I Abused My Wife | Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 135 | Season 3

Is there more to the story of abuse than just anger? In tonight's episode of #UnpackedWithRelebogile, I take you through a journey into the often unspoken side of domestic abuse - from the abuser's point of view.
In this final episode of our celebration week for reaching 200K subscribers, I sit down with Collin Sepamatla. He bravely shares his story, shedding light on the complex reasons behind why some men resort to abusing their partners.
We'll explore questions that are rarely asked:
What drives a person to abusive behavior?
Can understanding these deep-seated reasons help in preventing abuse?
How does acknowledging these factors impact the path to change and healing?
This episode promises to be more than just a conversation; it aims to challenge preconceived notions and foster a deeper understanding of a difficult topic.
Join me at 18:00 CAT for an episode that is not only thought-provoking but also crucial in our ongoing effort to address and understand domestic abuse.
Thank you for being part of our journey to 200K subscribers and for engaging in these important discussions. Your support means the world to us.
Remember to like, share, and subscribe for more insightful content.
#Unpacked200K #DomesticAbuseAwareness #BreakTheSilence
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Feel free to suggest the topics that you'd like for us to unpack using our community server in discord: / discord
linkin.bio/unpackedshow

[@kgadiaphane177]

Let us give Relebogile her flowers. She was born for this work

[@nonkosimarcia8714]

💐🌺🌹🌻🌼🌷

[@SouthAfricanSeriess]

Absolutely,She asks right questions

[@SouthAfricanSeriess]

She's smart🏆

[@shirleysiboza441]

💐🌹🥀🌺🌷🌷💮🏵️🌻🌻🌼🍂🍁🍁🍄🌾🌾🌱🍃☘️☘️

[@singovision4980]

She is really good she deserve all the flower☘️🍀☘️🍀☘️🌴🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌹🌷🌹🍁🌹🌷🪸🌹🌷

[@sandra_aquia2413]

It’s so refreshing to see an abusers perspective, because many times they are in denial and not remorseful. But I can see Collin is so self aware , and recognizes his wrong. I see a fully reformed person here. Well done to you bhuti.

[@nthabisengbaloyi5817]

I love how he takes accountability for his actions despite him also being a victim.

[@mahlohonololebuso741]

The level of self-awareness and accountability in this man is remarkable. It's rare to see this in abusers.

[@simplythullyk8171]

But lack of acknowledgement from everyone about his wife abusing him a mo betha in front of friends, no we not having that conversation

[@mahlohonololebuso741]

@@simplythullyk8171 yeah, that is true. The abuse was from both sides.

[@misst1869]

I wish us women could take accountability too. Slapping a man, insulting a man, and breaking things it's also abuse. This man took measures to be better, I wish the woman would do the same

[@nonhlanhlamaphumulo980]

I'm glad you mentioned that.

[@thandekilesambo2775]

exactly!

[@Mbalings]

This man is a victim

[@nonhlanhlamaphumulo980]

@@Mbalings I agree with you

[@temotshoditsebe8419]

Very true

[@vivyfitmom2154]

This lady neh...i like her interview...the time she gives her guests to speak...u are the best ❤❤

[@stonedqueer420]

💯

[@zuzuh5755]

Yes she is .😊

[@sanelisiwendlovu6363]

We love you Collen. Thankyou for taking responsibility for your actions

[@summmmer5041]

11mins in, it’s so refreshing seeing a man taking accountability and responsibility for his actions, and how those actions pushed another person into crazy actions.

[@thatotlhowe]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 when he said majority of women allow abuse thinking things will change😢 yoh

[@summmmer5041]

@@thatotlhowe and we do shame! That’s what we are taught in our African culture to forgive and wait for them to change.

[@lufunomonyaivendaqueen7793]

Be carefull of friends.

[@TraceTheFace62]

I think this is the first time I see a man being honest about being an abuser and recognising the part he played in the breakdown of his family, and not playing victim. Thank you Relebogile.

[@Mbalings]

This man is a victim.

[@xo3535]

​@@Mbalings so your aim is to go to every comment mentioning that ?

[@Mbalings]

@@xo3535 worry about yourself. What I do doesn't concern you in any way or form. ❤️ hapoy new year

[@xo3535]

@@Mbalings seek help

[@Mbalings]

@@xo3535 like I said, worry about your own self.

[@blinkym21]

I hope Collin’s ex-wife has also taken steps to deal with her own traumas otherwise she will carry them into future relationship. Collectively their relationship sounds like it was very toxic and let’s not ignore the fact that physical violence was introduced by the wife earlier in their relationship.

[@SuperFoodParents]

47:02 For men to admit their wrongs is huge and he has gone beyond that to really show it through his actions. Actions weigh more heavily ✊🏼💥

[@uyethembekamoyo5421]

The respect he maintained for his ex wife and mother of his kids is commendable. The accountability and emotional intelligence is exceptional. Despite his mistakes, I have so much respect for him.

[@LENTIify]

Same here, a real man takes accountability and accept his flaws and mistakes Wow well done Mr Collins 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@noxolosakang6547]

World class interview, well done, Relebogile.

[@noluvuyomgwangqa3480]

I applaud you bhuti, for taking accountability in what happened in the past. I plea for us not to judge him as he acknowledges his mistakes and you can hear that he is remorseful of what he did.

[@Mbalings]

There is nothing to judge because he is the victim.

[@lufunomonyaivendaqueen7793]

Friends can destroy you.

[@spikespage9731]

These are the kind of shows Moja Love should be promoting honestly. We never talk about the issue in detail as discussed in this episode and i am praying it goes viral . This is very informative

[@paultumelo7321]

Both parties (Male & Female)must take accountability.Lets not focus on one gender.

[@nobahlemjongozi1127]

Thank you Colin for coming out, we appreciate you as women, we have learnt a lot from your story ❤️ All the best in your life 🤩

[@katlemolatlhegi3225]

I think from the go set the guest has been taking accountability. I think it wasn’t necessary to ask more than 3times on whether he thinks he was wrong or not. I believe Collen was a victim as well and that wasn’t dwelled on equally. This is my view as a woman watching this. Other than that,Unpacked is and will always be such a gem.

[@zanndlazi7942]

Collin you are the Man, you understand that you are wrong that time, you are clear and remorseful, thanks for clarifying that for those stubborn man

[@nkosiphilempofu3798]

I think one thing as a society we over look and don’t talk about enough is the pressure put on men to be men and provide and all and how it affects men…

[@asiveangel4940]

What an insightful interview, he is so accountable. It's commendable.

[@nompumelelombalenhle1627]

A man who can take accountability 👌👌

[@hunadimash1701]

I give you all the respect Collen 👌🏾❤ salute

[@patriciajenkinslong1877]

My show is back 😊

[@beniesmatsetse2202]

Very insightful. ❤❤ kisses to Lebo

[@tsokho_tube]

Salute for the guy to take accountability for his action !

[@augustinekubalo4360]

Good line of questioning from @RelebogileM, like the fact that you seek clarity in the words he uses! 👊👍🔥

[@user-me5ru9td8k]

I love how this guy takes accountability

[@Mbalings]

THIS MAN WAS ABUSED. This man is a victim.

[@MoonlightEnergy-oz8ot]

He is indeed a victim

[@genuinejay7696]

Such an informative conversation 👏

[@drekisastory]

You tackle topics close to my heart and profession in such a safe, delicate and insight manner that to describe you as superlative would be an understatement.

[@ayandabaca7545]

It's so said to hear that some people believe in beating up someone so they can be respected. The woman comes home in the early hours of the morning now you become angry but you did worse things but you never understood when she got angry. What were the friends saying when you either went home late or would be away for the whole weekend with the phone off?

[@nonhlanhlamaphumulo980]

She was also beating him up. Does it mean because it's a woman then it's right?

[@Mbalings]

Nah that woman was abusive first.

[@nonhlanhlamaphumulo980]

@@Mbalings True

[@koketsomahlangu6890]

Thank you Relebogile for this episode and extra thanks for the way you conduct your interviews.

[@lynbath]

Well done bro. You are one in billions

[@jlawrence551]

show i have been waiting for 👌❤❤❤

[@BongumusaMabuza]

Thanks Collen u're the man...uve helped us men a lot cos sometimes we do things without realising the pain we cause...

[@ebonytriumph3816]

This can help others that have been abused and those that abuse🙏. To growth and change🍾 different perspectives!

[@nomthandazomsenga2948]

Well done Collen, its good seeing man being aware and taking accountability

[@mahlaselekole5098]

The story is touching. I do believe we must all stand together in the fight against abuse. Thank you to the gentleman for being humble and sharing his story, it is an eye opener

[@tendaimashingaidze7823]

Wuuu shem sisi Lebo is back and no one called me 😮 anyway let me unpack 3 days later after the episode was uploaded..love and light from your no 1 fan across the borders 🇿🇼🇿🇦🇿🇼♥️

[@nkhesaniphylischauke1334]

Thanks for Sharing your side of Story,I see fully reformed person, well done for taking accountability for your actions that shows that you acknowledge your mistakes

[@KeitumetseVioletShuping-ji1zu]

You're a very good husband, That shows, you're a God fearing man. May all man hear this topic sir♥️♥️♥️

[@Mbalings]

May women stop thinking it's ok to hit men.

[@aneki602]

I have been waiting for your show to return. Much love from Jamaica 🇯🇲

[@temotshoditsebe8419]

The lesson ke gore the minute u see changes that are making you uncomfortable run away that very second 😢😢its painful cus the minute u stay its not gona be easy to go

[@leratomorune4105]

Easier said than that

[@temotshoditsebe8419]

@@leratomorune4105 i understand the problem is always thinking the person will be better or change for us

[@Maria-yp6le]

43:50 A man who is eager to heal❤❤❤❤. God bless him. I wish other men can walk in his steps. Abuse is wrong whether it was done by a man or a woman. Woman must also heal if they abusw others too.

[@zohjiyane6046]

Wow, man telling the truth. I respect him

[@mmagautamagauta4256]

Thank you Sir for telling the truth,and you're free indeed.

[@zuzilezungu5899]

Great conversation 🎉

[@princesstshilidziramabulan7772]

11:20 man is speaking his truth & not blaming anyone 🤞🏾

[@user-zz7pc7no6r]

If you know the truth it will set you Free.am happy for Collen he find himself without asking anyone's opinion ❤

[@user-ey1mh9wp9t]

Thanks for sharing brother 🙏

[@lebogangmaboko3123]

A good storyteller👌

[@emangrabogadi1051]

They both hurt each other- they both became abusive to each other. It could possibly have worked if both took full responsibility, healed & gone for therapy. They were both victims and the ex-wife also needs to recognize the part she played. At the end, they have accepted that they are not compartible and are better off separated but I hope he realizes that he deserves equal empathy from her, for a healthy co-parenting relationship.

[@mlamulimakhula3189]

I also agree, and all those things of breaking the cars also by the madam

[@lifewithtshidiedza381]

U love feeling sorry for men. No wonder lots of women are in abusive relationships He is saying his part If his wife is willing she will say her part too

[@siamisangsia6840]

Well said!!

[@thembekadorcaskhumalo866]

I'm glad I came across this.

[@sparrow62210]

Iam glad that he is taking accountability and in an honest manner.Walking away from the relationship was the best decision, u cannot fix what is broken.

[@conceliamaila8995]

I RESPECT this man

[@rachealmuguku8578]

I love the accountability and remorse

[@sibongilevilakazi4001]

I am living bophelo ba abuse everyday .. my man hurt me so bad one day that police got involved i left our place .. he apologized so much .. i decided to go back.. till today i am still being abused .. i ask myself y i keep doing this to myself .. his family speaks for him .. my family loves him .. i just dont know what to do

[@NormaJileka]

I hope one day you find courage to leave .. you will know when its time and no one can convince you to do anything you’re not ready for.❤❤

[@Blacklist_Entertainment]

You know what to do, bt just not ready to leave, may you believe in urseld and start taking accountability to ue own life .

[@bethhlongwane1808]

One day u will leave him , I'm so sorry nobody deserves to be abused, pray hard , u will grow courage to leave him

[@pm1647]

You leave there inside your coffin. If that doesn't scare you enough I don't know

[@ntsakosambo4912]

May god give u wisdom and courage to do what is best for you now.may you find healing

[@matjieshabangu0706]

A fully reformed person 🫡

[@user-vs2dv2nq1s]

When the trust is broken is not easy to build the relationship again

[@tillykhokhotho2614]

Shuuu Collin really God is forgiving you because you speak the truth and it means you want to change. Friends destroyed your life by the wrong advise yuuu Colling waModimo it's only God Who can guide in a right way because marriage is from God

[@tumisylvestersetloboko]

This is very inspiring to see a man who abused his wife takes accountability on his actions. However it is apparent that the relationship lacked support. Collins behavior was not acceptable in the beginning but the wife's response was syill very wrong. I wish tgey could have opted for therapy to reconstruct their relationship. I am glad that Collin took a stand to raise awareness that very big of him. The most terrible part is when he thought he could apply force when the suppressed and frustrated women tried to work with her frustration her own way. Brother i salute you. Please attend several seminars to help men understand the importance of taking accountability ❤

[@shamisomusiiwa]

Well done Collen

[@TshwaranangSekati]

Thank u Sir❤

[@Thoughtsbyme-ts4jz]

Lesson sprint to the police first time

[@lebogangmncwabe8886]

and leave

[@Winterflowers1]

Easier said than done

[@bojangmekgwe3205]

Now this is an example of a strong man... Any person who is able to admit their faults..that resembles courage.. Thank you for sharing Abuti.

[@lynbath]

You spoke honestly

[@user-ql1ww4qx6y]

U are such a good men to speak the truth

[@FKNnYcE]

I love this host, she is so beautiful and has such a great interview style

[@kagisoletsolo]

He honestly looks like someone who was doing something he didnt know, we learn the hard way but he is not a bad guy,

[@simplythullyk8171]

I have only one problem with this interview. Nobody is interested or highlights the problem with the lady starting the abuse. The woman abused this man even in front of his friends. He was wrong but it did not warrant abuse from his wife.

[@user-rn5hv5ks8c]

She was deppressed, hope you can go through what she went through so that you will understand

[@jordannadonga]

Abuse is not only physical, the woman was emotionally abused by this man in the first place if I understood him right, he mentions how he would go out at night with friends and come home the next morning to find her crying ...so the abuse started with the man , though it wasn't physical

[@GuguNdlovu-tb7jq]

Depression is not an excuse to start abusing anyone. Lets not be hypocrites

[@narratingwithtuwilika]

Yoh, I miss Relebogile so much❤️🇳🇦

[@user-zv9zr9fr2z]

Thank u Collen may God bless you and get married again ❤

[@lebogangofentse2684]

I love this show ma'am please make the women to talk to how the abuse men because there are men who can't defend themselves and then we get women who take advantage to this men who can't defend themselves so please ma'am we as men wanna know how they start to abuse men

[@meridahmwase648]

The root cause of the problem here is greed. He was working& he started hustling illegally to get money, eventually he lost his job and then abuse...

[@boipheto16]

Thank u....🙏 anything u get illegally will become a demon to your life.

[@masentlejiyane6021]

Collen ur a good man

[@beautymanoto7147]

Never heard such honest from a man, they broke up because he could stomach that she was seeing someone else while incarcerated. Man do things and don't want to take the pain when tables turns

[@nonhlanhlamaphumulo980]

I respect him

[@Princek16474]

Collen you are a handsome man Indeed i can see it wasnt you doing all those things. I thank God for healing you. Your time in prison was not a waste. Go out and spread the word

[@nonofotsedi4305]

This was an eye opening interview,..i think the man needs to come back for his fraud shenanigans including his prison das bekhos woow

[@nomsa06]

I agree. We want to hear about the fraud stuff

[@boipheto16]

That is the root cause of all this...

[@edzisanipatriciavhuromu801]

I’m learning a lot

[@MoonlightEnergy-oz8ot]

Me too

[@nthomengmajara8575]

They both abused each other. I hope the wife is just as accountable for her actions and that she is healing so that she doesn't repeat old patterns.

[@loitasngcube8519]

I hope now u are married again Coleen n u will never ever abuse your wife 😊

[@Dklady]

Where is the rest of the unpack stories after this episode?

[@moe_ramz]

Abusers never stop Ai 😶

[@thesunshinefactory3016]

She went back??? Ah he's gonna kill her. They never change.

[@temotshoditsebe8419]

❤

[@noloyisomqikela3932]

I knew there was no way they would last after all that abuse ,man always choose themselves honey, he couldn’t look at her the same way knowing what he did to her n he was not gona releave that life ,he now knows it’s not right n you allowed it he respects you bcoz u the mother of kids n sympathies with you n unfortunately for her the damage is so much more , our mistake is letting it happen in the 1st place ,I don’t care if you don’t work or do or what he has done for you don’t ever make a man think it’s Ohk to do anything you know will affect you negatively or against you principles. Also women don’t be greedy so much that you support hustles that are crime he probably blames that on you too do not bow to Sh*t if his not able to provide n u not willing to stick by end it till you both can.otherwise do it right if you gona stay

[@user-fh9jo4ni8i]

Can I be part of the crew i just to meet the guests😂❤

[@robynbarnett5968]

Friends and marriage don't connect choose one

[@ladye1253]

Hurt people hurt others

[@ARIELLAMITCH]

❤❤❤❤

[@shirldey]

Is this a call for reconciliation?

[@susankambrude4668]

This man has so much pain. I was also abused, but his story brought tears to my eyes.

[@thatotlhowe]

I don't know abuse and I've never been abused but this just makes me so emotional because this man is taking so much accountability to a point of shaking. Indeed he faced his demons on this interview. Yoh Relebogile, hands down ma'am ❤

[@nomsashikishi2917]

U asked him about berilwana he moved to we, and we were fighting once he start accepting that he was laying hand on his wife he will have peace

[@dot510]

The money was not a blessing in the first place cause it was dirty money. Something was bound to happen.

[@Millibabe]

Indeed😂

[@user-rg6kr3si2r]

Yo sengathi ungakhuluma ufundise amanye amadoda.

[@Tsidyannamohapi2381]

Sad story hleng all that glitter is not gold. The guy forgot what he put her through when he had money. Banna!!!😮

[@tebogolesaba9520]

Imagine someone who is not working telling you that you don't have a life Ijoo I would have laughed

[@tshegofatsotlhoaele1530]

Says so much about you🚮