i hate myself

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 852 58 (UK Texting Service)
Samaritans: 116 123 (UK Hotline, 24 hours, 7 days a week)
If you live outside of the UK, google for a hotline and some will come up, you don't have to give details of your whereabouts or name if you do not wish or if you are worried someone will find out, just talk to someone and vent it out to a stranger that can't judge you based on rumours, gossip, or on knowing you personally. It helped me at the time, so just remember it is an option, that may or may not help to distract you.
Trigger warning: I discuss self harm and other sensitive topics in this video. So if you're not okay with hearing that right now, please click away.

[@MagicTranceChic94]

omg such a late reply. aaa sorry hun?! uni is going crazy for me and i feel your pain too. you know I'm always here for you girl stay strong chick you got this 💕💕

[@siobhanm9690]

i’m so glad you decided to get past your fears and upload this. it’s so important for others to hear, and for you to know so many people feel similar, and at least you’re not the only one. i’m sorry the people you’ve opened up reacted that way. i hope you can open up to a professional and seek treatment. I felt deeply depressed two years ago and it really does get better

[@pastyfriends1096]

Hey Rebekah, it's soo sad to see you feeling this way. Like I said in a comment in your previous I will always be here for you, I think the same will stand for all of your subscribers. You don't have to fight this battle alone

[@MariaSaysNo]

Sending lots of ❤️ and positive thoughts.

[@anmyk.1138]

Hey Rebekah, I have been watching your videos for some months now, mainly because I enjoy your personality. I like your dark, sarcastic sense of humor, your gift for entertaining commentary and also that you seemed to stick to your values. I also was always worried for you. Please don't missunderstand that sentence though. It doesn't mean, that something about you was a burden to me. I just always felt like the things you told about your difficulties and hard times didn't match up with how calm, collected or even cheerful you seemed on the outside. You absolutely seemed like that person, who always get's overlooked, because she pictures herself as strong, so the others wouldn't guess that she is in trouble. Or they just don't get the deepness of what you are going through. But then again, you maybe have to be like that on KZbin. I can't judge. All I know is, that I always, sereously hoped that you have people around you, that will be there, no matter how you feel. And sure, it is not easy to be around people who feel bad. But you didn't choose to feel like that. And you do deserve all the help you can get. I know, you might not feel that this is true right now, but thats one reason more for me to say that to you. I don't know you, but I want you to be alive and in peace with yourself. I kind of needed to get that off my chest, I guess. If I seem like a person you want to talk to, just message me here. I hope you can find some sleep tonight.

[@RebekahRambles]

Thank you. Sometimes I’m surprised that there are people that genuinely watch me all the time, I don’t know why comments like this always surprise me, in a good way. But thanks for your comment, & your support 💛

[@anmyk.1138]

My guess to why you are surprised would sereously be, that you are not in a realistic place with your judgement of yourself and with how adorable you are. :)

[@anmyk.1138]

Anyway: If you need people to talk, feel free to PM me. I will answer as soon as I can.

[@ashleymartinsonforever3131]

Don't be so sad. You're an amazing KZbinr. Don't give up. There are people who love you. Sorry you feel that way. I will say a prayer for you tonight. 🙏

[@RebekahRambles]

thank you. xo

[@ashleymartinsonforever3131]

@@RebekahRambles you're welcome. Hugs you.

[@fornamnefternamn1532]

Ah crap. I hate when others are like in the same position as mine. I was told just a hour ago that I should tell myself that I am a good person more often. My thought, that I did not mention aloud, was that no, I cannot lie to myself. I watched this and started to think about what keeps me together. I can name my job, where I do something purposeful and have my only social context. Save for my boss. But everything's so complicated and I recognize so much of me in you. I don't know what to say more about that. I hope you will be better, but I also know it's a struggle. Having your brain as an enemy is bad. 😕 Så trött.

[@connie_d]

I know how you feel I'd say keep telling people stuff cos at least that makes it their fault if they don't support you rather than ending up at the bottom of a downward spiral and something happens and them being all like why didn't you tell meee You're awesome, please don't hurt yourself

[@connie_d]

Check out the new vid on the ITV News yt channel about talking to a stranger - more evidence to suggest you should tell people stuff, even if it doesn't always work it will sometimes Pls keep letting us strangers know you exist or we'll worry (no pressure)

[@connie_d]

Oh and be wary about thinking cos one thing went wrong that everything's ruined, that one gets me all the time Sorry for spamming you

[@siobhanm9690]

also it’s hard to hear but those friends aren’t worth having if they make you feel like a burden

[@viddysgamingviddyos4710]

As someone who feels like they love or care for people more than myself, I can relate. I have rarely, if ever, shared my actual face [my profile pic is an avatar] or things about my mental health/sexuality/etc online for the fear of what people online will say - which is actually something you talked about the first time I ever commented on your vids [I think that video had a thumbnail with a teddy bear, it was some time ago]. I haven't seen a therapist for months, and I feel like I'm getting better, but I still do have my negative episodes. I even didn't respond to a friend's calls one weekend, sigh, why did I do that?! This year, I'm trying not to worry too much about work [plus toxicity in fandoms] and focus on new interests and hobbies, KZbin videos [which I almost quit doing], mostly less social media and catching up friends. I'm going for a swim and stuff with people I care about - remember, there are people who care about and love you. Friends, family, extended family. Rebekah, I'm sending you hugs [Internet hugs, I guess], hope you sleep well.

[@kaydle50]

Rebekah, I I think you are an amazing person. Please forgive me for not telling you that. Your honesty and intensity are frightening at times--but you can believe this-you would be missed a hell of a lot!

[@simplykatexo2504]

this was the exact time that i was feeling bad

[@Schadenfreund.]

I care, Rebekah. Listening to you in this video was a lot like listening to myself considering how many notes you touched on that I have felt strongly and painfully. It brought tears to my eyes. You are a vibrant and gorgeous young lady who is loved certainly. You mentioned speaking to strangers in the tone of being selfish and I want to say that I firmly believe that is not selfish, but an act of self-improvement and love. I have been trying to do exactly the same thing, and I want to extend my company to you to chat about anything at anytime, if you're comfortable with that. Hopefully we can both make a new friend in each other's arms. I really hope I don't come across as just some creepy asshole on the internet; the thought disgusts me. Happy Valentine's Day, Rebekah. You are worthy, you deserve happiness, and you are loved. I love you. Oh and that yellow sweater is really cute and looks great on you!

[@MagicTranceChic94]

we need to meet up at some point soon!! wana give you a big hugg 💕💕

[@user-rc1my2xc3s]

Hey lovely, it's Bobby-Jo, I'm trying to drop you a message but I noticed you deleted your IG and your twitter and FB haven't been active for a while so I'm not sure where the best place to reach you is? 💖

[@RebekahRambles]

B hey, I’ve been using Instagram again, or Facebook messenger is still active 💛

[@m1stakeng1ark85]

And don't do it for KZbin or anything like that do it for you

[@kivvm]

So i understand that I dont know you. But if you ever need someone to speak to please reach out. I know and understand the feeling of being surrounded by so many people, family and friends, but yet feel so alone. I never did reach out to anyone. I could just hear them.. "he has a great job. Alot of friends and always happy around them" bla bla bla.. wich is all true but no one saw the cries for help. Until I went out for drinks with a very old friend and she just could see that something was off. I didnt say anything but she phoned me the next day and pretty much asked, "do you have thoughts about killing yourself?". It helped. I'm not gonna go about it here and I dont have an answer for you. But I can tell you what helped for me and the importance of having someone to talk to when it feels really bad.

[@ReeceChambers99]

Been subscribed for a while, enjoy your videos. Feel free to send me a PM on here or elsewhere (links in description of my videos). I'll try to reply as soon as I can. I'm also sorry you feel the way you do.

[@skullkidsteve721]

Please contact me via Twitter, I'm so worried my friend.

[@m1stakeng1ark85]

The definition of insanity is doing the same and over and over again expecting a different result. Do something new different challenging. I dare you to walk up that steepest street in Wales.