I BROKE myself - but repairs are progressing nicely

[@davidmcquillan4754]

Take care of yourself Ben, you have taken a massive step by identifying and accepting the issues in your life. ❤️

[@thibaultfassler998]

Honestly, if I were near you, and you didn’t find it inappropriate, I would basically be giving you a bear hug, and telling you how grateful I am for your work and your honesty. So just… thank you.

[@TheQuantumzone]

Take each challenge as it comes, enjoy the peace in between. Give yourself time much love

[@christianarvidsson7359]

I broke myself at 27 years of age as a Carpenter im 50 today and still in the trade as my boss. Our brains are damn near copys, i also have to learn new stuff all the time, im now into building my first bass also planning some furniture in walnut. I have done alot in my years sadly my mindset still wants me to be number one, the best in all my projects. You opened my eyes with the adhd angle❤. I love all of your videos and glad that you lift the mental health issues. Hope you feel better everyday. Sorry if my English spelling sucks i am a Swede.

[@neilvoigts5251]

Ben .,just sending love

[@Asshat237]

​@@christianarvidsson7359 hahaha you didn't misspell a single word. I wish most Americans had your spelling and grammar.

[@lukejohnston5566]

Ben, as an amateur luthier with full-time ADHD, I have been consistently inspired by your ability to focus on making world-class instruments whilst also managing business functions at Crimson and Vintage Tool Shop. You're an unspeakably valuable asset to the world of professional and hobbyist luthiers, so making sure you're happy and healthy benefits all of us. And this kind of video helps those of us facing similar struggles more than you know. Thank you for what you do, and I wish you the best!!!

[@danielirvine7468]

It takes balls to open up like this man I’m proud of you .

[@GilesHarveson]

Never mind the bollocks

[@jpmangin]

Thank you for sharing your progress with us. I find it almost sad that you feel you have to justify things to us due to change. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm here because I enjoy what you provide. I don't live in a creators world and can't begin to comprehend what it encompasses. Do what interests you. I'll enjoy whatever ride it is.

[@GavinBuchan77]

You could literally be talking about my life, this kicked me right in the feels. Burnout, relationship collapse, depression, burnout again, undiagnosed ADHD. Glad you’re on the mend ♥️

[@GavinBuchan77]

All of this aside, still no excuse for leather trousers 😂

[@ChrisFranklyn]

@@GavinBuchan77 🤣🤣

[@andyt5559]

yeah! me too!

[@SweetTGuitars]

Check!

[@didgeridooblue]

I can relate. Over 12 years ago I took early retirement, for the first time I was running away from something rather than moving towards a goal. Needless to say, this course happened without much of a plan. I still don't consider myself recovered, and no one seems to notice.

[@rowemo]

You are not alone, I am sure this community can relate. I certainly know I do. We love you.

[@zaphods2ndhead193]

I am about to be 56 and have struggled with ADHD all my life but have never given it much thought or ANY priority. Hearing you talk about your struggles and help is, in fact, inspiring to me. I also self medicate with food, nicotine and caffeine. My life revolved around the last two. I believe you have inspired me to seek help. Thank you for your openness and honestly.

[@robin_marriott]

Thank you for posting this. I’m currently laying in bed when I should have got up a few hours ago to do something which I used to enjoy. I hadn’t realised but a lot of the things you mention at the start really hit home. I’m burnt out. I bought a guitar a few years ago and immediately came to KZbin for videos on them where I found yours, I now realise that the guitar was another in a line of purchases I’ve made for the initial feeling of joy over the purchase, I’ve not played it for probably 18 months but I have stuck with your videos. I realise this video isn’t about me but you posting it has made me look within. I hope you can manage to get on top of the distractions and give yourself more fuel for the fire! Thank you again.

[@billderby1831]

This is a huge reminder of the fact that passion and commitment come with a cost. Take your time to fully recharge. You’re a good man Ben.

[@DavidMFranks]

Ben - how brutally honest. I salute you, sir. I've lurked but never commented before, but have forever been in awe of your ideas and craftsmanship. Look forward to yet more mad instruments in future.

[@CrimsonCustomGuitars]

I appreciate that, thank you.

[@ianthomson9363]

I'm no expert but I thought you seemed to be happiest during the lockdown- building your home workshop and building outlandish but amazing guitars. Going back to the factory (which in itself is a great achievement, going from a bloke in a shed to a factory, school and tool supplier, something you deserve to be proud of) seemed to take some of the sparkle out of things. All the other problems couldn't have helped either. I'm glad you now know the direction you want to go in and what you have planned for the museum, which I will visit one day. Though I've been slightly obsessed with guitars for nearly fifty years now, yours is the only guitar channel I've subscribed to- it's always interesting, always informative, and sometimes crazily innovative. I wish you all the best for the future

[@scottishm4rc]

Big share that. Sounds very much like a work in progress. Aren’t we all. Sending lots of support, as a simple audience member. Take your time, do not commit back too soon.

[@-----...moth......--]

look , we love u dude so what ever you do plz take as much time u need to feel better , we don't know each other but we're here

[@francismurphy2491]

Ben, thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing this. I could see it was not easy for you to film. This was difficult for me to watch at times. I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago at the age of 51, and so much of what you shared I could identify with. So many ideas going on my head, so many things I want to do, and yet many days when I am struggling to just keep my head above water, putting in 200% effort, but getting less than 50% out. During the covid lockdowns your channel was a saving grace for me. My dad who is now 95 year old, and his younger brother are both violin makers, and had given me some of their tools and wood as they are sadly unable to make violins anymore. I had all this stuff and didn't know what to do with it, until I discovered Crimson Guitars channel. I have played guitar since age 9, but it never occurred to me to try and make a guitar. From what I have learned from you Ben, I have now built two electric guitars a Telecaster and a 7 string, have just started work on a multilaminate through neck carved top guitar, made 4 cigar box guitars, undertaken numerous headstock repairs and refurbs. I don't think I would have had the confidence to do any of these things without what I have learned from this channel. So I just wanted to say thank you! Take time to heal, give yourself grace, learn to say no and look after yourself. 🙏

[@TheCatNipGardener]

Ben, you are a total inspiration to everyone who meets you. I was amazed at your approachability when I met you at the Birmingham Guitar Show. Learning how to restart, restore, repair and respond to your own needs is the biggest challenge anyone can make. But you clearly have an amazing team around you. Take your time on every step. Thanks for all you do. The Ginger Drum Tech

[@ryanpettifer7371]

Thanks for sharing this Ben, not enough people talk about things like this. We'll still be here to watch what you do in the future...

[@TitlisBusyKitchen0]

Taking the time to examine one's life is something few people do. It can be frightening and the conclusions can be distressing. Twenty five years ago I came to a terrifying realisation about my own life; every aspect of my life was turned on its head and the next 18 months were incredibly hard. Since the time i have been so much happier compared to the years before. I hope your journey brings you peace and joy xx

[@CrimsonCustomGuitars]

I'll take 18 months of pain if the end result is the same improvement that you saw.. thank you so much!

[@markblance9639]

Take the best care, Ben. You are very influential. Living in a small city in New Zealand I walked into my local guitar shop and asked to talk to their luthier about fret leveling and I referred to you, Ben, and he immediately said "I watch Crimson Guitars too". My very best wishes, Mark (And I shall try to stop sourcing dopamine from a carb rich diet! Thank you!)

[@martin-1965]

Thank you mate for being so honest. I really thought you were living a dream life that I could only be jealous of, as would love to have your skills and knowledge and be able to do everything you do with your hands and brain to make guitars into a joy to play and admire. However, people - to my surprise - think my life is a joy as I found out in the last year, and that my head is fine and as such I get to hear all their problems and they tell me they wish they could do what I do. It just goes to show a) how good we are at putting up a front to the world and even our best friends at times, and b) how even the apparently happiest people, very often are not that simple to define and have inner turmoils. Glad you're on the road to the "sphincter of light" lol. Keep a sense of humour and hopefully you will find the new, improved you at the end. Love your channel and love Crimson and buy a load of your tools. You are doing brill mate but take care of yourself first and foremost 👍👍👍👍

[@commutinginatlanta9163]

Whilst I am heartbroken to learn of your struggles with mental health, I am beyond excited to see you walking positively through the daily battle. I cannot enunciate how sad I am that you have to fight this battle, but you will win and come out stronger on the other side. Much love from me and my family.

[@Joeobrown1]

Huge respect for sharing. I can't imagine the stress of trying to keep so many people happy... Take your time, we'll be back when you are

[@ChrisFranklyn]

It's good to hear an update, for better or worse. My life has been one of getting promoted into jobs I can't cope with, making myself ill, and resigning to start again. I'm going through it at the moment, stepping back from a management role. I'm realising through a group of people where I work it could be ADHD and something I can manage. I need to work out how to get a professional diagnosis though. Hope to see you on the up again.

[@D.Miller]

Refreshing video, love that you posted it, good on you sir. I'm sure many elements relatable for us. I'd so love to hang out with this chap

[@Vilm0r]

Last year I came to your workshop for 2 weeks course after having a burn-out myself and found relief in working with you and your team (Josh, Sean, Mat, Ricky, Sophia...) In that great environment you created. Probably also in inhaling large amount of wood dust. Every situation is different, take care and take the time you need to get better. Cheers from France

[@DJ_Guitars]

As cliche as it may seem, you are the sole reason that I am nearing the finish of my first ever guitar, a scratch build in the ggbo and I’ve loved every second of it! I first saw you at Makers Central in 2018, I’m not a player or even a skilled woodworker, but since then I was hooked, I think I must have watched most of your builds numerous times (mostly the silky oak 🤤) and have learned from every single video! We all love you Ben! ❤

[@TheMrPMullins]

So sorry to hear you’ve been enduring such troubled times Ben, hope the green shuts of rebalance grow swiftly and equilibrium is restored

[@minjiigo]

I still remember how excited you seemed to be on your very first live video: how small the channel was, and that was before a whoooole lotta things. Godspeed mon ami, and when the online school go live, rest assured you got one pupil here. Take your time, and take care of yourself.

[@giovanniyorke7455]

This is still a great channel, you're still a Fantastic Artisian and I hope by God's grace everything goes well with you, your family, staff and plans

[@ukulelegothboy]

I have also been having a similar journey with diet, understanding moods and my health in general. Water seems to be a big key factor. I've found that dehydration, working long hours and self medicating in the wrong ways have greatly contributed to my burn out and me being a proper Asshat to the ppl I care about.. It took a long time for me to face my truths but, funny enough over the last 6 months I've come to see and except that changes have to be made. I say this as to relay to you and everyone here that reads this that, we are together and not alone. I am now a 45 year old male and these topics were not something that was spoken of or acknowledged while I was growing up. It was taught that silent suffering is what makes us strong men and woman however, that was and is not at all helpful or accurate. Honesty with ourselves and in the choices we make are what can make us truly happy and there can be no other way. Thank you so much for sharing, you have helped so many. I feel blessed that we live in an age where these issues have come to light and we have the ability to share and grow through them. You,your craft and your words are greatly appreciated :-)

[@paul23fitz]

Hi Ben, hopefully you can feel the outpouring of love and concern for you on here. We’re all routing for you mate. I e said it before on a few messages, your videos are what got me through the covid years, they were the escapism I needed from all the sh1t that was going on at the time. Realising you have a problem is the first step and seeking help, is the second. It’s a long road but you’ll get there and remember, your health comes first, your videos can wait, unless they’re helping get through things. Take care of yourself!

[@LRBerry]

First, I'd like to say "Happy 1st Anniversary" of The Daily Guitar Draw. When I was diagnosed with depression many years ago thanks to my great GP, it felt as though a massive weight had been taken off me. It's still there and can be bloody awful, but thanks to medication and a very supportive wife and now adult kids I have a lot more good days than I do have bad days. It's great to see you again and how you plan to move forward. While it's highly likely I will never build a guitar, I have got so much enjoyment and pleasure from watching Crimson Guitars videos and for that I have to say a huge, huge thank you. Men and mental health has been kept in the dark for far too long and to hear you being so honest is so refreshing. I know how difficult it can be to tell someone how you feel and be taken seriously having gone through the process with a former employer who never really too me seriously when I was going through some really black times.

[@joea6099]

Massive respect. It takes an immense amount of strength to put this video out. You are on point about burnout and how it comes in many different forms. All the best in your self-healing 👍

[@kevinjackson4237]

Ben you touched my soul with this video. I became a carer for my wife 6 years ago following (admitted) medical malpractice, resulting in her losing the use of limbs and the ability to speak. Throughout this time I too have been fast approaching burnout. Your words and insight have offered me so much hope. Bless you, please keep well, and thank you. x

[@WombleUK]

Very brave video to have posted & you deserve a great deal of respect for this. Hopefully it will help yourself & others & wish all the best with making progress.

[@spenserclarke5956]

Thank you for your openness and honesty. It is rather unfortunate that ONLY after many years, with many problems and struggles, that the root cause is explained...but AFTER your life almost comes to an end, as a consequence of such 'problems'. Only last year was I diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD, and potentially a few others as well. I have also been living with a condition of Hyperinsulineamia for 15 years, which in a lot of ways is harder to handle than diabetes proper...especially when nobody seems to wish to accept it either! Combining 'all of the above', life really does at times seem hardly worth living! Resilience to stress for me has become increasingly more difficult to handle, with each negative event that arises...and I have had almost 10 years of consistent conflicts! Is it any wonder I finally broke after the last 'event' 18 months ago! I have only started to climb of out of the 'hole' this past few months, and Ritalin was the key factor. Keep on keeping on, everyone! 🙂

[@nickjahraus9780]

Ben, one can not show enough appreciation for the lessons, skills and humble nature you have shared in the past. But this half hour of just you sharing an honest thought process of yourself and how you're working towards a better you is truly commendable. Many of us have a facet of ADHD, Autism or other disorders that we deal with daily. It is not always diagnosed or recognized personally and when issues arise we do not always have a path out. Introspection and humility are paramount in pursuing freedom from the hidden chains that either hold us back or in some cases drag us along a winding, slippery curve of a road. You seem to have the bull by the horns here and though at times it will be a twisting battle I do believe that you possess the meddle to forge this newly exposed Ben into the 'Happiest MF'ng Grumps' your future grandkids deserve. I look forward to your adventures in learning new skills because I have learned quite a few tricks from you in the past years from the builds, teardowns and repairs you have shared with us. Oh, do not at anytime give up on the museum, that's legacy capital there. It's a major 'Pay it forward' move and will not only inform but more importantly it will inspire. Again, thank you.

[@Corvid]

I was choked up by the point he said his MD was "no longer with us"... That has a story behind it that I can attest makes things 100x more complex and difficult. I lost my best friend/bandmate to suicide 2 year ago this month, and having experienced burnout once before 5 years ago, I can wholeheartedly say that ALL emotional/mental health stressors co-combine, layer and interact in a fluid way that almost defies anyone to define it on a day by day, week by week basis... you can assemble an accurate picture only perhaps a year plus down the line, and see your lowest points, errors, mistakes and recovery zones. My friend's death exponentially added to starting a new job in a new area right after a really viciously unpleasant breakup, and it led my into a burnout I was lucky to survive. Three life factors that I've got experience in dealing with in almost total isolation (grief, moving house/job, and breakups)... but in combination, they made my life almost impossibly hard. I made the decision to fight through in all the wrong ways, and ended up having to piece my life back together somewhat. I think another overarching factor is ADHD: I personally credit ADHD with being the most significant reason that I'm able to dedicate insane amounts of mental/physical/emotional/other energy into work/hobbies/life. That has led to me achieving things I thought I was never capable of in a million years, like finding my place in two of the blue light emergency services, and becoming a musician competent enough to fulfil my own dreams, but I also have the ability to run myself to the point of self destruction, way beyond what most people would consider sane. Literally to the point of actual insanity. ADHD is, I believe the reason that I've survived seeing things that I can't believe haven't emotionally scarred or destroyed me. It may be the cause of my chronic low level anxiety, that breeds stagnation and procrastination, but if it is, it's also the cause of me feeling truly alive once I've been pushed out of my comfort zone so hard that I'm somehow calm and confident in situations that are extremely hazardous, and totally unpredictable. ADHD may have been the reason I accidentality found my niche in life, but it took decades of developing coping mechanisms to lead a life that could be considered even remotely successful, either by other people's standards, but most critically, my own... and all of those previously unconscious coping mechanisms (which I'm not entirely familiar with even now I know a bit about ADHD) disappear into thin air when my brain is pushed past a certain point. ADHD overwhelm. That point seems to be very hard to reach generally, but three stressors at once made even doing a simple driving job almost an impossible task. Constant performance issues/lateness at work. Dreading getting out of bed every day. Not eating. Drinking more than I was comfortable with. Unhealthy and unmonitored self medication with nicotine and caffeine. It's so clear now looking back, and I'm learning how to deal with my brain, but man.... ADHD complicates things.

[@dsilvafb]

Long time follower here… Thanks for sharing, man!! Iv been recently diagnosed with ADHD (38yo) and hearing your “testimonial” helped me to understand a bit more a out the process. Cheers!

[@trapper464]

All the very best to you Ben Very brave of you to share your story with us.

[@EricChesek]

Love you, Ben. This self reflection and honesty with yourself is refreshing to see. Inspiring.

[@stevejacques9359]

I've followed you for a long while now and didn't realise this was why you had gone quiet. You are very brave for sharing this but I'm sure your inspiration working through this will help many others. I will eagerly wait for your next guitar building/repairing video. Stay strong and sincere love to you.

[@Mr_CB]

It's great to hear that you are on the way back up and you are taking control of your physical and mental health. I'm looking forward to following along as you take the channel in a new direction. Above all else, please take care of yourself and those closest to you.

[@stefanlategan2546]

Hallo Ben, Ek het myself herinner aan die eerste keer toe ek op jou video's afgekom het, wat soos 'n leeftyd gelede voel. Jou inhoud was 'n konstante bron van vreugde, en ek het nog altyd jou talent bewonder. Jou afwesigheid word gevoel, maar weet asseblief dat ons, jou gehoor, geduldig wag vir jou terugkeer, net soos jy daar was vir ons oor die jare. Ek sien gretig uit na die dag wanneer jy terug is, skitterend as jou beste self. Jou video's het vir baie lewens geluk gebring, insluitend myne, en ek is seker dat jou terugkeer nog meer glimlagte en inspirasie sal bring. Pas op en sien uit daarna om jou weer in aksie te sien! Groete, Stefan van Australia

[@kennethluebberke8216]

It's wonderful to hear that you are finding your coping mechanisms. I am extremely happy to see that you have taken the steps to seek help. This will be an exciting time for you, Ben, but not all excitement is what you would expect. One day at a time, my friend!

[@danielswine536]

hey Ben, thanks for talking so openly about mental health. It's a F'king hard thinh to do. I am a type 1 diabetic from an early age and also ADHD. I didn't know about the marrige break down till O watched this, sorry to hear that bro. I met a dude who did the month course at Crimson (lead guitar in a support band at a gig and I recognised the guitar from your vids) and he said you and the crimson guys are awesome. From the bottom of my heart I really thank you for talking about this. I have struggled with depression all my adult life and always tried to hide it. Opening up and talking about it like you did in this vid is great and has potentially saved some people from going over the edge. Well done mate, it's the hardest thing to do to admit weakness as a man. All the best to you and the kids mate, and thanks for this vid, it may save lives. Hope to meet ya one day. X

[@byal9000]

Hey Ben, I just found your videos a couple of weeks ago. I've been a woodworker for a long time, but recently got into playing bass and am in the process making my own. Your videos have been invaluable. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate all the work you've put in. I've also got ADHD, and wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late 20s, a little over a decade ago. Figuring that out and addressing it was one of the most important things I've done in my life. You've got this, and you'll come out the other side better than ever.

[@mineown1861]

Having lived with chronic depression since my teens , had many breakdowns, burnouts, and too many stays in psychiatric care , I can agree that talking about mental health is not the taboo that it once was . Before , you could tell someone you had cancer and they'd happily talk to you about it , but say you had depression and they'd say oh... It's great at the peaks , when you can do ten things at once all day long. Ultimately though you become too involved to spot the precipice approaching , until it's too late to grab onto anything , and then you're in free fall . But now you're here , and you're talking about it , so though you may not be out of the trough, you are climbing , which is enough for now . Having made that journey many times , I sincerely wish you a safe passage back into the light. Just put as much dedication into self repairs as you do into your work, and all will be well again.

[@subVersionband]

Quality over quantity - you always provide such high quality content. You cant pour from an empty cup and theres absolutely no shame in needing a break or having to shift focus. Youre an incredibly talented luthier, seem like a very nice guy and deserve the life youve worked so hard to achieve. You owe no-one an explanation. Rest up. Take care and come back stronger for it - from a fellow adhder who cannot stand boredom 🤘

[@theverseshed]

Wonderfully honest. I recognised, in myself, a lot of the issues and behaviours that Ben talks about so openly. Thanks for taking the time to open up and all best wishes for the future.

[@OtherArtPeter]

I’m 28 years old, just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years and have been diagnosed with ADHD in the past 2 weeks, this had me absolutely balling crying and filled with hope at the same time. I don’t think I’ve had as much time to grieve as you have Ben but you’re inspiring me to pursue what’s important in my life. Thanks Ben, long time viewer.

[@D4veJap4n]

Bro, look after yourself man. You’re not alone mate.

[@captchaen]

Hey Brother! You so have my empathy on this. We all seem to hurtle through life clueless as to what's happening in our own psyches. Until, of course, we run full-throttle off the edge. it's only then that we really assess our own existence and begin to see the flat tires and leaking fluids and worn brakes that plague our mental vehicle. I'm experiencing much of what you are going through. I've spent a lifetime doing anything but the thing I was meant to do, which is music. I allowed others to poke holes in my drives and ambitions since i was a kid. At 60 years old I crashed and burned. But' I've risen from the ashes only because of my desire to make music that heals and nourishes my soul. I'll probably never have fame or notoriety, however, I will be doing the thing that makes me ...me. Good luck on your continued journey.

[@hereasafanofallsorts5164]

I recently visited the Workshop/Factory in Dorchester and I was blown away by the fact that you have built all that in the short time that you have - and I think anyone would be - it's an unbelievable achievement . I can only imagine the amount of stress, blood, sweat and tears involved in the day to day. Take a bow man you're an incredible human. Not very many people could do what you've done.

[@4thAvenueGuitars]

100% relate here. It's hard when the thing you enjoy doing so much it becomes a form of therapy morphs into at best a source of apathy and at worst a direct route to irritation and annoyance. I ended up in much the same place not long after we last chatted in Birmingham. You've done a huge amount for the world of guitar building with the youtube channel alone, from encouraging people to just give it a go, to pushing builders to develop their skills and ideas and above all else challenge themselves. The early shed videos are largely responsible for my own realisation that it was actually possible to build something bearing my own name that someone else might want. This as you may remember led me down a career path I would never have thought possible without seeing someone with a similar creative streak, need to constantly learn and develop new skills and a desire to just make stuff. It's easy to forget when you're doing something you love, that an up always has a down and even the things you enjoy can become stale and a chore given enough setbacks. I'm glad to see you've managed to stop and evaluate what's important to you (as always I'm playing catch up to you on that too😂), hopefully you're on your way back out of the rut and ready to inspire more people. Keep looking after yourself. I look forward to our next chat when we're hopefully both in a better place.

[@Samulisami]

I learned so much from you Ben. Thank you! Sending you good vibes

[@gregoryh4601]

Dear Ben. So happy for you finding out your Health problems and slow Down and Smelling the Roses. You are right we live in a very Fast pace World. Ben good luck and keep your Dream alive. Ben I miss the Work Bench for Did because you shared so much Love and ideas with the Students, but only you know what you Need. Take Care be Safe and Peace be With You and family

[@thedizzydj6623]

I've lived with ADHD my entire life, only learned I had it at the age of 37. I congratulate you on your self discovery, it's not easy to learn something about yourself yet at the same time it's also validating. It explains why you do what you do, and that the solutions are within reach. Welcome to a whole new world, and welcome to the family. You got this!

[@grischad20]

I heavily suspect that i have adhd. I however hate the idea of being bound to meds for the rest of my life. Would you advise me to still try and get diagnosed?

[@thedizzydj6623]

@@grischad20 IMHO, getting diagnosed was half the battle for me. It confirmed what I suspected and validated so much. I now had a reason for why I did what I did. It removed a ton of the shame I had been carrying around. As far as meds go, I can only speak for myself and I am in no position to make any suggestions for you. It is well worth the effort to discuss your situation with a professional and to explore all your options. Having a diagnosis for ADHD isn't a negative in any way, it's the first step in a new and positive direction. I'm in recovery so, like you, I didn't like the idea of taking meds for the rest of my life, however, I am not "bound" to these meds, I take them as needed, and have no ill effects if I don't. Although my distraction level is back to where it was and I have learned how recognize it and adjust. My apologies for rambling a bit, but I know the joy and happiness that can happen when ADHD has been put under control and how much better life is and I strongly feel that we all deserve the happiness and freedom we lived to long without.

[@MaxSalada]

Thank you Ben, I'm glad the end of the tunnel is in sight. I'm going through a similar crisis myself and this video made me think about changes i can also make. All the best!

[@cheapskate8656]

I'm 58 and found out a few years ago that I have ADHD also, although I'm really ADD. Fortunately for me the coping strategies I had developed were not harmful. I'm sure things will improve for you once you work out what you can and can not do. Sending kind wishes to you and your family.

[@scot-combs]

I'm 65 and just this past year recognized my ADHD. I'm very grateful times have changed with respect to mental health. My Dr. and I have worked together and things are much better now.

[@DrBsGuitars]

It is great to hear from you. It’s also great that you are healing. I really enjoy your videos and actually mention Crimson Guitars on my channel because it is a great channel to watch and learn. Take care and heal. We want to see more from you.

[@MrFengen]

Mental health is important, and sadly still quite a taboo for a lot of people to talk about - or even express. Living with a mental health issue isn't easy. Depression suck the life out of you. I wish you all the best.

[@paulneeds]

Ah yes, my old acquaintance, the black dog, who sucks the life and confidence out of you…

[@jayman5384]

Sorry to hear this Ben and you’re not alone. We all keep watching because we enjoy hanging out with you and learning. Thanks for letting us know.

[@MyRocknroll23]

Hi Ben, I want to say how much you have inspired me over the years and the huge amount I respect you for all the work you've done through your business and now to share something so personal in your life with us. I was, that 15 year old watching your videos. You gave me the feeling that I could make it my career, and 13 years later I have my own business. I wish you nothing but the best and am excited to see what's coming around the corner ! big love, Matt

[@CrimsonCustomGuitars]

Wow, thank you! That means a lot to me.

[@rowbags3017]

Thank you Ben. I suffered a breakdown earlier this year and I appreciate your being so open about the topic. I'm so glad you're seeing a way forward and I wish you all the best for the future.

[@karaokeitaliano]

Being following you for several years. I've always admired your craft and content, it's a good thing you could put a finger on the issue and started the recovery process. Sometimes we just need a nice refret and setup.

[@billherbert4961]

The black dog hit me hard, and still does, 7 years ago. And I picked up my guitars and stumbled upon Crimson Guitars then as well. Since then I have got into luthery and wood working. I am just an amateur, that's fine, but I am very pleased with my work. Some great playing guitars brought back from the dead. Some radically altered guitars. They all play well and sound good. Now I have too many...and that is possible in a small house with a family. My son is probably the biggest winner in this. He's on his way to playing very well. Anyway, this is a Thank You. Good luck in next steps. Just accept the lows...makes it easier to get past them. Lows don't mean recovering is failing. Last bit: don't abuse the meds and expect that they will likely become less effective. That's okay too, just let them help for a while IF they prove less beneficial over time.

[@IlyaLavrovsky]

Ben, hearing you, I recognize myself. Thank you for sharing this. You brought many things up that I need to rethink for myself now. You're a fantastic person, and you inspire so many people. Sending you a friendly, solid hug. Looking forward to seeing your new projects.

[@elforg]

Was diagnosed this summer, and it has helped me come to terms wit lots of things. I have tried to get answers for why I have been like the way I am since I was a kid, and finally, when Im 41 I now now why I am as I am

[@charlesgarber5911]

So, I came into your channel while recuperating from an injury (I broke my left wrist/ankle)) during the Covid lockdowns of 2020, and I'm entirely grateful for the work you've put into the channel and your candidness as you go through this. As someone who was diagnosed as having ADHD, PTSD & OCD, it was something of a shock to me to have all that thrust into my awareness as well. After having to explain it to all of my family (SOO much fun there) and having my ex-fiancee of 5 years do the "I told you so" when they found out through shared acquaintances, it's definitely been a bit of a struggle, but one that has helped me get to a much better place. Much love Ben & I'll keep you in my prayers my friend...

[@roderickalan]

Dude, sending a ton of love. I've also been diagnosed with ADHD and food has been the route I'd taken to self medicate. I'm now also type 2 diabetic but taking steps to undo it all. Nearly 3 stone down and going. This is such a hard part of the journey. Especially with a food addiction. If you're shooting up drugs, people raise an alarm. Smashing a large meat feast pizza? Totally ignored. Got nothing but love for you man. Been following your videos for an age now and loved them all. Be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. Know we're here, routing for you. You can't make the world fit your needs but you can make your world fit you. Go kick some ass dude!! 🤟

[@sergiopedro4668]

I am glad you recognized the problem and that you prioritized taking care of yourself. Thank you for the candor and well soon!

[@stevesorrell9835]

Please be well, and and only come back, when you're ready. Your inspiration and your mentoring, have helped me, immeasurably! You sir, are loved.

[@UrbanSkyProject]

Respect for you sharing this Ben. I myself am going through some issues, I cannot focus on things, lack of genuine enjoyment and irritability. It is good to step back and review what's going on.

[@thomasbreene893]

Cheers, Ben. This meant a lot to me. It's extremely generous for you to share this with your fans, myself included. In the final analysis, you are a gifted artist and luthier. I don't know what the hell drove you to become that, what effort or desire. But that's what you are now. And history is absolutely full of magnificent artists who did not have the chance or social conditions or courage - whatever - to attempt what you are attempting now. So keep fighting, please, and keep trying to construct a life that allows you to continue what you've already accomplished! We've got way too many stories of this or that truly great artist flaming out, way too early, because "such is the life of an artist." Bull! You can have both, and it's super encouraging and instructive for aspirants like me to see you working through issues like this! Your work is astonishingly beautiful and accomplished. Find your spot and keep doing that! I don't care if it means scaling back, or course-correcting the path of your enterprise. Do it for yourself first, because in that respect you're also doing it for people like me!

[@bobtrussell2865]

Best video I've seen in a long time. Thanks for sharing more of your story.

[@michaelfern945]

Thanks Ben for your honesty and vulnerability. Much appreciated. Sending warm regards.

[@RhysP65]

I've completely broken down a few times in my life. The last & most severe episode was about eight years ago, just before my 51st birthday. It was during treatment & recovery from this that I was diagnosed as autistic. I had struggled with life for 50 years without knowing why. Being diagnosed in itself did not make anything easier, but what it has done is enable me to plan & structure my life in a far more suitable & "kinder" way than I had before. I've watched your videos over the last few years & have often wondered if you too are autistic or neurodivergent in some way & it indeed seems that you are. A lot of what you said about yourself & your mindset in this video really resonated with me & I felt I could really understand where you are at this point in your life. It would be very interesting to talk to you about this in person, but as that is highly unlikely to ever happen all I can do is wish you well & hope you continue to repair yourself.

[@rbattistin]

I hope everything gets back on track. Just take care of yourself and remember you have a lot to be proud of. You inspire a ton of people. Thanks for everything! We will be here with you!

[@TomFule]

Ben, thank you so much for this video. Too many people go through similar issues but lock it up inside. I've watched and been inspired by your build videos over the years and am really excited to see what comes along from you in the future. Whatever it is I'm sure it will still entrall us just as much as you 'big builds' did. However, make sure that you are keeping one eye on your health and well being. I'm sure everyone on this side of the camera will understand. P.S. Thank the boys who run the daily guitar draw, I (using my real name account) won the Eric Clapton Sigature Strat this week. I'm so looking forward to it arriving. I know some of the monies raised through that organisation gor towards the Dorset Guitar Museum, one of your exciting projects you told us about on this video. All the best, thank you and take care. Keith

[@ACI-Guitars]

Hey man. I just saw this. I’m all these things: T2d, ADD, guitar builder, dad, divorced, anxiety, depression. It’s brave to be this open and honest. We’re out here. Lots of us. Creativity and all these things you’re beating yourself up for are connected. Be kind to yourself.

[@danwat8996]

Hey Ben, Crismon has been a constant in my life for a number of years and equipped me to do all my own repairs and setups. It is inspiring to see how you have responded to adversity and adjusted your life course in a way that will allow you to fully be yourself in a more sustainable way. It is great to see you applying your creativity and passion to your most important creation.. Yourself!

[@claudevieaul1465]

Ben, thanks so much for your honesty about this - I really do hope things will turn for the better for you! There's no easy fix when you're mentally run down. Even stepping back, like you did, is only a breather but it will not suffice longer term, plus you're still mentally 'involved'. There's a worrying tendency at the mo, where there's so many people struggling with mental issues (perhaps indeed brought to the fore by Covid) while at the same time no medical capacity is available to provide help / support... I'm seeing this all around me in the Netherlands as well: immense waiting lists for psychiatrists / psychologists (due to a massive shortage + bad pay), but there's plenty of coaches! And while they might mean well, they simply do *not* have the training nor the experience to really provide help above the level of handing over usual box of tissues to have a cry & blow your nose in. But it doesn't mean there aren't any good therapists out there, anymore. I've been struggling with mental issues & I've been seeking help since 2004, and finally got a diagnosis december 2022 (!) that said: ADD and Autism (level 2). Thát was a really long time to wait, and it hasn't meant anything yet - called an appropriate therapist in january 2023, and heard that the earliest opportunity for an appointment (intake) is april 2024 - and I'm typing this november 2023. But I'll be buggered if I give in :) As a friendly, and seriously sympathetic to your struggle, suggestion: find joy in anything you like - be it your family, building / restoring guitars, and/or something you've never tried before... I'm a live & studio musician, and that gives me great comfort. But I'm also doing something I haven't since I was young: making my own boomerangs! Designing and making them means hands-on work (as a professional technical engineer I miss that physical aspect), and you'll have something to throw away to your heart's content - which, if done right, comes right back to you! If thát isn't therapeutic, I don't know what is :) I wish you and yours all the very best in turning things around for the better. Never give in to that black dog (as Churchill called his struggle)! 🙏

[@neilb9823]

I've been in the same position Ben. It does get better, only time will help. I turned my life into a linear one, tackling one problem at a time thus gaining small victories. All the best.

[@ShadowFoam]

Just caught this video Ben and wanted to let you know I’m always a phone call away if you ever want a listening ear mate! Hope you’re doing better and so happy to hear you’re on the path to happiness once more, can totally empathise with that overwhelming feeling you were talking about here! Stay safe, take care of yourself and reach out if you need anything mate 👍

[@JohnDoe-ln6xj]

I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I don't have a fraction of what you have on your plate and have suffered major burnout! Part of my recovery has been waking up on Saturday mornings and watching your guitar building videos. I'm so amazed by your creativity and your sense of humour! Know that you are helping so many people!! From your many thousands of fans out there, take care of yourself!

[@Hateweek1984]

Ben i "feel" you brother...so much this video brought me to tears..we have the same 'issues' and repairs needed... thank you for sharing and brother all the best in your journey to "repair" yourself! Cheers mate and god bless you sir!

[@DevilAndSons]

Wishing you the best Ben. This sounds like a great way forward, and I'm looking forward to see that new Sh!t you are super excited about, when the time is right. Take care

[@steelfan3657]

Ben, I'm Glad you are finding your way and making the changes to recover. Your talk here opened my eyes some things in my own life. Take care sir and get well.

[@vince8081]

We love you Ben, you bring lot of joy since years now. It's our time to give some love to you, you deserve it.

[@markinthemix6055]

I’ve always appreciated you and the channel. There’s details and builds l like better than others but YOU as a person l have kept coming back to watch. Blessings to you and your family.

[@johnwates8095]

Welcome to the club I started adhd treatment at the age of 73 every body else including my family knew I had it apart from me.i to have burnt myself out in the past with my own business in the jewellery manufacturing trade .I thought that working 48 hours without a break meant you were successful. Luckily you have seen the light early enough to get on and rebuild yourself.well done for opening up I found that once I admitted to others that I'm not infallible and I can get hurt it made a big difference.the best thing that always helped me was my love of music especially guitars .at least now with adhd treatment I will probably finish some of the guitar projects I started.one of the best things I have found is that now when I don't do something it's because I don't want to not because I can't. Keep up the good work remember we're all in the same boat just let someone else have a go at rowing .can't wait to see the museum .John wates

[@CrimsonCustomGuitars]

Thank you for sharing your story John. I appreciate this.

[@Crocodile_Guitars]

Thank you for sharing with us Ben. From the bottom of my heart i wish the best. Take care of Yourself and your Family. I have learned so much from you and the only reason I am building guitars is YOU. You are trully an inspiration for all of us . Thank you again

[@jamesbisho958]

Best wishes on your future plan. Taking care of yourself is job number one. Be well Ben.

[@germanlopez8719]

Thank you Ben for share this with us, I´ve been waching your videos with my childrens for a long time. We call you "The Wonderfull Crazy One". Just go step by step and you are going to be fine. All our support and love from Madrid.

[@joelosacco]

So glad to hear you are on the mend. We love seeing you and learning from you Ben. Best to you and good luck moving forward.

[@jeroenderksen9852]

Big hugs Ben, we love you. The love of guitar will allways be with you ❤🤟

[@AngelicusImmortus]

Acknowledging it, and more importantly, finding it in yourself to speak out about it is Massive! Take care of yourself, know you are loved.

[@marekdurica1840]

Ben, thank you for sharing your insights. You keep mentioning throughout the videos how much you love learning. I know right now it is intense and not easy but your love for learning is trying to redirect your focus inside. To go within. To learn about your feelings and the ways you use to distract yourself from being fully present with your thoughts and feelings. To pay attention to what is here and now within you, not just endless ideas and the plans. It needs a structure, it needs discernment. You know enough about the stuff on the outside and you have so much to share with the world but learning about yourself is the single most important job we will all have to start doing sooner or later. Your story greatly resonates with me, also the inability to focus which we call ADHD. Take care of your heart Ben, you are most important, you have all of the amazing ideas and you have them for a reason, they just may need to wait a little. I am writing this paying very close attention to it because it might very well be what I need to hear myself. Love to you Ben And one more thing that has crossed my mind. I remember in one of your older videos you said something like this: "I only play the guitar when I build one"......Maybe this is also a good opportunity to create space to enjoy your creations as a player. To give rest to the body from the physical work

[@robinjones6692]

Congratulations for speaking out and telling us about the problems that were building up inside you, Ben. You're an inspiration to us all. Also, your future plans you shared with us sound really interesting, so good luck with them. Keep getting well Ben. You're needed!

[@mikeh5150]

I hear you. Been there myself, and I'm on my way back. All the best from Canada!