I lost my work "friends"

[@krissfenix]

My experience of working 20 years in Canada: Coworkers are NEVER your friends. In fact, they are your competition, your enemies and back stabbers. They are only "conveniently" friends with the managers. I had seen how retired, disabled coworkers were treated after leaving the workplace. People who looked like friends during their working years and suddenly, they are treated like deceased and forgotten once they leave the workplace for any reason. Friends are only those who share your true and deep values. I only have one. The rest are only acquaintances. My best friend is myself. I found peace , grow and happiness through meditation and embracing Buddhist's philosophy.

[@mrguiltyfool]

From Canada i totally agree

[@daveb2280]

Very true. I retired in 2018. I had "friends" who I worked with for over ten years. I haven't heard from any of them since I retired. I realized in hindsight that they are just co-workers who would undercut anyone to get ahead. I can't imagine what the workplace is today and I am very blessed that I don't have to endure any of it.

[@mrguiltyfool]

@@daveb2280 It is like college friends everyone trying to backstab each other for an internship spot or entry role

[@LaborGains]

Sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for sharing. It's a rude awakening for a lot of people when they leave a job and lose all those connections.

[@foo2913]

I never understood my mom spending her own money for retirement parties or going away parties then never hearing from these individuals again.

[@LaborGains]

Oh wow. Yea, that's not a good idea.

[@magicparkmemories]

My Dad had a good perspective about people. He said people will use you in life and so he said you need to take care of yourself and never ever use a person I was nice to so many people in my lifetime and I lost my job in 2022 and was there for 8 years. I walked at lunch time with my co workers and ate lunch with them. I gave them a card or flowers for a birthday or if there was a death in their family. So when I lost my job, not one single co worker stayed in touch with me or even called me or texted me. It really hurted my feelings. So going forward, I decided to never ever be nice to anyone at a job again.

[@magicparkmemories]

@ no . I do not like Ford or buy their car.

[@LaborGains]

Sorry to hear you lost your job. That's a crappy feeling when you think you have found a place you can stay at for a long time and then they just kick you to the curb. I'm sorry your former coworkers treated you that way. Sadly, that's how it goes for most of us. You sound like a good person with a great heart, so just know that you were doing the right thing even if others took advantage of it. Giving is something we have to do with no expectations and just because it's a nice gesture. We can't control how others react to our kindness.

[@aftersec]

You learn people's true colors when hard times hit. I hope things work out for you 🙏.

[@dm-jf5uu]

I have this one "friend" that only calls texts me when she is having problems with her boyfriend when I have a problem she won't call I am thinking of just removing her number and moving on.

[@LaborGains]

You're right. Thank you!

[@dynamo3059]

are they friends? 99 percent of the time: No

[@LaborGains]

You're right.

[@Salamander0111]

I go to work just to work ,not to make friends. I left the whole "friendship" thing back in highschool and college. Nowadays, in the real world, we're nothing but associates and nothing more

[@dm-jf5uu]

👍

[@LaborGains]

That's a good way to approach it.

[@dannyhubbard6330]

I am lucky to have accumulated some true friends on my time on the submarine. I retired and had over 200 people fly in to my retirement and have a friend group that travels together every year. I know that that's not the norm but that makes it truly a blessing

[@LaborGains]

Certainly not the norm, but that is amazing! Thanks for sharing.

[@mrguiltyfool]

War buddy = trauma bonding. To me, ppl come and go

[@alphaomega1351]

Bingo! Needs change as time progresses. 😶

[@mrguiltyfool]

@@alphaomega1351 To me, most relationships are just situationship or fellowship.

[@WesternBachelor]

That's also why I find references kind of are pointless because when you list your manager as a reference, four or five months later he may not know what to say even if your supervisor has a good review of you... If everyone provides 3 references on a background check and they're always great all the time... Then I don't know what good references do

[@Salamander0111]

@@WesternBachelor There are people that say would be a preference, but would talk all type of shit about you to your future employer . Either that or they don't even remember who you were .

[@LaborGains]

You're right. They're really not that valuable.

[@ognyc71]

I call them work associates. I've kept friendships with only 2 people in the same organization.

[@LaborGains]

That's a good title. Thanks for sharing!

[@jasmineisshorter]

Sadly this is true. Not many stood the test of time and showed themselves as fake.

[@LaborGains]

You never think your bond will be broken and then it is. Very quickly after leaving a job.

[@Mickeyfay73]

All of your content is so relevant and refreshing. You discuss topics and issues not spoken about by people who have experienced job loss and navigating the job search. This is the real perspective of so many. Keep up the great work!!

[@LaborGains]

Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you find the content helpful!

[@Scrappygymrat]

I have made a grand total of 2 friends from work that I still talk to on a daily basis

[@LaborGains]

Oh wow. According to the other comments on this video, that seems about right.

[@jtgoeswest3792]

Old people have fewer friends

[@jasmineisshorter]

& some Young. It’s hard af to have a real friendship today.

[@alphaomega1351]

True indeed. Friends and extended family are for children and young adults. 🤓

[@frankcorrea8691]

And they still cheat!😮

[@magicparkmemories]

I am 60 years old now and have no friends at all. I do not exist in life to others. I am single on top of it. I find that people today are in their own bubble and have no heart or love or religion or morals at all. I crocheted a baby blanket for a neighbor expecting a baby as a surprise. She was 36 years old. She never said thank you or gave me a thank you card. I made a plate of cookies one christmas for other neighbors and they never said thank you. So I walk at night and ride the bike and lift weights. I listen to music and I do not talk to anyone. I know there is no LOVE in this world. God created some selfish people in this world.

[@magicparkmemories]

@ I am Catholic and say a lot of prayers. I needed help in the last year and not one person helped me. I am going thru some tough challenges and not one person helped. I know people do not say prayers for me and so I walk thru this world with no love

[@magicparkmemories]

@ I do not know you but you are nice to me and I appreciate it. I liked your saying and never heard it before . Thank you

[@LaborGains]

Hey there. Sorry to hear your are going through this. Thank you for sharing. They say the US is a Christian nation, but to that I say, since when? It's hard to follow God and stay on track while in the US but Jesus told us that we will have troubles of many kinds, but he has overcome the world. Which should give us hope. You seem to be following the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. Which is great. But we live in a fallen world and we can't expect the kindness back that we offer to others. Jesus knows how that feels too. God bless and I hope things get better for you.

[@magicparkmemories]

@ thank you for the kind words. I have no expectations from people at all. I trust God and say my prayers . I have hope, faith, and love in my heart

[@gdj777]

Change is the only constant in life. God remains closer then a brother

[@LaborGains]

Amen

[@animatorsparadise1]

right on about the physical presence, My own brothers barely talk to me now that they live in their own homes and apartments. I have "friends" who only ever contact me when they're in town physically close and when they fly back to Spain, all my messages and calls are left unanswered. I believe if it can survive the distance and then it's real enough. Sort of like a long distance relationship, 95 percent of the world cant do it. Everyone wants a nice car and house but can't afford the maintenance.

[@LaborGains]

Great assessment. Sorry you had to go through that. If you can maintain a relationship long distance it is certainly real.

[@Gaslighter893]

I don’t think its a good idea to get too close with co-workers and be friends. There is a talkative co-worker that sits on the cubicle next to mine. They used to have a friend that would go up to them every day just to talk. Recently, I heard they stopped being friends because of political differences. That explains why that other person doesn’t go up to their desk anymore. Its better just to maintain cordial and professional relationships at work because one doesn’t know when they are going to need their help or have to work together.

[@LaborGains]

You're right. Thank you for sharing that experience.

[@TonyNewman-n9z]

With rare exceptions, your work colleagues are just that - your work colleagues. Know that a few weeks or months after you leave that workplace you will be utterly forgotten. In over 30 years in the corporate world I have been abandoned/betrayed/f'ed over by former work colleagues many, many times. It is what it is.

[@LaborGains]

Wow, you’ve really been through it, thanks for the comment.

[@dm-jf5uu]

I don't make friends at work It takes time for me to get to know people.i feel.like at work it's better to be casual friendly but not too friendly after leaving my job I only keep in touch with 1 person

[@LaborGains]

That's a smart way to approach things. Thanks for sharing

[@THE_GUY_WITH_THE_BOWTIE]

If you found five really good friends, I would say you are doing pretty darn good!

[@LaborGains]

That's true!!

[@торговыйфлот-м1ш]

easy come easy go

[@monterreymxisfun3627]

This is not a binary thing. Some cut off all contact. Others will respond to an occasional text for a holiday while avoiding meeting in person. To maintain your network, it's essential to know how much distance to keep.

[@LaborGains]

You're right, it's a spectrum. Thanks for the comment!

[@scrapbrainsinc]

I think the biggest factor is people generally get exhausted and have too much going on in their own lives. (If they are married, forget about that person) You need have people that have the freedom and ability to just go pal around for the day. You also have to reach out and make arrangements to get lunch or do whatever. This can even be true with family. I think as a society we need to slow down, but nobody can afford to do so.

[@LaborGains]

Good points. Thank you for the comment.

[@WongWho]

Unless you talk to them and/or even hang out with them outside of work, they're not your friends at all. The question you have to ask yourself, are they your friend or are they just friendly?

[@LaborGains]

Good way to look at it. Most times just friendly.

[@kaicooper9421]

I makeit a point to NOT make friends with co-workers. They are NOT your friends

[@LaborGains]

You're right.

[@alphaomega1351]

Well, at least you still have your Facebook friends. 🤓

[@frankcorrea8691]

They are dangerous people with alot of information about you!😮

[@LaborGains]

That's the only real friends!! 🤣

[@louisegriffin6672]

Colleagues

[@LaborGains]

Yes

[@maple913]

why did you shave half your moustache

[@LaborGains]

I didn't. Just kind of light hair there.