i don’t recognize myself into christians.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Guys I remind u that I’m only 21. I don’t wanna hear stuff like « you’re weak », « you don’t put much efforts » etc.. you’re comment will be directly deleted :) thanks. I just started my channel, I’m just here to speak. I’m not looking for negative advices. I just need prayers and support. Thanks be blessed ❤

[@knowMe_Dr.C]

I am truly grateful you posted this sister, I am in the same szn I can attest to your claims its truly hard being one with the creator, but those who endure to the end will be blessed beyond comprehention. I learnt to keep growing your relationship in christ and constantly feed your spirit when your flesh becomes strong. It truly is tiring but the sacrifice is worth it ❤Keep fighting you've come to far to give up now

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks a lot sis ❤️

[@nototaku9029]

The Christian walk was always described as a difficult path in the Bible. I wish I could give you advise but I am stuck in sin myself and don't get my head into the Word like I should. But trust in God and His strength and His timing, cast all your troubles onto Him and rely on Him and not your own strength because you will fail on your own strength. And always pray, fast and stay in conversation with Him. Even if you don't feel like it, you should because we work by faith and not by sight. You may not see your circumstances changing but God is at work in the spiritual realm. Just be patient and don't take your eyes off of Jesus for a moment like Peter did. He sank into the water because of it (Or just ignore me if I am spouting nonsense because I am only 20 and only trying to get proper into God's word now) Praying for you and your breakthrough🙏

[@Jesus7700]

Im almost 20 but all I can say to is keep trying ignore ignorance from people. But if you want me to give you an idea of how I came to God and what you can do to grow closer to him I can tell you what I did. But also have a good day and dont give up, you are not weak I grantee you that, I do not know what you faced but dont listen to the lies of ignorant behavior.

[@Jesus7700]

@@nototaku9029if your stuck in sin its the enemy attacking your mind, he did it to me 3 years ago

[@Mambaman7771]

"I'm doing a lot of stuff I don't want to do" Paul: What I would I do not, and what I would not that I do. Paul himself failed in the flesh

[@aleph777]

Paul isn't the standard furthermore: Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Rom 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. Rom 8:3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: Rom 8:4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Rom 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. Rom 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

[@Mambaman7771]

@@aleph777 I never said Paul was the standard my friend. Jesus is the standard. But he is one of the greatest apostles, and he is citing his humanity. I was showing her that great apostles struggle too.

[@aleph777]

@@Mambaman7771 when we use humans, no matter their rank, as a measure of success or failure we make them a standard. The Gospel has the power to save, from the consequences of sin and the practice of sin. As long as we believe and speak truth we will overcome the lies of the enemy. Following the example of Christ when he was tempted in the wilderness. Sin has already been defeated, we just have to believe it and walk in that victory through the power of the Holy Spirit. Sinking is a result of unbelief and doubt. Peter was the example of this.

[@RandomComicEnjoyer]

@@aleph777 why did this need to be said? this seems very unnecessary, to be honest.

[@SmartestDumbGuy]

​@RandomComicEnjoyer I suppose he thinks he is better than Paul? Or that we use Paul alot to justify our sinful lifestyles... which he actually has a point if that is the case. I know I do that now that I think about it.

[@ThePrimusCrusader]

Christ truly saved me. I'm not perfect but he literally removed my depression, anxiety, sleep problems, food craving and many other things in a matter of days. I never had a solution to any of these things for over 15 years. I just really focused and ask for help from the Holy spirit and he delivered. I will never doubt again. I will pray for you and I will ask the Holy spirit to give you guidance and protection. Jesus also hears your prayers right now through this video.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks, glory to God for this.

[@onlyapilgrim]

Hi, just wanted to let you know that if you fall back into temptation you don’t have to doubt that Christ’s blood still covers you and he will sustain you. He delivered me from bondage to stuff too, and I testified of that to people, then felt ashamed when I fell back into the problems and sin. The conviction is good and actually a sign you are saved. But the enemy took that doubt to the next level and made me doubt my salvation. If you trust in Christ, he’s got you- your sins are as far away as the east is from the west.

[@EternalGalaxies]

Why hasn't he healed me 😞💔 Bedridden recently got COVID even worse now, abandoned by everyone I love, feels impossible to live 😭

[@quest2782]

If you can pray for me to have the same deliverance.

[@Percepta-whispe]

@@Lilasthoughtswell let me send you this video ❤

[@cantfindhim9628]

God bless you sister, this Christian life is tough but it’s so worth it to get closer with Jesus he will save us faith is so important

[@unripetheberrby6283]

It's so true... 💕💕🥺

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@unripetheberrby6283Romans 10:9-11 says, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved".

[@captainkrajick]

But don't you get saved first before walking the Christian life???

[@RedSampler]

@@captainkrajick you can be saved, walk the christian life, then fall away and not be saved.. the problem with getting into more and more details is that is where the devil is to be found as well(the devil is in the details)(we can live the pharisee lifestyle as well). if she gives her life to Jesus, and she is struggling (and that is what she is and that is what most of us do everyday(i know i am)), it doesn,t mean she is not saved. some people even walk the ''christian life'' before they find Jesus. they where not saved up to that point but they live the same way as we do now. and the struggle that they feel of what they are doing is not right. besides Jesus offer for our sinfull lifestyles there is not much difference between us and the rest of the world(hence the no man is good not one..)

[@captainkrajick]

@@RedSampler you can believe on Jesus Christ as Saviour and go to hell? Based on what, works? You're setting a horrible precedent here...

[@rebeccabox6937]

Girl… I literally know how you feel, I’ve went through something spiritually similar. When I first came to the truth of who God was, I was SO on fire for Him- i felt like I literally could not fall because of how close I was to God. Then, sin slowly started creeping in and I let it… I stopped knowing how to live for God, it’s like I knew what to do but didn’t know how to do it. I lived this way for almost 2 years. Every day I was in sin, I was doing drugs but deep down I felt depressed. I had to smoke or drink every single day to fill the void, but it was just making me more depressed. I could feel God trying to pull me back to Him, but I kept ignoring Him because I was scared to give up smoking/drinking and wouldn’t know how to stop anyway. I literally thought I was gonna be stuck in that cycle my whole life, I woke up every day depressed. I know how this feels. I know right now you may not understand, but this is actually a blessing in disguise. It means you literally cannot be truly happy unless you’re walking with God- everyday. And I’m telling you, you are going to get past this and you are going to be on fire for God again. Just the fact that you can not be happy in sin means that God has a greater call on you, and He will show you how to come back to Him. To me, I literally had to come to the complete end of myself. I couldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore, my heart turned black the further I went on without God. I was depressed without God, I was sad- lonely. I didn’t care about anything but filling this void inside of myself, and it turned me selfish. But the moment I truly cried out to God and meant it, truly acknowledging I couldn’t go on without Him, I started to draw near to Him again and He started drawing near to me. I’ve been journaling for 5 months to record everything He has been doing in my life, so I can read back and have raw evidence of His work in my life- but girl… I am telling you do not fear, God has GOT you. ❤ It will not feel like this for long, you will come back home to the Lord and you will run and not grow weary, you will be filled with joy again and NOTHING will be able to stop you ever again. In this world we will have trials, but with the spirit of the living God we are unstoppable. The enemy is under our feet “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬

[@rayashleigh494]

This made me cry This is exactly my story ;( just trying to get close again

[@rebeccabox6937]

@@rayashleigh494 Jesus loves you so much ❤️

[@SyoDraws]

Wow. This was really touching, and encouraging. Thank you. 🥲

[@poe3man394]

Its amazing everytime genuine encouragement like this is written,it lifts the spirit and gives hope. Thanks

[@unbiasedreviews6167]

@@rebeccabox6937 You need to do self deliverance. It helps.

[@volts1112]

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 "[8] Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. [9] Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. [10] That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

[@AliciaGuitar]

Powerful story that many Christians have not heard! Everyone with struggles like health or other hardships needs this! Do NOT believe the LIE that if bad things happen to you it is God punishing you! Jesus rebuked the ones who asked if a man was blind due to his own sin or his father's.

[@jersmith1486]

Amen he gives us power to overcome!

[@iblameabel]

Think logically. Are there any things in your life that may be distracting you? Or helping you to sin? Do you listen to secular music? Do you watch tv/movies that influence you? Do you speak scripture over your situation? Do you genuinely believe in the promises of God? Do you believe that Jesus Christ died for all of your sins? Jesus Christ promised eternal life, we may struggle, but if we love Jesus Christ, we will hate our sin. We will not be perfect until the day we enter into His rest. Jesus Christ said “If the world hates you, remember that they hated me first”. It is also said “wide is the path that leads to hell, many take it” a majority of the world will not align with Jesus, therefore they will not align with you. But you can still surround yourself with likeminded people. Do not idolize attention from others, isolation is important. You can say you love someone but do you even know what love is? “FLEE youthful lusts”. Do not be “faithful” to God because in the back of your head you’re hoping through that faith He will give you what you’ve wanted in your unfaithfulness. Apostle Paul said if you want to lust, to marry so you may not lust. You should read Ecclesiastes, specifically chapter 7. Read at the very least a chapter a day in the Bible, MANY Christians relate to you. Including myself. I don’t know about others specifically but I know that I yearn for an honorable death so that I may be with my Lord Jesus Christ. Apostle Paul said that to die is to gain Christ, but that there is much to do in this life. In other words, we have purpose, we are bought & paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. Please if you would hear my words. Start the New Testament & read a chapter a day. Shape any social media to expose you to Christianity. Meditate with prayer music & love God with all of your heart, mind & soul. God bless you sister & may the love of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rest upon your heart. Shalom✝️💙

[@ruvimperna5532]

Agree with everything except isolation. Isolation in prayer (private prayer) sure, but Proverbs 18:1 its not going in general to be isolated. We need to be together with fellow believers (Church: gathering of believers in Christ) your brothers and sisters in Christ help carry your burden. Find Christians that are similar in the experience your going through, and empower each other. This will make your spiritual Christian life A LOT easier, and understand how to love the real way, which will make your love complete in the Lord.

[@Max15838]

That's a lot to read

[@jayjayjayjay2995]

​​@@ruvimperna5532I agree. From what you said I remember that in Hebrews the believers in the early church did not neglect to meet each other but encouraged one another as they saw the Day draw near. In my local church our pastors always likens us to red hot coals that if we are removed from the pile of those who are on fire for God, we lose our fire as well. Such is the importance of being part of a Church, a spiritual family, being discipled, and so on.

[@WolfRhymesEntertainment]

At the end of the day if you cannot read or follow the LORD he makes it rain on the just and unjust and all have fallen short even Jesus said I am not good only God so all will have seasons trials tribulations promised land heaven and hell because after we die i believe the LORD has created infinite alternate realities after our deaths and wiped the memories of our deaths to perhaps go lower into hell or higher into heaven or into planes of existence that accept us into that world more easily. As God has separated his family the wicked only get along with the wicked and the righteous only with the righteous and this is a basic way to see it as there are many tribes of people with different ways of thinking that only get along with a certain tribe or certain tribes. Make sense?? But since all have fallen yes all stages will exist for all promised land heaven and hell. Promised land is like when Eminem first got famous and worshipped and rich and heaven is like Eminem today he has millions of fans a cult following of die hard fans but soon he will be cut like the grass and thrown into hell just like Elvis mj Tupac etc. but there are no shortcuts trials and tribulations will last and for some longer than others and some will get to the promised land first and some last but God balances out everything for everyone for all have fallen. I also believe that hell wont last forever since the word forever in Greek Aramaic could mean a very long time. As even christs reign will be forever yet it's also written only 1000 years . So all of you enjoy the journey, the curses the gifts both in heaven and hell for he never departs and always provides us both curses and gifts and gifts that come from curses. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Forgiven7x70]

@@Max15838the Bible has a lot more

[@Franklin1234LJ]

I have never found anybody on this platform that has voiced their feelings as deeply as you have which I could resonate with. This is the first video where I can confidently say I was supposed to see it. I especially resonate with the sad soul feeling, almost as if the sadness will always linger but not that it has to be a bad thing. I tend to get really philosophical and think deeply about life, and I think I've come to find a place where I can appreciate the beauty and the pain of living in this world. I may not like my human experience all the time, but that's just the way life is, full of ups and downs and sideways detours. I also appreciate that we're close in age. I'm 23 and find myself with no real friends and only a handful online or should I say acquaintances? Either way, this video has helped me to feel less alone in this life. Everything you touched on I have thought about and certainly taken time to express emotion towards. This video was truly a breath of fresh air for me. Thank you!

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks a lot … for real !! I think u will like my next video about my vulnerability on internet and what kind of human I am ! Stay tuned ❤️🥰

[@HannahS-c7s]

I know what this is like, one of my favourite Bible verses for this is Isaiah 53:3 which says He was despised and rejected- a man of sorrows acquainted with deepest grief. I sometimes feel very lonely in Christian circles (not all), because of my struggles with mental health, but I feel close to Jesus, I hope you find that too. You’re not alone, I promise ❤️‍🩹 a podcast I love is anxious faith (they’re here on KZbin) and they talk about it. I love you, Jesus loves you more xx

[@chiragrulze]

Story of my life. I was a born again Christian with the holy spirit, sharing the gospel, healing the sick in Jesus's name, but I would go to whore houses, sleep with the girls there, get drunk, go clubbing, completely depressed, attempted suicide multiple times (God even spoke to me audibly). I did those sins to numb the pain and to remove loneliness, not because I wanted to do those sins. God told me if I don't stop lusting, fornicating and masturbation, that he couldn't bless me with a wife, and health and other things. So I agreed, now by the power of God I have been clean for quite a while now,( feels like a long time). The warfare is real, but God has been faithful and delivered me from some stuff. And now I am truly growing in my relationship with Jesus.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks for your testimony it gaves me hopes thanks a lot :)

[@EternalGalaxies]

How did the sick get healed I need healing and a miracle am bedridden with spinal cord injury 🤕😞😭💔

[@ReapingTheHarvest]

You know being "born again" is simply through water baptism, right? Protestantism wasn't a thing until 500 years ago and they make up all sorts of false doctrines. Seek the Church that Jesus established 2k years ago. Hint: it's the one that the world hates the most.

[@Hemmurn568]

@@EternalGalaxies I'll Pray for you :D

[@TheLordOfHeavensArmies]

​@@EternalGalaxies Don't doubt God, he will heal you ! 🙏

[@nellyy-y]

I am also trying to grow my relationship with God, I struggle sometimes :( I also want to be baptized.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Don’t worry God is there honey❤️

[@josiepye]

U go girl❤

[@nellyy-y]

thank you💕

[@JoyOfTheLORD.]

We are, first and foremost, baptized in the name of the LORD, Jesus Christ. The Spirit of the LORD is Who baptizes us into the resurrection of our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ. May the LORD open up a door to allow you all to display your faith through water baptism, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[@Dreamworld789_]

Beautiful baby, don’t ever feel like it’s too hard, it may seem like that with the wrap of fear. But know God is the better side of all things. He will always have you.

[@ChefJones96]

I almost died a few day ago in a car accident. Only God knows why He delivered me but what I learned was life can be over in a moment and life can begin in a moment. Choose to look for the good in each moment you have with yourself, friends, loved ones. Laugh, eat good food, love with all of your heart, don’t hold back, and remember that God is with you and that He will always have the final say. Do not be afraid to live and be happy you have suffered enough. You have suffered enough. Via con dios amen!

[@Angel-oc6vv]

Oh my goodness, glory to GOD you're still here 🥺🫶🏽

[@FxckitsaK9]

Hi, I was in the same situation as you however, I have never been in a relationship. I was impatient in finding a woman for me that was good. There were many females to choose from at the place I was working, but I thought, "This isn't the right place to find one". One day I was very depressed because I had no woman in my life and I felt like I would die alone without one, but in the middle of my pain I heard the voice of The Hole Spirit say "I love you". That reminded me that even though I might think that being loved by a significant other is great, however being loved by God is a much greater feeling. I learned that we shouldn't be impatient with love because the most loving person is right next to us and that, unlike people who love you, they might choose to leave but God will never choose to. Also, being single is a blessing to you for you have more time for God and growing that relationship with him. I hope this helped, I love you and God loves you more. God bless.

[@johnt5015]

I’m struggling in the same boat. Being an authentic Christian is the hardest venture anyone can bear. Praying for you sister. God bless ❤

[@joshuadunham3018]

Hard, but with guaranteed victory at the end of it for those who don't give up! Hebrews 10:36-39 "36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.” 38 And, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.” 39 But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved."

[@user-pi7eh9sk6u]

I think it was no accident that I came across your video, you are smart, and the fact that you cried when you did bad things I think shows that you have the Holy Spirit inside, I have a bit of a similar situation, I wish you to recover and get up back again!

[@niam519]

I totally understand you. I’ve been going through loneliness even giving my life to Christ! Recently I just gave my life to Christ and along with that is losing soo many people that aren’t mentally aligned with you and will even probably hold you back. I would cry and ask the lord to show me who will stay and who will go and more kept going. I would cry and ask the lord to bring people into my life. As of right now it looks like nothing has happened. I had to realize I need to put (what I feel is the big three asking God for something) TRUST, FAITH, and PATIENCE. I understand it can be so hard, everyday out minds are coming at us. One thought to another. But once you build that trust faith and patience in the lord, so much will come. And please remember!- Most of the time when you’re not seeing progress or seeing your questions being answered, the Lord is saying it’s not TIME for that. So as for you what I’m seeing is that, the Lord wants you to focus on building your relationship with him first!! I hope you can understand may God bless you 🩵🩵

[@kathleenb6120]

I’m going through a similar season where I’m crying every day and having trouble with anger towards God. Encouraging things for me that I’ve held onto have been the psalms and job. Psalms 91 and 42 have been my go-tos. Hope things start getting better for you.

[@5301vangie]

I agree that it has been a real life and death struggle out here. I am afraid of doing something out of frustration and urgency to cope issues. I don't really blame God just myself because I am failing him so bad of being this weak and not fulfilling his purpose myself. geez I don't even know what is my purpose.

[@EanTheMessenger]

The best thing to do is to give it to god. Doesn’t matter how small or how big it is god will help rebuild you. One of my favorite verses is proverbs “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” A lot of times it’s like a feeling of god has let me down and he doesn’t love me and it’s not the case. I encourage you to have Christ come more into your life, and trust in Christ and have FAITH in him through your storms and tribulations. Keep going and keep having faith. ❤

[@birch8109]

I really like Psalm 42

[@JesusOrDestruction]

Stop blaming God for your problems and take some accountability

[@Raff1469]

Read the Psalm 23. Don't be angry at God, but give it to Him in prayer. Tell Him He can have your anger and to take it away. Ask for peace. It will help you.

[@KaijuKing117]

This is so real. I just moved to a new town for a job. I felt a ton of loneliness and depression through it. But I have also found myself reaching for God more than I ever have due to the despair. It has started mature and strengthen my quiet time with God. Praying for you. God is always chasing after you.

[@davidm5415]

as a Christian going through an similar set of circumstances, something I've learned to understand is that the suffering will never stop, and that's a good thing. Allow the suffering to bring you closer to God, not farther away from him. We can see the application of this through stories of martyrs. even though they experienced exponentially worse suffering than we do, they set their hearts on God even when they were taking their last breath. Give your pain, your tears, your heartache and brokenness to Jesus, and he will give you all that you need. I've been alone for a long time. I had a long distance relationship for 3 years but we never met and it ended very poorly. As each day passes, my heart longs for a partner, but I know God intends for me to stay single for the time being. A verse comes to mind after watching your video. Matthew 6:33 - KJV: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Don't give up, Jesus loves you no matter what you're going through.

[@lm-qk5og]

Thank you for posting this. 😊

[@ComfeeMug]

It is a challenge to feel emptiness when you try very hard to seek the Lord. At times, there can be long periods of time where you feel alone when you are trying to spend time with God; almost like you feel more isolated when you try to seek Him than you did while you weren't seeking Him. And I could be wrong, but after watching your video, it sounds like you are going through a time like that where you feel alone the more you seek God. That the attention you got before you were seeking God is now gone when you do seek Him. And that feeling is something a lot of Christians go through. I myself went through that for years. I don't say that to discourage you, but instead to encourage you; to help you understand that you are not alone in this feeling of loneliness while seeking God. That many people go through the same feeling in their walk with God. It doesn't feel good in the moment, but I can tell you that once you get through this time of testing (if you continue to persevere and seek God each day), your connection with God and faith in Him will be much stronger for it. It does take time, it takes endurance to continue seeking Him even though you don't feel close to Him when you do, but you will be glad that you did continue to seek Him when you come out of this time. This struggle you are going through sounds like you are at war with yourself. I think this kind of struggle is described best by the apostle Paul when he says, "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep doing," (Romans 7:19). In this verse, and the verses surrounding it Paul talks about how he is struggling against his desire to do the things he knows are wrong. And when he does those wrong things, he knew it was wrong as he was doing it, and he feels guilt and shame and grief. And I think you described that you have felt the same way when you would do something you knew you shouldn't have done. I feel the same way when I do things I know are wrong and sinful. And I think that is a good thing to feel, because that means the the Holy Spirit is in you, helping you know what is right and what is wrong. For it is also written in Hebrews 12:6 that, "...the Lord disciplines the one He loves..." The fact that you are feeling this struggle when you sin is proof that God is with you and giving you an understanding of what sin is and how it hurts. And it hurts more now that you are a Christian than it did when you weren't because God is opening your eyes to the cost of sin. The cost of sin is high, but it is not paid immediately after we sin. No, sin is like debt; we don't pay the price right away. But the price of sin is an eternal death, and when you confess your sin and ask Jesus for the forgiveness and to be your God and savior, He is faithful to pay the price of sin for you. You are washed clean of all your debt, and He welcomes you with loving arms. And He asks that you change your sinful ways, just as He asks all of His believers to do. But Jesus also knows that it is very hard to resist sin and temptation, and that is why He offers His grace to us. And as long as we do our best to sin no more, when we do inevitably sin, Jesus says we will be forgiven for that sin as well if we ask, and He will continue to help us in our journey. And it is a journey, much like you have experienced already. When we become a Christian; a believer in Christ Jesus, yes, our debt is paid, and yes, we are then called sons and daughters of God. This is true. But what is also true is that our enemy the devil will spend more time trying to hurt us and cause us to sin. The book of Job in the Bible comes to mind when I think of how the devil tries to attack those who believe in God. In this book, it is written that satan speaks with God and tell Him that God's most loyal and faithful follower, Job, wouldn't be so faithful to God if God was not so generous to Job. For God had blessed Job with much wealth, money, and a big and wonderful family. So satan said, "You have blessed the works of his (Job's) hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse You to Your face," (Job 1:10-11). Here, satan tells God that he believes Job would turn against God if God took away all that Job owned. And God allowed satan to take away all of Job's possessions as well as all of Job's children, but even though Job was in grief and torn apart by his despair in losing his children and all that he owned, he still gave thanks and praised God. Satan would then afflict Job with terrible sours on his body that stung and built up puss, and would never heal, yet he still praised God. Even Job's wife told him to curse God, but Job did not. Because Job understood something very simple, but very important: "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord," (Job 1:21). Job was not perfect, however, and after a long time of suffering, he would challenge God and ask Him why He had destroyed His loyal servant (referring to himself). And to Job's surprise, God showed Himself to Job in a vast sequence of wonders, asking Job if he can describe the ways of God and see and understand all of His wonders. It is an amazing display of God's immense power and and majesty, and I would highly recommend you read it if you would like (the chapter is Job 38 and on), but after a very long time of Job suffering and waiting, God not only answers him, but also restores to Job more than what he had lost. And I bring up this story because it is very true that God does let us go through very difficult times. God lets us be lonely and be in pain for a time. But it is all for the purpose of His kingdom and His glory. And at a first glance, that can sounds kind of selfish of God; to let His followers suffer for His name's sake. But at a closer look, we gain the understanding that through our suffering we may be made strong. Though sorrow, we gain compassion for others who are filled with sorrow. Through pain, we gain empathy for those who are hurting. Through injustice, we can stand up for those who have been treated unjustly. And through loneliness, we can know how to be there for those who are lonely. And I believe that if you persevere through this time of loneliness and struggle that you are going through, and if you position your heart so that you will do your best to honor God in all that you do and seek His glory above yours, He will lift you up and give you all that you need when the time comes. For it is written, "For I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13). And it is also written, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen," ( 1 Peter 5:6-11). And still, it is written, "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you," (Matthew 6:31-33). I apologize, this message is pretty long, but I offer these verses for you to read and think about if you would like. I am sorry you are going through a difficult time and are struggling. I will be praying for you and your journey, that you may be encouraged, that God will give you rest from your suffering as well as strength to persevere, and that God will help you find people who are also seeking God in faith so that you may surround yourself with believers who will encourage you and welcome you with love and grace. I have one more verse for you, and then I will put a link to a sermon that may encourage you further if you would like to listen to it. But the verse is this: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing," (James 1:2-4). This is a link to a sermon on KZbin by Voddie Baucham, titled "The World, the Flesh, and the Devil" that talks about the trials and temptations that we face, where they come from, and how to resist sin. I hope you find the time to listen to it, but even if not, I hope you get some rest, and I will be praying for you. God bless you. "The World, the Flesh, and the Devil" sermon link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j5LNaKd4jpeIfassi=PAHDsFYwjM-VS4SD

[@APlaceBeyondGoodAndEvil]

You are speaking from my soul. I've been asking the same questions for many years and I'm still waiting. I'm reading Job a lot, especially God's answer to him, it offers me a strange comfort. When you've been away from Jesus for a long time you've also attracted people that are away from Him. Now that you feel alone it only means you are healing, even though it may seem like the complete opposite. It hurts going through the narrow road but focus on yourself, being better every day. Don't worry too much about not sinning, because one way or another you are going to sin, we all do it, no matter how 'holy' one may seem. We are not perfect. You don't take a shower because you are clean and also taking a shower takes a while. What is important is to realize that you are sinning and then do your best to not do it, or at least limit it as much as you can. It's so easy to preach for someone about something they have and you don't, you almost don't believe them. The suffering is always there, we all carry our crosses. God doesn't make things easier, He makes you stronger. I'm doing all the same things as you mentioned and still waiting, it seems endless. I doubt my faith sometimes, but I always come back to Jesus, or do my best to come back. Verses like 1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind" don't help me much anymore. Try to find a good Christian community and hopefully you will find someone there who will help you carry your cross, as you can do the same.

[@onlyapilgrim]

Isaiah 42 especially verse 3 is a great encouragement to me. “A bruised reed he will not break and a dimly burning wick he will not extinguish.” He is so gentle and patient that even if you are a barely smoldering fire he will sustain you and keep you and help you know him more.

[@gamerboyathome]

I've been dealing with a lot of the same things myself lately... specifically the struggle it takes to do the right things, and that feeling when you know that you're sinning and you feel powerless against that sin... for me that lasted four years. I was 10 when I got on fire for God for the first time, and things were great in that first year. Then I kinda drifted, all because of a video game addiction. For four years I was stuck in that cycle, being a lukewarm Christian... I never read my Bible... never worshipped... never even prayed because I felt so guilty to come to God knowing that I had been a terrible Christian, especially towards the end of those four years when I started getting overcome by lust. It was only a little more than a year ago when I gave everything to Jesus, and it was only with His strength that I was able to overcome my gaming addiction and lust addiction. And since then... I've been doing much better than before, but it's been kinda tough. A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass on the floor and it shattered into a million tiny fragments. I yelled and criticized myself heavily over it... even though I should have known well by then that criticizing myself only makes the matter worse. And I mean it's definitely frustrating to find yourself falling in the same failures repeatedly for more than a year. But then you stop to look at these Christian influencers who spread the gospel and teachings as if it's second nature to them and you realize: They've probably been through everything we went through and were no better Christians than we were at the time. We all just have to keep on enduring through these trials. Keep on reading your Bible, keep on worshiping, and keep on talking to Him. The worst decision that I ever made in my life was giving up such a great relationship with our loving Creator for video games. My daily Bible verse for the 11th of July was this: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) Lust battles and anxiety feelings and depressive waves are still going to come, but with God's strength, he can help us to overcome it all. I'm praying for you!

[@appleantonio1220]

Come to Holy Orthodoxy☦☦🙏🙏

[@Offlineee_]

This honesty is so needed in the Christian community and it’s so refreshing I really appreciate you for this video 💗 Accepting Jesus and staying with him for so long truly comes with struggles And I do believe the Bible warns of this too 😂

[@iamnotheretostay8277]

Girly we need to be friends. I am sitting here so emotional right now. I am going through something so similar and it’s uncanny how much I related to the things you said. I really appreciate you for posting this.

[@EloraSelah]

Same here I am weeping hearing this. Coz I am struggling so much n feel like a failure to God. A waste of a creation.

[@itspumpkinspiceszn]

​@@EloraSelahGod loves you and He will forever be by your side no matter how you feel or what you are going through

[@AliciaGuitar]

23:45 - delivered from anger in just 2 years is HUGE! Many ppl try their whole lives and never succeed. That is a great start, probably the hardest. It will lay a foundation you can lean on when you struggle with your other temptations. God bless you! Sorry I comment so much but you remind me of me 20 years ago ❤

[@MaximusAugustusOrthodox]

Gos bless you and your loved ones ❤ Glory to Christ ☦️

[@proddark-cq7wz]

I been goin through a whole bunch of stuff myself. Getting baptized was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, despite still struggling in my relationship with Jesus. I wish you the very best on your journey and encourage you to keep going. The people close to you need you, and vice versa. God Bless 🙏

[@214arnas]

I'm glad i've seen this, similar position to yours, I'm 23, had a amazing encounter with Jesus while taking some substances, in Nov 2022 and all of last year I was just on fire for God, I started running, I was running as my kind of spiritual discipline, I was still taking some drugs but I can honestly say it was not an issue, I would eat really good, still run, working full time etc. I'd put it down for a few months and go back and I had such amazing experiences taking substances that even now I can say that, even after like 7 months sober. But at the start of this year I just kind of hit a.... wall, like I lost my fire, I went into complete darkness for like 2 months, I was starting to pray a lot more, he was revealing himself more and more, and I feel like this something that's really common tbh. Everyone struggles in their own way, God puts everyone through different struggles, physically, to allow us to grow spiritually, it's the only thing that makes sense to me. I definitely relate to this feeling of luke-warmness The world doesn't give us a reason to follow God, but we need to perserve through it. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

[@sliceddorito3229]

This is so real. Us Christians are really thankful for those keeping it real and not just the good side. We need more people talking about this stuff and not the sunshine and rainbows all the time. I have felt similar in a lot of the areas you talked about and can relate so much. Thanks for this video and keep putting content out❤ The struggle is real 😅

[@2Fast2Furiouso]

Romans 6:3 “Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?” Don’t be discouraged sister, God is not idle in your suffering or unfamiliar with pain. Peace of Christ be with you and anyone who reads this.

[@theyloveanay8113]

Is that good or bad than to be baptized?

[@2Fast2Furiouso]

@@theyloveanay8113 Yes this particular verse is not to be interpreted negatively (obviously I used it alone without the rest of the context) that the baptism we receive and anointing of the spirit we receive signifies the death of our old selves and our beginning in the new lives made possible by the grace of Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross. To put to an end what impairs our relationship with God in the flesh, and to do what is holy in the spirit.

[@_jampa]

What a hidden gem this channel is! Thanks for sharing your thought with us. Jesus found me about dec 2022, and this has been such a hard path, but I will never look back to what I was and miss it. God touches us in such a way we just see the world through diferent lenses - His lenses - and it's not just about being healed from depression, anxiety or anything. I struggle with those, and I am sure God could take those away. It's about His glory, His kingdom and the love He shares with all of His children. I will live through these problems because He is by my side, and I am sure all these struggles are here to prove His presence. God bless sis!

[@kenedyrocks1]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm going through something similar right now. And I understand the frustration and confusion and pain. I, too, was so filled with the Holy Spirit after being saved, but now a year after being saved, I've never been more depressed or filled with s**de thoughts because I feel alone with family and friends (only christian in my circle). I too began to pray for love, a husband because I thought: "At least then, I won't be alone." Then when I had mistakenly convinced myself that everything was falling to deaf ears, I too slowly went back to sin- which only made me walk away from Him more. I also got frustrated seeing the "perfect" walks of others, not in jealousy, like you said, but in confusion like "maybe I'm missing something? I'm doing something wrong?" I even started to doubt my salvation because whenever I searched for an explanation to what I was feeling, the answer always seemed to be: "you aren't a real christian". (so i really appreciate you sharing your video) The changing point for me was one moment where I was picturing myself surrounded by a pile of garbage (my frustrations, fears, addictions, thoughts, dreams) and Jesus stood in front of me. I just started throwing my garbage at Him, saying: "This is mine, I'll take care of it from now on, because I don't think You care anymore. So, leave me alone." I am so grateful He hears our hearts and not our words, because He knew what I truly meant was that I was hurt, I was blinded by anger and so so so tired. And He just walked toward me, no matter what I threw at Him. I felt His hug in that moment... and even then, I still wanted Him off, saying things like: "It's too late now." It didn't matter, He didn't leave, and I'm so grateful He didn't. Now I'm focusing on falling in love with Him again, it's a slow process. It doesn't feel as smooth as when He first walked in and filled me with His Spirit, but what's important is that we keep coming back to Him. Now I want to focus more on getting to know Him and not talk too much about me hahaha. A verse that helps me whenever I'm starting to feel overwhelmed is Psalm 94:19. It brings me so much peace and reminds me that my thoughts aren't greater than Him, which calms me down. I pray it helps you, too. "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy" - NIV In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul. - KJV Psalm 94:19

[@carlosmedina4532]

Man this hit deep I feel the same way I feel In a constant cycle with sin and I don’t know what to do anymore

[@keldenstewart3945]

I relate with you when you said that someone was delivered from committing a sin after three months, and you asked when will be my time. I was struggling with masturbating to porn and I did it for 7 years, until Jesus saved me and I was born again, but then I still struggled for 2 and half more years, continually committing that sin. But God was with me helping me through it all, and I just remember that God will bring my salvation and that He promised to me that I will be free from it, so that keeps me going. Now I currently have gone 17 days without it, the most I have done within that span of 2 and half years was 29 days, so I’ve almost gone the longest without it that I’ve ever done. So just remember that God is with you and that whatever you are going through, God has a ultimate plan of goodness and love for you. Keep fighting!

[@shaddjimenez4524]

You guys need to find a good church!

[@shaddjimenez4524]

Good fellowship, discipleship, and mentoring

[@SamBroZILLA]

Hey Lila, Shout out from London UK here. Listen I am a Christian but not righteous or committed as biblically by any stretch of the imagination. You see, 2023 last year was quite tough, i went through something quite similar to you where a friend of mine knows this girl who liked me in my area we live and as I am a born again christian I mostly started off being friends and after we just got more interested in seeing each other. We had very similar taste and interest. A similar upbringing too. I'm quite the introvert and she happened to be more extroverted but one thing that was a little off at the time is when opening myself a little bit more on my christian faith she would emphasise on being christian also but then she would add in astrology into the conversation and as Open-minded and patient I was I knew something was a little off and I realise when we were being a little more intimate I kinda got many messages from her about how other couples were. And I remember she wasn't sure why I wasn't as caring or optimistic about it and I told her my truthful thought that I am someone who puts god first in the relationship she really thought I was being uncaring and said that i wasn't valuing someone like her. I just remembered praying at the time because I felt deception in how she was coming across even though she gets on with people I knew in my life she couldn't understand why god came first for me so I broke up with her after 4 months and it's bothersome trying to tell people why but I know that in john 15 verse 18 it says If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own. Because you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Sometimes we have to deny yourself for christ and it's never easy. Hell sometimes I blame social media for this overstuffed, almost manipulative and misplaced way some people present themselves as. But trust me when I say Jesus's actions helps me to see the good and bad outcomes without realising I dodge a bullet on that (not a trump reference btw as I don't care much for politics 😅) Don't feel down that you have doubts in yourself. Just pray in the noton of biblical obedience and no matter how turbulent life becomes know that the love god has intercedes with all that dwell onto him. 🙏🏾 I'll pray for you to gain much needed insight and clarity ❤ God bless for this video.

[@YeshuaIsTheWay146]

I feel you sis!! I appreciate you being vulnerability with us. I struggled with falling off of my walk, and even now im struggling in different areas. Something that was a big struggle for me, was that I would pray and read my Bible, but I didn't do nor pay heed through my actions with what I was reading. It's hard and though we may not see instant gratification for our actions, but over time as we continue to sow to the spirit and perservering in doing good, we will reap a harvest when we don't give up. Its a promise we have from God Himself (Galatians 6:9). I struggled because I felt like i wasn't seeing the results i wanted to either, but through pushing through and still trying to pursue those disciplines of prayer and reading and seeking out to obey His Torah through my actions (the actions i was previously lacking) it does get easier and easier and things can turn around when you don't even expect it. And your soul even starts to desire Holiness again more and more! Please don't lose heart, sanctification is a process, deliverance is a process and we do and probably will stumble in many ways and may not recieve healings in the speed or way we're wanting. But know for all things God has a plan, and sometimes rather than taking something away, we may be put in situations where those characteristics will be built within us. And sometimes our afflictions are used as a means to keep us humble and reliant upon His strength. But God can and will uphold us and help us, and regardless of our mometary afflictions, God has prepared for us a glory that far outweighs them all (1 Corinthians 4:18), and that even if we dont see how something will come to pass, it *will* work out for our good as we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:18, 8:28)

[@strong678]

Thank you so much for sharing ❤️ Beloved sister ❤️

[@Lilasthoughts]

You are so welcome❤️

[@VictorTAnderson]

The part at 11:29 hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you, sis. I needed to hear that today. ☀

[@Joshuaking..]

That was one the realest videos I’ve heard! I’ve been going through a lot of the same stuff you talked about. I’m going to be praying for you to be healed of anything you might be going through

[@Ezzykeel]

9.30 onward is pure gold. Youre lovely. Thank you for this video. I resonate with you and understand your views perfectly. Have felt the same way many times.

[@ennuiam]

what youre going thru im going thru, what ive got out of it - all will be fine, well get through this. you may feel like youre disappointing God but he understands your struggles. growing is painful but thats what God wants for us, because he loves us so much. you are not alone Lila. im your brother in christ also bearing the pain of the flesh. a quick side note : im neurodivergent im currently unemployed, rotting in my room 24/7 pretty much, no mates, never experienced what its like to be in a relationship tho im 20yo. i do however hit the gym and i have a fair dinkum physique thats atleast something productive i do throughout the day. but besides that i hate my current life, my days are overflown with negativity - avolition, emptiness... but God is merciful and is giving me days of peace, a moment to catch my breath in, a sigh of relief. so thank you lord. bottom line is faith. even tho it feels rough and everlasting. God has a promise for us and it WILL come to pass. even with lingering doubts dont give up the faith. keep pushing. i hope these words were a source of hope. stay blessed you lot.

[@UhOhStevie]

Fasting and praying is what’s needed ❤️‍🔥

[@Carribla]

I wouldn't say fasting is what's needed, if that's how you want to do it so be it but you don't need to fast. Prayer for sure though

[@UhOhStevie]

@@Carribla Prayer along with fasting will break so many chains and strongholds. Fasting is an anointed time when the Holy Spirit cleanses and refreshes us…. “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;” Ephesians 5:18

[@Carribla]

@@UhOhStevie sounds more like being sober. I'm not saying you can't fast, but it's not NEEDED. It's not a requirement. If you want to do it good for you.

[@JordanCantFight]

@@UhOhStevieim pretty sure fasting is supposed to teach you discipline and strength in order to be able to deny your flesh.

[@UhOhStevie]

@@JordanCantFight it’s does.. makes you more sensitive to the Spirit

[@radiobell920]

I'm going to be praying for you. I was baptised when I was 10 and when I got a little older (around 16) I fell directly into sin. It got close to too far gone and it was right before I crossed the line that God called me back to discipleship with his son. I was still lukewarm for a little bit but devoted myself fully again three months ago. But it feels like a year, those three months have been SO hard. But it is all for a reason. I know exactly what you're going through. But I won't tell you what you need. At the very least, always remember and have peace that It puts a smile on Jesus face that you have chosen to walk with him vs Sin, The world, and the enemy. It won't last. Jesus IS the way, the right way, the only way. Love you sister, see you in heaven.

[@swstephens]

this was the most beautifully vulnerable and raw video i have seen in a long time. thank you so much for sharing and making so many of us feel less alone in our walk with Christ. May the Holy Spirit strengthen you in this season and give you encouragment to push forward regardless of any setback. Love you sister❤

[@danteleonel9047]

Hello lila, im from Brazil, and i relate very deeply with your video, i firstly must congratulate you on the sheer ammount of courage and dedication in your video, may god bless you and your family and loved ones. I belive a great problem with people, specially christians of this new age, is that they have this idea that all roads to christ are suppose to be the same, i belive this is due to the way our lifes and social bonds have severely degraded over time, but they always tell you to "pray harder" "stop thinking about it" "read the scripture" and all those things, but they never HEAR your struggles! and thats where the problem lies with most people struggling in this confusing age. We miss people, we miss having trustworthy people, we miss having religious leadership and wiseman who could guide us into a closer path to god. Christ is always leading his flock, but some sheep are so distant from one another, that even when a sheep is being led by our lord, they cant see each other, or just look at sheeps closer to the Son of god, and feel isolated. I will not tell you to pray, as you said, you have been doing it and patience will be a virtue in this path But i tell you to take a closer look at the people around you, reach out (if possible) to like-Minded people struggling with faith and all manners of sin and repetence. You should look into the life of the saints, andd see how they overcame their temptations and struggles you should start treating your soul kindly, giving help to charity, Making peace with those around you, cultivating and apreciating the small blessing of each day God loves patience a lot, when he made the world, all of the most beautiful things are made and build slowly. Find ways to nurture virtues in your heart and gratitude God be with you sister! from brazil

[@gentledov3]

thank you for posting this. it feels like God was trying to speak to me through this video. I struggle with a similar thing: confusing lust and love. I just want to be appreciated for who I am but Jesus already does that. My sister, you are so loved by Jesus. So much more than you can imagine. I hope one day I will be able to accept it. I just feel like I don't deserve his love. I don't understand why he would love someone like me. I feel guilty that he loves me so much. Yet, I don't know how to ever return it. I don't think I ever will be able to. I don't know. thank you for this video. it really spoke to me. I pray you realize the love you are looking for is right in front of you. I hope you find it. God bless you sister.

[@GiovanniAuditore]

I relate with almost 100% of what you said in this video and I'm also in the exact same position as you. It's incredible really, I feel like God thrust this video into my life to show me that people are going through the same thing as me. And I might have some advice that might help but I'm not certain. (My Testimony) A quick background. I'm 26, I came to Christ when I was 24, after a really bad marijuana addiction and having a really directionless life. Grew up in a non practicing Muslim household but was a vehement atheist since I was a kid. But always curious and inquisitive and always looked for answers and the marijuana lifestyle lead me down false religions and spiritualism, and I became a Gnostic Christian. Realised how wrong that was and came to a cross roads, either continue in sin as a Gnostic or put it all away and accept the true Christ. And so I flushed my stash and tried to come clean to a person I wronged really badly because I no longer wanted to be a liar. Long story short, the Holy Spirit spared me the life shattering pain that would have occurred, by that person forgiving me and not wanting to hear what I did to them. I cried and hugged them and in that moment I was born again. After that I became a borderline monk, I stopped sinning 99%, sold a lot of my positions like my PS4 and donated all my metal music shirts and so on. I read the New Testament twice and the first five books of Moses in my first couple months as a Christian. I heard street preachers in my city and I joined them and became one myself, went to two different Churches twice a week, emptied my bank account feeding the homeless, fasted for days, handed out bibles in a Muslim country, and was baptised in my 3rd month with Christ. But it all changed after that. I was on fire for Christ but I'm ashamed to say my faith only lasted 3 and a half months. The second I was baptised Satan attacked me like a truck! It felt like my faith was completely drained from my body the second I rose from the water and the rest of the day was spiritual torture, I could no longer feel the Holy Spirit in me. I recovered a little for a few weeks feeling my faith come back but then I heard some lies about the bible and believed them. At that point my faith was gone and I fell completely back into my old ways, which is where I am now. I still believe in Christ and have faith in Him to save me, but faith without works is dead, is what I keep telling myself. (TL;DR) (My Advice) I jumped completely into the deep end and was too strict with my walk with Christ too soon and it didn't last long. My advice, what I've come to realise and heard from others, is that you shouldn't feel bad that you're not completely holy all the time, every second. It's hard not to feel guilty but sin is a habit that's really hard to break and it takes a life time to become a holy child of Christ. Find the smallest sin you commit and the easiest to stop, and focus on that. Bit by bit, try to make a habit of stopping your easiest sinful behaviour and take as much time as you need (months/years) then move onto the next sin to conquer. Slowly build your holiness. And you might think you're lukewarm all the time, but it's better than doing nothing at all. Over a long period of time your faith will grow again and your sin will shrink. Keep repenting, and move slowly away from sin, DON'T torture yourself. I hope this helped even just a little, and I've prayed for you, and myself lol. Sending much love. God bless you and Christ be with you always Amen. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” - The Parable of the Lost Son

[@astridmavoungoudh489]

you have no idea of how much your video made me feel less alone in less than an 1H, may Jesus bless you and protect you !!

[@skalias815]

I totally relate to your struggles, especially feeling like you are missing something that other Christians seem to have. I struggle with a lot of mental health issues that dictate my life. I have also wondered why have I not been delivered yet. For instance I really love watching other people testimonies because it encourages me but at the same time I feel worse because I don’t have those miraculous changes or deliverance. I have been lukewarm for most of my Christian walk as well and sometimes I think I only try to get close to God because I am afraid of being cast out. I would say I love God but then I am confused by the fact that my actions show otherwise. I pray and cry out to God often but also feel like he is silent. It definitely feels like a never ending cycle that discourages me from getting closer to God. However I have no desire to ever leave God, I know that the small moments where I feel him it’s just such a security that I feel. I just feel so safe with God, like a father protecting his child type of feeling. Those moments are rare but precious to me. I am still in this struggle like you, so I totally get it. It can feel lonely and it can sometimes feel like we have to put up an act as Christians, to show that everything is okay when it’s not.

[@briaa503]

Thank you so much for your vulnerability love. Thank you for saying what most don’t say. Know that although you do the things you don’t want to do God sees the posture of your heart. He knows you better than you know yourself. Thank you for continuing in the faith and following God even though your circumstances would tell you to do otherwise. God is so compassionate and he is with those whose hearts are broken and whose spirits are crushed. Surrender yourself to God. You deserve to be at the feet of Jesus ♥️ Sending love!

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks a lot, this means a lot to me love ❤️ take care God bless u

[@shps8609]

For all the struggle that I have been through the biggest killer of my devotion to our Lord is isolation. Find a local church to really be a part of. Connect with the body, submit to a spiritual authority and use discernment to find a place that is active in the faith and theologically sound. Take heart and have hope. Jesus knows your suffering and sees your heart, do what he commands.

[@TheWayFollower777]

I am 19 but I have experienced very very similar things as you, from being on fire early in my devotions to Christ(2years now) and to the struggle in the winter. What has helped me move forward was truly searching for Christ. Through searching I found Christ in the Orthodox Church, and there, we don’t act like the struggle and suffering doesn’t exist but we are actively acknowledging of it and embrace the struggle in order to over come it. If the way we came to Christ is at all similar then I understand that you might not agree with many things that the Orthodox Church teaches. At first I wasn’t, but after researching I found Christ. Only in the Orthodox Church will they tell you through your struggles are you being saved, because you are joining Christ in His struggles here on earth. We aren’t complete. Not yet, but we are ever striving after it. Stay strong God Bless you and have mercy on you. I hope you will be doing well!!!☦️☦️☦️

[@SBailawhitee]

I am such a lukewarm Christian as well girl, I’m a struggling addict, stripper, and people pleaser. Girl God will meet you where you are, he knows you the best. You have a lot of knowledge. Praying for you, I will. You have a friend in me, never will I Judge you. I am where you are. He is allowing this, bc look your video even helped me. God with you always ❤ I even got to the point where I questioned my faith, I would be angry with God and walk away. But I always kept getting pulled back but my sin would become too much. I felt I dug myself a hole.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Oh honey, thanks for your comments, you’re a strong girl and I love you. If you need to talk I’m there ❤ take care

[@freddykrueger7406]

I’m going thru the same things you’re going thru. I think a lot of us are going thru it but are too afraid to say. The way I deal with it is just my family. Every time I go visit them, I forget about my problems and even when I think about my problems, I don’t think of them too big because my family and God gives me strength to overcome it. I hope you stay in peace but keep in mind, Gods people suffers. It not always sunshine and rainbows.

[@steinengelberts]

God bless you, accept his love.

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks a lot, i have to

[@michaelazariah73]

My name is michael im 39 I been a christian ✝️ since I'm 28 even though is been very hard the rewards I've being holier peaceful joyful happier despite the sufferings being in heaven one day will be worth it the amazing things that waits us there ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@assistantprincipalladie5193]

Ur so amazing for posting this, a lot of people talk about being with Chirst, and how it’s loving which of course it is .but never go into the deeper parts of it, the crying, the feeling lost, and away from God, and falling into sin I know God will continue to heal me and you as well, but we will all get thru it, when the time of judgement comes, I pray we can go get closer to God and he keeps us.

[@mersonyhester1400]

Hey girly I hear your message god isolates us from others to grow more that’s what he did for me and I also want to say I’m also struggling with some temptations, it takes time especially with god to overcome those completely, but keep going on your journey with god and never give up, and also you are loved and finding someone like you on this app is relieving to see that I at least have some relatability with someone, it feels like no understands me but since i discovered what god truly has for me there was a sense of some peace but I’m still struggling with that but there are also some testimonies that I have watched that have inspired me so much to keep going especially god himself, my testimony isn’t done yet. And this video is little inspiring cuz what you were saying were some of my thoughts as well, but I have all faith god will change me for the better and you to your in my prayers if you ever want to talk more about faith then give a heads up I’m here it might sound weird cuz I’m just sum stranger but i see were you are coming from, and know that you aren’t alone on this journey 😊

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks a lot for your comments I truly appreciate it

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

@@Lilasthoughts Hey believer, I’m 51. Saved again 6 yrs ago. First time, I was 8 yrs old. I recognized myself in you. I also felt little to nothing at 21 from God, or for God. We have 2 predestined futures, already designed for us. One as a believer, the other as a denier. God uses us according to our personality traits, our spiritual abilities, our desires, and our choice to believe or not. I’ve been used by God ( in my blindness) to try and intervene in someone’s condemnation, by being a loving partner. I only failed because she left. She gave up trying. She accepted the world, instead of God. She fought her desires to sin too. In the end, she chose to go to war with God, because she thought her desires in this life were more important than Gods will for her. You do have a desire to serve God, but you just haven’t lived your purpose yet. Let God be your purpose, and use you in the freedom of non-destructive ways. Protect your way back to God in the future. But live your life according to what you think is right for you. Addictions are never good for anyone. I found my ex to be my addiction. But also my secret purpose God had planned for me. I now understand more, and I look back in wonder over my life. I see the miracles now, but I wouldn’t have had those Miracles any other way, than just living a good life, the way I chose to. ( my personality) The threat of an early death, before redemption, frightens us, so we tend to demand a strict adherence to routines and guidelines. Don’t be afraid, and live a full life. But remember, God knows your heart, so give and love as much as possible by your own desire to do so. “ do unto others, as you want them to do to you”. This is important, because when you see yourself as God has seen you, you find relief in the knowledge of being a good person. Our journeys are personally tailored for us, and God knows what we decide, and when we decide, and why we decide. What else would you expect from the almighty loving God? Lol be good, it worth it.

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

@@LilasthoughtsI’ll add this. How does God ultimately judge us? Is it what LOVE we possess? What good deeds we perform? Our intent towards others? How successful we are? How much service we’ve provided to others? All of these things? None of these things? We are made in Gods image. He made us ALL to be royalty in our own right. But are our capabilities used for good, selfless, honorable ways? Or evil, deceitful, cowardly ways! Does he give us the right to choose to take from others according to our capabilities, even though it hurts them by doing so? There is so much I wish I could tell you about his power, his love, his grace, his forgiveness, his promises, his prophesy. If only you could see through my eyes. But you can’t. You have to search for your own treasures, and be held accountable for HOW you find them, through this life. God wants you to have a much more free life, than what Christians do. It’s the personal responsibility that we have a problem with. Controlling ourselves. If we can control ourselves, and have a free, fun, amazing life, then that’s the life God wants to bless us with.

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

@@Lilasthoughts I see how possible that is now to believe, and at the sane time have an amazing life. I had to realize how important it all was to me, and what I can live without. Ultimately, this is the choice God wants us to understand. I never dove off a cliff to see if the rumors were true, I decided to live without that experiment.

[@GaM3RaDaR]

1. You mentioned peace and that it is not feeling or emotion. Do we not Feel peace though? If I'm feeling anxious, and I do breathing exercises until I calm down, until I feel more at peace? When I'm struggling with god, then I decide to read some scripture, that will help me feel at peace. I do understand that we struggle one moment and feel peace another, but it is not Always going to be a straightforward peace for the rest of your life. That is why it feels harder for us who have delved into sin more. You can feel god in certain times, but because of our old ways we know what that other side feels so we feel shame & guilt, and that just ruins our mood. We have no choice but to power through it and fill yourself more with God, if you don't then wouldn't that just be the ego(you) wanting to fit more of yourself in your life?

[@dee1846]

I understand exactly how you feel. The loneliness, impatience, anger and envy has been very hard to deal with. Despite that, I will continue to praise God

[@jesuslvsyou]

I know exactly what you are going through. i am going through something similar right now. the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:9, “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬ just know you are not alone. do what you feel God is telling you to do. i am going to work on doing this exact thing right now, because i feel like God is calling me to just go spend time with Him in the secret place, so i am going to go into my room and just pray to Him and ask the Holy Spirit to move. we can not always be focusing on ourselves, but we need to KEEP our focus on God because He knows what we need. dieu sait ce dont nous avons besoin, alors, faites-lui confiance!

[@lolipop1234-]

it takes time for everything to stabilise when you start to get serious with God keep on praying and the holyspirit will help you and sermons help alot

[@ABittyBee]

11:55 "I am struggling so much" You need not struggle, for Jesus has already overcome the world, and the Bible says "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

[@Lawn19]

I’ve also been struggling with loneliness I pray for a community for you and me

[@Revenant4TheLamb]

Don't worry, there's a Christian family for everybody. Praying you find it. ❤

[@Miguel-fm8xh]

Never watched this video but youtube put you in my youtube premium downloads folder, so grateful to hear you share your love for the lord.

[@isplash3s998]

You invited a lot of different sins to your life which manifested itself in your heart and grew. Many times people sin and call to God, but he doesn't answer because he is rightfully upset, take accountability and humble yourself in his presence so that you remain in his favor. If you trust and call on God, know this, he loves you and he will discipline you so that you may grow. This is not a game to him, his anger is righteous but he will redeem you as long as your heart loves him.

[@user-ek2ms4om7p]

Are you a pharisee??? God JESUS rebuke you. We are SAVED by Grace and this girl obviously is His daughter but she is new in the faith... I'm Not new in the faith, but the trials and temptations are every day until our last breath.. Acts 14:22/1 Peter 4:12 If you think that you are more righteous than this Sister you are just like the pharisees... Ecclesiastes 7:20/Romans 3:23 Praise the Lord for His Grace - Ephesians 1, 2😇🕊✝

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

Have you ever fallen from grace? I think that if you did you would better understand, what I do. Your limited vision and lack of understanding is disconcerting, but understandable if you have not seen into the depths. I am a Christian, and I adore secular music. I’m allowed by God to fully enjoy it, because I know why I’m allowed. Can you answer this question of how I’m allowed to adore secular music and still be in favor of God?

[@isplash3s998]

@@christopherbrubaker2070 my comment is about God's discipline. Why are you disturbed? This is a common theme in our paths with him. Everyone who crucifies themselves for him will be disciplined so that we may know in our hearts what is good and pure. This is a good thing. So why are you bothered?

[@isplash3s998]

@@christopherbrubaker2070 idc that you listen to secular music, God knows who fights for him. I also listen to secular music, but deep inside I know God's ways are pure, I know I'm better off without that music. Although I can't obtain his perfection, I humbled my ways before him and believe his ways are true, all of them, he is free to discipline me as he sees fit so that I may grow in faith and accomplish his purpose for me.

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

@@isplash3s998 I think I may have bundled you in with many other Christians comments here. I don’t like it when Christians don’t understand their personal walk with God is not cookie cutter in design. I was like her, in that I didn’t feel a thing for God at that age, and my understanding of gratitude was absent. I’m sorry if I took out my distain on you, because others had mentioned how listening to secular music was somehow related to everything you just stated. I agree with everything you stated actually, but the feeling that somebody like me isn’t allowed for themselves ( like I did to myself) isn’t their right, and their path to be used of God in their way, I find ignorant. So again, not so much about you, and more about the idea that Christian misunderstand Gods wisdom and ways. I didn’t listen at that age either, but I was forced to come back to him, as my personal process of receiving clarity and anointing. That’s all. I was just upset at all Christian’s who demand certain things out of a possible blindness to the other many ways to Christ. Bless you

[@Hageo.]

Hey Sister, God bless you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are being open and honest and it’s beautiful. I can relate and you are not alone. I found Christ in 2021 too. I can relate to your story. Being on fire for the Lord, I’m delivered from my anger issues, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and others that I can’t seem to remember as I am writing this comment. But there was this one sin, that I was free from for many many months until I fell in. And I cried, I was broken, I felt alone because I turned to sin and it’s a long story of mourning and internal fighting with what I know (that being the truth) and with what I have done (for I have sinned). Again it’s a long story. Yet, I still held on, because there is no love like God’s love because His love is real. But the thing is that I had to be honest with myself and bring it before the Lord. God says be holy for I am holy. Now because of what Christ did for us on the cross. He made a way, that we can to strive to be perfect though we are still in the flesh. Yes, we still sin, but that doesn’t mean that we should give up or quit or either excuse it, but to get back up and repent, confess, and put to death sin. Not sure what struggles you may be dealing with. But I’ll pray for you. What I suggest is to read Romans chapter 7 and 8. How Paul was struggling too. Then he mentions this: “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭7‬:‭24‬-‭25‬. What we have to do is set our eyes on Jesus Christ. We have to: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ We should get in the word. But not just be hearers but doers also. Again, I don’t know what you may be struggling with but I suggest that you put away all distractions, that are keeping you away from Christ. For me, I allowed idols in my life, not recognizing at the time, that they were idols. And even I allowed my heart to be filled with greed, not knowing that it was greed. These were keeping me away from looking towards Christ. It was keeping me away from reading His word. Again, I say it to you my sister. Put away all distractions; whatever it takes, that are keeping your sight away from Christ. You are not alone. God sees you and loves you. His kindness leads us to repentance. Again, thank you for bringing this up, because I see that many others feel the same and are going through this. So I’ll pray for them too. Also here’s this word too: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭15‬-‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬ Much love and God bless you ❤️

[@genesismaduro4752]

Lila, thank you so much for your vulnerability and honesty. I’m also 21 and have been going through the same exact thing as you, thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone in this struggle. The frustration of being sold a fairytale by mainstream Christianity just to realize that choosing for God is harder than living in the world, isn’t something i was prepared for. You’re not alone! Keep going ❤️

[@fromeoYT]

I'm still on my walk and currently unsure about my health, I use to smoke a lot of leaf and didn't realize the effect it would have on me. I'm currently unsure of what I'm going through physically but the only times I've truly felt peace is with god we aren't perfect and its hard to follow like you said so I understand and trust me watching this brings a sense of peace to mind so keep going and god will guide you. I know this is all apart of my testimony and still don't understand everything fully but I'm trying and I pray that god sees that.

[@MrExade]

It's a real struggle indeed, I have been alone and praying for a spouse for 10 years, even though Iv'e cried out to God endless of times, and the enemy uses this to his adventage ofc. And it's hard to find real friends too, feel like noone in church can relate. Been through stuggles after struggles after struggles. Drug addiction, criminal lifestyle, isolation, spiritual warfare,depression, anxiety, no job, verge of homelessness, struggle in walking with the Lord, family issues etc. But as the soldier in Christ that I am I just keep enduring and remaning hopeful that a season of blessing will come ^^ we'll see.. But returning to my old ways and sin is not even an option, so I keep suffering.

[@CataCatherina]

I don’t usually comment on KZbin videos but I resonate with your video so much. I lost many people since I became a Christian and even the few people I have I feel don’t understand this aspect of me. It can be so isolating, but at the same time I feel peaceful too. I was so on fire for God last year and now I don’t understand why I feel so jaded. It almost feels too audacious of me to go back to God and pray again sometimes. I really wish I had Christian friends.

[@Austin_La_Flame]

I’ve been a Christian my whole life. I’m 20 and I’m a military kid. So I was taught things like discipline, patience, durability, and hustle along with many other things. It has been only till last year and maybe the year before that I have mastered entering Gods peace. It’s hard to explain but for the things I struggle with I must stop trying to stop doing it. If that makes sense. It’s very hard but I learned a nice analogy kinda when learning horse riding. If I look at the pole that I’m trying not to hit in the arena then my horse always runs into it even if I’m telling it to start turning away. But when I ignore the pole and focus on where I’m trying to go then the horse obeys me for some reason even though it can’t see what I’m looking at(riding is super spiritual in ways I still don’t understand). I used that concept in my struggle with lust and this spring I made HUGE strides. But even then as a dog returns to its vomit so does the sinner. I also understand that my life is in Gods hands as none of what I desire for it is in my control (literally). nothing about my life is what I expected it to be but step after step it somehow works out and this happens so often that like I said… I just have to stop trying to make it work. For it to work. I had to let go of ALL fear that prevented me from following YHWH into the dark. This is a very uncomfortable thing and it’s led me to the best things in my life. And it’s one hell of a life. But it is so Good! Right now I don’t know what the next step is if I should get a car, save, invest, or get my skydiving lessons(something else God is calling me to… ik it sounds crazy but ask god not me). But as long as I am following God! HOW CAN I LOSE! And that drives a person truly crazy but I observe this euphoria of my life being out of my control as the joy and peace God’s spirit brings when you no longer have to pull the strings of your life to make it work. Just give them to him and when he tells you to look a certain direction to enjoy the view. DO THAT ONLY! My heart is in this comment

[@mimid.227]

Girl i feel you i've been going through the same thing and feel terrible about it. God bless you

[@josephjoestar5466]

Hope you will get better sister, God is helping us whenever we need Him. He likes testing us to strenghten our faith. Bless you ✝❤

[@akuaamaniampongboatemaayia6683]

Hearing this from another Christian feel so real like sometimes we think we are doing this on our own!! but no !! all around the world Christians are going through stuff And the part where you say: I would do something and then feel terrible because I would be thinking about God.. I truly know that we are not alone but sometimes it’s so hard to understand. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”” ‭‭John‬ ‭16‬:‭33‬ ‭ESV‬‬ Every single thing you said felt so personal and I’m glad you are voicing it out. We need to be real with our struggles.

[@fl3urs.des.champs]

my beautiful sister in Christ, i understand your struggle, and i really truly want you to know you are not alone. may God bless us both and help us through our struggles in life. Amen.

[@Harlow2neese]

You explained this in a good way. Thank you and god bless. 💪

[@nnnmmmL0L]

I've been going through similar stuff lately, and I get how you feel. It feels like talking about our sins or rough situations is impossible cuz people are so focused on living a perfect happy aesthetic christian life, but seem to forget that the Word says to share our failures together to encourage and pray for each other. It makes me angry the fact that everyone wants a comfy familiar christian community, but no one seems to have the will to share their failures because "that's not so christian". I pray that all of your suffer and struggles rest on Jesus, so you can take his yolk, which is lighter and easier to carry. Love you ❤️

[@Thunker147]

I am so proud and thankful that you share this. That is exacly how I feel! I am waiting for marriage, I read the bible, pray and so on. Yet I also struggle with lust, drinking, not speaking for God, addiction (I was last year now it has lessened so much but I still feel so bad) lazyness and trying to please other people. It's hard to live through christ when you have literally 0 real christian influense and you want to fit in so bad and have bad mental health and self hate 23:43 ):

[@stalinpalin2899]

Hey! I related to a lot of what you said about getting stuck in sin cycles. There was a time when I couldn't even open the Bible and absorb what I was reading because I was so ashamed of myself and struggled with focus because of condemnation. Something that has helped me is realizing I am looking to meet certain needs and struggling with mental health. Finding a Christian therapist has helped a lot, and I am able read my Bible almost daily now (I'm still a work in progress haha). I thought I'd throw it out there as a possible avenue towards healing and improved relationship with God. Its not a quick fix, but having someone who actually listens to you and asks the right thought provoking questions is incredibly helpful for sorting out what is going on in your mind and understanding how your past influences you now. If therapy isn't an option, looking into Attachment Theory could also be a place to start understanding yourself better. It helps knowing how we relate to our parents and how we learned intimacy from them. You seem like a very honest person who genuinely wants to change and seeks God. God is merciful, and if you seek him and his will, he will give them. Take courage! I work at a pretty mindless job, so I have lots of time to think and pray. I will be praying for you today!

[@lancebarreto]

I'm also going to this exactly. It's so hard, I'm struggling to keep his word. I'm constantly falling back into sin. Especially with vices like smoking. We need to understand that we have to completely leave our old life to be able to receive his grace. Its so hard but i hope i can some day...

[@jk_c02]

So real omg! I feel so alone nowadays. I am definitely suffering the more i try to stick to God. Im crying 😭

[@magdaleneosadolor7263]

You are so strong, it's not easy to openly talk about things like this. I've been Christian since birth and I love it so much but i fail him every day. Like there was a point in my life that i felt so close to God but I fell off of the right path and was led astray and i felt as though God wouldn't take me back because of how in fire i was but then how lukewarm I became. But I've realised that in your walk with Christ, there is nothing NOTHING that you should be ashamed of, it doesn't matter what you've done, God is there for you, waiting. The struggle is hard and it is very much real but i see the struggle as something to grow from, even if you fail during the struggle, GET BACK UP and i know it's easier said then done, trust me I know but it's something all christians go through. The walk with Christ will never be easy because we live in a flesh filled world but God is good and with him, we have peace and love, like genuine peace and love. You are loved Lila, may you prosper and may your walk with Christ grow stronger than ever.

[@MarcusMD1]

Great video!! It's a good reminder that believing in Jesus Christ doesn't mean that we will have a easy trouble free life. Through Christ we have the promise of eternal life, not a convenient life. You aren't alone with your struggles, there are alot of people including believers that will only show the highlight of their life online, and present themselves in a way that they want others to see. So it's very good that you are being authentic with your struggles, because we all need to be reminded that it's okay to be honest about our struggles.

[@LordJesusiscomingsoonholdfast]

I'm struggling right now with the same testimony you testify sister, I'm 16 year old and I came to know the Lord when I was 14 and right now I'm currently facing a deep existential crisis, but I know that there is still hope, even if it seems in my eyes that I'm hopeless.

[@LordJesusiscomingsoonholdfast]

For some reason I could feel your struggles, may we see the light at the end of the tunnel someday, in the presence of God once again.

[@tonycallender7670]

Miss Lila, I hear you, and you're humility is refreshing. Don't beat yourself up too much. I'm also 21, so I know what it's like to be a "baby" christian. As baby christians we have a long road ahead. But I have faith that we will make it in the end. Let's not forget the significant progress you have made. Every small gain counts. Let's not focus on the sin. Anxiety for holiness is a distraction for your relationship with Christ. Let's focus on Christ not for holiness sake, but because Christ is an awesome and holy God; the only holy being in existence. There is no such thing as "knowing God too much to sin". It's a long and complicated journey for each individual, which is why we are saved and healed by grace (which can be slow and often times painful), but we will make it. God bless Miss Lila

[@iiamklein6]

Relatable is an understatement, you’re going to die spiritually, mentally and emotionally so many times and struggle when God is calling for you to come back home. When we die emotionally and are in pain that’s when the choice presents itself to give birth to a new you that’s in Christ and God is too patient with is he gives us this opportunity every single day to choose him. I’ve come to learn that there’s no one foot in and one foot out unfortunately, you have to go all in when you make the choice and you really have to be intentional with it. I’m just like you a sucker for love. But let’s trust that there’s nothing God wants us to have that we don’t have, his timing is always the best. You might get the man you’re looking for right now but possibly mess it up because you’re not who God wants you to be yet. God bless you ma’am and let’s keep fighting the good fight. Jesus has already won, all we need to to do is follow him every single day and he’ll lead us to where we have to be eventually.

[@chickens3156]

I've been a Christian for many years but I resonate so much with this. What's interesting is you said that December 2022 was a tough time in your life. December 2022 was also a very tough time for me, and I had been doing so well in my faith before then, I had taken an important step and was doing better than I had been, then December rolls around and I'm not going to say what happened but after that happened things weren't as good and I went from spiritually stagnant to worse. I almost wonder if the Devil had it out for us during December of 2022. I will say this, it seems like a relationship with God can be like a romantic relationship (not that I've ever been in one, this is just from what I've heard) in the sense that people have passionate feelings for each other at first but those feelings fade over time. From what I've observed and what I've experienced people are on a spiritual high when they first enter a relationship with God but then something happens or the high begins to fade and things get tough and people struggle. Although for me I've had a period of time where I was spiritually high at least twice and it's been during times where I know I was doing something right so this has led to me thinking I was doing something wrong when I wasn't on this high (and sometimes I have been doing something wrong.) All that to say, the struggle is inevitable because while were are new creations we are still human. It doesn't automatically make you a bad Christian to struggle. I will be praying for you.

[@JEZUZBD]

Your so real for this, i pray strength for your mental and spiritual health in Jesus name, when im sad i usually like reading psalms like 6 , 88, 77, 142 and 145, 126, 107 for hope , hope this helps love you big sis 😁🫶🏽

[@metalfilmsofficial9468]

Another 21 year old here. I feel like what you're feeling is actually very common and to be expected at your age. I actually deeply appreciate and connect with this whole thing here pretty well because the whole "I don't feel saved, I don't feel like a Christian" Yk the dirty dark and the grimey and the raw and real is what a lot of people really don't wanna talk about. I'm at a point now where I'm starting to feel like (I could be wrong) it's actually normal not to feel explosive Godly joy and peace constantly. I mean Jesus the man himself didn't seem to have that. Frutration and rage and even depression is'nt exclusive to non-belivers, it is'nt an athiest thing it's just a human thing. Especially considering there's a lot to take into account yk like hormonal changes and long-trained brain chemistry, and psychological trauma. It's taken me personally a long time to start realizing not all of what causes me trouble is just "my being stupid and bad." There is such a thing as false guilt and it can hold you back and keep you feeling like God's not with you anymore.

[@jojoo500]

God’s timing is perfect, God not my will but let your will be done. in Jesus mighty powerful precious loving holy name amen HALLELUJAH

[@CurlyX_JJ]

Someone with the same struggle as I am. The fact we can’t all come together in have this community. Like you said some Christians out there have a good life which is great but when you’re in your lowest it’s hard. It was hard being alone. Without community it was easy for me to walk away from God and now I’m alone again but this time I don’t want to run away from Him but I am still struggling. I cry every night or I’m sad every night and I pray to God cause He’s the only one I want to go to. It’s hard to be patient in His will for me. But you’re not alone

[@Lilasthoughts]

Take care of yourself and yes we have to be patient. God is there he never leaves ❤

[@markstinson6917]

🙏🏾🙏🏾 for you sis, your breakdown of where you currently are was easy to understand. I have also been going through the motions, but I believe God has been drawing me away from my sinful deeds. His mercy and patience is so heart wrenching and joy filling. I’m glad you see where you are currently. God is working on our behalf Lila. We are free in the name of JESUS!!

[@natedaboi1608]

Going through the same think despite being 14, don’t have much friends, some at church which I don’t see that much cause Sunday school isn’t that long, and some that live further away ,I think it’s because I’m still getting out of this child like phase which is wanting me all these franchises and merchandise around me all the time all the time which is making me accidentally idolize, I’m praying and asking for God to help, and I know he will but I must take the first couple steps, please someone reply, May God bless and help you and protect you and all the good things above!

[@annamarti9979]

Lila, you are a light to SO many more people than you know because you share your faith so honestly even when it's lonely. God could be using you to reflect Himself to many people who don't know Him yet. As a fellow new Christian it's often hard for me to grapple with knowing that we aren't promised prosperity on Earth. Keep following Him as genuinely as you have been; your faith has a firm foundation and He loves you no matter what. You got a sub from me. Keep following God and I am praying that He will send godly friends your way! ❤️

[@Lilasthoughts]

Thanks u so much 🥺🥺🥺

[@LegendaryGames420]

I can relate 100%... feeling lost and stuck, trapped even

[@mittenx7022]

I too struggle, It feels like I can’t breathe when I think of the things that might become a cycle, I become afraid that it won’t stop. Then I get a view of what I can be if I stop focusing more on my sins and what could happen if I focus on my relationship with God more. My spirit seems willing but my flesh is weak. I believe there will be a day I overcome these things, and then I’ll be able to breath again ❤

[@pasalasaga]

1. Baptism 2. Confirmation 3. First Eucharist Also questions: 1. Am I in a state of grace? If not, go to confession 2. Am I doing my daily tasks? 3. Am I praying enough?

[@user-cu4kq4fp8t]

Wise words little sister, your on the right path, may God bless you, and your ministry. 👍🙏🔥

[@glamdring1141]

it is hard and i struggle often and fail, i have questions but no answers. i hope and wish that you and all who have these struggles overcome it wit the Lord Yeshua. i hope one day we will see each other and talk with Christ :)

[@makiahcudmore2002]

some of what helped me most in getting back that quality relationship w the Father is routine & consistency. The word needs to be the first thing I point my attention towards upon waking up, it needs to be the last thing I focus on before I lay my head down at night. Jesus needs to be the first one I run to in times of trouble and the first one I consider thanking when good times come my way as well. I will be praying for you, friend. You are so so loved and this is only temporary!