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I Hate Having To Cater To The Dietary Choices Of My Vegan Friend....- Best Reddit
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AITA For Telling My Friend, Who Is Vegan And Doesn’t Drink, That I’m Tired Of Catering To Her Choices?
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A 50-year-old woman, referred to as OP, is struggling with the dietary and lifestyle restrictions of her friend Lauren, a 46-year-old vegan who abstains from alcohol. Although OP respects Lauren’s choices, she feels frustrated that their group outings are always dictated by Lauren's preferences. This has led to limited dining options, as their area already lacks diverse food choices, and to tension when others consume meat or alcohol in Lauren’s presence. Lauren not only disapproves vocally but also sends videos about the harmful effects of alcohol, which OP finds patronizing.
OP has tried to accommodate Lauren by suggesting various places for the group to meet. However, Lauren frequently redirects the plans to vegan-friendly venues, causing OP to withdraw from group outings due to dissatisfaction with the limited and expensive food options available. When confronted by Lauren about her absence, OP candidly expressed her frustration, emphasizing that she cannot always cater to Lauren’s needs. OP suggested alternative activities that don’t involve food or drink, but Lauren dismissed these ideas, insisting that there was nothing else to do in their area.
The confrontation escalated when OP proposed that Lauren eat beforehand and join the group later or alternate between vegan-friendly places and others. Lauren rejected these suggestions, stating she wouldn't sit around watching others eat meat. OP reiterated that she wouldn’t keep accommodating Lauren’s choices every time they went out. After this conversation, a mutual friend informed OP that Lauren was upset, though the friend privately agreed with OP's stance but avoided conflict.
OP questions whether she is in the wrong for not wanting to continuously cater to Lauren’s restrictive preferences. Many commenters supported OP, calling Lauren's behavior controlling and self-righteous, particularly regarding alcohol. OP shared an update, revealing an incident during a tennis practice in extreme heat, where Lauren refused to play early to avoid the hottest part of the day. When a teammate suffered from heat exhaustion, Lauren’s selfish attitude prompted OP to confront her harshly. The other teammates, who had also been frustrated with Lauren, thanked OP for speaking up.
In conclusion, OP decided to distance herself from Lauren, no longer tolerating her self-centered behavior. This situation highlights the challenges of balancing friendship dynamics with personal boundaries and mutual respect.
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