 yrs ago. I still live with the aftermath of it.

[@theliftexpert]

Janet King ....you can heal this mental wound and be present for yourself, if you are prepared to do the research and work ! This type of trauma makes you totally disconnect from yourself and you need to reconnect with yourself in the present! Research , Dr. Gabor Mate ....he is an expert on childhood trauma,which causes adult trauma and the resulting behaviours ,consequences and addictions. You’re going to understand your husbands behaviour.....your behaviour....and the resulting trauma you are experiencing. I have found his presentations have allowed me to reconcile my entire life ,my traumatized brain,make sense of it all and I’m standing here strong,calm ,clear and comfortable with myself and enjoying life in peace for that first time ever ! Best wishes 🙏✨ hope this helps you in someway.....

[@susanbowman3865]

It’s important to remember that on a soul level as divine eternal souls we are aware of as well as carefully select the experiences/life events/obstacles we wish to have during this lifetime PRIOR to our reincarnating. So every experience in your life, good or bad, holds a much deeper meaning for you. We have the opportunity to learn and grow spiritually from all of our experiences in our lifetime. Everything has a purpose, nothing is random and everything holds meaning for us. Or as they say, life isn’t happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you.❤️

[@jessoftherocks]

Not a narcissit, he was borderline

[@ali_haidar_313]

@@jessoftherocks Vulnerable narcissism overlaps with Borderline Personality Disorder

[@ronobrien7187]

This video gives me a better understanding of someone I work with. When I better understand their motivation, I understand better how to deal with them.

[@sprezzatura8755]

I just love doctor Grande's no-nonsense deadpan delivery. Reminds me of bit of Bob Newhart.

[@janetsteele8803]

This has been so helpful. I found the description and distinction of each very accurate. I was trying to understand the relationship I had with someone who had been presenting all these signs. This was very informative thank you!

[@MetteC5]

Thank you for this interesting video, Dr. Grande. I'd like you to explore the "lack of empathy" further. Indeed, many narcissists (talking about narcissists because that's what I know at the cellular level: I grew up with narcissistic parents - yes, both of them! Of course, they ended up splitting: it's difficult for a solar system to have 2 suns..) know that lack of empathy is characteristic to identify them as narcissists. So, drawing on their manipulative skills, they *_feign empathy_* - ex. by taking the central, key, widely acclaimed, ego feeding role in an NGO saving African children (while having no empathy whatsoever for their own sick child). In other words, one has to look beyond the surface to identify lack of empathy. Please underline this to viewers so that they aren't manipulated by a narcissist feigning empathy.

[@ColdOne234]

A lot of useful info, thank you for clarifying a murky situation for me and my family. Hopefully we can patch a few things up over time.

[@claudiabTV]

Excellent - I finally get it, way more. Thank you! The movie example was brilliant. Plus difference bw emotional/social-driven rewards and motivation of narcs vs psychopaths less caring of what people think or feel Nailed it, as usual. You're a total gift ❤

[@MarioPalaciosTherapyLosAngeles]

Great video Dr. Grande. Psychopath and narcissists share some pathology including no empathy, manipulation, no accountability for their actions and of course their " charming personality."

[@birkit1133]

These are some excellent analogies and descriptions. Love the Airplane example!

[@myrahouse2368]

Thanks 🙏 I’m a codependent (I’ve recently found out 😬 ) and a Narcissist romantic ‘survivor’ I sometimes feel I want to be how he was with me, because he’s so addictive, it clearly works to get people to love you. Ie the love bombing and fake mirroring etc. Any one get what I mean.... but then I can’t hurt anyone consciously ☹️ but I think it’s clever how they absolutely fool you.

[@forray_forever]

Glad I found your channel. This is excellent, well informed content. Thank you for sharing.

[@nikkic83]

I have had the unfortunate experience of being in a relationship with someone whom I believe has primary Psychopathy and someone with narcissism. Dr. Grande is spot on and I couldn’t agree more with his explanation.

[@mireilleblacke6567]

Your "pilot/airplane" distinction between those with NPD vs. psychopathy is outstanding. I hope you don't mind if I quote you to other clinicians/healthcare providers who would benefit from it!