"feeling sad for the person I thought I'd be able to be", 100% agree with the feeling. Also for all the energy wasted in attempts that could have never worked AND happy for finally understanding what to look for.
@richardwilsonavena2 күн бұрын
We need waaaaay more videos on executive dysfunction
@annienamaste82834 күн бұрын
❤❤❤❤
@kvacka10 күн бұрын
Here where I live they never let anyone go up to 42 weeks or even further, they say it's too dangerous for both, mother and baby, because placenta can stop working properly after that. 41 weeks is max. And then they even gave you medicine that can cause placenta abruption, at 42 weeks, uhhh... I'm so sorry to listen to your story but I'm also glad that both of you made it! I was also shocked, we obviously have very different arrangements, birthing centers here are also hospitals as well and I can't imagine that that could even be divided... Wow!
@BonnieLouTube11 күн бұрын
I seem to only have empathy for animals. Even when someone I love is suffering, I feel little to no emotion. I have felt empathy for humans before, but it's rare.
@abmrose14 күн бұрын
Ha! It’s the damp hair for me; I have several ways of helping it stay off my skin so I don’t have to feel it. My scalp now responds well to washing once a week, and tbh I do it to make those around me not suffer my grossness 😂
@alabamacrimsontide47317 күн бұрын
I'm just curious, were there any third party interviews with the Psychologist?
@theJellyjoker29 күн бұрын
I want to watch the video, but the echo was too much. 🥲
@rstar718329 күн бұрын
1:24 actually that is a good question. Because some things are underdiagnosed and we have an industry that would love to label us.
@damescholarАй бұрын
Our public healthcare here in Finland does not diagnose adults. The official reason is that 1. Adults have coped thus far so diagnosis does not change anything. 2. There is no cure so why diagnosis. The real reason; they cut costs. I had to go to a private clinic and was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder and ADSD. It made a great difference. I was validated. I had suffered whole my life from alienation, depression, anxiety and eating disorders. Now I know why and can stop blaming myself and know also what to do to make my life easier - even wuthout support. And there is the autistic community! Finslly I belong somewhere.
@damescholarАй бұрын
ADHD, sorry. typo.
@CyoireАй бұрын
This is 💯 relatable. I just love to sing and the feeling of it, even though I know I'm not very good at it 😅 I find it so calming and want to do it more often since I find it so therapeuthic and healing after what I've been through so far in my life. Thank you so much for sharing this!!! 💖💖💖 I used to sing with my ex and I loved that aspect of him. Authenticity is more of what we need.
@MybabycaseАй бұрын
Just got diagnosed 32 autism level 2 and adhd
@dakota-sessionsАй бұрын
cute and quirky is wonderful
@bazingablingАй бұрын
How are you autistic? Nothing about the way you are seems to spell ASD. Just curious about how and why you got the diagnosis
@user-wb9un5qx7wАй бұрын
I had a similar experience to you with massive hemorrhaging, 15 units of blood products tranfusions, severe blood loss, sepsis, shock, ICU stay. Thanks for sharing your story
@wej0wАй бұрын
Yes I have some of my favorite recipes which isnt many since I hyperfixate on the same food constantly (mostly fried rice variations). But I keep making them precicely acording to the recipe. And sometimes Im overwelmed by the amount of things I need to cut (which I also tend to do to perfection as small pieces a as possible) and want just skip some ingredients, for the longest time I forced myself to do it. When I finnaly gave in and did cut some corners the meal was still fine and it made me so relaxed to be happy with what is enough. Other parts of life I still struggle to let things like this go and try to perfect most things. But yeah it can be so relaxing to let some things just go and notice it doesnt matter that much.
@AutismAddictАй бұрын
Meow ❤ Just diagnosed at 56 🎉
@ArgenAndJaelАй бұрын
Used to love singing as a kid but stopped because of fear of annoying people--are you me?! 😅
@ghostinhalegodАй бұрын
Thank you for making content like this 💜💙
@narayaniangulo94562 ай бұрын
But who wouldn't want to be a cat 🐈 💗
@steveneardley75412 ай бұрын
I've taken the test, and thought it was pretty lame in the questions it asked. It overstressed imagination among other things, and understressed difficulties in social perception, in executive function, and in sensory overloads. There was not a single question about either shutdowns or meltdowns. And I'm not even sure there was a question about stimming. The test comes out of the medical community, which is way behind the online autistic community in understanding autism.
@claremfrench2 ай бұрын
Perfect for today - so great to hear other people talking about this and what a long and ongoing process unmasking is. Feeling the lack of interest in the details from the neurotypical world at the moment - so grateful for the online autistic community. Thanks for taking up space xxx
@user-oh1cx4bh7y2 ай бұрын
Hi there. I'm a L&D RN with 30 years of experience. I am so sorry that your experience was so horrific, however for you to say that anyone who says recovery from a C-Section is easier than vaginal delivery is FUCKING STUPID!Is a very self-centered and ignorant statement! C-Sections save lives, both Mom and baby's. I had 2 C-Sections at age 30 and 33, I was out of the hospital a little less than 2 days in both cases. I was going up and down the spiral staircase the day I got home, so it was a bteeze for me. Tell your story but don't make assumptions on how someone else is going to do, especially by cursing and calling them deragatory names. I have witnessed horrendous complications with vaginal deliveries from vaginal tears that split open the rectum on more than 1 occassion, hemorrhages, mom's dying from throwing an embolus from amniotic fluid while pushing, babies getting stuck in pelvis and yanked out with forceps causing major cranial bleeds, the list goes on.
@Potatodork642 ай бұрын
My assessment, was Exactly like yours, or at least almost exactly the same I felt. Waiting on results 😖
@Lyrazel2 ай бұрын
The chore sticks seem like an inspired concept! I will try it
@debraball26412 ай бұрын
The strong sensitivity to sounds, scents and textures is something I relate to.
@peekaboo74242 ай бұрын
Thank you for walking me through your diagnostic testing. All the of the tests were they part of the adult ADOS?
@maiyapercy2 ай бұрын
I don‘t think autism is over diagnosed. In women it is rather under diagnosed. It took me 47 years of my life to get my diagnosis, and I had to find out myself first. I had to find out where I could go to get a diagnosis and I had to pay for it myself. I am happy that I have my diagnosis now.
@ivettakissova75942 ай бұрын
I love this lady what a beautiful mother
@natgrant13642 ай бұрын
3:12 I always heard that I wasn't trying hard enough and just needed to apply myself. I eventually dropped out of high-school because I simply couldn't stand being there. I'm a 52 year old widower on disability. I am diagnosed with Schizoid / Schizotypal personality disorder. I've read the descriptions for those and they don't make any sense to me. They only address the fact that I am extremely socially awkward. I'm also supposed to be prone to magical thinking and paranoia, which doesn't apply at all. I'm also supposed to not care about anyone else and that couldn't be farther from accurate if it tried. I was married for 27 years and my late wife and I were very close and I cared a great deal for her. I care about lots of people. Many of my other issues are completely ignored because people evaluating me just don't seem like they can be bothered to listen to what I'm actually saying. The more content about neuro-divergence I watch, the more I realize how easy it is to relate to people with ADHD and autism. I don't know if I can do anything about my diagnosis but I want to thank you anyway for making this video. It is helping me understand what's going on.
@lisbethchristensen19812 ай бұрын
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
@jazmonlawrence60632 ай бұрын
The sticks for the chores is GENIUS THank you
@slingshot62972 ай бұрын
I'm in my mid 40s and just at the start of my Autism journey. It's the best and worst experience simultaneously. I've been high functioning most of my life and therefore learned to mask at a very young age. When lockdown hit it was the first time I could remember that I didn't have to wake up and get my masks ready for the day. I don't think I ever realised this was my function until I didn't have to do it. I spent best part of two years home working and with the permanent excuse to not have to socialise. It was bliss. I'd always known I was introverted but pushed through it so that the people around me could have a 'normal' experience. I' didn't ever want my wife or kids to feel they were missing out because I struggled with intense anxiety at the most basic of social gatherings. I'd manage to get out of some things but as I said, I learned to mask my internal state and function very well. To this day I think most of the people who think they know me would totally disregard the suggestion that I was autistic. Following lockdown ending I struggled to get back to this high functioning state. It started to really hit home to me just how exhausting and damaging it was to do this and how it had impacted me for decades now. Even worse, I realised that I was not being my true self at all - completely building a character(s) that would hide how much of a mess I am and fitting the agenda what it took to be liked and accepted in the various circles my life moved in. At this point I was looking for decent sources of self help - thinking this was just a blip and never assuming Autism was at the heart of it. The more I searched for anxiety and introversion the more material about Autism kept coming up. I ignored it, never considering it applied to me for a minute. If I'm honest my idea of what Autism was, was very thin and surface level. Books, online therapy, all followed and all seemed to point at Autism. That's when I decided to really look at what it was. Everything just unlocked in that moment. So many parts of my life story were just right there. From hightened senses (hearing and to an even greater degree my often overpowering sense of smell), to all the very difficult relationships I've had. I read one of the other comments below where someone wrote that until their diagnose they just thought they were an awful human being. That rings through massively with me. I feel like where ever I go I leave a trail of unhappiness and anger in the people I've met. I've lived what should have been the happiest time of my life, with my wife and children, fearing that one day they will see me as damaged and no good as most people do. It has always felt like it was just a matter of time before I reach that point and my life gets wiped out again. Understanding myself through what I'm now leaning about Autism has literally been lifesaving. I've been in a really bad place at times. That said, there is a limit to how much it can help me as I'm scared to make it official or share it with people I know. Where I'm from you can get diagnosed for free but it goes on your medical records and will be seen by employers. On a number of occasions my employer has been in financial difficulty and each time this happens I've been identified as the first person in my team who'll lose his job. So far it hasn't happened but it hangs over me. I don't know why I was identified as the first to go. My productivity and contributions have been solid. I sense deeply that it's that I'm odd. Like many it's been commented on by lots of people consistently throughout my life. I have a poor relationship with my parents and couldn't possibly tell them. They've spoken very badly about people who we've known who've had mental health problems or breakdowns and they have an attitude following this of disregarding those peoples opinions or needs because 'they're not right'. I vaguely remember a teacher when I was may 7-8 years old talking to my mother about having me tested for something and insisting it would help me. I would get more school support and extra time to finish tasks or test as my education went on but my mother said no and that I would be labelled for life. I get that concern. I found two private healthcare providers that offered a basic screening for free to gauge the likelihood of Autism before taking the financial commitment (2500k) of getting full screening. Both of those test had me in the highest category - only a few points from maxing out the score. I also found some of the most researched tests on the website embrace autism selected by Dr. Natalie Engelbrecht ND RP. Similarly, I found myself in the 'no doubt' categories of all of them. I know in my heart it's true also but feel like I don't have the right to claim it without official screening. I've talked to my wife now who is some kind of Angel. She's told me that see it too and she's with me 100% no matter what but also recognises my concerns about 'coming out'. Her family for instance were not fully appoving of our relationship - for example her father even told me once that he wouldn't support us getting married and I wasn't what they wanted for her, despite no conflict or incident of concern ever cropping up. He has since been very critical of the life we've built together and put a lot of pressure on us over our life choices.We are very content with the life we've built but he feels his daughter hasn't followed his 'go getter' way and I've influenced that with my weird outlook on life. We both believe if he knew about this it would just add fuel to the fire. He has a strong influence over the rest of her family and so that seems like a massive no go. My wife also understands that I don't want to talk to our children about it as I don't want them to lose confidence in me as their father. I also don't wan't to lean on my wife too hard or too fast so I try to hold some stuff back. So there's no safe place inside the family or the workplace. That would leave friends, but as I'm sure many people reading this with Autism will attest, they can be few and far between. I have a litter of broken relationships from people who couldn't understand or were even offended by my inability to socialise in the same ways they could. I have people I would say I'm on a friendly basis with but no one I could trust or who would even want to know about any of this. I've learned from previous mistakes not to speak up about personal issues as it brings to light that many people I wanted to think I was close to didn't see it that way and were uncomfortable to hear about anything on the personal level. That's super hard as it takes a lot for me to open up but when I have, it's made people run for the hills and it makes you even more careful. I think a lot of people have good family bonds and don't need as much from friendships as I might. They probably feel I've leaned in too hard and overshot the boundary. So it's an incredibly lonely place. I'm ready to stop masking now and be myself. Ironically, that's the person I was when my wife first met my wife at 11 years old. I was odd, I vocalised my different views of the world and my experiences with almost no filter and that's who she fell in love with. I try to remember that all the time and see that I put that away to try and fit in. In order to break out I know that I'm going to either lose people or choose to distance myself from some people to do this. I don't fully understand why this has to be the case. My behaviour was never extreme or unacceptable in my opinion but that's the point - Autism often includes an inability to fully understand the logic of others or see their boundaries fully. There's still massive stigma about it and lot's of very wrong assumptions and labels attached to it. The biggest for me being that our emotional intelligence is defective or that we don't have empathy. I know most of my anxiety (and I'm going to even say trauma) comes from feeling like I'm hurting the people around me, or disappointing them, or letting them down. Most of my making has been built to counter that - trying to please others and show them they can trust me and depend on me. The problem with that is that one slip and those people never look at you the same - assuming you were being disingenuous or manipulating them. Losing someones trust or friendship that way is literally the opposite of what I work hard for. This is where a lot of the social anxiety and burnout come from. Not to mention the shame and low self worth. I'm grateful that people are taking the time to share their experiences - it makes a huge difference when you feel very alone. Thank you to anyone who read this very long comment... sorry - it's the first time I've let it all out. I probably won't check back to see if anyone replies to this. If there were comments by people saying I'm not Autistic or I'm just being a victim it would really hit hard. I wouldn't know those people but that doesn't seem to matter to me, it would just feel invalidating. I'm used to feeling like I've said or done the wrong thing and it makes me feel like the world is a very hostile place. Saying all of this out loud so to speak doesn't make me feel good or self-validate me. I didn't add this comment in the hope that it would. It's also not attention seeking when clearly I'm scared to tell anyone. It's for anyone else out there who is in the same or similar position. I hope you feel a little bit less alone. I can't say it's all going to work out because I'm just at the start. But I've got a positive outlook and will continue to learn and hopefully grow. Hope that applies to you also.
@emsenior65172 ай бұрын
The fan noise in the background is overwhelming for me, I really appreciate your tips and tricks but thought this was worth mentioning.
@SigMaQuint2 ай бұрын
A music teacher suggested that I might be autistic, but I guess I am just sensitive. Anyhow, I must have learned some autistic type responses somewhere. In a type characterization of schizophrenia, they talk about Bleuler's four A's in Schizophrenia: Alogia, Autism, Ambivalence, and Affect blunting. I know I have had pretty close relations to people with schizophrenia, so that may be the explanation for those autism-like ways of being. Most autistic people do not suffer from schizophrenia, as far as I can understand. I am also in a theater group with someone who is autistic. We don’t talk about diagnoses, but he has those typical quirks, avoiding eye-contact, being reliable, stimming at times, etc. Very accurate. There is little messing about with autistic people.
@diannalynnYT2 ай бұрын
I'm 50. Just found out. My mom tried and tried to get me help when I was a kid. Was told I was a brat. In my 20's got all kinds of diagnoses and all kinds of meds pushed on me. I got worse and worse. Finally stopped all meds and lost trust in mental health doctors. I am lucky. I have a supportive husband who has always been accommodating as my family is. Just never knew what it was. I even thought someone who is autistic is a genius, like trains and is a boy. We don't hear about other traits. I feel like so many questions have been answered
@dus10dnd2 ай бұрын
I really struggle with how my diagnosis has changed my life. I have recently moved from the “now what?” stage to the “so what?” stage. I have always been autistic… it has always been a challenge… now I simply understand why. I was hopeful that it would help my relationship (married 25 years… to a nurse), and it seems worse.
@N4BWR2 ай бұрын
I am recently self-diagnosed. I have not yet sought a formal diagnosis because I am already tired of supposedly "actually autistic" people saying that a self diagnosis does not count. I have taken the AQ, the MQ, the RAADS-R, and the Aspie Quiz and they all say in their own words that there is strong evidence of autism. I started to ask my wife to take the tests on my behalf after I did just to seek further validation and it very quickly became clear that most of the questions need my personal input. I did further research by finding anecdotes from officially diagnosed autistic people and ALL of those anecdotes resonate with me on a deep level. There are very, very few "high points" to being autistic. The rest is a lonely, misunderstood nightmare that I have lived for 42 years without a diagnosis. The fact that "official" diagnoses are rising is a credit to the fact that science is improving. Here I sit without a formal diagnosis because I don't want to be falsely accused of not being "real" by the people who are inexplicably faking autism for social media credibility, or made into an "alarming" storyline of overdiagnosis by journalists who don't understand the moment-by-moment isolation, fear, loneliness, and anxiety. As the creator of this video says, please sit down. We are autistic, we are real, and we are not going away.
@slingshot62972 ай бұрын
My experience is very much like yours. Thank you for sharing. I struggle with talking about this but you and others have inspired me to say my part.In the comments at least.
@gigahorse14752 ай бұрын
I wasn’t diagnosed earlier for a variety of reasons. I was homeschooled by my parents who have strong ND traits. They didn’t recognize I was different in a diagnosable way. My homeschool environment allowed me to stay safe. Still, I had meltdowns which were so extreme people at my church thought my parents were abusing me, and they told them to take me to a psychologist or psychiatrist. But my parents didn’t want me on medicine, and they thought they could help me themselves. When I entered public middle and high school the meltdowns got worse. I thankfully received test taking accommodations through false diagnoses. High school didn’t screen for autism even though all my teachers said I had social issues. When I was 16 I was finally taken to a psychiatrist due to psychosis. Looking back I can see how being undiagnosed autistic contributed to delusions. By that time, any differences I had could be attributed to psychosis. Once I went to college, the meltdowns got even worse. I had been despairing my whole life, wondering why nobody else had meltdowns like me. My psychosis was doing well, though. During college, I started to realize I couldn’t blame psychosis for everything. My closest friends all found out they were autistic. Then I started to consider it for myself. I’ve been told by a couple MH professionals that it’s so obvious that they could tell I’m autistic within the first few minutes of meeting me.
@TDDrum2 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed when I was 29. Like you I always knew I was different, yet had no idea exactly why. I always knew there was the “real” me that I mustn’t let anyone ever see. That’s why I always liked being alone, because I didn’t have to hide anything. I was struggling and looking for answers, and one day I met with a psych who just came out and said it “have you ever been evaluated for autism?” I had already been doing research into my symptoms and was beginning to suspect autism, so when I heard this it really drove me to start looking into getting an official diagnosis, which I eventually did. For me it was about validation and finally knowing that these traits are part of who I am and nothing to be ashamed of. It was the first step in rebuilding my self worth and confidence, and now I know I’m not alone in my experience.
@mikelennon5772 ай бұрын
Great video! I am self diagnosed. I have spent the last half a year learning extensively about autism and it explains me to a tee, but I won't be able to pay for that for well over a year. So it's this difficult position where I have this new insight that explains all of my past experiences, but I've learned that talking about it can be unpredictable without a diagnosis. Other than that, finding out has been great. It's like I found a guide to how I work, and tips to help with all my problems from videos like yours. Nothing was working prior to discovering I'm AuDHD. So thank you for your vdeos.
@damiencrow12092 ай бұрын
Throughout all of my life I have struggled with many things. Some years ago I was diagnosed with depression and CPTSD. I have talked with some people about this. For years I have struggled with keeping jobs, even jobs I loved. Many people don't know this but I also struggled with social anxiety. I looked around and saw other that were able to do things I wasn't able to or had difficulty doing and wondered if they had the same struggles I did. I never asked questions because I just figured that everyone dealt with what I did. There are so many things that I never questioned because I just figured that everyone must have these same struggles. Almost 2 years ago I was talking with someone about a job I was working and talking about patterns I saw and things I did in patterns that helped me do things more efficiently and she very kindly suggested that maybe I was autistic. She had suspected for a while. I considered what she was saying and then decided to do some research. So I deep dove into research on autistic traits. Initially what I ran into was not a fit, due to what I found out later is either misinformation or stereotypes that only cover a very small part of the autism spectrum. So I went deeper and found a number of autistic people on KZbin that had started channels to help other late diagnosed or undiagnosed autistic people, as well as to educate non autistic people. I learned so much from many of these channels, and I absolutely resonated with so much. I learned that the autism spectrum is so much different than many people think it is. I also realized that I was most likely autistic. So I spent about a year researching and it also took that long for me to get tested. I spent about 6 months trying to talk myself into getting tested, and another 6 months to find some place to get tested. I finally found a place in Vancouver that specializes in testing for Autism and ADHD that would take my insurance. I was very lucky in this because many people have to pay out of pocket and the testing is expensive. Or many people end up diagnosed and not listened to. Getting tested for autism is a struggle for many between cost, misinformation in the health industry, lack of support from family and friends, and other things. I was very lucky to find a place that took my insurance and all I had to pay was a co-pay. When I went in for testing they asked me if I also wanted to be tested for ADHD. I figured it couldn't hurt, although I had never really considered looking into this. There were 3 appointments in total. The major testing, which was the second appointment, is anywhere from 3-5 hours long. The first being about an hour with some preliminary testing, and the third being the results. There are intellectual testing, pattern recognition, and then a long series of questioning. It is a deep dive for sure. So after all of my research and then my first appointment I was pretty sure I knew what the results were going to be. My third appointment was to go over the results with the psychologist. So it turns out that I have level 1 autism and combined ADHD, which is a combination of hyperactive and inattentive ADHD. Throughout this whole journey there have been so many stages and range of emotions that I have gone through (contrary to popular belief autistic people do feel very deeply). Initially I felt the largest amount of relief I had ever felt. Finally I had answers! Then the imposter syndrome kicked in. But, in the end, my whole life had explanation. For all of the times in my life that I just felt like a broken human, or that I couldn't understand why I was so overwhelmed. Even the years of depression, which I now understand to be autistic burnout, made sense. Autistic burnout can last months, or even years. I now understand that, while I did deal with some depression symptoms, the majority of it was actually burnout that has lasted for years at a time. My diagnosis saved my life.
@amberbariaktari2 ай бұрын
I’m on social security disability and DSHS food and cash and I am 47 and late diagnosed autistic and ADHD and in Washington State my therapist office has given me a 12 week adult autistic and adhd strategies course that meets weekly and its been life changing and my state insurance is paying for my therapy plus my autistic ADHD strategies group 12 week class. The two therapists who run it are also neurodivergent. This strategies class may be like a newer thing but hoping other states follow.
@iwonac.2952 ай бұрын
Did you give them burth preferences?
@iwonac.2952 ай бұрын
Birth*
@EllaChinois2 ай бұрын
Not much has changed since I received my diagnosis. I have always been different and not quote on quote normal. That is okay. Now I have every reason to say no to things that I don't feel comfortable about, first of all, saying no to people-pleasing. I have had a hard time fitting in, which led me to burnout again and again in my life. So...a diagnosis has given me the permission to stop acting "normal" and to walk away from people who refuse to understand me.
@nealeburgess67562 ай бұрын
Your story, and the stories of the people that have commented are very moving. I am so sorry that so many feel unsupported. I wish I could help. I guess one thing I can do is to be kind and patient with any friends that may behave "differently". Life can be hard. We all need to help and care for each other.
@gagehartwell77722 ай бұрын
The system in canada is garbage as well, but omg was it life changing in terms of coping. Growing up i was always told that the things i was thinking, feeling, etc, was wrong and that i was lying or something. Of course no one ever believed me, so i believed them. that being said i went years in a dysregulated state to the point of hospitalization which where they also said the things dysregulating me weren't true. I eventually found the ASD community and found that my internal world is extremely similar to theirs. Spent another 1-2 years wrestling with the idea, making changes accordingly, went to a specialist, and yep...ASD. Also ADHD and giftedness. Im an extremely high masker and something ive noticed is how may people think ASD is an intellectual disorder.
@markdigitalmarketer2 ай бұрын
I have had a late assessment of both ADHD & Autism, am still waiting for the diagnosis, all i get from family, friends, even my family doctor, is that i am label hunting, and using it as an excuse for not being able to do anything. I hate it, and all those who shoot me down about it. As it is i am suffering terrible anxiety and depression, which has left me open to being bullied all my life, im nearly 63 now.
@AKcess_Dnied2 ай бұрын
My favorite stim is to turn my body sideways, with one foot ahead of the other, and gallop through the house, keeping my wrists limp so my hands flop around. I do the galloping part with my kids so it really doesn't look too strange. I don't feel like trying to explain myself why I'm doing that with my hands or why I'm gesturing like I'm casting a spell.