I Fell off the Wagon and I Feel Like a Fraud

On this episode, we hear about:
• A man who previously attempted to quit drinking in January 2023 but has relapsed
• A woman struggling with boundary issues and mismatched expectations with her parents
• A single dad seeking advice on how to teach his 8-year-old daughter about healthy relationships
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[@annstewart8506]

Falling off the wagon is not such a crime. It demonstrates you have the ability to stop in the first place. Don't be too hard on yourself. Simply refocus and restart. Goodluck!

[@Mysterious_Moon]

Best advice is to confide in his spouse when he slips or is tempted to slip. The lying and secrecy is what destroys relationships, after the initial booze cut off. Shame is the immediate feeling after slipping, but forgiveness and honesty is the cure.

[@jamesmilka9174]

Looking forward to this one. I feel like drinking again but I need a strong reminder on why I shouldn't

[@blessedpatience]

Same here... it's not worth it

[@jamesmilka9174]

@@blessedpatience Hey, I thought I could do it, but I just went straight back to drinking around the clock. Stopped again for nearly 2 years but it's tapping me on the shoulder again. No way can I do it again

[@blessedpatience]

U got this man. When u look back a few years from now, you'll be very proud! 🙂

[@brightpage1020]

Dude, my tolerance is *so* much lower after quitting. Don't. It's not worth it. You are worth it. Your health is worth it. Your soul.

[@kiesh82]

Write down the pros and cons of drinking. That helps me. Maybe stick it on the fridge.

[@travisbrock226]

This show gets me every time … water works. Dr JD is an amazing human.

[@HPB1776]

First caller, you sound like a great guy. you've done a brilliant job as a husband and dad and you'll get through this. let your wife in and tell her about your worries. get the drinking sorted out. long walks are a great substitute we're all on your side. sending you v warm wishes from England. ❤

[@judithgottlieb2605]

I like that you talk to people who are not traditionally use to seeking therapy!

[@solgonzalez3936]

And does it so beautifully.

[@flashgordon6510]

AA saved my husband's life. He's made good friends who help him, and he's learned so much about the disease.

[@jangrosemartindale8740]

Such compassion, therapy for HUGE anxiety & self esteem issues, which are tamped down by alcohol.

[@solgonzalez3936]

Dr. john, keep being this type of person so many men and women needs to hear from. You are so kind, sincere, considerate and direct to guide them through those harsh places they are in. I refer lots of friends to listen to you and discuss un next meetings. It helps us all. ❤

[@cosmicshy637]

Dr. John, thank you for helping Jacob. You have the biggest heart.

[@thomashind4835]

The best thing I ever did was writing myself a letter. I addressed it to my then-girlfriend (wife now) but it was really for me. A year later I still hadn’t stopped drinking and I looked back on that letter and how I’d let us down. I quit drinking and will be 6 years sober next month. This guy can do it and his family is going to be more proud of him than they already are. Hang in there buddy

[@susannaspitalsky7502]

But how get over first days , without sleep, sweating and so on? Great job 🎉🎉🎉

[@aquaearthnfirequ_pinsnsavi1721]

So happy the caller found some relief by the end of the call.

[@characteristicallyauthentic]

Dr. Delony if Dave Ramsey were to pick you as his next CEO. You’d have my vote. You are absolutely amazing 🥹

[@chez0788]

Plenty of meetings in San Antonio, Jacob! Come to a few in Boerne if you ever get a chance! Great sobriety out there. Take care!

[@characteristicallyauthentic]

This is me, I just relapsed after going no drinking for 150 days. The guilt that I have is tremendous.

[@samjackson4640]

Dont let the guilt be the reason you drink tomorrow! You have reasons why, you quit drinking, and reasons why you drink, focus on rhe reasons why you stopped drinking, without disregarding why you wanted to relapse in the first place

[@jared3235]

Why? You did an amazing job. 150 days is awesome! Now, just take things one day at a time. It’s not about never drinking again. It’s about not drinking today.

[@rebeccamyers805]

I’m coming back to recovery after 35 years sobriety. Lost my husband my dad and my brother within six months. Then I lost my brother and sister in law to Covid six months later. I lost my mind for about 5 years. 90 days today!! ❤🎉

[@Chartlaub5]

Thank you for sharing. It helps me not feel as alone.

[@AubreeFusselman]

Please listen to The Easy Way To Control Alcohol. It’s by Allen Carr. It’s a completely different approach than anything else you’ve tried. ❤

[@kellibuzzard9431]

Dr. John at his best, which is really, really good!

[@aquaearthnfirequ_pinsnsavi1721]

😢 Ohhh wow!! Best of luck to you Jacob! You are truly an inspiration!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽 For calling and being great! Blessing upon Blessings to you and your Family! You got this 💪🏽👑🦁❤

[@joanlovelace7338]

That single father was amazing and his little girl will grow up with a healthy out look on how a man should treat her,that is a beautiful gift.....

[@aquaearthnfirequ_pinsnsavi1721]

What single father?

[@janiceplowman5528]

This will be hard to listen to. I have a friend who had not drank in the longest time and ended up relapsing. She ended up committing suicide. Another friend who is a recovering alcoholic told me for herself the amount of shame and just self anger that comes with a relapse. She was such a good person but felt worthless and a failure amd it is such a LIE

[@aquaearthnfirequ_pinsnsavi1721]

Oh no. I'm so worried about my ex. He is such a hard head and refuses to even acknowledge that he has a drinking problem. Drinking 5th of hard alcohol daily just to keep away the DT. Not sure how far he will go to get his fix because he's went from being a workaholic to living off his gf/play wife who works a job that pays minimum wage bc she doesn't have a college degree. She has 3 kids on top of it. Not his but hers and I know how he gets when he gets when he starts feeling the alcohol.

[@TigerTsunami404]

I found all these notes in my phone about dates going sober then fell back into it / repeat. It got comfortable as an outlet and I wanted to change that for my family. I'm 8 months sober and it was just a switch that went off in my head that knew I could be better and it wasn't do me any favors. Shifted to running & cycling and it really provides me that clarity I needed. Will get easier but set those priorities on what matters most and what you want out of Life. No Regrets

[@SaystheTruth3]

Second caller likes to hear herself talk zzz...

[@Youdoxxikill]

That's most of the ppl in AA. Made me quit going and get sober on my own

[@hasmikmissakian3970]

When I was younger I hated being told when you get older … that’s for when you get older …. I couldn’t wait until I was older … now I’m older and would have wanted to know when I was younger lol

[@marthaanhalt481]

Jacob got me crying. Man I’m rooting for you … big guy to take this seriously

[@maralghiglia5854]

I love Kamel and his advice but I find myself loving this podcast just as much if not more. So much great conversations such great content.

[@TheSecretPassword]

I’m so tired of comments on other videos saying Dr Jon is always so anti man when videos like this exist

[@blueseptember2174]

Those are the internet manosphere whiny boys commenting. Don't take it to heart. Real decent functional men don't feel that way

[@racheltarentino3314]

Men will be dumb

[@ashleyduckworthyt3224]

If you move across the street from your parents with the expectation they would help you YOU HAVE TO DISCUSS THAT WITH THEM FIRST. Those are YOUR kids- you’re not entitled to your parents help. Going on “walks” with grandma is not the same as free babysitters

[@cystersisters6878]

Sounds very similar to my husband. Getting sober is so incredibly hard. My husband goes through periods of sobriety and slip ups. He's finally started trauma therapy which has been the most beneficial thing for him. My husband is the same way very hard on himself,super intelligent and talented. Does not see it within himself regardless of what people tell him. I learned long ago I could not stop this. He did. And he works at it everyday ❤️

[@bdeezy2962]

So jealous he went to the sum 41 final tour show..me and this guy need to be friends! 😂❤ love the show

[@laveraharper9698]

Doctor John, you certainly help the husband/father! That's why I take time to follow you only... that is, as a rule ❤

[@kellibuzzard9431]

Second caller is hard to follow...or is it just me?

[@ebullock1000]

She won’t just spit it out… very difficult to understand, talking in circles

[@SaystheTruth3]

Agree! I kind of posted the same thing 😂

[@msdixieblues]

This topic of seeing how your addiction can be snowballing hit me. I've struggled with disordered emotional eating and it's impacting other areas of life. 46 next week and I know I'm eating to escape the pain of repeating emotional abuse pattern that I saw my mother go thru. Looking to make better choices

[@charlottemosley885]

I’m sorry but the mom’s first responsibility is to her son not the grandchildren

[@jennyjunemoon-walker8739]

Ugh. Heartache but powerful. As a recovering alcoholic and grateful member of AA, I'm always impressed w Dr J's thoughtfulness and suggestions for those with substance/alcohol use disorders. I felt this one tonight. I put my hand on my heart with them. And I felt that in my heart and soul. Love to all. ❤❤❤ 22:21

[@linak7155]

I loved this question and response!!!!❤❤❤❤

[@barb7124]

I was recently hospitalized for alcohol withdrawal. Never again will I do that to myself.

[@adventureviolet]

I did the hand on my chest prayer with him. Hurt like hell! But it was worth it

[@dk1828]

1st call was beautiful 🙌

[@ambernelli7791]

I thought I was coming on here to comment on the show. I'm already half way through the podcast on Spotify. At any rate wait until you hear the caller with twins. It's like listening to the definition of verbal diarrhea. She needs to relax. Listening to get made me anxious. 😂

[@heaterah5664]

I'm barley into her call and I'm exhausted trying to keep track of what she is trying to say. 😬

[@ambernelli7791]

She's probably nervous but whoooo.

[@SaystheTruth3]

😂 exactly!! I couldn't finish her dumb call

[@demgphix]

It's only day 10 for me, but I've been here hundreds of times before. To everyone else out there trying to put down the bottle, stay strong 💪 We are infinitly better without it.

[@AstrologicalMessages]

Happy for you. You got this. You think you are feeling good now but it only gets even better. Great tips: Start working out, eat healthier, take multi vitamins, start a new hobby, start meditating/journaling , make new friends not surrounded in alcohol.

[@seven2211g]

Your wife will love more than anything to help you. Good job getting to a meeting. Ill pray for you.

[@micaelakirkby8066]

Hey Jacob your not aloneI’ve done the same thing recently after being diagnosed with a neurological degenerative disease called Huntingtons I also felt like a fraud because I was clean for 5 years and been spreading sobriety inshore on social media. Don’t be hard on yourself remember it’s not the fall it’s truly how you get back up and you avtual saying out loud will make the weight lighter so you’ve already done the hardest part, admitting it 🎉Just remember progress NOT Perfection ❤ AA is really helpful got sober at 23 so trust me it works Dr is right,They help you feel less alone and they teach you how to reparent yourself and slowly 24 hrs a day at a time you will slowly find yourself and even a better version remember how much you put in is how much you get out😊 good luck Jacob you got this 😉

[@margaretrose3871]

I hope Jacob sees this and knows I will pray for him every single day. You are a good man and alcohol will NOT take you down. May God bless and keep you and guide you.

[@FaithAndRepentance]

No 1 Cares if you fell off the wagon. 😮 😅 We only care that you Get Back 0N ❤❤❤ 1 day at a time, 5 minutes at a time. For many webdont make it the first time and gotta start over, no shame!!!! But beware, sometimes we dont get the chance to come back because what we did took our li ves.....youve gotnthis. Just get back up and try again. You Can Recover ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@FaithAndRepentance]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@charliewhon6548]

I wish my husband of 25 years was strong enough to admit his drinking issue like this man has. He drinks 10-12 beers every single night and does stupid stuff, gets really mean to me when he realizes he didn’t quit yet another night, after telling me he would. I asked him if he would please let us get help, and he said if I reached out to get help, he would leave me, because normal people don’t need to get help. This guy is so tender and transparent. Bless his soul!

[@valaries.5944]

19:49 GET to a meeting is the first step in healing. You can and will do this with help. This is a WE program. One day at a time, you will gain sobriety and strength knowledge of this disease is powerful. Fellowship while learning and working is powerful.

[@andrewdrost2544]

Been there Jacob stay strong there is room on the other side AA is great especially the zooms if you don't like going out socially. I was in the ICU for 8 days 6 months ago at 35 years old after a divorce and now gaining weight and building back strong. It's a lifelong struggle but having coping mechanisms in place is huge completely understand the anxiety/ovethinking. There will be good/bad days that's just normal as an overthinker.

[@chelyfranco5037]

He goes easy on gramma. Don't make promises you have no intentions to keep

[@AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach]

I really try for 7-8 hours of sleep. I’m happy if I can make 6 without waking up a little too early, but too late to go back to sleep before I need to be up. But I keep trying!

[@andreaallison5912]

Love this show !

[@RodneyBost-gw6eo]

Ive been to rehab 4 times. 3 recovery 🏘 but i cant seem to stop. Its the only thing that numbs me from the reality of life and takes away the sucidal ideations.

[@74GenX]

Put the plug in the jug, go to a meeting, tell on yourself and get a sponsor. We are only as sick as the secrets we keep. ❤

[@ktward_]

PLEASE bring back the early bird pricing for the money & marriage!!! 🙏🏻

[@williamyoste2812]

Woooooo what’s up!!!! Love the intro

[@greeneyes2256]

GSDs are NOT FOR FIRST TIME DOG OWNERS! I’m sure someone here was or is a first time owner of a GSD, and doing very well. But the breed as a whole needs more of everything you learn from owning other djj on dogs first. Plus, most gave tremendous prey drive. It needs time and effort to be trained and challenged.

[@evkurywczak6201]

I love this show and now I know that DR. JOHN LOVES SUM41?!?! subscribed and rang the notification bell!!!

[@AstrologicalMessages]

The sound caller can talk a toddler to sleep.

[@peterlee584]

Ray Romano's character in "Everybody Loves Raymond" is called Ray Barone. He alsi had twin boys.

[@brette]

You got this.

[@cplmpcocptcl6306]

Video is about Grandparents too busy to babysit. Not falling off the wagon.🤷‍♀️

[@AubreeFusselman]

PLEASE PLEASE don’t rely on will power and programs. There is an audiobook that will destroy your desire to drink alcohol. It works! It’s called The easy way to control alcohol. It’s by Allen Carr. It saved me and trust me when I say I didn’t believe I could ever completely stop alcohol. I firmly believed that I had zero desire to be completely alcohol free, but here I am. I tell everyone about this book.

[@blueseptember2174]

What is in the book that make it so great or different

[@AubreeFusselman]

@@blueseptember2174 Because you will learn that alcohol doesn’t give you anything positive. You’ll see it as useless and you won’t ever desire it again after you see it for what it really is. It’s truly incredible. You continue to drink as you go through the book and you see for yourself that everything you thought it gave you was a lie.

[@allychar7316]

😮 this is so synced right now I clicked on this because the tittle reminded me of a really close friend I recently had a falling out with. My friend relapsed with alcohol and I am concerned, he won't answer me, he's most likely on the streets in the 115 ° heat do to the bridges he's burned and I feel helpless. His name is Jacob, but I can tell by the voice it's not my Jacob 😢🙏

[@britneyog9537]

Jacob.. you can do this.

[@kimbodden4185]

one day Dr John D❤❤😂😂

[@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega]

Every true Christian knows you will have set backs and you will backslide from time to time. It's okay. Trust in the Lord, get back up. He's got you. With Him the pains of the past have no power. You'll still go through pain and suffering, but you'll be able to say, "it is well with my soul".

[@aaronbushue499]

Dream cloud got kicked out of the gang

[@patriciaegan7244]

I wish you luck caller. Are you part of a church? Sometimes the hardest thing is reaching out because you don’t know what you’ll run in to.

[@berniegordon6338]

Why are they pretending this show is live, but play a promo for the show you are about to watch during the show?

[@cherylbo888]

There is a difference between live broadcasting and "going live" as a channel on youtube. It's a premiere basically. Many channels do this.

[@scrapykat3028]

It’s a premiere which is live. Usually the host can chat in the text.

[@berniegordon6338]

@@scrapykat3028 but they don’t

[@berniegordon6338]

@@cherylbo888 either way there is nothing live about it

[@LovePhoenix96]

So then don't watch 😂 how pathetic you are upset about this man saving lives..

[@LovePhoenix96]

To the first guy, I am an alcoholic and A.A is the ONLY way you will ever get and stay sober! Be strong and make your sobriety a priority. ❤

[@jcstuart6978]

Don't buy a helix mattress.

[@coluccifresh]

DONT GET DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!!!

[@brightpage1020]

Are you willing to remake your commitment?

[@nancyrowe3964]

Shelby is a bit selfish and not a good decision maker. She based a move on a possibility 🤷🏼‍♀️.

[@MrC9Oh3]

Just dont try to fully quit, just drink on the weekends. There is a happy medium.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

18:10 Dr. John is the best! ❤🥹 You got this Jacob, We are all rooting for you!

[@08dayxday]

Dang we all felt how hard it was to say that “I love this guy.” Respect Jacob. 🫡

[@TheSecretPassword]

I’m so tired of comments on other videos saying Dr Jon is always so anti man when videos like this exist

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Thank you! It’s so annoying, he so clearly cares about men! He literally said “I love you good man”. ❤🥹

[@FaithAndRepentance]

No 1 Cares if you fell off the wagon. 😮 😅 We only care that you Get Back 0N ❤❤❤ 1 day at a time, 5 minutes at a time. For many webdont make it the first time and gotta start over, no shame!!!! But beware, sometimes we dont get the chance to come back because what we did took our li ves.....youve gotnthis. Just get back up and try again. You Can Recover ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@FaithAndRepentance]

❤❤❤❤❤❤