How to Write an Irresistible Logline -

[@walturdgameing]

MADAGASCAR 🦁: When a lonesome zebra and his crew of pampered zoo buddies mistakenly wash up on the shores of the beautiful tropical island Madagascar, they all embark on a journey to discover where they really belong.

[@writeforanimation]

That's a great one! Very well written!

[@AdarshKumar-nj7rp]

Here's my version: "When a close group of pampered zoo animals wash upon the shores of Madagascar, they must confront their animalistic natures to survive in the wilderness."

[@writeforanimation]

@@AdarshKumar-nj7rp I love the way you’re including adjectives that reinforce the conflict like “Pampered”. I also love how you hint at the resolution and internal theme with your last section “to discover where they really belong”

[@AdarshKumar-nj7rp]

*The Incredibles:* "When a forcefully retired superhero secretly takes one last mission, he uncovers a sinister plot that puts his superhero family in mortal danger."

[@writeforanimation]

That's a great logline, I love that you included *"forcefully retired superhero",* that has a lot of subtext, and when you add the rest, I can picture all the situations that will follow and feel his conflict. 👏🏼

[@AdarshKumar-nj7rp]

@@writeforanimation thank you for your support. 🙏🏻

[@AdarshKumar-nj7rp]

Here's my take on what your logline should include: • *A protagonist* - someone who is our vehicle into this world. • *Features* (1 or 2 words max) - to give us a hint about what the person is though not too much. • *Action/Disruption* - an event that takes our protagonist out of their everyday life and forces them to take an action. • *Antagonist* (optional) - a person or an event that stands between the protagonist and their goals. It may already be mentioned as part of the "action" or its an internal battle. • *Collateral* - what could be the fallout of his/her actions. It doesn't need to be too deep or complex. Please feel free to give any constructive criticism.

[@writeforanimation]

I love your take! Adding a characteristic feature is very important, and if possible have that feature be in direct contrast with the goal and/or the antagonist. For example in Kung Fu Panda, a "clumsy panda" and "kung fu" are in direct contrast. In UP an old man is in contrast with the adventure. Sometimes you can add an adjective to the antagonist in order to create even more contrast, in Finding Nemo "anxious clownfish" and "treacherous ocean".

[@cosmicatt]

Oh, and these videos are wonderful. You’re making important tips accessible to so many people.

[@writeforanimation]

Thank you, that’s so nice of you. I’m glad it’s helping. We have a lot more content coming up. Feel free to share suggestions and feedback on the comments :)

[@StoryXperiential]

Great video Pietro!

[@writeforanimation]

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[@LosDummies]

Guess the movie: A passionate young chef finds an unique way to work at one of the most critically acclaimed kitchen in Paris. His unconventional looks put him in danger while he tries to keep the restaurant reputation afloat.

[@LosDummies]

Submission to ask Pietro: how do I draw a storyboard? How do I write a montage?

[@writeforanimation]

🐀

[@wendyjaehnig4439]

Can you do one about plot twists, climax, and epilogue and prologue?

[@writeforanimation]

Hey Wendy, please send me specific questions about these narrative elements and I'll add them to our Ask Pietro list for future videos.

[@TomEyeTheSFMguy]

Into the Spider-Verse: Upon the death of Spider-Man, a kid from Brooklyn, with help from Spider-People from other dimensions, must step up to the role and save the multiverse from destruction.

[@writeforanimation]

That's great, we had a different version in the video description: "When ordinary teenager Miles Morales becomes the spider-man of his universe, he'll have to join forces with spider-people from different dimensions in order to stop the Kingpin from destroying the fabric within realities." I think I like your version better because it's more concise. Great job!

[@TomEyeTheSFMguy]

@@writeforanimation thanks

[@drereviews8868]

A young lion prince must overcome his evil uncle and face the responsibility of kingship in order to fulfill his destiny

[@writeforanimation]

Well done! I would just add the antagonist, but I love how short your version is! 👏🏼

[@pavithrak6417]

Avengers: A newly created group of superheroes must work together to prevent the invasion of the earth led by a demi-god / being from another dimension. Is this okay?

[@writeforanimation]

Great job. I love how “Newly created” and “must work together” point towards their internal conflicts.

[@cosmicatt]

Somewhat unrelated, but I often struggle with asking for feedback on a story, especially online, out of fear of the ideas getting “stolen”. What’s a better place for that?

[@writeforanimation]

This is a great question, and since it's something many writers worry about, I think I'm going to create a video to answer you.

[@tom.c]

LUCA: A young sea monster who barely discovered the joys of the surface and his newly found best friend attempt to get their dream Vespa while not getting caught in a little fishing town of the Italian Riviera

[@writeforanimation]

Nice!! @Raj C Patel also wrote two versions of LUCA. As I mentioned in the video, there is not a single way to write a logline.

[@tom.c]

@@writeforanimation Thank you! ^^ and yes, I find it nice how a same story can be summarized in a logline in so many ways while still having the same ideas!

[@batcoolstudios4236]

4:33 Luckily Moses fits both.

[@writeforanimation]

Yes! That's probably the case for the majority of biopics, except for films like "A Beautiful mind", or "Into the Wild", where the protagonists are not as famous as Moses, Ghandi, or Lincoln.

[@batcoolstudios4236]

@@writeforanimation You are probably one of the only channels that actually responded to my comments. Thanks.

[@writeforanimation]

@@batcoolstudios4236 You're welcome, the fact that you took the time to leave a comment means a lot.

[@batcoolstudios4236]

@@writeforanimation You’re video on Maya and the Three helped me a lot with writing a fantasy series. It’s sad a lot of animated series creators don’t put so much time in writing their shows as well as Maya and the Three did.

[@writeforanimation]

@@batcoolstudios4236 Thank you, Jorge Gutierrez is one of the most passionate writer-directors I know. I'm glad the video helped you, we have a lot more coming up on the channel. I curious, what was your main struggle while writing your fantasy series?

[@wendyjaehnig4439]

Encanto: An ordinary girl born in a magical family must embark on a journey to save their home after discovering the magic is in danger

[@writeforanimation]

Encanto, right?

[@wendyjaehnig4439]

@@writeforanimation yes, did i did it right?

[@writeforanimation]

@@wendyjaehnig4439 I love that it's very clear, to make it even stronger I would specify a little more that she's the only one without power. "When the only girl born without a magical power..." and maybe add the setting of Colombia, which allows you to imagine the visual style. Other than that, it's really great.

[@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3]

I realize these log lines are better for simpler movies and stories but what about far more nuanced storylines? Like what if the main conflict is a lost aimless character, guarded by an ancient spirit animal who is equally lost and dangerous, who struggles to help with the search for meaning and value because they've lost their moral compass from eons of suffering and loss? A sort of dragon trope retold which guards its treasure and in the process destroys it's very value, except the treasure is a character. One of the main conflicts is a lack of growth, or growth in the wrong direction. Like a modern reinterpretation of dantes inferno. Seeing how far down a character can go to see how strong they have to be to climb back out, and bring the reader along to show them what life awaits the abandoned and lost if we continue to turn a blind eye.

[@writeforanimation]

You're absolutely right, the more nuanced the concept the harder it is to write a compelling logline. There are wonderful movies for which it would be very hard to create a logline. Even for something like what you described, you have to find a way to share it compellingly so that you can hook those who listen to the pitch. In mainstream animation, most movies have a high concept element. Even an indie film with a lot of nuances like "I LOST MY BODY" still has a strong, easy-to-share "what-if" concept. ICYMI - I go into that in this short video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/p561hWiGYrBmd8k

[@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3]

​@@writeforanimation thanks for the quick reply. One other quick question came to mind. What if someone were to pitch a manga? Like if your story has a very "ghibli" stylle to it, and you hired an artist to render it into a manga, would that be easier to pitch as an animated movie? Like if I were to start with a full novel, and then turn that into a short manga (whatever I could afford to make) would having all those things along with the screenplay (the book, and visual novel) be much better stepping stones for animation studios? Cause I want to self publish, I don't want an animation studio to do what HBO did to GoT and run it into the ground and just confuse and anger everyone with the random plot turns of HBO writers who obtain the rights. So how would you maintain control over your story while at the same time promoting it into as many different outlets as possible? Cause I can easily send a script of a finished book, and if the script came with a finished novel, and a visual novel, wouldn't that trio sort of sell itself?