I Learned I Might Not Be an Introvert

[@imaginaryenemies6332]

Never thought about it that way! I feel the exact same way! And it i really think about it, I'm VERY outgoing in some environments but not others.

[@ChadEveryday]

It’s wild, changed my outlook on things. Idk why I’m just now learning so much about myself after all these years

[@codyanderson3164]

thanks for sharing Chad. I never heard this perspective before. This makes complete sense!

[@ChadEveryday]

Glad it was helpful!

[@AT-dx9pf]

Very insightful. This is the problem with ideas becoming very mainstream : Introvert/Extravert were (by Carl Jung, the coiner of the terms) originally defined as opposites which all people have. It is seen more as some people having more tendency towards one or the other (generally with the other being merely unconscious/raw & unrefined/hidden). We often find these parts of ourselves through relationships. But we often are closer to the middle than we think (some have no clear preference) and are masking ourselves. Introvert has taken on ideas that don't correspond to its original meaning. There isn't necessarily any relation to shyness or social isolation. The idea is more like waking and sleeping. If I have a busy day I need to sleep to refuel. While I agree with you entirely some psychologists have used the same line of thinking to say that introversion is inherently bad (a mental disorder like Freud-who I assume doesn't understand that all his books were written via introverion) not seeing it as a mere opposite. Opposites work in a funny way. The more introverted one becomes the more some part of us seeks a social outlet (tho we often deny ourselves this outlet). Our time alone becomes less rewarding. The person who seeks to constantly be busy with others becomes socially shallow and neglects a part of them that wants to turn more inward to find authenticity through self instead of social identity. I too shared the idea that I was an extreme introvert but I notice I am the most talkative guy in the room. I typically am just running from social anxiety from being in crowds I can't easily relate to largely because of past trauma. And that social anxiety is not because of introversion although my introversion is often used to run away like a crab in a shell. There is a great book called Intimacy and Solitude that speaks about how our ability to be alone or to be in relationships is directly fed by our ability for the opposite. If we have a longing to be with others we will not enjoy being alone. It's more that it becomes something we are so used to we don't realize how little we like it. If all our focus is on interacting with others we can smother them too and we won't have any real idea of who we are (what we like, etc). We will merely follow others interests. Certain periods of our lives are marked by more of one than the other. If we've been holding in extraversion forever we are going to swing to being very extraverted at times (assuming we have an outlet).

[@ChadEveryday]

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing all that, it's really insightful. I'll add Intimacy and Solitude to my reading list. I'm always open to learning more about life and myself. Your points make perfect sense, especially the line "the idea that I was an extreme introvert but I notice I am the most talkative guy in the room". I find myself more often than not being one of the most talkative people, once I get going. I've never been one to get the conversation going, unless I know the people well. If it's a new environment, it typically takes someone else to get me going. Sometimes, so much so, I just start vomiting every thought that comes across my head sometimes haha. Not really sure what that is other than me not knowing how to get out of conversations sometimes.

[@AT-dx9pf]

@ChadEveryday I'm the same. I find it difficult to start the convo because it begins in small talk which I find difficult and annoying yet I also see how good a smiling person with empathy at a checkout line makes people feel. It is easy for me to talk if I go to some place (like my local bookstore which holds events like you mentioned including poetry night) where we are there because we have a shared interest. I do still get nervous when the groups are large or depending on who is there. I think some of it is because of me (I isolate too much and am caught up in deep philosophical thought) but some of it is that mainstream society is so monotonous so I'm not entirely gonna blame myself although I see the other side of that as my being too focused on myself and looking for a group of "like minded people"(turns out these people tend to be little different than anyone else and I guess I'm the same way) instead of not judging as much and being able to appreciate the complexity of those I encounter. If I'm truthful I'm often feeling judged when in reality I'm the one judging and projecting that onto others. I do think I started judging because people treated me poorly in the past but its a vague line between an "inferiority complex" and feelings of superiority. I can talk to anyone for hours once I let my guard down. I am gonna stop writing novels but it's just so refreshing to see someone actually engaging with their audience.

[@AT-dx9pf]

@@ChadEveryday I'm also just a poor listener and am too focused on what to say next while I ignore what is being shared. Others view interactions as fun while for me it is taking a test. I am slowly realizing that the view I got of others from ages 1-21 (school,etc) is not indicative of how I'm gonna be treated by most people while also having grown confidence to not take their judgements so personally. I also meant in the original post to say that if one has been very introverted for years (creative incubation?) it is time to reap the fruits of it. Once we become more social again we are gonna be seen as very unique and authentic with much to offer whereas most people haven't looked anywhere but the outside and so have no different perspectives or anything unique to offer others. I realize I have a presence to me now that people respect. What that is I'm not sure. But it came from that introversion.

[@z.s.omrani2945]

Man... That made so much sense. I feel ya.

[@ChadEveryday]

Right? That’s how I felt when I first heard it. I was like, wait a minute haha

[@zzzxxx7294]

Ain't nothing called extrovert or introvert, humans are social by nature. "Introverts" spend their time socializing online instead. It's all about expanding your comfort zone and confidence. No one truly likes being alone. Just a variety in confidence and how long the individual likes to spend around others.

[@ChadEveryday]

Great outlook, but I would say they are more of personality types rather than definitions. Characteristics so to speak. I would agree that I don’t like to be alone, at least not for extended periods of time. I do however enjoy as much time to myself as I can get too. Rather I spend that at home or in the woods, it’s nice to step back from all social settings (IRL and online)

[@AlmightyAndFriends]

Dang, I never considered something like this. I can definitely say I can relate to it though.

[@ChadEveryday]

Wild thing huh? Blew my mind too.

[@AJ-pd8bd]

Loved your vid content, genuine authenticity , conversation for introspection and filming tips (like adding photo of friend to feel comfortable and authentic while filming content. 🫶🏻👏🏻👏🏻