“I’m 8 mos pregnant & all he talks about is the cost”

[@ramitsethi]

00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@lastpolarbearcub]

He has a $3M net worth and won’t cover a doula for their child’s birth and is making her put it on a credit card. That’s so sad.

[@zackcinq-mars2129]

Did he say he wasn't covering it, or did he imply it? It seems like his excuse is that he just wants concrete numbers so he can plan for it and in order to get that he asks her how much will it cost, how will this get paid for? And she is interpreting it as I don't think this is worth it, I don't think you can afford it and its not worth it to me. So she stops asking. Based on his conversation I do think he would cover the cost, but his communication skills are lacking and he is not making her feel secure enough to ask him for the money.

[@saeedhossain6099]

yeah he has $3m, she has the spending habits of someone who believes they ought to be able to spend $3m.......

[@saeedhossain6099]

​@@zackcinq-mars2129you're right that he is making excuses, but the reality is she doesn't want to give up the lifestyle he's providing and getting pregnant was her way of trying to consolidate or "close on the mark" her position in the relationship dynamic - one that is clearly dysfunctional.

[@zackcinq-mars2129]

@@saeedhossain6099 I am guessing it was more that she simply wanted a child. That is many people's life goal and its a goal that isn't possible forever. I do believe they both love each other despite their apparent insecurity. She doesn't want to give up their life together, sure, but she didn't need to get pregnant to hang onto that lifestyle, it didn't seem like they were about to break up or anything.

[@jaddek.astrie3071]

Bad he is not a provider and very cheap with his family 😢😢😢😢

[@amanda.c.ice.]

Her saying she wants to be with him forever and him not being able to say it back says EVERYTHING I needed to know about their relationship! 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@jessephillips5114 so men are providers, but then when a woman wants to be provided for, it is a problem? Children need to be watched. If you don't want your partner watching the children you had to have, maybe don't have them? daycare was never the plan, and it is expensive.

[@A-ei7vm]

I'm only 6 mins in and I can already tell he doesn't respect her. this makes it even worse

[@sienastevens]

@@jessephillips5114 It seems more like she’s waiting around hoping he’ll eventually agree to rescue her. Regardless, they’re living in two completely different realities. She will absolutely end up like the divorced women she references; the only difference is that those women will have the legal protections of marriage.

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

​@@ST-rj8iu no

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 wow. so thought provoking. great addition to the comments

[@monicaherrera2224]

Damn. I have more compassion and understanding towards a random pregnant stranger than this man has for the woman he supposedly loves

[@MixedG80]

so you're saying you can relate to someone who lives beyond their means? Statistically that's most people, so not surprising. I'm not defending him... at least she's aware of it, and sounds like he has the same problem... but the one thing going for him is he actually achieved income (at one point) to support it.

[@monicaherrera2224]

@@MixedG80 what I’m saying is that pregnancy and childcare are shared expenses. I’m not saying he has to subsidize her vacations and other luxuries, but refusing to pay for a doula is just cruel. Considering he bears none of the physical burden of childbirth, and she didn’t make the child by herself, then yes, making a one time expense to provide some comfort and support to your partner of 8 years is the bare minimum of what a decent human being would do, especially considering that at his income it would be an insignificant amount of money

[@saeedhossain6099]

​@@monicaherrera2224she's been pregnant for 8 months, but for the prior 7 years she's been living a lifestyle on his dime.....that says a lot about their current behavior.

[@MixedG80]

@@monicaherrera2224 you don't need a doula, full stop. Wife and I never even considered one for our kids, she had a great OB/GYN and delivered in one of the top facilities in the country (helps to live in NYC). It's "cruel" to not pay for a doula like it's "cruel" to buy the wife a CELINE bag as a "push-present" when she wanted a Chanel.

[@MixedG80]

@@monicaherrera2224 no disagreement on the first point, but it's "cruel" to not pay for a doula like it's "cruel" to buy a teenager a new Civic because they wanted a 3-series. No one "needs" a doula. They aren't medical professionals and are no substitute for an OB/GYN.

[@patrickjohnson4436]

This is not a money problem. This is an interpersonal relationship problem. They need a psychologist, not a financial advisor…

[@DonBrownII]

or maybe both lol i hear what you're saying though. It's so confusing (yet interesting) to hear them communicate their ideologies.

[@kritz31286]

I love watching Ramit, but sometimes I think he should refuse to do a financial evaluation for people who are sorely in need of a therapist first.

[@pfifltrigg]

Well Ramit is technically a coach because he's unlicensed but what he does is more or less unlicensed therapy.

[@lastpolarbearcub]

And she needs a lawyer… becoming a SAHM while unmarried is SO risky

[@shantanu1010]

Ramit does technically have a psychology degree

[@ozzyngcsu]

This lady is literally one decision by her "partner" from being a single mother with no assets and credit card debt.

[@GoodLife-p5p]

She is in such a precarious position. She shouldn't become a stay at home - she cannot afford it alone. They should come up with a custody plan where he is contractually obligated to cover the costs of the child AND childcare for his share. The way he talks, she sounds like she is some random woman he knocked up.

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

​@GoodLife-p5p no, why should he pay her ? women and all women should fend for themselves

[@GoodLife-p5p]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 every father should pay for the cost of his child. Your reasoning that every woman should pay for herself is a deadbeat dad's excuse. By having her sacrifice all her income and not compensating her for at least half the cost of childcare, this guy is transferring all the cost of childcare to the mother instead of covering at least half which is his share. Deadbeat dads should not be having sex without vasectomy or children.

[@GoodLife-p5p]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 you write just like a true deadbeat father

[@saeedhossain6099]

@@GoodLife-p5p she's been living on his dime for 7 years, she earns but pays for the house she lives in "emotionally"..... not sure that would fly with most landlords.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

I got to 40 mins and turned it off. I can’t watch it and I won’t engage with a follow up episode if there is one. Megan, please get an attorney and put something in place to protect yourself and your child. Your unpaid labor supports him in many ways and if y’all separate, you won’t see anything for the thousands of hours you contributed to his career. You are subsidizing his life in every way - just not monetarily. I say throw the whole man away. There is something going on here that makes my stomach turn, but I don’t know what exactly… Megan please protect yourself! Best of luck with your birth! ❤

[@marykaitlynclark-joseph4192]

I agree she needs to meet with an attorney. I hope Ramit suggests this.

[@GetGwapThisYear]

Amen.

[@labrigful]

Dang, and it gets worse 😢

[@JF-vw9lv]

Get an attorney for sleeping with a man and then getting pregnant? LOL. Birth control is cheaper than an attorney.

[@holisticallyme556]

Ditto get a lawyer to put an agreement in place and hop off the ship before it gets nasty! You don’t know the man you sleep with even married with until you separate. That’s when they show you who they really are but that’s late . Good luck on your birth x

[@catherinemac22]

I don't think I've ever been so frustrated watching an episode. They've been together for 8 years and every part of their financial life is separate and they don't function as a team. And with a baby on the way, all he is worried about is how much money she is going to be bringing in and how long she'll be on maternity. My heart breaks for her. She deserves better from a partner.

[@FIREownyourtime]

Right? I think he will check out within a year seeing how the baby will 'wreck' his COO life. Tell her to leave and write a $2k check to her monthly to solve the problem. To him there's no love, it's about how can I have a baby, my partner works and we will not need childcare while I can continue my fabulous COO lifestyle.

[@catherinemac22]

@@FIREownyourtime While I understand that not everyone would make the same money decisions as me, I'm having a hard time grasping his money logic. If I made north of $200k, no way my partner would be expected to work and bring in a certain income while pregnant/taking care of my child. You want a doula? We got a doula. You want to take care of the baby until they're in school and work part time or just be a stay at home parent after that? Sounds good to me. It came off to me the whole episode that all he cared about was HIS money.

[@CambieSweets]

It’s a bad situation but I don’t feel sorry for her. They’ve been together for 8 years, no marriage, this guy’s disconnect didn’t start yesterday. She knew who he was and proceeded to get pregnant by this man. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out and he pays child support, she will still carry the burden of raising the child. Women need to think about these things before having a child. We have to be more accountable for ourselves and our decision making because no one else is going to do that for us. We cannot control anyone but ourselves.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

@@catherinemac22or his stuff… unfortunately my parents are like this and we have no relationship. At the end of the day it’s just stuff. I’m starting to believe (nothing to do with this episode) that wealth hoarding is a legitimate mental illness. 😢

[@franchescathomas371]

She does but has to take some sort of accountability. She renewed her relationship for 8 years, knowing how he operates.

[@dcheetham8603]

100% - there is no shared life / foundation here - they're not married, no plan to get married, no combined finances, and no plan to. He treats her like his employee. Be a man, Jason - If you have 3m in assets, liquidate 100k to take care of your baby and baby-momma for this first year. Also, just a reminder that if nothin changes, your baby will grow up knowing Dad didnt want to marry mom, he'd rather just give "a card with money on it" -

[@EllieofAzeroth]

Wow that last line is a hard hitter. This whole comment was beautifully written

[@joshs239]

So, I wonder how you feel about children of divorce. I guess those dads are less than too. Can't be there for the mom and kid without marrying her.

[@Trix897]

@@dcheetham8603 even if they’re married, it’s no guarantee that he won’t treat his child like an obligation. Been there, done that, and it’s no way to grow up.

[@Trix897]

@@joshs239 marriage does provide her some security and so does divorce. However, their mindsets are off. They’re functioning like two individuals instead of a partnership. No marriage license will change that mentality.

[@joshs239]

@@Trix897 That I can agree to.

[@2009Holleywood]

This whole situation is bad. One he won't marry her after 8 years and a baby. She a single mom making 30k a year. And if he leaves he going to make sure she doesn't get anything. Yeah this bad.

[@dnah02]

The only thing she could get is a child support salary. She apparently won't get any alimony since they did not get married at least according to Google AI.

[@Suena2010]

Agreed

[@holisticallyme556]

Still stand bad in court you don’t really need to be married to claim your rights and baby rights in court, darling

[@holisticallyme556]

In the uk children act, 1989 section 1 covers those unmarried

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

@@holisticallyme556they’re in the US, won’t apply here 😢

[@bkewids]

This episode was so sad. You won’t marry the mother of your child? She has to ask for an allowance? You tell her to invest just so when you grow old and leave her, you can do so with a clean conscience?

[@nosiphiweradebe3846]

Aaaaaah this comment

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

so ? conscience is bullshit. it is his money and only he will decide what to do with it. there is already money-hungry single out there and women shelter whilst no men shelter

[@jozigalm8159]

​@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 typical attitude from SAn man.

[@vibesss1245]

This is so real

[@rpguitar]

Megan's vulnerability as a pregnant, unmarried, financially dependent person is so stark, that even if she doesn't demand security and commitment from Jason, he should be offering these proactively and willingly. That this point isn't more thoroughly probed during the discussion is unfortunate. And his ambivalence when the topic is raised is deafening.

[@lauriechan2966]

Cause he's a chump, not a man.

[@AAPAI_24]

It seems that the baby is an unwanted, inconvenient expense. It doesn't seem to be an emotional attachment, not even a response from Jason. His approach is so utilitarian is frightening. Marriage or not marriage, he seems totally detached from her and the whole situation. They are looking at the little dust in the corner of the room, while all along ignoring the huge elephant sitting in the middle of the room

[@jkirstyn]

Her anecdote at 55:00 explains everything on how this man treats her and how he will treat his child in the future. She wants a doula and HE’S asking HER where the money will come from?? You make over 200k a year, dude. It’s time to step up and be a man and take care of your household.

[@Gioli565]

This guy is pathetic!

[@meganmoon6197]

Yeah like this is your kid too wtf

[@itzchelbazan4562]

Seriously....

[@Capycorg]

I typically don't like the "be a man" narrative but in this case I totally agree.

[@Flowerpower124-u2b]

The thing is that he has never taken on the role of protector of the family. Which is why you don’t have a baby with someone like that and you have to run from them unless what you want is this casual relationship forever. He is not going to change now.

[@Lesmith82]

Why haven’t you combined finances? 22:44 Jason: “We haven’t had a need or reason to.” Fast forward to 54 minutes to see how Megan has likely borne the pain of this setup disproportionately. 😢 “I’m trying to keep up with him and with the lifestyle… I don’t feel entitled to any of his money… We put a lot of mutual expenses on my credit card….”

[@Siavhia]

And yet he says repeatedly that he is the one who has to solve all the financial problems. He is completely incapable of seeing her contributions and sacrifices. But then he adds to the confusion by acting like something is a joint issue when it’s a him issue - why high credit cards/low savings? “We” had maintenance issues with a property? No, the properties are his, these are his issues to solve. “We” worked together to choose a house but then she isn’t involved- house in his name only, he refused to have her be a part owner. She has racked up joint expenses on her card and can’t even discuss them with him. She is 8 months pregnant and doesn’t have a partner, and he is pretending they are a team but doesn’t understand teamwork. Very sad video.

[@Logical_magic19]

This is such a great point.

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

​@@Siavhia so ?

[@MixedG80]

@@Siavhia good points, except for the "sacrifices" part... She didn't sacrifice, it was a trade-off: she gave up control for access to a lifestyle she couldn't afford. I don't blame her either, she was 26 when this all started, but hindsight is 20/20...

[@sidehustlevikki1066]

I hope Megan reads the comments. She can’t afford to be a single mother and he doesn’t seem like he wants to be a parent

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

On Caleb’s show there was a woman who was clearly in an abusive situation. They did a follow up and she’s divorced now! Best of luck to Megan! ❤

[@bagel_bandanna]

She *can* afford to be a single parent, if the alternative is to be with a guy who can't emotionally attach to her and the baby. Dude can pay child support.

[@mrs.quills7061]

@@cognitive-botanical-therapyyeah I was thinking that too. His body language and the way he talks is low key abusive. There’s a reason she’s scared to bring up finances with him/ bend at all her needs/ stay for so long and it’s not just her trauma.

[@Gioli565]

This is an example of how we recreate our traumas in life. She wants so badly to “protect” herself based on her traumas yet she found a man she literally needs to protect herself from. She could have found a man who cares for her, loves her and protects her and yet she chose the opposite. He doesn’t even want to take care of their child, let alone her. I feel so much for her, she’s been through a lot. Sending love to her and the baby.

[@ZhiyingHarp]

bingo. yes, trauma recreated. she needs therapy.

[@sleepingdogslie]

Great observation, I hadn’t thought of that. I was too blown away by the fact they talked like she could be out the door at any time and he did nothing to assure her that was unlikely. He definitely does not want that child.

[@TaquitoAddict]

I'm just a few minutes into this, yet this is already making me nervous for Megan. They listed their assets separately with such a disparity. They're not married. She's 8 mos pregnant. He has a Porsche 911 poster on the wall behind him. I can already feel the unstable ground that Megan is standing on.

[@goodgirlvicki]

Very unstable. This situation is very stressful to me

[@hughmungushugh]

Yeah, the fact she specifically mentioned seeing divorced coworkers left with nothing made me think this. In the event of a breakup she'd be in a tough spot as an ex-girlfriend as opposed to ex-wife, as far as division of assets goes.

[@feliciawilliams5720]

I don’t understand having a child with a man who doesn’t want to marry you or carry you financially to raise his child when he clearly can afford it? I’m lost on her logic of doing this? She is setting herself up for ISSUES.

[@7Mushrooms7]

He's going to leave her with nothing.

[@7Mushrooms7]

​@feliciawilliams5720 this is something many women do. They want to make it easy for the man and don't demand much while the men are using them as bangmaids and doing what's more convenient for them.

[@spatty2589]

He doesn’t see any value in his relationship with her or her being at home with their child. He has no desire to take care of her or his family. He never once said being a husband and a father is something he wanted to do. She is being snarky, but she is the one that continued in a relationship where she wasn’t valued.

[@jaydubya9265]

She did bc of the money honey lol

[@Xinerius]

@@jaydubya9265 She definitely stayed because he's spending 17k on hokey games and probably drive a nice car. In this day and age, I honestly can't blame him for not trusting her. He can lose more than half of his shit and unreasonable amount stress from divorce.

[@deirdrekiely6187]

​@jaydubya9265 I don't doubt that she loves him but money is a factor. I think she is waiting on him to fully commit, which won't happen.

[@deborahmeek6529]

Yes

[@AmandaVieiraMamaesouCult]

@@jaydubya9265 it doesn't matter. If she were a gold digger, it is also up to him to not perpetuate a transactional relationship. But instead, he strung her for 8 years and impregnated her. It's time for him to grow a pair.

[@peterespinoza6243]

When my daughter gets older I’m going to show her this video so she’ll never get into a situation like this.

[@WildForIndie]

i love that you’re showing the CSP up front. makes it much easier to understand the advice. 👍🏻

[@nourishflourish8368]

I wonder if she is so cagey with her answers because she knows he won’t respond well if she says what she really thinks.

[@Siavhia]

Yes, it is very clear she doesn’t have a not feel safe with him or in their relationship. She said she kept her finances private from him because she knew he would use that knowledge against her if things went wrong between them.

[@suzanneemerson2625]

Sounds like projection.

[@janeevanee]

This is a prime example of “don’t date a rich man, date a generous man.” He has a 3mil net worth but is worried about her spending his dime and she’s carrying his child! A generous man with only $100 will give her his last dime bc he loves her. This man does not love her!!!

[@Coastpsych_fi99]

He’s the kind of guy you date of you are child free. He’s to cheap to have kids.

[@kimberlyturner820]

And he's gay🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MelissaAnne9416]

THIS

[@silviasottile4311]

does he even want the baby? I'm 25 minutes in the podcast but he never said anything about helping her get back to work by taking care of the baby, especially if he's sooo concerned about her getting back to work asap... that's so sad

[@latulip100]

Sigh absolutely not. I feel like he’s just trying to set her up to be single mom so he can drop her. I hope she gets large child support payments.

[@zipporahngigi4532]

I thought she said she's the one who has been wanting to have a baby

[@Aquaria2291]

​@@zipporahngigi4532 yep. She said that she told him she wanted a baby. It didn't sound like "we decided we wanted a baby". I hate that she put herself in this situation with this man.

[@lowlowseesee]

@@Aquaria2291 with her childhood trauma she is both doomed in a situation like this and also scarred enough to accept someone like this because he has a lot of money. she is absolutely the personality type that would benefit financially and emotionally from marrying someone and yet here she is in a full on living situation with no protection. wild times

[@suzanneemerson2625]

C’mon people - Don’t comment or form judgements until you’ve seen the whole thing!!! There is more information coming that may change your mind. Get over your ADHD!!!!!

[@jenmunoz10]

Ladies, this is a perfect reminder that if he wanted to, he would. Jason either doesn't want to or can't because he is not as well off as he is portraying. Otherwise, he would not bat an eye over providing for her and his baby. Also, 1:15 Jason claims he didn't have her on the mortgage to protect her financially and allow her to get her finances in order...riiiiighhht, sure it had nothing to do with him ensuring she had no stake to the home should they split.

[@miket78666]

10000%

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

he is good

[@whenwear7480]

I'm only 20 minutes into this episode and already concerned. The girlfriend complained about not knowing her partner's income, but he claimed he disclosed it when they bought a house in 2019. However, his name is the only one on the deed, so why consider her finances at all?

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

@@whenwear7480 because she has not invested in buying the house so why should he put her name in it ?

[@jaddek.astrie3071]

He is not into woman. 😢😢😢poor woman I dislike cases like this. It revolts my stomach. He is also irresponsible.

[@Suena2010]

17k a year on hockey tickets but he’s concerned about her staying home from her 30k job to raise a child.

[@eclipse.5295]

Wait until he sees how much his half of childcare will be when she goes back to work.

[@TR-lh9yz]

​@@eclipse.5295 Yeah that's what I was thinking. Hockey tickets and daycare are much greater than her income

[@Chagugugu]

That’s BS bro, who paid 17k on hockey tickets? That’s insane

[@kbcederquist]

Seriously, this makes no sense at all. Complete disconnect.

[@deirdrekiely6187]

​@@kbcederquist I don't think he's in love with her. He's keeping her at a distance.

[@dec1slh]

"We don't need to combine finances, ill just give her a card. " "There is no available credit on the cards" 😮

[@MinnaJeminen]

I could not watch past minute 7.. it made me sick to my stomach to hear he was worried about having to “cover” her loss of wages to STAY HOME WITH THEIR INFANT while he has 3 million dollars.

[@FIREownyourtime]

The most selfish man ever. He only wants the outcome and wants her to carry their baby, deal with childbirth costs, deal with child care, deal with her career while he gets to be daddy by just sitting there pointing at her. He is going to find out that childbirth costs $10k. Formula costs $25 per can, diapers and wipes are $100-200 per month and childcare is $2k per month.

[@jonm.678]

@@MinnaJeminen exactly. This guy could easily take care of his family. If I was making $200k a year my wife wouldn’t even work- I would let her stay home with the child. The guy clearly doesn’t care and is only concerned with the consequences of knocking up his “lover”

[@Susym242]

Infant care is even more nowadays, we spent 1,600 a month in 2021 for infant care at the cheapest place in our area which is over 19,000 annually. I can’t imagine it being worth it for her to work for 30,000 a year and pay 2/3 of that for daycare.

[@TheSharmam]

lets not forget, he spends $17k on hockey tickets. this NOT normal even at $1 M/ year income let alone his.

[@franchescathomas371]

Because he's not a man! He's a boy dressed in man's clothing. A real man would take care of his pregnant wife/woman.

[@dawnt5587]

She makes so little compared to him. Why is he so worried about her working? They were spending $17,000 on hockey tickets.

[@PS-bh3zp]

Were- operative word. He likely knows he won’t be earning anywhere close to $400k any time soon, has made adjustments and is likely concerned with her having an insatiable desire for guilt free spend. Any time the word “deserve” enters the convo, it equals disaster

[@ebullock1000]

Right?! That’s half her yearly salary.

[@gobuffs1993]

It appears he took a 50% pay cut and had to cut his lifestyle. He isn’t willing to go down further.

[@traceydean2803]

He’s making it clear that he’s not going to marry her or take her of her financially. He’s keeping her as a placeholder

[@colleenduffy1139]

@@PS-bh3zp A lot of the guilt free spending was also his hobbies that he wanted her to participate in the he wasn't willing to pay for.

[@cluelessloving-sx5jg]

so he won’t marry her after 8 years together, won’t combine finances, won’t add her to the house, and would prefer her to work even though he makes plenty a year and is pregnant with their baby…??? 🚩🚩🚩no wonder she avoids these conversations

[@TJrules299]

Under these circumstances, if she stays with him, she needs to work because he won’t provide for her retirement.

[@Maria-gj3nd]

Having a baby changes everything. His money is her money now.

[@destinyschild5768]

@@Maria-gj3ndhe doesn’t want it to be that’s probably why he won’t marry her

[@cluelessloving-sx5jg]

@@Maria-gj3nd entitled to meagre child support maybe but legally entitled to his money in general i’m not so sure :/

[@deirdrekiely6187]

​@@destinyschild5768 Accidental pregnancy???

[@yaee123]

He mentions that she goes back to work while still taking care if the baby "What amount could you work without adding childcare costs?" Like WHAT?!?!? ITS @8:37

[@FIREownyourtime]

As if the child is not his and only her problem to deal with. She has to deal with loss of income, balance raising a kid and also her own demanding career. Step up and man up for your kid!!

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

That is so confusing. She can’t take the baby on the plane with her! Any amount she works is adding childcare costs. This made no sense!

[@denomen3391]

Obviously the baby can take care of itself once it’s one years old

[@danielromerosol4158]

Exactly!!! what is he talking about, these are not serious people

[@Emmere]

Her never says “our baby”, he says “baby”. He’s so removed from this entire situation.

[@SilverSaabArc]

If they are living separate lives, she shouldn't be going on trips with him, or having a child with him. They really need to deal with the reality of their income disparity. They should start going by percentages, if she is only making a fraction of the income, she should only cover a small fraction of the shared trips. She should also have veto power over the shared discretionary spending, it doesn't sound like she has any autonomy in the shared spending. 26K in credit card debt at his income level shouldn't be glossed over.

[@JayJayInDaZone]

Exactly

[@Joce123]

She in the last 8 years should have increased her earning ability to come even close to his... She's like a gold digger

[@ILovePlants33]

You nailed it. "Weekend trip to Ireland" Uh, how is she supposed to afford that type of lifestyle? And he didn't seem appalled at how$the hockey tickets are, which also says his taste. There's no way she can keep up with him, even if she works more, like he insinuates she needs to.

[@mikaelaziegler9782]

@@ILovePlants33I think he likes the control and edge he gets from “having one over” on her. He makes way more money and wants a certain lifestyle, if she can’t keep up, it creates a really unhealthy dynamic of her not feeling good enough and him being the martyr in “helping” her and she owes him.

[@makayla4292]

@@Joce123ok incel

[@JillScott-jn5oc]

I can’t believe he keeps saying “we” decided on the house but didn’t allow her to be a co-owner. This is bizarre.

[@avgholson8143]

Financial Abuse

[@JF-vw9lv]

@@avgholson8143 She can leave anytime and date a man at her financial level

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

​@@avgholson8143 no it is his and he is smart

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

why should he make her a co-owner ? how much money did she gave him ?

[@jozigalm8159]

​@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 oh look, more trashy attitude. Is this how you plan to treat the mother of your children?

[@amypruss8391]

I haven't watched the whole thing yet, but how is she supposed to go back to work as a flight attendant unless they get a nanny? Otherwise, he would need to get baby ready for daycare every day, pick baby up from daycare, do 100% of daycare when the mom is gone, do 100% of the housekeeping (laundry, dishes, meal prep, grocery shopping). Heck, baby is going to be waking up at night. Is he up for doing all of the night parenting all by himself? I don't get it. It just doesn't make sense to expect her to go back to work as soon as possible, given that her income is smaller than the cost of replacing her at home while she's on the road.

[@FIREownyourtime]

Exactly. He is naive to think that a baby is simply a checkbox to eliminate. It throws up your entire life. As a flight attendant, she has to travel to airports get ready, be on standby etc, a lot of unknowns and on the fly changes. Is he going to send the baby to daycare daily and pick up on time daily? How about night flights? Naive and selfish dad. It's all about the money for him. How to maximize having money, have a family cause it looks good on a picture frame.

[@yaee123]

He mentions that she goes back to work while still taking care if the baby "What amount could you work without adding childcare costs?" Like WHAT?!?!? ITS @8:37

[@traceydean2803]

He’s gonna expect her to pay for childcare because she wanted the baby. A way to punish or say see I told ya. She better get ready for this roller coaster ride!

[@jcabslovesu2]

right? he earns 14k a month... her 4k would not make them broke. But he is clearly overspending. Also if he's 40 already, shouldn't he know her staying home will cost them less than having her work and paying for child care, house keeping, and many more???? he is insane.

[@traceydean2803]

@@jcabslovesu2 he didn’t really want the baby, she did. So he’s going to make her front that bill. And she’ll probably be doing all the child rearing responsibilities when she’s not working.

[@Trudloops]

I may seem prudish or old-fashioned but this situation is why you should be married before merging incomes and having children. They are together but not together. Messy. Wishing them the best. Thx for the likes.

[@mrs.quills7061]

Nah same. It’s not old fashioned it’s common sense. I feel so bad for this child. It’s gunna grow up with a lot of stress.

[@TheSharmam]

its not old fashioned. Married women have law protecting them in many ways which she won't. I guess he will be liable for child support.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

Marriage is a legal decision at the end of the day, so if marriage is not what they want, then some kind of formal or legal agreement could be negotiated with a mediator. I’m a woman and I don’t like when women settle for a “partner” with no legal protections either (a few friends have done so & it didn’t end well). 😢

[@jimenam7324]

Agreed. As I’ve gotten older, these “old fashioned” ideas actually make the most sense when two people choose to come together.

[@StevenEdwardsAudio]

That is, indeed, old fashioned thinking.

[@aatiyahpaulding8094]

She was 24 and he 32 when they got together. The picture in my mind is he was the baller and she was the cute flight attendant. I don't think he ever meant for it to get this far and now they're about to have a kid together.

[@LemonJelloQQQ]

Everyone is overcomplicating this. He just isn't into her.

[@Gioli565]

Then he shouldn’t have had a baby with her.

[@StevenEdwardsAudio]

I really hate to say it, especially if they read these comments, but that’s what it comes off as.

[@malcolms3220]

Idk… trying to trick him into saying that he won’t leave her kind of leads into her trying to “trap” him with a baby. I wouldn’t really be excited either if I felt like someone had a kid to try to force me to stay with them. Her terrible decision making is really the main reason why she’s here looking silly.

[@dancingoctopus9888]

He is worried about her not working because he does not want to be responsible for her. He is just protecting himself and hoarding his wealth. Has nothing to do with numbers.

[@jd200600]

Oh, it does have every thing to do with numbers. He is definitely trying to minimize potential alimony, which right or wrong, he is smart for doing.

[@Gioli565]

Yeah he’s a pig

[@rerungirl]

After 8 yrs and a kid? No. It’s not. Leave this woman if she’s such a burden and start over so you don’t have to be a responsible adult

[@Natalie_11188]

I don’t think he wants to support her financially ever. Likely they had been together a while and BOTH were too comfortable to change (with some genuine affection for each other). Given what I know of the world, she wanted a baby and he wasn’t against it, knowing at the end of the day childcare would be primarily her responsibility and worst case he could send a check every month. I don’t think he sees her as a partner at all, but someone to keep him company and raise his kid because it’s cheaper than a nanny and a surrogate.

[@dancingoctopus9888]

@@jd200600 They arent married and he definitely isnt planning on getting married. There is no alimony. He is not smart for protecting himself while putting the mother of his child at risk. He is not smart for treating her like shit. There is more than one sense of intelligence and right now his lack of emotional and interpersonal intelligence will cost him more than whatever the math comes out to. You couldn’t pay me enough money to have the kind of relationship this guy is creating. He is missing out and doesn’t even see it.

[@xfactor2001]

Hes talking about having a baby like he's in a meeting talking about operations decisions at his job🤦🏾‍♂️ and he starts off saying what's her plan not what is OUR plan. Its not only her kid smh

[@unknownt5391]

Good catch on that.

[@pam1830]

YUP.

[@traceydean2803]

She definitely said she kept pushing him to have a baby. Seems like he only did it so she would stop nagging him. Hence the “what’s your plan “. I’m not saying it’s right on his part, but she’s more than likely going to be a single mom living by herself. Or a single mom in a relationship with him because it’s going to be cheaper for him to have the kid living with him full time. Don’t nag someone to do something they don’t want to (marriage, kids, hobbies,etc) because they’re not going to put their all into it. And again, not saying it’s right but it’s just the reality.

[@mrs.quills7061]

@@traceydean2803which like if he didn’t want a child and that was her rich life to have a family he should have cut it off there. Instead he knocked her up and doesn’t want to deal with the consequences.

[@traceydean2803]

@@mrs.quills7061 I totally agree with you

[@katie8325]

Putting a doula on a credit card when he earns so much is shocking. What are they doing?

[@13ikea]

He wants her to use her money knowing she can’t afford it

[@JayJayInDaZone]

That's what I thought. But maybe he really didn't want child. I don't know. Sounds weird. A doula cant be that expensive or can it?

[@laura-vw9ly]

The doula is HER expense of course and should go into her guilt free spend category /s

[@joycef8443]

@@laura-vw9lywell, yes, HE’S not the ONE that is pregnant. Seems like a personal expense.

[@becoden]

THEY have a baby. You guys are acting like he had nothing to do with this. She didnt get pregnant alone. Why wouldn’t a father want the mother of his child to feel supported in the birth of THEIR baby.

[@zerega1985]

This is insanity. You have $3mm - get married and let her stay home. Her salary is rounding error. I can’t imagine having a baby with someone with zero caretaking instincts - hopefully when baby is born he’ll change his tune.

[@AmandaVieiraMamaesouCult]

That's insane!

[@TheSharmam]

he may even becoem worse cause babies dont make life easy, they make it difficult and although i feel v bad for the lady as she has a rough going as a child, but they are not ready to have a baby!!

[@jackie8357]

It's honestly a disaster, he doesn't want any inconvenience, he's selfish and doesn't even consider she's a flight attendant and babies wake up in the middle of the night , if she's gone, who exactly will be there??! Is he going to pay for a nanny, that's more expensive than half her salary. Doesn't seem like he's the least bit excited about being a dad. I feel so bad for her and her child (cause he sounds like he's just waiting to cut her off)

[@simonchen6698]

There is NO WAY he would get married if he hasn't done so already. To him a legal marriage is potential loss of over half his finances. If he's being nit-picky about a paying for a doula, her not working for a few months, there's probably very little chance he would risk $1.5m in a divorce settlement (or more, due to lawyers).

[@dec1slh]

​@@simonchen6698he wouldn't have to split what he had before marriage

[@unknownt5391]

Megan, I wish you well and I hope you protect yourself for the worst case scenarios.

[@paulwall142]

She has to take responsibility for herself. He has been very clear about what he’s about. No marriage, no financial support, etc so why f are you having a baby with him???? This was clear as a day a horrible decision. You get what you accept in life. I noticed in all these relationship shows, the person with no boundaries, self respect and cares the most , ALWAYS get walked all over on.

[@lauriechan2966]

@@paulwall142 I agree with everything you said. Still doesn't excuse financially abusing someone. NOBODY deserves that.

[@paulwall142]

@@lauriechan2966 He does not seem to be lying or manipulating her so I would not consider it financial abuse. If someone told you early on in a relationship they need 3000/month spending money in order to be in a relationship with you, and you agree to that, is it abuse? I dont think so, agreein would just make you to be someone with no boundaries. standards and not a lot of self respect, but not being abused.

[@13ikea]

I’m sorry I’m not giving anybody my check every month and my name isn’t on the house. He can put her and the baby out at anytime. Sigh. I feel bad for her.

[@michellegreen1072]

My name was on the house and I still didn’t do that.

[@MoneyMindsetCoach3]

Exactly, she is very vulnerable

[@13ikea]

@@michellegreen1072 then having to ask if I can buy something while you have 8 cars sitting??? Nope

[@311Rosita]

I agree. I don't know how this works in the US. But we have a cohabition contract and wills, to prevent this. Because we live in his house. I find this episode interesting because it's about an unmarried couple. But she is way too vulnerable and she is having his child. I hope they'll work it out. I don't understand the staying home discussion. Is maternity leave not required by law if you are working as an employee for a company?

[@moniqueg943]

It’s not. The U.S. doesn’t have mandated maternity leave. Most women are lucky to get 12 weeks of unpaid leave. That’s it.

[@TidalsWave]

I am five minutes in and he’s talking about the woman he loves and the mother of his child the way you talk about a roomate. My god.

[@GetGwapThisYear]

I don’t even think he likes her, let alone love.

[@SadieYak]

And like a roommate you don't even like....

[@dawandagoodwin7393]

Megan is acting like she is good with everything being separate but in actuality she wants a true partner. He is analytical and straight forward about finances but looks like he has no emotional attachment to this woman or their child. Like so many have commented this “couple” need relationship help before financial help. Not one time during this video does there seem to be an emotional connection or love between these two. I would have love to see them in the same room across from Ramit instead of separately.

[@dragonmom8739]

Yes. I was taken back when she said “lover”, that seemed very transactional.

[@TheSharmam]

@@dragonmom8739 he is essentially behaving like a sperm donor!

[@kallenedwards4747]

Yes. Th part when she is crying, he almost has a smirk or smile on his face. This man is a sociopath

[@Sam-uj6pt]

I listened to this and came back here to watch the emotions and faces. He lit up more about Rahmit saying his wealth is impressive more than them talking about baby!

[@Sarah-xw2ff]

Concerning.

[@MarieArter]

I wish this couple all the best especially with their new child. However, it feels like they built their foundation on sand and are preparing for a massive storm.

[@dancingoctopus9888]

Yeah this is literally insane. Do not have a child with someone who doesn’t trust you enough to combine finances and doesn’t want to marry you. He is telling her without words that he does not trust her or like her and he resents her work ethic/income. He isnt intimate or vulnerable with her and she is carrying so much risk- physically and financially. Breaks my heart.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

She was careful to say they are “lovers”, not partners, not friends, not in a relationship. 😢

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

why would a wealthy person combine his finances with a low income person ?

[@dancingoctopus9888]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 because he impregnated her…

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

@@dancingoctopus9888 nah sperm donors also impregnate thousands of people and this is 2024 and women are "independent". women should fend for themselves. it is women who create babies so it is women who should pay for it. why doesn't she abort like other aborters. all women are opportunistic and know it will give them 18 years long free meal ticket

[@iiDefied]

Imagine not discussing this before deciding to get pregnant.

[@sakura-rc3ed]

right?! literally insane

[@GraceRumbiManyeruke-Choruma]

I think you have the most fair comment so far. They both needed to be honest, very honest, plan and agree. Not either did that.

[@iiDefied]

@@GraceRumbiManyeruke-Choruma lack of communication and lack of thoughtful decision making is a reoccurring theme on these videos.

[@CrazyCanuck55]

I think this is an oopsie baby

[@iiDefied]

@@CrazyCanuck55 that actually makes a lot of sense

[@melhoman8302]

Urgh my heart is already breaking. This mindset in america of having no value in the mother being home with a baby for a period of time instead of being at work blows my mind. Its worth more than money. Also having a baby is incredibly hard and working ehen you have a baby is very hard. This gentlemans mindset is upsetting l. He talks about the baby as if it is separate to him and a problem to solve.

[@eclipse.5295]

And you see how his life isn’t going to change one bit but everything’s going to change for her. She’s getting a baby and all the responsibility of childcare. And he seems OK with that.

[@diamonument8777]

Getting pregnant to a man whilst having seperate finances and not even knowing how much he earns is crazy. Plus her name is not even on the house. I agree with what you say, he seems very detatched from her and the baby and doesnt value her contributions to the relationship as a partner and the mother of his child.

[@richheruk]

He paid $17k a year to watch hockey and seems to think childcare is free!

[@lowlowseesee]

toxic af.

[@damien82222]

Because they are not married. He is not invested in her

[@kemi1486]

OMG this poor woman. Her upbringing was hard and tragic AF. But, do they even love one another? If yes, then do an iron clad prenup to cover both their money fears, get married and raise your child together as a family unit. We need to normalize prenups amongst regular people so they can be truly vulnerable and center the love, companionship, respect and trust in marriage.

[@VBoo459]

As someone who lives in Europe where we respect and value mothers, it’s INSANE seeing this.

[@Gioli565]

I think they are Canadian and I think this is a THEM thing. Americans and Canadians as a whole are not like this at all. This is terrifying and strange behavior.

[@jcabslovesu2]

14k a month just from his salary... and she can't stay at home? someone is living beyond their means... Edit after finishing the video: I cannot believe what this man is saying. When she said he made sure she is financially safe if this relationship doesn’t work out… and then we find out his way of keeping her safe was her investing in her 401k…. Which is a basic financial situation for many people. He isnt actually helping her. Then he is clear about not wanting to get married to her, expecting her to pay for a house 1. He Knows she cannot afford bc he declined her money for the down payment and 2. Her name is not on the deed….. A lot of red flags. I am shocked how his thinking is like this knowing there is a baby on the way. He should’ve broken up with her and not let her on for this long if he didnt see a future with her…

[@jd200600]

She is in her 30’s, this is on her for staying so long.

[@alkarusalka]

It's giving me such an ick to be in such a situation, and with what happened in her childhood i understand why she's in this position and how much time she's dedicated to his relationship. But not once did I get the feeling that he wanted to help care for her and his child!

[@jcabslovesu2]

@@jd200600 it’s on both of them honestly. Either one could’ve said I’m leaving. The signs were there and yes she should’ve seen it and said yep I should go. the problem is he made it hard for her to leave. As a woman, we like to fix someone, hope someone would change for us despite our age being 30 or 20. She clearly had hopes that he would come out of his shell and take care of her which he did by paying most of their bills. She became comfortable which I could relate bc I dated a man like him too and for 2 years I was so comfortable yet everyone is telling me I was in a bad situation (left him after 2 years and I’m not happily married to someone who loves me).

[@Sortofwriter]

Plus she couldn’t afford to put 11% in her 401k on a $4K a month salary. So he praises her for doing that like she’s a good doggy when it resulted in her going into debt to do his fancy activities. Pfffft!

[@mc9105-p9b]

Why is she getting heat for having debt but he is sitting around with 8 cars?!?!

[@GetGwapThisYear]

Misogyny. No other reason. This guy is an asshole, and I get the impression she is serving as his beard.

[@mangomadnnesss]

That don't seem to work either because he didn't have a car to drive when he got into a accident.

[@feliciawilliams5720]

@@mangomadnnesss 🤦🏾‍♀️🙄

[@djf337]

He actually has more cc debt than she does! Honestly this was the biggest red flag for me. Not just getting into that much cc debt while earning so much, but also inexplicably *choosing* to keep that debt rather than just sell a car or two (or some investments) to pay it off. He walks through the world with everyone assuming he is financially savvy (COO, high income, high net worth, lots of properties) but even a teenager would know this is dumb af. I completely understand how she got into debt trying to keep up with his lifestyle on a fraction of his salary. Completely flabbergasted at how he managed to end up with so much debt though.

[@BlahDeDah7]

I find both of these two a little cringe. Him for not wanting to commit and keep dragging her around. But at the same time she keeps spending much more than her means. I wouldn’t want to combine my finances with her either. I feel like she thinks she’s hit the jackpot with him.

[@Capycorg]

Not a mom, but as an American woman its pretty disappointing to hear a "whoa" from Ramit and the male guest regarding 15 months of mat leave. This is standard in SO, SO many countries.

[@HeyTiki]

Yes!!! I was shocked. I’m from europe living in the states and it’s baaad

[@AAPAI_24]

Yeah, but they happen to be in the US. You can't ignore the context to their situation if you want to look at their finances. The fact that someone gets shocked it it (in their context) doesn't mean he disapproves. I too let out a 'wow' when my student told me the maternity leave and benefits she gets in Germany. It was a positive, full of approval 'wow'

[@HeyTiki]

@@AAPAI_24 sure, but the context is that he has a 3 mil net worth and she gets 30k a year or so. It shouldn’t really be an issue or shocking that she wants 15 months of leave. In this situation it would be more than reasonable.

[@lizziethelemon]

This guy is talking about the pregnancy as if the baby happened to squat in the mother's womb without his participation and then will later jump out and raise itself while needing to occasionally be fed and his lifestyle needs to continue as normal. He seems more concerned about adjusting to having a different set of expenses and I feel like he is pressuring her to provide the answers and the plan yet it is a joint issue. If a COO is asking these basic questions and overhearing a partner discussing the plan with friends instead of having a plan way before the pregnancy then the issue is not just deciding but rather both committing to being parents.

[@Anonymus-xr5ee]

I think that there is a cultural component. As a very basic, fundamental concept across many areas: Whoever makes the final decision has the (final) responsibility. At least, this is the case in a functional structure. For example, if a boss blames an employee (who executed the decision) for the bad outcomes of his decision, people would say that this is a bad boss and other employees would be likely very demotivated. If we apply this concept regarding pregnancy and childbirth, women make the final decision regarding childbirth, as they can individually decide if they want to abort the pregnancy or not. As women make the final decision, they have the final responsibility. This logic has very problematic conclusions, as we as a society strongly benefit from involved fathers. I have no idea how to properly resolve the contradiction. My impression is that the guy here has not really (actively) decided to become a father. At "best", he sees that as a favor to her (she wanted a baby, she got a baby). This is a bad situation.

[@anabanannapants]

40% of the way through but had to stop watching. This one is painful!

[@lanajane9591]

I’m debating whether to finish or not as well. She does not have any real friends bc this dynamic would not continue if she did.

[@martinzihlmann822]

it's like a car crash, I cannot look away.

[@WTF-sh4is]

This couple has another thing comin. As a father of 3 kids, I can attest that kids, and all the costs, emotions, and time, DO NOT fit into a predictable spreadsheet! I identify as this guy since I am an accountant. He’s very analytical. But that is about to blow up in his face when baby is born!

[@ZhiyingHarp]

i see so many commenters here calling him "abusive", "jerk", "selfish". Hope he is just being an honestly clueless analytical guy and is willing to open up to connect her and her needs.

[@0oohnegative]

This man….oh boy. She is carrying his CHILD and he won’t even pay for a doula for her, but will budget in 17k hockey tickets and not bat an eye. I hate it. She deserves support, especially right now. He is not being a good partner. Also, her staying at home with their baby is such a gift to him and that child and he NEEDS to see that. High quality child care is SO expensive, and NO ONE will take better care of your baby than YOU. That baby wants and needs its mother.

[@rebeccawcleung]

She started crying when she talks about him not willing to pay for her Doula at birth.. that's because deep down she knows he does NOT love her.. and when he walks, he will make sure he gets the kid and she gets absolutely NOTHING.. Megan, we all wish u the best of luck

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

megan, you are bullshit. the man is smart and intelligent to avoid the trap free meal ticket called child support and divorce incentive called aliMONEY

[@GoodLife-p5p]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 people who think like you should not be having sex without a vasectomy. If a man does not want to pay for a kid, don't have sex and create a kid. Period

[@GoodLife-p5p]

@@MdZeeshanAnsari1 if a man does not want to be financially responsible for a child he created, he shouldn't be having sex without a vasectomy. He had sex, he created a child, he is legally responsible for at least half of the child's expenses. Don't want to pay child support? Don't have sex.

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

@@GoodLife-p5p people who think like you should not be having sexual intercourse without a hysterectomy. if a woman wants to be "strong and independent", don't have any connections and transactions with men and reproduce an another parasite which leads to your free meal ticket called child SUPPORT. period

[@MdZeeshanAnsari1]

@@GoodLife-p5p if a man can create a life then why cannot he a destroy a life ? why doesn't he have any say in the process of abortion but ironically he has to pay money as a matter of fact ? The birth of a bullshit child is another free meal ticket for women for 18 years. why not millionaire women marry destitute men with low income ? and raise them ? where did independence go ? it is the women who create babies and it is only women who should/must pay for upbringing of babies not men. women can inseminate themselves with artifical sperm from sperm banks annonymously but why don't women do that en masse ? does it hinders your 18 year long free meal ticket ?

[@sdl2320]

Not wise to be a SAHM if they are not married. If they split up, she would have a very tough time being a single mom going back to work later. It’s the opposite of “protecting” herself. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Natalie_11188]

I agree.

[@SiliconValleyMommy]

She's willing to risk it for having a baby, which seems she wanted but he didn't really

[@bagel_bandanna]

And flight attendant is a really hard career for a Mom of a young baby.

[@CitAllHearItAll]

Lmao all they have to do is cut down the discretionary by half and they’d be fine. He can’t even manage his own CC. I’m blown away that he’s expecting her to stay above water when he can’t pay his own CC bill in full each month while making $200k Have a joint account for travel. Another for shared resources like groceries, eating out, etc. For a COO, he’s not very good at handling his own operational costs. 30%+ of misc spending at his income is trash.

[@colleenduffy1139]

Well said.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

He’s blowing so much money. I couldn’t even make it that far into the episode, but that’s crazy if he can’t pay off his card at that level. Wtf is he spending it on…

[@CitAllHearItAll]

@@cognitive-botanical-therapy He's spending on acting like a millionaire. Going to lots of sporting events, eating out at Michelin restaurants, and going on expensive excursions. He DOES have 700k in investments. But he was making over 400k at his previous job for YEARS! It goes to show that you can earn your way out of budgeting. I truly can't believe he's a COO. Can't even manage his personal operations. And it's so easy to do when you're making a high income! SO EASY. Even I figured it out.

[@lunatiger]

Sadly her self confidence is so low she just settled for a man that has wealth but basically hoards it for himself and not willing to invest in her or their baby. Too afraid and too late to find someone that would actually treat her right. Her “protecting” herself is not actually protecting herself, she just sunk herself more into debt by not being honest and standing up for herself in regard to finances.

[@FIREownyourtime]

As a SAHM, this is heartbreaking to watch. The pain and labor is takes to give birth to a man's child is immense. You get heartburn, hemmoroids, shooting pains, bladder leaking for 9 mths and your pelvis is ruined forever, leading to leaking pee when coughing or sneezing. Then, comes the c-section pain and healing. Then comes the waking up every 2 hours every single day and night with a crying baby, diapers, pumping etc. Swollen and painful infected breasts from breast feeding. Men simply cannot understand the body sacrifices a mom does. Its not just a rock under our bellies that you could just flip out and grow on its own. Then, there's the fact that you could bleeed out and die during childbirth. Jason, you need to wake up and treat your parnter right.

[@TheSharmam]

this !!

[@GraceRumbiManyeruke-Choruma]

Child bearing is painful and needs to be appreciated. HOWEVER, it needs to be a together decision. A woman can't decide to fall pregnant alone, especially if she claims to be walking together with her partner and needing his support as well as when she can't support herself.

[@JF-vw9lv]

its THEIR child...not just his child

[@Sortofwriter]

He's just going to be irritated when she's not feeling well after the birth, and he's definitely going to think she should do all the overnight care. Fuck this guy.

[@chelseabrown5763]

This episode is the perfect example of the repercussions of our culture casually engaging in relationships, marriage, sex, intimacy, connection, and attachments. This is sad to watch for both of them because they both are settling for things they don’t want. She doesn’t believe she deserves it and since she doesn’t- he doesn’t offer it up because he seems to not value her. They need a therapist.

[@louisea4920]

Triggering episode. My condolences to Megan for her father’s passing and in such a tragic way. You can tell how much of an impact it’s had. Wishing her a healthy pregnancy and delivery. As for her relationship with this guy, especially now that she’s pregnant, it screams financial abuse and just an overall lack of care and compassion.

[@aqueoushumor]

He is complaining about her $60k/year paycut to give their child the luxury of a stay-at-home parent, yet breezes past the $200k/year paycut he took because he didn't like the personalities he worked with. He clearly does not respect her. I suspect he thought he was going to come on the show and have Ramit join him at all his finger pointing at Meagan. I'm not sure if I want to listen to the second episode or not. I barely made it through this one.

[@AlyssaMartinpage]

Yes! He also focused on her credit card debt and breezed past his own, while making excuses about why that was ok for him and not her. Wtf..

[@JillScott-jn5oc]

She sounds like she’s about to be a single mother. I would suggest that she plan to go back to work after 3-6 months.

[@meagon1020]

Oof . As a viewer, if this conversation made ME uncomfortable, I can only imagine how this couple feels putting their financial situation online and their romantic relationship. I pray this couple grows as a unit.

[@stucsm]

Ladies marry before you carry! It seems like they are financially preparing to not be together in the future instead of planning a future together.

[@OneMamaToAnother]

Wow, there are so many red flags. They have no clue about how messy the next 18+ years are going to be. She needs to get her name on some of the assets he keeps saying 'they' bought and have a monthly child support payment set up starting the day the baby is born. They are essentially 2 single people who are having a child together.

[@luisvigo3777]

It’s interesting how there’s people who make and have far less and find ways to make it work.

[@streetguru6240]

God's provision, less makes you more dependent on things other than yourself, I suppose...

[@amaliafrancoaful]

I cant watch this.. as a woman this is too painfull for me, some man don see the work and the phisical and social changes the women go trought after being a mother and how vulnerable they are.. he doesnt comunicate as a team, and then her yeas later taking care of the chils by herself.. nah. I wish her the best

[@FIREownyourtime]

Exactly..her body is wracked from pregnancy. Leaking pee forever from sneezing. Men don't know these things. The pain to go through. He just thinks the baby sits in her belly like a melon.

[@Trix897]

It’s frustrating to see women put themselves in these situations where they are devalued. I understand why it happens, because I put myself in a similar position in relationships (never pregnant but definitely vulnerable), but I wish women would be more willing to say NO and be OK with being alone before making these kinds of permanent choices.

[@joshs239]

​@@Trix897Thank you. The Internet sees any women that has to make life sacrifices as a women to be protected but they are adults that have made these decisions. She has 7k in crypto and 13k in debt in that his fault too? She doesn't want him to teacher her how to ski so she pays for professional help. She could have not done that. No one is being forced into doing anything here.

[@Trix897]

@@joshs239 until children come into the picture. Then the father of the child(ren) is there for the foreseeable future. She needed to get into a better headspace and get a stronger grip on her finances before getting pregnant. Yes, I know it takes two to make a kid, but women are always the final gatekeepers. After all, we are the ones who sacrifice our bodies to produce children. We are the ones that put ourselves in this vulnerable position. This is why at this point, I choose to be alone. I worked too hard for my peace and my financial stability to sacrifice either of these things for the sake of a relationship.

[@amaliafrancoaful]

@@Trix897 i do agree A LOT with you, in this case yes, she wasnt prepared and with a partner that obviously isnt eather, but lest not forget that in MANY RELATIONSHIPS man change for bad just during or after the pregnancy cause they just dont feel ready, so we cant put that much responsability only on women

[@LizPlantLady]

She uses "protection" a lot. I wonder if by living separate she is protecting herself from his emotional punishing tactics. By putting mutual expenses on her CC, as well, she could be protecting herself from being emotionally punished. I am concerned about this lady being in a psychologically abusive relationship. Her upbringing was tragic, and she is increadibly vulnerable now.

[@simsamurai333]

Yes I totally see this too 😢

[@Gioli565]

She is 100% being abused

[@mrs.quills7061]

I saw it too, the way he talks and the careful phrasing or how she blames things and how he makes her feel stupid. This was so hard to listen too. He’s literally trash.

[@onehundredpercentmaxnochil9720]

I had a baby over the weekend and my husband's support is indispensable. I can't imagine having an emotionally detached partner while struggling to care for a baby! I wish Megan all the best but she should just cut her losses. 🥺

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

I think he’ll be calculating how much $$$ he’s losing every second by caring for her. It looks like mental illness, but I’m not a doctor. Something is going on here.

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

Congrats on your baby! 🎉

[@onehundredpercentmaxnochil9720]

@@cognitive-botanical-therapy thank you ☺️🙏

[@tessjune88]

This episode is one of thee most PAINFUL you’ve ever done (to watch at least). “We planned this” she said. It wasn’t planned… people seem to frequently think “planning” to have a kid entails literally just talking about “when” not the semantics of all the moving parts like work and money and child care. As someone who was recently forced out of my home of my partner of just shy of 7 years, right after a miscarriage, when we were literally about to get married (something I was always hesitant to do but he was not UNTIL I finally was ready), he made a large amount of money and I have nothing even though I helped him build his career. I was completely cut off on a seconds notice. Obviously there is a lot I’m condensing here but when I say it came out of nowhere, literally. Even our therapist feels duped by him. You never know with people. Also, you said you saw many woman cut their hours back to raise kids and then have nothing when divorced but that’s confusing because you said after the 12 months off you only want to work 50 hours a month. Not sure how that’s setting up future you. All in all this man doesn’t show integrity and they both aren’t showing up for a partnership to do TEAMWORK. I’m not all in on marriage but in the LEAST you must have something in writing and legal. Luckily she has his kid so that covers her a bit but how scary.

[@Sortofwriter]

Yeah he reminds me of Duncan, with the girlfriend who moved thousands of miles to be disrespected and treated like crap.

[@maris7]

So, this woman gave him 8 years of her life, her best years, is pregnant with HIS child, yet he doesnt feel the need to marry her, combine finances, give her access to his money or add her to the property that they are both paying for. He is not a generous man, you can hear from her voice she is not happy with him not providing and she doesn’t feel safe enough to stay home for a man like that. I feel sorry for her… 😢

[@deirdrekiely6187]

She should have left after 3 years without a ring. It baffles me why women get knocked up by men who won't marry them.

[@MoneyMindsetCoach3]

She has nothing without marriage, if she isn’t working she isn’t contributing to her social security, her name isn’t on the house so she technically is not a homeowner in case they split up. He makes so much money, her decreasing her income won’t make a lot of difference in their overall financial plan but with how they are so separate, being pregnant he need to marry her and totally take care of her. Yes she is living well because of his income but she really is unprotected financially.

[@13ikea]

@@MoneyMindsetCoach3absolutely. She can’t even enjoy her money because he’s pooling it with his and all those dumb cars

[@donaldo7656]

She knew exactly what she was getting herself into before she got pregnant.

[@sweetsmize6873]

@@donaldo7656agreed! I noticed she said “I wanted a baby”.

[@EmpressoftheLibrary]

I am looking forward to the second part. This episode is simultaneously heartbreaking and terrifying. Megan keeps mentioning how she wants to "protect" herself but does not seem to understand how her choices have made her even more vulnerable. She's made herself financially dependent on a man who has no legal obligations to her whatsoever, and who does not seem invested in her or in the relationship at all. They come across as roommates who happen to be having a child together. Nowadays, many couples avoid marriage, thinking that in that way they're avoiding divorce. As awful as divorce is, it pales in comparison to the legal nightmare that can ensue when an unmarried couple separates. If you're casually dating, then yes, you can just take your stuff and walk away. Once you start to build a life and a family together, it's SO much more complicated. The fact that they're kept their finances completely separate simplifies things somewhat, but it also means he can decide to evict her from HIS house any time he wants. If you don't want to get married, fine, but then it would be wise to take other legal and/or financial steps to address what happens not only if you break up, but if one of you becomes disabled or dies. Does Jason have a will or a trust? Who gets that house and the rest of his assets if something happens to him? Unless he's named her his heir, the answer is: not Megan. Who makes decisions on his behalf if he becomes incapacitated? Again, unless there's legal paperwork that says otherwise, the answer is "not Megan." Who is his legal next of kin? No matter how nice this person is and how much they like Megan, can we trust that once they find out $3 million dollars is at stake that they won't turn on her? People do crazy things when money enters the picture.

[@Gerelisf]

Even if he does want their finances to be separate, it would be so hard for me to be with a man who’s not generous enough to pay for a doula for our baby. It’s strange to me that his heart wouldn’t tug for his woman and want to make her life as easy as he can while’s she’s pregnant/ post-partum.

[@musicart2007]

Omg. No. I'm not getting near this one even with a 10 ft pole. No amount of money is worth being treated like that.

[@medaliztrelles5391]

Megan: girl! How are you having a baby with someone who isn't sharing finances? That's the deepest & most intimate thing a person can do and yet y'all aren't married??? Girl what???

[@mrs.quills7061]

I’m more worried she’s not even on the house. That to me was like yup he does gaf about her or the baby.

[@jozigalm8159]

She needs to get into single mom mode. No more shared expenses on her card. Not working full time isnt an option for single moms and its not an option for her. She needs to stop torturing herself. Hes not interested in building a life together, he just enjoys her featuring in his life right now. The baby changes nothing. What a sad episode.

[@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY]

I just resigned from my job of 6 years to care for our newborn and 2 year old. My husband and I have been working towards this goal for years and this couple could just achieve it in the snap of a finger. Your baby needs you at home, and they will flourish with parents who are a united front. Keeping things separate is just a denial that you two are now forever bonded through this child until the day you die.

[@lindaanderson1016]

Congratulations on reaching your valuable goal of staying home and raising your 2 precious kids.

[@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY]

@@lindaanderson1016 Thank you! It is the greatest joy of my life 🥰

[@Happymavishappy]

6:52 “Saving for my lonely future rather than our together future” makes me so sad.

[@celinelover]

“I don’t feel entitled to his money” GIRL you are entitled to his money if you are having a child together. Being parents means being a team. This is crazy to me. I’m all for people wanting to be parents whether they’re a single parent or actually married. But being “lovers”? For 8 years? That’s a grey area I can’t understand, just my personal opinion here. It’s not about you guys anymore, this is about raising a child in a stable home and making sure your baby mama feels safe and as the man-being able to step up and be a provider/protector. Seems like these days men want kids and a family but don’t want to put in the effort to be a husband or a father

[@tomaszp2027]

Let's go. Thanks for the CSP highlights. It gives the needed context to the conversation.

[@Lesmith82]

I love seeing the CSP first!

[@lastpolarbearcub]

This guy says I want to go to Ireland and go skiing, and then blames his “girlfriend” when she “overspends” on her $30k income to try to keep up with him

[@Investormillard]

That same kind of thinking is how my mother trapped me into $5k of bad rental car cc debts for here numerous recent family trips!😊

[@tracyaf6084]

This is really sad. The power difference between them is so stark. It seems like she can’t ask for what she really wants because he can just say no. He doesn’t want a family. I’ve found some men who excel in their careers like this want the same dynamic at home. They want to be the boss and no one gets to demand things from their boss. They’re going to be lonely together if they don’t change. 😢

[@benjaminroth4380]

In my experience it's more the women who look for a man they can "look up to" financially

[@JF-vw9lv]

She should have dated someone on her financial level.

[@firststar2]

" he is my lover for 8 years " ???? What? Boyfriend? Mistress? Side chick? Get to wife status, combine finances. Problem.solved

[@AbiTheEngineer]

Jason seems like he's trying hard to be one foot in and the other out, which is insane considering they have a child on the way. How can you be "separate" when you have a baby that will force you to act like one entity. This is not a money issue but definitely a relationship issue. If I were her, I would have never agreed to have a baby with him unless the money situation is completely ironed out

[@elizabethc624]

I can't continue to watch, each moment is so painful. I totally understand the trauma, but they need to really discuss all the ways their lives are intwined as parents. This is so sad.

[@jhgh2000]

POV: it’s 6am and you’re refreshing over and over waiting for Ramit’s video to drop 🎉

[@kelmike060404]

😀 Same!

[@amypruss8391]

What is an 8-month pregnant lady doing with a season ski pass?

[@cognitive-botanical-therapy]

😂😂😂😂

[@norwaybirds3015]

Yes... I think this is an example of people BEFORE they have a child. It will become obvious very quickly that this is an impossibility until the child is older. It's nice to dream though...

[@WTF-sh4is]

This was the best episode I’ve ever seen, Ramit. Many hard lessons to learn for many people in different situations.

[@ChefVictoriaFox]

This makes me so sad. Megan, you deserve so much better than this. I hope the 1K+ comments encouraging you to get out and protect yourself give you the courage you need.

[@jojowach3558]

I honestly wonder if he expect her to pay for the birth and the cost of raising the child. He sounds like he won’t be an engaging parent nor a supportive partner. Megan will be doing it all on her own. Just watching Megan express herself and tearing up about paying for her doula is heartbreaking.

[@Flying_condor]

Being with a man who openly says he is not interested in creating a family with you for 8 years and eventually having a baby from this person is very very sad, she could find a man who loves her and dreams to marry her instead of wasting so much time. I know some women have kids from wealthy men in a similar situation for that allowance that will give them a worry-free life, but she doesn’t seem to be this kind of women, and he doesn’t seem to be this kind of man, he doesn’t want to spend HIS money on her and possibly on their baby as well and can’t wait when she gets back to work so she can take care of herself and her baby.

[@Sortofwriter]

The problem is you can't necessarily find a good man who loves you. Not everyone does. One of my sisters never did and so she never had children. I think women like Megan think they have to have a child now while they can whether they guy is invested or not, and this one is NOT.

[@nomaam5891]

These are two single people who are co-habitating. An extreme level of FWB if you will. Jason has showed no excitement about this baby and Megan seems to be in la-la land. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to get married (I get it) but this is a situation where it’s mostly HIS money, HIS properties, HIS decisions. It’s all HIS…The only things that are HERS are the debts and the baby.

[@tammyjohnson5368]

To hear Megan talk about her childhood, I just want to give her a hug.

[@jackie8357]

This is what attachment to a person who doesn't see value in you as an individual nor a family looks like - he has so much yet puts everything on her card when he has 8 cars, just one of which could be used to wipe out the cc debt and allow her to spend on household things - he is penny pinching and spending so much on recreational things for himself, I wish her the best but he's not going to treat you like family he's treating you like an employee he wants to get back to work, sure she's not blameless and maybe wanted the "rich" life, this type of relationship just isn't worth it - waste of 8 years and now more with the baby

[@EllenFoster-j5m]

As a devoted fan of Ramit and his channels, this was one of the most interesting podcasts to date. It peeled back like an onion revealing more and more complex layers. A few things concerned me: 1. both spoke of the baby as an object, calling it baby, not the baby or our baby: 2. they didn't mention saving anything for their baby; 3. Megan's comment about going to battle with Jason and how she can never win. I see these as potential red flags, but of course I don't know the full story or these individuals, and they are both very brave to tell their story. I look forward to seeing where this goes next week. On a side note, Ramit you mention personal SOPs. I would love to hear more about these and how you use them in your day to day life. Another note - Have you ever consider individuals as left brain vs. right brain or analytical vs. creatives types? This usually carries over to money. Love your shows; love what you and your team are doing! Keep up the great work!