Рет қаралды 8,992
I love working. I'm a workaholic. I started working in a bar when I was 15. I always thought that work is the only thing won't betray me. With my ADHD, I can't even count on myself to function when I want myself to be. But I always thought the lessons I learned from a job will always be mine.
Now I'm 23, turning 24 soon. It's not just about rent, or passion and dreams. I'm in the process of immigrating to Canada. I'm required to work a full-time job in certain industry. I love my job, and I hate it at the same time.
I hate the feeling of stuck in a position in life that I have no control over with. I hate how it makes me feel weak and incapable. I hate how it makes me cry. I hate how boring and repetitive it is sometimes. But, I hate the fact that everyone else seems to have a fine time with it, and I'm the only one that has a problem with it.
I hate the fact that this job is everything I ever wanted, supportive environment, learning opportunities, even traveling opportunity. Yet, I still experience the same problems. Consistency, lost of motivation, zoning out, unable to perform well in certain situation. I can't help but thinking if I am the problem of my struggles. And the moment when I believe that I am the problem, I felt something left my body, yet my body feels heavier.
"HOPE", an simple four letters word, yet it weights so much. When ADHDer start to believe that we are the problem, that's where the real problem come in: We disarmed the only person that can actually solve the problem.
I hope you can find this video relatable, and I hope at the end of it you will feel less lonely. And I sincerely hope you stay hopeful in those hard night.
🧡