Adult with Autism | Dark Side of Autism | Alcohol

The Dark Side of Autism series covers areas of Autism that I personally feel are misrepresented or overlooked.
In this video, I talk about Alcohol and share stories over the years of its impact, and what it offered...originally.
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[@sawtoothiandi]

"I was drinking to just try to kill brain-cells, so i could fit in with everyone else" - this hit home, felt i couldnt say it though, because it may be misunderstood as arrogance lol. thanks for the video! another thing was, when people pointed alcohol could shorten your life-span, i'd think, good lol, to be done with the stress of just existing.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, I make a fool out of myself enough to thankfully not be accused of arrogance...Well, hopefully so 👍🏻

[@ScarfaceMich]

This hits better than any drug I've ever done.

[@Iris-kc8mq]

Oh this is me..

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@TheAnonymousartist00]

Yeah mine was whatever I can get my hands on when the councilor asked me what drugs I had done in my life I said it would be easier for me to tell you the drugs that I haven't done he says you're joking right? Sadly no!But drugs and alcohol got boring and over time stopped working.And getting and finding drugs is very stressful,full of risks and having to deal with people especially people you dont know or know if they are gonna rob you arrest you or even harm you.Nope that had to go. But because of this my ability to overcome addiction was as easy as getting bored with a game or a hobby you just leave it and move on to the next.But eventually it just does nothing but maintain that addiction and thats it.

[@seekonlytruth512]

I'm 57 I started drinking and partying at 15. The alcohol helped me with the overload of noise movement, drama, overbearing people, unsafety of being at pubs and clubs. I stopped drinking completely before covid and nowadays I'm very thankful for the peace and serenity in my life. I'm adhd and autistic undiagnosed because the NHS have refused my diagnosis. I do wild swimming and running now, living the best life I can. I'm single because I can't cope with intimate relationships, I was married and raised 2 kids, I prefer staying single.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sounds like finding YOUR path is paying better dividends than the life you tried to fit into 👍🏻

[@calebnickson6462]

Nice. 57 also and ADHD and ASD. Gave up the booze 15 years back. Keep at it. Best C

[@memeticmnemonic]

As a 41 year old with autism, and dependant alcoholism, praise you for cutting back.The point was made, I hope I can absorb the philosophy.

[@AdultwithAutism]

The fun had gone, and it didn't do what it used to.

[@madamdardis]

You can do it. I gave up booze with Alcoholics Anonymous for 23 years. I do drink now but it’s minor compared to how it was. I had years I’d psychotherapy too snd it’s helped me a lot. Good luck man.

[@heedmydemands]

​@@madamdardiswow congratulations

[@chrisbrommer275]

I did drink A LOT. Once I fully accepted and began to like and appreciate the autism, and EFF everyone else…. That need just went away. Over all, I’d rather be autistic than the insanity that is neurotypical.

[@FuriosaSonoran]

If you are truly physically dependent, please seek a qualified health practitioner. People who are physically dependent should be medically withdrawn. Between delirium tremens and cardiac/blood pressure risks, serious complications are not uncommon and can be fatal. I wasn't physically dependent, so I just supplemented Thiamine (Vitamin B1)...

[@mklinger23]

I really agree with you with the way alcohol makes you feel. It's not that it calms my anxiety. It slows my mind down. It makes me feel like how I imagine other people feel. Just makes me feel normal.

[@AdultwithAutism]

That's what I always imagined too. Only time I felt I was tuned to the same frequency as others 👍🏻

[@funnycatvideos5490]

Totally relate. My mind is always running and constantly analyzing every aspect of any situation that is currently going on. With a few beers it seemed like this is how a normal person feels when they casually can be social and talk to people. Maybe there is a natural reason why my brain Is Wired like that A coping mechanism to stay out of danger And always be aware of my surroundings. LOL

[@bryanmccaffrey4385]

2 years and 1 month alcohol-free after a good 20 years. I'm so glad I did that work. Life is a lot better.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Really good to hear that

[@PeachyKeen84]

Wow! You helped me understand many aspects of my adult daughter. Her need to drink to feel vulnerable. Brilliant with numbers, angry when sober, intolerant of what she calls “Stupid People”, invalidating of anyone who makes mistakes in life, blaming me then holding on to fantasies of her childhood. Denial that she MAY need someone to be there for her, that it’s everyone else’s fault that she is so confused about life. Love the bones of her. She was diagnosed on the spectrum at 17, but by then she hated me.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sorry to read that Lisa, I can relate to everything you've put there. I went through all that too. The littlest mistake anyone would make from a lapse of concentration and the way I reacted...you'd think a crime had been committed. For me, I had to learn to compartmentalise what I can and cannot control, and then forget about what I can control, because I found it was that section of life that consumed me. Once I taught myself to do and only put my effort and interest in what I actually can control, then I relaxed a little. But it took most of my life to figure that out, and how to do it effectively. I hope it can improve in time.

[@donnablack6280]

I really appreciate your honesty. In that spirit, I'm still in bed with a hangover. Alcohol is going to kill me (accidental suicide, the doctor said). So after a late diagnosis of autism last year I'm doing a bit of self-analysis so I can be my authentic self and give up the fake Donna. I've always said I drink because I need a holiday from my head. The constant overthinking and worrying...I just need to kill it for a few hours! But also the ONLY time I can stand other people, online or in person, is by using alcohol. I never socialise sober. I've got about an hours limit on family or anyone really before I need to hit the bottle. But it needs to change because I hate myself now too. I am not this stupid and weak to let alcohol kill me. So from now on I am the real me. No more nice guy faking it dumbing down agreeing with everything masking just to make other people feel better. I am a highly intelligent autistic female who happens to enjoy solitude and I will no longer adapt to society's expectations of playing nice. Everyone else needs to raise their expectations because I'm coming out as the real me and I may use long words and trample on stupid opinions. Thank you for reading, whomever. 😁

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Donna, I understand what you're saying! I had to accept that I didn't need to do things that put me at a disadvantage by default, which I would do by starting socialising and already buzzed to not be affected. Having a few drinks to turn your brain off was my biggest issue. Once I realised that self-preservation didn't mean I was selfish, that helped. When I realised an invitation was mine to accept or decline and that it wasn't an obligation, that helped. When I stopped attending family events just because they're family, that helped. Slowly but surely, I helped me, and I realised I didn't need to escape as much, which helped how much I consumed. As you say, you're far too intelligent to let it affect you too long too negatively. Always remember you're important too 👍🏻

[@donnablack6280]

Thanks for taking the time to compose a thoughtful reply; it is much appreciated and I feel a bit less weird knowing someone's on my wavelength. Thanks also for your sterling work making these videos. You're genuinely helping folk. All the best. 👍

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Donna, if I can help, I always will.

[@EpiicxFuziion]

You sound like my twin

[@tranzorz6293]

Christ. You just described me to a tee. Its like I was writing this myself. Like you, my journey starts now.

[@allisonhamerla7066]

48 year old late diagnosed here. I can relate to this so much. I am pretty dependent on alcohol for much of my adult life and I absolutely hate that I need it to socialize. It just makes everything quieter so I can think, but then I feel worse later.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I've reached the stage where any of it just makes me sluggish the day after.

[@allisonhamerla7066]

@@AdultwithAutism Yes definitely. I’m getting pretty sick of that feeling too. It’s just not helping like it used to. I’ve been cutting back and I feel better.

[@nickdzw]

The way you describe your past use of alcohol really hits home with me. I had never really thought of it this way but you are very much correct. Drinking slowed my brain down enough to communicate more freely with neurotypical people. The usual chatter of overanalyzing and over observing myself and everything around me was dulled. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all 👍🏻

[@heedmydemands]

Yes same, it felt like it dulled things to how normal people feel o theorized. I find weed does it too but yeah u can b dependant on that too

[@rita.amstlv]

So relateble! I remember that when I drunk one to two beers and I felt complete and so incredibly happy, so alive. Very, very difficult to not drink when the effect is so strong and so positive. 18 years ago I stopped drinking because I could not control my drinking. I had to stop totally. I have stayed sober for 18 years now.

[@AdultwithAutism]

That's amazing. Long may it continue 👍🏻

[@ildyivy]

I really relate to that feeling of being left behind. I couldn’t just go thru life the way everyone else was. It was so painful, and nobody could help me or I was not finding answers. I now understand that this isn’t an accident. Our system wants these traits out of the population so it’s geared on purpose to disadvantage gifted people since we don’t make good cheap labor I guess.

[@AdultwithAutism]

There is certainly a reason why non Autistic people 'gatekeep' Autism, and always want to find where it comes from rather than accepting it.

[@ildyivy]

@@AdultwithAutism I noticed with u as well that u have certain standards or expectations of the people around u and of the societal institutions. When those grossly fail us, it’s probably not by accident 😂 sorry if I’m a bit conspiracy theorist.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Only keep people around who genuinely want the best for you...the 'accidents' severely reduce 👍🏻

[@SartorialisticSavage65]

🌟

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@adamtobin8132]

I’m 41. Kind of a big but sensitive blue collar person. My experience as living with autism really resonated with this. This is absolutely what my life and journey looked like. Every little bit. You’re blowing my mind sir. Thank you. You got a fan for life here.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks 👍🏻

[@tinishamccroskey7752]

I just subscribed. I feel the exact same with drinking like it clears my mind and makes things slow down. I am detoxing now and trying to find new ways to decompress and slow down. This was really helpful and I especially relate to feeling like the world was fake and the anger I felt realizing it doesn't matter what you do just how it looks and I'm just now accepting it somewhat sorry to ramble just wanted to thank your for this video.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Tinisha, really glad it was helpful. You can ramble as much as you like, I do it non-stop in every video so don't worry about it!

[@candicemitchell6093]

Ditto!!!

[@myntndmarriage]

Good topic for discussion Paul. I feel like there would be many autistic people who move towards alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with the NT world, as a way to come out of their shell, and it could easily become something they soon rely on (get addicted to).

[@AdultwithAutism]

I agree. That initial feeling it brought me was addictive, thankfully the alcohol wasn't for me.

[@98Ashb]

I got to say Paul since my anxiety went up I've drank more to cope with it which in fact makes it worse.This comes from not having any area in life where I've excelled at.Have you gone through periods where your concentration is rubbish?

[@heiku70]

I was diagnosed recently. I realize when I did socialize there was always wine coolers available or something everywhere I went. I was 16. Before that I was an A student and quiet. I always drank to socialize and have just realized that

[@Kristo1992-yq2gi]

Simplified perception, reducing things to the important fundamentals.... I relate to this so much! You do a superb job of explaining the appeal of alcohol's effects to someone who is on the spectrum.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks. Just being honest 👍🏻

[@TheHeIIion]

This is without a doubt the single most relatable video I've ever watched. I was diagnosed nearly 30 years ago and am now 37, but that's so true about using alcohol to slow things down, because that's the only time the brain doesn't feel completely wired with so much useless noise, and is where I think a lot of feelings of autism related anxiety comes from since there's never really a time where it feels like brain ever truly rests (even after sleep). I personally have only had positive experiences with alcohol (other than that first time where I didn't know my limits...), but there's always so many times I get back from work feeling like I'm holding back some unknown stress and just want to sit down and sip vodka for a few hours. And then once the weekend comes around I'm like "right, it's drinking time" because I've fooled myself into thinking it's one of the main things I look forward to in a week. I would love to give up alcohol for the most part, but I guess I still haven't quite figured out how to redirect all that pent up energy in a more beneficial way. Also, that's very true what you said about recalling details and conversations. Never lie to an autistic, because we will remember (even if we didn't intend to) and we will call you out for it.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Really good to know it was relatable. Thank you 👍🏻

[@ClaireCambridge]

Paul you’re on fire with the content lately I need to put on the list and watch them all!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks for that Claire, much appreciated 👍🏻

[@feralbluee]

Hi ~ This is my third visit in a row :) you have such a different response and, I think, it was good for you when you were young. Later it got complicated. a glass of wine sure is relaxing, letting talk to people without anxiety🍷 I’m probably bothering you and everyone, but I want to say I so agree with you on IQ tests, and politicians - you broke that down so simply and succinctly. There is quite a lot going on in your head. I’m glad it doesn’t bother you as much now. 🙂🌷🌱

[@Ramagon98]

Cheers! Figured I may as well have one while watching ;-) Paul, I'm amazed at how you can do this in "one take"... I tend to get "off track" so quickly, and then am self-conscious that I can't remember what the original point was. Anyway, you've absolutely nailed it (for me) with the IQ tests and drinking... and that you're "faking" just to be normal and everyone else is faking to "get ahead". I've often wondered if KZbin "tells" you at what point in the video someone hits the like button... but that was it for me. Toggled it on and off several times for good measure! ;-) As always, enjoyed the video... and am definitely looking forward to the next ones. Take care.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, cheers Nathan. You might see one take, but what you don't see are the 20 failed attempts that came before it. My blooper reel would be 4 times longer than each video with putting my foot in it 😂

[@ApeHolder42069]

Thanks for basically describing everything about me better than I could myself.. . Food for thought

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you for reaching out 👍🏻

[@hannahcochrane1295]

This was an incredible watch. I don’t know if it’s sunk in what you’ve done with this video but I don’t think I’ve ever unpacked this as much as I have through watching this. Thank you for being vulnerable + honest.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you, and no problem 👍🏻

[@paulrudd1063]

Thanks for making this video Paul. I really identified with a lot of the things you said in this video. I had very similar experiences to you when I was in my late teens and twenties except I didn’t have a home to turn to. Autism is mean to be a developmental delay and when I think about it, it just took me longer to get out of my early twenties than all of my peers.

[@AdultwithAutism]

That's a good way of putting it 👍🏻

[@swimtosafety]

Absolutely incredible - Thank you so much for verbalising so perfectly how I have felt all my life. Everything you said is just spot on. It helps to make me feel not so alone.

[@AdultwithAutism]

You are so welcome!

[@hrtdinasaurette3020]

Made absolute sense to me fella. Thank you.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No worries 👍🏻

[@Jonquil..]

Thank you for this.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem 👍🏼

[@michaeldowney2940]

Thank you for your honesty.🤘

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏼

[@Hell_Billy]

As an adult that has audhd I sat and cried a lot to the beginning of this video. Today I really wanted to relapse but you just putting it into words and being vulnerable brought me back down. I don’t have the strength to not let myself spiral in the freedom but I’m incredibly proud of you for keeping a handle on it. Thank you so much for helping me feel less alone today. ❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

I am really glad it helped. You are always in control of your own choices my friend, and we always have to make the best one we can. I wish you well.

[@Blokoddity]

I really appreciate this.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you 👍🏻

[@dejavunous3478]

Very well said. I can relate to everything you've shared.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

Love the confidence wisdom and totally agree, it's primarily needed by those who depend on how others think about them - and perhaps by the wiring and not so much by insecurities and what not.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I live by it. I know I am not a bad person, and I know I don't want to wrong people either. I give a version of myself to others than treats others like I have known them forever and offer a level of respect. If they choose to dislike that person, that's their issue not mine.

[@isotope73]

Excellent!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks 👍🏻

[@nee-na6874]

I respect your video about autism and alcohol... It makes me so sad to think back on the years when I used to drink.. even though I never got to be dependent, I did use it trying to be social and fit in, etc. It never worked out for me and the older I got, the more my brain and body chemistry basically couldn't tolerate alcohol to the point where I felt like I was "allergic" to alcohol! I finally just quit it altogether 5 years ago and I don't miss it at all. I still remember the supposedly "good times with friends", but I don't have any desire for that anymore, because now I see the unfulfillment of the whole thing. It just ain't worth it. Plus I don't miss the traumatic events that also went along with the whole alcohol experience. 😢 Thank you for sharing your autism experience. ❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

I definitely understand the allergic feeling. I got that too, and still do when I have more than a couple these days 👍🏻

[@Thexpertoneverything]

Thank god I am not alone. I cannot thank you enough for this. Love every second.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Glad you liked it 👍🏻

[@HM-hf7lw]

Thank you. I’m trying to quit. I feel like I resonate with everything you said. I found out last week I am autistic. Late diagnosis. I self diagnosed but took many tests and I just know also from my life experiences and also an IQ test. Thank you! I never knew how to explain my alcoholism except for I can see far too much and I cannot fit in without masking… I’m gradually meeting accepting people who I don’t have to mask around. I also don’t give a flying f about the work world anymore. I wish I could do what I like, but I have so many interests it’s hard to pivot and commit and also there are annoying people and systems everywhere. Thank you ❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good to hear you related. And it's really good to hear you are owning your own world now, and not trying to make a square peg fit a round hole 👍🏼

[@RatsPicklesandMusic]

I started drinking regularly when I moved out of my parent's house and I with my boyfriend. I had my own fridge now and my own space and I found that alcohol at home after work would "help" me to wind down. It was liking the routine of having a drink every evening that began it. But once I had one, I always had 3. And as I'm hitting my late 20s it was becoming obvious it was a bad routine to have. I got scared for my liver and wanted to stop, but I'd developed a bit of dependence and so now at 29 I'm working on limiting myself now to maybe having one evening a week for drinks. Some weeks I have do that, others I do 2 days, some weeks none at all. It's a bit hilly now but it's better. But yes. Alcohol for me gave me control of what emotions I wanted to feel. My thing is having alcohol while listening to music in the evening. It's euphoric (at first). But if I get to that third drink... It stops feeling so good and I don't sleep well.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I relate to that very well. It became something to soften the daily average which others didn't even notice. Being affected by 'normality'. So I needed to create my own version. The problem is, most of my versions were detrimental in some form or another. But it is good to hear that you notice a pattern you could benefit being out of, and are making steps to move away from 👍🏻

[@billkress2606]

Thanks Paul for your unfiltered insights and your willingness to share. And, may I add, beautifully articulated. Your accumulated wisdom rings true. Like you, blunting the environmental overwhelms associated with a high IQ and/or being a HSP has definitely served a much needed purpose over the years (I'm 65). I'm still sorting things out after a Bipolar 2 diagnosis at 55 (no meds). Honestly, I just think that I just feel things way too much. My mind races constantly, playing out virtually every scenario possible to their logical (and illogical) conclusions as a defense mechanism. Thankfully, I receive disability here in the states or I might not still be here. I've been masking ever since kindergarten. I am exhausted. I had kids at 30 and have been white-knuckling ever since (twice divorced). As to reaching one's resiliency limits, I taught tennis for 40 years in overly-stimulating environments, to great detriment. I have no idea how I pulled it off with anxiety levels through the roof on a daily basis. What's that Rod Stewart song... I Wish That I Knew All I Know Now, When I Was Younger? One question: how do you know specifically that you are autistic, and not just a big-brained, highly sensitive guy with a turbocharged nervous system an awesome beard? Thanks, man! Good luck with your compensatory plight.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many reasons, but I will settle on the fact I don't understand nearly every other person I meet! Their interest, the blinded commitment to following the path of life and societal norms. My reclusive nature due to it, and that it is much more natural to converse with other Autistic people. Myself and nearly everyone else (non-Autistic), it is like watching the same TV show called life, but we are watching it on two different channels 👍🏻

[@billkress2606]

@@AdultwithAutism Thank you! I look forward to watching more of your videos

[@billkress2606]

@@AdultwithAutism This video may or not apply. High IQ individuals are like their own separate species, running on intellect, unable to relate to the emotionally driven flock. kzbin.info/www/bejne/npjamJKZa9iBgcksi=n0AkaHYGtLU9tei_

[@kenfowler1980]

Well said! You actually described my life from my teenage years, through to now (my sixth decade on the planet). So thankyou for your wisdom Cheers

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you 👍🏻

[@sun-god-ra]

Amazing video. Amazing points. Thank you.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you 👍🏻

[@motorcyclehair]

Also, your brand of humor is hilarious!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good job I don't try, otherwise my jokes would fall on their face!

[@motorcyclehair]

Paul, I'm Di & I also have autism. I LOVE your channel....I relate to alot of your content. Glad I found your channel. I sought eval after burnout 9-2020...although it's sad/injustice....feels nice to know I'm not the only autistic who's gone through that. Cheers.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Di, good to hear you relate to my waffle 👍🏻

[@motorcyclehair]

@@AdultwithAutism (Sorry...long-winded reply, can't help it). I've found some interesting things with autism lately. I didn't even know what autism was until 2020. I was dx'd w/ADD-inattentive type w/a slew of other shite at 16--I'm about to be 37 now. I started putting 2/2 together when I learned what burnout was. I just really needed to find out what happened to me....did I have a nervous breakdown. I am female...but I present more male/identify with alot of the struggles I hear my fellow male autistics describe. On that same note, I have met males that identify more with more female traits--I find this really interesting. ALSO--many times you said "waffle" I thought you were making waffles. I was like, "When is this man going to get his waffle...it's cold by now!" I don't normally think so literally I can't get that type of language...but maybe being American is why it threw me. I'm also a little shocked by what happened at your job...I know the UK is not perfect, but I thought you guys were light years ahead of the U.S. in research & the way the accommodated/treated workers. You're really providing alot of value to our community by sharing your story & what happened to you. Glad you're on YT--we need more like ye'.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm glad I've got some uses...and no, I definitely won't be making any waffles 😂 The UK is a terrible place currently. If people like living here, it's because they're in a privileged position. People like me take the penalties for everything, and the pension age...pretty sure I'll have to be 200 years old before I'm allowed to retire! But that's another topic for another day.

[@ian_occultist]

Great video. We need more of this stuff. I was diagnosed this year at 50 and it's a struggle. It explains my issues with alcohol too but tbh its the only thing that calms me down as you describe. I've tried everything except pharmaceutical medication and refuse to. But I also know that booze affects GERD in the brain and is a double edged sword, I have panic disorder and alcohol makes it ten times worse. It really helps knowing other people are out there going through the same stuff. Good on you mate. Cheers. Liked & subscribed.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Topics are always welcome. I want to talk about the things others don't...or won't. Life isn't rosy for all of us, and a light needs shining on it 👍🏻

[@hughgrza]

Try ice bath

[@roxanes43]

A decongestant for the brain... Yes! Going to the bars young, then got carded for ID on my 21st bday - still imagine the shock on the faces of years-long servers. Employment and friendships were very complicated amid the fakeness. And trying to find an excuse/escape for me. Then what do we do as adults and keeping ourselves sane. You sum this up brilliantly with the warning of a crutch no matter one's age. Thanks!

[@AdultwithAutism]

You're welcome 😁

[@GemmasJourneyGrace]

hey Paul thank you for doing these series videos it really helps us the viewer to get to know you more, i personally do not drink alcohol , as i used to drink cider recently i found out i may be allergic. Great video

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Gemma. Just trying to share anything on the off chance it could help others. Hope you're doing okay.

[@GemmasJourneyGrace]

@@AdultwithAutism hey Paul I’m feeling down lately but I’m ok

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sorry to hear that, hopefully you'll be back up and running before long again. Just remember to only focus on what you can control 👍🏻

[@GemmasJourneyGrace]

@@AdultwithAutism yeah that’s what I realised from your video

[@Smyrna37]

37 year old woman diagnosed at in 2018. Your spot on with everything your saying. I can relate

[@AdultwithAutism]

That's good to hear. Thank you 👍🏻

[@EpiicxFuziion]

Love you Paul xx

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, many thanks.

[@kayjay-kreations]

Thankyou again

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem 👍🏻

[@calebnickson6462]

Exactly my experience. Gave up the booze 15 years ago. Best thing I have ever done. Mind you naked ADHD +ASD is not fun

[@FuriosaSonoran]

Thanks for making this, it is a timely reminder. My longest stint sober was nearly 10 consecutive years. I discovered that while i definitely can be a problem drinker, i do not, by definition, have a "drinking problem". And. The cult of 12 step ideology was problematic at a lot of levels. I drank compulsively some since then... particularly when my best friend topped herself early in the c0vd mass hysteria, though i dont drink now. I'm 43, not in my 20's... It makes me feel awful, and honestly I have high BP from chronic stress syndromes- so drinking would literally put me in the grave if i did it. Up until a month or 2 ago i was a daily drinker of the nitecap duo, but decided to stop. Last nite was NYE, so i had 2 salty dogs (grapefruit and vodka)... just after my birthday almost a year ago i had my first bout of pancretitis. I prefer to think it was due to toxoplasmosis exposure, though it could have been attributed to alcohol misuse as well. It was excruciating. I legit thought i may be having a cardiac event. I think ppl underestimate just how many deaths are affected by alcohol consumption in some capacity. I have watched literally every episode of "Dr. G Medical Examiner", and I'm an EMT... substance misuse (particularly alcohol) is a MAJOR cause of death... And considering it's also a known carcinogen, probably factors into cancer mortality stats too.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Alcohol is definitely starting to not agree with me anymore. One drink and I feel bad the next day as if I have been on a session. I am staying away from it, and all the situations if may have been needed for.

[@JeffMTX]

God bless you bro, I relate, from Texas :)

[@AdultwithAutism]

Same to you

[@callangilmore7454]

Wow! I’ve never heard someone speak my exact relationship with alcohol and my thought process so accurately! 😳

[@jasonclarke7422]

I understand 100% what you said about drinking Paul,when I was 18 I had a short time of unemployment and would have to sign on at my local job centre and it made me feel even more out of tune with the world,after a couple of weeks of doing this I would buy a small bottle of vodka just to be able to get through the job centre door, I stopped doing this as on my way back home on the train I went to get off as the train slowly pulled into the station and totally misjudged how fast the train was going and landed flat on my face, after a stern telling of by the train guard I vowed never to drink in the daytime again, thankfully all trains are now built with electric doors that will automatically open when the train stops so that any numpties like I was hopefully won’t have this happen to them.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Ah, bad times! Coping mechanisms are fine...so long as we can cope with them!

[@Erik-the-Southern-Viking]

Paul, I just have to comment on a related point you made in this video from 1 Year Ago: I too have a very very Sharp memory for things co-workers or bosses said/did in the workplace. Over the decades I have Lost Count of the number of times that they Denied ever doing/saying it - and I was then called a 'liar'.... Other workmates would NEVER back me up for fear of losing their jobs, and I was always on the Slippery Slope to getting laid-off or fired soon after. I'm Self Employed now, but the Hurt & Anger from the past still burns me up, for being the Truth Teller, & then being Humiliated and Scapegoated for it by Sociopath Pathalogical-liar Bosses & Cowards in my 'Team'.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sounds scarily familiar 👍🏼

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hey Paul, I didn’t really start drinking until I was 30. My dad had a problem with alcohol for a short time when I was a kid. Plus I learned in my 20’s the an attribute of ADHD was low impulse control so I was afraid I would become addicted. Now I enjoy a gin & tonic now and then and sometimes a glass of wine. It does slow the brain down so that is nice on occasion. Another great video!

[@AdultwithAutism]

On occasion and low amounts...moderation is good for most things I think. Although try telling me that at an all you can eat!

[@bryanmerton5153]

@@AdultwithAutism Ha ha! I am so bad at all you can eat!

[@AdultwithAutism]

They're the best 😂

[@allysonlinton1077]

5:30-7; Wow... you described so well my experience w/drinking.. Aspe diagnosed this yr. @ 36 yo. 😕

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good to know I'm not on my own 👍🏻

[@ithacacomments4811]

I can get the mode of trying to fix or right everything in the world. Very black and white thinking. I try to keep to the mindset of righting a few little things a day these days. It might be picking up the trash in my neighborhood or giving someone struggling to walk the offer of an arm to cross the street. The little things that I do on my own around my apartment complex. I might clean something that needs a clean. I might weed a garden. I see the details that others do not see. I need no praise or attention for doing so. I have used my detailed orientated skills to help my community. Doing so gives me enjoyment. I can walk by something that was a total mess and think to myself...."I made that better."

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's a good way to be. If it brings you enjoyment and you need nothing from it, only the knowledge you have made something better, then I can't see much wrong with that at all.

[@lanternlightwoodworx]

This hit home for so damn many reasons. I have always since childhood had problems sleeping and knew i was very different. fast forward to after a break up on my behalf with the absolutely sweetest woman on the planet (never had sleep issues laying with her at night, and the most frequent sex of my life-no doubt there is a correlation) to 20 freaking years of a average of a 12 pack a night just to be able to quiet my damn mind and be able to sleep because there was no way i would get more then a cat nap at BEST. I too have had multiple tests thought my life for IQ starting at 8th grade and then into the Navy after i took the entrance exam and the guy stared at me strange and then got his partner to look at the results and then HE stared at me.... Learned a long time ago to just leave the numbers out of the conversations. thank you sir for this video

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you for sharing 👍🏻

[@AleshaCarson-oh3kg]

Mine was weed not alcohol but I relate to you a lot. Thank you for your vulnerability ❤️

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all 👍🏻

[@garyduncan7039]

Its amazing how every topic hits so close to my heart. Alcohol got me thru a lot of social situations when i was younger, but then it lost what i wanted it to do for my inner demons. Its funny isnt it that i gave up drinking 12 years ago and havent heard a dickie bird from my old acquaintances, and now im very happy not to have contact with so many shallow people. You brought it up on another video abt telling someone abt having autism its like i told em i was inhuman or something from the responses you get including family. Also i ended meeting my wife in aa and we are both dry together and she gets my autism coz our 10 year old is autistic and she struggles with stuff too, coz otherwise no other type of partner would work for me as it would be too toxic without a doubt.Forgive me for essay. Gaz

[@AdultwithAutism]

Essay forgiven 👍🏻

[@Neptunianist]

Everything you said could’ve been said by me. I can completely relate to the need to fit in, even trying to dumb myself down. Like you, my IQ was high, at 155, similar to yours. I also drank sometimes but worried about losing my intelligence and awareness. I didn’t fit in at all. “Ignorance is bliss” and not seeing and knowing what I saw and knew must, I thought, be lovely. Everyone will like me and I will see things the way they do. My memory, like yours, is photographic. I could recall what was said and when a recap. was made, and their statement was different than what they had said, my assertions of “you said this, not that”, was met with accusations of my erroneous recollection. Despite being perfect. I have gradually learnt to keep quiet and still understand and know but not to confront or challenge others or try to be the owner of objective truth. Nor, necessarily, to fit in. I accept that I don’t. Now I find myself thinking more about understanding what is going on with how I do see things; what is the meaning and significance of the patterns, what does it mean that something is valued from one perspective (e.g. right clothes) as compared with another (e.g. etiquette) or whether what is valuable is not the same as what is important and what is important is just as transmutable as what is valuable.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Ignorance is bliss...until it isn't! But it's nice for a while isn't it 👍🏻

[@marikac6263]

I do like the feeling after a drink, but I rarely drink and if I do it's because it's nice (usually family) meeting or just an evening with a movie. And it always has to be tasty.. sweet wine (4 or 5), liqueur, kopparberg, mojito. Funnily enough, I have been really drunk only a few times and I normally have a really good visual memory but then especially, the memories are so vivid and I do remember how funny I acted, still some of the best memories... It's good and pretty amazing actually that you never got addicted with the amounts you drank.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sounds like you have a really sweet tooth when it comes to it! I think because I drank for the feeling i was fixated on, the other reasons people drink never came into play. I also don't have an addictive personality and can leave anything behind if I don't want it.

[@9blackpoppies]

I'm 42 (was diagnosed when 35) now and I stopped drinking a few years back because it just started being gross to me. I was physically dependent on it for probably 20 years, starting at age 19. And I also drank for the reasons you spoke of. I definitely killed tons and tons brain cells. Also never cared much what people thought of me, never got confidence from it. Detoxing from alcohol was one of the hardest things I ever did. I don't really miss it though. Just didn't wanna do it anymore.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I get that. I'm glad you just lost the interest too, I'm sure it does no favours in the long run 👍🏻

[@autisticautumn7379]

After domestic violence and losing my job .I ended up on three to four bottles of wine a day .I had to stop completely .

[@AdultwithAutism]

Wow, that's heavy. But better to stop than carry on at that degree 👍🏻

[@The-Finisher]

Me too. This is all so helpful to connect the dots.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Glad it helps 👍🏻

[@launacasey6513]

Oof, yet another topic I relate to. I was masking so much and drinking heavily to slow my racing brain and in order to fit it. The problem is, they liked the buzzed or drunk me. I began to think that was my best self, but I was very disillusioned about it all. In my 20s it felt like a competition while out "socially drinking" to be able to drink the most or more importantly handle it the best. Having Irish roots and alcoholism in my family, I was really good at handling my alcohol. Too good. Being competitive is not in my true nature, neither is standing out. I want to be appreciated and noticed in less overt ways. A final thought - it's good to take breaks from things. Be aware of what you're doing and try not to go straight to self-criticism and self-hate (easier said than done).

[@AdultwithAutism]

It is good to take the breaks...if only it was that easy to digest that whilst we're in the depths of things! 👍🏻

[@EmperorZaph1512]

I had noticed the exact same thing about alcohol, it just decongests my brain and gets rid of all the social inhibitions that plagued my life. I also noticed something similar with anesthesia, anytime I got a procedure done it feels like I would mentally be cleared up for about a week or 2 before going back to my usual self. Now if only the ways to slow myself down werent literally toxic to me

[@AdultwithAutism]

There does need to be a less inpactful way of helping ourselves...especially when we need to do it just to blend in.

[@bryanfreeman437]

So true. Same with weed and coke TBH. At least in certain quantities. I relate to your life and thoughts so much bro.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Glad you can relate 👍🏻

[@helencampbell]

As a masked autistic for all my life, I was dependent on alcohol for decades. Now I’m diagnosed v late in life I’m 4.5 years sober. Best thing ever BUT I know alcohol helped me in so many ways. I miss the crutch sometimes. Thank you for a great video x

[@AdultwithAutism]

I hear you there, but massive congrats on the sobriety. The feeling of waking up clean is worth the not drinking...but it is hard telling yourself that come an evening when you are burnt out!

[@helencampbell]

@@AdultwithAutism absolutely. I’m very much like you with my ‘asocial’ thing. I’m better not being around people x

[@cherylween4973]

I had a boyfriend who I think was autistic with ADHD. He became an alcoholic due to depression, I believe.

[@tranzorz6293]

Dont know if im autistic? Could be... got lots of the traits. But ive always drunk heavily (binge drink) to totally change my personality so i can fit in with other people and not feel so alone even if it is for only a few hours.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I used to do the same thing.

[@Diverse_Interests]

Giftedness traits and ASD traits overlap around 35% and more the higher the IQ climbs. I am a gifted woman and your comments are very much like what it is to live life as gifted. I come to ASD sites as ASD has more info and discussion on the traits that make things challenging. One of the reasons I mask and have since childhood is that people will apply everything negative to being high IQ and will go out of their way to hurt you or, bully and then shun. It can lead to horrid burnout and when the mask slips, it risks your job. Giftedness is the hardware difference for data processing. Broadens bandwidth for how many things you can keep in mind, what kind of connections you can see. To really see it in full action...the desired savant state neurotypicals try to make gifted kids become to be their version of successful requires being consumed by one interest above anything else and not be in a neurotypical social structure in the work place. It's that hyper focus that clears all the thought jumble racing through ones head and designing your own environment to cut down or out issues with hypersensitivity is essential. It stops meltdowns, it cuts out rumination, combine routine for self care things and inner/outer world becomes more peaceful . Sleep issues become non issues. Giftedness is hated and when looking for societies for help or similar people to connect with all you find is neurotypicals creating "everyone is gifted" groups...gifted at hat wearing, gifted at laughter, gifted at knitting. Its neural wiring differences not gifted is you're the best at something. In society, you are thought to magically become neurotypical as soon as you're an adult..like an adult gifted person is a mythological beast. Brain damage to be less tormented and out of place in this world, I used to think a good head injury to kill neurons would make life less painful because of the clash of mind types leaving me drained and an outsider. Know both sides, ASD and Gifted, notice same traits but in ASD most traits are titled with negative connotation. Understand why it's seen that way by neurotypicals and understand even more. I recommend anyone neurodivergent learns about the other mind types, it's often a blur of misdiagnosis. You are both, you won't fully know yourself unless you dig into Giftedness as well. It's no fairy tale as society likes to make it. You can still hide, I do, masking as needed is a defence, but consider separating what is public belief on Giftedness vs what it actually is, as it does really help.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I've never looked into Giftedness, I've never ever heard of it. I'll read into it. Thank you 👍🏻

[@Diverse_Interests]

@@AdultwithAutism You are quite similar to me and so many things make more sense and are easier for me now that I see different sides of the same traits and look at aspects of ASD, ADHD and Giftedness as interconnected by hyper nervous system connection/density. Plus, for peace of mind, find books on neurotypical minds by neurodivergent people, had I known when I was younger, much of the struggles would have disappeared. Band width issues and limitations on what can be processed and perceived is very real in neurotypicals. Have to accommodate that mind types disabilities too, even when part of their traits is to deny differences or disabilities. Lots of weird social hierarchy things are built into social interactions with that type of mind, sussing up rank positions and usefulness. Think of it as limited band width for data and data processing and compensation is outsourcing to other people by ties of alliance. It's eye opening to learn what small talk is and the hidden rules of interaction. It has to do with basically the mentality of "more for me" and a system of owing favours. It's like something I would have expected out of a sci-fi novel but it's true. Zero sum gamers. It's good you do this public work. It's helped me because it is real and gives a better perspective. Thanks!

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all 👍🏻

[@aspieRX]

Yes exactly alcohol is a decongestant literally. My sense of smell got better after 3 beers. Like your definition of confidence man. I started videos, like you, because I couldn't find any autistic drunks like me. Cheers lol

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'll drink to that 👍🏻

[@baldersn4474]

Theres millions of them..They just havent been diagnosed...

[@TheCakeIsNotaVlog]

The change in your IQ score is most likely because they’re using a different scale, now. Culture Fair seems to be the most widely used, so it’s probably that. That’s the one Mensa uses. It stops somewhere in the 140s, I believe, so a 15-20 point difference sounds spot on

[@danam3326]

Stumbled upon this from studying my INTJ personality type. People have also joked and called me an Aspie. I was sober for a year and then moderate but then to many traumas happened since 2020 and I’m back to drinking daily. I’d love to get sober again and I wasn’t even that anxious but I don’t trust the medical establishment anymore.

[@AdultwithAutism]

You will, when you are ready to. And then 'one day' will become 'day one'. Best of luck to you.

[@kissfan8675309]

All that has happened since I quit is I don’t get my weekly freedom that I used to get. Drinking was definitely an escape but I believe it was highly therapeutic for me also.. I though quitting might make me feel better but nah.

[@kissfan8675309]

Thought

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's finding something to take its place...it's just finding what that thing is?

[@ConnorBowdler-lv5km]

Your hilarious mate. Like alot of your audience I've probably got late recognised autism. Thumbs up

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, many thanks.

[@carolinatavares6430]

When i drink i feel i get to say what i really mean. But after a few more drinks, i may snap. Its scary for others to watch, and really hurts me, fisically and emotionally. Only now im realizing the damage alcohol makes in me. Salutes from brazil thanks for bringing ip this topic

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem. Hope it was useful 👍🏻

[@LoneRider502]

I felt that with the IQ tests and drinking to "dumb it down". I took mine and was put at 176. I joined mensa with the hopes that maybe that's what I was missing in life, but they were almost worse than the general population. I spent years feeling like I just don't fit anywhere with anyone, and the drinking went form getting that slow down, to dumbing myself down to fit in with people who just had what I felt a better life being "dumb". It was many years later I discovered I was autistic and while I still drink as my own thing, I don't look at things quite the same way. I drink almost every night, but its never do get drunk. That takes far too much...it's simply my way to wind down and just relax.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I can relate to all that. And have a drink for the same reason now, just to relax, and let me know I'm not in 'work mode Paul' anymore.

[@jordanbailey2044]

Damn, I understand getting clarity when having a few drinks. I struggle without it in a social environments, even 1-1 situations, but have flirted with drinking too much, including drinking solo without any social component at all.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Me too. Drinking alone was for me to 'assist in recovering' from having to socialise all week in situations like work 👍🏻

[@leefleury7759]

I had a period in my 20s where I drank too much, was more to try to fit in during social events. I'd always fail at doing so and just keep drinking until blacking out and making a fool out of myself in one way or another. My real vice that I still use as a crutch is weed, it just takes away so much of the noise that I normally have going on. I do think a lot of it is chasing the feeling of calm in my mind and just numbing things. It's not healthy but I struggle otherwise.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I know the feeling of needing something to help, but it's allowing yourself the time to find other ways less detrimental to help. An overnight solution just isn't there, but slow and steady mate and I'm sure you can come away from your crutch as you did alcohol. Just remember it has to be something that works for you, not the desires of the masses 👍🏻

[@motorcyclehair]

Products w/small amts of thc% are now legal in TX (where I am) thanks to the Compassion Act. You are eligible if you have autism or PTSD. I used to smoke weed alot--I do occassionally. I hate relying on anything-I'm too independent & it annoys me. I have my medical marijuana card--although TX hasn't quite figured out to make a great product yet. The THC edibles are ok--but EXPENSIVE & usually fat based-which fucks with my stomach. I don't look at weed as a drug now...for some, with autism/epilepsy/PTSD....societal/mental models are changing to "medicine" vs "drugs." Thought you might find that interesting. Anxiety is such a big part of an autistics life---it's the mid-brain you're trying to get to chill out. So I feel, neurologically people are looking for something/anything to feel calm/sense of homeostasis. I used to drink alot from 16-28 to fit in & anxiety. I still can't face social gatherings, without a glass of wine or something. I really don't like hanging out with other people lol.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Fair enough. Not the case on this side of the pond. We have a useless PM who is currently wanting home workers in offices as he thinks being at home means you eat too much cheese (true story), so I can't see him looking at any bill to decriminalise marijuana! 😂

[@welder1357]

Hindsight is 20:20 , literally! The detailed recall of the abusive things that my wife would say to me during her meltdowns destroyed our marriage after 26 years. When things really started to fall apart and we would revisit pain from the past she would ask. Why did you stop doing this and why did you start doing that? Because that's what you wanted me to do. That's what you said... My memory of the events was so detailed that I could recall the weather outside, the direction I was facing, where we were standing in the house, the tone of her voice and the exact words she said. Her fantasy world came apart when I started recording to have proof that I was telling the truth. And even after hearing herself say the words on the recording she would still deny and say that's not what she was saying. "What were we even talking about that day?" "That's a different time". "Why are you so mean to me?" For over 20 years I overlooked the occasional false accusation. But later it became daily "gas lighting" and constant meltdowns from holding her accountable to her words and actions. During those moments she would lose all control and do things totally out of character. I would have forgiven her and move past the pain if she would have just stopped calling me a liar and stopped abusing me behind closed doors. I would not give up on her, our marriage, or our family, so she ended it officially by sleeping with one of her co-workers. " I did that! , to end this." That time we agreed, "It's over." All the pain that had led up to that moment kicked off soul searching and a deep dive into research. I knew my wife was autistic long before she did, but what I did not know is that she was a covert narcissist and then became a full-blown malignant out of her mind narcissist who has destroyed her own world and our children's.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Narcissists target Autistic people as their number one target. No idea why.

[@AleshaCarson-oh3kg]

My memory is the same way ❤️

[@AdultwithAutism]

My mind would benefit from a snooze button 😴

[@uniquechannelnames]

Thank you for tearing down IQ tests despite dropping your high score in there. You really described it perfectly, yes it measures memory and pattern recognition etc... but like you said it measures nothing positively human, the beautiful part of being human like imagination or creativity, perception or wisdom. And IQ is nothing to brag about. If anyone wants a social rule of thumb: never drop your IQ score in a social setting, it will never ever, EVER do you good. You'll either come off as a shallow braggart with nothing truly interesting to talk about.. or you'll make your social company feel bad and insecure and that makes you an asshole. To me all the truly brilliant scientific minds like Turing, Dirac, Einstein, Bohr, Von Neumann, Tesla, Feynman etc... I would say their more valuable intellectual assets besides their genius was a blindingly bright imagination that they shone everywhere, making scientific progress a creative sandbox and that no perspectives or new ideas were off limits because they understood they were operating on the bleeding edge of thought, understanding. As long as they couldn't be disproven outright. And lastly ofc the hard work at understanding the problems on the deepest level possible. Newton didnt understand gravity in one day, Einstein didn't write general relativity in one day. Tesla says in a book of his writings ("My Inventions and other writings") "I am credited with being one of the hardest workers and perhaps I am, if thought is the equivalent of labour, for I have devoted to it almost all my waking hours. But if work is interpreted to be a definite performaNce in a specified time according to a rigid rule then I may be the worst of idlers. Every effort under compulsion demands a sacrifice of life-energy. I never paid such a price. On the contrary, I have thrived off my thoughts." I always thought that such a beautiful quote, and I would highly, highly recommend getting this book and reading it, as it opens up the thinking process of a certified genius. How he constructed and molded the strength of his mind like a muscle at the gym until he could literally visualize and manipulate his inventions in his mind's eye. This was how he was able to write down a single final draft of his inventions and they would be complete and work because he not only constructed them in his mind but he could "test run" them until they worked perfectly. It's just an amazing book, and his parents are very intersting, his father the son of an officer of Napoleon, was very intelligent in that he could recite volumes of passages perfectly, what we woud call the oral tradition. But he hated books and actually disallowed Tesla from reading, so he had to sneak his reading in by candlelight at night. His mother was especially interesting and an incredibly intelligent and insurmountably wise woman. She encouraged his reading despite her husband's misgivings. When Tesla got a gambling addiction at a young age she just handed over all their money and basically said "hit rock bottom now so we can be rid of this addiction soon, instead of a long drawn out affair". Anyway I could go on forever but do read the book!

[@AdultwithAutism]

IQ's are pointless. They don't let me know anything I need to of value in a human. Are you good to animals, treat others the way you want to be treated, not rude, disrespectful etc. Are you helpful, caring, not a user, manipulator etc. I could go on! Those matter, not 'I have an IQ higher than Einstein'...even though all they do is say that and contribute nothing! For those that are like that I mean... It was a while ago when I made this, but the good news is I will have dropped more IQ points since, and haven't retested. So no doubt it is rocking a much lower score 👍🏼

[@EpiicxFuziion]

Me either, I’ve drunk heavily for 30 years but am not physically addicted. I’ve been in hospital for a week with no withdrawal symptoms

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hope you're not in for anything serious 👍🏻

[@EpiicxFuziion]

Not really, found a tumor in my arm and had to have it removed. The drugs were good. :P @@AdultwithAutism

[@AdultwithAutism]

At least there was a bonus!

[@EpiicxFuziion]

I’ve had to “dumb myself down” too, with alcohol

[@AdultwithAutism]

It was the only way I could do it at the time. Thankfully I have ways that are less detrimental now.

[@Evanx373]

I was an alcoholic when i was a teenager. I used alcohol because it removed my social anxiety and depression but it quickly became a problem. I now feel no desire to drink any more so i can have a glass or 2 of beer or wine every now and then and be fine. Im not anxious or depressed now. Alcohol definitly made me feel happy and when i was sober i was depressed so i drank all the time to stay happy.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good to hear you got past it 👍🏻

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

There is absolutely a dark side, I started studying hypnosis and reframing which has helped tremendously with how to be more present and perhaps especially for those on the spectrum and related rareness with relating to hoi polloi style of thinking - e.g. above average intelligence.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I agree with you there. We have to stay dialled into the surroundings we belong to and that we are affected by. It is the only way we learn how to navigate. Intelligence isn't the saviour in those situations, situational awareness is.

[@turtleanton6539]

I understand that addiction can be... addicting. But I feel I lucked out not being caught in the trap.😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

Glad you avoided it 👍🏻

[@tom8148]

Hi Paul, would you be able to share the details of the university doing the IQ studies you mentioned?

[@AdultwithAutism]

It was a while ago now so not sure. I want to say it was the McGill University? They had a free enrollment for people to take tests and to interview you afterwards. Don't know if it's still available though.

[@tom8148]

@@AdultwithAutism Thanks very much

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@Retrosenescent]

It's interesting, I had a former partner who is autistic, and he would always misremember everything I said and put words in my mouth that I never said, and he was convinced that I said them, even though I never did. I thought he was a narcissist who was gaslighting me. But you said the same thing here 20:40, and it makes me wonder if maybe there something else going on. Often when we would discuss his memory of what I said, he would use words that mean completely different things from what he claimed I said, and when I would explain to him the definition of words, he would realize that his memory was completely wrong. He would incorrectly summarize what I had said and then remember his incorrect summary as if those were the very words that I said. A mixture of autistic rigid patterns of thinking, difficulty with considering alternatives, and also the autistic verbal processing challenges that result in verbal comprehension issues. We did a lot better when we communicated primarily in text. His memory issues went away when he could see my words in writing

[@AdultwithAutism]

Sometimes we have to think outside the box to find the best way to communicate with each other. Like you say, it worked better in text because you then have evidence of what was said, and when it was said. I have been in similar positions so many times, and being able to recall the text and resend it back to the person to prove it has been useful.

[@hughgrza]

51 autistic and managed to stop drinking 6 months ago, however very hard struggle to keep clean. I believe the hardest thing for Austic people is to live with the feeling of being alone and brain chatter.

[@AdultwithAutism]

We all have something that affects us more than others. The brain chatter I can definitely relate to.

[@monogramadikt5971]

just clicked over 7 weeks sober from a bender that lasted from xmas 2019 until a few months ago, giving sobriety another shot, if it doesnt work out ill probably neck up

[@nekroskum7103]

i drank myself to sleep for a decade, had to slow down because of crohns, but even tonight i have pounded down 4 pints without even blinking. its hard to get out of that for sure

[@AdultwithAutism]

It is hard, until it isn't. But getting to that point isn't fun I will admit 👍🏻

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

I can't handle more than one beer on a good day. When I'm in sensory overload, autistic burnout, I can't handle any alcohol.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Interesting. I was speaking to someone recently who said something similar. And that their hangover can last for up to a week.

[@DEVOTIO33]

The most brutal thing about using alcohol to cope with social anxiety is that it actually works.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Very true 👍🏻

[@PerteTotale]

I don't have to hear more than the half of this. I met mostly Eng + Scot there and at my place, and the fact they cannot drink unless 18 or 21 years old mostly was a demise before my eyes. They dont coop with it. Esp. more than 8% beverages. Mostly the boys fall into the "trap". I got my first glass of wine at 12, in friendly cousy setting. Maybe nowadays it would'v been children abuse, but I'm talking upper middle class. So any substance can be abused or kept in check. Early intro is perhaps a good eyeopener, best in a cosy setting where adults are not binging, just enjoying. And this is not at all autism related. But folks on the spec. should be more aware. Mind also that Europeans are more apdaptationed to alcohol, as former USA native were not. Eur. have more alcohol reducing enz. in their gene pool. But tolerance is another fact. It differs greatly.

[@AdultwithAutism]

It is only upper class in England that generally allow children around 12 to drink wine with them, but I do agree it should be an introduction in a safe setting to attempt to prevent binging or doing it unsafely and hidden.

[@ithacacomments4811]

It's not your IQ score....it what you do with your IQ that makes a difference the world.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I've always found street smarts much more useful than anything else.

[@turtleanton6539]

Truth

[@leejordan001]

I put a like because the counter sayed: 666. :D Thank you for sharing your experiences. It helps a lot! I drink for the same reason. To bring my brain to low working mode and get rid of the noise. But I need confidence too because I have not at all. Fortunately I have neighter problems with alcohol. I drink rarely and don't have to. But when I drink it is because of the above. Keep smileing! Big hug if you like it Brother!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Cheers dude 👍🏻

[@ByeByeBelly]

I have autism and my official IQ done by psychologist where you have to answer questions and use objects etc is 100 haha. I never learned much maths (quit school at 12) and they use maths to judge your recall. My recall is good but can't do much multiplication so I don't answer the maths questions and my IQ is not impressive lol. If you do the official IQ test, your IQ will score higher and higher but you can only do it every 2 years apparently. I get 140 on the online ones 😂

[@AdultwithAutism]

I never hold faith in IQ scores. Just watch the person, if they're eating Tide Pods then I'm pretty sure they have a problem even spelling IQ 👍🏻

[@baldersn4474]

Im curious to know when you were diagnosed and why ?

[@AdultwithAutism]

The second video I did 'Why I Needed to be Diagnosed' goes through that.

[@matshjalmarsson3008]

Not a single thing of what you said that I don't relate to 100%

[@AdultwithAutism]

Crazy lives we live eh! 👍🏻

[@turtleanton6539]

Hope ypur dping good buddy