I Investigated My Neighbor And Discovered His Infidelity With His Boss r/Relationships

[@Azulakayes]

Last story: OP's spirit is broken he doesn't even know he is being abused. Poor poor man.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

He got abused his whole life by his parent, being abused is normal to him so that's understandable. When/if he leave her and find a good person, he'll finaly realise what he has been missing this whole time ! How little satisfied him. Someone who eat shit their whole life will find dirt delicious ...

[@CanyonALynn]

Last story: I'm sorry but the OPs wife is *awful* and there's no excuse. Just the act of not bothering to remember her SO's date of birth makes it seem like she don't give a F about him. Like that one commenter said, she DARVO'd him, and he's not realizing that his wife is toxic.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

He essentially married his parents in the guise of the wife.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

His wife is cheating on him, he "kind of" knows it but he is such a simp he refuses to rock the boat. He will always be a doormat because that is the way he learned to be growing up. The wife doesn't love him otherwise she would have literally jumped to him after finding out she forgot his birthday. She didn't and just yelled at him and blamed him for her not remembering LOL HOLY F*CK, who does that??? Someone with no respect or love for their partner. The OP is just the father figure and ATM for the kid (probably not even his). She is getting the attention and love she needs from elsewhere and doesn't need nor want any from the OP and as such, she won't give him any either.

[@dummygirl1201]

Glad that OP told the pregnant wife. I'd want to know, too. It's better for her to cut her losses now instead of finding out years later through a disease or something

[@KlaudiaShaefferr]

Didn’t OP wait till the wife gave birth?

[@tfrtrouble]

OP didn't tell the wife at all. He told her family instead (by leaving a note on their rental car). Because this patronizing AH apparently think women aren't competent to make their own decisions and their nearest male relatives need to make their decision for them.

[@orlennmurphy6843]

Especially given it turns out he’s been carrying on with sex workers. That’s so much riskier than even hooking up. Honestly, I was with OP on waiting until the wife gave birth, but that knowledge makes me think she probably did need to know sooner. But hindsight is 20/20. At least it seems to have worked out as well as it could, given the circumstances.

[@helenafarkas4534]

story 2: *IF* OP's wife was genuine, her response to forgetting OP's birthday would be immediate appologies followed by an immediate declaration to make it up to OP sometime soon - take him out to dinner, make the cake with the daughter, etc. she didn't. Note that *OP* was the one to oranize the alternate celebration for himself. she doesn't love him, full stop. one of three things is going to happen from now on: either this happens every year going forward, OP organizes his own birthday from now on, or he leaves her selfish ass and finds someone who actually appreciates him. I know which one I'm voting for.

[@robertx8020]

It would NOT surprise me if he brings in the money and she is a SAHM and uses him as an ATM!

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Christ, op2 is in such a miserable situation She KNOWS how important having his birthday remembered is. But she blames being tired for *checks notes* Telling him HIS BIRTHDAY ISN’T IMPORTANT DESPITE KNOWING HOW HE FEELS ABOUT THAT. I’ve been fuckin’ bone tired before, man, but I sure as hell don’t forget a birthday and choose(yes this is a CHOICE) to yell at that person and put all blame on them. And the comments are right. If she’s willing to do it to him, there’s nothing saying she won’t do it to the daughter eventually. I don’t want to be like the usual reddit thing, but separation at least will be needed for OP. And therapy. He deserves a lot better.

[@NoLimitValkalis]

I'm also concerned what watching her mother yell at her sobbing father will do to the daughter's personality.

[@kitkakitteh]

Agree- she’s a GARBAGE partner. It’s not hard to make people feel remembered and special on their birthday. That’s just insane. That takes planning; to be an asshat. It’s important if birthdays are a thing in their culture- I get that it’s not in some.

[@msam2357]

@@NoLimitValkalis yes and I’m worried that the mother was yelling at the sobbing father so loudly that it woke up a four-year-old, that’s a lot of yelling. As adults, we know how to use our inside voices so we don’t disturb other’s around us. Anyone who has successfully gotten a child to bed knows this is important. Apparently she doesn’t. 🤷‍♀️ I think the DARVO commenter hit the mail on the head.

[@meirin5316]

all i could think after hearing that story was "holy gaslighting batman"

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

Sad thing is if you have a crappy family if the person you meet is even 1% better you think your lucky and gave a wonderful relationship! His horrible abusive family have a lot to answer for!

[@Jesse_E5150]

Story 2: That dude has very low self-esteem. He's happy with a wife who treats him like trash.

[@lynnw7155]

I wonder if OP does a big party for his wife, or she arranges it for herself. Still, just a card or a 'Happy Birthday" would be nice.

[@oompaloompa83]

You're totally right. WTAF was her response about how it's his fault anyway?

[@littlegreycat]

Sadly the bar is set really low because of the abuse and neglect he suffered from as a child. He needs therapy. She over reacted because she knew she as wrong and decided to be an ass about it instead of apologizing.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

​@@lynnw7155 OP said in reply to a comment that he goes all out on her birthdays, including vacations, because her birthday is important to her.

[@genevievemeuniere4047]

@@littlegreycat this 100%

[@RadioOppy1]

Story 2: I was giving the wife the benefit of the doubt and expected her reaction to be that she was horrified that she forgot and her wanting to make it up to you. But yelling at you and saying it’s not important. That’s just awful.

[@rai1578]

God, the second story makes me so sad. I just want to give this guy a big hug, make a nice cake, and throw him a nice birthday party. And convince him to get therapy ideally, so he can heal from his trauma and realize he deserves better than this.

[@mgaus]

Sad because you know he's being abūsèd and that there's little he can do because he's a dude and society isn't ready to rescue dudes

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: Thank you, OP, for keeping the mom and twins safe. You are a hero.

[@tfrtrouble]

OP is NOT a hero. They are a troubled obsessive creep with a hero complex. Being this obsessed with your neighbor's personal lives is not normal. And a hero would have told the woman right away, not spied on her for months and then told her brother! What kind of BS is that?! If brother was religious, for example, he might have blamed her or not even have told her. The woman deserves to know first and make her own decision.

[@raynellemccathern3018]

Story 2: This sounds similar to the other story where the Op's birthday, father's day, or any other special occasions are forgotten by his wife and 4 daughters.

[@mamm7223]

Last story: That is so incredibly sad! Years with his parents conditioned him to feel worthless and undeserving, and his wife has carried on with that. But SHE expects/deserves/demands big celebrations on her birthday. If I were OP, I would let her next birthday slide by without a single word or gift. Actions have consequences. You are right, Mark...................the update left me feeling even sadder. Poor OP.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: *"wife told me that it's partly my fault anyway because I should've reminded her that it was my birthday but I didn't and I agree with that."* Wow... This is such a callous response. Poor man

[@ruthsaunders9507]

Not really. Birthday's aren't as big a deal to a lot of adults and many are just bad with remembering dates. If its that important to you, remind them.

[@carlrood4457]

He clearly said hers WAS important to her and he does it up. Outside something like a birth or death, there's no excuse for not saying a simple Happy Birthday to your spouse.

[@pikachu7572]

Yeah the whole thing is emotional abuse. Yelling at him loud enough to wake up the baby when he was quietly crying on his own. She really is trying even to override any of his feelings/reactions for her own benefit on top of trying to make him feel unimportant on his own birthday

[@livem2011]

Also in this digital age, Google and Facebook reminds you often so it's really hard to forget these days

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

​@ruthsaunders9507 I haven't gotten to that story yet. But I'm terrible at remembering dates and don't think my own birthday is a big deal. However I think it's always the safest to assume that other people think their own birthday is important to them until they tell you it isn't. So I keep a list of the birthdays of family and friends, and always write those down in my planner so I'm reminded in time. For some I write down multiple reminders (2 months in advance to start looking for a gift and to ask if they want to celebrate by going out with the friend group, a day in advance to wish them a happy birthday through a phone call or text), for some only one so I can at least send them a happy birthday message. My ex had the mindset of "My birthday isn't important to me, so I don't care about other people's birthdays either ". I don't recommend that mindset. It's one of the reasons he's an ex.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The wife should know. Cheating during pregnancy is unforgivable. An infection could hurt baby and/or mother. I agree with the safety aspect though. A lot of cheaters do turn violent when confronted. I'm so glad OP told the wife. This was clearly a deal breaker if she immediately moved out with baby twins

[@wmdkitty]

Cheating at any time is unforgivable, really.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S2: Nothing is her fault ever. It's not the birthday per se that's the problem, it is the lack of empathy and failure to take responsibility. To me that's the worst.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: If you care for someone you don't "forget" their birthday (I put it in quotes because I'm not sure I believe she forgot it). You also don't dismiss their feelings the way this wife did. Remembering a birthday is a way to show someone that you're glad they're in this world with you. This wife is selfish and cold.

[@ceeshnia]

OP 2 was raised abused, and married an abuser. I worry for him and his daughter; what a horrible woman. I hope they can get away from her safely and soon.

[@concrete-d5v]

OPs wife forgets hiw birthday and yells at him, Reddit - "obviously you dont communicate enough, also get therapy"

[@davidlionheart2438]

Reddit: totally predictable and usually stupid.

[@JEPiper]

He really could use some therapy though; work through his self-esteem issues so he doesn’t tolerate mistreatment.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Well, since he refuses to divorce or stand up to her - he even took partial "blame" cuz he forgot to remind her 🤦 - therapy is his only option left. I hope he some day realises the situation he's in.

[@robertx8020]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm You don't seem to understand abuse!

[@LisaApril]

That last story, that gentleman was abused growing up and now he chose a wife that will abuse him. Celebrating her birthday and expecting everything she wants while ignoring her husbands birthday. Now She's trying to make him the one responsible for her forgetting his birthday. And he thinks it's OK, proving he has a lot of work to do on his self-esteem and his self-respect.

[@jacearmor5274]

S2: can you imagine not even telling your spouse Happy Birthday?!?!

[@Wander85942]

Some kind of rage just snapped in me when the boss was dropping off a baby present for the wife

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: Glad OP had the guts and moral fortitude to stick by what he thought was right and that he was smart enough to figure out the best (safest) way to out the affair. To those saying he should "MiNd HiS bUsInEsS," I hope they realize that this seems to imply they see nothing wrong with what OP's neighbor was doing. S2: Maybe S1 has me trigger happy or something but I think OP2's wife is up to some shit.

[@Ivy94F]

Nah, I think ppl are worried about Op being a catalyst to a Dateline episode. It’s something to consider if you’re the type of person who would have trouble living with that. As long as that’s being considered, then do what you feel is right so you’re not traumatized as well by the consequences. I don’t think it’s because all those ppl think cheating is fine. The ‘mind your own business’ attitude stems from all the stories where the good samaritan method backfired or had unintended consequences.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the second story even with the other day it just makes me have more sympathy for this man. Think about it his wife dismisses his feelings when he's vulnerable to her basically telling him to suck it up and get over it and move on and then he has to make a birthday cake with his daughter just so he can feel appreciated. This is a woman who could care less about him but I guarantee you if the roles were reverse she would basically leave him at the drop of a hat. This man needs to grow up here until his wife things need to change either you and me are going to work on our marriage and you'd be more appreciative of me and make me feel like I'm worthy of being married to you or I will take my daughter and divorce you. But the fact is he would rather live in a marriage where he's second instead of being in a marriage where they are both equals and their daughter is the number one

[@ineedhoez]

The daughter should be #2. Never put kids before your marriage. Obviously, not talking about abusing your kids. Just prioritize your partner.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I would say he needs to return the sentiment to her on her birthday, but it sounds like her birthday is so important to her that she throws her own birthday parties. Who throws a party for their own birthday? A selfish, entitled person…I am getting my party whether you like it or not, because I deserve to be the center of attention!

[@mirandabradley2349]

Let me just say, the nosey neighbors in my neighborhood kept the kids safe. They saw everything they knew everyone so when someone was creeping around that was new they made a point to be present and they did save quite a few kids.

[@ChangedWinds]

17:31 Bruh what? Did we discover the new stereotype about spouses? Ngl this is the first story where a man recalls the important days and the woman demands to be reminded because "there are more important things in the world". Wishing OP the best.

[@JennRighter]

Always tell the person being cheated on. The way they react to or respond to you is not your responsibility. Doing the right thing is. Aside from the moral obligation, there could be STDs or other seriously detrimental issues involved.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Story 2: Poor OP. He's just being walked over. She wasn't sorry,she didn't make it up to him. She blamed him for her not caring.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Send some my way--not the relationships!! Me! 🤣🤣 So this man is doing the boom boom with multiple women while calling his ex a b and completely neglecting his children. He deserved the jail time. Complete waste man

[@Lestaticate]

Birthday Story: Wife had 4 years to remember her husbands’s birthday. She goes all out for herself, but not as much as a hug. Gets yelled at for having / discussing his feelings. Damn, sorry OP basically married a copy of his callous mother.

[@pugsabi]

Story 2. Poor dude! I'm used to people (outside of family) forgetting my birthday because it comes right after the major holidays at a very busy time of year. If someone would have said that it was my fault for not reminding them, I'd tell them that it comes on the same date every year and Google, Alexa, and Siri can all remind them if they cared. I'm also petty enough for turn around being fair play on their birthday too.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Damn she hit him with DARVO twice in a day! He's too shell shocked to deal with it now but hopefully he doesn't let her bury this memory.

[@Mr_Obvious]

I've forgotten birthdays before, including my own believe it or not. Shit happens. It's his wife's reaction that isn't ok. Tired or not, blaming him for overreacting to something not important is a complete dickhead move, then blaming him for not reminding her is adding insult to injury. I bet she'd be pissed and you might end up sleeping on the couch if God forbid you ever forgot hers. I hope it all works out with their marriage for OP in the long run, but there are some big red flags there.

[@Nicholem718-1]

Forgotten birthday story: we don’t have an abundance of info, but what we do have points to a narcissistic wife and abused husband. I really hope the OP finds his self worth and leaves her at some point.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA Your wife makes sure that her birthdays are extravagent, but "forgets" yours, then blames you for having an emotional breakdown? She is telling you that you do not matter in the least, that you are a nothing, and not to be recognized. You can do better. How is she when your daughter's birthday arrives? Is she forgetful, cheap, or celebrates it joyfully? You can do better, much better. Get out of her entitlement and toxicity, and find someone who cares about YOU. Take your daughter with you when you go. Good Luck.

[@pinkdipi]

Story 2 broke my heart

[@Swnsasy]

Wow, and she's pregnant?! Absolutely would want to know and 100% would tell the person anonymously in this type of situation. I would go and make up a reason to get her email address, get pictures and send them through email. That is one way to do it.. It's a sociopath that can do this and he brought his affair partner to his home to meet his new twins and his wife! Unbelievable the audacity of cheaters..

[@gngrblls2thwall]

S1: really wish he had sent the photos to cheater’s HR dept too

[@babytone54]

Story 2 pissed me the FLIP off. What exactly does she do to make you happy, because she is EVIL for blaming him for not REMINDING her about her husband's birthday!! Biiiiiiih she should have been tripping over her tongue with apologies 😒

[@catbitmaster8216]

Story 2: How is she tired? It sounds like OP is the one who is always taking care of the daughter, given that he was the one who goes to put the daughter to sleep despite being emotionally vulnerable right at the moment. There are so many red flags with the wife.

[@Swnsasy]

S2: Omgosh I feel so sorry for him. Then the wife to act like that is horrible! Why would she scream him down while he's crying. It's not stupid at all!! My husband wanted to get married on my birthday because my mom passed on my birthday and he wanted it to be special again.. I want to hug him! 😢😢😢

[@unshippedchimp]

Sad update about the guy with his wife blaming him for not reminding her. It’s kinda a big thing to remember your partners birthday. If you forgot about hers she would blow up

[@kateworkman921]

With all the information, alerts, alarms, and other bells and whistles people have with their phones nowadays, there is ZERO reason to not know when someone's birthday is. And with that person BEING YOUR SPOUSE, you have even LESS reason! It's pathetic and unacceptable that she dares blame OP after yelling at him. I hope he grows a spine and leaves her.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

Story 2, nope nope nope. It’s not OPs fault for not reminding his wife when it’s his birthday. That’s the biggest cop out.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Last story: OP is being a bit too passive “don’t rock the boat”, like they’re afraid wife is gonna leave or start yelling again. Considering that response to finding OP crying, it sounds like OP is very much in survival mode and doesn’t realize it doesn’t have to be that way. I couldn’t imagine walking in on my crying spouse and Yelling at them. 🤦🏻‍♀️ If it were me, there would be lots of hugs, comforting, and profuse apologies, as well as belated happy birthdays.

[@ineedhoez]

Story 2: if your parents didn't pay you any attention and made you feel small and unimportant, 9 times out of 10 you're going to select a partner who does the exact same thing. Get out.

[@AndyyWithAY]

ADHD be ADHDing so I've definitely forgotten to wish someone. I'll like remember up until the actual day and sometimes forget. The wife is a huge AH. She makes a big deal out of hers and couldn't even wish you. Then you see your man crying and you treat him like crap and make yourself the victim. I hope someone finally makes this man's bday a priority. He needs to get a divorce. This woman is awful

[@TopazFire15]

Same, I’ll even forget after seeing the calendar notification the morning of. The difference is that decent people try to make up for it by apologizing or doing something a little extra, unlike OP’s wife.

[@wmdkitty]

People get a lot of "happy early birthday" or "happy belated birthday" from me.

[@heathermiller5765]

I'm kind of doubting she has ADHD though... 🤨

[@bloodstripeleatherneck1941]

​​@@heathermiller5765 why?

[@carlrood4457]

OP in last story is a broken little boy. His wife doesn't respect him. She doesn't care about him. She literally blamed him for her forgetting his birthday. I've had the occasional crappy birthday in my 23 years of marriage, but she never once forgot it.

[@MarkNarrations]

[@GoGirlaa13]

Have a merry Christmas Mark and Waffle Gang 🎉

[@boiledrat]

🦶🏻

[@dennisblankenship1310]

Story 2 - It’s never about the one forgotten birthday. I suspect OP has a history of general childhood neglect, evidenced by his own family never acknowledging his birthday. OP’s wife forgetting one birthday just dredged up what had been accumulating since childhood, likely just the tip of the iceberg.

[@devegas4910]

Story 2: I really hope op develops self esteem in the near future. Because I have been with my partner for five years and I could not imagine 1) not remembering their birthday, and 2) blaming them for not reminding me when we live in an age where you can see a calendar reminder on your phone

[@myounakami]

The worst thing to me in the last story (OP getting yelled at for being upset about his Birthday being forgotten) is that he's not only doing himself a disservice by not standing up to what sounds like verbally/emotionally abusive behavior (she DARVO'd him twice; once by yelling at him for 'trying to make her feel guilty' and again for putting the blame on him because he 'didn't remind her'), but he's also doing his daughter a disservice by teaching her that this behavior is okay. OP's daughter is young, and she's going to be learning what a relationship looks like and what's considered 'normal' from her parents; if this kind of treatment continues, the daughter will likely go one of two ways: she either starts developing mean/abusive tendencies towards other people like mommy or she starts developing passive tendencies toward people being mean/abusing her like daddy. There's a chance she could break the cycle somewhere down the line, but OP's not doing his daughter any favors by pardoning domestic abuse for the sake of not rocking the boat.

[@dessnatazha]

My husband doesn't care about holidays or even his own birthday, but he hasn't forgotten my birthday once since we were teens. It's really not that hard to make an effort for your partner.

[@kittyfox7]

That last story made me really sad. The wife manipulated him into thinking it’s partly his fault. Most people remember birthdays or at least the month. Why couldn’t she apologize and make it up to him? She instead yelled at him.

[@JEPiper]

They’ve been together at least four years and she never took the time to memorize his birthday? But God forbid he forget hers, I’m sure. She’s playing in his face and he needs to shut it down quick.

[@katraylor]

Story 2: I've known my wife's birthday since the first year we were dating and think about it months in advance. OP's wife sounds like a horrible person who doesn't care about him at all.

[@Oggystein]

What do you think the odds are that she remembers her best friend's birthday or her parents? She blames him for not reminding her but I'll bet money I don't have she remembers the people who are important to her.

[@ajwinberg]

I would say who forgets their spouces birthday? But my spouce often forgets mine. I'm used to most people forgetting my birthday. But I never forget my spouces birthday and I always acknowledge his birthday with at least a card and cake. I figured that when you are an adult, it is just normal to have your birthday forgot about. Especially if it is around a holiday. Mine is in late November and is usually around Thanksgiving. People aren't worried about someone's birthday when a major holiday celebration is coming up.

[@noahthenormal]

Story 2: "But she told me it was my fault for not reminding her to give a shit about me, so I guess we're even."

[@cb9825]

Last story - I'd say match her energy. 😂 don't organize a party and just give her a birthday card next year.

[@TwattWaffleWhitney]

I think for the Birthday Story, no matter what the circumstances you're not the Ahole for crying. You're allowed to feel your emotions so long as you don't wallow in them.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Having a few of the side effects of this new medicine I was warned about, but I'm still taking my walk just taking it easy. Hope everyone is having a lovely day and weekend

[@boiledrat]

is that why u post multiple comments

[@paden1865able]

I hope the side effects fade and leave you alone, those are just the worst. Take care!

[@kevincoughlin3455]

Story 2 is the most depressing thing I've heard all day. The fact that the guy is actually thinking he's not important enough for his wife to remember his birthday. That he accepts that it's his fault that she forgot. I hope he gets a spine soon and leaves her and find someone who will actually care for him.

[@laurag502]

i love nosy neighbors tbh. i don’t do anything i would be ashamed of someone else knowing but nosy neighbors keep the world safer lol

[@teenalot1235]

That poor man in story two... 😢 Edit: TBH... His reaction is a testament of deeper rooted issues... My heart goes out to him... I really feel sad for him...

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Hey Mark, thank you so much for not supporting cheating. Sadly many people excuse it. Glad you have morals.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

OP should have reminded his wife about his birthday?! Seriously? I have former friends I haven't spoken to in 20 years (since my teens) and I remember their damn birthdays, and I'm an incredibly forgetful person 😬. I have to do the maths to figure out my own age (36) because I keep forgetting. If people care enough, they will remember. I'm not sure how to feel about that update... The whole situation made the wife look very VERY bad, especially jumping straight to anger.

[@blackwolf1216]

Both stories pissed me off so much..... Story 1 that neighbour is such an AH to cheat on his wife whilst she's pregnant, but I'm glad OP was able to anonymously let her know. Story 2 that OP is either in a relationship with an extremely selfish woman who does not care about him or she is straight up emotionally abusive....judging by the update though likely both and probably more too

[@christagorjup9434]

Mark can I just say, i really enjoy it when you go off on one of your 'tangents'. Whether it's a memory from when you were a kid, or something you've experienced as an adult...I want all the tea! Please don't ever change. Much love.🙃

[@JDavis-st9fz]

One of my favorite things lately is people saying ‘twitter or X or whatever it’s called’. You know good and well what it’s called, you’re just salty about it. Love you Mark.

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Who forgets their spouses birthday? Smh. I’ve never been married. I’ve had boyfriends and a fiancée and I’ve never forgotten.

[@darkfusionx22]

Hi Mark! Happy holidays to you and Poppy!! ❤

[@LadyQuotes]

Story 2: so personally I don't really care about my birthdays. I plan something if I am up for it, otherwise I could care less. I would never care if people don't remember it because I would just tell them, but I have friends who are more invested and I forgot, so I started setting reminders to help me. If they care, they will try to do better, not just dismiss your feelings.

[@pasalking7760]

Story 2 Op needs therapy for all the low self-esteem and trauma

[@Kinsfire]

On the second story (the birthday), it is possible to utterly forget. Both my wife and I forgot our 23rd wedding anniversary - didn't realize it until we looked at the calendar for something else and simultaneously went, "Oh shit". Then laughed and went out for dinner as a late anniversary, so I can actually understand not remembering that it's a spouse's birthday if other things are happening.

[@melosidhe779]

Wife should definitely know if he was cheating. Especially since it was going on while she was pregnant. He could have given her something that could have hurt the babies. Good for OP to try to keep her safe and remain anonymous (cheaters have been known to do all sorts of crazy things). But I would have sent a copy of everything to the work to get them both disciplined /fired

[@kateemma22]

OP1 is such a good person. I love them. They’re 100% right when they say more people should be like them.

[@littlegreycat]

6:29 the Op Played this right. I think he did good for the woman. Kept her safe and got her family involved so they could help her

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 2 OP's been abused long from how he quickly agrees with POS wife blaming him AFTER fake "apologizing" to him. I sure hope he'll open his eyes SOON for the sake of his daughter!

[@anonymousinternetperson]

Man both of these stories piss me off to no end. How do the best people on the planet always stumble upon the worst, so sad! ☹

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 1, I think the OP feeling conflicted and wondering how to best handle the situation really shows their moral character. My neighbor is an absolute curtain twitcher and when we first moved in here he told us all about how he caught his neighbor cheating on her husband and exposed it, which yes is the right thing to do but he was downright gleeful about it and it made me very uncomfortable.

[@bloodstripeleatherneck1941]

Tactfully, let him know you can't shake the intrusive thoughts of being watched, and ask if he will help by telling you he won't record you. If that doesn't work... Get a restraining order.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 2: WTF is that update?????

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

My husband has a memory like a sieve. His birthday is not important to him. He knows mine is important to me. He asked me to remind him as he never wants to forget but he’d never double down like a b…. The way OPs partner did in this scenario. Put a countdown on your phone. Calendar apps can text you advance notice of important dates. She didn’t remember because ultimately she didn’t care enough. I hope this is the last mean thing op ever accepts from her and that the people in their world put her in her place regarding this.

[@Rachwitch]

Second story makes me think of this phrase: "They aren't your type, they are your pattern." He is so used to being neglected that he just settled for someone who is exactly like his parents.

[@katwitanruna]

Love the perpetual holiday calendar idea!!

[@kieramaccourt8717]

Story 2: OMG, my heart breaks for OP! I love to celebrate birthdays, but not everyone is like me. HOWEVER, my DH is a Holiday baby. His b-day was never celebrated when he was a kid, and in his first relationship it was mentioned, but it wasn't a big deal to his then partner. When I found out about his non-birthdays, I started baking a special cake for him every year. Sometimes, it was really hard because I was working nights. Now it's hard because of my physical disability. I love DH and want to make him feel special in what little way I can for his day (since it gets overshadowed by Santa and all that stuff). To see her spouse CRYING and get angry?! What an AH! Spouses are allowed to have feels! OP wasn't even crying in front of her to begin with...and didn't mention the b-day all day! And then to say it was "unimportant"? I didn't miss the fact that wife likes a fuss made over HER b-day. This relationship is doomed.

[@ceeshnia]

I hope the wife in the first story gets a good deal in the divorce; cheaters should pay the price of their betrayal.

[@Broeckchen]

Birthday-OP makes me so sad. Just absorbs all of the blame... I hope this reaction from reddit will remain somewhere in the back of his head. And that eventually, it will help him see clearly what's happening and help set him free.

[@davidburton3447]

Birthday one...how dare she say it wasn't important when she demands HERS is important. I'd consider leaving her. Obviously she doesn't appreciate or respect him

[@Pikaman20008]

With the second story at first I wasn’t sure if the wife was a full asshole or if stuff just went wrong, but the extra info by the OP and the update convinced me she’s terrible. It’s often hard to judge these situations because we only get a small view of a small part of their lives but her actions truly say a lot, especially since it really seems like the OP isn’t actively trying to frame her in a bad light. Hell did she even actually apologize at any point?

[@bunnyslippers191]

Wife who wants a big deal made on her birthday, then gives her husband "something small like a birthday card" for his birthday is already dismissing the man who has told her just how badly his parents treated him on his birthday. Then to completely forget his birthday and *blame him for her forgetting it* is the asshole for sure.

[@47896285pgdfzgnd]

I love when Mark gets angry enough to swear

[@darlenemclain8]

Story 1, I was laughing with you Mark about the spy equipment and the board with all the strings. I'm glad OP told the wife, she definitely needed to know. Story 2, OP deserves to be celebrated, everyone does on birthdays. The wife is selfish, inconsiderate, seems so uncaring

[@CodenameTurtle]

i would feel awful finding my husband crying because i missed his birthday... even if i didnt care about birthdays, because its important to him, i would instead show how much he means to me, apologize and try to celebrate him the next day, then absolutely have an alarm for every single one of his birthdays in the future - not say that it was his fault! that update was so heartbreaking, he started believing her!

[@minxilly1575]

Wife is incompetent and that's emotional neglect and honestly she seems narcissistic. He needs to leave

[@Dana-712FifthAve]

Yeah, that was a very unsatisfying update

[@donnalothes7085]

Wow just Wow. Happy belated birthday.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@FizzardFoofoo-jt5zu]

Love you back!! Definitely needed the water 🤣

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@FizzardFoofoo-jt5zu 💜💜🤗🤗

[@IzzyCoventina]

Story 2: forgetting your partner/wife/husbands birthday is just silly, but blaming the spouse for not reminding them is just cold. You got married for crying out loud, shouldn't you at least do the bare minimum by remembering their birthday? To put things into perspective: I'm BAD at remembering birthdays due to my ADHD & autism. Sometimes I even forget my own birthday 😂 Before smart phones I would make sure I had a new calendar updated with the holidays. When I started dating my current partner I updated my calendars & everything to be sure I wouldn't forget. Haven't missed a birthday of his & he hasn't missed any of mine, no matter what's been going on in any of our lives. We aren't married (waiting to get fully financially stable & a house) but we've been together for 10 years now.

[@glendastaples8206]

My thought has always been, if you are with someone who forgets important dates don’t be ashamed to crow about your upcoming birthday, anniversary, and any thing else that may be upcoming and if you’re the one who forgets have a paper calendar prominently displayed so you can look at it every day.

[@joshuapierce3085]

Story 1: honestly, I think the neighbor had a sex addiction. Story 2: definitely a bad update. OP definitely needs to work on his self-esteem cause his wife is telling him loud and clear that SHE is the important one in the relationship and he needs to realize that they are BOTH important.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Always tell them before the baby is born, the mother can't leave the state without permission after the baby has been born, but if pregnant, she can go anywhere she wants, even to another country. If she tries to leave the father's state with any children, even if she just wants to visit someone across the state lines, he can press child abduction charges. Always give her the option to get to safety before the baby or babies are born.

[@littlegreycat]

True I forgot that and if his family has money you know they're going to get him a good lawyer. But at least now he's not going to look like a good dad to the court

[@HaughtyHedonist]

Love The Breakfast Outro Mark! Happy Holidays 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@goldenoptic]

Birthday story reminded me of Mad TV Lowered Expectations