Hypervigilance and unmasking my autism

I have been experiencing a rapid unmasking of not only my autistic traits but ADHD as well and it's been life-changing so far. I'm going to talk about the role that hypervigilance played in keeping me from doing that and stuck in a high anxiety state for so long.
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#autistic #hypervigilance #adhd

[@UdderlyEvelyn]

I am struggling with hypervigilance right now. I am AuDHD and PTSD so it really doubles down. Wish I had a friend like you.

[@heatherrae901]

For me, I’m not unsafe and I love my family, so it makes it even more confusing and frustrating that I have such discomfort when socializing with them. It takes so much energy to interact with people (hyper aware of my own body language and trying to appear as if I’m enjoying their company when really I want to escape desperately), it doesn’t make any sense to me. So my coping strategy is just to isolate because I don’t get the same award of happiness normal people get from socializing, it causes way more stress for me so it’s just not beneficial.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

Oh I understand this sooooo much!! I know this may be a dumb thing to say but could you tell your family this and start unmasking more (not having to worry about face/body language) with them? That may add 5% to the social battery lol

[@heatherrae901]

@@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain that’s not dumb at all and maybe I will try to explain my side of it. It hasn’t changed much, I’ve told them before but I guess it was assumed to be a phase I’d grow out of. lol. But you’re right, it’s just part of me and maybe now they’ll be accepting of that.

[@lisawhitehall1870]

❤

[@jeridoney7604]

Omigosh, your comment about hypervigilence and masking just verbalized some cause and effect process I've been struggling to understand! Lately I've been asking myself, "what is MY experience of this....(comment or physical encounter, or situation, etc.) instead of trying to gauge what response is expected of me. I think this is the beginning of unmasking, something I've struggled to understand since learning that I'm NOT broken, or deficient, or crazy, or whatever anyone has called me for all of my life. Thank you. ⚘

[@mchlle94]

Asking that question actually really helps, thanks for your comment as well 😊

[@joan.nao1246]

New sub. Love your hair! And your genuine warmth. If anyone or anything is confusing/inconsistent, I'm finally at a place of not trying to make sense of it or immediately blaming/2nd guessing myself... I just quickly & quietly move on.

[@joeshelton9406]

Omg!!!! I'm in a homeless shelter and you have just described my life. I'm a queer 52 year old in a homeless shelter in skid row and I feel like I just woke up and have been abducted by aliens. Lol

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it's a lot to figure out. ❤️

[@1997Jeep]

I like your videos. I'm a Dyslexic AuDHD I myself.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

Thank you!

[@JHixon-bi8ok]

Same here. I’m An “alphabet” person: ADHD, ASD, EDS, dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc.

[@UnmaskingBryce]

Amazing! I'm so happy for you, I'm in a very similar place and through an app to find friends/romantic partners leaning towards ND and ASD, I've found a great friend on the same track and at the same time. I feel like I'm rediscovering a self that I long forgot I had! It's a bit scary, as I'm so used to yes, being in a confusing environment, and it's hard to keep trying but we're doing the right thing! Just with the wrong people, at least for now. Starting to talk to people, without that "confusion" being present, is testing new skills, ones I don't have much practice with! But skills I've been working hard to need! The future is great, and we're going to make it so, but sometimes we need things now. Accommodations, support, love, a hug, an ear! We all deserve it! It's always okay to ask, because the answer you deserve is yes. Might just need to change who we ask. We can ask, and people can say no, but find the ones that say yes to your needs! It's okay to have different friends to share different things! I'm rediscovering existing people and relationships too! Others have grown alongside me and are ready to connect. (Subscribed for sure, with notifications! Love your content!)

[@JAYSCHULBERG-b9u]

It's so good that you are finding your own way to just being yourself which is the most important thing. For me learning that I am autistic has really been key to understanding why I have felt it has been so hard my whole life to consistently be my real self. I'm still working on these things too.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

Oh it's just so important! I'm glad you're finding your way too! ❤

[@paulh6949]

BEHAIVOR !! NOT WORDS, FAMILYS ACT CRAPPY RATHER THEN .....???? WELL,that's what they do. Rarely change. xoxo

[@autumnpendergast9151]

I am new to all this and after 51 years have no idea what unmasking even entails, but I am excited to find out!

[@kikijewell2967]

I now understand your channel better. This is part of your journey (plus the Meetup group.) I'm so sorry for the relationship and job losses. I'm also going through reorienting all parts of my life. (SaHM divorce.) I need a career and don't need a relationship. Kinda rough right now.

[@Schizm65]

First of all I think you deserve a _load_ of respect for carrying on and share these experiences. One particular thing that bothers me when it comes to this is that the more you _attempt_ to mask and adapt, the more you unconsciously signal that you can and should adapt which makes others expect you even more to act neurotypical so to speak. And so many of us are already in that paradigm of blaming ourselves for not fitting in which makes the whole thing so exhausting. That's why I think that even if it seems scary or wrong, a good thing to do is really become more assertive about your autism. And you need to be lucky to find a healthy social environment or friends or a partner who can really understand and embrace all these quirky traits like stimming, needing time to recharge etcetera. And even once you find a such people it'll take time getting used to the difference. But once things work out you'll lose a lot of the "usual" burden and that's what I hope you'll find.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

Well said. I am finding it, very much and very fast, I'm doing very well.

[@sayusayme7729]

Thank you, this is hitting me like bricks.

[@Groundwater24]

Acceptance and discovery of yourself is so important. So is forgiveness and that one is tough but is vital to achieve that higher consciousness. I think I’m getting there, though. Cutting out the NT-NPD types is even more important, as just being near them depletes your energy. Being in nature with my dog is my calling for the foreseeable. Watching authentic people like this lady and channels like it is also nice and restores my faith in humanity.

[@asmrambioticfluid9467]

Excited to have found your content. I deeply relate

[@Nopadope]

People rejecting me has always turned out to be a blessing and one nudge closer to who I truly am. I’m homeless right now and it sucks butt, however I needed all the rejection to know I wasn’t being myself.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

I hear this. I am so sorry to hear that you are homeless right now 😢

[@shapirodeluxe]

Thank you for sharing this! Your reflections are inspiring. Wishing you the best

[@cassielee1114]

Having colors in your hair immediately others you amongst neurotypicals. I don’t recommend it as it marks you out as vulnerable to the narcissistic types.

[@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain]

Haha I did this after I was out of the toxic relationships. And this is part of me unmasking, by asking "what do I want and what do I like?" But I appreciate your intention with your comment. ❤️