I Cancelled Thanksgiving Due To Parents' Disgusting Behaviour r/Relationships

[@Ospyro3em]

The worst part of this is the fact they said it in front of the kids, and are so oblivious as to why that's wrong. They were given many opportunities to rectify at least that part, yet they doubled down each time.

[@katrinschirmer8018]

yeah. kids are little sponges, they are going to hold onto what was said for a long time, OP definitely did the right thing in minimizing contact with them.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

i don't get this sort of grandparents, my hubbys parents are stepgrandparents they have 5 bio grandchildren and 2 (mine) not bio. If you see them with the grandchildren no-one could ever tell mine wheren't biograndchildren they make no difference between al the kids. And i love them so dearly for it.

[@kbf9644]

“I know he won’t cheat anymore.” Nobody knows that.

[@99stranger99]

This ! He cheated once, the second time will be easier.

[@lilywong9672]

@@99stranger99 People can change. The husband is clearly remorseful. He confessed right away, gave her the space she needed, let her moved on, etc. Stop being a negative Nancy.

[@randomusername3873]

@@lilywong9672 and next time he won't confess I guess

[@Ale33810]

We should throw cheaters down of the cliff. I mean on reddit and comments section people apparently believe that a cheater are the most disgusting creature, everybody are happy if their lives are completly ruined. Why don't just kill them so? I never cheated but I get cheated amd that's because we were not happy in that relationship. Actually his cheating give me the right push to end it. We became friends later. Human beings are way more complicated that you would think. We can do very shitty things, but we can also improve ourselves. We can be batter. Second chances exist for that.

[@kbf9644]

@@Ale33810 Hi. Your comment has nothing to do with my comment so I have no idea why you dove off the deep end but here we are. OP said “ I know he won’t cheater.” I said, correctly, that nobody “knows” that. Nobody in any relationship ever “knows” that. It’s faith, not a known fact.

[@chamomileandcosmos471]

It's always sad when peoples hill to die on is refusing to see adopted family as family. I see it as more the merrier. More people to break bread with, more kiddos to see grow up. Build bigger dining tables, not walls. OP is the opposite of an asshole for prioritizing her kids without hesitation.

[@cayo2031]

What u say is correct but also they are not obliged to see the adopted kids as their grandkids, some people value different things not everyone as to think the same

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@cayo2031 then don't get them to call you nana and pop ffs. Your values clearly cause you be an asshole and neglectful of the truth. They may not be obligated but they damn well are dead weight grandparents.

[@tylerpatrick3511]

@@cayo2031 true but OP isnt obligated to see them as family in return. It also doesnt make them any less cruel for how they said it. It also doesnt make them any less of an asshole for saying jt in the first place

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@cayo2031 they are obligated when they had been seeing and treating said children as grandchildren from the word jump...

[@irisolivas2199]

Those “grandparents” are cruel. Even if they never consider these kids their grandkids, they couldn’t have the decency to keep that to themselves and not break their hearts so cruelly?

[@addicted2mako]

"My mom texted saying that she and my dad love the kids, but they still aren't their grandchildren." And there's the giveaway: adding the word "but" pretty much negated whatever loving sentiment the mother was going for in the first part of the sentence. NTA, and good on you and your wife for protecting your kids from that "DNA=family" bullshit!

[@dcg590]

Wrong. The grandparents aren’t required to feel in any kind of way. If their simp son married a chick with some other man’s kids that’s on him. The grandparents don’t have to do anything. Shouldn’t have said it in front of them though.

[@starbird3939]

@@dcg590 How to tell someone hasn’t read the story… Calls OP “him” when SHE has stated her wife is attracted to women.

[@cayo2031]

@@starbird3939 @darling facts still stands tho the grandparents are not required to act like they are grandparents to the kids, they didn’t adopt the stupid kids

[@randomusername3873]

@@dcg590 the grandparents are required to not tell the children to see them as grandparents and then change idea. What is wrong with you people?

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@cayo2031 oh f×ck off you absolute pos. How the f×ck are you this sh×tty seriously? The kids aren't the stupid ones but those "grandparents" and you definitely are the morons. The ops dead weight parents are grandparents whether they like it or not and they really should be discarded for being so cruel to those grandkids.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: this story brought tears to my eyes because I can’t imagine hurting children. For someone to be given a child’s unconditional love as a grandparent and then turn around and dump it is unfathomable to me.

[@randomusername3873]

"I know he won't cheat again" Pretty sure she would have said the same before the first one😂, good luck with that I guess

[@capsizemoonz2251]

Takes one to know one aye?

[@bluexwings]

Something that concerns me about OP 2 is that she didn't bring up the consequences of a second break up/divorce on their children. I really hope they all get counseling and things go well.

[@JasperCatProductions]

I can’t imagine breaking a child’s heart, I would go no contact with my parents if they treated my kids like that.

[@mogulmade]

I remember Story 2. Op jumped the gun on this. They definitely needed to go to counseling BEFORE moving so quickly. The Story was a mess of "plans" for after getting back together but no work beforehand to make sure they weren't making another mistake. Based on the daughter's reaction, I think op is letting sex and the Desperation for a new baby cloud her judgement.

[@theincrediblehunk2668]

You call 10 years "jumping the gun"? I mean the story makes it seem like it went by really quick, but I think she has had enough time to see if she trust him again.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@keplersdream901 so what garbage can did you crawl your way out of this time Oscar the grouch. So dumb your comment is. It's as if ou didn't listen to it or read it at all.

[@HealthyObbsession]

@@theincrediblehunk2668 I think Op and her on again off again ex should have talked with the children before making this decision Op is only thinking about how her life will get better He's the best sex she ever had she wants another baby which she would have been happy to have with her other ex had he not decided he didn't want a kid Op doesn't actually think about how her children will be affected she clearly doesn't talk to them given that she isn't even sure if her oldest got what they needed from counseling She's wearing rose-tinted glasses I'm betting the first divorce wasn't as amicable as OP wants to make herself believe that it was The daughter saying the bit about the fights makes me that's there's more than Op is giving us Family counseling should have been going on before they ever even thought about moving in and being a couple I get that Op is human she has needs but those needs DO NOT take precedence over her children Once she and her first ex had kids they have a responsibility toward those kids She's also showing that if someone cheats on you it's ok if they're really sorry Even if he is honestly sorry they should have talked with their oldest at least But all Op cares about is getting laid and making another child for her to put only show concern for after she makes life-changing decisions without making sure her children are ok She might be a good mom IRL but from what she's given us here She comes off as someone who likes the idea of being a mom but doesn't actually want the responsibility She only considers getting her kids to help after the fact she wants someone else to fix her mess but only if it means she doesn't have to deal with the Consequences

[@samuraibear5102]

@@HealthyObbsession I think your over thinking this

[@HealthyObbsession]

@@samuraibear5102 force of habit from being raise by a mother and father that cared more about getting laid and being in a relationship than they did about the children they created

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #1: OP is definitely not the idiot but her parents are. As a child of adoption I wish I could give OP a big hug, thank her for being the amazing Momma she is by standing up for her kids and congratulate her for helping to make such a wonderful family with her wife and their kiddos.

[@drea4195]

Story 2: OP's thinking only about herself and how this relationship affects HER. That would be fine if kids weren't involved, but wait! There's more. And she did this to her kids TWICE already. No attempt at counseling before moving him back in? OP's in her thirties and it doesn't sound like she's mature enough for marriage. So sad.

[@joycec8]

Story 2 OP be like: 5 years later, wondering where she went wrong when his ass does it again.

[@wrgirlie86]

I got all sorts of emotional when I heard about the step grandma (commenter) buying the adult step grandkid coloring books, that's some grade A good person

[@ladidaohoh3168]

Story 1. I could excuse Grandma and Grandpa in the 1st story, had they not made the reason for having Thanksgiving together not to ruin their “1st grandchild’s” thanksgiving. That kind of makes me speculate there will be noticeable favouritism going forward, if I were OP, I would sit my parents down to let them know that would not be allowed from me, and let the grandparents decide how things proceed going forward. I would tell them I understood their excitement about the 1st grandchild they would know from day one, but they would have to be careful not to make my children feel like they were second best, and if they agreed I’d let it go as just a mistake made while they weren’t thinking straight, but would keep my word if I felt my children were feeling second best or unwanted.

[@ladyv5655]

The OP's parents sound like the kind of people who would write to Dear Abby and moan about how their "ungrateful" children and grandchildren don't want to see them.

[@timtompkins8774]

I will never understand how people think adopted kids/step kids are not part of the family.

[@desireeloveros1055]

As a (former) step kid and a bio kid Both sets of grandparents treated me like a rent a grandkid Sometimes even bio family won't treat you like part of the family Which is really ironic for my bio family considering the scapegoat was the only one who had kids but that's probably why they treated us so poorly

[@peteranon8455]

As someone who dated a single mom for 4 years, I completely understand it. If you wait too long, the grandparents are pushed away by the fact that it's "only a girlfriend" and if you don't they'll be pushed away by the fact that "you're just going to divorce because you rushed into it."

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@desireeloveros1055 I completely understand. I was the rent-a-kid/black sheep in my family.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@peteranon8455 except these grandparents took the role of grandparents, gave themselves a grandparent name, and treated the children like their grandchildren from the get-go until they had a biological grandchild.

[@desireeloveros1055]

@@shadowkissed2370 My sibling and I were the ONLY grandkids on my bio family's side. We did grandma's house every weekend We spent so much of our childhood over there I stayed there when my mom got back with her ex so my school year wouldn't be interrupted by switching so close to the end of year. They told me Santa wasn't real They wouldn't listen to me so I stopped talking to them Then they get mad about that I haven't been to their holidays since I was 20 They played favorites with their children and grandchildren They favored my brother because "finally a boy after 2 generations of girls" After the divorce they favored me because they had more of a "claim" on me than my brother because I only had that side of the family But once I reached my teens I realized what they're doing and distanced myself from them. They're on very low contact. When my grandfather died o played the good grieving granddaughter for my mother because she needed the support when the family treated us like strangers. I can't even call them my family.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

I’d straight up say “if MY KIDS aren’t your grandchildren then I guess YOU aren’t my parents.”

[@princessserena1035]

story 1: the grandparents absolutely do not love those children. otherwise they wouldn't have said that in front of them. the whole 'we didnt intend to hurt them' is bullshit, specially when followed up by 'the kids shouldn't be that upset at the truth'. if they actually gave a damn about op's kids, they would've handled it differently. they would've apologized.

[@4BWVan]

Both of my bio grandfathers died before I was born. My Nana's second husband, my Gramps, was my "step" grandfather, but I literally never called him that or thought of him that way. He was my grandfather, period, and never second class anything. If he had ever treated me like these fools treated those poor kids, I would have been heartbroken. DNA /=/ family!

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: So glad that OP and her bro has gone NC with the parents because those assholes are sociopaths. They only doted on OP's adopted children until OP's bro and wife gave them a blood related grandchild. Then they dropped those children like a hot potato RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN. Hope OP gets her kiddos into therapy because this rejection by the grandparents will most likely be devastating and they might start blaming the innocent baby cousin for the shitty attitude the grandparents have.

[@kateemma22]

OP2 - I am begging you to find a single iota of self-respect. Please.

[@i2010mac]

I was told straight to my face that my sister is the favorite on my dad side with his sister and brother-in-law. Family sometimes can be very hurtful it’s not right. I hope for the best with OP and her family

[@waterdragondelta]

When I was little I had a “favorite” grandma, and I felt very confused and guilty for that. I tried to bond with my paternal grandmother, but for multiple reasons (only some of which I understood) we never got closer. I never felt closer. She even had a name like a title, “Granda [surname], while my maternal gramma was /always/ “gramma”, when I called out to her and “my gramma” when I talked about her with third parties. When I was older I tried to ask gramma if she herself liked Grandma S, and she got a bit evasive. At some later point she confessed to me that she wasn’t very comfortable around her because Grandma S had once, at an event that included my grandparents, parents, cousins and an uncle or two, gotten upset when my Gramma showed kindness to my youngest cousin, one of the two that Grandma S had essentially become guardian of at that time. Grandma S took Gramma aside and she told her “those are MINE. Those two (my brother and I) are yours.” Uncomfortable with the declaration and its implications, Gramma left her alone after that. She was still kind to my cousins, though she tried to make herself scarce if Grandma S was there, too. Ultimately I lost my Gramma to kidney failure in 2014, and in the months leading up to the inevitable (she refused treatment) I spent portions of my waking day and _all_ of my nights with her. It was awful, there was very little sleep during those last two+ weeks and I wouldn’t give up a second of anything. My Grandma Scheidler died some three years later, long after I had learned that it didn’t really matter to her if I visited (unless it was with the unreachable cousins she had raised, or with my father.) Visiting her was also a very lonely experience for me. She died alone. I felt awful about her experience and situation. It was one of those moments I really wished my Gramma was there, because even though I was sorry my Dad had lost his Mom (cousins were largely out of the picture at that point) I couldn’t find it in me to feel any sadder about her passing that I would have for any lonely stranger. First OP is a champion. OP’s brother and SIL know what’s up and obviously want their little one to grow up knowing that you can’t lose love by sharing it. OP’s mother will get back what she gives. Whatever she does get, I hope it brings her happiness.

[@julias2855]

Husband has grown kids. When we got together they are similar in age to me. Kids r my grandkids. I call them that. We discussed that they don’t really feel comfortable w me being “grandma”. Fair. So they call me by name. But they don’t fully understand. They see me as a grandmother & I love on them as mine. I married a man w children. If I can’t treat them like my own, I’m an a***.

[@wetsocks9952]

The commenter on story 1 update. That gma is awesome. I want bubbles and coloring books too.

[@Callimo]

You know, apart from health issues, DNA relation shouldn't have such a huge hold on our species like it does. Especially with the millions of stories of directly related family members being absolute asswipes to those who are related to them. People should be valued as family by action not by physical lineage. NTA, OP, and keep protecting your kids from toxic family.

[@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet]

Man I've had NIGHTMARES about my parents getting back together. The idea of it makes me so unbelievably angry I think I might actually kill one or both of them if they ever did. Their divorce fucked us up so to reconcile later on would be a total betrayal.

[@BenKonosky]

Story 2: I was all for this until she said about having a third kid. No. Just no. Op is not in love with this guy, she just wants another kid.

[@debrapilchard7020]

As a grandparent with several blended family's.. bs.how cruel and heartless...We have several grand children and onle 3biological ones. They just need love.

[@abx42]

Not accepting grandchildren that came by a relationship is crude unusual and I have so many things to say on this.

[@roelthas]

You cannot trust someone the same after a betrayal, you're just fooling yourself.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

If you take a cheater back he will think he can get away with it. Cheating is a willing choice to betray you. You don’t trip into another person’s genitals. You are also teaching your son it’s ok to cheat on his future wife and it teaches your daughter to tolerate a cheating husband. Think about that, Mother.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

As someone who had a step-grandparents, blood means nothing. I didn't know it was odd to have 3 grandma's and 3 granddads until someone told me. My Nan was the most supportive person when I struggled to learn to swim, and she nearly jumped out of her hospital bed when she found out I was engaged at 18. Her and my poppy were my biggest supporters of my relationship. Step-grandparents are real grandparents!

[@MrMonochromatic]

Wait til you hear about grand-aunts and grand-uncles...

[@o0BlackSand0o]

@@MrMonochromatic is that great aunts and uncles cause my great aunt got me drunk for the first time at 13... she's awesome.

[@MrMonochromatic]

@o0BlackSand0o Grand is for the same tier as grandmother/father (their siblings), you would start using great after that like great-grandmother for your grandmother's mother. People tend to say great-aunt for grand-aunt, it's fine.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

@@MrMonochromatic Yeah, here we use great for aunt and uncles that are grandparent's siblings or older. We called them aunt or uncle in person but when speaking of how we're connected we say great. Same as my Nana was referred to as Nana by my children in person, not great Nana etc

[@whispermcgaughy7251]

NTA.. My heart breaks for the kids because they thought they were truly a family.. OP needs to understand that them saying that,also means that they don't accept her lifestyle.. If it were me, I'd simply cut them out of my life because if they are unwilling to acknowledge they hurt the kids then they don't deserve to be apart of our lives,period! Good on brother for standing in solidarity with his sister,that almost made me 😭 I hope things work out for them,I think his cheating had alot to do with them having been together for so long and never having experienced anybody else, that's not an excuse,just an observation..

[@cynthiaturcotte9280]

Those kids need to start referring to OPs parents as "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" instead of Nana and Pop. They (the "grandparents") don't deserve such grandparental terms of endearment. I am so ANGRY on those kids' behalf. OP is NTA and I am cheering her Mama Bear streak from the rooftop!

[@MutteringCondolences]

Story 1: Some things can't be unsaid. When the words are out, they stay out, and the fallout can last a lifetime. I'm currently not on speaking terms with my father after something disgusting he said around the start of November and for some behavior out of my brothers he allowed during Canadian Thanksgiving. He texted me last weekend asking if we could talk. I told him we could, but it would need to be Thursday evening due to prior commitments. He agreed. I texted him letting him on Thursday know I was home and free for a couple hours. It's been radio silence. I think my relationship with my Mom and Dad might be over.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: i agree with op. if the parents can't accept kids that were already made into the family after marriage then why should they be invited to family dinners? it's like shitting on a adoptive kid for being adopted.

[@MrMonochromatic]

My guy's grandmother does this to his step-father, like the father is always family to her, but the guy that's been breaking his back for them (and her) for a couple of decades isn't? Said it right in front of him on a holiday and we were all baffled. Makes me wonder if she thinks I'm family or not, been with her grandkid for fifteen years. Gran's weird about her half-siblings too, when mine are just my sisters to me. Then his mom says her nieces and nephews via marriage still consider her an aunt after the divorce, so that's refreshing.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

First OP. Wouldn't it be a karmic plot twist if her brother's fiancee cheated and the kid isn't even his? Then grandparents are left without any grandkids.

[@boneymeroney2674]

Story 1. Omg. Not the AH. Sorry about the crap bag parents/grand parents.

[@artygirl66]

This makes me so incredibly angry. I had a woman I called grandma Betty up til the day she passed away. She only ever dated my papaw but she was the only grandma I knew growing up. She loved me and my siblings and parents like we were her own. I'm thankful for her being in my life as a child and I would never trade it for anything. Those "grandparents" are trash and op's children will be better off without their fake love in their lives

[@tegantalks9612]

10:27 I have 2 sets of step grandparents (1 set has sadly passed away). My step dad’s parents never treated me like a grandchild but were always kind to me so I was never really upset when they treated my younger brother different because of that relationship. My step mom’s parents welcomed me with open arms as a grandchild from day 1 and treated me as a granddaughter until the day they died. On that side 4 of us are step kids and we were all treated the same as the bio kids. Heck, even my step mom treats my kids like her own grand kids and I can’t imagine that changing when my brother or sister have their own kids. Also, my uncle is an adopted child and he never got treated any differently from my mom or the other cousins on either side, even now my grandma spoils my uncle’s daughters more than me and my brother lol

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Story 2: He gained my trust as a friend…no body cheats in a friend. Jesus they told the kids right away too!

[@franl155]

It's always sad and ridiculous to me when people place DNA and bloodline above loving relationships to such an extent that they'll deny their daughter's children to their faces, even when offered a way out of the hole they dug themselves into.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

You can’t insist that kids call you by honorary titles and not live up to those titles, that’s CRUEL.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. NTA! What a horrible thing for you parents to say, especially in front of the kids. Even if you were just their stepmom, it would be wrong. But, you have adoptex them!? That makes it even worse! Those are you kids in every way, both legally, AND in the heart. Their are 12 grandkids from my 3 siblings, and 4 great grand kids, and my dad (stepdad) calls and love them as if they were his own flesh and blood. Just as he refers to me as his daughter, and not his stepdaughter, he calls all the kids his grandkids not his step grandkids. Your parents are just outright aholes, and plain terrible.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

It’s awful they said it in front of the kids but it’s also fantastical to think it’s the same when a divorce could change family circumstance.

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

1. Your adopted children ARE your real children! It makes me so irritated when people say they're not. My mom was adopted and was an only child... never spoiled, but definitely well loved and "real". Biology isn't everything.

[@wyvern723]

Dont let it ruin a baby's first Thanksgiving?! Baby ain't gonna notice anything. OP is NTA. Thats a horrible thing to say to kids they told to call them grandparent names. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@christinecampbell1677]

Ignorant grandparents. How can you spoil a babies first Thanksgiving. The baby won't even know what is going on. They are ignorant. I wouldn't want my children anywhere near them.

[@cayo2031]

Not ignorant

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@cayo2031 are you serious? They are very ignorant.

[@sassbrat]

My cousin's 2nd husband has taken her son from her 1st marriage and has raised that kid as his own as well that that kid asking to take that man he see as his father's last name as well as his parents treating him just like he was their own. Family is not just blood.

[@MrMonochromatic]

I actually knew a kid that changed his last name to the step-dad's, his choice.

[@lacefreak]

Story#1. I have never understood this attitude. So adopted children are not “real” grandchildren? We have members in our family who were “adopted” but they are just regular family to us.

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Wishing you a restful sleep. おやすみ！❤️😴

[@Markee]

Goodnight Telinha 🔥

[@EllieC130]

Story 2: I wish them luck honestly. I don’t necessarily think the husband will cheat again. Taking him back 3 months after he cheated? Big red flag on the cheating front. But y’all think after cheating once 10 years ago he’s guaranteed to do it again? How jaded are y’all?

[@missmiranda605]

Just totally glossed over how I busted all over you- oh sorry I meant busted you saying that weird stuff on that other video lol. Markee you are a goose.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

I remember the first story. Glad to hear an update and that they're doing okay. The grandparents are assholes. How dare you get those kids to love you as their family, only to treat them much the same as you would some neighbor's kids once you have a bio-grandkid? They're not substitutes! They're children and they deserve _real_ love, not conditional.

[@maiqtheliar789]

Those so called grandparents seem like they just don't want to admit that they did anything wrong even if it is very obvious that it is driving a wedge into the family. The first time might have been a slip of the tongue and they didn't catch on to being given an out. Everything that came afterwards though is what makes them horrible. OP reached out to them and gave them a way to mend the rift peacefully. But their pride won't let them do it. Honestly sounds like they were treating OPs kids as accessories to show off rather than human beings. They don't see anything wrong with it because they are only telling the truth. Obviously they never learned any tact. Tact is important. Tact is knowing when to keep your mouth shut and when to speak. Tact is knowing when to speak the unfiltered truth and knowing when to keep your mouth shut. There is NO reason that you have to say ANY of that in front of the OPs kids at all. Someone with tact would know that and kept the peace.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

Hell some people would love to have grandkids and any step/adopted one would do. My girls don't have any kids 27 and 24. My oldest daughter can't have kids due to health reasons. She loves cats and has 4 I love my grandcats as if they were human. Hell I spoil them at Christmas with gifts. My youngest loves cats too, but her boyfriend doesn't, but they got a dog. My granddog Dill pickle. They rescued her from that dog lab/dog mill issue last year. You know the one that had dogs go all around the country to shelters. I know some people hate Prince Harry being referred to but Dilly came from the same issue that he rescued his new dogo from. Dilly my even be a sibling to his

[@boatthere867]

fir the first year or 2 i can under stand the gran parents 3 years if there abit slow on the uptake and dont see you and the kids often but over 5 years nope sorry the granperents are wrong

[@Khaisz.]

I can see where the parents are coming from, it's their first biological grandchildren and they are just so happy they can't think right, but that is what makes them complete idiots, especially when they started doubling and tripling down even after being given an out by the SIL. NTA

[@dethmetelchik]

Hey, I've been out of the loopbut what happened to your other channel?

[@GinaStanton1]

Boomers be booming unfortunately ☹

[@ivy456]

I'm sorry but OP overreacted in the first story. They aren't really their grandkids. They can love the kids but if they don't feel like they are their grandparents than that's their right.

[@ivy456]

@@gigi4252 No they didn't take it back. They never said they were the grandparents just what they wanted to be called. They clearly had a different idea of their role compared to OP. Most likely they saw them as stepgrandkids. Never as their own. So now they are excited to have a real grandkid. There's nothing wrong with that.

[@ivy456]

@@gigi4252 Like I said they probably saw them more as step grandchildren hence the name Pop-pop. They also have every right to get excited for their first grandchild. That doesn't mean they don't like OP's kids. It just means they had a very different understanding about what the relationship with the kids was. OP should've talked about this before with the parents in private. That could've prevented a lot of hurt.

[@ivy456]

@@gigi4252 That's why I think OP should've talked to her parents to establish a relationship with the kids. The grandparents weren't wrong in what they said. They have every right to get excited for their only grandchild. Sorry but I called people grandma/grandpa/aunti knowing full well they weren't my family but that's how they prefered to be called. If everyone knew where they stood in the family the kids wouldn't have been hurt. OP is just making everything worse by blowing it out of proportion. Instead of just talking everything out.

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

[@alexius23]

🦘🦘🦘🧙🏻‍♂

[@LovestarVGC]

S1-NAH, My parents have gotten very close with many step-grandchildren just to have them taken away forever when my siblings split up with their respective spouses. I understand what the grandmother meant but I do fault her a little for that slip of the tongue in front of the kids

[@fiyahquacker2835]

It clearly wasn't a slip of the tounge considering the fact that the ops wife gave them an out but they chose to double down. Clearly you did not understand what she meant and how things played out otherwise you would've called the grandparents the asshole that they are and the op not one.

[@nikkirodriguez2809]

Is anyone else finding it hard to believe that this never came up before now about how her parents felt about her stepchildren in the first story? Like I find it very unbelievable that it's never once been mentioned or slipped in a conversation how the parents couldn't wait for real grandchildren or the excitement over your the sister-in-law's pregnancy. While the grandparents were completely in the wrong for saying that in front of the children I don't feel like they were wrong for how they feel and I absolutely don't believe for one second that this was never mentioned before now sounds like it's a bit more complicated than what's being led on.

[@Callimo]

If the grandparents truly felt this way, they wouldn't have asked the kids to call them nana and pop. They literally built a whole relationship with OP's kids only to reveal it was all for show. Some people are just skeezy like that

[@kaidrazarc8000]

Good chance cause they were loving grandparents who were willing to step up when both bio sets of grandparents wouldn't & now those kids don't even have adopted grandparents cause OP wasn't willing to talk it out

[@grecia3146]

Even if they did comments about Sister-in-law’s pregnancy depending on the wording it could be interpreted as any grandparents excitement for a new grandchild.

[@codex_jinora]

From what I understand, they kept up the facade because they were enjoying the rented grandkids until they'd get their "real" (yuck) ones. They probably didn't realize how much worth they placed on blood relation until the daughter in law got pregnant. Some people are fucked up in their sense of pride and worth.

[@grecia3146]

@@kaidrazarc8000 is it worth it to have your kids around people who was willing to say those things right in front of them? The grandparents fully said with not regrets how they don’t see those kids as grandkids. OP tried to talk to them but grandpa blew it.

[@Hahafukyuuu]

Yta first story

[@cayo2031]

The parents are not wrong 😂 the kids are their step grand kids so technically not their real grandkids

[@teresafinch7790]

The children have been adopted, therefore they are op's children so they are grandparents.

[@cayo2031]

@@teresafinch7790 the grandparents didn’t adopt them as their grandkids and they are not related by blood so get your facts right instead of emotions facts is facts n you can’t change the way they feel you can force them to be grandparents to kids they don’t want

[@teresafinch7790]

@@cayo2031 if someone is adopted the children are their children just as much as if they were born to them, so if I suddenly adopted a child that would make my Mum a grandmother whether she liked it or not. Emotions have nothing to do with it, nor does blood.

[@Taizu314]

Those kids are legally their grandchildren. How they feel doesn’t change that.

[@Callimo]

Get your head out of your ass. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Someone who doesn't share any DNA with you can be a more real family member than someone who doesn't. Those grandparents went out of their way to establish a grandparent relationship with those kids only to drop them for a bio kid. That sucks and they don't need to be anyone's grandparent.

[@peteranon8455]

Story 1. I'm on the grandparents' side. You get to choose your family, but so do they.

[@tylerpatrick3511]

So you agree with OP cutting them off then? Since OP can choose their family? Even though the grandparents pushed to be reffered by OPs kids as their grandparents. Even if that concept is okay saying that in front of children like that is simply cruel.

[@Ale33810]

If you daughter/son come to you saying "those are my children no metter what", you as a grandparents get to decide if you want them as family. Right away. Not after years because a bio grandchild is coming. Wtf

[@peteranon8455]

@@Ale33810 This story is a bit extreme, but as someone's whose grandfather has remarried 3 times, I'll tell you that all this "stepchildren" aren't people I'm necessarily family with. There's like 50 people I've never met!

[@Ale33810]

@@peteranon8455 well that's another story obviously.

[@katwiltz1134]

You don't lie to kids by saying call me grandma and grandpa and pretend to love them anybody that they loved at all even one iota they wouldn't have dismissed them after welcoming them as Grandparents their s*** people. And yeah everybody gets to choose except for the kids that seems fair. The kids were suckered in by these old narcissists then they had their throat cut not once but twice. With a grandparents did would make me the sister-in-law not want them around my kids either. Cuz they lie and they suckered the kids in do you know that saying taking candy from a baby that's how easy it was for these grandparents. But you don't get to say hey little kids call us this little names while we pretend that we love you and then drop you like a hot potato when we get something real. S*** is humans imaginable that can still pass for loving or normal.

[@marlica7]

Clearly I'm an asshole cuz the parents are not wrong they are not saying they don't love the children but these are their first biological grandchildren. She made a choice it's not fair to expect others to feel how she does. The only thing they did wrong was saying it in front of the children for that you can cancel dinner but not for how they feel

[@debbielmitchell4880]

The grandparents ARE wrong. I am a grandparent of 6, one of which has no biological connection to me. She is MY GRANDDAUGHTER and is equal to the other 5. I babysit her all the time, just like I did with the others. I absolutely LOVE that little girl. She is family and always will be.

[@cayo2031]

Finally someone with some brain the grandparents don’t have to take care or love any grandkids they didn’t adopt they are not their real grandparents

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

Yup YTA

[@randomusername3873]

@@cayo2031 so they can tell the kids to call them grandparents and then change idea? What's wrong with you people?

[@dallaswalker340]

they're legally the grandparents. lol. they're adopted.