ADHD and Emotions: How Mindfulness Can Help (& 3 Questions to Ask!)

Emotions can be intense when you have ADHD. Mindfulness can help.
Link to worksheet on identifying emotions: www.therapistaid.com/therapy-...
The feely wheel! feelingswheel.com/
Emotion tracker: bit.ly/3D5fFVO
6:13 correction -- should be recognizing that we're angry when we're in the yellow, can keep us from getting "in the red"
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Special thanks to our research team -- Farah Mahmud and Dr. Patrick LaCount -- for their help with this episode!
"The Show Must Be Go”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

[@HowtoADHD]

How do you feel right now?

[@rolfdekkers1043]

Pretty good! I like myself:)

[@GoADHDGo]

Kinda cold and squishy. I need to lose about 40 pounds and maybe turn the heat up a bit... Oh wait... you mean mentally? I’ll see myself out.

[@Lucyisawesome100]

Thankful for your videos!

[@saimedhar4304]

I feel ashamed. I'm a loser.

[@ananya1869]

extremely angry :')

[@nehamaw]

I always tend to feel guilty when the emotions disappear. Like I was just over exaggerating for attention or being silly or something. I have to constantly remind myself that it's OK.

[@HowtoADHD]

Same! And embarrassed for reacting so strongly. But the struggle is reeeal

[@nehamaw]

@@HowtoADHD definitely! It's just so hard because the emotion is so strong but then when it goes it's hard to remember that it was real... Or that it was actually legitimate... So I just feel ashamed.

[@HowtoADHD]

@@nehamaw SAME!! I think that's why it's helping me to start recognizing that my emotions are legitimate and real even if other people wouldn't react the same way or the situation didn't "require" me to feel that strongly. I just...do. And hey, in other situations our strong emotions make us really fun to be around :D

[@IanDoesMagic]

It's both heartbreaking and uplifting to see that other people go through this. It's hard to break that reflex of suspicion I have for my own feelings, and I wonder sometimes what specific things happened to reinforce that idea in my mind.

[@nehamaw]

@@HowtoADHD sadly I don't often feel like that. Lately it's rare for me to be 'fun' but I'm working on it. Depression and adhd is always a fun combination.

[@greydub1414]

A lot of adhd kids have been emotionally neglected due to this, it's very sad because it makes us feel worthless and bad about ourselves, it makes us feel like a burden, and society has to learn to understand that it's hard for us, and not only for adhd folks, but for people with bpd, bipolar disorder, etc. This does not mean we get to get away with everything, but you have to learn to be patient, we don't mean to be mean, but we can't control ourselves.

[@toobossforchuck]

this is so important to be aware of. I didn't understand emotional neglect until a year ago but I realized that like, yeah, as someone with really intense emotions and feelings of rejection, I'm more vulnerable to people not understanding or dismissing me as "too sensitive". I think we can learn to work with our emotions but also for people who feel them less intensely, I wish they would just say "hey, I may not be able to fully understand, but what you're feeling is real and I'm here to support you" instead of like "stop crying, you have nothing to cry about" or whatever

[@mihikanepal4939]

iuuu@@toobossforchuck morning fuy

[@jessepinkmansimp6090]

hey sorry about that other comment i made i really dont know what point i was trying to make i guess thats just another part of my adhd, tangents lmao

[@juttad2127]

As a mom I can say that before I understand how ADHD was affecting my sons angry outbursts and running out of class, I was embarrassed and angry at him for not "being good." I am so thankful for the help I have found that has opened my eyes to what he was wrestling with in his own body and mind. I am ashamed that it took my son saying he didn't want to live anymore because he was a bad boy and he didnt want to hurt anyone anymore. That was rock bottom for me and him. I started calling every healthcare professional I could for help and now we he is on low dose meds, we have a support team in school and in our neighborhood. Parenting doesn't come with a manual, but with support and information, we really do want to be good parents.

[@AriknotErik]

It’s what I’m trying to finally understand now. And I’m so mad at myself for getting angry with the people I love. But I can’t control it sometimes. I want to learn control, I will learn control

[@lonemonkey12]

sometimes it’s genuinely scary how like every facet of my life can be explained by adhd. it’s really comforting but sometimes it feels like i’m looking at an inventory of my personality traits and quirks and have to sigh and slap the “OH this is an adhd thing” label on yet another one every day. not a bad thing necessarily, just a bizarre experience!

[@karlijn9669]

I agree!!

[@denycast]

I get that... Now comes the fun part... Figureing it out yourself ^^ I often ask my self " there is this thing I do/feel/think.... How does it fit in with what I know about myself, my ADHD brain and how society treets us" It started in the school breacks, but evertime i am outside I have my headphones on. It just Helps to regulate the incoming noises. And you know what: It is an ADHD Thing... Aw so much fun...sometimes ^^

[@mirjam3553]

​@@denycast But also, your ADHD isn't actually separate from you? It's _your_ ADHD. So yeah, you might use the headphones to regulate - but I'm sure quite a few of other ADHDers don't feel that need or have a different solution. It may be a common coping strategy... but blue is a common word that can describe so many different things, tones and hues. I think what I'm saying is that everybody, ND or NT is an (essentially fundamentally unique) remix of human traits, the same way every book is a remix of the alphabet. I feel it's important to not forget that, especially when we're just first discovering our neurodiversities, because they're such huge parts of us and it can feel like those are the main parts, with a bit of some personalized sauce thrown in... (was autism, for me, around two years ago)

[@winterskyescene4254]

Same!

[@drowninginthedeepnessofher1032]

I feel you on a spiritual level!

[@GoADHDGo]

“Hello, brains.” - Jessica “Hello, Jessica.” - Me out loud to no one

[@HowtoADHD]

Hello!! :D

[@GoADHDGo]

@@HowtoADHD I was alone when I said “Hello, Jessica.” Apparently, I REALLY need to get out more.

[@ADHDPatrick]

🤣😅

[@jacquimaynard3291]

I always say hello back. 😃

[@lauraholzler1417]

Like me every time. I even caught myself waving to her once.😂

[@dailydoseofmedicinee]

Up to 99% of teens and adults with ADHD are more sensitive than usual to rejection. And nearly 1 in 3 say it's the hardest part of living with ADHD👍

[@Justkyrios]

For those of us with ADHD and RSD makes this increased sensitivity significantly worse too =(

[@ericpeterson7712]

I have moral scrupulosity OCD as well as RSD. Really bad combo! A bestie break up is indescribably bad! I feel it physically and makes me want to die. It takes years for me to heal from

[@lauraholzler1417]

Do you have any idea how many times people have told me I'm just too sensitive?! It's just maddening.

[@jessepinkmansimp6090]

omg yes seriously its terrible seeing your best friend hanging out with someone else for like a SECOND like i know people are allowed to have other friends and i really respect that but its just hard for me to remember that

[@BensCooking]

i think it would be "fine" too if it was universal or at least universally well-discussed

[@dn_acoustic]

I'm so happy to have found a page like this. People like you being authentic and informative helps so many people💖

[@brindmusicnerd]

Agreed! Whether you have ADHD or not this channel is a fantastic resource 💚

[@theotherbrief]

Agreed!

[@youknowwho504]

Ditto. New Subscriber. Helping so much

[@KagedCreations08XX]

I don’t even know what what I’m feeling when I’m not emotional, much less when I am emotional

[@HowtoADHD]

oof, well put

[@charcoalgriller]

Meditation is helping me learn my emotions. It’s tough. Easiest to recognize is anger. It’s also scary and I’m starting to understand what those around me see.

[@FrttMs]

This.

[@historiansrevolt4333]

This is the part of ADHD that needs to be talked about more. I felt so relieved when I found out there was a reason my emotions are so close to the surface. Slowly working on it since I found out about it from this channel about 6 months ago. But I doubt I will ever stop crying at commercials.

[@LawNerdAmber]

Agree!

[@erincarter9995]

I will wear a jacket or sweater some days because I can feel my "emotions are so close to the surface." It is a literal buffer between me and the outside world.

[@mariezguitar5029]

@Historians Revolt Commercials are the worst!

[@sophiekerr8964]

Especially when there's a dog involved in said commercial (or a cat, or a horse, or...)

[@jessepinkmansimp6090]

im the kind of person that only cries at aspca commercials and laughs at the bad acting in medicine commercials

[@Roanmonster]

The part about recognizing emotions is too true! I was on a camping trip with friends when I was getting super cranky and didn't want to do anything and told the others I was just going to go away when someone said "Dude, just sit down, you're overwhelmed, have something to eat". The fact that he said that instantly calmed me down, because then I knew "oh yeah, if I just sit down and distance myself a bit for now I'll feel better in no time"

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

That someone is a GOOD PERSON!!🥰🤩🤩🥰

[@lauraholzler1417]

Totally!

[@natalieviner5231]

That is the correct way to understand and help someone with adhd. That must be nice to have that acceptence

[@Roanmonster]

@@natalieviner5231 actually I don't think he even knows I have ADHD haha. It's not something I talk about really. But he has ASD I think, so that might have been how he knew what was going on.

[@mariahlove4405]

I kind of did that with my sister and mom. We were out and about with some family and my sister and mom were going to leave, my other sister who was there was asking if i wanted to come with her. I told her no and went with my mom and other sis. The reason was because for no reason( there probably was, idk) i started to feel irritated, upset and felt the need to cry. I felt like it was safer for me to go with my sis and mom. I had to explain to them why i even left with them. It was a little strange trying to explain what was wrong with me, because i didn't know. I still dont know. Im thinking something triggered me during the family conversation they were having earlier. It really felt random to me.

[@creeperslayer241]

Ah. So this is why I'm so quick to anger or cry at the slightest bit of actual sadness, but then it goes away and I'm left empty within a half hour. Just another thing that makes me, and I quote, "overwhelming" no matter how much I try to improve

[@thekmhful]

As a career artist, I would explain to my kids what an extraordinary gift this was! So many creatives will use drugs or alcohol to tap into how we naturally feel, and they still can't copy it. Regulation, compartmentalization and (my biggest challenge) Balance is the key!

[@sophiecourt5006]

My emotions are so hard to control with my adhd, I often feel I am overreacting and get angry over nothing and react without thinking, thank you for this video!

[@GoADHDGo]

I was the exact same way... then my chiropractor suggested CBD oil. I was a little skeptical about it but I gave it a try, and... wow.... life changing. I no longer get angry or overwhelmed. I started taking it in October 2020 and I haven't had any anger issues since. Pretty amazing.

[@dishamagnani5711]

Girl, same. Like i literally know when i am being a b*tch but i do things anyway. It's even more frustrating. I just end up crying in my room.

[@JG.Fierstar]

@@dishamagnani5711 same

[@HowtoADHD]

6:14 correction -- the needle should start in the yellow then move into the red :)

[@Benvolio1282]

Thank you for pointing this out! I was confused and thought that's what you meant but wasn't sure.

[@shutnawi6635]

looks like edward wasn't taking care of his adhd haha recognized something was wrong immediately

[@robinvandenbos2079]

pin this comment please!

[@swayback7375]

Should pin this comment! Thank you for the content, really helpful to some of us.

[@SnowySpiritRuby]

Please pin this comment.

[@HIDDENADHD]

I can feel myself bottling up the negative emotions from realizing how much I bottle up emotions 😜

[@HowtoADHD]

meta :)

[@UntangleTheOffice]

Yep. Increased frustration because I’m frustrated about being frustrated in the first place when I’m in a time crunch. Soooo counter intuitive. A good meditation helps. Oh look, squirrel! .......

[@Dancestar1981]

@@UntangleTheOffice maybe that’s why we enjoy walking quietly out in nature at our own pace to clear our head

[@TheEuphologist]

I legitimately had no idea this was part of my ADHD and thought all my friends and family were right when they said I was over emotional or exaggerated all the time. I would get so mad at people (and still do sometimes) for seemingly small things that would always feel so important to me. I also had issues in relationships because when I fall for someone I fall hard and come across clingy and then when they would leave me I would be completely shattered. I wish I had these emotional management systems back in highschool 😂 Thanks so much for shedding light on this.

[@dare2liv_nlove]

Oh maaann, that part about falling for someone too hard & behaving too obsessed... Hear hear! >.

[@dishamagnani5711]

Ohh my goddd.. This made me tear up. I always get angry and frustrated at things that are too small for everyone else. That made me feel like i was a bad person for being so rude to people. I have my moods so it gets very difficult to maintain friendships. Thank god i found this channel. I am trying to cope up. I hope u r doing good!

[@drowninginthedeepnessofher1032]

My god! my thoughts are served as words😲

[@liamfarrugia9225]

Man I feel your pain! It sucks! Like if you want attention you should be able to hit a "give me attention" button right?! Hahaha. I hope you're at least learning from these past experiences to grow into something better :)

[@evanhowe267]

I have ADHD and people have called me over sensitive a lot (which by the way isn't very helpful because then I have to also deal with feeling rejected for feeling rejected). When people told me that a lot of the time I would get defensive and tell them maybe they're just under sensitive. Thanks for making these videos, I know they help me and a lot of other people a lot! :D

[@anesytaana3942]

In my country no ones care about our emotions, because the therapist don't recognize ADHD in adults. Here we don't exist... so thank you for your huge support❤.

[@MiliaSanASMR]

Where's your country? Much love ❤️

[@anesytaana3942]

@@MiliaSanASMR ❤From Romania

[@MiliaSanASMR]

@@anesytaana3942 thank you for your answer!!

[@babymilksnatcher]

ADHDers who live in Anglo-Saxon and Nordic countries are incredibly lucky. Even here in France, getting medicated for ADHD is an hassle. You get opiates, codeine and Xanax delivered more easily than methylphenidate, which is absolutely nuts to think about. It's really time for the rest of Europe to catch up on the subject.

[@MBXGill]

Big hug sis

[@duran-yt]

"Maybe we know the thought that's creating the emotion isn't based in reality, but the emotion is still very real." Yooo when I first realized this and started recognizing it when it happened, everything got a lot easier. I tend to be pretty analytical and have gotten pretty good at taking the deeper look at my emotions while letting myself feel them. I look at it without judgment and ask myself where it's coming from. I used to hate feeling things so strongly that I'd shut down. Now I accept them at face value, and appreciate them, from anger to the strongest one I ever feel, love. Amazing video. Thank you.

[@lauraholzler1417]

Thank you for this piece of wisdom.

[@RyleeKeys]

"How do I feel right now?" Right now? Hopeful. Your empowering work gives me hope.

[@HowtoADHD]

Awwwww

[@RyleeKeys]

@@HowtoADHD ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ananya1869]

I feel like whenever someone does something to tick me off, instead of being slightly annoyed like others, I feel like I want to explode. I usually just leave the room when I can and take my anger out on an imaginary friend in my mind-

[@isisprior1987]

Me too. It's overwhelming, really.

[@gojoxsanzo]

I used to be like that, it took me years to grow out of this. Here is how I did (and still do) it, maybe that can help: when the anger kick in I will try to stop overthinking, breath deeply at least 10 times, then explain how I feel in a very calm voice, concentrating in having a calm voice actually calm me too (that can be to myself or people depends on the situation, sometimes I act as if I were 2 personnes having a conversation). At first I had to leave in order to do that alone, then come back and speak, but not anymore, and it's been about 10 years since the last time I exploded.

[@ananya1869]

@@gojoxsanzo oh my gosh thank you so much!! I'll try doing that :)

[@nicholaswilliam3741]

Glad I'm not the only one who does this.

[@jessepinkmansimp6090]

i know! i thought i was a sociopath or something but i guess its just an adhd thing

[@mehlover]

You'd think learning your emotions is easy but later your realize not as much. So glad I'm not the only one who went through this

[@Dancestar1981]

I have both ASD 1 and ADHD so it’s a double whammy

[@GregWatsonKingston]

My psychiatrist that I used to see often would remind me that feelings and emotions are a good thing. They're indicators of something big. Taking a moment to feel the feeling and not let it control you. Once you processed it, then act on it in a healthy way.

[@realswobby]

Bad emotions feel like pain, no wonder people try to avoid them. It's not easy to just "process them", it's like agreeing for a torture.

[@GregWatsonKingston]

@@realswobby No one wants to go through pain, but by acknowledging it and asking yourself why you feel this pain, it helps to deal with it in a healthy way. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

[@yogurtbanana2124]

I was told over and over as a kid to "stop exaggerating". It was painful because I began to believe that I was making myself feel awful but still unable to stop it. Thankfully, through therapy, i am way healthier now

[@jessemartin1305]

I feel accepted. Throughout this whole video I was pushing down my tears because I relate to it so much and it reminded me of my strong emotions and I got overwhelmed. I am also anxious and stressed because I'm currently doing finals and I really don't want to fail.

[@UntangleTheOffice]

For some of us (me), we tend to have a hard time talking to a therapist, especially a new one, because it feels like we’re just repeating the same stuff over again. It is important to be patient, open minded, and willing to listen. They can help us, we just need to let them.

[@themisfitowl2595]

Earlier today I had someone laugh at me over literally nothing. These are people who enjoy pushing my buttons and if I show even the slightest bit of hurt emotion they get defensive and say things like "We were only teasing! You don't need to make such a big deal out of everything!" I felt so -angry, humiliated,- Disrespected that I started watching videos and found this one. The emotion wheel was so inspiring that I felt creative enough to channel my frustration into making one of these based off the one on this video. My partner even suggested putting clock hands on it to express the emotion I was currently feeling! It's hanging up by my calendar and now I feel proud and valued, and thankful that you make such helpful content! 😊

[@iditrirajan]

It's again on right time. I'm extremely frustrated right now. Studying alone sucks (reason for frustration) 😭😭😭

[@badoli1074]

Your channel made me consider checking into my psychological issues again. I'm 44 and pretty much have given up on that already, going like "yea, i'm weird, i can't tell anyone about it and i'll just keep to myself". First session with a therapeut is tomorrow, first session with a psychiatrist towards getting officially ADHD-diagnosed next week.

[@LittleCuteCam]

I like how you always post a video right when I need it. It's like you know I'm going through something.

[@bubblesnopemporium5880]

When you get emotional because someone tells you "ADHD isn't real" or that "adderall is child meth" 💀

[@natalieviner5231]

It shows more about them. Being so ignorant because they dont understand and dont want to accept adhd as a real condition. Sometimes will use comments like that to get to you. Dont let them win smile and say. How interesting and walk away. Takes the power off them try it. :)

[@jessepinkmansimp6090]

GRR I KNOW!!! i seriously want to punch those people in the face

[@nataliebeach6148]

I have been completely untreated for my ADHD for 20 years after a horrible and traumatic experience with a "mental health professional" and your videos have really helped me to get to the point where I'm medicated and making progress to living constructively with my brain. I can't thank you enough for what you do.

[@SARVJOTDHILLON]

are you taking meds?

[@theadhdmind9419]

Totally agree! Emotional dysregulation is one of the most challenging aspects of ADHD. Many of us feel guilty for how we feel and react, although most of the time we can't even control it! Thank you for the great tips!

[@Magpie2497]

I appreciate everything that you do on this channel. You are legit the only channel that know of that talks about everything ADHD and is fun and engaging for me to watch. Your also the only ADHD channel that has a woman with ADHD talking about this stuff. Your channel helps me so much. You give me the words to voice what's happening to me and the things that I experience. Your helping my mom understand me better. I know that at anytime I can use your videos to communicate my experiences to other people so that they can understand me a bit better. I'm so grateful for you and what you do and I just want to say thank you ❤🫂

[@HowtoADHD]

thank you for this 😭comments like this are the reason I write and rewrite and rewrite these videos trying to make them as helpful as possible

[@Magpie2497]

@@HowtoADHD wow! I didn't know that, but I totally get it. It takes me forever to think of the right thing to say when I'm writing. And sometimes I'll walk away and then come back and rewrite a couple of sentences bc they don't seem right. I appreciate all your hard work and all the effort you put into these videos 🥰

[@m.maclellan7147]

Just want to Hug you when you teared up over your mom. Yes, this work is VERY VALUABLE! THANK you! ♡♡♡♡♡

[@davecoates2308]

Amen!!! Lost my mom in Jan. Still hurts! She really ‘got’ me :( strength Jessica. Someone told me that losing a loved one is like a big ball that bounces around in a box, and in the box is a red button. Each time the ball presses the button you feel the hurt. Over time, the ball gets smaller so it presses the button less frequently it it always hurts the same :( it’s so true. Just keep at it. One day/week/month at a time. The ball gets smaller and smaller as time goes by, but the love you had/have for your mum (and me for mine, will never go away).

[@blahmanliutenant]

I lost my mum early 2020, and I'm still not sure how to really describe how it feels but I definitely feel it, and it's hard

[@abdulazizalsarraj4951]

I’m 28 years old from Saudi and I have Diagnosed by ADHD 3 months a go when I saw your channel It really help my a lot and it does change my live 180 degrees so I just want to say Thank you for lat me accept and love my self

[@MiliaSanASMR]

You got your Diagnose in 🇸🇦? Ramadan kareem

[@abdulazizalsarraj4951]

@@MiliaSanASMR yes I did

[@MiliaSanASMR]

@@abdulazizalsarraj4951 that's really interesting to me, because I thought adhd is only discussed in USA and parts of Europe. I'm Tunisian living in Germany btw.

[@mariahs1123]

I'm glad I somehow learned to be a bit more accepting of what I feel rather than continue to be explosively angry about things all the time, but emotional disregulation is still really hard. Most people don't understand why or how I manage to feel such passionate frustration/anger/sadness/love/excitement in normal relationship situations. I've had a handful of people think I have something much more serious than ADHD with anxiety. Thank you for reminding me that we're not alone in this daily struggle.

[@alvaronavarro4895]

I was just doing homework and I started thinking about you, and here I am!

[@tonidue9317]

needed this right now! For me a very annoying part of ADHD is that people like to dismiss the idea that I have ADHD or tell me it's such a "popular" diagnosis and does not mean anything, which is much harder to deal with when you are extremely sensitive... It's kinda hard to have a condition that is often not acknowledged in society AND is making that very fact even more painful for you Thank you for these videos they mean a lot to me

[@LawNerdAmber]

Just in time. Returning to the office after a year has me emotionally disregulated and in trouble with my supervisor and colleagues. Thank you so much Jessica & Team

[@redkalab4415]

I am not diagnosed but I feel like so many of your amazing videos are "calling me out"

[@lauraholzler1417]

I feel like I'm diagnosed vicariously. Both of my kids were diagnosed and genetics so...

[@shauni7218]

@@lauraholzler1417 my mom went through the same

[@johnnarogers5636]

The more I learn about ADHD the more I think I need to get myself checked. (I plan on it once I'm on my own insurance plan, but for now I'm using strategies I learn from videos like these)

[@missytizon4477]

@@johnnarogers5636 same

[@catherineraper]

For me, this is the hardest part of adhd. My emotions go from 0-100 in just seconds and it’s really hard to come down from the red part of the circle.

[@EAKugler]

As a kid, I used to feel like Mr. Spock. My emotions are too powerful for normal humans, and I had to struggle to keep them suppressed at all times.

[@firepatriot42]

Completely understand. My job is a nightmare to work at. Their''s no HR, manager doesn't care yet only a few put up with me and my emotions and frustrations when working.

[@Dancestar1981]

Funny me too I identified with Spock a lot probably why out of my family I’m the one who got hooked on Star Trek from age 5. I’m now 40

[@Dancestar1981]

Me too

[@mushrooms2261]

Hearing you say "I'm anxious because I hope you like it" hit me with a lot of emotions because I can relate so much and I'm surprised that I didn't realize you'd feel that way because every creator must go through that and it helps me understand your perspective and feel connected and I'm shocked how rarely we share such simple but meaningful things in our culture. I used to have a "how are you feeling right now?" group with my friends and it was pretty popular. It was based on me learning about Nonviolent Communication, which has also helped me process a lot of things by understanding emotions as indicators of met or unmet needs.

[@really-quite-exhausted]

Ohhh feeling called out by the 3rd point... I've been spending the last year trying to get better at recognising the difference between my thoughts and my feelings. Edit: That in itself isn't a feeling! The irony!!!! I feel... proud of how far I've come, and relieved to know that I'm not the only person who struggles with naming and acknowledging their feelings.

[@isisprior1987]

I remembered being told as a kid to stop crying, like, a LOT of times. I managed to make myself suppress all of this emotional states of feelings, that today is so hard for me to express myself. Also, being judged as dramatic for things that really affected me... It's hard. I managed to paint it out every single emotional disregulation since I was a kid to learn how to deal with that.

[@mjbe]

Yes! Crying too much was often the most negative comment on my grade school report cards.

[@flaming6]

I am thankful that you are giving my autistic self tools to manage emotions, and helping me understand my ADHDer friends better.

[@flaming6]

@Kali Evelynn Our brains work in some similar ways. My bestie is also ADHD, as are five of my other friends. Neurodivergent folks tend to travel in packs, but it takes a while to build your network. That would make a good video subject!

[@Dancestar1981]

I have both ASD and ADHD and so much of this resonates

[@MakaykayLAMB]

I'm thankful for you and this channel. You make me feel like my ADHD isn't a problem and that i can conquer any challenges that come my way.

[@AshuHere]

hi! I came from my teacher in english who gave us option activists! She sent me a link of your video about the wall of awful and now im subbed!

[@bonessasan]

I was lucky in that I was partially raised by a counselor, so I don't struggle with this issue as much as I could have. I think my grandma taught me some of this stuff, even if neither of us was aware of what she was actually doing.

[@HowtoADHD]

oh neat! Do you remember what they taught you?

[@bonessasan]

@@HowtoADHD The thing I remember best is her asking me what I was feeling, why I felt it, and telling me it was ok to feel whatever I was feeling. What I did with the feeling wasn't always ok, and in those situations she or my mom would explain why my actions (not my feelings) weren't ok and taught me coping strategies I could use until I was calm again.

[@gemstonerose4648]

My councillor told me just the other day that it's natural to have emotions even anger and that stopped me in my tracks. I had told myself since I was a teen that I have "anger issues" and really worked on that but accepting that anger happens and it's okay that it happens never occurred to me.

[@mairam1072]

As an adult I find that it’s rewarding to have people around me that don’t judge me for being “too sensitive,” and if it doesn’t effect my functioning I do not stop myself from feeling an emotion. It can get overwhelming but it’s much easier than bottling it up which eventually will cause me to explode.

[@caitlincalles1685]

Wow... I know I have strong emotions and get emotional way too quickly but I never really learned on how to manage them (aside from taking it out on myself in a really bad way) because my family thinks any negative emotions are me being a bad person and that just made me more emotional. I should try this out, that was very helpful.

[@rolfdekkers1043]

Now 12 weeks into treatment you helped me before my (second) diagnosis and you're still helping me now. My emotions were a mess but im better at recognizing them and the meds help a lot!

[@tedsavidge4872]

Hello Jessica. I'm 52 years old and just recently been diagnosed with adhd. I have been watching heaps of your videos and I want to thank you so much for all your hard work and dedication. It's meant so much to me and and my new life revelation. Keep up the great work! Much love from another fan from the land down under 🙏😊

[@jackielask1123]

You have no idea how many times you and your videos have saved me from falling down a dark hole in my head and destroying the day. This video today is EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. Thank you for your service! Really!!!!

[@notrisandays]

I didn't realize that this was what it was called. Ive had days where I just didn't feel right and no matter what I did or laughed at it didn't last very long. And then at some point that day I realize that I'm experiencing depression, and some people have gotten mad at me for my way of trying to explain it before. It's hard to understand what causes me to become depressed, I can usually spot anger and I just end up suppressing it cause of my up bringing, so it's a habit I'm trying to break out of. But I'm getting side tracked, I always enjoy your videos and I consider you as someone import to me cause you may not be a doctor but you provide information that super easy to understand and follow and love all your videos for that. Please keep up the great work!!

[@rogerguillen149]

I am so happy I found you and you all of you in the comments. Thank you and thank you all! Love you guys.

[@accountname537]

me too

[@accountname537]

grief sucks

[@ryankennedy5645]

I am relieved that I found someone to explain what I’ve been going through my whole life

[@kalvinthompson5807]

My therapist recommended your channel to me, and I was proud to say I've already found it :)

[@MildExplosion]

I deeply appreciate that you allow yourself to be personal and vulnerable on this channel (talking about your grief, therapy sessions, your dog!) while keeping a strict code of only giving evidence-based advice. I really trust you and your team to give me clarity and insight on the topics that affect my life the most ❤️

[@ALADDIN22091978]

Great video ! If your are happy, it is ok, but it you are sad, angry or mad. I am emotional and sensitive, vulnerable. I find it hard to regulate my emotions ! It was worst as a teenager ! I was bullied in school, my parents were arguing, my neighbour could not handle me, now she knows I have ADHD, she picked on because of my dyspraxia, she knows I have aspergers traits . The environment can be cruel . I think for children it can be worse !

[@MathAdam]

*_Attention Deployment_* ! Gotta hang on to that one. Wife: Honey, how long are you going to play Civ VI today? Me: Sweetie, I'm engaged in *_Attention Deployment_* ! Wife: How about deploying some of that attention to the dishes?

[@soroushjm1011]

🤣🤣😂😂

[@roymongin8886]

The correct response is "in one more turn"

[@mananomartinez]

This is very timely! I had to learn emotional regulation very very late in life. One thing that I have been struggling lately is the ability to access emotions. Suppression was a big big thing in my family of origin and it's driving me nuts that there are things I can't feel.

[@Norimarisu]

Who else schedules their "feeling and dealing with bad feelings" time ? I don't know how many times I've said to myself "I will deal with this feelings on Friday" or "I'll pay attention to all of that after my finals are over" because I knew acknowledging the feeling out loud was gonna get me "aware sad" and I was not gonna have control over it or how much time it was gonna take. My sister calls it denial but I think that as long as I allow myself to feel them later, it's not denial. Because if you don't deal with them you end up having a mental breakdown on the cereal area at Walmart because of legit reasons that you forgot to process a month earlier.

[@lauraholzler1417]

I feel sad that my life has been so needlessly hard and tragic just for the want of the information I have been learning from you. I also feel grateful to have found a community like this. Yes please, let's reimagine a better world.

[@davecoates2308]

Thank you so much!!! I’ve always just squashed my emotions down until they explode. Life is tough. ADHD is tough. :( grateful I had an OT as a mum, but it’s still hard. Thank you for doing what you are doing.

[@emdotrod]

I feel sad while watching this video (because at the time I was having an argument with my gf). Recognizing emotion and embrace it is always the best way to take care of all te emotions and communicate it better.

[@zoomygloom]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me speedrun my mental health recovery journey

[@yaa40]

This. Is. Amazing. Thank you very so many very much for being amazing and uploading this, it's exactly what I'm working on with my therapist these days! You are very valued :)

[@HowtoADHD]

Aw thanks! Any exercises you've found helpful from your therapist?

[@yaa40]

@@HowtoADHD (Internally: 😱😱😱, I got reply from *the* Jessica! Sorry, I'm excited lol) So far, the same thing as in the video, only additional one is a journaling prompt, it goes something like that: 1. Find base emotion 2. What to do to cope or solve the cause if needed. Basically, sort of letting my brain go town with analyzing my emotion, and letting it problem solve right after. For example: I'm antsy now, why? I have a final in ~45 minutes. How does it make me feel? anxious and impatient. Also, I'm hungry. Solution: Acknowledge the passage of time is out of my control, breathing exercises, and make food. So, I'm gonna make me some food 🙂

[@ADHDPatrick]

I may paint my anger and try to make friends with it, but no way I m putting that on my wall, will scare all of my friends

[@cindythacker541]

I love what you are doing! I am a 62 yr old who was diagnosed when my 17 yr old son thought he was going crazy before he was diagnosed! We are 10 years into the learning process now along with John’s younger sister! I have devoured many books, etc. I want you to know that the way you present the material, and your peppy, and sweet, manner are very engaging and encouraging. Thank you! Keep up the great work! I love sharing these with others that are struggling! You are making a difference 😘

[@sergiocrowe9848]

Great episode! (I think the rejection sensitivity and dysregulation of emotion is literally one of the hardest things to discuss with friends etc. It's quite embarrassing to admit sometimes). Thanks for your hard work on your channel.

[@beauson1983]

For me it was learning that anger is ok and harmless when its not directed. So instead of flying off the handle at someone, I take 5 and analyze why I got so angry and process it or go put it into something useful and violent, lol

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to take a sledgehammer to a HUGH cabinet. It was in the basement and got cat peed on, so I needed it OUT. It felt SO GOOD to hammer that sucker apart!🤨🤣 I've learned to (when I can) set projects like that aside for when I need them. Then, when I'm "in the mood for a fight", I've got something productive to legitimately hammer the s**t out of!🥰🥰

[@IanDoesMagic]

Yeah! It's not that emotions are bad, it's that our unthinking choices can have unwanted consequences for others and us.

[@CircusingJoJo]

I feel optimistic and grateful. I wish I had this channel growing up. Thank you for you and what you're doing for so so many of us. Cheers

[@awilliams2516]

Thank you. I jump way to quick to post something on Facebook when I’m mad at my hubby and it’s to a point where all my friends hate him because of me posting before I think. He’s actually a wonderful guy. I really need to work on thinking before I act.

[@Wilfried78]

I'm learning so much from your channel! I was only diagnosed with ADD (and autism) in 2018 at 40 years of age. After my diagnose I had a full year of several therapies. But from only 7 of your video's I've already learned twice as much. You're the ADHD end-boss!

[@Dryskle]

I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done, Jessica! I was diagnosed a couple years ago in my 30s and it made everything in my life make so much more sense, but it's still difficult to find good information for adults with ADHD. Your videos have been immensely helpful for me to navigate and work through things from this new perspective knowing I have ADHD now. I've shared many of them with other people I know who have ADHD (and a couple people who I suspect have it but are undiagnosed). I've also shared several with people I'm close with that don't have ADHD so they can better understand what's going on in my brain, better understand that I'm not being selfish or uncaring or lying but that I legitimately struggle with doing things I want to do. So again, thank you for everything you've done and all the help you've provided for the ADHD community over the years 💜

[@admirbarucija2018]

This is something I really needed ☺️

[@talaaljazmati8615]

I had ADHD my whole life and got diagnosed last month, I started getting description medication for it yesterday and this channel is the best thing I have found on KZbin. I’m sooooo happy to find it and be able to know more about myself and why I act in a certain way ❤️

[@gooseguidedguitar6618]

I am feeling: relieved. I’m so relieved I found this channel and I am so grateful for you, Jessica.

[@Scooby-Snacks]

forever grateful. Thank you for posting this video and this topic. I can't figure out how to regulate my emotions it's bad. I try.

[@ALoreMiles]

Take it from a 31yo ADHD chemistry teacher, you're doing amazing work here. You deserve every single subscriber and more! Thank you for your hard work, lots of love from Croatia :3

[@helstan]

Im feeling glad that there are people out there like you to help me understand what is a new journy for me

[@iaia1988]

Thankyou!! Feel happy everytime I see a new posting. Again, feeling part of a community, validated. And that is hard with adhd. So hard to cry in the middle of the room with every work collegue telling you to be less emotional and to calm down, to be more resilient or mature.

[@basilkat21]

So grateful for this channel! It's super validating to have another woman talk about her experiences, and your content is easy for my brain to digest! Thank you 🥰

[@isabel2595]

As a long time subscriber, I feel a tremendous amount of second hand pride when you say “as I covered here” I just feel like it represents how far you come and covered to help fellow ADHD brains🥺

[@theotherbrief]

There is such a huge backlog of resources created on this channel! It's fantastic!

[@jakemarie828]

Thanks for working on this channel and not giving up even when it's hard.

[@lilitudeamnocte248]

I like telling myself having adhd is a lot better than being a sociopath. lol really - telling myself that helps me accept, understand and love my emotions. ❤️

[@Lunadish]

Right in the nick of time... Thank you...

[@celisev6635]

My mom always called me a glass house, i cant hide my emotions you can just look at me and see how i feel and it sucks cause i switch emotions quite quickly and when i get sad i cry right away which never really helps cause people judge me even more when im crying over nothing:c

[@victorianielsen9963]

Thank you for being so authentic and for being there for us.

[@dskyrocket]

This is one of my favorite videos you've ever made. Thank you.

[@igitha..._]

I find it next to impossible to 'hold back tears' - it hurts my head really badly! I'm a very emotional and sensitive person and I have extreme trouble not wearing my heart on my sleeve. I've been through a lot of trauma too and have also been diagnosed with C-PTSD which my ADD psych actually said has crossover symptoms which was very surprising to me! People have taken advantage of me so often - just the other week one of my carers insisted that I let her borrow money from me and stupid me did because I'm nice and trusting and she took advantage of me in the moment and all I could think was its only the first week and she didnt pay me back when she was supposed to with her is she trying to figure out how much of a doormat I am? (its ok now... her boss wired me the money and she's now on ahem 'leave'...) I'm wanting to further increase my emotional intelligence and be better at transmuting these emotions into something more productive. I want to be better able to protect my boundaries. I have cried lakes and rivers throughout my years and I still do even now in my 30s. Mostly it confuses me that most other people don't feel things more deeply. Oh - also - I literally just learned about Autistic Burnout in the last few weeks - being that ADD is on the autistic spectrum I would love if this could be further explored in a video if possible pretty please !! Mega love!! xoxo

[@dariusjones8383]

I’m feeling...validated. I’m so grateful to have found a channel like this. I’ve had ADHD all my life but was only diagnosed in 2019 after my wife noticed my behavior was similar to her younger brother’s, who was already diagnosed. I went to the doctor and turns out I’m on the “high-moderate/low-severe” level. Once I knew, everything clicked into place. It made sense all of a sudden why I could never be bothered to pay attention in school, why I could never sit down and *study* (and why math, being so procedural, organized, and often tedious, is the bane of my academic existence), why I would react so aggressively, suddenly and completely out of character towards certain things. It made sense why I felt like my brain never shut off, and why I could never sit down and focus, or on the other hand hyper focus to the point of ignoring everything else. I found this channel about a year ago, and it inspired me to really explore myself and how my ADHD brain works. It encouraged me to go get medication (which has helped immensely), attend CBT therapy (which has done WONDERS), and really get to know myself more intimately. I am eternally grateful for you and your channel. Thank you so much, you have made such a difference in my life and I’m sure countless other people’s lives!

[@austinlittrell7302]

I’m thankful to have found this channel. Your videos have really helped me come to terms with some parts of myself that I’ve struggled with for my entire life

[@chrisbeale7629]

Don't be anxious, we love your videos. Keep it up!

[@JMaefranzen]

How do u deal with ur best friend cutting u off Coz his parents think ur a bad influence Coz ur emotions cause problems. It hurts so bad cos we were bestfriends and I can't have anyone I had that connection with😔. No matter what I can't talk to him, so how do I get over it. It's been 4 months

[@igitha..._]

I've been through a similar situation lately. It sucks. It really sucks. My male 'best friend' of 8 yrs came onto me at NYE and at the same time announced his "undying love" for me and then around six weeks ago completely ghosted me. I know how much it hurts to lose a friendship that is revered and cherished that one expects will go on into the future. It's wretched. I have come to decide that people fall in and out of frequency with each other and that sometimes our frequencies reconnect. If your feelings towards this person are genuine (of which I have no doubt) and they (the other party\person) are unable to reciprocate the problem is with them and not with you. Have hope that if this person has fallen out of your life they are away for good reason and that there is a chance that them giving you space will open up the possibility for someone or something even more amazing to enter your life. There is a chance that in the future their growth and mindset may evolve and they may catch up with you - but your life is worth more than putting it on hold for one person who leaves you emotionally stranded. Wrapping a big energetic hug around you and hoping this response helps you feel that you're not alone and that there is possibility ! Many mega blessings and much love oxoox

[@norabauer247]

I never knew what to do with my daughter when she would come home from school in a full meltdown. This was before we knew she had ADHD. I would just turn the lights down in the bathroom and tell her to take a bath. It always helped.

[@dawn6597]

Awee thats really sweet! Giving her space and time to breath really helps. And baths are so calming! I should really try that sometimes.

[@norabauer247]

@@dawn6597 ❤️❤️❤️

[@LuisMAbreu]

I’m feeling grateful for finding your channel

[@2013lovemy]

I’m so happy I found your channel (found you via your Ted talk that popped up in my feed). Thank you! I really struggle with regulating emotions. You’re giving me a little hope.