Human Mating Behavior Ft. Macken Murphy

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Marin, the woman who became internet famous for going on 28 dates in February and documenting the process, is sitting down with scientist, writer and internet personality Macken Murphy. Marin and Macken discuss the science and theories behind human mating behavior.
Macken discusses the medium ugly myth, the difference between girl pretty and guy pretty and what makes someone an attractive mate. Marin and Macken go down the rabbit hole of monogamy vs polyamory, and scientifically backed red flags to watch for in early days of dating.
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[@murphymacken]

Thanks for having me on, Marin! It was nice chatting with you.

[@lifeofmarinNYC]

Thanks for coming on Macken!! You’re a star 🤩 can’t wait for round two!!

[@BasedChadman]

You've become a great guest over time! Stark contrast from the last interview of yours that I watched, but I appreciate your content and growth.

[@NatashaRaisorGlam]

You are intelligent and well spoken. I hope you go on more shows hosted by women.

[@murphymacken]

@@NatashaRaisorGlam thank you! Of course I will

[@Justin5s]

I think I’m like one of 5 people who follow mackens stuff, dudes great

[@lemonshark4961]

I started a war in the comments on Instagram lol

[@ivaka1234]

Same

[@Ken19700]

I first found him on tiktok. He's great.

[@NatashaRaisorGlam]

This is an awesome interview. You asked really good questions🌸

[@lifeofmarinNYC]

Thanks so much!

[@bastiantrs]

So underrated quality content

[@br8979]

Is Oxford in London? 😂😂😂

[@Jack68676]

Very interesting they did a study on frat guys and muscles. I definitely experienced this. I am a fairly muscular guy. In my fraternity I would say a good portion of the guys looked better, but I tended to get more action from girls than most of them. I think there are several reasons for this. First off, ever since lifting my libido has been much higher, therefore I approached more women. But intimidation was huge. If the other guys saw I was talking to a girl, rarely would they step in. This was not the case back in high school when I was really skinny. Additionally, I think the muscle gives the individual much more confidence, and this translates a lot in attractiveness with women.

[@user-cn4en1iz3u]

I cannot hear it although I maxed out the volume. Great episode though

[@DLYChicago]

When you discuss your findings with the Manosphere you need to understand that while you are talking science, while they are talking social politics. They are giving their opinions of how they want gender relations to be. They may quote data but their intentions and perspectives are purely subjective. For your part you need to be careful that you do not drift into subjective arguments. The objective data can be used to support many arguments, including ones that we disagree with.

[@kmarie7051]

A lot of them like Andrew Tate are narcissists an psychopaths who want to control and possess women as though they are objects and feel superior over them. It comes from a place of deep insecurity, lack of self control and feeling like you have no internal control and an inferiority complex. People who feel in control of themselves don't need to feel like they need to control those around them. A true alpha will be respected not for being a bully(you might get them scared of you but not their respect) but for being a self controlled, self assured, empathic, compassionate and a coalition builder. My father was one such man and when me and my siblings were children and misbehaving all it would take was one stern word from him and we would behave.

[@calex901]

The ‘Manosphere’ is an odd mix between the leaders and alpha type figures that represent it who have success, good looks etc and their mysogyny stems from having too many women and most of their fans who’s mysogyny stems from not having any at all… fascinating really

[@kmarie7051]

@@calex901 A lot of them like Andrew Tate are narcissists an psychopaths who want to control and possess women as though they are objects and feel superiority over them. It comes from a place of deep insecurity, lack of self control and feeling like you have no internal control and an inferiority complex. People who feel in control of themselves don't need to feel like they need to control those around them. A true alpha will be respected not for being a bully(you might get them scared of you but not their respect) but for being a self controlled, self assured, empathic, compassionate and a coalition builder. Narcissists have a severe identity disturbance and a lot of self hatred and emptiness deep down. A lot of these men sit around obsessing over women and none stop whinging and blaiming them for all their problems. No wonder they cannot get a normal healthy women and only attract the unhealthy types. They talk about women like objects to serve his needs. They are perpetually resentful of everyone else. They feel entitled to some form of glorious success at a level that they are unable to achieve. Instead of taking stock of themselves and trying to find goals that they are capable of reaching with their talents, they compare themselves to people who are much more successful than they are who have a very different set of skills. Then they explain the disparity as somehow not being their fault, somehow they were cheated by life and other people out of success -success that they have never done anything to earn. -They are angry with the world. -They feel cheated of their success . -They want to be “Alpha Males.” -They believe that they deserve to head a company without any relevant experience. -They compare themselves to very successful people and reason: “I am just as smart as he is. Therefore, I deserve to be just as successful as he is. As I am not as successful, I have been cheated out of my success.” - They blame other people or the unfairness of life for their lack of success. -The single males believe that they deserve the most beautiful females, despite looking only average themselves. -They are nasty, cruel, and spiteful to their romantic partners. - They do not reflect on their own part in creating their life situation or take any responsibility for their lack of success. Because this subgroup of Narcissists rarely have access to enough validation to shore up their shaky self-esteem, they walk around perpetually feeling inadequate. Here is their basic pattern. -They never achieve success at a high enough level to satisfy their grandiose fantasies. -They feel inadequate. -They then find a way to blame other people or circumstances for all their failures. -They resent everyone else’s successes. -They envy what other people have. -They can never feel satisfied. -They are bitter and complain constantly to whomever will listen to them. -They treat other people horribly. There are few things more pitiful and unpleasant than people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who lack the brains, talent, and social skills to get the narcissistic supplies that they crave. I think with many it's a projection of some deep self hatred and because they're the warped creations of women who gave birth to them and moulded them into who they are: dysfunctional, maladaptive, and emotionally dead. They are angry at their mothers and, by extension, at all women. They believe firmly that women are out to "hunt" men by genetic predisposition. That women are parasites, leeches, whose sole function is to suck dry every man they find and tarantula-like decapitate him once no longer useful. This, of course, is exactly what the narcissist does to people. Thus, his view of women is a projection. The heterosexual narcissist desires women, especially so due to their special. As a result, they feel threatened. They try to justify this irrational fear by imbuing all women with "objective", menacing qualities and pathologizes others in order to control them. Narcissist treats women as objects and sex as a means to obtaining Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist's misogyny and his sadism are a result of his fear of being abandoned (the recreation of earlier traumas) Narcissists are infinitely pessimistic, bad-tempered, paranoid and sadistic. Their daily routine is a rigmarole of threats, complaints, hurts, eruptions, moodiness and rage. The narcissist rails against slights true and imagined. heterosexual narcissists are attracted to women, but simultaneously repelled, horrified, bewitched and provoked by them. They seek to frustrate and humiliate them. They are unable to love in any true sense of the word - nor are they capable of developing any measure of intimacy. Lacking empathy, they are unable to offer their partners emotional sustenance. Narcissists equate love with deplorable weakness. Narcissists are angry men - but not because they never experienced love and probably never will. They are angry because they are not as powerful, awe-inspiring and successful as they wish they were and, to their mind, deserve to be; because their daydreams refuse so stubbornly to come true; because they are their own worst enemy. And because, in their unmitigated paranoia, they see adversaries plotting everywhere and feel discriminated against and contemptuously ignored. Elliot Rodger is an excellent example of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and how destructive and dangerous it is. Narcissists will go to whatever lengths they have to in order to get what they want and so often - as we see with Elliot Rodger - what they want is revenge. They believe they have been wronged and they react with rage when the world does not give them what they want. They take pleasure in hurting people, especially those who care about them. The goal of the narcissist is literally to destroy. A narcissist cannot be reached with love and you cannot appeal to their good graces. they are capable of neither. These people are fundamentally broken. They also have a vicious, sadistic Superego (the part of a person's mind that acts as a self-critical conscience, reflecting social standards learned from parents and teachers) that attacks them all the time with horrible, terrible things: "You're worthless, no one likes you, you're scum, you're a terrible person, there is nothing good about you..." They create a False Self to hide that, which is why they seem so arrogant, etc. But they are under attack by this Superego all the time, nearly every second, and so when they find a partner, this narcissist takes all that sadistic viciousness they are hearing from the Superego out on the partner to make themselves feel better. This is the only way they have to make themselves feel better and because of this, they are never going to stop doing it. You cannot make them see they are doing this; it's a defense mechanism. They have to believe their partner or others around them really are terrible people. It's essential to their whole being as a person and they cannot stop. More importantly, they don't want to stop. They are truly evil people who literally desire to destroy others because they are jealous and believe that other people have things (love, sex, material things, popularity) that they (the narcissist) are being purposely and spitefully denied. The true narcissist is a dangerous, conscious-less, selfish, sadistic and evil person. And really, calling them a person is a misnomer. They are not truly people in the strict sense of the word. That is why a lot of people have the same reaction to narcissists as they do to very human-like androids. People can accept and even like androids, so long as they do not seem too human. But when an android seems too much like a human, people often react with revulsion, disgust and even fear or panic. This is called the uncanny valley hypothesis and it is the same reaction you often see to a narcissist; people aren't sure why they feel that way but something just feels "off" and it's a strong feeling, so strong that usually after an encounter or two, many people will stay away from the narcissist. This probably explains why even though he was good looking, smart, well-off and personable, Elliot Rodger could not get a girlfriend. This is the "alien" aspect of the narcissist and we see it over and over again; people can see that something is not right. They are sensing that the narcissist is a fraud and not a real human being at all. Others often cannot articulate what it is they don't like about the narcissist - who usually seems to be the picture of friendliness and sincerity - they just know they don't like it. Once they are created in childhood, it's too late. Medication cannot help them. Therapy cannot help them. Nothing can help them. They are what they are. And what they are is really nobody at all. They are shells walking through life seeking fulfillment, and the only way to get what they need is by using and abusing other people. Crippled, defective shells masquerading as people that are incapable of love or of ever being happy.

[@theukeconomist6518]

Interesting, my exes were considered pretty. One looked like Pamala Anderson and another looked like Rachel Weisz. I guess I do attract good looking women.

[@tashabatiste9177]

I wonder if he’s an INTJ

[@disc0duck]

The mother’s experience the halo effect I bet straight fathers would as well

[@cringelord7542]

dropping brutal blackpills. based and good work Macken!

[@Pleebian94]

Macken is not a member of the Black Pill community.

[@Amanda-kp4hh]

this conversation is so weird hahhah just an "educated" way of gossiping

[@SalemSnow1]

You look unprofessional with your phone in your hand. Get a laptop, tablet or preferably print out the docs

[@sandeepkrishnan3043]

If monogamy is not a coincidence and it exists in every culture,so do patriarchy 😂.how do you justify that?

[@kmarie7051]

If you think about it though cave men would have to go out and hunt and gather for their offspring and their mothers for survival. If they had of abandoned them and not passed on their skills to male offspring then the species would likely not have survived. From an evolutionary psychology standpoint (which the evidence is overwhelming) a woman usually looks for signs of commitment and that a man has the means to provide for her. The sexes have different sexual systems, stemming from thousands of generations of evolutionary influence, and these differences play out in meaningful ways.The act of sex comes with a greater cost to women, due to the possibility of becoming pregnant and having to take on related responsibilities-giving birth, breastfeeding, raising the child, and ensuring his or her survival. Male sexuality is concordant. This means when a man is turned on psychologically, he’s also turned on physically, down below. Female sexuality, on the other hand, is much more context-dependent, and is lower in sexual concordance. Women may be psychologically turned on, but not physically, and vice versa. It can take a bit of extra time for a woman to get warmed up. From an evolutionary perspective, this ties into women’s greater selectivity when choosing their mates. For instance, a woman’s brain processes sexual cues differently, depending on where she is in her ovulatory cycle. A recent study using functional MRI demonstrated that women possess increased efficiency in inhibitory brain function when they are potentially fertile. This is adaptive because it allows a woman to be more cautious when evaluating a potential partner at times when it is more likely that she will become pregnant. Even if you have no plans to have children, you want to ensure that your partner will prioritize you. We have not yet severed our modern-day sexual behavior from its history. It’s a system that has served us quite well, considering that we exist today. For men, sex requires an investment of several minutes. (About five or six minutes on average, according to recent studies.) As a result, the female sexual system evolved to account for this discrepancy, because women who made good mating choices were the ones who succeeded at passing on their genes. This is why women, on average, are more selective about their sexual partners, preferring those who possess status and resources that will benefit them and their future offspring. Back in the day, if these resources were of poor quality or inconsistent, this would threaten a woman’s survival and the survival of her children. Being less choosy about sexual partners could also result in raising a child without the help of the father, who could otherwise provide material resources in addition to emotional support and physical protection. In response, men have evolved to be highly competitive in order to be attractive to the choosiest (and, therefore, highest value) sexual partners. ] Individuals who are well adapted to their environment are more likely to survive and reproduce than those who are less well adapted. The mate preferences of one sex will determine the characteristics that are passed on in the other sex. For example, our female ancestors preferred male partners who could offer physical protection to them and their young, which is why greater height is generally seen as an attractive trait in men. Eggs are more costly to produce produce than sperm; consequently, women release one egg a month while men produce several hundred million sperm a day. Women are very selective about who gets to fertilize that egg, and men need to be competitive in order to get access to this precious resource. Studies have shown that for women who are successful, they place an even greater emphasis on their partner’s generosity and financial success. A woman usually looks for signs of commitment and that a man has the means to provide for her. and practical needs to also be met. As a result, when women cheat, it is usually due to a lack of emotional intimacy in their current relationship or because their sights have shifted to someone who is more successful than their current partner. It’s about more than lust or the physical act. An organism exists to propagate its genetic material, and this is the sole “meaning” of its existence biologically. Masculinity has been unfairly pathologized. Successful mating consists of attaining a partner with good genes so that one’s offspring will survive and be successful at passing on their lineage. Men’s behavior is, to some extent, the result of female sexual preferences. If women didn’t want to mate with masculine men, these traits would have been removed from the gene pool long ago. Masculinity is the result of women’s sexual preferences over thousands of generations. A study found that women prefer men who exhibit benevolent sexismsexism over those who do not, despite also finding these behaviors undermining and patronizing. Benevolent sexism consists of chivalrous behavior, such as opening doors and paying for dates, and positive attitudes about women that reinforce the belief that women are less competent, relegating them to traditional gender roles. (This is in contrast to hostile sexism, which involves overtly misogynistic views.) Regardless of whether women endorsed high or low levels of feminist beliefs, they interpreted signs of benevolent sexism as signals that a man is willing to invest in them through an ability to provide, protect, and commit to them. The positives associated with this behavior outweighed the negatives. Research has also shown on-average sex differences in brain activation during sexual arousal. When men and women are brought into the laboratory and are shown pornography during an fMRI scan, visual areas of the brain are more activated in men, and regions associated with inhibition and emotional processing are more activated in women. Men have evolved to prefer partners possessing observable qualities indicative of both high fertility (able to produce healthy offspring) and high reproductive value (able to have many children) Gendered interests are also predicted by testosterone exposure in utero. Boys, are typically exposed to higher levels of testosterone in the womb. Higher levels are associated with male-typical interests and behaviours, regardless of whether the baby is male or female. These include a preference for mechanically interesting objects and systemizing occupations in adulthood. Lower levels are associated with a preference for people orientated activities and occupations. stemming from evolutionary roots. Women. who are tasked with the role of bearing children, evolved to be more sociable, empathic, and people focused, while men, as hunter-gatherers, were rewarded for strong visuopatial skills and ability to build and use tools. That's why science, technology, engerneering and mathematics fields tend to be dominated by men. Girls show a preference for socially engaging activities and occupations. This difference between children regarding preferences for people versus things is detectable within the first two days of life. Baby girls preferred looking at their caregivers’ faces and baby boys preferred looking at mechanical mobiles. Babies as young as nine months old have shown gender differences in the toys they choose. girls preferred playing with dolls and boys gravitated toward trucks and cars. This was before they’re able to even recognize gender as a concept, something that generally happens at around eighteen months to two years old. We also see the same behavior in our primate relatives, including vervet and rhesus monkeys. Despite lacking socialization from their caregivers or other monkeys, young female monkeys will choose dolls, and male monkeys will choose wheeled. Whether a trait is deemed “masculine” or “feminine” is culturally defined, but whether a person gravitates toward traits that are considered masculine or feminine is driven by biology. Societal influence cannot, however, override biology. social influences can affect the extent to which a person’s interests and behaviors are expressed, but they cannot override the underlying preferences themselves. No matter how much freedom a child is given, most will, time and time again, pick out gender-typical toys to play with and exhibit personality traits typical of their sex. If you try to force kids to play with opposite-sex toys when they prefer toys typical to their sex, they will be bored, or alternatively, will get creative. I’ve had parents tell me their boys, upon being given dolls, will swing them around mercilessly by the hair as though they are a weapon. Girls will arrange toy trucks into a family and tuck them into bed. A girl or boy who is gender-atypical will turn away from these cues if they're truly not interested. For gender-nonconforming kids(many who are homosexual and attracted to the same sex of reaching puberty) who are bombarded with societal messaging about masculinity or femininity through movies and online games, they will say, “I don’t want to watch this,” or “I don’t want to play this,” and “Where are the ones for boys?” or "where are the ones for girls?" Gender-nonconforming girls and boys don’t need the world to tell them to be nonconforming; they will already be that way, from the moment they are born.

[@truthonwheels8652]

Patriarchy doesn’t, and many ancient cultures also had matriarchy structures. Some cultures value women highly and some treat them sub human. It’s all different. And recently in the west it’s becoming more balanced.

[@kmarie7051]

@@truthonwheels8652 Except in the men and women with extreme narcissistic pathologies who view other people as objects.

[@sandeepkrishnan3043]

@@kmarie7051 how is this long essay related to the question I asked?

[@sandeepkrishnan3043]

@@truthonwheels8652 how much percentage of cultures have matriarchy compared to patriarchy.and which is still surviving?