I'm changing (the trilogy)... THE FINALE: dropping out and almost dying

[@Kim-mw6xw]

I feel like I’m watching my 20 year old self right now and wish I could rant on how I’ve literally been through so many identical things you’re going through right now. From struggling with mental health, school, moving back home, finding underlying health issues etc. It all happens so fast and can be traumatic especially being so young and new to surviving on your own. I’m so glad you are still sharing with us your journey and are helping yourself! Despite my intuition, I went into isolation when all of this happened to me and I don’t recommend that to anyone lol. I feel compelled to rattle off some things that changed my life and I wish I started in my early 20s incase anyone is interested. These are just my own findings of what I wish I made a priority instead of continuing going through life without help or “structure.” Either way, it’s a learning experience but I believe in sharing and learning from others. 🤍 1. A therapist/mental health counselor that I am comfortable with and confident in their care for me. Not a psychiatrist but a therapist who I meet with regularly and helps me with bettering my mental health. Took me some reading to actually * get * how important mental health is. Tried 4 different ones and some research on what I want in a therapist to finally end up with a life changing one. Mine predominantly uses a “humanistic” approach which I never heard of but really resonated with once I looked it up. 2. Learning the “why” or some of the physiological/psychological science behind seemingly arbitrary things like: sleep hygiene, eating nutrient dense foods, working out, socializing, spirituality/creativity. Basically the needs listed in the hierarchy of needs chart. Demystifying or brushing up on these things exponentially helped me. I was able to start being an advocate for myself when referring to one of those needs charts whenever I felt off and seeing which one of my needs was not being met and how it effected other areas. 3. Financial literacy and having a budget and financial goals + a plan for them. Basically should be as important as math in schools but a lot of us end up finally learning once we are already knee deep in a financial pickle or just unsatisfied with not having met financial goals others our age have (Btw I thought my friends having money stay in their savings account was a financial goal not to confuse with trying to keep up with others materialistically.) I consider learning about your finances, budgeting etc to be so empowering and helps with feeling safe & secure. 4. Spirituality/practicing presence in day to day life. There’s science/research backing effects of meditation and more recently coming into the mainstream how the naturally occurring phenomenon of being totally in the moment in meditation can be intentionally practiced in day to day life. And the many life changing effects it has on people who practice it. 5. Support groups/group therapy/meet up groups/volunteer group/workout groups etc. there’s articles and research out there explaining the powerful effect having and engaging with a group has on people. Particularly groups that intentionally have a purpose whether that’s helping communities, helping one another etc. If you ever want to change something in yourself or are dealing with something I highly recommend finding a group for whatever it is and attending/engaging for a few months to see if it’s for you or what you learn. Again it can sound arbitrary or even scary but I recommend them so much because how effective they have been and still are for me.

[@annacantu]

thank you for SHARINING THIS this is so so important. I really appreciate you!

[@mackteaa]

Thank you so much for sharing this!!!

[@DanielleCateley1]

This is a wonderful comment ❤️🙏🏼

[@itsjustlisha]

Thank you for sharing! I was wondering how you found support groups in your area?

[@Kim-mw6xw]

@@itsjustlisha idk if my reply posted but I don’t see it so I’ll just summarize what I had written lol. I searched local groups on websites like FB, reddit, meetup, and I know there’s neighborhood apps where people share about local groups. Mental health counselors also have profiles on websites like psychologytoday where if you scroll to the bottom they share what groups they are apart of which usually are local. Luckily most if not all are operating remotely so they’re easier to access and makes it so it can lessen social anxiety.

[@Allyson.Cameron]

I didn't skip the ads. She said dropping out and 40K DEBT. We gotta do all we can to help our fave girlie out

[@annacantu]

ur perfect

[@huntlow666]

That entire first part i just GOT. Esp the part where you were like "im good at it so I guess I should go do it at college...wish I could sit and do nothing, dont wanna do anything else" I got that. I struggle so much with finding stuff I WANT to do because I ALWAYS get to a wall where I just think "no I don't want this, I cant go forward". I just GOT IT. thanks for sharing bc this stuff is so real for me (and others too im sure) x being young and having so many doors and so much in front of u is almost too much at once.

[@Kim-mw6xw]

I think the biggest risk is never going for the career area you always wanted to dabble in or have been interested in before you stepped out on your own as an adult. Like once we start living on our own something happens and money to survive starts to have us question our desire of that career path. And then as you age you start to remember again and wish your younger self just took the risk. I think it starts to get foggier because we get hit with fear of not being able to financially sustain ourselves. I now think money will come if we have intent and just pursue our dream we always had even if that means having a side job to support ourselves. Keeping your dream the priority is important.

[@annacantu]

yes!! i also hate making major decisions that make me feel trapped??

[@huntlow666]

@@Kim-mw6xw oh yes totally! Its so easy to forget where your thoughts and pursuits were headed once you get older and have more of the pressures & responsibilities of "adulthood" laid onto you

[@huntlow666]

@@annacantu for sure, I feel the same about so much stuff, feeling like I'm gonna be cornered into something before I've even done anything with my life

[@courtnryjk17]

and a side note, ALWAYS take pictures immediately after a wreck and you know everyone is okay. then they can’t change their story or what happened

[@annacantu]

yes thank you!!

[@monicanicole9765]

the way u explained how your mental health is while going to college is literally the EXACT same state that i’m currently in. i wish u the best and i hope dropping out will really benefit ur mental health

[@AbbyliciouzChannel]

Aww. Baby girl don’t cry. Its ok if you have anxiety and depression. Its not your fault. Please take some break and be kind to yourself

[@wemdoto4201]

The way I related to feeling like I just want to disappear and not do anything. There is one path that I want to go career wise but everything I do I see as unsuccessful or a failure so I feel like I’m constantly hitting a dead end

[@annacantu]

update: I just looked up trophy wife and that wasn't exactly what I meant. Maybe closer to a rich a** hot a** housewife but also mikey is there. so really we both are just filthy rich. I didn't go into detail TOO too much about my mental health in this video because I'm planning on making an entirely separate video about it. I dropped out because I didn't like school, but mostly because I needed to have time to heal and try to get my mental illnesses under control. ALSO I got a little heated when I talked about my car accident but I WANT y'all to know that Im so grateful everyone was okay. the other driver was rude, but I dont really hold it against him. I know he had just as hard of a night as we did, if not even more. We just handled the situation differently and I think he handled it poorly.

[@Severianaxo]

I feel you on the beginning part of this so much

[@sopipia3536]

This video really helped me feel not so alone anymore. I’ve been struggling with my depression and anxiety and it’s been getting worse and worse but this video helped me feel like I’m not the only one. I hope you know by speaking out about how you feel has helped many. I’m so sorry you feel this way but just know (I’m gonna sound like a broken record) but you’re not alone I promise. I know it feels horrible trust me.

[@annacantu]

thank you for saying this! if you need anything pls dm me 💗💗

[@MiaCoronel]

girl im really glad u started therapy, i know exactly how u felt/feel. dropping out is OKAY and we need to start realizing that, capitalism taught us that all we need to do is study and get a job to have money and never care about our mental health. please dont feel guilty for dropping out and always put your mental health first

[@galacticyolo]

i just dropped out bc of depression and anxiety and this made me feel a lot better and not alone

[@jupitired777]

I really resonated when you talked about excelling at school and still being really depressed. I have no interests or hobbies and I feel stupid telling people I'm sad or that I find very little joy in things because I'm still functioning and getting good grades and working. But I'm really just motivated by money Sometimes I feel like I'm just lying to myself about depression despite my su1cide attempts. It's nice to see someone put it into words

[@alonoaea]

this made me cry because I feel like you have described my feelings to a T that i've been trying to find the words to say for 5 years

[@Hannanananananananana]

it comforting to know i’m not the only one who feels this way. i’ve felt like this especially this month and i thought i was so alone. i hope things turn up for you

[@faithdeer6836]

you are NOT alone, i just withdrew from my main nursing class (that was vry expensive) bc i was failing and i just felt so alone and unmotivated but it’s important to know that we’re not alone and everything happens for a reason. you got this anna

[@mackteaa]

4:25 wow! I don’t think someone has explained what I’m going through RIGHT NOW better than you did! I can most definitely relate to the waiting to feel better and the whole “I’m gonna get this so I can feel better” or “hopefully this will happen so I can feel better “ and it’s exhausting to get disappointed countless of times and to find out that your fantasies actually wasn’t the key to the happiness you’re searching for...did I get too deep? 😳😳

[@annacantu]

this is the PERFECT way to describe this!!! yeah everything is just so disappointing, and it sucks. I feel like my imagination is too big sometimes, because nothing can truly satisfy it.

[@lichah982]

“Everything I do makes me miserable” wow I felt that.

[@kamrynb773]

i’ve been there anna. i’ve been struggling with anxiety/depression my whole life and was NEVER good at school and that never helped my situation and high school made everything worse for me, my family pushed college on me so much and pretty much didn’t care about how i felt about going and my mental health which doesn’t help you either. i’m so sorry that you have to go through this but it’s okay to do things for YOU! at the end of the day you have to live with yourself, not anyone else. hope you feel better anna❤️

[@annacantu]

thank you!!💗💗

[@sweetscorpihoe]

The day before I was going to start college in 2019, I was admitted to a psych hospital. Decided to take the year off. I was so upset with myself because I felt like I let myself down and all my friends were going to college. People to this day always talk bad about me not pursuing college. Mental health comes first. I need to accept that.

[@annacantu]

yes mental health comes first!! I know its so hard feeling like "you're behind". but we know ourselves best. that decision was best for your well-being and allowing yourself to make that decision is so important!! I'm proud of you!!

[@sweetscorpihoe]

@@annacantu thank you so much I appreciate it

[@starrie8804]

my first week of college last year, i impulsively tried to kms the day before classes started and ended up having to stay in a mental hospital and dropped out as soon as i was discharged. $6000 in debt right now and feeling hopeless tbh. but this comment made me feel less alone

[@sweetscorpihoe]

@@starrie8804 I got in to debt as well. However even tho at the very beginning when I dropped out I felt so shitty, I’ve come to realize that it was the best decision for me. I’m glad we’re both here today. Healing takes time. And our mental health is way more important than pursuing any type of college degree. Stay strong

[@kayladuffs6287]

me too baby. i dropped out last month and i’m glad i did

[@sarahbeaulne794]

take care of yourself!! i’ve been in a similar situation, when i was younger i was always a straight a student and then in college i had no motivation, i was in a toxic relationship and depressed so i dropped out at 19. I didn’t think i would go back but now i’m 21, i got out of the toxic relationship, i’m so much happier and i found out i actually have adhd which is why i struggled more in college! And now i’m starting university this fall:)

[@fromsev]

I really resonated with the first half of the vid. Like I literally felt this same way a few months ago, not wanting to exist. Dropping out and getting help was the best thing I could've done for myself. I felt a new kind of freedom. I hope things get better for you!

[@katherinemay8284]

the beginning of this video is like a big hug. i’ve never heard someone say everything i’m feeling/struggling with. thank you for being vulnerable because i know that’s hard but you’re doing so much good by being honest and communicating these issues with your audience because your reaching a lot of people like me who also deal with mental health. ❤️

[@lean154]

i feel exactly what you are feeling right now, im crying with you

[@cowboylikemel9410]

honestly it’s like i’m seeing myself, thank u for making this video

[@jeannav]

I feel like I’m looking into a mirror when I see you. Always. I love you so much. We are in pain

[@ednagonzalez2589]

Sucks to see you’ve been so stressed out, Anna. I used to feel the same way, it’s hard to not really know what to do in life and know what our purpose is. I’m finally on a better track now and I’ve been filled with so much happiness and I simply feel content with my life. All of this when I simply allowed Jesus to take control of my life. I started reading my Bible and simply talking to Him as a friend. It’s kind of weird at first but He’s real and definitely turned my life around when I didn’t really know what my life was heading to. I know He is willing to do the same thing for you and can add purpose to your life just as He did for me. Keep your head up, girl! You’re beautiful and loved :)

[@laniyahowelllaure7808]

you literally took the words right out of my mouth, you are such an inspiration to me, and when you don't post I get super sad

[@annacantu]

AWW NOOO okay i’ll post more just for you🥰🥰

[@rileynutter]

love and appreciate u so much. i know it’s weird to hear that from strangers on the internet, but you are SO important. all of us are here for you bestie

[@nancyperez1068]

The beginning made me cry I know exactly how you feel nothing brings me joy I don’t wanna do anything in life and idk how to fix that

[@emmasue9869]

I remember watching this video when it first came out, I was still in HS. I recently graduated HS and I’m terrified. I’m so worried I won’t like my school, what I’m going to be studying, or what I’m currently doing in my career. I feel lost and my mental health is never stable. It feels different watching this video a year or two later now that I’m feeling what you’re feeling. I’m still afraid but I also feel comforted knowing other people at one point felt lost or confused about schooling or their career and are either working through it currently, or found a healthy way out.

[@marwabhuiyan7254]

this videp was so so so comforting

[@shesmaudayakumar7613]

this statement needs a lot of explaining but ur literally changing my life rn

[@tildamaria1717]

i’m currently 98% sure i’m going to drop out after this term of college (ends next week) and i came back to this video to validate myself because i’m absolutely terrified i’m making a mistake or am a failure and this video is helping me realize i am not and that my mental health and physical health is more important than school will ever be. thank you for this i really needed this video

[@patriciarayas]

it’s like you took the words out of my mouth or my brain. you said what i’m feeling but i just can’t find the words to properly express what i’m feeling or thinking. since elementary-high school i’ve been in gate, honors and ap classes and i wasn’t trying, i was a good student then. and i know deep down i’m a good student but depression and anxiety just makes it hard. and i feel so upset when i think about how i excelled in school when i was younger but now it’s just so hard for me. i don’t have the motivation and energy for anything. i feel content doing nothing but other times i feel guilty, i feel like i’m rotting and i get upset with myself because i feel like i’m doing it on purpose. but i just have to remind myself to take it day by day, tomorrow is a chance to start new and do better. i know i’m going to get my degree, i like school, but right now i just couldn’t continue it. i’ve been going to college for 2 years now but this semester, a few days ago actually i withdrew from my classes. and i feel so good. i know i’m going back during summer but right now i’m going to enjoy this break. i think i deserve it after going to school without no breaks. you deserve this break too, to rest or to find a new hobby or passion, or whether you go back to school years from now. please continue to put yourself first, what you did was a very big and important step and i’m proud of you.

[@annacantu]

yes!! I totally get this. our society puts such a weird emphasis on productivity?? like you cant take a break/slow down without feeling guilty, even though our bodies tell us we need to. Im so proud of you!! listening to your own needs is hard especially when there's so much pressure to just get over it/continue. you do deserve a break! thank you for sharing this:)

[@danikarina6439]

i just want to say that im the same age, in the same situation, and this really resonated with me and i hope you're able to feel some tranquility in your life

[@manuelriojas]

Im a gonna graduate college this spring and i felt when you said you feel like you haven’t had any time to be yourself! I’m taking a year off before my masters because i wanna feel how it feels not being in school

[@annacantu]

its so freeing! I'm so proud of you for taking a break, you deserve it!

[@manuelriojas]

@@annacantu 🥺 yah it was actually really hard to decide it. I was scared that i would not go back but i know I’ll be able to. I really just want to experience new things and enjoy being young

[@evesarahi7641]

You said everything that I couldn’t

[@stephmarie5476]

Watching this and balling my eyes while watching because this is exactly how I felt since I started school in August and I recently quit in March and omg this is exactly how I be feelings 24/7 and I just feel so stuck :(

[@sopipia3536]

Also I’m so proud of you for taking steps for yourself to feel better. especially difficult decisions like deciding a profession isn’t for you.

[@rileysigne4662]

All of the things you are talking about really resonate with me. I am so proud of you for getting help and giving yourself a break because it is what you deserve. Things ease, you will start to feel better in due time. Rooting for you!

[@renata4108]

First things first, I am really glad that you are safe and that the car crash didn’t do you guys much physical harm. Secondly, thank you for speaking about your experience with mental health struggles. Being the eldest child in my family, my mental health is often overlooked and I don’t have anyone to look up to. I’m often alone during my mental struggles and don’t feel validated, but you have showed me that there is hope and that I am not alone. I will continue to follow you on your journey to a brighter future ☺️💖

[@grumpy8bur]

I have never related harder like I’m in so much debt I have no support and I just turned 20 but I don’t feel like I’m “adulting”. But life feels like it’s moving fast around me and I’m just in slow motion and I’m also in treatment for my mental. But just know you’re not alone and loved and freaking amazing 🤍

[@annacantu]

yes EXACTLY i had no support and felt like i still needed someone to remind me to eat and brush my teeth. i don’t think i’ll ever feel like an adult

[@rodriguez7198]

so glad I'm not the only one😭😭😭💔

[@paige8448]

wow, somehow you’ve put my exact feelings into words. i’m struggling so much with college and friendships and just life in general. nothing seems to matter, but at the same time i just feel so stressed and afraid i won’t live a meaningful life. and i know that i need to get help, but i just keep ignoring it. i think it’s about time that i start addressing things and this video rly helped me to realize that. also thank you for being so vulnerable about your feelings, i know it can be very hard to do that especially online, but this meant a lot to me

[@EarthChild9000]

Know you are not alone and this is exactly how my depression takes me over too. I feel erratic and out of place and like nothing good will ever come.

[@ginaroberts4355]

I had this happen to me. It was absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry I know you will grow from this.

[@abbigailchristine6646]

I felt this beginning part so much, I was in a dead end job, I dropped out of college, I was with a shitty abusive boyfriend and I felt so so miserable and like my life was over at the age of 21. But now I’m medicated for my bipolar anxiety and depression and I dumped the shitty boyfriend and I’m back in college but GIRL the four gap years I took from college was NEEDED so don’t worry because you might need a gap year or four! Do what’s best for YOU it’s your ONLY life and you better live it the best you can

[@allyjewell4936]

Love you so much anna, thank you for opening up. So many ppl feel this way and keep it to themselves so thank u for bringing it to light! I dropped out of college last semester and now I go to cosmetology school. Trust me it sucks at first, but once you do what’s best for you, you glow!

[@ari.ii.i]

i’m late by a week but honey, i understand how you felt. you are a lovely person, you gonna get through everything this cruel world throws at you. it’s not your fault that you’re struggling with mental health. mental health is important and honey you should take a break and figure yourself out. find yourself mentally and spiritually. i’m proud of you and everything that you have done. stay strong love

[@averyfahl1556]

Happiness is success not the other way around❤️ Your mental health comes first!

[@uncleellas]

this feels super relatable to me right now. I'm in first-year uni and just absolutely hate it, and it sucks because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do instead. I grew up being told the only way to be successful was getting a degree, and I just hate it and the course and the uni and have zero motivation to do anything. thank you for sharing this because its made me feel like I'm not alone and not just being 'lazy', with the whole college thing. sending love

[@kidrauhl0103]

i wish i can get an A while feeling miserable in uni. i've been failing and failing a lot but i cant even drop out bc its the opp for me. dropping out will make me be in debt. but if i cant pass and graduate by june, i'll also be in debt. i dont wanna exist sometimes and i just dont want to do anything. like you, it sucks just waiting and waiting for something to make me feel like im made for this.

[@annacantu]

i’m so sorry. yeah it’s really hard feeling like you have to wait to feel better. but i have faith in you! if you need anything pls reach out to me!

[@kidrauhl0103]

@@annacantu thank you so much! also i hope that you're getting the help that you need and taking the time to put yourself first above everything else. good luck

[@greengrrrrrl]

watching this video and reading these comments bawling my little eyes out UGH. i know that rationally i’m not the only one going through this, but hearing somebody say it just makes me feel so validated. thank u thank u thank u. good times are comin baby!

[@sbenson8102]

oh my god the beginning was so relatable that’s exactly how i feel expressed into words on the dot.

[@celeaseh]

Thank you for this. I went into college as pre-med, I failed a class and started making C’s and D’s this year. I don’t want to do it anymore. I feel you about not feeling able to do anything and having to live up to your own expectations along with those of others. It’s frustrating and terrifying to feel the way we do. I relate to this so much, thank you again. Hopefully it will get better sooner rather than later. 💘

[@cuca8297]

the waiting thing i relate waaaayy too much. Never being happy and hoping that the next (materialistic) thing will make you happy. But I‘m so happy that you dropped out and are truly happy!!

[@solana321]

I literally feel like she is talking to me and experiencing the same things I am. I’m simply just lost and not happy and I don’t know where to turn.

[@annacantu]

I know, growing up is so hard, especially rn:/ I'm sorry you feel like this too.

[@hail1660]

Good for you girl - self advocation/prioritization is one of the hardest things to learn, but it will be the best thing for you! I wish you the best

[@yuli-nl3gi]

i felt this so much. i literally feel so unhappy w everything in my life and it’s just so suffocating and frustrating. i feel like it really gets worse in college and i’m not even there yet like i’m still pushing through my senior year and even this has just been so terrible. i’m glad you were able to make a change to help yourself instead of forcing yourself to keep going knowing it’s just hurting you. i literally feel the exact same about always waiting around like i feel like i’m just going to be waiting my whole life for something to good to happen to me or just wait around for the time im actually happy and content w myself and life. all this is literally so scary to me bc the thought of just having to work for the rest of life sounds so miserable.

[@annacantu]

I know I completely feel the same. its really hard but you arent alone. and now that I'm out of school I do feel more in control of my life which has helped. I know that someday you'll also feel like you have more control over your life. not sure if this helped because (again I KNOW how helpless everything feels) but if you need anything ever, PLEASE reach out to me. I am here for you!

[@DanielleCateley1]

Wow, the first part of this video is SO freaking relatable. Thank you for sharing. I'm 28 this year and am also in a rut. I've gotten too comfortable in my current job, which I hate and which makes me feel like shit because of fear from my anxiety - It's taken me a long while, to realise how important getting help for ones mental health is, and not letting fear stop me. I'm also starting to realise that you cannot live according to what others think/believe you need to - You need to live your life for you, and do what makes you happy. This is your journey ❤️ All the very best on yours 🙏🏼♥️

[@michellev3856]

i relate to the beginning so much and this made me realize i need to work on myself and focus on my mental health. like everything you were saying about school and always waiting for the next thing and having to figure out yourself/ your mental health, i literally felt like i was listening to myself. thank you for posting this

[@melanymarinnn]

it’s okay girl, college is a difficult road and I also have mental health issues. If you can’t handle it right now then you don’t blame yourself and you do it for yourself and your mental health. Mental health is precious and worth so much more. You will find your path, and find what you want to do eventually. When I first got into college I went from pre-vet which is what I’ve always wanted to do and then I realized it wasn’t what I want and it was such a hard pill to swallow... but I went through so many majors and finally chose one where I feel happy. So take your time! everything will resolve itself !

[@deIcorazon]

i’m going through the same thing and feeling the same way especially because i’ve never loved school and i’m struggling so much hiding the way i feel i just can’t let my parents know because they’ve invested so much work and money for me to be able to study so i think i’m gonna need to keep pushing :( but i’m so happy for you and so happy you’re finally taking care of yourself i love you and i wish you the best always!!!

[@annacantu]

keep pushing if you want to, but also keep in mind that it's your life! you don't have to live for your parents, unless you want to! I know we will all feel better soon, we're just having growing pains:) I believe in you and if you need anything PLEASE reach out!

[@lpslabiba]

anna im so amazed at how well u spoke about ur troubles and what u were feeling. i know a lot of ppl at the same stage in life feel the exact same way and its not easy doing anything when ur mental health is negatively impacting ur mind all the time. what you said in the first part was so so relatable and i feel like a lot of ppl felt comforted because their feelings were finally said so clearly

[@awizard9835]

I also dropped out recently for similar reasons. I felt this and its so nice to see that other people relate and are not regretting their decisions

[@kelseyhastings3357]

I’m completely understand how you’re feeling! I dropped out of college (I don’t regret it) I have depression/anxiety/ bipolar 2. And I got in 2 car wrecks. I got rear ended last year and he totaled my new car. It sucks so bad.

[@kelseyhastings3357]

Last summer I would cry ALL DAY EVERY DAY. From the second I woke up. I couldn’t stop. I got on the proper meds, I’m still anxious but I have faith I’ll feel better.

[@destinymora3175]

This makes me feel so much better I had to drop out of college because my mental illness was so so so bad to the point I would cry for no reason everyday the only reason I went to college was for my parents to make them proud and the thought of not having a degree scared me and gave me anxiety because how would I be successful as well but I had to think of myself and put my needs before anything else I have not cried since dropping out and been talking to a therapist I’ve felt so much more alive then I did when I was in college. Thank you for telling your story it helps me know I am not alone🤍

[@marissa-127]

i am literally feeling the exact same way anna:/ i went to ou and i thought “yes, i finally made it, all my hard work is paying off and my family is proud” but while i was there by myself i realized, “why am i doing this”? seeing you sad and cry takes me back to those stressful nights when i just wanted to give up. i saw everyone else from my hs doing bigger things while i couldn’t finish college. i hope you feel better soon because im slowly getting there and i know you will to

[@TheScarredEclipse]

Girl, I feel you. I really do, especially when it comes to being a student who's perceived as academically talented. I'm in my final year of university, and I have to force myself to do the basic things. I don't want to study, I don't want to work, I don't want to care. But at the same time, I do, I just don't have it in me anymore. It's sometimes really difficult to wake up when there's a huge massive weight pressing on your chest. I understand the waiting process. Just waiting for that motivation and happiness to kick in. I'm constantly stressed and never content. I haven't even had a good night's sleep in a long ass time. Right now I'm struggling a lot with SA and R trauma that have resurfaced so I don't feel comfortable around people in general. I feel extremely alone and there are times where I don't know how to communicate my feelings, at all. But I know I'll be okay. And so will you be and everyone who may be reading this comment. I have no idea what's in store for me, but I am taking steps to get the help I need. Take care of yourself, lovely. I honestly wish I knew you in real life, so I could just give you one big hug. God bless you, you're going to be okay x

[@annacantu]

thank you for sharing this, it means so much! I appreciate you!

[@h4nnah13]

i am so proud of you for taking the steps to help yourself. your mental health and happiness go first before everything else. you are such a strong person and you are going to be okay. you are so successful for your age and i know you will be for the rest of your life. i love you

[@margaretdelong5063]

i’m so proud of u!!!!!!!!! i know how hard this can be. i’m so excited that ur gonna find yourself :)

[@meohmya]

I really understand the beginning of the video where you talk about how you feel like you’re waiting for big things to happen. I’m almost 21 and I haven’t even started school yet, I live with my parents and I have no idea what I want to do. I feel like I’m waiting for something to pop up and make me happy and find purpose. But I’ve learned that life isn’t about waiting, it’s about taking action as soon as you can..but it’s like what if you don’t know what you want to take action of? Then what? It’s all so confusing and frustrating and I stand by you 100%❤️

[@annacantu]

exactly!!! ugh yes this is such a great way to put it

[@marwabhuiyan7254]

you are my comfort person

[@freyaallan3267]

everything you said in the beginning is everything i’ve been trying to express for my entire life. when your brain stops at nothing to make you fucking miserable, it’s impossible to enjoy anything, so why would you want to go out and try to enjoy yourself just to be reminded that it’s not possible

[@tinashechandia9888]

I really relate to your situation, I hope things get better for you sis, love you sm❤️❤️❤️

[@xoxocassy1]

i appreciate you being so open. i am PROUD of you for dropping out and doing what is best for you. wishing you the best 💗💗💗

[@theresamarie5483]

Girl my heart goes out to you. I’m in the second semester of my first year of college and I stress a bit tbh so I get you. I hope that one day you are able to succeed in what YOU love to do. Head up✨✨

[@-.--.-9251]

thank you for sharing this , makes us realize we all go through stuff and that’s okay . i really look forward to watching yours and your sisters videos

[@loranahethcoat2626]

It will always feel like you are waiting. Becoming grounded with the right now is the hardest thing to do at least that’s how I feel right now. Coming to terms with the fact that everything won’t always be ok. And it’s fully in my power to let myself be ok with that fact. Life is a journey. Music, poetry, dancing, if everything was supposed to be what happens at the end. There would be nothing.

[@loranahethcoat2626]

Also I know you’re somewhere in this moment thinking and doing something different from when I’m watching this but I’m watching the part where you’re rein-acting the accident and like you’re just so good at story telling I’m so invested I feel like I’m in the car listening like 👁👄👁

[@loranahethcoat2626]

Also what I mean by if everything was to be about the end then everything would be short you know? So basically there would be nothing. We listen to music not to just hear the last note we don’t paint only to see what it looks like at the end we don’t read to only know what happens. We don’t dance just for the applause. We do everything to feel. Y’all don’t know me and I don’t know y’all but collectively we all know that’s the human experience. I put so much pressure on myself for this “end product” that if by the end of my life if I’m not the perfect human, I didn’t do it. But that’s not right and that’s not living

[@Redvelvetgirl14]

I’m so sorry Anna :( just know you’re not alone, i dropped out of school last year for pretty much the same reasons

[@Redvelvetgirl14]

ahaha idk what I’M gonna do but ik you got this, good luck ❤️❤️

[@annacantu]

you got this too!! thank you!💗

[@lacistephens1553]

i relate so much to the always waiting for something part. like my whole life i’ve waited for this or that to be happy and it just doesn’t work.

[@karlarivas922]

this video came to me at the perfect time. My anxiety and depression has been getting so bad, along with many family issues and so many responsibilities. I have no time for school and I have had no motivation to do any work or join class. Online school is not for me and I have been debating drooping my classes. You got this Anna💛Thank you so much!

[@annacantu]

do what feels right for you! What ever you decide I know it will work out. Im sorry you're struggling right now, if you need anything I understand and am here for you!

[@karlarivas922]

@@annacantu you're truly the best

[@amathieson98]

i graduated college last year with a degree i can do next to nothing with. i contemplated dropping out SOOOO many times and honestly? i regret not doing it. i was miserable and harassed for 4 years, got a degree thats basically worth nothing, and owe $100k. i hate the stigma around dropping out of college so much thats what scared me out of doing it myself. you do you girl, im very proud of you❤️

[@annacantu]

im so sorry. thank you for sharing this, I hope you find more peace with your decision! if you need anything please let me know!

[@deniseperla159]

this is exactly how i feel, i just don’t want to do anything and i hate college but i have nothing else. no other choice

[@odalyst.2102]

Anna... thank you for posting this. I honestly feel exactly the same way and it’s scary how much this resonated with me. I don’t know how to make you feel better because I’m honestly stuck at this exact point. But you are valuable. You are loved and I do believe things will get better. ❤️

[@annacantu]

you are loved too. thank you for sharing this!

[@sashaha]

i feel the same exact way, i have no motivation do to anything in college and i’m probably gonna fail most of my classes but i’m so scared i won’t be successful if i drop out idk what to do

[@belljanosky1888]

hi my love. your feelings are validated. your feelings matter. ALL OF THEM!!! i love you so much for everything you do and everything you try to do. you’re an amazing human. never ever give up, but always give yourself time to relax.

[@annacantu]

thank you for this!!! it means a lot💗💗

[@melissanguyen8973]

I’m going to college this September 21 I’m going to enjoy college stay strong and be brave ☺️

[@zoebade5740]

I love you sooo much. I needed this. I feel you on a soul level babe.

[@caitlingail8238]

thank u sm for being vulnerable w us, I genuinely related to what u were saying in the beginning and I’m glad that you’re starting therapy.

[@missleahstheatrelife7483]

I feel you Anna. I’m proud of you

[@wannabesocialreject6655]

Thank you putting most of my thoughts into words, your not alone bby ❤️

[@karinagonzalez5927]

GIRL THIS IS MY SIGN TO DROP OUT BECAUSE LITERALLY FUCKING SAMEEEEE i legit got in a car accident two days ago also and I’ve been depressed and wanting to drop out because i hate school so much but I’m like smart and uggghh i just don’t know I’m so scared of being a failure at life but anywayssssss hopefully i build up the courage to withdraw and just want to say I’m proud of you girlie keep on inspiring us love you lots 🥺💞

[@annacantu]

Hiii! I know exactly how you feel! but I just want you to know that know that I've been out of school for a little over a month, I feel so free. I don't feel stuck or like I'm going to be a failure. I think its just hard taking the first step. but there's a place for everyone in this world regardless of whether or not you have a degree. listen to yourself. you know what's best for you! you are strong and I know you can make it through this:) if you need anything, Im here!

[@karinagonzalez5927]

@@annacantu thank you sooooo much for responding to me 🥺 love you lots and thank you for helping me through this 🥺💖

[@mjjghswrld]

i love this trilogy series thank you for sharing all the good and bad things that have happened to you rn. i am sending you sm love and hope

[@lupiiiss]

i have never related to anybody so much. i love u so much

[@cherrydiamond4475]

I relate to this so much Anna! ❤️ good change will come soon for you I know it will, stay strong 🦋🌻

[@kimberlymora8221]

i completely relate to the first part of this video wow im wishing you the best love!

[@annacantu]

I'm wishing you the best too! thank you!

[@mikaylamilner6786]

ily ily ily ily ily so much even tho we dont know eachother. but just letting u know ive been subscribed since like ur first vid :)) and ur my idol.

[@annacantu]

omg ily🥰🥰🥰

[@lelylemayhall1163]

I dropped out after first semester of college. It was the best decision I’ve made. I was not happy and honestly school isn’t for me.