I have a problem with wheelchairs...*FOR ME*

[@jaclyncamacho2420]

Hate to say it, but someone told me, you dont get an award for suffering thru something. So if there's an easier option. Take it. It was hard for me too. Pride.

[@jaclyncamacho2420]

My wheelchair DOES give me independence. I hate being pushed around so i push myself.

[@silverbroom02]

Same here!

[@nhler981]

What works for you might not work for other pepole tho

[@silverbroom02]

Potatocow27 Of course, sometimes I need to be pushed too but just sympathizing with the fact that it can suck. I find it super stressful to be pushed.

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

My powerchair does the same for me 💜

[@surfvolume]

Molly Burke, a KZbinr who is very independent and also very blind, has talked about this same issue of accepting help. Depending sometimes on others, and even strangers, led to being more open and trusting. And the perhaps surprising result was more freedom and a more positive view of humanity. She says it better. But I hope that this is what you're able to find.

[@chelsey8737]

I love Molly!!! Between her and Jo I've learned do much about disabilities and albeism.

[@salimali5019]

Ahh I love Molly and hi as well! You should check out role with Cole!

[@jessicacapizzo524]

Molly Burke is not so independent...her mother lives with her, before that she has a live in care and help so don't let her fool you.

[@max7420]

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot! You only have one left! (Sorry for my bad jokes) 😉😂

[@megmorningstar4250]

I thought the same, but I decided it was a bit inappropriate to say it aloud 😂.

[@max7420]

meg morningstar, I did too at first, but she has a close sense of humour to mine... dad jokes 😂

[@648xtrash8]

Savannah Seney 😂

[@maaggiied2554]

I’ve definitely refused help when I shouldn’t have. Other people don’t understand why we do that. We are already handicapped in life so we feel the need to prove otherwise. I hate using a wheelchair but I need to sometimes and that’s okay

[@angelawesneski5029]

Internalized ableism is a b****. I hope your journey takes you to more pleasant experiences.

[@sarahdaestrela6098]

I have a lot of empathy-- I don't even wear my glasses regularly the way I should because of it.

[@notabirden]

I had very similar thoughts about my own wheelchair. Though I had a nice chair that was meant to be pushed by the user, I didn't have the strength to do so. Being pushed around by others in a wheelchair is still on my Top 10 Things I Hate list. When I got a power assist (smart drive) for it though, everything changed. Being able to push myself around made such a huge difference in how I feel about being in a wheelchair. Now it feels liberating! If you can, get yourself a wheelchair that you can use by yourself, I'm sure it would make such a difference! Hope it works out.

[@justmeamara]

I also have a smart drive too, it makes all the difference! I only need to be pushed if I forgot to charge the watch that controls it, or if I'm holding something and thus can't steer. With the smart drive I can go miles farther than I'd ever walked. It's really a great feeling to accomplish something that you usually wouldn't be able to.

[@annieparreta]

I love my wheelchair, as my health started rapidly declining last year, myself and boyfriend immediately agreed that a wheelchair would help, I had hesitation the first time we used it but after a few minutes of actually being out and enjoying myself being able to walk my dogs and have fun with my boyfriend it was incredible, haven't looked back since, we use it everytime we leave the house , I'm so thankful for it, without out I'd be housebound and miserable missing out on life. My Instagram's @annieparrete if anyone wants to see cute photos of me and my dogs in the wheelchair and my poor boyfriend having to push all of us

[@SparklyBelle]

I can’t have others push me - it feels like I’m a child and it take away all my ability to choose where to go. It took a long time to try a wheelchair and I now use an electric wheelchair and the world opened up. I was avoiding going places as I was in too much pain and when I did go I couldn’t enjoy it as I was in agony. The electric wheelchair gives me the choice and mobility so the best of both worlds.

[@groders74]

Here we use an E-fix E35 wheelchair when the shape is poor. A wheelchair is a tool to avoid getting so much pain later ;)

[@MrA2Zor029]

Footless Jo! Really lovely Shirt! Please do not shoot yourself in the foot. I have found wheelchairs very useful for getting on & off planes. love Steve Holliday

[@robertnewman4854]

When I was in boarding school one of my best friends was in a wheelchair. We got to talking once and he said something about it that really stuck with me: He could easily look at it as a symbol of how he can't do certain things and needs help from others, or as a means to allow him to do things and choose to accept help from others, it didn't just give him an easier time and relative independence, It gave him the power to decide for himself. I know that you have a choice in the matter, but perhaps if you view it less as a concession to your pain and convenience, and more as a choice that YOU can make for yourself it might help it be more approachable.

[@quicktastic]

It's very stressful on people to see someone suffer and struggle and possibly cause themselves further injury and refuse to accept even the simplest and most logical help. Accept the help, heal and live to fight another day stronger.

[@eladnarra]

I have a chronic illness and use a wheelchair in airports and museums (and other places where there's a lot of walking and standing around). I haven't got one of my own, since it's hard to justify the expense when I don't go out much, but it's really helpful to be able to rent one! Most of my negative feelings with wheelchairs stem from not feeling "disabled enough" to use one, and being afraid of people judging me since I don't look like I need one. So I can't really say I know how you feel - but I do know that the more I used one, the easier it got, and the more I could see how it helped.

[@luzangelahernandez8749]

I have a scooter, the best purchase of my life!!!!

[@VinVanNo]

The fact that you were able to push yourself to accept that help is incredible in itself. You making this video is a show of independence. Love you queen! ps. never apologize for getting help. True friends will never think it is a burden or any less fun because I bet you just being with them made everything all the more incredible.

[@Natasha-yq6df]

Oh my gosh, I do this all the time. Not with wheelchairs (not what I need currently), but all the time even with wanting to ask doctors questions or bring up concerns. :p It's almost like I feel like I have to earn/deserve help even from doctors! Ugh, lol Good on your friends for making you use the chair in the airport when you really need it. Take the wheelchair on your trip Jo! And maybe look into a more independent chair. You don't want to fix the issues with your lower leg and then have long term knee issues. People want to help. : )

[@ravenrose6672]

Hi Jo! My biggest problem with wheelchairs is that I feel bad about how much space they take up in a car and the loading and unloading of them makes me feel like a burdon. I do not drive myself due to anxiety issues so depending on my oldest son who I live with to take me places is hard because he works a lot of hours so I am always stuck. Our house is not wheelchair friendly so I am constantly on my bad foot which has me in tears everyday. I wish I was more independent and hoping my amputation will end up helping me regain some.

[@gaypreator8547]

Beware - but manageable - Above the Knee May become a reality. Pride - the fall - and all the jazz. Take care of that Knee. Massage- massage-massage every day. 🍀

[@amputee_basics1149]

Accepting help allows others to be charitable. I have met guys that have had a prosthetic leg for 15, 20, 30 years who have the wheelchair as a back up for events like your recent conference. You may find you can enjoy events more just knowing you don't have to do it the hard way.

[@oliviapetrowski4553]

6:24 “I repeatedly shoot myself in the foot.” 😂😂😂 I love your humor

[@mallorylischer]

I use a wheelchair to get from my bedroom to my bathroom while not using my prosthetic. Hopefully moving to a place where the bathroom is attached soon. I was thinking about going to the conference next week but decided not to.. maybe next year.

[@tyfalcon467]

I broke down and started using my chair again and it's been a life saver. I'm so much more independent. My current chair has a power option so I can lock it easily and it wont be pushable. I hate being pushed too. Its degrading, scary. My buddy has a smart drive and if insurance will cover it it's a great tool. You can still self propel if that's good for you but it helps so much.

[@drewharris7785]

P.S. I can actually do MORE in my wheelchair than I can on foot; possibly because I need crutches to stand, but I'm actually way more independent in my chair (I also hate when people insist on pushing me; I can do it myself, darn it!)

[@notapplicable2636]

I do despise push chairs, however is better than not going out of the house at all... The self capable of being pushed along chairs work better for me..

[@thaiseathaydesantos]

Is it too hard to push? I can't afford an electric wheelchair right now, but Ehlers-danlos Syndrome makes my arms weak I'm looking for a foldable chair, so it can fit in any car

[@notapplicable2636]

@@thaiseathaydesantos no, it isn't that they are hard to push, what I mean by "push chair" is those that require a secondary pusher... The ones that have wheels capable of being self pushed are my preference, as with a standard wheelchair... Scooters however are ideal if you can fit them in areas you need to go...

[@thaiseathaydesantos]

@@notapplicable2636 I got the push chair thing, I was just wondering if I can push myself for long, since my shoulders, arms and hands dislocate, but it must be easier than crutches, which I'm currently using. Scooters can only do small distances, I miss being out, walking (I still don't have a chair, just crutches, so can't go long distances), just not being either at home or somewhere I really need to be. I'm thinking about buying a folding wheelchair, so I can fit it in any car and go about my day once I'm where I'm going

[@hez_am_i2448]

@@thaiseathaydesantos you can get an electric assist third wheel sort of thing for manual chairs, they can help with hills or just when your feeling a bit tired. I don't use one myself only seen people using them but could be worth a look.

[@woodfordtheservicegolden884]

I was that way too but I bought one for myself a year ago. I have an autonomic nervous system disorder that my doctors have ordered me a brand new custom fit chair to use until we can get it better. I was and am very much like you. Matter of fact I hate when people push me... if you order one, see if it can come with fold down push handles. You can hide them when you don’t want help and it’s great!

[@hopecaitlin2529]

It’s bringing back memories listening to you speak on this, it’s so hard and I know exactly the emotions you’re feeling. When I was able to accept help and have amazing people around me fundraise for a light and wonderful self propelled wheelchair, having something I can use slightly more independently gave me a new lease of life. I still struggle being pushed (I also despise it when lovely strangers touch and move my chair without asking!) but it gives me freedom and I’ve finally been able to see it for what it is, a tool to help me live the life I know I can to achieve everything I set out to do. It is hard, but it’s so worth it I promise x

[@souixaan]

Having a chair you can manage yourself with the option of help is so much different to having to be pushed all the time. it took me a long time to stop struggling and use a chair. at first i borrowed one like yours but buying my own chair that fit my needs was the best thing i did, once i got my head round the fact it was my independence and was not taking anything away from me my life improved so much. you can get really nice chairs that dont look to frumpy and only for older people now. mine almost looks like a high end bike, its so comfortable and light to push myself to. if you can get use of a decent chair for a little while you will feel the difference. i hope you find a pain minimizing solution soon.

[@emilylynch2596]

WOW!!! This video resonates with me so much. Thank you Jo for your honesty. I have ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia, I use SmartCrutches on days when I my pain is high or energy low. I should really use them more but like you said accepting assistance is so hard. I struggle on and on days when I am less able I hate myself for having to ask for help. I hope your week goes well and you succeed on your mission to be more open to assistance to stay independent. Bless you xx

[@carlcushmanhybels8159]

Helping helps the helpers too. This helps me accept help sometimes; as well as give it. On longer supermarket shopping trips I enjoy and am grateful to use an electric cart. People smile and offer to help reach an item or... And are eagerly happy to have helped someone.

[@bellab8792]

I struggled for a bit to except help, but I eventually realized after many sprain ankles and time spent in air casts and a walking boot that I wasn’t getting anywhere but trying to do everything, it takes time and thought and realizing there is nothing wrong or weak about excepting help, it just means that in order to enjoy life you may need a helping hand every once in a while. I wish you the best of luck in your healing, thank you for all you do though your channel for your followers.

[@anneharrison1849]

I’ve needed mobility help for 14 years. For a while I had a wheelchair that I could self propel but only indoors and even then not long distance. I got a custom wheelchair nearly 3 years ago and it’s been life changing. I can do so many things independently that I couldn’t before. Also, I can walk, but when I use my wheelchair I feel free, I can turn on the spot, I can go fast or slow, it a step towards what I imagine being able to fly is like, it’s so liberating compared to walking. “In a wheelchair” is not typical phrasing in British English and I always make sure to use more positive language, to the extent I encourage wheelchair using Americans I meet online to start using positive language.

[@GabbyTTran]

As a another disabled women wheelchair is a big help my having different chronic conditions, aside from a physical disability. The more help you is get is helpful, I am glad you are getting more open to having more support. Always here for you Jordan!

[@juni_purr]

Jo, I hear you about "riding the struggle bus." Sometimes it's my main mode of transportation, LOL. I needed to see this video to face this aspect of myself. Thanks for posting it, and good luck in your travels.

[@Mr.Quinlan888]

If I were your husband, I'd buy you a wheelchair and tell you to stop being stubborn. The key wording would be, "It'll help you heal faster."😂😂 I'm a stubborn mule (my wife and mother always tell me) and refused to use a wheelchair at first, but then I realized that the swelling and pain in my nubbin' went down dramatically when I was using my chair instead of using crutches. You don't have to buy a real expensive chair (I have one that costs over $3k), I bought one from Amazon that costs $120 called the Drive Blue Streak. It works so well for me getting around the house and yard when I'm not using my prosthesis. I also used it going around town and never had any issues with it. Matter of fact that chair has been a lifesaver. Cheers Jo!!😎👍👍

[@goglu2]

I guess he knows Jo all to well, he doesn't want to sleep in the dog house for a few days ;)

[@victoriafernandez8183]

I had a wheelchair for a while. I scared the heck out of my teachers going down ramps at full speed.

[@dakotajordyn5541]

I scare people everywhere going full speed. It’s awesome

[@anastasiadavis3815]

No one pushes me when I’m in my wheelchair. I am in Uber around all on my own.

[@benjimw]

I get that concept a lot! College did a great job of beginning to open my mind to how important accepting it

[@carriebolton202]

Hey Jo! You are my favorite.. 😁😁 enjoy your day!

[@FootlessJo]

Awwww thanks Carrie!!

[@astridmyst]

This is so important to talk about! Not only do we want to be independent but also in a way we are all brought up with the idea that asking for help is weak. If it's not told to you directly from people it's most likely implied by society. I personally am terrible at accepting help or even asking for it. Things have to be hospital/doctor level for me to do even the simplest thing like take pain medicine for period cramps. Even there I sort of minimized it. Also if I do accept or seek help because I have no other option there are many times I feel guilty and start having those "I should be able to do this on my own" thoughts. Or "this shouldn't be happening, it doesn't happen to other people" thoughts, as if that suddenly makes whatever it is disappear. It is difficult to fully accept help and accept that you need help. Best of wishes to anyone struggling with this!

[@richardmoss5934]

I still have all my parts but held together with titanium. It was during the healing stages that I realized how much help I needed; a lot of shopping can be delayed but food shopping is not in that category and supermarkets definitely are not for those with limited mobility!!

[@trixiesparkles6572]

I think your right that your being a little stubborn my fil was the same when it came to using his wheelchair.... But when it's a good option to stop your pain it can be there to help you rest .... You can still use your iwalk or crutches but the wheel chair is there for those real bad days when your leg and knee are just not happy ❤️❤️

[@sarablackwolfdancer9359]

I recently took the plunge and started using a wheelchair because crutches or a walker are not feasible for me (shoulders and elbows are too unstable). I bought an old beat up depot chair at a thrift store, and it has made a significant improvement in my day to day life. I'm in the midst of the process of getting insurance to pay for a custom ultralight weight wheelchair and I'm really excited at the prospect of not being in constant pain when doing everyday stuff, and having more mobility without needing help! Intellectually you know it would be a good thing, but emotionally it takes time. Really, wheelchairs increase your independence if you get one that fits and works properly!

[@valprem6401]

The secret is to NOT CARE and do what makes your life simpler, so if it means asking for help, or choosing a wheelchair to have diffrernent means for moving besides walking, its ok. Love from Israel

[@ashh6565]

Hi Jo! To start, I am able bodied and don’t have the experience of navigating using a mobility aid in our ableist culture. I have been very close to someone who uses a wheelchair and they introduced me to the social model of disability which emphasizes barriers of society’s structure being the root of disability, not the actual impairment/difference itself. I’ve heard from many wheelchair users who fully view their chair as an amazing, empowering tool. People often say “confined to a wheelchair” as though the wheelchair is somehow trapping the user when really wheelchairs can empower people to live their lives more fully. On the risk of giving unsolicited/unwanted advice, I’d encourage you to connect with folks in the disability community to perhaps learn about another viewpoint (if that’s something you’re interested in)

[@chronicallyfabulous88]

100% second this 🙂 Disability Twitter has been life-changing, for me. Search hashtags like #DisabledAndCute #HellaInaccessible #JustAskDontGrab to find ppl to follow & talk to 👍

[@hume6900]

Ash H, I too am able bodied and therefore do not have the experience of using mobility aids in our culture other than on a very temporary basis or two. (A broken ankle where I was put directly into a walking cast - crutches for a few days while the cast dried and set and a back spasm where I couldn’t straighten up - a cane). I volunteer for our local rehab centre affiliated with the major hospital in my city in the resource centre. I also had the experience of a family member who had a b/k amputation with a prosthesis. This is unsolicited admittedly, but, I am all for tools that are empowering and encourage independence. That is all a wheelchair is a tool, an object like a prosthetic leg. It is not demeaning, just the opposite. Because of the last two statements I would encourage you to seriously consider one if only to use on your really bad days, who knows you may find that the benefits are worth it. In closing, Jo, I just want to say that you are an amazing and inspiring person.

[@sherryware]

Very good subject today. I broke my ankle New Year's day and am still dealing with it. I reluctantly accepted the airlines wheelchair assistance to get thru security and to my gate. Using my cane (I'm stubborn about using crutches) and my boot brace all that way would have been way too slow and painful. Pain overcame pride for me, eventually! I'm 8 months into this. I watch your videos wondering if your experience is my future. Your smile and your positive attitude really help me. Thanks for sharing. 😀

[@theannechann642]

I understand in a way that struggle. For me I hate showing pain. If I hurt my ankle or something I tend to say it as casual as possible. Even though it hurts I act as though it’s nothing. I hide it because I don’t know what kind of reaction I will get. My friend is trying to help me with this by saying that I shouldn’t fake it and that it’s better not to push it.

[@LaurA-sl7oz]

I am a fellow chronic pain sufferer. I have a couple of autoimmune and migraine issues. I HATE accepting help/ accepting I am UNABLE to do things. I found that personalising my mobility aids to me has helped me accept them more. I have the coolest set of pink, flowery crutches. I get comments on how cool they are now, rather than why I am using them. I still get odd looks in my wheelchair, like you, I don't look sick. I don't even have a missing leg!!!! (ha, sorry, sark sense of humour!) It has taken me nearly 10 years to apply for a disabled parking badge. Today was the first time we really used it and it was a god send!! Good friends have been the key for me to start accepting help. Not because it makes it easier to do, but because they make me do. Tough love. You're very brave to talk about this issues I think its a mindset a lot of 'us' have. We try and make up for the fact our body has let us down. That makes us stubborn and determined, which can be great or can be our downfall!! Thank you!! Live from the UK!

[@alexschwartz7967]

Get one with the big wheels where you can push yourself, and the handles if you need help but if you don't want to be pushed, express that.

[@courtneyjacobs5899]

You are so strong you have got this ❤ I believe in you

[@eugenemakes]

Using mobility aids adds to my independence, not the other way around. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be moving as well, or feeling as good. I think it’s empowering to be able to do something for your wellbeing, and that can include sitting your butt in a wheelchair. You touched upon a lot of good points in your video about accepting help- these modes of thinking are what helped me get over my stubbornness. Now you just have to follow your own advice! Good luck ❤️

[@EricaHLjung]

If you invest in a wheelchair, buy one without handles: that way no one can push you!

[@FootlessJo]

Hahaha I love that!!!

[@sierra8451]

I feel this video! I almost cried when my mom forced me into a wheelchair in Walmart. I hated it so much, but not having pain made it a little better. Mom always tells me that my first sentence was "I can do it."

[@berglettemom6045]

I totally get this, Jo. I freely admit to my doctors that I’m pretty “noncompliant” when it comes to taking/doing/using things that might help me. It’s about being independent and exerting control. Smh, kind of dumb but I doubt I’ll ever change.

[@monkeystrongmedic4115]

I gave in and got a wheelchair today, I cried. The freedom it has given me in the past 18 hours has been amazing. I normally ask my bf if I look how I feel, and Yes is said more than no. I was not so great at hiding how bad I felt.

[@leeartlee915]

Dude, I’m still amazed how (in general) your disposition is so level headed. I would have lost my shit many times over if I was in your shoes. Go you!!

[@FeralWench]

I thought I'd add that there are manual wheelchairs you can get that are power-assisted. You still push the wheelchair by yourself, but you get a boost of help from the power-assisted wheels. It's a great way of saving your arms, and it's way less bulky and heavy than an electric wheelchair. It can also be lifted up and put into a can or van, whereas you can't do that with an electric wheelchair. I'd definitely consider that! :)

[@dancingpianofairy]

I broke my knee in three places when I was in college, including a tibial plateau fracture. I physically didn't have the upper body strength for crutches for more than a few minutes at a time. Since it was my knee, so many other things weren't options like a knee scooter or the iWalk, so I was just walking weight bearing on that fracture, splitting the bone more with every step. The only real option was a wheelchair. When I finally admitted that and gave in, my life was so much better. It just made things so much easier.

[@AmputeeRider]

Hey Jo, see you in San Antonio, ill be at the Conf Thursday morning. Travel tip: Look up mobility places in San Antonio, they can rent you a wheelchair for like 10 bucks a day and will deliver it to the hotel and pick it up when you leave. I do this a lot when I travel for work. Hope we can chat more face to face this weekend.

[@FootlessJo]

I’d love to see you there!! 😀 I’ll be there tomorrow morning! that is an awesome travel tip - I really appreciate that! 💜

[@kansaskajun]

Jo, I too have a problem accepting help from others. When I lost my second leg I was forced into a wheelchair temporarily, it drove me crazy having to accept help from my family, subconsciously I felt it made me look weak. I was able to transition out of the wheelchair eventually but it took some time so I know exactly how you feel. It’s easier said than done but until you get your next operation and your permanent prosthetic accept all the help you can. Hang in there. Ken

[@davehill5105]

It's a pride thing. I used to hate using a wheelchair, but sometimes you just have to. Be kinder to yourself. It's ok to. Accept help.

[@michellebeebelewisfrith1544]

Check into either a chair lift for stairs. Or a house elevator. Though I do believe that the less expensive of the two is the chair glid

[@GiftSparks]

I can totally relate. But as an exercise, it’s nice to focus on being accepting. I tend to want to do everything myself-- even it it means doing things badly or not at all. But more recently I’ve started to think, “If someone offers anything, say ‘yes.” “ You have the opportunity to bring them joy by being helpful. Accepting help is not being needy at all.

[@chronicallyfabulous88]

Jo, what you're talking about here is called internalised ableism and the truth is, we ALL deal with it -- whether we're born with a disability (like myself) or acquire one. Internalised ableism manifests differently for different ppl, but it's always harmful. You can be absolutely not ableist at all towards others, but still apply ableist standards & expectations & limitations to yourself. Personally, my disabilities stem from a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and the course my disease has taken has been degenerative (tho that's not the case for every EDS patient). I've had to deal with losing independence & I recently talked to my pain specialist about applying to the NDIS (here in Australia) for funding for a motorised wheelchair and what he said really surprised me. "I'm really glad you've made that decision & I agree that it's the right one for you & your life, right now. It's important that you got here on your own & realised all this for yourself, but now it's time to accept help." He's been treating me for over a decade, now & knows exactly how stubborn I am & how much I put myself thru for the sake of independence & Getting Shit Done. And I do think that complex is different for men & women, in the way we're socially cultured, because women are expected to be care-givers, not care-receivers. It is FAR more socially accepted for an abled woman to have a disabled husband than the other way around, because our society demands of us that we look after everyone else & lauds us when we do that to our own detriment. It's pretty messed up, tbh. Personally, I LOVE looking after other ppl & I'm quite proud of being really damn good at that & at being there for the ppl I love in whatever way they need. I WANT them to feel comfortable accepting help & to know that they deserve to receive it. But applying that to myself is a completely different matter. I've gotten significantly better at accepting & even asking for help, over my 30yrs, but even after that long, it's still something I struggle with, daily. I see how frustrating & upsetting it is for the ppl who love me to see me suffer for "no good reason" (as if it's ever that simple), but even that doesn't make it easier to combat in my own mind. You're absolutely not alone in this & I encourage you to do some reading on internalised ableism. I hope this is helpful to you & sincerely wish you 100% awesomeness 💖

[@jwharris417]

I totally feel ya. I don’t really feel like I’ve done a good job with anything unless I had to struggle with it.

[@FootlessJo]

Uh that’s totally it - unless it was a struggle, was it *really* an accomplishment? I say that was sarcasm because of course things can be, but my warped perspective tells me no, too. 😉

[@johndej]

For me, accepting or asking for help has always been a difficult process. Part of this involves the degree of 'control' I'm willing to give up. And, unfortunately, part of it involves how much I trust the person offering help. When I was still teaching, I often had parent volunteers wanting to do things for me. I always had difficulty finding things that they could do that I was willing to 'let go'. Too many of these things resulting in much more work for me because I had to redo or correct everything that was done. Also, taking the time to explain how to do things often took longer to do than just doing it myself. On the other hand, I LOVE to help other people out if I can. So I know how those who wanted to help me felt. It was often a weird situation. I hope this make sense. Thanks for letting me vent!

[@allisoneuph1]

Accepting my wheelchair was such a hard decision. Seeing how different my pain was changed my mind. My wheelchair gives me so much freedom and is my wings.

[@FootlessJo]

That’s amazing to hear! I’m so glad! I hope to get to the same place. 💜

[@amandasheehan5582]

I understand totally as a wheelchair user. I have a chair that I self propel plus it’s super lightweight. I’m lucky to be in the UK and wheelchair services have helped me get an active user chair. These are different from regular chair and much easier to use. My chair is a quickie argon 2 which isn’t the lightest chair you can get but I love it plus I can’t personally afford a different chair. You can also rent these types of chairs. I still hate using my chair but have come to terms with the fact it helps me when I need it. I hope you can get one that you get on with and it helps you to make things easier xxx

[@nicolabannister3582]

I think the way I view it is pretty much what you said. People like to help and usually feel good about helping you. So when I ask for help or accept help, I think of it as me helping the other person feel good for helping me. It takes practise! And yes, I am now binge watching your videos ❤

[@jimlockhart7479]

Hi, Jo, I had a stroke about 18 months ago, I was in a wheelchair for a couple weeks,then I taught / made myself get up and walk again. I still don’t walk well, but I’m not gonna sit in a chair as long as I can help it! It’s tough living after stroke but I’m doing as well as I can!Thanks!!

[@ginnyweasleyfan4223]

Footless Jo I know how you feel, as I too have a ton of pride and want to do stuff on my own, but I have such a messed up lower body and leg system, so I have to bite down on my pride and have to seek for help, so don’t worry about having to ask for help. I know I have to, or I will be in a world of pain, so my suggestion would be look for help when you can get it, because no matter if you ask for help doesn’t mean you are not independent. I have to ask for help on a daily basis because I can’t do much on my own without help from my mom, unless it means I have small set of steps to walk up and a pretty level walk way. So, it helps to ask for the help and not be ashamed for the help you need.

[@charles8801]

It's the Pride of doing it myself thing. No shame. But we need the assistance now and then. Stay beautiful and strong.

[@lj7667]

Im not an amputee but my chair let's me get out and have a much better quality of life than I would have without it. A lightweight manual chair is a life saver, they're so much easier to self propel than the bulky hospital style chairs and they also generally look really sleek. At the end of the day a chair is a tool, just like reading glasses or a prosthetic. If it can improve your quality of life and you have the option to add one to your toolkit then I'd say go for it. Love your videos and the pups are gorgeous!

[@thaiseathaydesantos]

I went from totally mobile (but still with chronical pain) to crutches in the last 4 years. I finally accepted I need a wheelchair. I usually get an Uber, walk very little and make it work, but realized I'm not doing many things I really want to because I can't walk much. I'm currently saving for a foldable wheelchair, so I can go places, "walk" with my husband, live a bit in the outdoors again. Foldable because goes in any Uber, we chose not no have a car. Definitely not an easy choice, I took my time, but it's time to be able to live a better life, even if I need a wheelchair for it.

[@weronikasadowska7289]

Once my frends suggested that we better take a car for a road where I used to walk. It was hard to accept the thought that things had changed, but now I appreciate their support.

[@paleo114]

Not Wheelchair Jo but Scooter Jo.

[@mitzid4176]

I know for me getting a custom chair I could push made a huge difference in the way I see my chair.

[@DarinMcGrew]

My wife used to work as a teaching assistant with blind elementary students. One girl really struggled with the idea of using a white cane. She was constantly "losing" her white cane, and refused to use it except when her mobility instructor forced her to use it. It's easy for others to say "get over it" but it's the person involved who has to make that emotional journey.

[@Uhohohno319]

I only have the use of one hand due to a stroke. Of course, living in a two-handed world, a LOT of stuff is trouble for me to do. When people ask if they can help, my knee-jerk response is I got it. After 14 years, though, I’ve learned to accept the help (sometimes) or even ask for it (again, sometimes).

[@edge0fheaven690]

I wish you the strength to get over being hard on yourself. You have been through so much and think of a wheel chair as a well deserved break. Both physically and mentally.

[@CinkSVideo]

My wheelchair allows me to do things on my own that no other mobility device does. Before I got my good chair I propel myself, I truly hated being pushed by someone in the transport chair. Worth every penny.

[@alyssav7312]

I have SUCH a hard time reaching out to my closest friends to hang out when I’m feeling depressed or when I can feel my depression on the brink of stopping me from doing something I actually want to do. Even with my two best friends, one who knows what it’s like, I push myself away from them cause I don’t think they’d want to be with me when I know that couldn’t be further from the truth. I get really frustrated with myself over it but I don’t know how to avoid it

[@francescoleman-williams911]

A wheelchair that someone else has to push IS taking away your independence; when I’ve had to use one, I’ve hated it...sitting there and letting someone else indulge their desire to help is not my idea of fun. But when I broke both my legs... I used a wheelchair I could push myself and I absolutely loved it!! I did it myself 90% of the time and accepted help the other 10% (for example when I flipped myself out backwards 😳 ) You’ve gotta do what’s right for you. Wheelchair or no wheelchair, neither is wrong. As always, great video Jo 💜💜

[@brittanyjacobsen6508]

My boyfriend has an ak as well as bk amputation uses a wheels hair at home and prosthetics out. He is in pain using prosthetics so his walking is limited. He was very strongly not wanting to be seen in his wheelchair without his legs on in public. We went on a week Alaskan cruise and I convinced him to feel like this was his home for the week so take the legs off and go out in your wheelchair. He did and found that after a few looks he was able to go and do whatever he wanted Without pain. It gave him so much freedom! That now we go to arena events and use his wheelchair in hotels he’s willing and excited to use his wheelchair wherever he wants to go that takes a lot of walking. It allows him time which his prosthetics didn’t. So many options!! Good luck girl should you decide to use your wheelchair you could find a different kind of happiness that will outweigh your pride and anxiety.

[@michellesimons5634]

Working at a food bank for 17 years, I've had 100s of conversations with hurting people around the idea of receiving help or making things easier for yourself in an otherwise difficult situation. The people who struggled the most with being helped were often people who would give help the most. Challenging them on their self critical and illogical thinking usually shifted their perspective so they could be self compassionate more easily. I think there are parallels to experiencing poverty and all of the circumstances that go with it and having a struggle with physical limitations. Self compassion is so important. As far as not being ok with being pushed around in wheel chair, it may be connected to other deep emotions that have nothing to do with mobility. God bless your inner and outer healing on this matter.

[@bluedeva]

I know exactly where you at with accepting that using a wheelchair makes your life easier and so much less painful. I used to hate my wheelchair and had the same reaction when my friends pushed me into using it. Its still a hard thing to finally accept and I prefer to use my prosthetic but I’m no longer so negative about using it. When I take my leg off I’m in my wheelchair and i see it as protecting my ‘goodleg’. I have a wheelchair that has a low back and is lightweight and it suits my needs it has made my life so much easier. (I went for the low back option as I hate people pushing me around like a child, I have fold down handles so I can still be independent and wheel myself). I found being able to customise it (colour,accessories) helps me accept it more. I also use a kick scooter🛴 with my prosthetic for going long distances and rough terrain. I’m sure you will meet many ampies that are preferring using their wheelchairs at the AC Conference and they maybe able to advise you how they accepted their wheelchairs and what models may suit you more than the one you have at home. I know it’s such a huge decision and it’s really not easy. Sending huge hugs and wishing you have the best time at the ACC 🤗🤗🤗🤗PS go say hi to George and the guys at Lim Innovations Infinite Socket Booth (tell them Poli sends her 🤗 from 🇬🇧)

[@MCscarfacematt]

the wheel chair is a great option when going distances like airports, malls, convention centers. the thing i hated is when id get pushed my pusher always was so close to the person walking infront of me the foot rest would catch their heels. and theyd turn around and give me the death stare when i wasnt in control of speed i was being pushed. it drove me nuts to the point i wheeled off and struggled myself to wheel around a mall or car show with one arm and one leg so i could control the speed and distance between me and the person infront of me

[@zoew6447]

I really understand where you are coming from. I have a self propelled wheelchair which I use on bad days. It’s been made especially to my measurements and isn’t heavy or bulky. I mainly propel myself so I am independent and not relying on others. I hate being wheeled around by others as I don’t feel in control of where I’m going. But wheeling myself definitely has a different feel to it and I feel more independent than if I didn’t have it x

[@danielle9074]

I hate being pushed in a wheelchair, because people treat me like I have even less agency than usual. But I have a really sweet (expensive) power chair, and and a really sweet (expensive) manual wheelchair that I can self-propel or be pushed in when needed. I love my wheelchairs. I've used one full-time since age five, I'm now 29. Because I have moderate CP there is no other functional alternative for me. I definitively have resisted forms of help I don't want or need though, and I understand the feeling you are talking about, fully. Like when somebody wants to lift me during a transfer. "It's like: "No, I can stand and take steps. I am doing this transfer on my own because that's what I'm capable of." Damn their desire to help. The key thing is is that wheelchair use is very deeply engrained in my self-concept, so it's not threatening to me. Everyone's is drawn in a different place when it comes to their 'acceptable' level of independence. It's sounds like your line could use some adjustment though. I think it would help to get a wheelchair that fits your body really well, felt good to sit in, and (vain though it may sound) is in a colour that makes you happy. Wheelchairs can be amazing pieces of technology, and they can make you feel sexy and powerful. Similar to trying on a fancy dress, or driving a convertible. But very much doubt the $100 number from the medical supply store, will help you achieve that mindset. Getting to that mental space is well worth it, even if going through insurance to get a wheelchair is massive pain in the ass. I'm cheering for you on this journey!

[@AJBcreative]

I'm horrible at accepting help. I have a chronic illness that makes me dizzy a lot of the time. And even though I know bending down to pick up something might make me black out and have to stand still for a few minutes I still do it. Even when my husband is right there and getting ready to pick up whatever it was for me. Its a hard habit to break.

[@finntheace6205]

I was on a knee scooter for about 3 months last year and I would always try to carry way too much stuff in my arms and wouldn’t ask for help 90% of the time but with my friend who is in a wheelchair I am constantly badgering her to let me help her, double standards are super fun

[@Fred2303]

I have problems with asking for help. Two years ago weeks before my first knee surgery I was in a lot of pain. I was too stubborn to admitt to myself that calling in sick at work would have been the right thing to do. I went to work and started to cry like halfway through my shift because every tiny step caused so much pain. My boss asked me why I was crying and when I explained it to him he told me to go home and take care of myself. I tried to convince him that it wasn't too bad because I felt somehow ashamed of beind in too much pain to function. Luckily my boss forced me to go home. Guess what! I actually felt better when I could sit down the rest of the day. So, yeah, I get where you're coming from.

[@annat850]

Not sure if shorting yourself in the foot is a great idea. Especially with only having one. Jokes aside I love your channel. As someone with mental health struggles I guess I look up to you and how you deal with your own battles xxxx

[@samanthaandrews8052]

As someone with joint issues it was so hard for me to accept help my senior year of high school, my knee caps won’t stay in place and I was on crutches for most of my senior year. And every so often my knees will give out and put me back on crutches for a period of time and accepting help during that is so hard because like you I want to have that independence

[@Nwnomad410]

My sons girlfriend (17yo) track star and female power lifter was in a car accident yesterday and burned both her legs. Her right leg had to be removed (below the knee). She also cracked her pelvis and punctured a lung. She will be awaken and informed about her leg tomorrow evening. We are all very concerned about her reaction. Finding your channel yesterday has been a great tool in helping me understand the steps she will go through in her rehab. Thank you for sharing your story!!

[@LittleLulubee]

I'm so sorry. I will pray for her 🙏💕

[@_ZombieDoll_]

I switch between using a walking stick, walker/rollator, wheelchair and mobility scooter depending on the situation and they have all given me so much freedom and independence (even though I haven't left the house by myself in years. That might be a whole thing, idk) I have one of those great invisible illnesses and I'm still in my early 20s so I get stared at a lot and that's the thing that is hardest for me. Sometimes people look me up and down, determine I am not disabled, and the look of sheer disgust on their faces makes me stomach churn and I hate it. So I started covering them in stickers and attaching keychains and bags and whatever else I could find, it didn't stop people from staring, but it drew their attention away from me and sometimes even makes people smile. It's still hard and I still get insecure but it's easier, and it's a fun creative outlet too.

[@Sikizu]

I'm usually pretty vocal to people around me how my ankle's doing, but I'm awful at asking for pain meds if I've run out/don't have any on me (which I usually do). The worst thing is when you're in so much pain you can't remember that asking them for ibuprofen is an option. Lots of tears over that one... (and one of my best friends saying "you're... really strong")

[@___jocavs]

"I don't have that thought about other people but as soon as it's about me I get SO upset" You have just put so eloquently and perfectly how I feel about my c-section. Having a C-section doesn't make anyone a lesser mum, but I HATE that I had to have one and couldn't give birth. Would I dare say to someone else that they didn't 'give birth' cause they had a c-section, Christ no! But it's how I feel about me. I know I need to re-evaluate, but hearing this really does feels like a punch in the gut. Sorta. A good one.

[@susanb1511]

Sometimes changing perspectives can help. Wheelchairs, iWalks, crutches and prosthesis are all just tools used at different times and in different ways to assist us.

[@heidibaltom8138]

Someone once told.me that i dont have to struggle. I am not an amputee. And i realised they were right i dont have to steuggle with things when there is an easier way to cope. Its not a sign of weakness to accept help. In fact its a sign of strength because you have recognised that you need help and that is a great thing