I don't know who I am ⎥ Unmasking Autism ⎥

This is a raw video sharing my experience trying to connect with my authentic self after a lifetime of thinking I'm neurotypical, only to find out I'm actually hella autistic.

[@claremfrench]

Perfect for today - so great to hear other people talking about this and what a long and ongoing process unmasking is. Feeling the lack of interest in the details from the neurotypical world at the moment - so grateful for the online autistic community. Thanks for taking up space xxx

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

I'm currently going through unmasking, I just read the book a little earlier this year and those exercises are difficult. Singing is definitely one of my earliest special interests, too. I remember when I was 6 telling everyone that I wanted to be an opera singer. I really love folk singing, too. The way people used to sing while working. I surpressed that urge for decades now, and dug up that old interest lately. I started singing folk songs to my son and he loves it 😊 👍 The part I suppressed was how emotional songs can make me. It can make me cry if a song is moving. I also get pretty afraid to inconvenience people with singing and I'm terrified of an awkward interaction. That's definitely one reason why alone time is so important to many of us Autistic people.

[@nesegeltese]

I also love singing but do it almost exclusively when I'm alone. And I also wanted to be an opera singer when I was a little kid 😀

[@nict4025]

Hi, I can definitely relate. I'm also late diagnosed (2 years ago at 45), and I really struggle with knowing who I am. I also read Dr Devon Price's book last year and like you I didn't do the exercises, mainly because I felt they'd be too difficult and too emotional. However, watching your video is making me think about revisiting the book and having a go at the exercises. I found your videos not long after I was diagnosed and they have definitely been helpful, so thanks for making them. Sending love from Wales, UK.

[@Catlily5]

There plenty of room on the internet and you are a welcome addition!

[@Cyoire]

This is 💯 relatable. I just love to sing and the feeling of it, even though I know I'm not very good at it 😅 I find it so calming and want to do it more often since I find it so therapeuthic and healing after what I've been through so far in my life. Thank you so much for sharing this!!! 💖💖💖 I used to sing with my ex and I loved that aspect of him. Authenticity is more of what we need.

[@johnmorris6820]

Congrats for making the video. You did very well. Also very late diagnosed, 60's.

[@kimberlyholdiman89]

Thank you so much for this video it’s exactly what I needed. Just got diagnosed with ADHD and in the process of getting my autism diagnosis. I had a pretty big autistic burnout last November and now that I’m not so exhausted I’ve been trying to figure out who I am since it felt like my mask broke and I’ve been masking since I was a young child (I’m 34 now). I’ve had the same thoughts of how dare I take up space and didn’t realize how detrimental they were and were holding me back until you said it, it’s like something clicked in my brain and I just started crying.

[@raincity5004]

I normally only limited mask my autism just to be socially polite to a degree, but I don’t care about what people see, and my happiness a lot worth my indentations come across a little strange because I’m interacting with different people I just do it enough so that people aren’t weirded out or they’re only slightly weirded out

[@Catlily5]

I masked as much as I could but I am a terrible actress. So I only do basic masking. I have always loved singing as well.

[@CaraRamzi]

Hey homie….I’m also late diagnosed with Autism and ADHD✌🏼great topic; hearing you talk about this and sharing your experiences is like music to my ears!🎶💕 I think you’ll love reading “Neurodivergent Mind”✨

[@isabellammusic]

Hi! This is very interesting and I can relate.

[@kittin9018]

Thanks for speaking your truth and encouraging the rest of us to be our neurodivergent selves...dont let those critical voices get the better of you...remember you are your best friend...would you let anyone talk to your best friend like the critical internal voices do..?..sing your heart out gal and chase those voices away...much love and respect from Yorkshire in the uk 🇬🇧...so glad you popped up in my feed...subbed, liked and I'll be checking in with your journey again you beautiful brave & courageous woman !! ❤🎉❤🥳🥳🥳

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

The thing that people need to grasp is fairly simple: autistic brains and allistic brains actually look different on MRI. You can't MAKE an autistic brain allistic, but the majority of people ARE allistic so it's natural they're expect autistic brains to conform. We can do that but we don't do it well so the time AND there's negative repercussions for some of us in doing so. As for the walk back into childhood, there's many who should NOT try such an exercise (eg people with severe comorbid features like trauma or lack of strong social supports as adults). Because it's a spectrum disorder, the severity of the symptoms differ between people greatly. I get a little tired having to explain that a lot but do when I hear someone say something stupid like,"She doesn't LOOK autistic." 😂 Or "The aspie boy I knew flapped a lot. Why don't YOU flap?" 😂 Oh well.

[@ArgenAndJael]

Used to love singing as a kid but stopped because of fear of annoying people--are you me?! 😅