How to Write a Strong First Line

[@hatezis]

I really like Gibson's first line in Neuromancer: "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel"

[@Reedsy]

That's a wonderful example of strong imagery to start!

[@j.humphries8893]

First34 I read that last week

[@ludwigvanel9192]

Sadly, it is now dated. How many people are familiar with analog television? Still, Gibson couldn't know at the time. And it might still be a great novel (on my 'to read'-list)

[@philipclayberg4928]

@@ludwigvanel9192 I've read and re-read it many times. I hope you'll enjoy it (or you already have). My only regret about the book is that it isn't longer.

[@brians132]

Apparently he redrafted that intro over 20 times before he was satisfied with it. Sometimes it's good to be a perfectionist...

[@manymusings]

My favorite first line comes from Darkfever by Karen Marie Moning. "Any day nobody's trying to kill me is a good day in my book."

[@Reedsy]

That's a great one!

[@sobojetty]

I like it. Keep going!

[@ac_xoffical]

Love ❤️

[@andrejparunovic]

"I find it difficult to drink next to dying children." - Earth and Mars, by me

[@fatbitch7168]

Wow kfkdkd that's catchy as fuck XD

[@Skiana]

amazing.

[@jxoosy]

this is amazing!! i would love to read it, do you have a link?? it sounds amazing!!

[@andrejparunovic]

​@@jxoosy I could send the story but the issue is it turned out boring, not to mention poorly written. I wrote it before I knew how to write. - I mean I still don't, but now I know how not to write. The first line promises much, but delivers little. Anyways, I won't completely leave you hanging, so here are some bits from Earth and Mars that aren't cringeworthy; mostly the first and last sentences of paragraphs. What ever you think is between these beginnings and ends is better then the reality. Earth and Mars I find it difficult to drink next to dying children. This whiskey looks like poison, smells like poison, tastes like poison and burns my throat like flaming petrol; even so, none of the alcohol contains poison, only everything else does. Preparing to die is a strange business, when you are in love. Then we look up. The bloody eye in the sky creeping bigger. We wait. The house starts to shake under pressure from more water gushing in the streets and bashing against its wooden frame. The flat red circle in the sky dents and turns into a ball, and now it doesn’t feel like it`s getting bigger - now it`s getting closer. The blood soaked bloody eyeball in the lemonade sky can`t fit inside a field of vision. On the other side, a darkness bridges the gap between Earth and Mars. Star colored roots sprout out of grounds far away in the blackness and in momentary bursts latch themselves to Mars to explode and dissipate. From where Quebec use to be, I catch with my eye the first photons of an interplanetary spark that will extinguish life.

[@jxoosy]

​@@andrejparunovic oh my gosh! its not bad at all, in fact it's not poorly written, its beautiful! thank you for sharing your words. I am appreciative of your getting back to me!

[@vnuiee]

I think Gone Girl’s first line “When I think of my wife, I always think of her head.” first line is an example of a great strong and intriguing first line that sets up a relationship and draws in the reader and makes you go “huh?” :•)

[@IndianOutlaw1870]

'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.'

[@AlbaPoulzen]

First line: I hide under the bed and close my eyes tightly, afraid he’ll find me-he always does. From my book 📖 I don't know how good it is 😅

[@anactualtemplarknight3246]

*_"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."_* - Gabriel Garcia Marquez. _One Hundred Years of Solitude._ Arguably the best opening line for any book ever, certainly my favourite book of all time.

[@sallyh8400]

Yep, probably the greatest first line ever. Or at least my favourite. Ditto the book.

[@jonathantaman7566]

Legit, that line has always stuck with me. And I’ve never read the book. That’s how good it is.

[@abhirami8353]

i loved this book, i had forgotten I read it

[@inkbythebarrelandpaperbyth6905]

Well I read this one sin short story in the novel back in college and it was amazing. I guess thanks to you I'm going to have to read it again. Thank you haha

[@leomeza1321]

“I’m a rich man, a poor man, and a liar.”

[@antoinettesingleton9935]

If that's your first line then I am hooked!

[@savagenovelist2983]

Antoinette Singleton How does this sound?: “A man ran up to the stage, fought the guards, and shot President Mitchell in the head.”

[@Metalhammer1993]

@@savagenovelist2983 that one is too in the face. And a bit too reminiscent on history. The I think it was president Lincoln?

[@brycesonflowers8758]

My favorite first line is from the book of 1st Kings: "David was now very old and no matter how many blanket covered him, he could not keep warm!"

[@angelareed6775]

Gosh, I literally did the first one 🤦🏻‍♀️ now I know why agents have declined. Thanks for this info

[@antoinettesingleton9935]

Try again. Someone will say yes!

[@Metalhammer1993]

my mistake always. i personally like it, but well it won´t grabn anyone but me, so I wouldn´t even send something of that is too "fluffy" in the beginning. well i need to finish something before I send it off anyway^^

[@luciddreamer616]

"When killing a nun, it is important to bring an army of sufficient size."

[@Reedsy]

That is a pretty excellent first line.

[@andrejparunovic]

Damn it. I wanna read the rest of that now. Don`t leave me stranded here, I wanna read more!

[@luciddreamer616]

It was the first line of Red Sister, by Mark Lawrence,@@andrejparunovic. And so far the series has been incredible. Has to be one of the most epic first lines I've ever read, so I figured I'd share it here.

[@sobojetty]

I am hooked. Keep going!!

[@gothicwriter9897]

Great video. You can't beat: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." Add to that the last line of the book (A Tale of Two Cities) "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." You'd have to go a long way to beat them.

[@deepakm3981]

I'm planning to start my novel with a 'stream of consciousness', (an adolescent girl's thoughts as she's journeying by train) and I'll need to ensure its intriguing and not confusing! I had been pondering over the opening for a while and got this idea while watching this video! Thanks!!! And thanks for all the amazing content! They have been of great help!

[@marianalemos4636]

how is your novel going?? did you finish it??

[@tarikbouchnayf]

At some point in the future, we see a lot of great writers thanks to you! we can't thank you enough for these inspiring advices

[@Alkemisti]

When I read _1984,_ I didn't think much of the thirteen o'clock expression. That is the European (at least Nordic) way to say that it's one PM.

[@cynthialopez1644]

My favorite first line is, "Dying isn’t the hardest thing you’ll ever do-living is." Sterling (Mageri Series Book 1) by Dannika Dark

[@mystic_tacos]

I have SO many favorite first lines from books, but this is the first one to jump to mind. Probably since I just finished reading the series recently. “The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed” The Gunslinger by Stephen King

[@lazyrmc]

Favorite opening line too, really memorable

[@amandastewart369]

Love that series!

[@DearPaperMoon]

I quite like the first line of The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. "If it had not rained on a certain May morning, Valancy Stirling's whole life would have been entirely different."

[@amy-suewisniewski6451]

A first line I found striking was from Lauren Oliver's "Broken Things": "Five years ago, when I had just turned thirteen, I killed my best friend." It was the reason I bought the book, and the whole first chapter had me hooked. A first line feom me currently is "The pearls were missing from the upstairs bureau". Who knows if it will make it past edits, but so far I like it.

[@HandbrakeBiscuit]

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and as the time on the clock struck thirteen, on that bright cold day in April, all children, except one, grew up..."

[@luckychery8917]

“The Past Is A Foreign Country; They Do Things Differently There”

[@jayp.7042]

One of my favorite first lines: "I was not sorry when my brother died" Tsitsi Dangarembga, Nervous Conditions

[@agnel9850]

"When they killed Mark I didn't look away, I wanted to see him die after what he did to sophie". What do you thing guys???

[@samdolinger973]

Halow Walker I like it a lot, but I’d edit it to end after “what he did” instead of what he did to Sophie. I like the added mystery of not having even the slightest clue what mark did or who he did it to

[@Mindfookfilms]

Very good.

[@ojxolape]

Nice but what I noticed is that because I don’t know who these names are, the reader might hardly care. I think it might be different if they seemed like random people. So for example, “after what he did to his sister or to my sister”. Then I’d be intrigued...

[@arshthakur5739]

“ When they killed Mark I didn’t look away”. Just stop at that, it’s a really good first line if you stop there. The rest just kills it.

[@MrK.A]

@@arshthakur5739 agreed. These second half is not only weaker but it's actually a second sentence. The comma shouldn't be in between.

[@writerdannyraye]

This was so helpful! Thank you so much! I have been stressing so much about my first line that it has consumed me for two weeks. I feel much more confident after this. Thank you!! ☺☺🙏🙏

[@karen_tendo09xd17]

"Love without built-up reason is just mashing two strangers together." - Me

[@Pharaoh_Tutankhamen]

Like mashed potatoes

[@stacyg585]

I would say that it's possible to bend these rules a little and still end up with a memorable opening sentence. For example, in Kafka's "The Metamorphosis," the first line starts with the rather mundane action of the main character waking up in the morning, but ends with him discovering he's transformed into a bug.

[@rebecca4281]

I love the prose of Diane Setterfield in The Thirteenth Tale First line: Through the glass in the door it cast a foolscap rectangle of paleness onto the wet pavement, and it was while I was standing in that rectangle, about to turn my key in the door, that I first saw the letter. Of course, I had to look up what a foolscap was lol

[@nomochord3364]

The first line for my new WIP is "The silence rang in my ears, until the sirens went off."

[@StuntedSlime]

"The wind flowed spraying like into Digimon's face but he was not interested." Is the strongest first line in all fiction. I will never forget it.

[@eugenaymakok2713]

Thank you Shaelin

[@drmmr561]

Thank you for posting! Really helped take some pressure off myself.

[@RocketJo86]

Peter S. Beagle: The Last Unicorn. "The unicorn lived in a lilac wood and she lived all alone." Actually I feel like Beagle did in almost all cases a great job in establishing a foreign world and a more melancholic tone in every one of his works. But this one really striked me.

[@The_Novu]

Putting this much importance on a first line is a mistake and ends up with people trying way too hard. This is how your prose ends up reading like a fifteen year old's fanfiction. A lot of famous writers have rather simple writing styles and while others might be more or less ornate, trying too hard to be someone else is not a good idea. Read good books and don't be afraid of being simple, as that's usually better than trying to be someone you're not. "Andre Christian was bleeding to death" for example, is a fine line. Simple and straight to the point.

[@kmundwiller3936]

I wish I could share my 1st line..but its provocative. But I think I have the elements there and Im VERY excited!

[@RosetheBookDragon]

"Peasants, farmers, and commoners alike crowd around the dais, their yellow faces grim and set as the vehicle with the prisoner glides forward." This is the first line in my book, which is high fantasy with some sci-fi elements. I've been working on it for awhile, so feedback would be appreciated.

[@ludwigvanel9192]

I gotta say: it doesn't feel as if coming from a POVC, it feels a bit too much like telling. I like "Method acting for writers" by Lisa Hall-Wilson. It taught me a lot about Deep Point of View, which improved my writing bigly. The situation you paint is intriguing, though.

[@a.y.greyson9264]

This is good, and I'm a developmental editor.

[@patnull]

Hi, Rose. I like the situation this first line introduces. I like the questions this arises in my mind as I'm wondering who the prisoner is, what is going to happen to him/her. and why the crowds are milling around as the prisoner glides forward. I'm just wondering if it can be more impactful. I'm not to crazy about your use of present tense(I write in past tense), but I'll leave that up to people with more experience than I to answer whether or not a manuscript written in present tense by a first time author is more likely to be rejected by an agent than one written in past tense. I have some questions. What is your voice? Is it omniscient? Third person limited? The reason why I'm asking is because I'm getting a tone of omniscient from the first line because you start the story from an outside view, and thus I don't really feel connected to the story because I'm, er...outside, looking in. I want to be drawn in, I want to be a part of the action. If this is purposeful, if it's omniscient, then please disregard everything else. I can't help you because I only write in third person limited. If it's third person limited, I would focus on a particular character(by name) and what they are feeling in this moment, since this is a highly emotional, perhaps volatile, situation. The second question I would ask is who is the POV of your story? The prisoner? Someone in the crowd? I would focus on that and what they're feeling. Thirdly, is the prisoner marching toward his death, or something else? Whenever you include death, like Shaelin mentioned, that is a compelling hook. EXS: "Waylan stared at the crowds outside the bars of his moving prison as it bounced along the uneven dirt road toward his death." Or: "The prison transport rumbled along toward the execution site, and Melvin couldn't be happier." Then, in the next line, you could talk about the crowds and evoke a little bit of imagery to set the scene. Anyways, I don't know what you were going for, but I hoped this helped somewhat. Take care.

[@edenmckinley3472]

I like it. It isn't the smoothest read since I get hung up on vehicle but that's just me being picky. It sets up intrigue that makes me want to read more.

[@theboogyman569]

My story wakes up on the shores of Acheron(AKA he just died) and this video made me realize why I can’t get a first sentence! What’s interesting about the scene isn’t that he’s woken up someplace new, it’s that he’s DEAD and knows it. My issue is I looked at “woke up dead” and say woke up first when dead is what should come first in order to hook the readers

[@lauralai9694]

Thank you! Great video! From the classic writers, in terms of setting up an interesting character, I like the way Maksim Gorky opens 'Foma Gordeev'; in terms of voice, I like the way Charles Dickens starts the story of 'David Cooperfield.'

[@GaleMarie]

"It was dark inside the wolf." - Margaret Atwood Master Class

[@rhythmofheaven1489]

How’s this kid so genius again?

[@ClementineEcho]

"Don't start with dialogue." Orson Scott Card: I tell you this is the one.

[@lennartforsman2553]

The best from another writer in my own translation from Spanish: "The day when they were going to kill Santiago he woke up at 5.30 in the morning to wait for the buss in which the bishop would arrive." The first line in a masterpiece by a Nobel Prize winner. The rest of the piece continues in a way that makes me weep for its simplify, beauty and amount of information it conveys. So you can begin with waking up and still get a Nobel Prize, comforting to know.

[@PhoenixCrown]

My book has a prologue and a character that won't appear again until the second book, but it's meant to set up the feeling of the world: "The cave entrance closed behind Kayta Abidah, enveloping her in darkness, sealing her away from the world she’d failed." I like this. However... my first chapter has my MC... you guessed it, waking up. My goal with his intro (chapter) is to show that he has fantastical dreams, visions even, and feels powerless in his boring world. I want to connect my first line of this chapter to the first line in the prologue. Currently: "A rooster crowed, the same as every morning, but as Luc Lancer’s eyelids struggled to rise and he straddled the line between two worlds, it rang in his ears like the cry of a phoenix." Watching the video, thinking, and commenting already helped me a lot with this, but of course any feedback is welcome. Thanks Shaelin!

[@liamtrenston8067]

I’ve been creating a story for quite some time now.. and I just want your honest opinions on my first lines “ I walked upon the rostrum, only to hear the deafening screams of silence. “ “ Flummoxed? Well, you’re next “

[@eliclark6456]

I know you posted this a while ago and there's a chance you didn't use either of those lines, but just wanted to say I really enjoyed that first line! Had I discovered it in a book, I would have definitely been hooked :)

[@Maerahn]

I know this is an even later feedback, but you did say you wanted an honest opinion, so here's mine... 1 - I get what you're trying to achieve with "the deafening screams of silence." You want the silence to feel so oppressive and hostile as to invoke anxiety in the narrator character, and a feeling of not being wanted in that space. The problem is, 'deafening screams' are a sound made by **people** who are in a state of terror and/or anguish - they're **active** sounds **actively** made, typically made in response to **something being inflicted upon them.** So **they're** suffering in that sense, not the narrator character. I think if you swapped out 'deafening screams' for something with a less sentient feel, that would create the sense of unease you're after - because that would mirror the LACK of audience interaction. Maybe use a sound often used to describe something like a weather or environmental phenomenon, for instance? Like, a storm can be 'thunderous,' and traffic can 'roar,' but neither storms nor traffic are living things that actually make those sounds consciously, to TRY and be scary or oppressive - it's just our human perception of the threat they pose, that layers that on top. (I'm sure you can think of better ones than these two rather obvious go-tos.) That's the quality I think you need for this sentence - that feeling that it's the NARRATOR consciously putting that perception on the silence for this particular moment, rather than the silence itself 'responding' as if it's somehow being 'harmed'' by the narrator character walking up to the rostrum. Does that make sense? 2 - I'm not sure what this second line is trying to say. If it's meant to immediately follow the previous line, it almost feels like the narrator character is critiquing her own, previous first line - which is not ideal, as it breaks immersion for the reader. It's also an assumption, directed straight at the reader - you're steering the reader into how they're 'supposed' to be feeling about that previous line - and a lot of readers don't like being told how to feel about what they're reading. And then "Well, you're next" ...for what, exactly? Is the narrator character going to make the reader walk up to the rostrum as well? How are they gonna do that, when they're just a character in a book? Again, the reader immediately feels like they're being 'bossed around' by this narrator character - and that can be a big turn-off. (Even if this second line is NOT from the same story, and is therefore a first line from another, entirely different one, I think the points still stand - and both lines are even MORE confusing to start with, as the reader doesn't even know what they're supposed to be 'flummoxed' about, or what they're 'next' for, at this stage - there's zero context for either.) Please don't be discouraged by all of this feedback; it's not a reflection on your writing ability or anything like that. In fact, if I wouldn't have gone to all this trouble of explaining my thoughts in this much detail if I didn't think you were more than capable of fixing it. 😊And of course all feedback is just opinion - there will be many who completely disagree with everything I've written, and you may be one of them - and that's completely okay. Just 'cause it's my opinion doesn't automatically make it right. 😊

[@____uncompetative]

Silence isn't deafening. Flummoxed? isn't a terrific opening sentence either. I recommend that you stop trying so hard. When I look at people in bookshops they read the publisher's blurb on the back of the book and what seems to be the first paragraph of the book, if they even open it up, before either placing it back on the shelf or purchasing it. Many don't browse at all and know what they want and find it and buy it, which suggests someone gave them a word of mouth recommendation. Assuming the latter is going to snowball into more sales, more word of mouth, etc. It is pretty obvious that the person who started the snowball rolling down the mountainside read the whole novel, and not just the first sentence. Worry more about the last sentence. Worry more about the impact your novel has on the reader you want to be so passionate about it they recommend it to others.

[@cazfairy]

just ugh, no, nothing about that is working - don't rewrite it - see if you have other sentences further along, maybe that's where your real story commences and you can delete everything that came prior

[@1sirteddles]

THIS IS HEAPS BETTER THAN THE OTHER CRAP I JUST LISTENED TO FROM REEDSY'S GUEST ON FIRST LINE FRENZY #7. I DIDN'T CATCH HER NAME IN THIS VIDEO, BUT IF SHE STILL WORKS FOR REEDSY, HE SHOULD USE HER MORE OFTEN. AWESOME YOUNG WOMAN.

[@eumesmo5593]

I think my favorite first line is A christmas carol's: "Marley was dead: to begin with." It calls the reader and at the same time throws a dead body at his or hers face. And it plants the fact and the ideia of marley being dead. I'm not that big of a reader, neither have read a lot of books, but classics are classics for a reason, right?

[@vnuiee]

when u talked abt mundane imagery i got flashbacks to sadie “the sun was shining not a cloud in the sky” & i havent even read it 😭

[@PatIreland-tw9lr]

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man, in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” That little gem from Pride & Prejudice remains my all-time favourite.

[@BGSpare]

This is the first line of my memoir. For one year, I lived alone in the bungalow where I grew up.

[@uncleanunicorn4571]

"Why are we standing here in fucking Anrarctica?" He addressed the men inside 3 story tall mechanical walkers.

[@kevingoodlad6872]

Fellow travellers cringed when my wife cupped my face in her hands and yelled at me, I smiled back warmly, kissed her goodbye then ambled to Security for what I thought was the last time.

[@mercycunningham2813]

"Mister Marley was dead." - A Chrismass Carol - Charles Dickens. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." - Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier

[@maryamm8379]

“Like a fairy tale our lives become, a nerd and a bully once again meet, one is the professor of the other who failed twice, except the other way around” I don’t know how to feel about this

[@TyraMH]

First Lines: These are from some of my works in progress. What do you think? It wasn’t daylight at the end of the tunnel. “You only get to pick one, do you want to know who killed your mother, or your brother?” I didn’t have any answers for John, how could I, she was gone, and I was dead. On the last day of the year of our lord, twenty-two-forty-seven, the monsters came. Sitting on the roof, staring down at the empty city, knowing death could end my loneliness, I watched pigeons whirl, when a rock knocked one from the sky. Heading home at noon to get an early start on our anniversary weekend get-a-way, I walked into the kitchen to find an open bottle of wine, two glasses, and divorce papers sitting on the table. I agree the house wasn’t perfect, it needed new paint, and of course there was the ghost, but the location was fantastic. Late at night I often hear her, sometimes she’s laughing, sometimes crying, but most of the time she wakes me in the early hours, standing at the foot of the bed, the knife poised.

[@hump1201]

Did any of these work out?

[@jackjohnhameld6401]

*And he screamed : The house is bleeding. There is nobody inside, he said.* Visitants a novel set in Papua (1979) by Randolph Stow (1935-2010) Australian writer long resident in England.

[@bencross4822]

This helped a little for my essay i just narrowed down my options so thanks

[@tophat2115]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. A book that Dickens seemed to paint himself into a corner with but to quote the Bard. "Alls well that ends well."

[@1sirteddles]

YES, TOP HAT 21, THE BEGINNING OF "A TALE OF TWO CITIES" IS BRILLIANT AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITES. YOU HAVE GOOD TASTE.

[@Ann-bd8jn]

My favourite opening line is: “The mammoth mountains were not really mountains at all.” -Kneeknock Rise by Natalie Babbitt It introduces the topic of the story really well and it’s the one opening line that always remains in my mind.

[@ludwigvanel9192]

Douglas Adams had Arthur Dent start of brushing his teeth. I don't recall the exact words, but he probably introduced Vogons pretty quickly

[@john99218]

My first line comes from "Only to Live" by Wolfgang Schwartzscild. "Blue Flash! and Atkin reacted as he had been breed and trained since conception: iris, eye, talon, tooth, leap, lash, bite, tear; his rational part piqued in novel interest."

[@corrinthe]

"Monty glared at the white gilt-edged ticket to the Ball as if it was an off oyster." The opening line of my (unpublished unfinished) ms The Rusty Chain.

[@ravisinghmewada7403]

Great video, fully knowledgable, thanks for providing such kind of informations

[@BigTex347]

I'm a psychologist, and as such, my favorite first line is as follows: "Life is Difficult." M. Scott Peck (The Road Less Traveled)

[@davidpalmer1628]

You're a psychologist, so why would you add "as such"? Does being a psychologist make you somehow special, or different in some extraordinary way? I'm a refuse collector, and as such I abhor the stench of elitism.

[@BigTex347]

@@davidpalmer1628 Hello David, your response is interesting.

[@Mattgdice]

Long time fan! Very approachable lessons that don't feel too much like a lecture. But I think it would be helpful if you offer more specific examples and analyze them. Like in this one maybe show a real book with a great opening line, then show one that is weaker and explain WHY it's weak.

[@brendanichols8165]

The first line of my new WIP is "They almost caught her in Indiana." I'm newly subscribed and enjoying your vlogs.

[@harveyw123]

A set of first lines: They sent a slamhound on Turner’s trail in New Delhi, slotted it to his pheromones and the color of his hair. It caught up with him on a street called Chandni Chauk and came scrambling for his rented BMW through a forest of bare brown legs and pedicab tires. Its core was a kilogram of recrystallized hexogene and flaked TNT. William Gibson's "Count Zero"

[@samiksha111]

"Under this night sky, filled with stars. I can't just sit and lie to myself, like I never knew myself." Guys rate this first line. 😇

[@john99218]

Ok picky part first. This is not an opening line, it's two. (count the periods). The first one is a sentence fragment anyways so It would be better if it all were just one line. "Under this night sky filled with stars, I can't just sit and lie to myself, like I never knew myself." The primary purpose of punctuation is to help the reader to understand the intent of the sentence and a major part of this/that is to make it easy to understand, so use only as much (punctuation) as necessary.(KISS) Your first seven words constitute an Absolute Phrase which means it can be placed anywhere in the sentence and still preserve its meaning. "I can't just sit under this night sky filled with stars, and lie to myself, like I never knew myself." "I can't just sit and lie to myself, under this night sky filled with stars, like I never knew myself." "I can't just sit and lie to myself, like I never knew myself, under this night sky filled with stars." To keep the coherence of the Phrase I believe that it would be best to lose the comma after sky. This comma does serve a purpose but it is a secondary purpose which is pretty well already filled by the word order (a trait of English). So lets leave it out for the sake of clarity. Another concept is that of "Psychic Distance". This mean starting with the more pheripheral and unimportant pieces and then focusing in on more approximal and important pieces. I mention this as it is exactly what you have done with your absolute phrase. The opening suggests a work of self-reflection, self-denial and maybe a bit of self-loathing which is made more apparent by the hint of the night sky. A star filled sky gives me an immediate sense of an omipotent and critical presence. The best place for this phrase is at the very beginning therefore your rating goes up for its inclusion there. The secondary purpose of a comma is to control the rhythm of the 'speech' and support the 'logic' of the sentence. This is done perfectly well by the comma after (the first) 'myself'. The rhythm emphasis supports the Logical emphasis of this being a self-reflective work. NOW, could we push the first period (down/up to) a semi-colon? In this way we could preserve the inclusion of the first comma as the semi-colon would define the absolute phrase. Well, I guess so BUT 1) I don't find that first comma all that necessary 2) doesn't the sentence seem to become a bit crowded with punctuation? So 3/3, 4/5, (7,8,9)/10. The only thing lacking in this opening would be dependent on who it is about. Is it about Paris Hilton who never got a red pony for her birthday, or about Oscar Schindler crossing names off of his list?

[@f.scott.fitzbeagle]

I read The Vegetarian. What a crazy, crazy book. I loved it.

[@captainnemo9742]

My personal favorite first line I've written is: Katherine entered the chapel of rest-cum-crematorium, where the service was to be held, in person, and was confronted by the deceased, standing just inside the reception area, welcoming mourners to her own send off.

[@riyasethi9955]

Tbh, it's a little difficult to continue reading

[@gopro_audio]

Thanks again. It's always quality content from you. :)

[@sumeshr6419]

I wrote my book's first paragraph : I was then in a closed room surrounded by demons, still I was able to see my guardian angel mocking me behind the door....

[@marvamason]

I am struggling with my first line right now. I am leaning towards opening with “ there is no greater temptation than telling a 10 year old not to do something because they might get hurt.“

[@Metalhammer1993]

damn am I really doing three comments? sorry bout that. But yeah I kind of want to keep them seperated. The vegetarian line is actually the one that got me thinking the most. The wife was "unremarkable" before? why did he Marry her then? That was my question the moment I read it. Though I didn´t notice the conflict directly. i actuqally read that line as something entirely different and entirely positive. Before she was boring but that change of her life style made her more interesting to her husband. Which is a weird dynamic, normally you don´t marry someone who´s utterly boring. And by the way Orwells thirteen does not work as effectively on people used to 24h cloicks like us Germans^^ I needed to recall that most english speaking countries use the 12h system before I got WHY the 13 is even close to remarkable. Like my clock struck thirteen 12 minutes ago and that means my aunt is probably eating lunch and if I were at work, my lunchbreak would be over^^

[@xxrocketshark216xx4]

My personal favorite opening line is from the first James Bond book, Casino Royale: "The scent and smoke and sweat of a casino are nauseating at three in the morning. Then the soul-erosion produced by high gambling - a compost of greed and fear and nervous tension - becomes unbearable and the senses awake and revolt from it."

[@Metalhammer1993]

Seocnd comment one of my absolute favourites though you have to consider the genre here though, is the very first line of my hero academia "Hi I´m Izuku Midoria and I´m the world´s greatest hero. How did I get there? well that´s a long story" And then it starts with Izuku being bullied on the last day of middle school and it pretty much being established, that Izuku in a world where 80% of people are born with super powers, he got the short draw. He has none. So his chances of being a hero at all look slim. And that´s where the intrigue comes from. "how did he do it?" And another angle from which this is great is because in most shonen anime/manga the fans just roll their eyes, becvause "of course the protagonist reaches his goal, because he´s the protagonist" so any suspense in that regard is often seen as faked and annoying. In Naruto for comparison we were much more invested in Sasuke´s quest for revenge against his brother Itachi than in Naruto´s quest to become Hokage. Because, Naruto´s the title character. Of course he´s gonna be hokage and of course he´s both the greatest and the strongest hokage ever. MHA just sensed this annoyance in the typical shounen audience and FLIPPED IT: that´s why I love this open line. it´s not a book and i don´t even know if it´s in the Manga but hearing Izuku say these words in a nearly reminiscing tone just got me hyped. And then MHA stays true to it. If someone questions Izuku as a Hero, he usually has a point. A Point Izuku has to fix. But the sohw is actually more about exploring what a Hero even is through Izuku. Is it just someone who is strong and is on the "right" side like people like endeavor for most of the anime the number 2 Hero. Or is it what Deku wants to become the number 1 Hero allmight. Who will be believed if he says "all will be well" because just the fact he is here means: all will be well? So that first line really sers the premise of the show and kinda leaves open: The greatest Hero sure. but to what standards? Hero is a wobbly term. To the Finns Simo Heya a sniper who killed over 700 Russian soldiers in the Finnish-russian war during WW2 is one of their greatest. To Germans members of the "Weiße Rose" a group of peaceful resistance against the NS Regime are Heroes. They bear the same title in the same time but could not be more different from each other. And the question what a Hero is really got back into the focus in the fourth season with definitely two of the most emotional moments in all of shounen to me at least. But it all builds on that first line. Deku is going t obe the greatest Hero. But what this even means is something we have to find out

[@caterina243]

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit"- The Hobbit

[@55maltesers]

The ultimate "no no" opening. Once upon a time, after a dark and stormy night. The sky was blue, the sun was out, and the wind was lovely, "Hello," I said my hamster in my lovely dream. "Hello," said the parrot instead of the Hamster. This all happened about five minutes before my alarm clock went off. When it did go off, I was about to get out of bed, and have a shower. I had a busy day ahead of me with the washing and the ironing. But, before I even managed to get out of bed, there shined a shiney demon, in the middle of my room, AND HE SAID! "Tell me the best story in the world, or I'll eat your soul." Me and my wife Kylie here, we both looked at eachother, and we each said, "Ok." So we said the first thing that came to our heads, it just so happened to be, the best story in the word; it was the best story in the world! But we couldn't remember the best story in the world, this is just a tribute. Insert guitar solo. Thanks for reading.

[@iknowyouknowleeknow.]

What the fuck did i just read 💀 But you're very good

[@55maltesers]

@@iknowyouknowleeknow. i forgot all about this lol

[@UmeshChandra]

My first line, "I met her at a place where I was never supposed to be".

[@lahoncatherine6277]

This is so informative 🥺♥️

[@thenkindler001]

“Aeolian rust filtered the sunset light and wreathed the sky in hues forlorn.”

[@Joebaire]

How the three projects I am working in start: - A girl dancing while repairing a mechanical device. - A woman escaping from chasers on horseback. - A police officer who has seen something unusual in the sky. Still trying to find the right first line for them.

[@hofstad2598]

I’m working on a novel for a good few weeks now and so far for the first line I have “Acrid smoke filled the night air.”

[@meandtheuniverse1449]

“The confines of my prison cell though stark and unforgiving seem insufficient to to bear the burden of my remorse, so I write to you my suicidal book” by me

[@hump1201]

"The small boys came early to the hanging." - Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet

[@sobojetty]

When Oedipus saw his wife the first time, he slapped his forehead hard and went, "Mamma mia!"

[@brians132]

...here I go again. My, my How can I resist you?

[@jilly198]

Honestly this was so useful thank you!

[@christophereric1407]

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. It is a truth universally acknowledged… The great fish moved silently through the night water, propelled by short sweeps of its crescent tail.

[@bridgettegeorge]

My first line is not waking up from a dream. But my first chapter is a dream. In the end of the first chapter, the protagonist wakes up and her the juxtaposition of her reality with the dream is what the second chapter is about. I guess its cliche but its important to the plot which mostly revolves around her thoughts and her reality...

[@yolyd]

"The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years-if it ever did end-began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain." It by Stephen King

[@frankie3010]

My first line foreshadows the death of the character in the prologue abd his death kickstarts the plot.

[@danielfwilliams8898]

He looked down at the body on the slab; it was his or a version of it. From Champions’ Quest by me Daniel Williams

[@corrinthe]

"Life is difficult." The Road Less Travelled

[@SpiritGroveReiki]

"Willie McCoy had been a jerk before he died." Guilty Pleasures by Larrell K. Hamilton

[@michaelbjrklund9304]

"Once upon a time " "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R.R. Tolkien is: "When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton." and The first line of "The Hobbit" by J.R.R. Tolkien is: "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

[@groveri2]

"orbiting the cold sun was the artificial world of 'unnamed 3'"

[@princejohns4726]

Thanks for the video😁. My latest item starts with “ YOU THINK I’M STUPID DON’T YOU?”

[@hoaujudaiyubel]

Everyone friends, foes, strangers were all staring at me as I floated in the space between universes

[@sailingeden9866]

My favorite first line is from the book "Armour" by John Steakley. "He drank alone." Did I write, cite, punctuate, this right? This correctly?

[@jasperc6101]

"¿Donde esta biblioteca?" - Deadpool 2018

[@YTEdy]

I woke up to the smell of napalm and burning flesh. . . . That's my first line and I'm standing by it.

[@justjulia1720]

Tbh I'm new to reading, but one line that was surprisingly effective to me was "Marley was dead to begin with.". Who's Marley? How did he die? Why do I suddenly feel bad for him even though I have no idea who he is or was? Why do I feel like I'm attending his funeral?