I got a vasectomy.

I made a decision that truly changed the course of my life for the better. It's definitely not for everyone, but for me, it has really given me a lot of freedom in my life.
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[@jansleyreal]

I didn't make this real clear in the video, but I fully respect those who choose to have kids. I'm not against it by any means, it's just something I decided would not be right for me. I certainly don't advocate that people take the info I talk about in this video as advice, it's just me sharing a personal anecdote. :)

[@sznapi1993]

Wow bro, came here for ux but really appreciate your transparency and open-mindess! i feel like today even in western, rich societies childlessness is still such a taboo.. it takes courage to think differently and disobey social norms. Some people just want to have kids and i can totally understand that, but i find no other word for bringing new beings to this world "because i don't want to be left alone when i'll get old" reason than just cowardness. It's not the way folks. Anyway, congrats on your decision and good luck in your life journey :)

[@jansleyreal]

Thank you, I appreciate your comment! Yeah it definitely is still taboo I think, but I think it's slowly becoming a bit more normalized as time goes on, which is cool.

[@melleedunn]

I have a child and I love him dearly, but I literally tell all of my childless friends that having children is not for everyone, you need a specific soul to raise a child, please do not have a child just because your parents asked you to, have one because you honestly want one. All the people I know with kids only talk about the good and easy times but I tell people about all the hard shit cause I don't feel like that's made real enough for people. Like getting a fork stuck in my head he threw at me, or like trying to keep him from screaming during his dad's performance producers might be at, taking care of him when he had COVID while also having COVID, or like even what goes into multitasking working full time and watching a kid full time. I don't feel like stuff like that is talked about enough. The social life too is hard but it's dependent on the person. I'm not someone who likes to go out every weekend with people, I like my online friends and once in a while my North Carolina friend flies in for a weekend, but people with big social lives have a lot they either have to give up or work out to have a partner that doesn't mind being home with the kid all the time. The sleep thing tho we don't have an issue with, we did sleep training from 2 months old so he doesn't get up all hours of the night and goes to bed super easy. But I know people who did not do that and have a hard time with it once their kid got older. Honestly there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, my pregnancy was not planned so I can't say that it was something I set out for but I also think if it was something we planned we likely wouldn't have had a kid when we did because it came when my partner was auditioning and considering joining the actors union and I was building up freelance work and looking for a new job. I think in life what is most important is your core happiness so keep doing you 👍

[@jansleyreal]

This is a very thoughtful response, thank you for sharing this! I bet your kid is lucky to have you!

[@MrJamiez]

I had a Vasectomy 22 months ago. Best decision I ever made & zero complications.

[@jansleyreal]

Congrats, it's a wonderful world after having it

[@MrJamiez]

@@jansleyreal it is bro. Girls are more inclined to sleep with you knowing there are zero risks of pregnancies. 😂

[@illuminativon6542]

​@@MrJamiezit's amazing sex is better as well

[@noemigomez8113]

Wow! What an important step and thank you for sharing it with us. I’m here for UX but I love your transparency and hearing more other than UX. I am a mother and love it! However, I respect the choice for others not to have kids. Do Whatever is best for you!

[@jansleyreal]

Thanks for your support Noemi! I'm experimenting with sharing both my UX journey, and also my life journey.

[@bobmarker6812]

I knew by 17 kids weren't for me. Snipped at 22. I like kids, just didn't want the responsibility or expense. Now at 63 I've never had a regret. A lot of people my age are financially helping their adult kids or raising grand kids.

[@jansleyreal]

Whoa I'm glad you have no regrets at 63! I've always wondered what people in their 60s think about their decision to get snipped.

[@illuminativon6542]

Wow they were doing vasectomies back I'm your day

[@Windows96_]

I’m going child free for now and getting a vasectomy. I’ll be open to adopt in the future or I’ll step up to raise a kid as my own if he or she needs me to.

[@amberobards]

thank you for sharing your experience

[@jansleyreal]

Glad it helped!

[@boogitybear2283]

I’m almost 44 years of age and got a vasectomy at 27 with no kids. Best decision I ever made.

[@ashleychapmanholisticwelln901]

Heck yeah! Esp with the current political climate in the US, I wish more men who know they don't want kids would get a vasectomy.

[@jansleyreal]

I appreciate the support Ashley! Yeah I've brought it up with guy friends who don't want kids, and they're always very apprehensive about it.

[@bony4845]

I'm also childfree and I wanna have a vasectomy so bad. But i'm just TERRIFIED about PVPS (Post Pain Vasectomy Syndrome). Have you heard about it before you taking your decision? My dream is to have a vasectomy but PVPS is putting me off.

[@jansleyreal]

The odds are 1-2%, just find a good surgeon and you won’t have a problem. I knew about it but wasn’t concerned at all. Other than some recovery discomfort, I don’t even know that I had it

[@cavemaninasuit]

Thanks for making this, screw the haters in the comments. I have recently decided with my wife that kids are not for us, we love to travel and go to burning man, etc things that are expensive and not really able to do with small kids. I am very seriously considering this surgery.

[@jansleyreal]

Thank you for your support! Yeah if your dead set on not having kids, getting that surgery has been the biggest anxiety relief ever.

[@cavemaninasuit]

@jansleyreal thanks for your reply! Can you give me a general idea of how bad the numbing needle hurts and for how long? It's my only fear really

[@jansleyreal]

@@cavemaninasuit On a scale of 1-10, maybe a 2. It's easy. Soreness afterwards, I waddled a bit haha. But not painful, just uncomfortable. Lasted maybe 2 days. Some residual yet insignificant discomfort for a week or so. After 2 weeks, I forgot I had gotten it done.

[@cavemaninasuit]

@@jansleyreal thank you so much for the info!

[@josephmartinezvideography7761]

I may get one , but heard orgasms feel different after . Is this true ?

[@jansleyreal]

It's bunk. Absolutely no difference, still fantastic!

[@resident133]

I'm 24 and want to get a vasectomy, but I do feel like it's a chance that the doctor would consider me too young to make that decision.

[@jansleyreal]

Go to reddit r/childfree and there is a list of childfree friendly doctors

[@handyman9298]

at 60 I wish I had kids and now grand kids im lonely

[@eyevenear]

amazing video.

[@jansleyreal]

Thank you!

[@subucherry]

What’s the procedure to move to the US and date this man?! 🤩😍

[@jansleyreal]

Haha you made my day :)

[@chadguindon6909]

You are not childless but rather childfree. Childless means that you wanted to have children but couldn’t do it. Childfree means that you choose not to have children. I am childfree by choice as well, I didn’t get a vasectomy because I am a gay man. However, I contemplated about it just in case I smash with a woman.

[@teacherwaseemheight9586]

Although I respect your decision. I disagree. Children are investments, not expenditures. If the family structure is sound, your children should be giving you back in terms of wealth and love. When we are old, our children will be there helping us in our old age or at least keeping in touch with us. None of us want to lonely.

[@jansleyreal]

I appreciate your differing opinion! My only concern is that while children should give back later in life, it doesn't mean that they will. I work with a lot of older people as a PT, and a lot of their children have basically given up on them. Definitely not the majority, but a decent portion. It sucks, but it's reality.

[@viviangod_win]

​@@jansleyreal They certainly do not. I oversee 90 nursing homes and assisted living facilities in Texas through HHSC. These facilities remain open due to the demand from individuals who lack family members willing or able to care for them at home. As part of my job, I regularly meet with residents during facility visits and hear their stories. The majority of them express feelings of loneliness. Even those with family who visit on weekends find it insufficient. A couple of hours, one or two days a week, is not enough. Some residents express feeling guilty because they understand that their visiting family members have their own busy lives. For most, outside visitors are rare or too infrequent. Some residents are social enough to befriend their peers or engage in hobbies and create a new life for themselves outside of their family. Those who can fare better. It's disheartening to witness their openness about their loneliness and the internal conflict they face between wanting more visits from family and acknowledging their loneliness. It's the reality. Those who rely on their children to be there for them have a real disconnect with what is likely to occur. Those expectations are going to be shattered for many when the time comes. Thank you for sharing this btw. Very brave to speak on this insanely controversial topic. I would love to have the freedom to have my tubes tied. I'm wondering why it seemed easier for you to get your vasectomy than having an OB even consider tying my, and several of my female friends, tubes. We have all recieved the same feedback about how we can't possibly know what we want and we'll change our minds. I've known since I was 6 years old that I do not want children. I did not relate much to them growing up and often seperated myself from them to exclusively hang out with my teachers and that has not changed.

[@stfudud31092]

Wow... so you people see children and see ones and zeros, investments, and care givers for your old age. Please do children a favour. Dont have any. BTW having children is no garantee you wont be alone. Also, not having children doesnt mean you will be alone.

[@Lecia-lithium]

Now you will have nerve pain for the rest of your life, well done

[@jansleyreal]

My balls feel great, thank you :)

[@illuminativon6542]

That's not true

[@YEET-kd4en]

Having kids is a part of your development to a complete human being.

[@jansleyreal]

Not for me, but thanks for your opinion

[@stfudud31092]

No, it is not. Why dont you better go and take care of your own kids -if you even have kids- instead of antagonizing people who dont think like you do about life.

[@YEET-kd4en]

@@stfudud31092 I did take care of my four children and nine grandchildren. Indeed most people I know who did not want children, did a good job. They were very selfish and egeocentric. Indeed the wright choice.

[@incel-simp]

​@YEET-kd4e not wanting children means being selfish? bro why you hating

[@illuminativon6542]

​@@YEET-kd4engo adopt some kids then

[@tonimartin6167]

My vasectomy was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. Several months after the vasectomy I developed severe ED, myscle liss, softer testicles, dropped in testosterone levels.....

[@comal89]

For real?

[@tonimartin6167]

@comal89 A couple months after the vasectomy, my right testicle was softer and my erections were weaker. The Urologist injured my testicle, it completely destroyed my erections

[@comal89]

@@tonimartin6167 so how long ago was this and are your erections just softer? What about ejaculations how do they compare? I'm debating on doing one I got 4 kids now...

[@michaeldeegan3560]

I see you on all these channels reporting the same thing.

[@tonimartin6167]

@@michaeldeegan3560 because it destroyed my life.